do ghosts think i act weird
all these navy guys are the sameeeđ so toxic i hate it here
I hope I live long enough to see the children of Palestine, Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria wake up to the sound of birds not bombs
this is miguel oâhara being a dick
pairing: miguel oâhara x fem!reader
-
miguel knows heâs fucked.
he has been neglecting you, putting his work above your needs and ditched on dates he canât count with his fingers. at first you were okay, given that youâre dating such a busy man like him, you understand the consequences.
but youâve had enough. there were nights where you cooked dinner, only to be left untouched by him or where you softly cried yourself in the middle of the night because he was still out. the only time he comes home is when youâre already asleep, then he left to the HQ in the morning before youâve gotten the chance to wake up.
you confronted him about this. paid a visit to his office before going to work. Jess and Lyla had warned you to not disturb him but you managed to make them back off with a single frightening look.
yes. they are scared of you. a lot of them are. they do not want to test you at all.
the moment you stepped into his office, he didnât even bother to look. eyes were just too focused on his work that he assumed Jess was the one who walked in.
âoh, youâre fucking your co-worker now?â your tone laced with sarcasm and anger with arms crossed over your chest,
hearing the familiar voice, he had never whipped his head so fast. ây/n? what are you doing here?â
âwellâ you start, heels clicking against the floor as you step towards him. âsince my boyfriend has been MIA for almost a week i figured i should stopped by.â
his head shook, turning his focus back to what he thought mattered most. ânot right now, mi amor. Iâm working.â
âi can see that, dumbassâ you respond in a cold tone. frowning as to why he couldnât take one second off from that god damn screen. âyou and me are going to get breakfast together. now. before i go to work.â
âi told you I canât. Iâm busyâ he replies, brushing you off with his hand. ânext time.â
âiâm a busy woman too!â your voice shakes, wanting so bad to scream at him and throw that tiny desk at his head. âbut I always want to make time for you, Miguel!â
no response. he muttered something under his breath but you couldnât hear him.
un-fucking-believable
âyouâre such a fucking asshole, you know that?â tone laced with venom as you spit the words. clenching your fists by your side as you struggle to hold back the tears. âi feel like this relationship is one sided, the only person that is truly making an effort is me. you donâtââ
Miguel couldnât take it anymore. he threw a desk and it went flying, thankfully it didnât hit you. though your eyes went wide in shock, a loud gasp left your lips as you covered your mouth with your hands.
âyouâre right! I donât! I donât care about some silly little fucking breakfast when the universe depends on me!â he pointed at himself as his irises turned red when he looked at you. his breathing went heavy and he still wasnât aware how scared you were at him at that point.
âdo you have any idea how fucking hard it is to keep all this shit together?! how many people will die if i donât do what i gotta do! I donât always like it, y/n but i have to do it! and here you are trying to play house with me itâs fucking pathetic!â he scoffed, putting his hands on hips.
oh he did not realize how much his words hurt.
the room was filled with silence. you stared at him in disbelief but remained a stoic expression. you were taught better than to be weak before any men. Miguel was no exception. your mother would be disappointed if you let a man win.
âwowâ you breathed, nodding. âthat was a good speech actually, the longest one Iâve ever heard you talkingâ you tried to sound sarcastic but how you felt and how you sounded failed you.
Miguel was quick to notice this and his features quickly soften. he reached out quickly to hold you.
âcariĂąo iââ
âIâm returning back to my apartment by five. do not fucking look for meâ it was final. the way you said it, how your eyes remained empty as you spoke to him. Miguel knew better than to test you,
but he just did and now heâs paying the price,
his heart broke when he heard you said that. you were so tired of him and you just wanted him back. you want your man back but he couldnât see how that mattered to you.
âbaby, pleaseââ
you held your hand as you turned around. âdonât you even think about sending Jess or Miles my way.â
with that you walked out of his office without uttering another word. leaving him speechless and heartbroken. he knew better than to follow you out, it would just make things worse. he was just going to let you cool off.
he didnât know how long it was gonna take.
it has been almost a month that you two have been living separately. and heâs losing his mind. he canât sleep, he canât eat, he can barely walk out of the house without seeing all the things that remind him of you. the team even sensed something is wrong because he has been more short tempered than before and it almost made the rest of spider society terrified of talking to him.
heâs gotten more violent, thatâs for sure. every enemy he encountered, he would leave them bleed with their faces unrecognizable. it was his way of taking his stress out. not exactly healthy but itâll do for now.
but he thinks that this has gotten too far. he misses you terribly, your scent, your laugh, your voice, your body, and mostly⌠your pussy
God, the amount of times he sniffed your panties while he jacked off as the image of you clouded his mind was simply not enough.
and now here he stands before your apartment door. dressed nicely in a white buttoned up shirt with his sleeves rolled to the elbows and a pair of black pants. his ring cladded fingers nervously grip around the boquete as the other hand shoved into his pocket.
Miguel had never been this nervous before. toeing his shoes and tapping his toes against the floor rapidly. itâs probably already been fifteen minutes that heâs standing like that staring at your door. thinking far too carefully what he wants to say.
he decides itâs now or never as he raises his fist and knock softly against the wooden door, hoping that youâre home.
âcoming!â he hears your voice, his stomach somersaults hearing that after what it felt like a thousand year. âi am so hungry, why are you delivery guys always taking soââ
soon as you open the door, you freeze. definitely not the takeout delivery boy and instead itâs the one person youâve been avoiding for God knows how long.
Miguelâs mouth hangs open slightly as he slowly taking in the sight of the gorgeous woman before him. you put on your favorite lime green night gown that stops just above your knees with a white silky robe, your hair fall down gracefully. natural curls framing your face. eyes glinting under the light, he almost falls to his knees and thank the Lord for your existence.
beauty doesnât even begin to describe how you look tonight.
Miguel realizes how he probably looks like an idiot. clearing his throat to regain his composure as he smiles awkwardly at you. âHi.â
you stare at him as your features then showcase a displeased expression. âwhat are you doing here?â
youâre leaning your body against the doorframe, arms crossed in annoyance. eyes flickering from his face to the flowers heâs holding and back up to his eyes. as much as you hate to see him, you canât help that little feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see the flowers heâs holding.
tulips. your favorite
he takes a one step closer to your frame, breathing out a sigh as he looks down at you. âIâm sorry, mi amor.â
that earns a scoff from you, looking away. âgood start.â
âi was a horrible boyfriend.â he admits, gulping as he sees how sadness and exhaustion taking over your face just like that. âyou donât deserve that. what i said to you that day⌠none of it was true. you were not⌠pathetic, nor were the idea of having breakfast together⌠I appreciate every single thing weâve done together, baby. believe me, por favorâŚâ
a hard stare is the only thing he gets from you. the way your lips form into an angry pout and how your eyes seem to get tired and bored from his confession.
youâre a difficult person to please. he knows that.
âi know that being stress is no excuse of what Iâve done⌠I shouldâveâfuck I shouldâve done better. a month without you was like hell, mi corazon. ay, me sentĂ como si estuviera perdiendo la cabeza.â he sighs in frustration, head shaking as he recalls many sleepless nights. âi love you so so much. i do not want to go through that again ⌠i know that itâs going to take forever to get your trust back and everything, but i swear on my motherâs grave that iââ
âstop talkingâ
he shuts his mouth after that. eyes looking up to you when he realizes youâre talking to him after a prolonged silence thatâs taking over.
seeing how broken he looks almost feels like your heart got plucked. as mean as you are or as much as you wanted to look like you donât care, you canât when it comes to Miguel. you love this man far too much and despite his cold cold persona, thatâs a huge sweetheart underneath.
âyou hurt me, Miguel.â eyes casting down the floor as you try to keep your voice low. âyou threw a desk to my directionâŚâ
he shakes his head at that, resisting the urge to cradle your cheek. âlo siento, mi amor. I didnât meanââ
âyes i know, i heard you.â you sigh, eyes closed momentarily. âyou scared meâ
Miguel feels his heart breaks when he hears how your voice breaks. he carefully lifts his hand to softly palm your cheek, thumb grazing against the skin. he exhales a soft sigh when you arenât pushing him off.
âI didnât mean to do that to you, my love. fuck, Iâve hurt you. i will never forgive myself for that. i was supposed to be the one who protect you and i was being a huge asshole.â
âa cute one thoughâ you pout at him,
he chuckles at that, feeling the tension between you two are finally cutting down. âyouâre too sweet, baby⌠after all i had done to youâ
ânothing compared to how you treated me for the past two and a half years.â you smile sweetly at him, hand wrapping around his wrist. feeling at home once he holds you in his palm. âstill a good man.â
he shakes his head in disagreement. âno, no that doesnât excuse it⌠i was in the wrong.â
you hum in response, looking at the pretty flowers still in his hand. âare those for me?â
he nods with a smile, âyouâre my only woman, no?â
you bite the inside of your cheek as you smile, taking it from his grasp as you sniff the pretty petals. âi love them. thank you.â
he once again goes quiet, taking another step closer. eyes looking down at your glossy lips and he canât take it anymore. he doesnât care if heâs stepping boundaries here. âi miss you, cariĂąo. can i show you just how much?â
his offer sends shiver down your spine, making it impossible for you to stand still. Miguel always knows your sweet spot, how to make your knees feel wobbly without having him to touch you.
you do miss him touching you,
âi have a ballet class to teach tomorrow, papi. Saturday morning class, you remember ?â a pout formed on your lips, yet you still allow him to pull you close to him as he closes the door behind. âplus donât you have work too? i bet Jess needs you.â
Migue nearly growls at you calling him âpapiâ. his jeans growing tight as you look up to him with doe eyes that you know he loves. though sometimes, you donât understand the effect you have on him.
âthat can wait⌠youâre more important to me than anythingâ he whispers, giving your open hand a kiss. large palm coming down to grip your waist, giving it a light squeeze. âdo you want me too?â
you respond with a slow nod, biting back a smile as you interlock your hand with his pulling him inside. his smirk grows wider as he leans over to capture your mouth in his,
âlet me fuck you real good then we can come home, eh mi vida?â he promises against your lips, slipping your soft silky robe off of you before picking you up in bridal style causing to shriek and giggle,
âi wanna hear you scream my name.â
-
part 2?
How I manifested (crazy) physical changes
"I hate how I look! I am so ugly!" - everybody, from time to time
Here we go!
It all started like, a couple of months ago. You see, I used to have the worst self-esteem problems, mostly because of my chubby cheeks and my big, hooked nose. I used to literally avoid looking in the mirror because I started crying. Again, I think you'd be lying if you told me that you never, ever, felt that way. Well, the thing is, I was sick of crying and feeling bad. Back then I didn't have all the knowledge of the law I have now, but I still did it; it was the easiest thing I've ever done.
â˘â˘â˘
So, not wanting to wait another day, I picked up my phone and took pictures of myself â feeling sick just by looking at them. I sent those hideous pictures to my tablet, and I started working (just know, if you haven't got a tablet for digital art, you can just use some random app in your phone or laptop that allows you to modify photos).
Now, let me tell you, what I did was crazy â I was laughing so much while doing it... I took the infamous golden ratio for faces and modified my face in the picture to match it. When I was done, it looked like I just had all the possible plastic surgeries in the world; but then it was time to get creative! â modify everything to your liking; I drew in longer eyelashes, darker eyes, slimmer cheeks, everything I wanted. I repeated the process on my side profile.
â˘â˘â˘
By the time I was done, I looked at the pictures and actually recognised myself. That was really me. The new me. Enough crying, old PĂa, just stare at those photos.
And that's it; I stared at those photos every time I felt "ugly" and, in the end, I walked around and felt like that girl. The new PĂa; the most beautiful girl I've ever seen with my own two eyes. I looked in the mirror every now and then, and I remember thinking to myself:
"What's in there is not true. I am the girl in those photos"
And the 3D has no other choice but to rearrange itself at my own, free will
Remember that the next time a single doubt arises.
have fun and take care!
alexa demie for calvin kleinâs fall 2023 campaign by inez & vinoodh
FREE USE WITH MIGUEL? LIKE ANYWHERE ANYTIME?
a/n: YES NONNIE, ANY--FUCKING--TIME. AND HERES ONE OF THOSE TIMES :^) idk if this is free-use or feral!reader or both. anyway, just enjoy it lol. like every time, this got away from me
special thanks to mona (@whatthefishh) for letting me scream this shit to her over discord + for helping me figure out exactly what 'free use' is lol
cw: smut (18+), free use kink, small very small bit of somnophilia (CAN'T ESCAPE IT), non-explicit oral (m-receiving), afab!reader, mentions of ovulation (+ period) horniness, fingering, cockwarming, fucking w/ multiple orgasms, the same Spanish pet name used over and over, reader is basically a bothersome cat, writer is so all over the place it's confusing.
wc: 2.4k (this was supposed to be a quick thot but wtvr)
---
miguel is a gracious boyfriend, he practically lives to please you. so when you approach him in the middle of the day with nothing but his shirt draped over your figure, he has a hard time rejecting your advances.
sure, he tries, but every time he gives you what he wants.
you're spoiled, really.
miguel works at home as much as possible. he hates having to leave you before the sun rises, walking away from a perfectly cozy bed and wet cunt (đł).
miguel convinces himself that Spider HQ can survive a day or two without him on site. he has several capable Spiders that do most of the heavy lifting for him and LYLA isn't afraid to take charge, sitting her holographic ass in the boss' chair.
he can set up mission plans and keep track of everything from his laptop, and he's always on call if he is needed for anything. the only issue is that working remotely doesn't work when he can't get anything done.
he's trying to go over notes from a meeting that was held earlier this morning.
he was supposed to be there, but you physically wouldn't let him out of bed. he swears you're a Spider yourself with the strength you have when you're especially needy and sleepy.
he smelled it when he woke up in the middle of the night to you mouthing over his boxers, that decadent sweetness that indicates you're ovulating.
you were desperate to get a taste of him, to fill that unbearable emptiness inside of you, whimpering with relief when you finally feel his fingers bury themselves in your hair to push your further against his bulge.
he learned early in your relationship that your insatiable appetite for him increases tenfold during your window of fertility (don't even mention your period). and so does your need for sleep. so he caters to your needs accordingly.
you passed out after convincing him to fuck the heat out of you, to snuff out the fire until your neediness recedes. apparently, the only time you aren't horny is when you're sleeping (though that isn't true... you wake up horny all the time??).
you've been sleeping soundly ever since, utterly exhausted by his thorough support, but he knows that once you wake up, you'll be crying for him again.
he crawled back into bed with you after telling LYLA to take over for the day, but after a few hours of almost suffocating because of the way you curl up on his chest like a cat, he got up to get some coffee and finish some computer work.
as soon as his warmth left you, you fussed. eyes still closed as you whined and moaned for his body. he shushed you, gently smoothing down your bedhead until you settled.
it didn't last for long.
you padded out of bed with bleary eyes, clearly looking for him when you walked into the living room. he offered you a quick "morning, cariĂąo." before focusing back on his computer. he had to limit as much contact with you as possible if he wanted to finish his work.
just a few more pages and a couple of emails, and then he can give you all the attention you need.
his shirt brushes against your thigh like a summer dress as you make your way through the room.
he looked adorable with his loose white long sleeve on and black dad-glasses. his hair is still curly and fluffed, telling you he wasn't planning on leaving you anytime soon.
you shuffle over to the couch, sitting next to him with a sigh.
he doesn't react.
somehow, the minimal recognition that you're there, his adamant refusal to look at you, turns you on as much as it irritates you.
he's really trying his best to be a good boss, hm? trying to resist a temptation that's barely a foot away from him.
it makes you feel dirty and deprived. you blatantly rub your legs together, urging him to look. your gaze washes over his sharp jawline watching as it clenches at your soft coos.
"...baby."
"'m working, amor." his voice is still soft, despite the efforts he's taking to ignore you.
you huff.
"but--"
"not right now."
you scoot closer to him, strategically allowing the hem of his shirt to ride up on your thighs. so he's really going to make you do it...
you tug at his sleeve, taking his arm away from his work (though it doesn't look like he was working on much at all, he's been sitting on that exact page for 5 minutes now).
"not right now, mi vida..." he protests lightly, but he doesn't move away. he's not even trying, you think.
you smirk at his empty words. you can see the way he's looking at you: your messy hair, bare legs, the shadow of his shirt hiding away your most sensitive spot. his breathing grows heavier and so does his stare.
"i have work--" miguel is always so soft and sweet to you, melting in your hand though he has all the power to stop it.
"please, miguel? just one, for me?" his lips part as you place his hand against your bare thigh, slowly dragging it upwards until it meets your center.
he doesn't take his hand away, doesn't even pull back a single inch, instead, he instantly complies, cupping his warm hand over its entirety. he chokes out a low groan. you're not wearing anything underneath.
"ok, i guess if it's only once..." he whispers, already breathy. he's leaning over you, almost on top of you, forcing your legs to spread impossibly wide.
he watches as his finger rubs against your slick center, spreading your wetness until you're glistening for him under the late morning light. he pushes in slowly, so slowly, eyes flicking up to your face to witness the small o your mouth makes as he presses in deeper.
his mouth waters as he fingers you, he wishes he had enough time to go down on you, and taste your slick straight from the source. he knows how much you love it when he fucks you with his tongue and suckles on your clit. but no, he has work to do. he needs to get you off so he can finally focus.
"this what you needed, cariĂąo?" it's all but growled into your space, his voice low and taunting. all you can do is nod with bleary eyes as your hands grip onto his thick bicep for support.
he adds another finger and thrusts them into you quicker, angling them just so his palm can gently nudge at your clit. he can feel you tightening around him already, fluttering with each pass that he makes against your g spot. he presses harder, drinking in your choked gasp and shaking thighs.
you're so wet, spilling over his fingers and dripping against his hand. the noises between you are deafening. a mixture of sopping thrusts, heavy breathing, and quiet mewls fill the still silence of the living room.
he's so good at this, too good at this.
how can he make you fall apart with just his hands, caress every sensitive nerve with a single stroke?
you're at the cusp of euphoria. your body, filled to the brim with pleasure, urges you to let go, to take what you want. but you don't want to. you want to stay at the edge forever with his hands on you, to be at the center of his affections, always just one breath away from transcendence.
you're not ready for him to stop touching you anytime soon, you realize. you still need it and after you'll need it again. you need him.
his glasses start sliding as he looks down at you, dropping until they're barely at the tip of his nose. he's focused, eyes locked on how he fills you again and again.
his fingers speed up, expertly aiming against that special spot inside of you. your hips rise from the couch, needing him as deep as possible. then it all falls apart.
you cry out, back arching and eyes rolling. your body is barely touching the couch under you and it feels like you're being lifted up by unknown forces as you reach your climax. white fills your vision and heat thrums through your limbs. you can't hide your one orgasm from him, it's too intense.
before you could recover, he slips his fingers out of you.
"alright, honey, we're done." he casually sucks your essence off of his fingers before propping his glasses back to the arch of his nose.
"ok, ok, i get it. you're busy." you pant, still pulsing from your high. and...he's already back to work. he wasn't kidding when he said he had stuff to do. "i'll just...be sitting here."
so you watch him get back to work, or you try to. the incessant scrolling, typing, reading, and muttering thoughts that accompany his work is usually enough to put you to sleep. it's an unusual lullaby that's attached to him. one that brings you the comfort of knowing he's near.
but he's hard.
he seems so relaxed, so content to work, but his erection presses so desperately against his sweats, outlined perfectly by the grey fabric.
so how could you not touch him? he clearly needs your help... and if he doesn't, then you need it.
you want to be good, you do, but when he types so effortlessly like that with the fingers that were just stuffed in your cunt, or when he looks over his dad-glasses to look at something like a hot fucking nerd, you can't help it.
it's been, what, 12 minutes? that's enough work for the day in your opinion.
you start slow, hesitantly, watching to make sure he's not looking at you (though he can clearly see you from his peripheral vision). you stand up on the couch right next to him. you're a bit unstable on the squishy cushions so you use his shoulder for support.
he looks over at you, confused as to why you decided to walk all over the furniture like a toddler.
you carefully maneuver over his arms to settle yourself on his lap. you're a koala around him, holding your torso to his, looping your arms around his neck and sharing your shimmering lustful body heat. he grunts when you scoot even closer to him, your bare pussy pressing entirely against his covered cock.
but he ignores it.
he doesn't say anything, barely even moves, and just continues to work. you pout a bit, but let him. you convince yourself that you're content with just sitting here and enjoying his company (despite the large distraction that pulses against your pussy, pressing so sweetly under your needy clit).
you listen to his steady heartbeat and slow breaths, the occasional sound of tapping keys. you nuzzle against the soft shirt that stretches over his chest. you're fine.
it's not like you're leaking all over his sweatpants, leaving a puddle at the apex of the fabric. you're not crying on the inside, so empty and fluttering around nothing. you're fine.
until you arent.
you lazily lift your hips above his, nearly head-butting his chin in the process. his arms lift to help you get settled, hands resting on your waist, as patient as ever.
you reach below you and he stiffens. he wasn't expecting you to--
your hand buries itself under his sweats, delicate fingers brushing over his erection. he breathes out your name when you squeeze him teasingly before pulling him out.
"what did i say?" he grunts, hand swiftly wrapping around your wrist. the words are lost on your ears as you caress the silky steel in your fist. it pulses at your touch. he needs this.
he says your name once more.
"you're working."
"then why are you trying to fuck me?!"
"i'm only going to sit on it." you give him an innocent look. you slowly lower yourself so your dripping center meets his before sliding your glistening lips over his hardness. "won't move or say a thing, promise!"
"cariĂąo..."
"just wanna warm you, baby." you position him right against your entrance. "is that so wrong?" you lower yourself before he can say anything else.
you take him easily with how wet you are, and he fills you perfectly. he sucks in a breath at the feeling then growls out, "don't move."
well, you do move (is anyone surprised). you move a lot. but he moves too. harsher and more competitive. who the hell fucks competitively?
you moan over him, bouncing on his cock eagerly. his hands hold your waist, guiding your movements just how he likes it: fast and hard. his laptop, somewhere on the other side of the couch, is forgotten and probably long dead by now. so much for working at home.
you've cum at least four times already, but who's keeping count (you're not. you're so fucked out, you have to manually breathe now.)
he won't let up anymore. you asked for it and you're getting it.
"do i gotta fuck you to sleep, hm? is that the only way you'll leave me the fuck alone and let me work?"
you only admit now that you're eyes were definitely bigger than your stomach. you're practically drooling as he takes control once again, snapping his hips from under you, harsh and punishing. as if this is a punishment.
he has to carry you back to bed that afternoon. he couldn't just leave you on the couch, naked and shivering. plus you'd be a distraction with your bruised hips and fucked out cunt.
you murmur adorably in your sleep as your body unconsciously nuzzles further into his arms. he places you lovingly on the bed and you immediately curl up. he sighs, brushing your hair out of your face because he knows how much you hate it when it gets in your eyes or tickles at your nose during the night.
you look so cozy and comfortable. but so alone in this huge bed.
he debates laying down with you, only until you're in a deeper sleep.
maybe just a few minutes?
LYLA had a few choice words when he woke up in the morning....