raiden should bring back the vision hunt decree because ororon (and dori) are ruining the bad bitch electro line up
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ Internet Cafe Love ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
synopsis: The white haired boy who regularly visits the same internet cafe as you becomes your boyfriend but can your relationship survive when his best friend seems distrustful of you?
warnings: 7,915 words (long one shot with multiple settings),Nagi X female reader, gamer Nagi, per fluff no smut since it is written while he attends high school still.
You had often noticed the white haired boy at the internet cafe as he seemed to go nearly every night the way you did.
While you also brought projects and subjects to study on the side when you were taking a break, you noticed he never took breaks, the clicking of the keyboard and mouse were constant companions. This had led to you bringing your own noise canceling headphones that were much more soundproof than the gamer ones that came with the PC set at the cafe.
That was your current situation, headphones in practicing a new writing style of kanji when you felt a light tapping on your headphones. You glanced up and towering over you was the white haired boy. He wore an oversized gray sweatshirt and black sweatpants. You moved your headphones around your neck.
“Did you need something?” You asked, meeting his gray eyes.
“Do you have any money?” He asked straightforwardly.
“Money? What for?” You asked, looking him up and down again. He didn’t seem in need based on his lounge outfit and you now noticed the light up rainbow keyboard he had under his arm. It had gone unnoticed before since his tall domineering figure was the main spectacle.
“Lemon tea. I wanna buy one from the vending machine but I’m low on money because I spent it all on this and the gacha games on my phone,” he said motioning to the keyboard.
You raised a brow at not only his abruptness but also his poor money management. You had some cash on you but weren’t too keen on giving it up since you planned on getting food at your favorite food stand after you left the cafe.
“Well I don’t have any money,” you said.
“Bummer,” he replied, not sounding convinced as he plopped down in the spot next to you and began removing the default keyboard and setting his own up to the PC.
You bit the inside of your cheek, chewing on it a little to hide your annoyance. Now he was gonna be right next to you making all this noise.
“Do you really have to sit here?” You asked.
He looked over at you as the PC booted up, his gray eyes seeming slightly hurt.
“Is that a problem?” He asked. The way he asked made you feel guilty. Yes he was a bit eccentric and odd but so far he was harmless.
“No it’s fine,” you said. By now your kanji was forgotten and you watched as he opened a first person shooter game and signed into his account.
“God of soccer?” You teased regarding his gamertag.
“Oh yeah I’m on the soccer team at Hakuho High School,” he said.
This guy went to the elite prep school? He didn’t seem like the type. You yourself were in the neighboring public school.
“I wasn’t aware Hakuho had a team,” you stated as he loaded into a game.
“My friend Reo and I started the club up so we’d have a team to go to nationals.” His focus was now on his game however as he had chosen a sniper character. You watched as he hit every headshot. He was eerily good at the game and you didn’t miss how match chat came up with the enemy team accusing him of using aimbot. When his team won the game he exited the queue and remained on the menu and looked over at you as he had been aware you were watching the whole time.
“You’re really good, how long have you played that game?” You asked.
“Just a few months now,” he said, shrugging.
“And you aim that good already?” You asked in disbelief. You weren’t half bad yourself and had always considered your aim to be impressive but his was godly.
“I grew up playing first person shooter games,” he said as if it was no big deal. He glanced at your notepad before adding, “what’s with the studying?”
You blushed.
“I alternate between studying and gaming,” you answered his question.
“No, I mean I see you studying here all the time even when it’s not exam season,” he said. So he had noticed you before as well? That was to be expected as you were both regulars.
“I just like to study consistently,” you replied. He made a face and you added, “you don’t? You go to Hakuho, surely that’s more rigorous than my public school.”
“Well sure but I just study a few days before the exams. Hey, are you sure you don’t have any money? I could really use that lemon tea.”
His delivery made you wanna laugh. He was easy going and charming all without meaning to be and yet he was still odd, you hadn’t ever met anyone like him before.
“I'm still thinking about it. Do you have a name or is it just god of soccer?” You asked.
He chuckled.
“My name is Seishiro Nagi. What’s yours?”
“Y/N Y/LN,” you replied, telling him your first and last name as well.
“Nice,” he replied, “you wanna play some games?”
The two of you were duos on the same team with him playing the sniper character again and you his support offering him both damage boosts and heals. Between both of your combined skills and efforts the two of you went on an eight game win streak.
An hour of gaming had gone by even though it didn’t feel like it and the two of you decided to call it quits.
“So Y/N,” he started.
“No about the lemon tea,” you joked. He shook his head.
“Forget about that. I have a home game tomorrow at my school in the evening. The match starts at two. You should come,” he said. You noticed the slight pinking of his ears when he said it.
“I’ll try to go,” you said. You did enjoy playing with him even though originally you had felt slightly annoyed by his presence.
“You should, our school’s marching band is gonna be there too for the first time,” he said. He finished unplugging his keyboard and putting the original one back and stood up. He scrolled through his phone quickly before adding, “will you be back online tonight? Maybe we could play some more too.”
You felt your heart somersault at how he sounded hopeful.
“I may but I’m not sure I don’t usually play late.”
“Bummer. Hey Y/N?”
You prepared to be asked about the damn lemon tea again.
“What?”
“Do you have a boyfriend?” He asked shyly.
“No I don’t.”
“Good keep it that way. I’ll see you online tonight,” he said quickly before waving bye and taking off.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You were back home in your room that night freshly showered and sitting on your bed getting ready to settle in for the night and watch TV.
You heard a notification from your PC and received the notification on your phone as well through the gaming app.
It was Nagi using the whisper feature where you could message online friends direct messages.
GodOfSoccer: get on
You smiled at his eagerness.
SleepyKoala: Kinda don’t want to I’m tired
GodOfSoccer: don’t care I wanna play with you
SleepyKoala: Nagi we played so much today
GodOfSoccer: true well are you coming to my game tomorrow?
SleepyKoala: Yes
GodOfSoccer: WOHOO LETS GOOO
GodOfSoccer: forgot to say earlier cute gamertag
SleepyKoala: Thanks :)
GodOfSoccer: give me your number
You did and not even a minute went by before you got a message from him. It was a plushie of a koala on his desk next to his PC monitor. You also caught a view of the rainbow keyboard from earlier. You created a contact ID for him and added a koala emoji to the end of his name.
You: Cute plushie
Nagi: he says thank you. I’m gonna game a bit I’ll see you tomorrow
You: see you
You then settled at last to watch more of the Netflix show you were currently binging until you lulled to sleep.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
The next morning you woke up at noon having slept in later than you would have liked. After doing your morning routine and eating, you made your way to the supermarket to buy a lemon tea for Nagi.
You hadn’t been able to ignore the butterflies that you had gotten thinking about him. You had checked his online status and had noticed he had stayed up until one in the morning gaming.
Supermarket mission successful, you began to make your way to Nagi’s high school. You had timed your schedule perfectly so the metro would arrive at 1:30 giving you enough time to head to the stadium before the game started. Your outfit of choice was casual with a tote bag to hold the lemon tea and your noise canceling headphones though you doubted you’d need them.
Arriving at the school on time you couldn’t help but notice how much more expensive everything seemed. You knew it was an elite academy but as you followed the crowd into the stadium you noticed just how much the school invested into its extracurriculars.
“Y/N!”
You turned around and there was Nagi coming up to you.
“Hey Nagi,” you replied feeling slightly shy from your flirtatious exchanges with him.
“You like the stadium? Reo’s dad is this mega rich guy and he donated the funds and manpower to build it. He doesn’t care for soccer but he frequently donates funds to the school for them to use for whatever purpose they’d like.”
You nodded. He looked handsome in his soccer uniform, the black jersey, shorts and black socks contrasting against his white hair and skin.
“Oh before I forget, since you kept asking yesterday,” you said, taking the tea bottle out of the tote bag and giving it to him. That made him laugh in glee.
“Thanks for this,” he said gratefully.
“Nagi! We need to warm up!” A purple haired figure shouted as he ran over. When he caught up to where the two of you were his equally purple eyes were distrustful of you.
“Reo. This is Y/N. Remember I told you about her?” Nagi said.
So this was Reo? His suspicious eyes took you all in.
“Yeah I remember. Nice to meet you,” he said but his words didn’t match his tone or expression.
“Nice to meet you too. Nagi’s talked a lot about you as well,” you said and you noticed that did soften his eyes a bit if not fully.
Nagi seemed oblivious.
“Y/N, if you sit there you’ll have a good view of me,” he said pointing to a specific section before continuing, “and I want you to look at me not any of these other guys.”
His words sent a jolt of heat between your legs and to your face but you simply nodded and assured him you’d be watching him.
“Nagi,” Reo scolded impatiently, “we have to warm up.”
“Alright alright,” he said following him but yelling back to you, “stay after. Text me if you can’t find me.”
You headed to the section he had designated would have the best view of him.
Throughout the game Nagi had lived up to his gamertag. He truly was a god of soccer. He was lightning bolt fast his legs moved just as fast as you had seen his fingers were capable on the keyboard.
He also worked incredibly well with Reo. They were a dynamic duo on the field and the passes between them were strategic.
When Nagi had scored a goal he had looked directly at you and pointed, unmistakably claiming it had been for you.
His team was in the lead right now and you hoped it would remain that way.
During the halfway break, you waited eagerly waiting to see him again. When they came back his eyes searched for you instantly and met yours sending you a sweet smile. As expected his team won and you cheered happily for him. As others started leaving the stadium you waited for him afterwards like he had asked you to.
You didn’t have to wait longer than ten minutes. He was racing towards you, changed clothes, freshly showered and his gym bag over his shoulder. To your dismay you noticed Reo tagging along behind. It’s not that you didn’t like him, you just didn’t understand his scowls and distrustful attitude toward you.
“Y/N! Did you like the game?” He asked, standing in front of the railing of the seat you had remained at.
“I did. It was so great seeing you score,” you said.
“I wanted to score for you,” he said, his cheeks turning pink. “Hey Reo and I are gonna go get something to eat. Do you wanna come?”
Your eyes dashed to Reo a second after Nagi asked the question and you could tell he was exasperated.
“That’s okay I think I’m just gonna head home,” you said softly.
Of course you wanted to spend time with Nagi but you couldn’t risk Reo disliking you even more after all he is Nagi’s best friend his opinion must count for something.
Nagi, still oblivious to all this, furrowed his brows in confusion.
“Okay. Well when can I see you again?” He asked. He seemed hurt that you weren’t coming.
“I’m free tomorrow. Maybe text me later and we can come up with something,” you offered, not feeling comfortable under Reo’s purple gaze.
“Okay I will. Thanks for coming, it really means a lot,” he said, giving you a sideways hug now as you stepped down from the bench you had been sitting at. He towered over you and he smelled incredibly good.
“You’re welcome. I enjoyed every minute of it.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“So how long have you and Reo known each other?” You asked as you took another mouthful of ramen. When you had gone home yesterday you had gotten caught up on school work and chores. Nagi had texted you at night and asked if you wanted to play some games to which you had agreed. Somewhere between steam rolling the enemy teams and playing silly custom games in the arcade he had suggested going out for ramen and boba the next night.
Now as the two of you sat in the restaurant’s outdoor patio seating with red paper lanterns illuminating the night sky you were interested in knowing more about his best friend who didn’t seem to take to you.
“Not too long. I met him here at school probably six months ago,” he replied.
“He seems very fond of you,” you said.
Nagi shrugged.
“Reo got me into soccer and I have him to thank for that. Before him no one really talked to me at school.”
This surprised you. He was good looking and charming, sure a bit strange and had his quirks but he was friendly and good company.
“Really? Not even girls?” You teased.
“Especially girls,” he joked back. His gray eyes were looking at you softly. It gave your stomach butterflies. Lately it seemed like all he did was either give you butterflies or make you belly laugh. His hand reached out to lift your chin up so you were forced to meet his gray gaze head on.
“You always look away from me when you notice me looking at you. You never look at me for too long,” he said in a gentle tone.
“I don’t mean to on purpose,” you said trying to be casual although the thumping of your heart was a great contrast to the calm you were trying to portray.
“I like when you look at me and when you watch me play video games and soccer,” he said, inching closer to bridge the gap between the two of you as you sat on opposite ends of the table.
Was he going to kiss you? It seemed like that was his intention. You wanted to kiss him but worry and concern and feeling Reo’s stinging rejection you pulled your chin from his hand and looked away. When you glanced back at him he wasn’t looking at you for once but looking down at his lap with clear hurt in his eyes.
“I thought you liked me too,” he said with embarrassment coloring his voice. You couldn’t take him thinking you were rejecting him, not when he was perfect and sweet and everything you could ever want.
“I do like you!” You said.
“Then why won’t you let me kiss you? I want to so badly,” he asked in desperation.
“Reo-“ you started but he didn’t let you finish.
“Oh,” he said, sounding deflated, “do you like him or something?” It was obvious he was trying to sound nonchalant but jealousy threatened to burst through.
“No no I don’t. I mean I don’t dislike him. He’s your best friend so I don’t have anything against him. I just don’t like him in the way I like you,” you stammered. His response had thrown you off completely because it was the last thing you had expected him to say.
“You don’t like him? Lots of girls do because his dad is that rich guy and girls think Reo is good looking,” Nagi said.
“No, I don't see him that way. I like you,” you said, face flushing at your confession.
“I’m confused. What does Reo have to do with you not letting me kiss you then?”
“It’s just. Reo doesn’t seem to like me. He looks at me as if he’s distrustful and suspicious,” you said.
Nagi instantly relaxed and laughed.
“Oh that’s just how he is. He’s very overprotective of me. It’s nothing personal he’ll grow out of it once you’re around more,” he said.
While Nagi’s words assured you, you still found the whole bit a little odd but maybe that was just their friendship. Maybe Reo saw Nagi as a brother he looked out for. You decided to focus on the latter part of his sentence.
“Once I’m around more?”
At this he reached out across the table taking your hands in his.
“You know how I asked you if you have a boyfriend?” He asked playfully.
“Yes it wasn’t that long ago Nagi,” you replied.
“Well I want to be your boyfriend,” he said. He looked at you from under his long eyelashes, his gray eyes so sweet and vulnerable.
“Well I don’t know this guy at the internet cafe told me to not go getting a boyfriend,” you teased.
“What a little prick he probably wants you for himself,” he went along with your joke.
The two of you laughed before he spoke again,
“Can I be your boyfriend? I promise to be good.”
“Yes you can be Nagi,” you replied.
“Awesome. Can I kiss you now?” He asked practically whining.
“Yes Nagi,” you laughed but your lips were soon overtaken by his. The kiss was sweet and made your head spin.
You wondered if this is what it meant to be on cloud nine.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Your routine for the past few weeks had become Nagi centered.
You continued to go to the internet cafe regularly. In fact that’s where you spent the most time with Nagi since you still went to different schools. You would go watch him practice and go to his games, he had even given you one of his jerseys to wear and he was strict about you wearing it to each match. You’d stay up on video chat with him as well and watch as he streamed his games for you when you were too tired to play with him yourself.
As for Reo, there wasn’t any progress to be made there as the two of you were still virtually strangers but at least his scowling had toned down.
“I wanna see you more often,” Nagi said, his lips kissing the top of your hair as you hugged him bye at the end of practice.
“We see each other nearly everyday, Nagi,” you laughed. However he did have a point since the majority of the day you were at different schools you only saw him in the evenings at the internet cafe, at his practice, or when he had games on the weekends. You were also busy studying a lot of the time as well and still not feeling comfortable enough to hang out with him and Reo who was often around.
“Why don’t you stay over this weekend?” He asked but was trying to hide the shyness he felt from asking.
“You mean like at your dorm?” You asked.
“Yeah, why not?” He shrugged.
You thought about it, you were so comfortable with him you didn’t have any objections and most of all Reo wouldn’t be there.
“Sounds like a plan.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“This is Choki,” Nagi said, motioning to a little cactus in a pot on his desk. You had your travel bag with you around your shoulder and had taken the metro to go to Nagi’s dorm in the late evening.
He had met you at the stop and walked you back to his room.
“It’s very cute,” you said. He was eye level with the cactus smiling at it.
“He is very cute not it,” he replied defensively.
“Yes he is cute,” you corrected, continuing to look around his room.
For a dorm room it was quite spacious but that was to be expected of the elite school. His bed was made and neat with a plush dinosaur throw blanket folded neatly on the comforter. He had a television in his room on a stand next to his desk where his PC was. His PC setup consisted of the rainbow keyboard and the koala plush and Choki next to it, and a gaming chair. He also had a mini fridge with a magnet holding up a photo of Reo and him that was taken on a Polaroid camera. Towards the entrance of the room there was a sink and mirror and the toilet was secluded in a cupboard-like closet separate from the full walk-in closet that held his clothes. The room was illuminated blue from the LED lights he had.
“What do you think of my room?” He asked tentatively as he watched you inspect the place.
“I like it. It seems very comfortable and clean,” you replied.
He let out a sigh of relief.
“Good because I cleaned it before you came over. I’m not a slob or anything but I can get disorganized because I procrastinate,” he explained.
You nodded but felt yourself blushing as now the full prospect of being alone with him was setting in.
“You wanna watch a movie?” He asked.
“Sure,” you replied.
He grabbed the remote and laid back on his bed, kicking off his shoes while doing so.
“You can lay down you know,” he teased watching as you stood there. You followed his lead and also took off your shoes, dropping your overnight bag on the floor and laid down next to him. Gently he brought you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your hair. He flicked through movies on the streaming service.
“Do you have a preference?” He asked.
“We can watch whatever,” you replied. He chuckled.
“You’re not helping here,” he teased but then settled on an animated movie about animals. He started the film and then put the remote down, his arms still holding and caressing you.
“Is this okay? I want you to be comfortable with me,” he asked. You could hear the vulnerability in his question however and knew that it would hurt him if you didn’t want him to touch you. Fortunately, you did enjoy his comfort and warmth. He felt like a bear hug.
“It’s okay I’m comfortable like this,” you assured him.
You watched the movie intently but your heart still pounded in excitement from his closeness and you wondered if he could hear it.
He watched the movie as well, occasionally peppering kisses into your hair or chuckling when he found something funny. It was peaceful and not awkward in the slightest. You enjoyed this comfort only Nagi could bring. If it were any other guy you’d worry about his intentions but when Nagi said watch a movie and spend time with you he meant it, not trying anything else besides cuddling.
Towards the end of the movie you heard slight snoring and looking up you saw Nagi had fallen asleep. He looked more boyish when sleeping. You watched the rest of the movie and when it finished you turned the tv off. Nagi was still fast asleep but you didn’t mind, taking it as a sign that he felt comfortable around you. Ever so carefully you moved out of his arms and went to brush your teeth using his sink. You then used his walk in closet to change into your oversized tee and shorts for sleeping. When you came back you saw Nagi blinking in confusion from having woken up.
“I thought you left,” he said sadly.
“No Nagi, I was just changing. You fell asleep towards the end of the movie.”
“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” he rushed to get his words out but you were quick to assure him.
“It’s okay, I thought it was sweet. I didn’t wanna wake you but I already brushed up for bed.”
He looked you up and down in your pajamas and his eyes softened. He repositioned himself so he was now laying in the bed underneath the sheets and blankets.
“Come snuggle with me. It felt so good having you in my arms.”
You obeyed his words and got into bed with him facing towards him. His eyes looked at you lovingly.
“I love having you here. I got up early today to clean my room and make sure everything was perfect. That’s partly why I fell asleep but most of it was because of you. Cuddling you and smelling the nice scent of your hair was so relaxing.”
His way of declaring loving and saying things so openly with his childlike innocence was so endearing to you. Other guys were much more guarded and wouldn’t admit such things out of fear of vulnerability but Nagi just said what he always thought.
“I love being here with you Nagi, you make me feel so safe,” you replied truthfully.
He pouted a little.
“You know you can call me baby or honey or anything you want,” he said.
“Okay baby,” you said, giggling a bit. It was still new and felt a little strange coming out of your mouth.
“Hey what’s funny?” He asked before adding: “you’re my baby and I’m yours and that’s that.” He pulled you closer to him as you laughed.
“You’re right baby, you’re so needy,” you joked.
He pouted again but it didn’t last long because he kissed you nice long and slow. He tasted so good like mint and just Nagi, his ocean breeze scent intermingling with the kiss. Your hands felt his soft white hair as you kissed and he moaned a little into your mouth.
When your kiss broke you gazed at each other.
“You mean everything to me,” he said, cupping your cheek. You curled up closer in his arms so he could snuggle you again how he had loved.
“You mean so much to me too,” you told him. He yawned.
“I wanna sleep with you again, it felt so good. This feels so good, but don’t get any ideas. I brushed my teeth before you got here,” he said.
That made you belly laugh and swat him a little in laughter.
“What? It's true I always brush my teeth right before I see you. I want you to like me,” he said innocently.
“I do like you,” you said. In fact you were starting to think you more than liked him and as you both dozed off to sleep you heard him say the words you had been thinking out loud and it was the last thing you heard before being overtaken by sleep.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“I’ll be here waiting,” you told Nagi as he ran off towards the locker rooms to change for practice.
This morning you had woken up completely entangled and cuddled into him. His long legs had interlaced yours and after very prolonged kisses and cuddles you had gone out for miso soup for breakfast at a little restaurant nearby then returned to the high school campus for his practice.
“I was almost starting to think he wasn’t gonna show up,” a voice said behind you. You turned around and Reo was standing behind you on the field already dressed in his uniform for practice.
“Reo, where did you come from?” You asked wondering how the two of you hadn’t noticed him on the way in.
He ignored your question and you felt small under his violet intense eyes.
“You know Nagi is never late for practice. He’s usually here early with me,” he said in an accusatory tone.
“Yeah sorry about that it’s just-“ you stammered but he cut you off.
“It’s just you were with Nagi last night and because of that he was thrown off routine this morning,” he finished for you. By now you felt yourself growing frustrated with him. You didn’t know him and he didn’t make any effort to know you, your only mutual connection was Nagi and he seemed hell bent on disliking you.
“Reo what is your problem with me?” You asked out of genuine curiosity and frustration.
He seemed more than happy to tell you.
“My problem is that ever since you’ve come into Nagi’s life he’s been changing. It all started with him wanting to spend more time at the internet cafe and when he told me it was because of some girl I knew it would become a problem,” he said.
Nagi had been spending more time at the internet cafe not to play games but because he had wanted to see you? He had noticed you before he had even spoken to you and liked you? If it weren’t for this confrontation with Reo now you’d relish in that fact more.
“How is it a problem? We’re not doing anything wrong,” you said in an effort to defend yourself.
“Maybe not, but Nagi isn’t like other guys, surely you’ve noticed that. He wears his heart on his sleeve and he’s a good guy. I don’t need you hurting him when he’s already changing for you,” he said.
“Changing how?” You said not fully understanding.
“He’s more motivated. Before you I had to do everything for him because he thinks everything is a hassle. He showers after every game now because he knows you’re there waiting for him, he cleans his room because he knows you’re coming over, he does those things he normally wouldn’t wanna do because he has you in mind.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” You asked.
Reo’s gaze was still sharp.
“Maybe so but if you hurt him I’m worried he’s gonna be worse than before. Before he was just lazy after you hurt him he’ll just be unmotivated and depressed.”
Your heart hurts at the thought.
“I’m not gonna hurt him,” you said quietly.
Reo didn’t seem convinced.
“You and I both know that’s not how relationships work. Eventually you’ll hurt him and when you do I’ll never forgive you.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
GodOfSoccer: where did you go after practice? I thought you were gonna wait for me but Reo said you left early :(
You saw the whisper message come through the game server as you loaded up the game to play. You had set your status to offline but Nagi was savvy enough to know when you were online.
SleepyKoala: I didn’t feel good
GodOfSoccer: do you need me to come over? i can take care of you
SleepyKoala: No it’s okay
GodOfSoccer: do you wanna play a few games?
SleepyKoala: I think I just wanna play by myself
GodOfSoccer: oh alright
GodOfSoccer: good luck in your games :)
GodOfSoccer went offline
You sighed as you watched him go offline and you knew you had hurt his feelings despite his good natured response. Nagi was never offline and he wasn’t the type to set his status to offline so you knew he was really not gonna play games tonight which didn’t bode well. You didn’t mean to hurt him, it's just you couldn’t get Reo’s words out of your head. He’d never forgive you if you hurt Nagi? You’d never forgive yourself. He was so good and sweet and pure and Reo was right that relationships were messy. Did you really want to be the one to give Nagi his first heartbreak?
You tried to play a few games but it was futile, the game had grown stale without him.
You logged off and crawled into bed. Soon it began to pour outside and it reflected your inner state.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
The next two weeks were exam season so luckily you had an excuse to not be around Nagi as often.
You stopped going to the internet cafe altogether and instead went to your school’s library to study. These days you only saw Nagi at his games and though he was understanding about it because he knew you had to study you could tell he was sad.
The two of you still texted at night but the conversation grew stale as Nagi wasn’t always the best texter and from your experience with him you knew that comfortable laid back atmosphere of being at peace with him was something text couldn’t capture. Text was made for talking and it forced this dynamic where it felt as if you always had to come up with something to say and often times the best moments with Nagi were just being able to enjoy each other’s presence.
When you got home from school one afternoon you had noticed a bouquet of flowers waiting for you on the porch table.
You had taken the flowers to your room and put them in a vase with water. You got your phone out to text him.
You: Thanks for the flowers
Nagi: you’re welcome. I know you’ve been working hard studying and I wanted you to have something to brighten up your desk.
Your heart fluttered at his thoughtfulness and again you wondered why you were being so distant. You knew it wasn’t fair to him but what Reo said really got to you. You knew he was only looking out for his best friend but you were worried you were really going to be the one to hurt Nagi.
Nagi: I miss you :(
Nagi: Are you coming to my game tomorrow?
You felt overwhelmed by it all. The flowers, his double texting, and all the while you still felt Reo’s disapproving eyes on you as if he were watching you now. Part of you thought maybe it was better to back out of things early on before they got any deeper. Maybe then Nagi wouldn’t be as hurt. It was that rationale that led to your reply:
You: Sorry I can’t. I have to study now more than ever.
Nagi: oh okay
He didn’t say anything more after that.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
When you woke up the next morning you had ten missed calls from an unsaved number. You also had text messages as well. You unlocked your phone in confusion. The messages read:
It’s Reo, are you awake?
Nagi is hurt he got hurt at the game
He’s been crying for you and wants you here
You instantly called the number back.
“Reo what’s wrong? Where are you guys?” You asked, your panic and worry not giving you time to feel weird about calling him.
“We’re headed to a nearby medcenter clinic that's across the school. You can meet us there,” he said then hung up.
You raced outta bed and got dressed quickly. You didn’t bother to eat breakfast as all you could think about was how you hadn’t been there for Nagi. You were so worried and your heart hurt.
The ride on the metro seemed obnoxiously long despite being the same as always. You anxiously tapped your fingers along your thighs the whole way there.
At last you arrived and headed toward the clinic Reo had described. You felt nervous and shy as a nurse directed you to what room Nagi was in when you asked and told her you were his girlfriend.
In front of his door you hesitated a little bit not knowing what to expect. How hurt was Nagi? Would he be upset with you for not being there for him? The only answers you’d get would be through that door.
You pushed the door open slowly.
Nagi was laying down in bed with his right ankle wrapped in med bandages and an ice pack against it. He perked up instantly when he saw you.
“Hey I knew you’d come,” he said. This wasn’t what you expected. He wasn't upset with you at all.
“Reo said you asked for me,” you said, noticing how the room was devoid of any purple.
“I did. I needed my girl,” he said. His words tugged at your heartstrings as you walked closer to the bed so you were right beside him.
“Where is Reo?” You asked.
“He went to get us some food from the cafeteria and call my parents,” he said. You stroked his hair.
“So how bad is it?” You asked.
“Not too bad it’s just a sprained ankle but it hurt like hell when it happened. It should heal quickly,” he said.
You nodded and stopped stroking his hair.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when it happened,” you said.
He shrugged but you could tell he was a little downcast even if he didn’t say it.
“It’s okay I know you’ve been busy,” he said. There was an awkward tension in the air that you knew was your doing. You were the one that had been distant lately. You just didn’t want to hurt him but it seems like you already were.
“How long are you gonna be here?” You asked.
“Reo wants me to stay for a few days for some reason since he thinks I won’t take care of it but I told him I have you to take care of me,” he said beaming up at you his smile wavered when you didn’t react and added,”you will take care of me won’t you?”
You wished he hadn’t asked that with his begging gray eyes that looked at you with the eagerness of a puppy.
“Nagi I’m just really busy right now, maybe Reo is right,” you said softly. His face fell.
“Why don’t you wanna be around me anymore? Am I doing something wrong? Am I spending too much time on soccer?” He asked.
“No Nagi it’s not like that-“
“Bullshit. I know you have to study but you always did before and we were able to see each other. I’ve tried to be a good boyfriend and spend time with you by letting you stay over. I just don’t know what I did,” his voice almost broke. You reached for his hands but he pulled them away.
“Nagi, you didn’t do anything. I love being with you and spending time with you,” you said. He looked at you again, his eyes ever so stormy and sad.
“Then tell me the truth,” he pleaded.
You swallowed, you'd tell him the truth but you didn’t want to make Reo look bad after all he was his best friend.
“You remember the morning after I slept over and we went to your practice?” You started reluctantly.
“Yes,” he replied, understandably confused.
“Reo started talking to me and saying this stuff about how he’s scared I’ll hurt you. He told me how you’re already changing for me and taking initiative and doing things you normally wouldn’t like: showering after your games and waking up early to clean your room. He’s worried I’ll break your heart and you’ll be unmotivated and depressed.”
There was silence for about a minute after you told him this. He was the first to break it.
“He really told you I didn’t shower after games before you?” He asked.
“I guess he kinda implied it,” you said wondering why he focused so much on that part.
“Well that’s embarrassing,” he said with a wry smile before adding,”you don’t have to worry about hurting me.” He reached for your hand now and brought it up to his lips to kiss softly.
“Why aren’t you more concerned about this? Reo is right. Relationships are messy and people get hurt and I don’t want to hurt you ever,” you said shivering at how his lips felt against your skin.
“Reo is cynical. Yes people get hurt but I don’t wanna close myself off from you just because something may or may not happen.” He kept your hand laced in his and that’s how the two of you stood until Reo himself walked in a few moments later. He had two trays of sandwiches that he set down and seeing the state the two of you were in he asked: “Am I interrupting?”
“No Reo, I actually wanted to talk to you. Why have you been telling my girlfriend that she’s gonna hurt me?” Nagi asked in a conversational tone.
Reo glanced at you before looking back at Nagi.
“Nagi, you know everything I do is to protect you. I don’t want you getting hurt. You know how the girls at school are,” Reo replied.
You didn’t understand this and looked curiously at Nagi but he ignored you.
“She’s not like that, she's nice to me and sweet and I need the two of you to get along otherwise you’re hurting me both,” he said firmly.
At last you and Reo looked at each other, his last words resonating with both of you so there was no malice or ill will in the others eyes.
A nurse interrupted, coming in and saying she was going to change Nagi’s bandages to freshen them up before he left for the night and you and Reo were ushered into the hallway.
“Thanks for coming,” Reo said genuinely once the door closed behind the two of you.
“You’re welcome. I really care about him,” you said.
“Yeah I can see that,” he said, running a hand through his hair that was loose out of its usual ponytail.
“I didn’t mean to snitch on you or anything like that. I only told Nagi because he was asking why I was being so distant,” you said to him. He nodded in understanding.
“No it’s fine I knew something was up when he was bumming around and blue because you weren’t around all of a sudden. It’s my fault,” he said. Now that he wasn’t looking at you with suspicion he seemed friendly and you could see why he got along with Nagi.
“I know you were just trying to protect him since he’s your best friend,” you said.
“Still I shouldn’t have said anything to you like that or in that way. The last thing I wanted was for Nagi to be sad but I seemed to have caused it by you being distant. I've never seen him so down like that before.” His words made you feel guilty, after all you had only distanced yourself in order to not hurt him.
“What did you mean by that comment about girls at your school?” You asked him.
“Girls at school think Nagi is weird. Well, not just the girls but everyone does. He sticks to himself and he’s not concerned with impressing people the way everyone else is,” he said.
You did know Nagi was a bit odd but he was endearing and now you knew why Reo was so protective of him. He was very attractive as well so you had truly thought he was joking when he had said that girls especially don’t talk to him.
“Reo I wanna be able to get along. I don’t wanna stay away from Nagi because I care about him,” you said, deciding to call for a truce.
“Yeah that sounds good to me. I guess I judged you unfairly and like Nagi said he wants us to be able to get along. It’s just always been him and me so I have to get used to it,” he said.
You assured him you didn’t wanna ruin his and Nagi’s friendship and that of course they’d still be able to do the things they’ve always done. When the nurse came out of the room you both went back inside to find Nagi playing games on his phone in his typical fashion.
You and Reo smiled at each other both knowing this was a sign he was recovering.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“I never said thank you,” Nagi said, stopping in his tracks as you both walked in the park.
It had been three weeks since his injury and he had recovered with you by his side. These walks with him had been a form of physical therapy but once he had healed they had stuck around as a routine thing for you two.
“For what?” You asked.
“For accepting being my girlfriend. I had liked you for a long time before I spoke to you and I was always too nervous to do so,” he said. He looked wonderful surrounded by the cherry blossoms of the trail you too were on. It had been his idea to go cherry blossom viewing with you and he had been looking forward to it for weeks even drawing a little blossom on your calendar for this date.
“You’re welcome. Reo had told me about how you had started spending more time at the internet cafe because of me,” you said. A blush the color of the blossoms formed on his cheeks.
“The only downside to you and Reo being friends now is that he tells you all the embarrassing unfiltered things about me,” Nagi said but you could tell it meant a lot to him that you and Reo got along.
In the weeks following Nagi’s injury you had stayed with him at his dorm and took care of him and Reo would come over in the evenings and all three of you would binge watch shows and movies you took turns picking. Of course you and Nagi continued to support Reo by watching him practice and coming to games as well while Nagi was healing.
“I don’t think it’s embarrassing. It’s sweet you like me so much,” you said.
He reached out to cup your face in his hands in the way he was so fond of doing.
“I more than like you,” he said seriously before adding,”I know you were scared of hurting me but the truth is I’m not scared to be hurt if it’s by you. I wanna be with you always.”
Your head was spinning at the way his eyes penetrated into yours.
“I more than like you too,” you said shyly. He looks at you lovingly before leaning in to kiss you.
When he pulls away he looks into your eyes and tells you those three words you had sworn you had heard before you had dozed off to sleep when you had slept over: “I love you.”
This time as he kisses you again even though it feels like it, you know you’re not dreaming.
when you dodge their kisses (bnd) ˚ · .
ot6 reaction , prank , teasing , fluff!! , slight angst , established relationship
rest of the members under the cut!
wc: about >350 per member
a/n: first post omg yay!! >___< reqs r open! ✿
sungho ˚ ⋆。˚
when you jokingly dodge sungho’s incoming kiss to your cheek while you guys are watching a moving on the couch, the entire world stops spinning for a minute. he immediately sits back and blinks at you blankly because huh? you’ve never done that before! if anything, you’re usually the one begging him for more kisses, so now he’s just simply confused.
you’re struggling to keep a poker face as you continue to (pretend to) watch the movie on the screen while sungho stares lasers through the side of your head. his pout his evident, his brows are knit together, and there’s nothing more you’d rather do than kiss him right now, but you have to commit to the bit.
once sungho stops malfunctioning, he leans in for another kiss just to make sure that he’s not hallucinating, but you’re quicker than that. you duck away from his kiss again and sungho literally gasps at your action.
“baby,” he whines, his hand coming to rest on your thigh. “why can’t i kiss you?”
“hm?” you hum absentmindedly, pursing your lips to keep your incoming smile at bay.
“why do you keep moving? let me kiss you,” he huffs, going in for another kiss. you move away again, but this time, you can’t keep in your giggles as he continues to chase you with his lips. “c’mere!”
you jump up from the couch, squealing as sungho chases you with exaggerated smooching noises. you slide on your socks down the hall toward his room, but he’s quick to catch you before you escape, his strong arms wrapping around your waist to pull you into his chest before he starts pecking your cheek relentlessly.
“okay! okay! you win!” you giggle as he squeezes you in his arms, rocking you both from side to side before burying his face in the crook of your neck.
“don’t ever do that again. i thought i was gonna die,” he mumbles onto your skin. you turn in his arms to face him, cupping his cheeks with both of your hands. his eyes are sparkling, but you can tell there’s no anger behind them. you give him a little smile and a quick peck on the lips simply for being so cute.
“i won’t…” you start slowly, “if you can catch me!” and you slip out of his arms to run back down the hall, sungho’s half-hearted complaints and laughter ringing through the air.
˚ ⋆。˚ riwoo
you’re at your desk finishing coursework when riwoo comes in softly humming a melody. as routine when it’s finals week, he places your go-to coffee order on the desk next to you and waits for you to tip your head up to give him a thank you kiss, as you usually do. when you don’t make any moves, he leans down to kiss your cheek instead, but you swiftly move away as you continue to type. you hear him make a quiet sound of confusion, but doesn’t say anything else. instead, he simply goes to sit on your bed and waits for you to finish.
he forces himself to assume you’re just locked in on your assignment to avoid overthinking and backs off for a bit. you can tell he’s uneasy though, because his concerned eyes keep flickering over to you every few seconds. you have the passing thought of ending the prank because he seemed a little upset, but you wanted a reaction, a comment, anything.
you get up to join riwoo on your bed after you finish your assignment 45 minutes later. he’s laying down with his eyes closed, his chest slowly rising and falling with each breath. he looks so cute with his brows furrowed in his sleep, so you place a kiss on his forehead before smoothing out his messy hair. his eyes blink open at your touch, a sleepy smile crossing his soft features.
“hey,” he mumbles out as he sits up, voice ridden with a sleepy rasp. “you okay?”
“i’m okay. why?”
riwoo shrugs, opening his arms for you to crawl into. once you’re settled against his chest, he finally continues speaking. “earlier… you dodged my kiss.”
“did i?” you ask, blinking up innocently at him
he hums in response, his expression completely serious. “if you needed space, you could’ve just told me.”
“i know,” you smile, snuggling into his hold. he’s too sweet for his own good. “it was just a prank. i wanted to see how you’d react, but you didn’t react at all!”
“oh. i’m… sorry?” riwoo laughs out, cocking his head at you like a puppy. “should i fall to my knees and beg for a kiss from the love of my life?”
“i wouldn’t mind that…”
“okay then.” riwoo shimmies out of your grasp to kneel on the floor at the end of your bed, his hands folded together tightly as he bats his eyes dramatically at you. you can’t help but laugh at his antics, you heart filling with heavy warmth. “please, please, my sunshine, my angel. may i have a kiss?
“yes, you may,” you giggle, shuffling to the end of your bed to kiss his lips softly, a contented hum leaving his lips now that he finally has your attention.
jaehyun˚ ⋆。˚
“i’m back!” jaehyun calls as he strolls into your room with a bag of snacks from the convenience store. you’re watching a video on your phone and barely look up at him when he walks in. you saw this prank on tiktok and wanted to try it out just to see how he would react.
bad idea.
“i said i’m back,” jaehyun repeats after getting no response. he flops belly first onto your bed and moves to cuddle up at your side. “what’re you watching?”
“just a travel vlog,” you answer nonchalantly. as expected, jaehyun instinctually goes to kiss your forehead while you speak and you quickly move away. you see his body automatically freezes up at your movement, his eyes darting across your face quickly.
“what was that?” he asks with a forced puff of laughter. you shrug and continue to watch your video. jaehyun sits up with glossy eyes, his face completely dumbfounded. you’re never dismissive like this. he feels his heart clench in his chest as you continue to ignore him completely unbothered.
“did i do something?” his voice is a little shaky on the last syllables and you should’ve stopped the prank right then and there, but you don’t realize it in the moment.
“i don’t know,” you reply dryly. you see jaehyun watch your expression for a few more seconds in your peripheral.
“are you upset with me?” you shrug again at his words and that was the final straw. he’s silent next to you for a few seconds and when you finally look up at him, he’s already sniffling, moving off of the bed to leave the room.
“wait, wait!” you quickly drop your phone to chase after him, catching him right before he walks out of the door. “baby, it was a prank! i didn’t mean it. please don’t cry,” you rush out, wrapping your arms around his middle. jaehyun pouts at you, reaching up to wipe at his eyes.
“i’m not crying,” he sniffles, obviously crying. his nose is all red and his eyes are teary. “and that wasn’t funny!”
“i’m sorry. i’m sorry,” you coo, helping him pat his eyes dry before leaning up to give him a big kiss on the lips. he looks absolutely pitiful and even more adorable with his flushed cheeks. you feel bad for even thinking about pranking him in the first place. “my big baby.
he cracks a smile at that, shaking his head as he quietly laughs before pulling you into his hold even tighter. “yeah. i’m your big baby.”
˚ ⋆。˚ taesan
do not start something that you cannot finish. you’re eating at the table when taesan passes by and tries to plant a kiss on your cheek. at the last second, you turn your head away from him, trying to hold in your giggles when he sends a skeptical glare your way. quick-witted as ever, he sees the game you’re trying to play and decides that he can play it better.
“okay,” he says simply before continuing on with whatever he was doing. at first, you’re confused. no reaction? at all? really? and after the confusion wears off… the fear creeps in. why is he so calm? this can’t be good. what is he planning?
you find out soon enough when later that night, after the prank is long forgotten, you’re getting ready for bed. taesan is towel drying his hair as he walks into the room and he looks beautiful as ever. like woah… this is really your boyfriend! how can you resist? you quickly hop up from the bed and skip over to him to give him a kiss, but you are too slow.
taesan turns his head away from you to grab something out of the dresser, barely even acknowledging your presence. you step back in shock because there’s no way… you try to kiss his cheek but he steps to the side before your lips reach him. a taste of your own medicine.
“taesan,” you whine, tugging on the back of his shirt. “can i please have a kiss?”
“nope,” he responds, popping the ‘p’ at the end. “no kisses until you apologize.”
he is so stubborn, it’s actually insane. you sigh, hugging him from behind as your bury your face into his shirt.
“‘m sorry,” you mumble into his clothes.
“what was that? i can’t hear you,” he teases. you huff, lifting your head to speak again.
“i’m sorry. it was a prank. i sincerely apologize.”
taesan’s hands come down to pry your arms off of him, spinning around to wrap his arms around you. in the blink of an eye, he tackles you onto the bed before he starts peppering your face with a million kisses. you can’t stop the giggles from leaving your body at the sudden action, your heart swelling in your chest.
“don’t…” *kiss* “do…” *kiss* “that…” *kiss* “ever…” *kiss* “again.” *kiss*
leehan ˚ ⋆。˚
you’re fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror when leehan sneaks up behind you, placing his hands on your hips as he hooks his chin over your shoulder. he doesn’t say anything, simply watching you get ready with a faint smile on his lips.
“you look pretty,” he comments mindlessly before moving to kiss your cheek, but you move to the side before it can land. leehan takes a step back with raised eyebrows, watching your poker face through the mirror.
“whatever i did, i’m sorry and i won’t do it again.” he says the words with no inflection, completely used to your antics. you won’t break character so soon though!
“do you need something?” you ask, leaning closer to put on chapstick. leehan watches you with a mix of amusement and incredulity as you continue to touch up in the mirror.
“yeah. you,” he replies, moving back into your space. he wraps his arms around your torso, his hair tickling your face as he presses his cheek to yours. you pretend to be annoyed at the invasion of personal space (something that does not exist when leehan is in your proximity), and you try to scoot away from him, but leehan clings to you like glue.
“i’ll move if you let me kiss you,” he speaks as he smooshes his cheek against yours. you find yourself giggling at his bargain and the comically serious face he’s putting on in the mirror.
“nuh uh. no kisses,” you say, committing to the act. leehan shrugs, nuzzling his face against yours even more.
“guess we’re stuck together then.”
and he meant it. he hangs off of you like a koala for the next 20 minutes as you attempt to get ready for class, his front glued to your back with every step you take. now, the game has become a matter of pride. you don’t want to let him win, but…
“leehan, i have to use the bathroom.”
“and i’m coming with you.”
“no, you’re not.”
“then let me kiss you,” he sing songs, resting his cheek on your shoulder. at this point, you realize this is a losing game. and you can’t lie—you really want to kiss him too.
you finally turn around to meet his twinkling eyes and cheeky smile. with an overexaggerated huff, you lean in and kiss him gently on the lips. when you pull away, he chases after your lips to kiss you twice more.
“i win,” he smiles brightly when you two part. you roll your eyes fondly, running your hands through his hair.
“whatever,” you mumble through a tiny smile before leaning in to give him the proper kiss he deserves.
˚ ⋆。˚ woonhak
you’re strolling through a nearly empty park with woonhak on a sunny day when he attempts to kiss your cheek. keyword “attempt” because as soon as you jokingly move away from his lips, he literally stops his his tracks to stare at you, his mouth hanging open in shock, eyes as wide as saucers.
“wha- huh- what?” woonhak stutters, completely caught off guard. “why are you…?”
“why am i what?” you cock your head coyly at him, fighting back the smile threatening to escape. woonhak scrunches up his nose at you, trying to read your expression to no avail.
“you… you’re…” he cuts himself off to attempt a kiss at your cheek again, but you quickly move out of the way. “that! see!”
“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you blink. woonhak simply stares at you for a few beats before dropping your intertwined hands. you immediately regret messing with him as grumpiness taking over his entire demeanor, albeit looking incredibly adorable with his pouty face.
“if you don’t want me to kiss you, just say that,” woonhak huffs, crossing his arms defensively before he keeps walking without you by his side. you laugh as you jog after him, holding onto his arm to you snuggle up to his side.
“it was a prank, hakkie! i’m sorry,” you giggle, leaning up to kiss his soft cheek. woonhak is still sulky, turning his head away from you to avoid eye contact. “i’m really sorry! i didn’t mean it!”
“you can’t play with my feelings like that,” he mumbles out, but his red cheeks immediately give his true feelings away.
“i won’t do it again! i love your kisses,” you smile up at him and that was all he needed to hear. the corners of his lips quirk up and he drops his arms to interlace your fingers again. “can i have a kiss now?”
the beam woonhak sends your way could put the sun to shame. he steps in front of you, pulling you in closer to peck your forehead, then your nose, and then both of your cheeks. when he leans back, he taps his own cheeks expectedly with a bold smile.
“my turn,” he says and you gladly reciprocate through giggles and sunshine.
reblogs are greatly appreciated! thank u...<3
masterlist
MIXTAPES.
pairing: idol bf!taesan x gn!reader | genre: idol au, established relationship, fluff, slight angst | w/c: +1k words | warnings: overworking, reader is a college student
You always wished the two of your schedules would align better than this.
Not that you weren’t well aware of the hardships of dating an idol. It wasn’t designed to be easy. Rather, it was anything but easy.
Just when your boyfriend, Taesan, got the day off, it happened to be the day in which you were bombarded with due dates from all your college courses.
So here you were, slouched across your desk, fingers glued to your keyboard, while Taesan was sitting on the edge of your bed offhandedly brainstorming lyrics onto his notes app. You felt guilty for boring him and making him wait, but he insisted that anything was fine as long as the both of you were together. Even if that only entailed being in the same room.
“When do you think you’ll be done?”
It isn’t until then that you notice he’s no longer positioned by your bed and is instead standing directly behind you, hunching to the point where his chin ghosts over the top of your head.
“I’ll be done soon enough! I just have to power through it,” you promise.
Taesan rests his hands on the back of your chair and observes you for a moment as you continue working, gradually losing focus of the words jumbled on the screen before staring off into space.
“Hey, I love you and everything but I get a little self conscious when you’re peering over my shoulder like that. It makes it a little hard to concentrate,” you hesitantly comment, lips curled up slightly to signal that you weren’t really mad or annoyed. You just needed to get things turned in so you could spend actual quality time with your boyfriend.
“Sorry,” he quickly apologizes. He shuffles his feet until he’s leaning against the open door frame. “Do you need anything? Snacks, water…?”
“I’m okay,” you reply dismissively, already back to being immersed in your studies.
Taesan leaves your bedroom to find where he left his bag in your apartment. Spotting it on the couch, he searches through the front compartment until he pulls out what he’s been meaning to give you for weeks now. Headphones, check. Cassette player, check. Mixtape #1, check. Carefully taking the mixtape out of its case and plopping it into the player, Taesan’s face heats up by the sheer embarrassment of gifting this to you. However, he knows that whatever he can do to make you happy will squander his embarrassment any day.
Getting caught up in his busy lifestyle, sometimes it takes him a bit longer to realize just how hard you have it too. You work yourself to the bone yet are so patient and understanding when it comes to him. He wants to be there for you, much more than he physically can be.
When he reenters the room, he sees your lips pursed, eyebrows stitched together by a needle of stress. It’s the kind of expression you make when you’re stuck.
Taesan isn’t sure if he should bother you again but decides that it’s a risk he’s willing to take.
Pressing play and setting the device aside, he tucks your hair behind your ears before placing the headphones right over them. His hands then linger to brush through the strands of your hair, as if your inability to hear has somehow obstructed your other senses too. You let him off the hook this time. The gesture is thankfully more calming than distracting.
“Ah, Oasis, right?” You instantly recognize the voice and melody of the song despite not being able to put your finger on it. “Which album is this again?”
Taesan loves sharing music with you, and it’s a passion of his that you’re glad he’s introduced you to, because it consumes such a big part of his life that you like being a part of as well. Though despite having his favorite songs and artists, he rarely ever shows you the same song twice. It’s always something new.
You also never miss out on supporting his own group’s releases, spending time on the phone just to let him point out the lyrics he wrote or any other insider facts from song to choreography to music video shooting. It’s like a whole other world from how he describes it.
But when he admittedly gets sick of hearing the same songs over and over again in the practice room, he’s listening to the thousands of other songs on his playlist for hours before he goes to sleep. He makes sure to send you one by the end of the night, and he plays it as soon as you’ve seen the text so it’s like you’re there listening to it with him. He also has a collection of vinyls—vinyls that’d be all worn out if he didn’t keep them in such pristine condition—stacked away in his dorm, and even a small bundle of slightly lesser used cassettes, which you’re assuming is what he brought for you today in his portable, faded blue cassette player.
“Oh, it’s not an album actually,” he answers, nervously blurting out the words before he can stumble over them. “It’s a mixtape.”
“For me?” You point to yourself, eyes wide in surprise.
He gives you a shy nod. “It’s nothing, really. Just some songs that remind me of you.”
Songs that remind him of you.
Trying not to reveal how flustered you are by the statement, you swivel your chair away from him and face down at the desk. “Thank you.”
He hums, even though he knows you can’t hear him over the blaring drums and guitars kicking in.
But despite that, you can still sense his gaze on you, so looking over your shoulder, you give him a soft smile and say, “I love you.”
As you turn back around, Taesan is finally able to take his eyes off you, letting himself lie back all the way on your bed with a peaceful sigh.
“Love you,” he whispers to the ceiling, because although you still can’t hear him, the words will always reach you anyway. Whether said or unsaid or sung in song, his love will always reach you.
main masterlist
non!idolsunghoon x olderfem!reader (feat. mark from nct)
“tell me this love is worth the fight”
synopsis: you forgot a special celebration with sunghoon, leading you guys to argue.
warnings/content: written in third pov. angst to fluff! slightly suggestive at the end (but nothing happens). age gap! (sunghoon’s 21, and reader’s 23). cursing! not proofread. sunghoon doubts himself :(
comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)
word count: 3.5k
a/n: message request.
༘˚⋆𐙚。masterlist⋆.✧˚
current song playing: afterglow by taylor swift
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
1:28 ───────|──────────── -2:14
tick. tick. tick.
the clock ran faster within each minute y/n glanced back at it.
a sigh left her throat as she focused back onto her computer — typing in data to keep the files updated.
the girl worked an office job in her early twenties. it wasn’t as ideal, but for a paid internship, she had to take it.
months had passed since she started the job, and whispers of a promising position had been hinted each day she walked in.
and since then, y/n’s attempted to keep her score of being a trusting employee on a streak by staying past office hours.
she was a workaholic, if you will.
but who could blame her? the pay was good, and the work was her field of interest.
however, today was not one of those days she was willing to stay late for.
it couldn’t.
today marked her 1000 day anniversary with her boyfriend, park sunghoon.
her lovely, patient boyfriend who was younger than her by two years. the boy was in his early twenties, barely getting the hang of life with college.
a few significant dates had already been missed with the internship in the way, so she couldn’t possibly miss this one.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
a quick buzz formed in y/n’s pockets, allowing her to take a swift glance at her phone.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ 1000 day celebration with hoonie ੈ♡˳ ࿐ྂ
she groaned out a sigh as she felt a sudden pressure weigh in at her heart.
“just a little longer,” her voice mumbled before staring down at the time.
[ 4:37pm ] — it beamed.
just a few hours left and she’d soon be in sunghoon’s forgiving arms.
“hey y/n,” a deep voice called out to her, snapping the girl out of her guilt-eating thoughts.
she turned to her superior, mark, who was wearing a friendly smile.
“yeah?” she tried to sound cheerful.
“i know you get off soon, but with your hard work noticed, i was wondering if you could help out with a little more paper work?” he uttered with puppy eyes. “it’s just.. the way you file and organize suits how i usually go in on it. would it be okay?”
y/n froze in her tracks, conflicted with her options — leave work as planned for the important date with sunghoon, or further impress the manager for a permanent job.
“it wouldn’t take long, would it?” she chewed her cheek, lips almost bleeding with how much she awaited for an answer.
mark gave a light chuckle. “no, i wouldn’t make you stay too late, y/n. you always do that to yourself.”
the girl awkwardly laughed in return, murmuring empty words of how much effort she was willing to put in for the company before he left her with the paperwork.
her original plan of leaving early from such an exhausting shift had taken a pause as she huffed at the amount of files in front of her.
“shouldn’t take too long..,” she tried to
reassure under her breath.
in seconds, y/n dove into the piles of paperwork — attempting to finish on time.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
[ 6:48pm ]
time was slipping through her fingers and the girl wasn’t even noticing it.
minutes passed within each time she glanced back at the clock, irking her to go quicker.
she had to finish on time, she just had to, at least before 9:30pm.
[ 8:21pm ]
coworkers around were now finishing their shift, leaving their cubicles to clock out for the night — leaving y/n with a few others.
“come on, i’m almost there.” she whispered to herself, sweat nearly dripping down her face with how much work she was powering through.
“good night, y/n!” — a few workers would beam to her, causing her to give a quick wave before going back to her job.
[ 9:18pm ]
the whole building was nearly abandoned now. the only remaining employees were mark, y/n, and about two more workaholics.
she was almost done. almost.
with such little time left, panic began to exude in the girl’s body.
“12 more minutes.. please,” she sighed.
a quick glance to the time was made before she decided to shut down every time displayed in front of her.
it was risky, but looking at the clock would only emit more anxiety to finish.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
soon enough, the filing job had run its course, and y/n was done.
“finally!” she beamed, stretching out every bone in her body.
her tired eyes glanced everywhere for the time before she realized her method of avoidance from earlier.
“did i make it..?” she questioned, but with every nervous breath she took, it was obvious she had no hope she did.
slowly, the girl lifted her phone to check the time.
[ 10:03pm ]
her fatigued body froze at the bright screen before feeling it defrost with a shiver to the spine.
she felt her breath get heavy as she searched for a message from sunghoon — just anything that may ease the guilty pressure on her heart.
but nothing.
no messages, no calls — nothing.
y/n bit her teeth together, clenching her jaw in regret.
sunghoon had been looking forward to their 1000 day celebration, and she failed him.
a shaky sigh left her throat as her hands fisted in shame.
“hey y/n,” a voice spoke from behind, causing her body to tense.
“oh, hey mark.” she murmured back, mind still flooded with sunghoon.
“you’re still here? i got your files, you’re good to go,” he responded. “by the way, i really appreciate your work here. i hope the ceo considers you here long term.”
y/n sighed in relief as a reply, body taking its final hit of exhaustion from sitting all day.
“you’re a great worker,” mark continued with a polite smile.
a few rewarding compliments remained to run through his mouth, allowing her to get a slight ego boost.
she beamed a smile towards him, truthfully forgetting about how much she had failed sunghoon.
“i hope to see more of this from you soon, y/n. we’re the last here so i gotta lock up.” her superior uttered to her.
the girl nodded her head before gathering her things and leaving for the boy to do as he said.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
the drive home from work was quiet.
y/n was worn out from the constant piles of paper work and to be quite frank, all she wanted was some peace and quiet.
the only thing that ran through her mind was how much mark had sweet talked to her about her work skills.
it was promising to hear all of that, and she couldn’t wait to tell it to her boyfriend — her boyfriend who waited hours for her.
but her energy was still wearing thin. every muscle movement she made in the car caused an aching bruise to form.
so when she arrived home, her hands slowly creaked the door open.
a sigh left her throat as she entered in.
everything was quiet and sunghoon couldn’t be found until she glanced to her left. the boy was sitting on the couch in silence, eyes lost in a daze and face blank with no expression presented.
then it hit her.
her blameworthy actions came back to guilt her once she found her person stiffly sitting down.
y/n took a gulp. she was the older one, but she knew how he was during arguments like these. she knew he was one to stay silent just to keep his emotions together.
“hoonie..?” the girl nervously mumbled, almost a whisper to his ears.
sunghoon only stood with a click to the tongue, jaw firmly clenching as he walked to the kitchen.
the atmosphere was quickly filled with tension in how much he ignored her.
“hoon?” she called out once more, only to get a slight glance back as a response.
the boy continued to gulp down some type of beverage, actively letting her presence go unnoticed.
y/n groaned in return, watching his petty efforts become the consequences of her own actions.
but truth be told, she was tired.
she was working all day, back to back with no break whatsoever and all she wanted was to get some sleep.
“sunghoon,” she sighed. “please, i’m sorry. i’m exhausted and work just kept pulling me back. my superior wanted me to file more before my shift ended and i-“
“work this and work that, that’s all we’re gonna talk about isn’t it?” hoon angrily spat, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. the boy ignored the mention of mark with how pissed he was.
✩ ‘fighting with a true love’ ✩
all y/n could do was pause at his outburst.
“i’m sorry, sunghoon, i’m tired and-“
“and i was waiting for you all day to come home for our celebration.” he cut off once more, teeth biting down to mush away the heart aches.
✩ ‘is boxing with no gloves’ ✩
sunghoon finally turned after softly slamming the drink down onto the counter. his darkened eyes met hers, burning holes before quickly tearing up.
“i know..,” she bit her lips, shutting her eyes to avoid her heart breaking at his gaze. “i’m so sorry, sunghoon, i am. i just couldn’t leave, staying after hours just promised me a permanent position. please understand, this is what i’ve been working for.”
hoon scoffed. “are you in a relationship with me or your work?”
she exasperated a sigh before walking to the living room and slumping down on the couch. almost instantly, her body felt the soft, cushioned seats that welcomed her — allowing her to feel drained again.
“please, hoon, i’m tired-“
“that’s how our arguments always end, doesn’t it? you forget a date of ours, then you come home and you say you’re tired, then we’re fine the next day.” the male ridiculed, walking to the living room as well. “when is this gonna stop, y/n?”
“sunghoon..,”
“no, you’re saying you’re tired but i’m the tired one.”
y/n sighed as she sat up, body becoming depleted of energy. “i’m sorry but this internship is worth everything right now, and i’m doing so well with making an impression.”
“worth everything?” sunghoon reiterated with a shaky tone. “even our relationship?”
✩ ‘chemistry till it blows up, till there’s no us’ ✩
“what? no, hoon, that’s not what i meant.”
“is that what our relationship means to you?”
she looked up to his eyes that were inflamed with betrayal. “this job defines my future, sunghoon. this job is what i’ve always wanted, can’t you see that?” a hint of irritation was made present in her voice, showing that her sleep deprivation was irking her to be annoyed.
sunghoon sniffled, quickly wiping away a few tears so his girl wouldn’t feel troublesome. “i see that, y/n, i see it very clearly. i feel like i never see you anymore, in fact. you’re barely here.” his tone was firm, hinting that he was reflecting the energy back.
“this job is for our future too, sunghoon. i’m working to get a good position for financial stability.” y/n uttered, feeling her droopy eyes threaten to close. her mind quickly recalled back to their slight age gap as she felt the weigh of carrying it all on her shoulders.
“our future? you really think there’s gonna be a future with us when i never see you anymore?” the boy murmured, fists clenching with every word that left his mouth.
he hated what he was saying, but it was the truth.
however, her heart still dropped when she processed what he had uttered.
“you don’t think there’s a future with us..?” she took a particularly harsh gulp as tears finally streamed down her cheeks.
“you’re never here, y/n. how can there be a relationship if it’s only one person putting effort?” sunghoon responded, tears taking its fall for him as well.
the two stayed quiet.
no more raised voices and no more hushed words.
they both had reasons to be mad at each other, but they couldn’t see the others point.
y/n didn’t know what to say. her reasonings were being constantly repeated, but it seemed like it wasn’t going through his head — same with him.
“hoonie.., i’m sorry that i’m not there a lot but, i.. i’m just trying really hard to impress my superior and it’s-“
“your superior?” his soft voice squeaked. “mark..?”
the girl raised her head to peer up at him, only to find his thick brows slightly scrunched while his lips were molded into a frown.
“yes,” she sighed. “mark.”
“you stayed late on our 1000 day celebration with mark?” he uttered, voice weakening at the thought.
“yes, but mark’s just my superior. he has to be there when i work late.”
sunghoon scoffed, shaking his head with a low chuckle. no words could be formed with how much jealousy was seeping through him.
“sunghoon.”
he turned his body away from hers as a response, jaw tensing with every envy thought that she unintentionally spent their 1000 day celebration with mark.
“park sunghoon,” y/n firmly called, causing him to look at her. “you can not seriously be jealous right now.”
“jealous that he got to have time with you, and i didn’t? ridiculous.” he let a small puff of air slip by his lips before gazing back at her.
at this point, the girl was completely worn out. she wanted silence, and this argument was bringing her to her limit.
“you really can’t be jealous of mark. i’m your girlfriend, he’s a coworker; and i’m only there late because of how hard i’m working to secure this job, to ensure our financial stability.” she repeated, voice slightly raised as her patience wore thin. her body was begging to rest, and she didn’t know how much longer she could take this quarrel.
sunghoon stayed quiet, considering his choice of words before mumbling, “how much does he make?”
they locked eye contact and y/n instantly saw his teary, red eyes that begged for reassurance.
“what?” she softly asked, word almost incoherent with how much her heart shattered at his gaze.
the tall male shamed his head away, tears painting his cheeks more as he reluctantly croaked — “nothing, never mind.”
“hoon-“
she stood, body barely standing on its own,
but her boyfriend walked away with a murmur — “good night.., gorgeous.”
he still said her favorite nickname even through all of this.
before y/n could say more, sunghoon had already disappeared from her sight — walking into their bedroom without another word.
she sighed whilst sitting back down onto the couch. her boyfriend had just built a barricade around his feelings, shutting himself out to push her away and she wasn’t sure on what to do.
✩ ‘i blew things out of proportion now you’re blue’ ✩
but if he needed space, then she was gonna give it.
✩ ‘why’d i have to break what i love so much?’ ✩
so she settled down onto the couch, situating between the extra pillows and blankets kept in the closet to not disturb him any further.
it wasn’t as snug as her bed with her favorite boy, but it’d do for now.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
[ 12:52am ]
y/n was half asleep on the couch now after having dreaded doubts about their argument.
her body faced away from the opening side, giving her no possible way of catching sunghoon if he were to get up for a bathroom run.
she felt cold and stiff without him. nothing would be able to comfort her as much as his embracing warmth could.
the girl softly sniffled, feeling tears well up in her tired eyes while attempting to go to sleep.
as her heart laid heavy with her, sudden feet movements were heard from her opposing side — hinting that her boyfriend had gotten up.
she figured that it was most likely for a quick bathroom break but when she felt his arms suddenly engulf her into his chest, the weighed feeling was relieved of her.
his soft breaths against her neck only acquired the way he couldn’t sleep without her.
“sunghoon?” y/n faintly whispered against him.
“we’re still mad at each other but i just can’t sleep alone tonight,” he hoarsely said back.
a smile curled onto her lips as she turned her body to face him. the boy’s eyes were closed but she could still find traces of tinted red all around.
✩ ‘it’s on your face, and i’m to blame’ ✩
“hoonie.”
✩ ‘i need to say’ ✩
slowly, he fluttered his eyes awake with a quiet sniffle in his nose. he raised his brows ever so slightly as a response, shattering her heart in the process.
she leaned in before placing a soothing kiss on the tip of his nose.
“let’s talk,” y/n uttered, lifting her drowsy body up to sit.
sunghoon softly groaned. “it’s late, baby.” he said in a low, attractive voice.
“i know, but i want us to talk this out so we can go to sleep without any worry.”
she pulled her boyfriend up so he could sit up as well.
he exhaled a heavy sigh of his before letting the quiet atmosphere take over for a second.
“you deserve someone who can provide more,” he broke out, causing her gaze on him to immediately soften. “someone who isn’t just a lost twenty-one year old figuring out life, someone like mark.”
sunghoon felt tears spark at the rim of his eyes once his confession was let out. “you shouldn’t be..,” he paused, throat closing at his reality check. “you shouldn’t be with someone like me. i’m still a college student and.., you just deserve better.”
y/n instantly felt her heart drop with his worried doubt. she let the boy stream down tears so he could cry it out and once he did so, she muttered — “hoon, please look at me..,”
but he avoided her stare, just for a second so he wouldn’t break down again. and when he finally looked at her, she embraced him into her arms.
she wrapped herself tightly around him, hinting that she wouldn’t ever leave like he said.
the male hugged back, arms clinging around her waist as he quietly sobbed a little more.
when y/n pulled away, her hands quickly cupped his cheeks — making him look at her with his eyes that were sparkled from the tears.
“you’re doing enough, sunghoon.” she confirmed with a sniffle. “everything you’re doing is enough. i don’t need or will ever want mark, i like working like this because it gives me motivation, and i love you.”
✩ ‘i’m the one who burned us down’ ✩
her last three words were emphasized before she contently sighed and continued — “i’m sorry that i stayed late on our anniversary. i shouldn’t have because i know this day was important to you too. i’m really sorry.”
✩ ‘but it’s not what i meant, i’m sorry that i hurt you’ ✩
the boy pressed his lips together to form a bread smile. “i’m sorry too, you’re a hard worker and that’s what i love about you. i shouldn’t have said those things earlier.”
y/n wore a half smile, shaking her head afterwards to say, “i know my work schedule is difficult with yours but we’ll make it through this okay? we always do because nonetheless, this is my life and i love that you’re in it.”
the girl placed a sweet and reassuring kiss on his cheek as she said, “you’re my boyfriend and i intend to keep it that way until we hit another chapter.”
✩ ‘i don’t wanna lose, i don’t wanna lose this with you’ ✩
sunghoon’s last tears dropped for the night as he pulled her into a crying kiss.
his lips touched hers and he immediately felt relieved. a quiet groan slipped by his lips in the process, allowing y/n to smile into their kiss.
his hands firmly cupped her cheeks while hers were entangled into his messy hair.
his thick brows were deliciously scrunched together in satisfaction before they both pulled away.
“another chapter, hm? want to start that right now?” the boy teased with a grin.
“sunghoon!” she shouted back, allowing her boyfriend to chortle out laughter.
“i’m kidding!” he flashed a wide smile at her before murmuring, “i’m tired anyway.”
y/n playfully rolled her eyes before smacking his arm. “sure.., let’s just go to sleep.”
she dragged sunghoon to their bedroom, slumping her body down immediately after.
the male giggled and laid down on his side, pulling her into his chest like he always did. her hands gently rested on him as he placed chaste kisses on her forehead.
“good night, pretty girl.”
“good night, baby.”
✩ ‘meet me in the afterglow’ ✩
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
pairing: campus crush! zhang hao x reader
genre: fluff
word count: 3409
warnings: minor swearing probably? lowercase intended, not proofread
prompts: 4. "what do you want?" "you" 5. "i want to help you, so please, let me." 11. "is that my sweater?"
notes: combined a hao prompt request (i changed the phrasing of 4 a little bit IMSORRY) with a campus crush! hao request and came up with this,,, honestly longer than i was expecting and somehow shorter than i wanted it to be ?? idk.. anyways geology major! hao you are dear to me (i want him so bad i'm clawing at the walls of my enclosure) hope you all enjoy <3
college was stressful. you knew it would be, it had to be expected. but what you didn’t expect was that the hardest part wasn’t the coursework or the seemingly constant stack of homework sprawled across your desk; it was actually paying attention in your classes.
how were you supposed to focus on mantle convection when three rows down was arguably the prettiest boy you had ever seen in your whole life. zhang hao.
you only had a few classes together, but coincidentally, due to your wandering eyes those happened to be the classes you were falling behind in. and he was to blame.
truth be told, it seemed everyone had some sort of campus crush on the boy; between the way he dressed and carried himself and the way he always managed to be at the top of every class, just about everyone either wanted to be him or be with him. and you couldn’t blame them in the slightest.
zhang hao was someone to admire from afar; across the lecture hall or the path between buildings. so when he ended up in a study group you had joined in an attempt to graduate with a respectable grade, you were dumbfounded, what was someone like him doing in a study group for a class he was passing with flying colours? maybe it was charity work, you convinced yourself.
the study group was only so effective for you, with zhang hao in the group you couldn’t focus, yet again. it was too hard to not notice the way he fidgeted with the pen in his hand or the way he doodled small animals in the corners of the paper. or the way he leaned over a fellow classmate as he helped them with a particularly complicated question in the textbook.
you were doomed.
——
after a few weeks of no progress, you were just about to give up. maybe i’ll just drop out and work at a department store or something. you told yourself as you crouched down outside the library you all studied in.
sure, you were being a little dramatic. but you were one question away from bursting into tears as you walked out of the study group an hour early. the embarrassment of leaving paled in comparison to crying in front of the boy who had been your reason to showing up to class some days.
“are you okay?” the question pulled you out of your pity party, looking up to see the tall male in front of you. he gave you a worried look at your curled up frame leaned against the brick. “i’m just feeling a little stupid,” you tried to laugh, a dry husk of humour pushing past your lips.
the boy didn’t respond right away, opting to crouch beside you as he sat down on the concrete right next to you. if you weren’t so stressed about your academics right now, you probably would’ve been a stuttering mess at the close proximity. maybe you would’ve even noticed the scent of his cologne. but all you could do in that moment was frantically wipe your eyes and attempt to not look as pathetic as you felt.
his eyes softened as he watched your hands rest on top of your knees, “you’re not stupid,” he said, a sweet tone in his voice, comforting even, “it’s a difficult class, everyone has been struggling.” his kind words tugged at your heart more than you’d care to admit.
“but everyone else seems to be getting it eventually.” you sniffled, concentrated on the tears threatening to spill again, “and i just keep slipping further and further behind.” you let out a heavy sigh, “i’m never gonna catch up at this rate.”
you almost forgot the boy was even sitting there, silently listening to your troubles. “shit sorry,” you let out a pitiful laugh, “i didn’t mean to drag you into being my therapist.”
he shook his head, a smile spreading across his face, “it’s okay, i’m glad you told me.” he turned his head towards you, “how about we make a deal?”
you only tilted your head in curiosity, urging him to continue his train of thought.
“you let me tutor you from now until exams. if you pass, then we both win, and if you don’t, then at least you tried your best.”
the offer was sweet, but you couldn’t help but wonder why zhang hao of all people would take time out of his days to tutor you.
“what’s in it for you?” you let a small smile break out across your face, the first in what felt like weeks.
“well,” he pretended to ponder for a moment, “maybe i just want to pass my knowledge onto someone.” you couldn’t help but laugh at the reason as he continued.
“and maybe, this can double as a way to make a new friend, if you’d want.”
sure. “friend” had no real implications of anything beyond a good acquaintance. but you almost choked at the disbelief. the university’s sweetheart, zhang hao wanted to be your friend? the boy you had spent the better part of the last two months trying to tear your eyes off of while your professor droned on about chemical reactions and the composition of rocks.
“are you sure? i don’t wanna take up too much of your time and-“ he cut you off before you could finish. “i wouldn’t offer it if i wasn’t sure,” he smiled gently, “i want to help you, so please, let me.”
you pondered the offer for a moment again. maybe it was the prospect of spending more time with him, or maybe it was just the idea of finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel that was this class, but you had made up your mind.
“deal.” your smile widened as you stuck out a hand, his own coming out to shake yours as he mirrored your expression.
this was going to be interesting.
——
your one on one study sessions had only been going on for a few weeks but you were already starting to grasp the concepts more with zhang hao’s help. “just call me hao.” you recall him insisting on multiple occasions, unaware of the way your brain would try and twist the intimacy behind it. just friends, you had to remind yourself, that was all you two would ever be, and that was honestly more than you ever could have expected.
“hao,” the name rolling off your tongue, “it’s getting late, can’t we wrap this up?” you whined, pouting a little in hopes of getting sympathy from the boy. as smiley as he was, he was also quite the hard-ass when it came to studying.
“one more question and then we can be done for tonight, deal?” he smiled, gesturing to the last practice question from this page. you let out a huff as you mumbled an acceptance of the deal, grabbing your pencil once again as you wrote out the explanation, scouring your brain for the scientific phrases to communicate your thoughts.
zhang hao looked over your final answer with a content hum, his hand coming over to ruffle your hair, “good job, you’re getting the hang of this.”
you stiffened at the contact and praise, you had never really gotten validation like that, especially not from someone like him, and your brain was running with it.
when you originally agreed to this arrangement you hoped that maybe it would be your way to get over your little campus crush on the boy sitting next to you, but it had only gotten worse, and you were slowly losing it. taking a moment to shake the thoughts from your mind, you started gathering your stuff up to leave, as was zhang hao.
“don’t forget you’re stuck with me tomorrow too, y/n!” he chuckled lightly before saying his farewells and leaving first, rushing off to meet up with his friend; you were sure he mentioned his name once before, ricky maybe? something like that.
you only nodded as you waved, grabbing your jacket off the back of the chair and slinging your backpack over your shoulder, but then something caught your eye; a light blue hoodie draped across the back of the back of the chair next to you. zhang hao’s sweater. the boy was already long gone, and based on how often he was sporting the hoodie, you assumed it was one of this favourites, so you couldn’t just leave it here. “i’ll just give it back to him tomorrow.” you mumbled to yourself, picking up the sweater and resting it over your arm.
when you got back to your dorm you folded the sweater nicely on your desk, right in your view so you wouldn’t forget it tomorrow. as much as you tried to ignore it, that night you couldn’t help but notice the warm citrus scent of his cologne, and you swore you could smell it in your dreams that night.
——
the next day was a brisk spring day, the warm air having been replaced by a crisp, almost cold, breeze. to say you had not dressed properly was an understatement, you thought to yourself as you walked across the campus towards the library. in a moment of weakness as you called it, or rather a moment of strong winds, you took it upon yourself to throw the pale blue hoodie over your frame. he wouldn’t mind too much right?
sitting at your usual table in the library, you set up your many papers and textbooks, not paying attention as the boy you had grown close to approached the table, a little out of breath.
“sorry i’m late,” he breathed out, catching his breath after seemingly running here.
“it’s okay, i was early,” you laughed, finally looking up at the boy who’s cheeks were flushed light pink.
you watched as his gaze traced your figure, taking notice of the sweater you were wearing, “is that my sweater?”
now it was your turn to flush a shade of pink, trying to form a sentence as you stuttered through excuses, “oh, i’m sorry,” an awkward laugh escaped your lips, “it’s just you left it here yesterday and so i was bringing it to give back to you but it was colder outside than i thought it was and so i put it on on the way here without really thinking, i can give it back right now,” you barely stopped to take a breath, “or i can go wash it and then give it back if you’d prefer.” your train of thought was stopped by his hand on top of yours, your mind going from a million miles a minute to frozen solid in mere moments.
“it’s okay y/n,” he chuckled at your flushed expression as he sat down next to you, “it looks cute on you anyways.” he said simply, moving his gaze to the textbooks in front of you as he flipped to the pages you were on the day before.
this boy was going to be the death of you.
——
something in the air seemed to change after that day, and it wasn’t just the scent of the blooming cherry blossoms in the breeze. something had changed with you two, and perhaps that was how the two of you ended up in your dorm room rather than the library, and on a saturday of all days.
“what homework have you got for me today teacher zhang hao?” you joked, leaning back on the arms as you sat on the end of your bed, looking at the boy who sat comfortably in your desk chair.
“aren’t i allowed to just hang out with my friend without talking about plate tectonics?” he said, a joking sarcasm lacing his tone.
you only laughed in response as you tried to control your heart beating out of your chest at the simple, friendly, term.
before you knew it, the day had faded into night in a blur of laughter and conversation; real conversation. it was a nice change of pace, and as much as you hated to admit it, the more you got to know him, the more your campus crush had changed into just a genuine crush.
you tried to ignore it, but it was so hard to ignore the comfort you felt being around him, how easy it was to slip into conversations and how easy he made you laugh. how were you supposed to not think about that.
and much to the dismay of your heart, these weekend hangouts had become a sort of routine. on top of seeing him most weeknights at the library, your interactions had spilled into the weekends quite seamlessly. whether it was just having a movie night in your dorm room, wandering campus during sunset, or even just doing normal young adult things like going shopping. the two of you had even gotten into the habit of accompanying each other on errands just to keep the other company.
it was nice, you couldn’t lie, but the domestic activities made it that much harder to separate your romantic and platonic feelings for the boy.
and here you were, awaiting the arrival of the boy on a saturday night. every time your phone lit up you rushed to grab it, just in case it was from hao, the casual name becoming more natural over the weeks.
this time it actually was a message on your screen, you found yourself quickly unlocking your phone to see what it said. “i’m going to stop at the store on my way over,” the text read, “do you want anything?”
before the voice of reason in your head could object, you typed back a quick response, “you.” simple, straight forward, to the point. everything you weren’t. it was already too late to cover up your boldness as you watched the typing bubble appear, in sync with the wave of anxiety and near nausea that washed over you.
“you think you can afford me?” he joked back, rolling with the conversation more smoothly than you ever could have, evidently. you typed back a quick laugh, hoping he wouldn’t see the truth behind your original response, “probably not, maybe i’ll just take some gummy worms.” you replied before nearly throwing your phone across the cramped room.
and to think, you were stuck with him all night.
——
you tried to focus on the movie, you really did, but the all too familiar feeling of wandering eyes and a racing heart took over your senses, and who could blame you? it wasn’t every day you found yourself sharing a blanket with the prettiest and kindest boy you’d ever known. you almost wondered if he could feel the heat radiating from you, or if he would just blame it on the fuzzy blanket covering your legs. you hoped it would be the latter.
soon enough the credits were rolling and you finally pulled yourself from the thoughts spinning around your mind, just in time for hao to turn to you with a smug smile. “you didn’t pay attention to any of that movie, did you?” the question caught you so off guard you actually choked a little on the sharp intake of breath. was it that obvious? you wondered. you really had to work on your expressions it seems.
“what’s on your mind y/n?” the smooth, almost teasing tone in his voice would’ve probably made your knees give out had you not already been sat down in your bed.
you managed to stutter out a response, rather reminiscent of the first real conversation you two had months prior. “oh it’s, uhm,” you quickly tried to come up with a believable excuse, settling on possibly the worst one, “it’s nothing.” the stiff laughter did nothing to help your case as he grinned at you knowingly, hopefully not too knowingly.
“so i’m nothing now?” he feigned offense as his hand came up rather dramatically to his chest. “i thought i meant more to you than that, y/n.” he teased, obviously enjoying watching the gears turn in your brain as you attempted to process the conversation that was happening.
busted.
there was no coming back from it now and you knew it, and more importantly, he knew it. at some point he had picked up on your lingering gaze, your quick glances that you thought had gone unnoticed. all there was left for you to do was either admit your growing feelings, or play dumb about the whole thing. and somehow you decided the latter was the smartest option.
“i, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about.” another forced laugh pushed past your lips, getting past your thumping heart on the way out.
it seemed that your reaction filled zhang hao with a new sense of confidence, because he did the last thing you expected him to do; lean in. not close enough for your lips to graze each other, but close enough to feel his breath on you, to feel the heat radiating off of your faces. close enough to feel the thick tension in the air, but you were sure anyone could feel that if they were here, you could even cut it with a knife.
“i think you know exactly what i’m talking about,” he smiled, your eyes darting down to his lips that were only a couple inches from your own before looking back to his eyes; warm and inviting.
you weren’t sure what to say anymore, and so you made the bold decision to close the gap; only briefly, but long enough to taste the cherry lip balm that coated his lips, to feel the way his lips fit against yours. like tectonic plates.
what started as one chaste kiss turned into 2, and then 3, and then a gentle kiss of yearning, of waiting, accompanied by his soft hands on your cheeks. you couldn’t help but lean into his touch, his soft hands feeling like silk against your burning skin. you could feel him smile into the kiss as your body eased, relaxing into a rhythm. time slowed and suddenly the two of you were the only people in the world, the boy in front of you filling all of your senses. zhang hao. zhang hao. zhang hao. your brain echoed as you pulled away, giddy smiles plastered across both of your faces.
“is that what you were on about?” you smiled, your voice barely above a whisper as your eyes flickered between his lips and his eyes once again.
he let out a small laugh, “what do you think?” he sat back against the wall once again, admiring the way the glow from the tv illuminated your skin, and the way you couldn’t wipe the grin off your face. “i thought you’d never do something about it.” he laughed again, this time grabbing your hand lazily.
“listen,” you started, “i didn’t think you noticed, and i was okay to keep it that way,” you looked down at your interlocked hands, your mind silently replaying the last 5 minutes on a loop, rendering yourself no better than a broken record. “you’re the zhang hao, everyone has at least a bit of a crush on you, so why would i assume i had any chance.”
he shook his head as a proud smile spread across his face, “everyone?” he asked, leaving you to lightly smack his arm, a small yelp coming from the boy. “okay okay, no need to smack me,” he laughed, “but really, you thought you didn’t have a chance? why would i have offered to tutor you if i didn’t have at least a bit of an interest in you?”
you let yourself ponder for a moment, looking back on the now distant memory. “i just thought you were being nice!” you stated matter-of-factly, earning another giggle from the boy, you could get used to that sound, or rather, being the reason behind it.
he merely smiled, pressing another kiss to your lips, “well i’m not nice like this to anyone else, if that helps make it more clear.”
“good,” you mirrored his smile, taking in the beauty that was the boy in front of you, the boy who seemed to fit with you like the tectonic plates.
“because i don’t think i could handle the idea of you spending your wednesday nights talking about rocks with anyone else.”
˚୨୧⋆。🍓˚ darry rings - are limited to one per lifetime, emphasizing that love should be exclusive and irreplaceable. true love verification ensures each customer can only buy one ring.
includes: itoshi sae! x reader. 0.9k wc. fluff hehe
you are unable to believe the outrageous actions of your boyfriend. this time, his doings were diabolical to the point of no return. “get out!”
you push itoshi sae out the door in a fit of frustration. his sigh is so loud, it feels like it’s echoing in your head, only making your irritation worse.
“this is my bedroom,” he deadpans, as if stating the obvious will reverse his sudden eviction. it doesn’t work. you’re already diving into the duvets with a determined scowl.
“what are you even doing?” he asks, his tone tipping into annoyance. he narrows his eyes when you march a little closer and throw his pillow into his arms.
“you’re sleeping on the couch,” you declare, voice firm, matching his now sour expression. “and actually, that pillow is way too nice. hand it back.”
he blinks, baffled, before the "too nice" pillow is snatched away and replaced with a sad, flat one that looks like it’s seen better days.
sae stares at the new pillow and then at you. this is so absurd, so far removed from the usual luxurious facade of his life, that the ever-composed itoshi sae actually laughs.
“you’re forgetting something,” he says suddenly, catching your wrist and pulling you closer.
“sae! let go!” you yelp, squirming in his grasp.
“are you seriously this upset over that cheap ring?” his tone is somewhere between exasperation and amusement, as if he should've expected such a reaction.
“it doesn’t matter if it was cheap; it was mine!” you hit his chest with a fist, glaring up at him. “and you hid it!”
“because i got you a better one,” he says, his eyebrows raising slightly, as if that explains everything.
“well, you could’ve just said that!” you huff, shoving his arm. “i was freaking out, thinking i lost it!”
"why do you even like that ring so much?" sae asks, pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s debating whether this argument is even worth his energy.
"because you gave it to me in high school!" you snap back, arms crossing dramatically. "i've spent more time with that ring than with you!"
he freezes, the weight of your words sinking in. the usual sharpness in his expression softens, and for a moment, he just looks at you—really looks at you. his gaze lingers on you, quiet and heavy with a mixture of guilt and something unspoken.
it's true. he knows it. he knows just how many times he’s failed to be present for you, how many moments he’s missed, how many nights you’ve spent waiting for him to come back—both physically and emotionally. each time, each goodbye felt like he was leaving behind another piece of you. your glassy eyes were all he would remember during those long flights.
but that's exactly why he's been wanting to do this for a while. because, although he might not make it obvious, itoshi sae is more attentive than you think.
he reaches into his pocket. the movement catches your attention, and when he pulls out a small velvet box, your breath hitches.
“is that...” you begin to question, even though the answer is obvious.
he opens the box, revealing a sleek, elegant darry ring. it gleams under the soft light of the bedroom—intricate, expensive, but graceful instead of loud, the kind of thing only sae could choose.
“i didn’t hide your ring to be an ass,” he says, a rare gentleness lacing his tone. his firm hand captures yours and slides the perfectly fitted ring on your designated finger.
"i wanted you to have something better," he brings your jeweled hand to his lips, pressing a warm kiss. "something worthy of you."
"i wanted to sign my name to you."
you blink, your chest tightening, and before you know it, you're rushing forward to throw your arms around him in an impulsive, tight hug.
"you're an idiot, sae!" you voice, sound coming out teary-eyed.
a moment passes without either of you saying anything. he just holds you tighter, as if making up for every moment he couldn’t be there. then, he chuckles softly, a low, soft sound that fills the space between you.
you pull back just enough to frown up at him, your hands resting on his chest. "you're laughing?!"
sae, with that trademark smirk, tilts his head slightly. "do you like it?" his voice teasing but with that edge of sincerity you know so well.
you scoff, still holding on to his shirt, a little stunned. "are you seriously asking me that right now?" you mumble, though your heart is already swelling.
"i love it," you finally smile, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. "i love it, sae."
he leans forward, the tug of his smile remaining. "yeah?" he inches closer, grabbing you, leaving no room for escape. "how much?"
"so much.." you manage to whisper against his lips before he fully dives in for a kiss.
his lips move gently against yours, tasting the words you just spoke, savoring your happiness. it’s soft and tender, and deliberately slow, as he prefers.
when he finally pulls back, you're left breathless, your heart pounding in your chest. you glance up at him, suddenly shy, feeling a soft blush creeping on you.
"you're still sleeping on the couch," you point and smile, face full of mischief.
sae shrugs, his expression slipping into one of playful indifference. “fine. but you’re joining me.”
before you can even protest, he scoops you up effortlessly, your squeals of protest only providing him amusement as he holds you securely in his arms.
"okay, okay! you can sleep on the bed!"
a/n: me ignoring my 1k wc essay to write a 1k wc sae fic 👍🏼
˚୨୧⋆。🍓˚ all you want - itoshi rin.
in which: rin finds out what he is most terrified of.
themes - sfw. not proofread. gender neutral (i believe, lemme know if im wrong). rin is a loser in love so yay. | wc 0.6k
itoshi rin is an intimidating man. his tall silhouette adds to his unapproachable persona, which he embodies with a glued sore expression, almost always looking as if ready for slaughter. (he is)
rin himself has been aware of this fact; it is hard not to be after years of noticing the small mannerisms of nervousness people only tend to carry around him. he feels bad about it sometimes, but, oh well.
with such a demeanor, rin has the confidence to rarely ever think of what might spook him. truthfully, he cannot be blamed either. this man watches horror movies as a hobby, claiming "it's the only media that interests him". forget fictional horror, he isn't even bothered by realistic sights of blood, be it his own or somebody else's; a very small part of the reason why he didn't think twice before swinging at shidou during practice today.
itoshi rin terrifies everyone and is never terrified of anyone.
so why, why is he shaking in his boots right now at the sight of your stern expression?
"rin."
he held his breath, mentally preparing himself to confront the storm ahead.
"you forgot to buy strawberries."
crap. the ingredient had completely slipped his mind.
"sorry," he sighed, in transparent defeat. "i remembered your text after arriving."
"it's okay," you went back to shuffling through drawers like your usual self. except, it wasn't usual to rin. your cheeky smile he adored so much became replaced with a pout today.
no no no—please don't be sad. not over strawberries.
"i'll go back and get them right now," he shuffled in his trouser pockets for his car keys, determined to get you those red little troublemakers.
your hand clutched a flap of his jacket before he got moving. "rin, it's okay. really."
"i'll be back shortly," he glared daggers into your hand restricting him—conflicted if he is in a position to remove any willing touch you provided him at the moment.
he hoped you would just let go—which you did. but now, it wasn't just a hand clinging to him. it was your entire being.
"you don't have to," you hugged him, murmuring sentences with the same look from before.
itoshi rin sighed, his second time today, but this was out of pure endearment. "then stop looking so upset, dumbass."
though his words carried a harsh stream, his tender hands cupping your jaw contradicted all the possible roughness.
"i'm not upset," you claimed. "you're pouting," he swiped a thumb across your slightly fluffed up lips to prove a point you seemed to be missing. "well, i just wanted to make those cupcakes."
the stoic man's heart clutched again at your painfully adorable wish. slowly, he leaned to press his forehead against yours. "so, let me get them."
at his adamancy, you chuckled, a sound that melted away the tension in the room. "baby, you really don't have to go back for strawberries. i can survive a night without them."
"i know you can," he left a quick kiss on your lips. "but, i want you to have everything you want. especially the little things."
perhaps you grew accustomed to his physical affection, but his verbal love still held you captive after all this time. long gone were the sweetly sour fruits from your mind, all it consisted of was itoshi rin.
"what if i want something not so little?" you tip-toed to reach your boyfriend towering over you.
immediately, getting your cue, he grabbed on to your figure, bringing his lips to align with yours passionately.
"can give you that too."
10:30 am.
the next morning, as sunshine spilled through the kitchen windows, you found a crimson surprise awaiting you at the counter. three full containers of strawberries had been neatly arranged in a column and residing beside them were a pair of oven mitts. the last thing he left for you to spot was a note attached to the thermal gloves.
"for your cupcakes. don't burn yourself." — rin itoshi.
PAIRING... barista! jungwon x gn! reader | GENRE... boyfriend! jungwon, fluff, humor, jealousy | WC... 0.2k | “i like it when you get jealous.” | jealous reader lol
you slam the spoon on the table, startling nearby customers. you breathe out deeply, closing your eyes in an attempt to collect yourself.
but how could you?
how could you when the first thing that greeted your eyes when you walked into the cafe was a random girl flirting with your boyfriend?
and said boyfriend having no choice but to go along with it as the worker on duty?
it was stupid. stupid girl, stupid coffee, stupid-
“y/n. how about we don’t scare the other customers?”
your eyes fly open and he visibly flinches at the look you give him.
“how about you go back to doing your job?”
“whoa. hey. what’s wrong?” your boyfriend softens, grabbing your hand in hopes of calming you.
you purposely avoid his eyes but don’t shrug his hand off. “i don’t know, jungwon. why don’t you ask that girl who tried to give you her number?”
he blanks before a surprised laugh escapes him. you shoot him a glare.
“so that’s what it is…” he murmurs and although you don’t catch what he said, you still huff and look away from jungwon.
yeah, you were being petty and you knew it.
“wait for me when my shift is over?”
you really can’t stay mad at him for long. “yeah, whatever,” you grumble.
he smile grows, “okay, i gotta get back now. oh and,” you stare at him questioningly,
“i like it when you get jealous,” he comments simply before walking back to the register.
your mouth drops open and you’re not sure but you think the people around you have the same reaction.
jungwon only smirks as he calls for the next order.
a/n ▸ig this is for @coffeewon ?? >3< miss u >3<
MAIN TAGLIST ▸ @precioussoulofmine @lov3niki @heesterical @coffeewon @rerequire @nvertheless
send a message to be added to the taglist!
taesan x reader
wc — 2k genre & warnings — angst, situationship, smoking, alcohol consumption, unedited playlist/inspired by — supercut by lorde // i don’t smoke by mitski // focus by niki notes — remember folks! communication is always the key. (that way you can manage your expectations.) if you enjoyed reading, please do reblog and leave feedback! request to be part of the taglist! masterlist
synopsis — a drunken phone call leads you and taesan to unpack what was kept under wraps, and you both don’t know where to stand on your relationship.
there’s a thumping in your ear—maybe it’s from the bass that sounds through the walls or the jumping crowd that shakes the floor. the flashing lights have turned into hazy streaks of red and the smell of sweat seems to stick. yet, despite how uncomfortable the club has gone at this hour, you stay in place, swishing the contents in your cup before downing it.
you let out a quiet exhale, senses numbing and faltering the more you drink. but the thumping remains, and you don’t know where it’s coming from.
“y/n!” your eyes snap towards julie whose eyebrows are scrunched in worry. “are you okay?”
you straighten your back against the wall. “me? yeah.” you lift the cup to her view, giving it a small shake to show it’s empty. “i just finished my drink, so i was letting the alcohol sit.”
julie chuckles before grabbing it from you. “okay, that’s enough drinking. you,” her finger jabs at your chest, “need some water.” despite the groan that leaves you, she latches onto your arm before dragging you away.
as you make your way back to the booth, the music seems to drown from the volume of your friends. taerae’s laugh overlaps the melody and gunwook’s complaints take over the vocal chops. “oh, there you are!” jaehyun calls out the moment he spots you. “i thought you went to the washroom.” you plop down beside him. “maybe even went for a smoke break.”
“hey, i don’t smoke anymore,” you defend yourself.
“anymore, you just said.”
you roll your eyes before mumbling. “i don’t even think i’m a smoker.”
before jaehyun can argue, julie leans over towards you two. “i’m going to get you water.” as she’s met jaehyun’s intoxicated grin, she sighs before standing up straight. “maybe i should be getting you some, too.” once julie takes her leave, you both erupt into drunken giggles.
the rest of your friends continue to enjoy the night; some continue to down more shots while others share the latest gossip. you and jaehyun don’t exchange a word, shoulders pressed to each other as you stare off into nowhere. and while you attempt to enjoy the shared silence, the thumping in your ear remains.
“what’s on your mind?”
“nothing.” you look over at jaehyun. “just alcohol.”
he frowns. “you just… i feel like your mind has been going off somewhere this whole night.”
“literally, i’m just spacing out.” you rip your gaze from him before you sink into the seat. “nothing to get too worried about.”
a beat passes.
“are you sure?”
with jaehyun’s persistence, you get off your seat. “i’m going to find julie.” despite his protests, you make your way through the crowd until you find yourself by the bar. you call on the bartender and ask him for another glass of whatever he gave you then. at his nod, you lean on the table as you wait for him to mix up another concoction that would keep your mind busy.
beside you are seats filled with flirting couples, whispering sweet-nothings and getting handsy in public. it seems that more people behind you are having the time of their lives chatting and grooving on the dance floor. yet, here you stand, hoping that the next glass would allow you to give you the enjoyment you’ve been craving this whole night.
you thank the bartender the moment your order is served. before you can drink, someone shoves against you, causing it to spill. “hey, watch where you’re going!” as soon as you catch sight of the person, your stern expression suddenly shifts into shock—because he looks like him.
“sorry about that!” the stranger is quick to apologize, a regretful smile resting on his lips—and it reminds you of his smile, the same one he would shoot at you at every party, every late night out, every time he managed to upset you. the person throws a quick glare at his friend before saying, “i hope i didn’t spill your drink.”
at your silence, the stranger takes it as his sign to continue partying, but you remain frozen, staring at him. the similarities are uncanny; the same cat-like features with the exact fashion style that he has. and suddenly, it’s a supercut in your mind—of every stolen glance, of every hand held, of every lean in as he tries to listen to your whispers, of every short distance and shared silence spent staring into each other’s eyes.
yet, those moments seemed like nothing to taesan.
once you down your drink, you move past the crowd until you finally exit the club. even outside, the thumping in your ear remains. the moment your hand rests on your chest, you feel the pounding in your chest—and you realize that it’s been your heartbeat all along.
you dig through your bag until you manage to fish out an opened pack of cigarettes, and you don’t even think twice about asking a group of strangers smoking to light up your last cigarette.
first drag. you shut your eyes close as you lean against the brick wall.
second drag. your brain has turned cloudy and your heart rate has slowed down.
third drag. you still think of him.
you pull out your phone, greeted by multiple missed calls from jaehyun and julie, but you ignore them as you scroll through your contacts for taesan’s name. as soon as you spot him, your thumb hovers over his phone number.
and the next thing you know it, your phone is pressed against your ear as it rings.
your friends would’ve shouted at you if they knew what you were doing. at first, they seemed to enjoy hearing the first few escapades you would share with him, until they asked you what you two were. they found out you were entangled in a life of mixed-signals, and your distress had only made them beg you to cut him off. you should’ve listened to their advice. after all, they pointed out all his red flags in every problem, every story, you shared.
but you did none of the sorts.
the ringing goes silent. you almost think the call was dropped until you hear him clear his throat from the other line. “hey, how’s my sweetheart?”
you thought it was a common thing taesan did with friends but it came to your surprise that it’s the first time jaehyun has heard him refer to someone with that nickname. you don’t know why he calls you that, and you never complained—until now.
“why do you call me that?”
“sweetheart? because the first time i met you, you were sweet to me. you’ve always been sweet to everyone.”
you shake your head. “no, not that.”
“what?” taesan’s confusion only has your heart rate racing once more. if he couldn’t even understand what you’re referring to, what more did he think about where you two stand?
“why do you call me yours?”
it’s silent for a moment.
wind grazes against your skin as you take another drag. “why do you do that? why do you always reach out for my hand whenever we walk? or always wrap your arm around me?” when he doesn’t say anything, you take that as your sign to continue. “why is it that you always bring me back to your place? why do you tell me to stay for the night? and why do you hold me so close every night?” you exhale. “why do you do all that?”
taesan continues to remain silent. “i just,” you slide down the wall, crouching as you look down, “you say all these things… do all these things, and i get confused. whenever i’m with you, you always seem to get touchy with me, and you don’t care whenever i say that your friends might get the wrong idea.”
it never helped that he boiled your statements into shame—because you could never be embarrassed of him. yet, he could never define what you two were. what didn’t help is that he would always answer jaehyun with, “just friends,” whenever his friend asks about you two.
“and taesan, i was willing to keep up with it until you wanted something more official. but the months kept going, and suddenly i was suffering from every moment you grew distant from me or i saw you getting touchy with someone else.”
you take another drag, and taesan still refuses to say anything.
“everything you do makes me think that there is something going on between us, and maybe i am getting the wrong idea, but i’m begging that you tell me that i’m not just someone you’re just looking to have fun with. i can’t continue with this if we don’t settle on what we are.”
as seconds go by, you almost think that he dropped the call on you. but you know he’s still there. “taesan.”
“yeah?” he finally speaks up.
“i’m only asking you one thing. what are we?”
and when you’re met with silence once more, you realize the answer all by yourself. if you two were something, he would’ve interrupted you as you list down your questions. if you two were something, he would’ve had no problem telling jaehyun what he thought about you. if you two were something, he would’ve been able to answer you in a heartbeat.
“y/n, i enjoy your company. i like having you around and all, and you seem to understand me in a way that my friends don’t.”
despite the seconds of silence that pass, you know there’s another half to the sentence.
“but i’m not looking for anything serious right now. i’m sorry you saw it that way.”
your friends are right. you should’ve known better than to expect something out of this. it was doomed to fail from the start. maybe if you listened to your friends earlier on, you wouldn’t have found yourself in too deep with someone who could never understand the boundaries.
“maybe it’s best that we don’t see each other anymore,” taesan says.
it pained you to hear him say that because at the start of each day, you would seek him out knowing you’d end it with him. it almost hurts imagining what tomorrow would be like knowing you wouldn’t see him anymore.
but for once, he was doing something right.
you nod before saying, “okay. i’m sorry for thinking that.”
the call drops. he didn’t bother to say goodbye.
as you take another drag, you stare off into nowhere while you’re left to replay everything that went down between you two. maybe you should’ve done better to uphold those boundaries, ask him earlier on if he was interested in being in a relationship, and you could’ve avoided wasting your months on someone who couldn’t imagine something with you.
you should’ve been mad that this is the outcome.
“there you are!” you whip your head to see jaehyun with a worried expression. “i’ve been looking for you everywhere! you weren’t picking up your phone. what are you doing outside?”
then, jaehyun sees the cigarette in one hand and your phone in the other, and his frustration dissipates. you rip your eyes from him, avoiding eye contact as you recount what went down within those months with taesan. when your friend crouches beside you, you try to keep your feelings at bay. after all, it’s better to keep everything to yourself.
yet, it takes jaehyun’s hand against your back for the tears to finally come out.
you disappointed your friends as you continued to see taesan without their knowledge. you disappointed yourself by thinking something could come out of your months spent with him.
but most of all, you disappointed taesan by becoming another person who caught feelings.
(and what’s worse to say is that you hold out hope that he’d come running back to you. you’d forgive, and forgive, and forgive. you’d accept him back with open arms no matter what.)
(so for now, you’re left looking for anything that could fill the void that he’s left until he comes back.)
networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @blankjournal @onedoornet @kstrucknet
boynextdoor permanent tag list: @bndokidoki @0310s @whyilovewhales-pdf
nrk ㅤㅤ ♡ ㅤboyfriend texts
❕️ femreader (smau, fluff) ㅤ─ ㅤriki as your boyfriend . . warnings suicide jokes word count n/a
note this is for lorie aka THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ! im the other woman i fear