5/31/20

I couldn’t sleep last night. It has been very difficult to be present lately. Every time I have thought about this situation in the past few days my heart begins to race and my hands begin to shake.

Being Black means a constant struggle between being informed and constantly enraged, or mentally shutting down in an attempt to maintain your peace and avoid mental exhaustion. For the past few days I’ve teetered between the two, having to choose between being involved and being calm. Now I feel numbness. From the day we are born, day in and day out we are being watched, surveilled, insulted, degraded, criticized, beaten down, and brutalized mentally and physically. Every move you worry about, worrying how it will be perceived by others. Am I walking too close to this person? Am I speaking too loud? Should I share that experience with that friend? What will they say, or what will they not say? We are taught by society to shrink ourselves and hate ourselves. We are taught what we say and believe does not matter. We are taught that we should stay down for fear of being taken out if we get up. We are taught we are not allowed to have and express feelings the way other people are allowed to. We have a knee on our neck at all times, choking us slowly. And when we muster the strength and the power to stand up and say something about the constant discrimination, mistreatment, brutality, and psychological torture that white supremacy imposes on our lives, people seem to always find a way to justify the injustices done to us.

⁃ “Maybe you shouldn’t wear dark colors next time you go out...”

⁃ “You know you shouldn’t drive such a nice car in that neighborhood...”

⁃ “Maybe you shouldn’t go to that school or major in that field, you know how it is...”

⁃ “If you would have just cooperated, things would not have escalated...”

⁃ “Well they must have done something to be treated that way...”

⁃ “Are you sure it was racism? How do you know? It could have been something else...”

⁃ “Maybe you should try not being so angry...”

I am thinking about my grandparents who are not even 90 yet and have had this happen, names known and unknown to them, thousands of times in their lifetime. I can not begin to understand the immense pain they must feel reliving the many traumatic experiences of their childhoods growing up in the 30, 40s, and 50s in the Jim Crow South. I am thinking about my parents seeing this for the umpteenth time, who were born in the late 60s, a time when some thought the country was beginning to progress. I am thinking about Black family members and relatives and friends who are as enraged, hurt, exhausted, and numb as I am. I am thinking about how we will likely have to live these things again and again in our lifetimes. And I am thinking about the people that exist alongside us on this Earth that see but do not protest or oppose our constant dehumanization and extermination.

For you Black people, I am wishing you love and care and light and safety as we all are battling this situation, both mentally and physically. I know all of us are inexplicably tired. You are not a soapbox or a political robot. If what is healthier for you is not to speak right now, do that. If what is healthier for you is to be out right now protesting or having difficult conversations with people, do that. I see and understand both of you.

For you non-Black people who are speaking up, sharing information, donating, and protesting with pure and genuine intentions. Thank you. Please continue standing in solidarity and challenging the anti-Blackness in your own communities. Continue to amplify Black voices and stand with us.

For those posting one quick reposted photo displaying opposition or engaging in “don’t break the chain” Instagram trends because everyone’s doing it or so they don’t look bad, and then logging off to go back to using or letting their friends and family use the N-Word, profiting off of and appropriating Black culture, speaking over or attempting to invalidate Black people and their experiences, supporting cops and other racist institutions, and/or refusing to challenge your racist and anti-Black friends and family members (and this list is by no means exhaustive): what good does this do? Your words and posts without change and action mean nothing. Appearing to be anti-racist is not for clout or for safety from persecution. Lives are at stake.

For those who are displaying opposition with the ridiculous expectation to get praise or points from people for doing so: being anti-racist is your only option in this day and age. It is basic human decency.

For those who don’t really understand what’s going on or why, I encourage you to seek out the many resources that are available online that can explain more in depth the immoral country we live in so that you can be more educated on the reality of the situation. Do your best not to reach out to Black people to do the emotional labor and exhausting work of trying to defend our humanity to you. Many of us are extremely overwhelmed at this time between the racism we experience daily and what we see playing out in the country, and it is not our job to do the work of educating people about this system of white supremacy that we did not create.

For those that are saying nothing at all, why? Aoki Lee Simmons said “My non-Black friends, I cannot begin to unpack your silence. I am scared of what it will tell me. The things you are here for and the things you are not, what do they say about you? About me for choosing you?” What do you want with me? Am I just another stamp on your diversity punch card? Do I exist to make you feel less guilty? How can you look me in the eye or call me friend knowing you do not actively challenge the systems and prejudices that kill people like me? It is shameful and disgraceful not to speak up and use your privilege when people need you the most. And I understand you do not have to post things on social media to care about things. But honestly, what the hell are you waiting for? If now is not the time to align yourself for the right cause, what is? Especially for those who know they have engaged in anti-Black prejudices, practices, and language. Isn’t now as good a time as any to prove yourself?

To all whom this applies: your lack of support, attempted justification for injustice, and chosen ignorance is a threat to my, my family’s, and my community’s lives and wellbeing.

We need to stop framing racism as something of the past. It is here, has always been here, and it has never left. White supremacy is the foundation of this country and all of its institutions. When the problem runs that deep, things have to be shaken up, flipped over, and burned down in order to change. If you’re putting more energy into calling protesters “rioters” or “thugs,” defending racist killer cops, justifying state-sanctioned murder, saying that “all lives/blue lives matter,” and demonizing Black people for reacting to the violently dehumanizing and fatal racism and anti-Blackness we face in this country... just admit that Black people demanding equal rights and equal treatment is disturbing to you. Just admit you are uncomfortable with disrupting your social position and the systems that keep you up there, and us down here. We have been peaceful, by the book, and complied with the law. We have taken a knee in peaceful silence. We have tried to have dialogue with you. We have resorted to violence. No matter which route we take, there always seems to be an issue. To racists and white supremacists, there is no “right way” for Black people to fight for their rights. Your respectability politics exists to control and surveil us. Stop telling Black people how to react to the systems that have created our pain, our anguish, and our trauma for hundreds of years.

I am talking directly to white and non-Black people of color. It is not enough for you to be neutral or simply “not racist.” We all must have strong values at this time, or we have chosen the side of the oppressor. It is not enough for you to post on social media. These things are important and do bring awareness, but with the brutality we are facing we need your monetary and physical support. We need your lifestyle and mindsets to change. Reflect on the prejudices that you hold and the ways you perpetuate or are complicit in racism and anti-Blackness. Stop making excuses for friends and family who are complicit as well. Explore the ways that you can educate yourself, others, and help. We need the world to actively and loudly value Black lives, Black well-being, and Black futures as much as they value Black culture.

If you know of any protests nearby and are well enough to go, I encourage you to. Please sign petitions. I have also included a few links of where you can donate to help the cause. (Please comment below any other petitions, campaign, resources, etc. I can amplify at this time!)

SIGN THE PETITION:

Justice for George Floyd | https://act.colorofchange.org/sign/justiceforfloyd_george_floyd_minneapolis/?source=dm_sms_optin_5-26-20

Justice for Breonna Taylor | https://act.colorofchange.org/sign/justiceforbre-breonna-taylor-officers-fired/?source=dm_SMS_shortcode_optin

Justice for Ahmaud Arbery | https://www.runwithmaud.com/

DONATE:

Campaign Zero | https://www.joincampaignzero.org/

Reclaim the Block | https://www.reclaimtheblock.org/home

George Floyd Memorial Fund Fundraiser | https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd

Black Vision Collective | https://www.blackvisionsmn.org/

Minnesota Freedom Fund | https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/donate

Fresh list of organizations that need funding after this week

A lot of the lists on tumblr have been circulating all week and some of the organizations have taken in as much as they can use with the size/scope of their mission. I signed up to the excellent Reclaim the Block and they just posted this list on their facebook.

Black Table Arts - Gathering Black communities through the arts, towards better black futures.

Centro de Trabajadores Unidos en Lucha - CTUL is a worker-led organization where workers organize, educate and empower each other to fight for a voice in their workplaces and in their communities.

Du Nord Riot Recovery Fund - Du Nord Craft Spirits is a Black-owned distillery with a building that was damaged. They’ve “received a tidal wave of love and support from across the nation and many have asked how they can help… Therefore, Du Nord is establishing this fund to support black and brown companies affected by the riots.”

Little Earth Residents Association - Food and safety needs for residents of Little Earth of United Tribes.

Migizi Communications - MIGIZI Communications advances a message of success, well-being and justice for the American Indian community. Support them rebuilding after fire.

Minnesota Healing Justice Network - We provide a supportive professional community and mutual aid network for wellness and healing justice practitioners who also identify as IBPOC (indigenous, black, or people of color).

Northside business support - support businesses on Minneapolis’s Northside that have been impacted by recent demonstrations.

Pimento Relief Fund - We’re partnering with Pimento to provide black business without insurance relief after white supremacists set them on fire during the protests.

Powwow Grounds - send via paypal to angelswann2021@gmail.com - Native-run cafe, currently providing meals to elders, protectors and community, purchasing medical supplies, fire supplies, cooking supplies.

Southside Harm Reduction- Southside Harm Reduction Services works within a harm reduction framework to promote the human rights to health, safety, autonomy, and agency among people who use substances.

Spiral Collective - A volunteer full-spectrum reproductive options and support group comprised of doulas, birth-workers, and passionate reproductive justice advocates. based in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota, occupied Dakhóta territories.

Women for Political Change - Holistically investing in the leadership and political power of young women and trans & non-binary individuals throughout Minnesota.

Unicorn Riot - A decentralized media organization that has been live-streaming uprisings

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njkhis

4 years ago

Please reblog, this is so important.

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njkhis

5 years ago

Impossible Year

32,032 words amazing art by @hamabee an ode to my love for annabeth chase inspired by the song impossible year by panic! at the disco

shout out to @percyyoulittleshit and @falloutside for organising the @pjohoobigbang and inspiring me to write my longest one-off fic to date, and thanks to @spooky-son-of-rome for betaing, and to @percyyoulittleshit and @lililibird for being honorary betas and fab cheerleaders, i love you all and thanks to @hamabee. hannah, i honestly couldn’t have done this without you. from the very idea of it through to individual scenes and just general support, none of this would have happened without you. your art is absolutely incredible, your talent is endlessly inspiring and i can’t thank you enough for coming on this months-long journey with annabeth and i. i love you.

It starts and ends with this: “Together.”

Annabeth stares at Percy, and Percy stares at Annabeth.

They’re searching for something that they aren’t even sure exists anymore. They’re so unrecognisable now that they’ve started to forget who they were, before.

She feels his fingers twitch in hers, registers that she’s probably holding his hands too tightly but acknowledges that she doesn’t want to let go just yet. She’s sitting in his lap, their hands clasped between them, and both of them are crying.

She knows that he doesn’t want to let go yet, either. Because once they let go, it’s done. They are done.

Annabeth takes a deep breath, one that rattles her very bones, feels her heart beating wildly in her chest, feels her stomach churning and her mouth going dry. She licks her lips.

Percy watches, and she thinks about kissing him. You know, to say goodbye.

Instead, she closes her eyes. She counts to ten, and then she tells herself to be brave. She opens her eyes.

Gods, he looks as sad as she feels.

Which is part of the problem - maybe the whole problem, actually. Together was what had gotten them through Tartarus, what had given them the strength to claw their way out and then to keep on fighting through everything that had come after.

But they’re out, now, back at camp and physically safe and yet all they seem to do is keep dragging each other back down there.

Together.

“Not anymore.”

Keep reading

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njkhis

3 years ago

Feel bad asking about another but "I called you at 2am because I need you" (48) would be great!

In many ways, dating Percy feels like skipping straight to the good part of love. There are no awkward icebreakers, no friends anxiously checking Annabeth's location during dates, no innocent questions about family and no strained explanations in response. They have slipped into intimacy like tailored clothes, something they wore for ages before making the perfect fit.

Like now, when Annabeth dials his number on instinct, knowing he's out with friends but will pick up on the second ring.

One.

Two--

"Hey, baby," he says, and the warmth of his voice undoes the way Annabeth shrinks at the joyous chatter in the background. "It's late."

He's having fun, that nagging voice says. Don't ruin his night. Let him be.

"I miss you." A lifeline. I can't say it, but I'll say it if you see it.

"I miss you too, always." She can hear him thinking, practically see the pucker between his brows at the hitch in her breath. "Want me to come over? Things are winding down here."

Annabeth squeezes her eyes shut, dropping the tissues back on the couch and pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders. "Please."

"Do I need to stop for supplies?"

"Just you."

Percy shows up sooner than should be humanly possible, his forehead glistening faintly with sweat from the brisk walk to Annabeth's apartment. He didn't wait for the train.

Thick summer air follows him in the door, pausing in the hallway with him when his eyes find Annabeth, like even the air is waiting to see how he can make this better. His eyes flit to the tissues, the throw blanket, the red splotches on Annabeth's face.

He moves toward her, tucking the throw blanket around her until she's an emotionally compromised burrito easing into the comfort of his lap, warmth melting through her as his hands pull back her hair.

Annabeth closes her eyes as Percy kisses her forehead, murmuring an "I love you," that settles over her with a kind weight, the firm hand of a lover, the comfort of a cloak. And the bad night is still a bad night, but now it is so much lighter. Oh, it is everything to be held. How human to want what you can't ask for. How holy to receive it anyway.

Please pray for us here in Greece.

Three different places near Athens were destroyed by massive forest fires.

• 180+ people are severely injured and burnt.

• 50 people and counting were found dead on the streets, in their cars or houses, including families that were found hugging each other.

• 100+ are missing.

This is a national tragedy. So many were lost because of ARROGANT PEOPLE.

Spreading awareness. There’s no need for such things to happen, so many lives were destroyed for no reason.

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njkhis

2 months ago

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njkhis

6 years ago

Fuck ICE

That judge who asked young children if they even knew what a lawyer was and then continued to proceed on their cases is a piece of shit and I hope he rots slowly while alive, he should have refused, what a pathetic evil motherfucker who actually spoke to these children face to face and still proceeded to treat them like criminals and send them off to god knows what kinda awful shit, I hope that sick fuck gets a very slow painful disease

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njkhis

5 years ago

Okay Bernie stans.

I need you all to prepare yourselves to vote for Biden in November.

I’m not happy about it either. I wanted Elizabeth Warren to destroy Trump on the debate floor. I wanted to watch her shatter the glass ceiling. I wanted student loan forgiveness, Medicare for All, and refugee and immigrant protections.

But I’m not going to get that. So I am going all in for Biden.

This can no longer be a matter of “well if I don’t get my way THEN I’M NOT VOTING”. I’d hoped you all learned your lessons four years ago, but from what I’ve seen on social media, that’s not been the case. Biden is not ideal but he is better than the alternative. He is a Democrat who will continue Obama’s legacy. And you have a shot in hell of getting progressive movements like Medicare for All under a blue majority Congress; we do not have that under Trump.

Biden is more willing to listen to the progressive factions of the Democrat party than Trump is. We will get shit done under him.

We cannot survive a second term of Trump. I need you all to hold your noses, put on your big girl pants, and deal with it. Prepare to vote for Biden.

65K notes View Post

njkhis

7 years ago

in case it proves useful, here’s a permanent link to AO3′s Black Panther tag with the Bucky, Steve, and Tony tags filtered out

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njkhis

4 years ago

16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?” love you and your writing!! ♡♡

[ichor group au]

“Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?” Percy whispers sweetly as he slips his arms around Annabeth’s waist, placing a kiss to her cheek.

Annabeth slides her hands on top of Percy’s, amazed at how warmth always seems to radiate off of him, and leans back into his arms. Gently, she leans her head into his and smiles as she notes how the light of the moon makes her engagement ring gleam.

“Why are you so good to me?” she asks, her voice quiet.

She feels him shrug before he answers. “How else do you treat the love of your life?”

Annabeth pulls Percy’s arms tighter around her middle, finding comfort in the steadiness of his touch. “I never thought I’d have this.”

“Well you do,” Percy says with confidence. “For always.”

Annabeth laughs as she turns around to face Percy, linking her hands around his neck as he links his at the small of her back.

“For always, huh?”

He nods, a childlike grin lighting up his face. “Yup. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Now answer the question.”

“What question?” she asks, playing dumb.

Percy doesn't waver. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?”

She looks at him, from the deep green of his eyes to the solid lines of his jaw and the perfect curve of his smile until she can’t help but kiss him on his perfectly soft lips. Pulling away, she feels her heart skip a beat at the way Percy’s long eyelashes flutter as he opens his eyes.

“Hmm,” she says pensively. “I guess to answer that I have to ask you a question of my own.”

“What’s that?” he says with a curious squint.

“Do you think the sun is jealous of how my world completely revolves around you?”

She can practically hear the air leave Percy’s lungs as he watches her with awe and reverence. Her gravitational force soon proves to be too strong, and there under the light of the full moon they transform into the sea and shore, crashing into each other with abandon.