I Used To Have No Hope For The Future But Now I'm Thinking. I Want Rich People Food. I Want Rare Sirloin

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

Microdosing friendship by liking each other's posts and sending a single dm back and forth every 6 months.

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

Hello. I hope you have the day you deserve.

this was extremely threatening actually

A non-exhaustive list of things from TMA that I was 100% certain were just fandom jokes before I actually listened to the podcast:

- The homophobic vase.

- Jon being kidnapped and forcibly moisturized for a month.

- Jon being kidnapped three separate times in the span of a single season.

- The "I won't kill a man because you're jealous." "Why not?!" exchange between Jon and Martin.

- There are like seven or more characters all named some variant of Michael.

- Melanie calling Jon "The Ceaseless Watcher's special little boy".

- Jon asking Martin if he was a ghost.

- The "Statement of Joe Spooky" quote from Tim.

- The "Except for the vampires." "Yeah, obviously except for the vampires." exchange between Jon and Gerry.

- Mike Crew trapping a dude on a ladder forever.

- Jon asking Martin to gouge his eyes out and run away with him.

- Nikola Orsinov. Like, just in general.

- Elias being a pothead.

- Georgie being literally incapable of feeling fear.

- The bone apple teeth.

- The guy who married a bug.

Rewatching TMA and getting to Arachnophobia is a lot funnier when you imagine Jon just having war flashbacks as he reads through this, like, no WONDER the poor man thought that it was some kind of prank

“Can you be haunted by the ghost of the spider that destroyed your childhood ?”

I don’t know, Jon, CAN you ?

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts