Dennis is funny because Macs tried to heal a relationship outside the gang (his dad) but it failed immediately (rejected, unfair) and Charlie's done it too, even planned to leave, but also failed straight away (loser father up and died on him) and Frank doesn't want to leave, and Dee is not permitted to leave (not even to go bowling! they need their punch bag!) but Dennis has actually been out there. He's gone and tried it. He invested in a life outside of Paddy's Pub, he left and tried to go be a dad, be a better person than Frank was, and... it did not fuckin work! Couldn't do it. Came crawling right back after being gone for months. Which means he's the only one out of all of them that knows for sure there's nowhere else to go. None of the rest have really tested it—it's just a pipe dream for them—they can imagine it however they want! And that's a pretty useful psychological pressure valve. Their own places in the gang are inherently lower stakes for them because they can still believe if it all falls apart they'd figure something out, they got plenty of other options, definitely. They may worry there's nowhere else for them, sure, but you know what you can do with a worry? Move past it. Except for Dennis. Who knows he can't afford to rock the boat, or deviate too much from his assigned role, i.e. still very much the "leader" of the Freight Train, still their new psycho, even if he is a little mellowed with age. So he left because he wanted to quit all the delusional bullshit, wanted to try something real. Then found out "real" didn't want him in it. And came back to the gang, and for a little while he tried to make a change: The Gang Escapes, "let's keep this between us"; Times Up, "I don't want you kissing me" + [extensive instructions in how to not get caught]; Even up to New Wheels he's trying something new, til he embarrasses himself in front of Frank. Til fate hands him his old car back. And if reality don't want you, you're not gonna say no to fate, are you. At least he's got a place in the world. At least somebody wants him around, some kinda way. It's good actually. Who cares if it's not who he really is. He knows there's nothing else out there. The others don't, but he does. So he can keep his secrets, play his part, don't dwell on it, it's cool. It's whatever. After all it's not like you can just "move past" reality, can you. Can you?
I feel really bad for girl Jeri. Call me low on reading comprehension/media literacy or whatever, but like. If she got pregnant young (maybe even teenager) and was hiding it, she wouldn't go for any medical help, nor would boy Jerry... which means that she gave birth without any anesthesia and medical help!! It must've been fucking awful, horrid, painful and overall traumatising experience.
Also, like, the way she starts to sob whether sex and pregnancy mentioned, the way she screams "Stephanie! No!!" when Steph and Pete about to have sex. She warns Steph, not Steph and Pete, she specifically tries to stop the girl from having sex. The way she says "Teen pregnancy is not a joke! [...] You're gonna end up with the child before you're ready! You will have to dropout of school! Your parents will disown you!" and looks dead serious, sad, and...idk worried, rueful, remorseful. And, i think, the most obvious one, "where you will raise the child? In the woods?!" She's clearly projecting onto Steph. Jeri associating sex with pregnancy and pregnancy with da baby and it's murders. It's a chain of associations and literally almost every link is traumatizing to her. She feels responsible for her son's murders (because she does enable him), she is the one to try calling into police, she is the one who doesn't want to lie to child's parents, and she has to be coerced, lied and threatened into cooperation by boy Jerry. She, not surprisingly, got sexual trauma from these events, she even responds to sexual advances of a guy that blackmailing her and degrading her! I'm not saying that ppl cannot have these kind of kinks without trauma, but it's not talked-about-before-consensual kink here, she's stunned and overwhelmed by discovering bodies, feeling guilty for hiding bodies, feeling horny and feeling guilty and ashamed for feeling horny to truly process and being able to consent to things.
By the way, the fact that boy Jerry doesn't give shit about her also makes me feel bad for her. Like, he very clearly projecting and tells his own thoughts and feelings when "scolding" Pete, so that means that he feels jealous over, and is sexually attracted to Jeri, but looking at Jerry's actions he doesn't respect or trust Jeri, he threatens and blackmails her, he constantly takes control of the situation and assumes that she will obey him, simply put - he's awful to her. And something i noticed when listening to "Hatchet town" from Npmd on repeat is that there's line when citizens accuse boy Jerry and he LITERALLY says "no! it's girl Jeri! that dirty girl!" and like, that could be written in just for a joke but in character it would render boy Jerry as a fucking traitor and a coward. Not too surprising considering all that he does in abstinence camp, but goddammit, he's despicable.
Like, I'm not saying that what she done is okay or morality right, but i empathise with her, like she literally GAVE BIRTH IN THE GODDAMN WOODS.
"I could play him like a fiddle" they say in unison
Finished a piece for the TGWDLM Reprise fake Playbill Mini-Zine Collab that @riveracheron is putting together!
I saw that the Ad for Spankoffski's Heart and Sole was open and jumped on it!
I really wanted an excuse to draw college age Ted (including the early Starkid Era Joey Headband) and then I had the idea that the Spankoffski's would want their ad to include their kids. I feel like at the time, Ted would've used this as a bragging point, and Pete would be forever embarrassed. In my own headcannon, the grammar mistake of Women's Shoe originates from this Ad and is a running inside joke between the Spankoffski brothers, which is why he says it in the Beanie's scene in NPMD (in the Digital Ticket version.)
This was fun and I would totally do something silly like this again :)
tomorrow's not coming
i can't hold onto angst for too long bc ella ashmore should never be sad ever again so consider this as well
the greatest will-they-won't-they in television sitcom history. i guess.
10/10 stream. FUND THE KICKSTARTER!!
"...m'course I love you, dude."
he/they | 20 | FINAn Ao3 author!! (Noelism)I'm gonna post my insane ramblings and writing updates here agvysbbh,,Currently obsessed with Sunny and Hatchetfield!!
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