I Think Of This All The Time, We Really Don't Wanna Live That Long Cause Otherwise We'd Eat Grass And

Black women are really beautiful. This dude online was calling a really beautiful ethnic woman ugly because she looked more on the natural homely side and I realized how screwed the black community is. Like that's what your people naturally look like. It's really pitiful he felt he needed to say that just to clarify that ofc a natural woman of color can't be seen as beautiful. I don't blame some women for just saying screw all men cause it's normal for a dude to say you're ugly if you're natural. Yet they can and will shame you if you try to look like the societal standard. Meanwhile he was working on his health and on a spiritual journey, men are so unserious.

Might be just a little enamored with her face card

Vegan Kimchi Noodle Soup

I'm patiently waiting for the day sean lew does his big one and finally choreographs for sm and saves the company from mediocrity cause southern hip hop does not go like how they've been doing it or teaching it.

Back in the day they used to have a good medium of american choreographers to assist the trainee's and idols and clean up their faults now it's like they don't' have that and it's soo evident.

I don't care the minute they got rid of that bald british or american dude they companies dancing went down hill. It became a weird oligarchy. Like I noticed kai's main teacher started recommending people he trained and they eventually ended up replacing most of the western choreographers. They brought in bailey sok

for peaches, the asian american southern swag hip hop extraordinaire that she is and it was way better than Mmmh.

It actually had so many different elements in it, but most don't really focus on the dancing. But for rover they settled on bada lee

who is mainly a krump battle dancer, it lacked authenticity. Not to get all so you think you can dance, but Jongin cannot do that and at sm they make no effort to really teach everyone learns on their own and they aren't really pushed to be at a certain standard.

Kasper and all those other choreographers and that studio they get most of the dancers from have a very specific skill sets.

They've been with sm for quite some time and I get that, loyalty but like the art world don't work like that they're gonna get left behind.

they got clout about 2013 from america's best dance crew made it to the quarter finals cool. We back to Korea with prestige

Did the olympics alongside exo.

I get sm always wants people with lots of prestige and clout but they tend to keep the same people for so long the creative image of sm gets stifled and left behind, now sm is desperately trying all the trends and fads to get their artists relevant to the youth again. Like it's a little late they should have been letting young creative directors in.

I don't care I'm always gonna advocate for new and upcoming artist with lots of passion. They make the world turn, they start the trends, they bring the most energy with their ideas.

Ignoring the performative style an artist specializes in and getting choreographers that make lite hood tik tok mashup dances is ruining the game. But if one must do it I think letting the western choreographers they bring in for ideas have some real creative freedom. It typically never fails I feel like they bring in these choreographers for a blueprint then let a korean choreographer twist it up a little bit so they never have to really give somebody credit. They never say western names hardly if ever only thank you team who contributed to the success but the korean choreographers get to show their face, do interviews, and idols basically have them as a part of the crew.

Like they are NOT slick. At all. I know the western choreographers get inspo from southern hip hop but at least they are transparent. They'll say this is inspired by this dance, two step, crank that, etc but it never is even a topic of discussion. Only full credit going to the k choreographers and yeah yeah some other people helped...like people forget why exo's choreo was so on point when they started

I really don't wanna make it seem like it's just black creators they try to shelve and ignore it's basically anyone non korean.

Tony Testa I remember him from back in the day but when I wanted to search him up to my surprise nobody really talked about him and the only choreographer people talk about training Kai is mainly Mihawk and Kasper...which is somewhat true.

Cause they're choreo is...like it's okay.. but Kai himself went into how Mihawk trained Exo and it was basically sm style, yelling, you're terrible, quit now, emotional abuse... wow you're famous I love you let's take pictures.. I don't care they gaslight them kids idc idc idc. Now that's trauma bonding.

But then there's the actual full truth that they and many other sm performers who have been praised for their dances around that time, were in fact trained by a real deal professional at one point, one of their staple choreographers was Tony Testa and he choreographed for Britney Spears(circus) and Michael Jackson(Testa was hired by director Kenny Ortega as an associate choreographer for Michael Jackson's final tour This Is It which obviously never got to happen but still)

This was dance on sunset? I think?

and suddenly the quality makes all the sense in the world

But again try and find it without knowing about it before hand you'd be like yeah no they never really had any western choreographers. There's no history books in Kpop if you were there you remember but if you weren't woops doesn't exist.

except it does.

Anyway too many people have this weird odd narrative Mihawk did it all and thank God for him like....how? He's just one of the only one's still there. Everybody else left cause Korea is trash to artists and creatives.

Like Kai cannot do that hood stuff, he wasn't trained for that at all. Now if sm invested more in there artists fine blame him but everybody knows these kids would dance in that basement for hours by themselves cause be honest they probably paid the teachers for a certain amount of time and then it's all on the kids. They absorb as much as they can but then it's up to them. He couldn't just learn such an advanced style like krumping from watching, you either grow up in the culture or you learn from someone who grew up in the culture. This is why you can't expect these Korean teachers to teach krumping. They know it but only cause they most likely learned from someone close to the source, it's not just something that can spread so easily.

sm has always like historically done this like it's just something they do they will never stop taking these itsy bitsy pieces of black culture and recycling it they can't help it. They've worked with tons of black artist to make the actual music and tend to get some western or black influenced people to try and create some type of instant quick success. But it's so subtle one could say it's not related at all.

I would say its a coincidence but knowing who trained shotaro like uhm no it's not,

Tiktok

he is a professional dancer and he dances!! #nct #shotaro #nctzen #czennie #dance #nctu #foryou #fypシ #fyp #foryoupage #viral #xyzbca

Sm knows exactly what company trained Shotaro and they are known to specialize in krumping and hip hop. The little time he spent at sm most likely taught him barely anything he was already trained when they got him. They fib so much and never let their artists go into detail. He trained for years with a company that trains people in the top boy groups in japan.

EXPG is a studio connected with the iconic Japanese boy group exile tribe where most of their members train.

I just get tired of people saying 'studio from japan or studio in america' like if it was Korean people would give the entire name...like what's wrong with giving people credit who deserve it.

They typically sometimes get sent to new york for 2 years I think? But that was in the old days it may be different now. This is because the japanese always understood if you want your artist to do black music they should not just sing black music but be under the cultural american influence in some sort of way.

I don't know what they aren't getting, Kai isn't perfect at every style. They just don't plan on ever investing any more money into him or really any of their artists.

He was more in his comfort zone at the beginning of exo with a heavy emphasis on jazz and contemporary style dance.

If there isn't jazz or contemporary at least in the basis of the dance that's where Kai starts to falter. Broadway theater style is what he's most comfortable in. But because of appearance they push urban dance on him.

They didn't even try with bomba

Rover was a soul crushing mix between crank that soulja boi and the macarena.

I was watching the video like nooo that's every viral black/ethnic dance in one and I already knew that tagged choreographer was korean. I wanna analyze rover later but I might get upset it's pretty like a big major 106 in park style mv/music video and dance but like that fact just got

Everything he specializes in sm is like nah they also make anyone with sm have this weird loyalty to where the artist never get to express and cultivate themselves as a human. They are stuck in some sort of child/star hybrid.

I don't know why in the world they didn't send exo or at least super m to millenium they literally rented out the studio where so many talented dancers choreograph and just flew out they korean choreographer so ignorant. They were so stubborn with that group.

I feel like if they were trained by young vibrant artist close to their age they could of gotten so much inspiration. Freedom is really a virus and why would a kpop company want them to have freedom

Like hire the boy he just traveling around asia in his spare time making some of the best choreography of his career and they're like lalalala let's hire other people he's worked and trained with but not him. If anyone could actually help fill in the gaps with some of sm's main dancers I think he could.

Anyway I just feel definitely by 2025 either super m is gonna be somewhat active or sm will be out of business but I still think sean and kai should at least meet up once at a dance conference they become friends and post jazzy contemporary dances online with the occasional obligatory bff's cooking in the kitchen youtube channel, like so many of the peebles do now and days. They both do the same artsy triple threat yet auditioning to be a stay at home husband type of thing, cooking, yoga, self care. Like it can be good for the brand I swear. I just have a thing for artsy people with the same vibes clicking up. It's not so far fetched cause he already worked with Jackson. I just want the two balls of sunshine to meet

2. I mean either political or aligned with a certain way of thinking. For example an important part of art is critiquing and analyzing. I find in exo, sm, and kpop spaces it isn't acceptable to give honest opinions on art. Therefore it's hard to interact with art positively is you cannot even interact with the work itself in a conductive way. For example, there was once a web comic based on Wolf and a few of shinee's contents a long time ago. Fans now tend to ignore the mythos, not discuss it and create fan work completely separate from the reality of the kpop universe. This is a problem for me. If the work reflected more on the reality of exo, even the real life hard hitting issues they face or things that fit the group them I could see myself interacting with it more. Fanwork tends to ignore almost everything but looks and shipping.

Like chibi, or an anime version of the members...like I like art but it feels like dehumanization rather than art in terms of appreciation, you know? Like a lot of people were anime fans and then get into kpop because of the makeup, plastic surgery and their willingness to do fanservice. Like real life anime.

Anyway, in essence there is not much to discuss with current works. To make a more specific example, dc comics tends to write stories that are relevant to todays world, and fandom works do the same. You will see fancomics talk about even more relevant topics than the comics and movies and shows.

Even singers back in the day had movies about real life or interesting topics. Micheal Jackson fans to this day create projects based off of him. Even fans who grew up to make cartoons and movies make characters inspired by his projects. To me that is what makes fanworks interesting and worth checking out. Not just it being pretty.

I suppose a part of it is on the companies. They don't do enough to inspire the fans either. The concept can be great, but it isn't discussed and often ignored by the artists, they hardly talk about it. So I suppose fans do the same. For me it's a miss. Like Obsession was a great concept with terrible promotion and execution. The fanworks and art to me also had potential to be great but they ignore the themes.

To be even more specific, with Rover, great concept, great execution but that is a rare case. I think if the fandom was bigger and more active it could of been even better.

I also recognize fans are doing unpaid labor and get little in return for their work. The companies don't reward the fans at all.

Could you elaborate on how you mean people expect you to have certain opinions? And also when you say they'll talk to you a certain way and kpop fans are extremely disrespectful...is there a scenario you can give me to better understand?

6. For example, I wasn't really active in the fandoms so it's hard to give a clear example. But when call me baby came out in 2015, I thought it was really good, but looking back it did borrow a lot from bands like Nsync and such. That could be talked about more, fans do not want to hear that nor compare kpop to it's influences. I believe one moment in a mv teaser came directly from pinterest... I'm only saying this because I noticed it myself and others noticed it later.

If I were to bring this up, it would be bashed. It's just what I've seen and experienced. Even comparing two good works is seen as an insult. I am not saying every fan does this, it is probably the minority, but the minority talks the loudest in the kpop fandom. It's a bit too much.

If I say that Kai is inspired by another artist, yet he didn't say it out his own mouth, people will say, you are trying to degrade him as an artist. In Rover his Mv was inspired clearly by several other mediums, again people do not want to hear that, they only want direct praise, no other discussion about the work. It feels like there is no point. I am not a kindergartener. I do not want to act like I am watching a children's cartoon. Like I must clap, smile and say nothing intelligent. It gets tiring after awhile. It was fine as a young teen, but even then it was annoying.

Even a comment about something casual. Like for example, sometimes kpop idols go on vacation and hypothetically they went to a nightclub and have something from the nightclub. And I or someone else says 'oh hey he must have went here'. They would go crazy, if you do that 'you are trying to expose them', or start rumors that they are dating. It's mad. I don't really understand why kpop idols can't date. That is another thing that I just cannot get about the fandom. The korean public I somewhat accept because that is their culture. But american fans know good and well they could never stop justin bieber from dating back when he was up and coming, NEVER, it doesn't make sense how if you imply they may date a girl or guy--they get upset. It makes me uncomfortable. I cannot accept behavior like that. It is immoral. Love is a human right. So to be clear that is another large thing. Shipping is fine but even in one direction, people would ship larry on monday but that didn't mean eleanor would disappear on tuesday. Shipping to me in the context of kpop is different, yes other western fandoms ship but the people can date publicly, they can say hey I like this person, or I went on a date last tuesday. Kpop idols cannot. So it's not the same thing. It is a method of control. All of one direction had long term girlfriends and fiancee's from the start of the group. That's another thing I don't get. The scandal of being a grown adult and dating, and the western fans going along with it. I don't like it.

That also makes it hard to enjoy content knowing how toxic the fandom is.

So to be clear, even if you enjoyed (this is an assumption based on the use of the word appreciate) something, it only gets a reblog if it's something that fits your style? How do you define style? Do you mean personal aesthetic? Or does it more mean something fits your personality

Yes. Basically. I may also reblog it if I want to commentate something, but with kpop it's usually best if you say nothing to avoid hate. I don't like to argue so I feel like there's no point draining my energy with an irrational person. Style can be interchanged with vibe. Just something lighthearted, or important. I'm not a strict on what I reblog it just has to be noteable. I will reblog a cow or a cat picture with the same vigor as I'll reblog modern art, or a golden girls or parks and recreation meme. As long as it is something that to me is relatively wholesome, nice to look at and not low vibrational. So I guess something that fits my personality but also my individuality.

I Have a (few) question(s) for Exol.

I'm genuinely curious as to the answers, so if you see this could you please do me the favour of signal boosting this so it reaches more people?

I see posts circulating now and again about lack of interaction on fandom creation posts. No one reblogs. No one comments. But I never see anyone asking why. Is it simply a matter of being in the middle of an etiquette shift? Is it crossplanted members of social media communities having different social norms? Has the way people use Tumblr shifted? Speculation only goes so far so to better understand what I'd like to know is the following:

How long have you been on Tumblr? Any fandom not just Exo.

What is your take on fan created works on Tumblr and interacting with them?

Do you have a process for what goes on your blog? How do you find most of the posts you reblog? Through the dash? Through the tags?

Do you spend time on other platforms? Have you in the past?

How do you interact with fan creations on these other platforms? Do you like comment or share? Do you re-tweet? Etc.

When was the last fic of any length (drabble and blurbs and headcanons/reactions included) you read? Last time you saw fanart (including edits and moodboards and graphics) you enjoyed?

Did you reblog it?

If yes you did reblog did you say anything about it? Simple or otherwise? Leave a gif underneath that expressed how you felt? Put a comment in the tags? Left an emoji? Etc.

If you didn't leave commentary was there a reason? Do you feel like you start to repeat yourself when commenting? Do you think there's nothing to say? Were you following the adage if you cant say something nice dont say anything at all? Other reasons?

If no you did not reblog why? Is there a specific reason? Did you not like it and not want to say? Does it not fit your blog? Was it not a length or level of skill you felt warranted a reblog? Have your friends already seen it? Do you only post your own creations? Other reasons?

For our fan creators I have an extra question. Do you reply to your comments? Even if they're in the tags?

If no is there a reason?

Please take a moment and share your answers cause I'm trying to understand where things shifted from what they were before to now.

I think it's deeper than people realize

I just got out of school a few days ago and honestly I was so busy that I was only halfway paying attention to what has been going on. First of all ever since that fiasco with bubble, and his phone breaking i honestly thought that something was up with him cause he was just acting weird...sigh I really didn't want to get into this I wanted to just relax and read or catchup on good trouble or something but I guess I'll Ramble instead.

I didn't know per say that he was leaving at first I just noticed he has been much more clingy with his fans than usual. Really pushing the boyfriend idol thing( which is so unhealthy for both him and them but I digress). He the entire rover promotions has just looked so tired and exhuasted to me. For this reason although I bought the album I refused to keep up with the promotions because of how out of it he looked. He lost so much weight( which isn't necessarily a bad thing its how quickly he looses weight and how he binge eats afterwards its just not healthy) he looked so tired and energetically drained. S.m absolutely sucks at promoting him and he takes on the bulk of the creative reins and stress for every album, so I understand his stress but it's how he deals with it. He is very sensitive and emotional but pretends not to be until he just snaps and lets it all out. Honestly as selfish as it is this is why I will check up on him periodically but thats about all I can do when he's like that.. seeing someone run themselves ragged not even caring if one day they won't be able to walk for the sake of their craft is too much.

I know people are angry at people suggesting that he knew he was going to the military and I dont know for sure but I really think he did. He's such an oddball he hints at stuff. And if you don't pay attention to his little hints you'll miss the irony of everything he, had changed his hair color back to black, was wearing a air jordan shirt with wings and said that he'd be right back.( also he never has worn came before and suddenly he's wearing it way more often) I just assumed everyone knew he meant he was going to the army. So when he did another live having to actually say he was going to the army explicitly I think he did it out of wanting to be a good idol. Good celebrities express their emotions to their audience. It was strange to watch cause in a way it was real I do believe he was hurting but how he be acting sometimes its concerning. I really dont think he has another area of his life to express that emotional, goofy, childlike self which is basically the real him. The military regardless of which part you are going to is no place to express that side of yourself. I really dont think it was kai of exo crying cause he can't sing and dance I think it was his inner child crying. He cares about singing and dancing but honestly not as much as he outwardly says he does. I think he would be just as happy acting, it's simply that fans didn't really respond well to his acting. Its not just exo he won't be participating in, it's also modeling, fashion, whatever else he does that people don't know about.. anyway he's been noticably holding onto, clinging too, trying to get back the youth he lost being an aspiring child star/ kpop idol. People forget he has headshots from when he was like 8 or 9 maybe 10. His parents more than simply wanting him to sing and dance wanted him to be famous. Its alot of pressure for a kid and it's also is a tale as old as time his story is different from what you usually hear in kpop, he didn’t just audition and happen to get in he was definitely groomed to be in the industry. He wasn't exactly doing youtube covers but if you weave the story together a lot went into him being Kai it wasn't just oh I wanted an Nintendo but I commend him for saying so dedicated to the little script. He never ever gives anymore information about his family or his career origins than he did at debut (trust me I've checked). But weirdly he offers the story without asking.most idols do not do this they stay as vague as possible. But he always has given info voluntarily that sounds odd and maybe didn't need to be said. Like how he looked so feminine as a child multiple people mistook him as a girl, and how his mother used to curl his hair and when he went shopping for dress clothes with his parents the people would bring out a dress instead.. Perhaps it is something important to him or he is trying to hint at something I'm not sure.

Gender fluidity is a mark of childhood I think he holds onto that part of his life where he didn't have to be what society deems as a man.

Regardless I worry about the kid cause I think he uses his celebrity as a comfort when he feels insecure. Like at least somebody cares about him, the real him. But I really dont think that's healthy.

It also really concerns me how when he's alone and it's quiet( no lights camera action) the first thing that pops into his mind when he's just speaking into the silence is to say he doesn't have any friends. He says he is a friend to other people yet he has no friends. He's so closed off even when he's close to people.

I know nobody wants to be lectured but this is why I'm so cringe and like why? when he sexualizes himself. Cause it's so..outside of his box..he is naturally a sensual person theres no issue with that but he's reserved in public. But he has to use his natural sex appeal to sell sell sell and look I understand, that's the world its disgusting, despicable and a complete product of colonialism (I'll get into that later). When he ripped up that sign of himself shirtless on inkigayo I was not surprised at all.

It's more and more common that sex symbols are coming out and saying how irl they are super shy and reserved. One day my sister was watching the Kardashians and I was like lemme just watch and see what this is about. It actually wasn't bad and I'm now convinved it's actually social commentary in disguise. So this episode Scott asked Kim to accompany him to an acting class and Kim was actually super shy and kinda nervous about having to introduce herself in front of strangers. People fail to realize people even when someone seems out of this world they are still a person. Sometimes dehumanizing someone isn't putting them down but lifting them up too high.

I think the deification of Kai both helped him yet hurt him tremendously. Jongin went from being a bullied kid who did ballet to a handsome upcoming idol to be treated like a demigod. Yet that's just how people looked at him, where was the inner work between that. It most likely didn't happen. Which is why he still has bouts of depression despite having such a successful career.

More than comments and likes and views the kid needs prayers.

people need to stop acting like Aang didnt treat Tenzin as his clear favorite and lowkey try to abandon the others. Aang is my favorite in atla and honestly it gives him layers that he was like this. Its so obvious Aang had illegitamate children its not even funny. Aang was not perfect. Aang traveled a lot and mostly with tenzin. The other two were closer with katara. I love avatar fans but sometimes yall forget the writers put subtext for a reason. To read in between the lines. People still think all those lok airbenders came out of nowhere .The characters did not stay perfect children forever. Aang was not a saint. Of course he wanted more airbenders. Those were his people. How would somebody who's people were killed off be turned off by the ideal of bringing them back?

I really do hate the idea that Aang was having kids JUST to repopulate the air nomads. The idea that Tenzin was a third time’s the charm situation, that Aang kept “trying” for an airbender and was disappointed with Kya and Bumi

I honest to god think Aang was not thinking “I hope this kid’s an airbender!” Each time. I don’t think the thought would even cross his mind until someone else suggested it. He’d be typed up thinking about how he’ll balance his new child in his life, Katara’s health, how to even be a father having no parents himself. All of those take priority in his mind

I honestly think Aang would be super appalled by the suggestion that “repopulating” was his goal with his family. What it says how about he thinks of his wife.

If anyone is going to have the thought “I hope it’s an airbender” I’d bet it was Katara. It’s still not why. But she knows and loves Aang and has seen how hard he’s struggled without the airbenders, how lonely he’s gotten, I could see Katara having the thought “For Aang’s sake I hope you’re an airbender” before Aang ever thinks “I hope you’re an airbender”

I don’t know man. This idea is just so gross to me, and I hate how it’s thrown around by the fans like it must be the case, with no room for questions, why ELSE would Aang be having kids?

Rubs me the wrong way. Really does

the difference in interactions when a group is active is like so... Because like on record he was the closest to mark but their personalities don't match. Onscreen he was mark's bugaboo but like as soon as the jig was up it was like they act like 3rd cousin /step siblings. With Lucas he actually wrestled him, which he's never done before with a group member so that's like the most normal male bond he's had. Eggso is like obsessed with the skinship fanservice to the point I don't even know how fans react anymore. They just keep pushing the boundaries. He was trained in that 2nd 3rd gen style of fanservice inspired by Japanese fanservice which is extreme. For me it's like a psychological phenomenon to observe. But it's always the lack of emotion for me. Studying american celebs and how they are in relationship makes it so obvious to see kdolls have BOUNDARIES heavy ones, there's things from debut to retirement they won't do. They might grind and have fun but there's limits. It's different for each person. Sadly people only analyze for what they wanna see. pout pout.

bonus round

taeyong and him were like so adorbs they had such a special bond i cry. like I wanna analyze them but like..i dunno. I just don't like the shipping thing why can't people appreciate a special bond between two people without making it smexual. People are terrible. It was just so funny how in kai's mind him and taemin were gonna be the one's who stuck together in the group and taemin was like nope and started mingling with new people. Then he tried to cling to baekyun and he was busy being the leader. Ten may have intimidated him a bit because he's very out there and free. I caught mark scolding him multiple times and telling him to get off his phone. Hilarity. So then he realized Taeyong was an option and ..wah there's so many things. All fluff aside I think they may have boxed it out a few times and I think sm should release that footage

Men can either evolve or die alone. The women in this movement may not have a spouse or kids but they are building their own community

EL PAÍS English

No dates, no sex, no weddings, no kids: Korean women are standing up to Asian machismo

The movement of the ‘four no’s’ poses strong opposition to patriarchy in South Korea, which has the largest wage gap of the developed countr

Many South Korean women are so fed up with machismo that, in recent years, they’ve taken up a radical stance: refusing to marry, date men, have sex and reproduce. This movement—known as “the four no’s”—began in 2019. It has since spread, in the hope that the conservative government of Yoon Suk-yeol will adopt measures that promote gender equality.

Despite the solid academic credentials of women in South Korea, according to a study by Statista, the gender pay gap is scandalous: men earn 30% more than women. This makes the country, according to the Korean Herald, the most gender-unequal OECD nation.

Added to this is a poor work-life balance in South Korea, as well as a disparity in the distribution of domestic tasks. Women often assume the responsibility of raising children, pushing them to have to choose between working or being mothers. In South Korea, the work week is 52-hours-long.

The ”four no’s” is a desperate cry that arose after the incumbent South Korean president began his term. He has stated his intention to abolish the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family. The repercussions of the so-called “birth strike” have been severe for the country. For three consecutive years, the country has had the lowest fertility rate in the world, with an average of 0.78 children per woman.

“Life isn’t going well for many young people, for whom getting married or having children is no longer natural,” Lee Sang-lim, a demographer at the Korea Institute of Health and Social Affairs, told The New York Times.

The country is on alert, since an average of 2.1 children per woman is estimated to be necessary to keep the population stable. In 2020, the number of deaths exceeded the number of births in South Korea. Many cities are at risk of disappearing in the coming years.

Hawon Jung, the author of Flowers of Fire: The Inside Story of South Korea’s Feminist Movement, tells EL PAÍS that the movement was sparked by the governmental policies in a country that she considers to be very conservative.

“Single mothers are stigmatized, doctors refuse to give IVF to women without a male partner—even though it’s not illegal—and out-of-wedlock births represent only 2% of the total, compared to the average of 41% for women in the OECD. Marriage and childbirth are closely intertwined; women are pressured to sacrifice their career once they have a child or get married.”

Jung believes that the origin of the problem lies in the role of women since Confucianism—the prevailing ideology before the reforms of the 20th century. The philosophy advocated submissive daughters, chaste wives and self-sacrificing mothers. These beliefs were maintained due to a militarized society, where the concept of aggressive masculinity has been prevalent throughout history. This has applied from the Korean War (1950-1953) onwards, through the military dictatorship, to the ongoing confrontation with North Korea.

According to Jung, “countries where parents are more cooperative and have good family policies—such as Sweden—or that recognize the diversity of couples, like France, have been more successful in stabilizing or even increasing their birth rates.”

The movement of the “four no’s” reflects the radicalization of a frustration that has made women even opt to give up sex. According to Jung, “young women don’t consider it worth investing their time and energy into having affairs with men,” as they find it exhausting trying to find one who doesn’t follow patriarchal norms.

Feminist movements have, historically, been very effective in the country, achieving milestones such as the decriminalization of abortion in 2021, or changes in the notions of female beauty. The “escape of the corset” movement, for instance, rejects the rigid South Korean stereotypes associated with women, such as having long hair or following the K-pop beauty concept, which imposes the obligation on women to have porcelain skin, wear perfect makeup and undergo plastic surgery. It’s increasingly common to see South Korean women and girls with short hair, or daring to wear glasses rather than contact lenses. This has been a real revolution.

But there is still a long way to go in a country where gender violence doesn’t always lead to a charge or divorce. According to a survey published by the Korean Institute of Criminology and Justice, eight out of 10 men admitted to having been violent towards their partner.

Jennifer Jung-Kim, a professor of Korean History at UCLA, points out via email that, in order to solve the problems derived from the gender gap in South Korea, gender-based violence must be recognized and prosecuted as such.

“When it comes to the government and corporations, laws and policies must prohibit discrimination and guarantee equal pay and opportunities for women… especially working mothers. Socially, there needs to be a greater support system for working parents, so that either parent can take days off if a child is sick, or to attend a school meeting or event. And single parents, whether male or female, shouldn’t be stigmatized, regardless of whether they are adoptive or biological parents,” she explains.

For Jung-Kim, the most important thing is an internal change on the part of men.

“They must step up and take on household chores and childcare equally and support their wives in their career choices.”

Judy Han, a professor and vice chair of Undergraduate Affairs in the Department of Gender Studies at UCLA, points out that the movement of the “four no’s” is an invitation to rebuild society.

“Can we imagine a world where women don’t have to shoulder the full burden of reproductive and domestic work, without being degraded or exploited? Where they could have marriage equality without throwing away their professional careers? Can women imagine a world without abuse, rape and violence?” she wonders.

This approach could work in many other democratic countries where gender inequality affects birth rates. Faced with an apparently unbeatable patriarchal system, more and more women around the world are choosing to give up having children, because they cannot reconcile their personal and professional lives. The consequences can push governments to act and shape entire societies.

According to Judy Han, “anyone—men and women, straight, queer, cisgender and transgender—would benefit from taking these criticisms seriously and creating a more just society.”

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