All You People Without ADHD Drink Caffeine In The Mornings? Weak Ass, I Take Meth

child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

I keep hate-reading plague literature from the medieval era, but as depressed as it makes me there is always one historical tidbit that makes me feel a little bittersweet and I like to revisit it. That’s the story of the village of Eyam.

i love the concept presented here where sexualities come equipped with at least one slur provided upfront free of charge

my one skill is expertly manipulating the shape of the eggs I’m cooking so that they fit perfectly onto my toast every time

on self love + care:

1. "I treat myself like I would my daughter. I brush her hair, wash her laundry, tuck her in goodnight. Most importantly, I feed her. I do not punish her. I do not berate her, leave tears staining her face. I do not leave her alone. I know she deserves more. I know I deserve more." (i know i deserve more, michelle k)

2. “Don’t forget to love her. The little girl you used to be. Perhaps She lies within you. Untucked. Sleeping peacefully.” (nurture, kiana llanos)

3. "These days I wake up crying

holding myself in my arms

rocking myself like a mother

repeating

it's all right- i'm here." (rocking, nuela archer)

4. "There’s a little girl in my head & she screams 'unloved! unloved! unloved!' every moment of my life (@star-eaters)

"There’s a woman in my head now & she holds the little girl and says “I will take care of you and we will be alright” when the little girl screams and together they are learning how to trust each other" (@antidecay)

One of my favorite character archetypes is "small, cute character that is horrifyingly powerful in their canon"

I mean look at this

These children have fought literal gods and won

the bots are bisexual i repeat the bots are bisexual

PLEASE HELP TRANS WOMEN!!!!!!!!!

I want to prove a point to a coworker of mine.

Pretend this post is the coronavirus.

If you see this on your dash, just reblog it.

Let’s show them how quickly this virus can spread from just one person.