Adhd Gothic

adhd gothic

- your alarm rings but you are too tired. you set an alarm for five minutes later and go back to sleep. when you wake again, it is light outside and the alarm never went off. it was set for five hours later. you could have sworn you set it to five minutes later.

- your clothes are organized in piles on the bedroom floor. occasionally a shirt moves from one pile to another. you do not remember moving it.

- your desk at work is organized but not. “i have a system” you tell yourself. you are worried someone will discover the truth. you must not let others know you are struggling. your desk at work is organized but not.

- you did not take your meds. your brain is static. you did take your meds. your brain is accelerated static. last week your meds worked well. are they working well today? did you remember to take them? did you even refill your prescription last month?

- your assignment is due in november. it is september. your assignment is not due soon. it is end of october, but your assignment is not due until november. it is november 15th. where is your assignment? you go to bed, it is now november 27th. why do you turn in work late?

- you go to work to make money. you know you make money because you are told you do. your bank account doesn’t change much. you spend more because you are told you make money. you haven’t looked at your bank account for a few weeks now. it makes you anxious.

- there was something you were supposed to do. you didn’t do it, and you disappointed someone. you do not know who. it will come to you eventually, perhaps.

- you trip over a half-knit scarf. one of the needles is missing. you tried to learn knitting a year ago and forgot about the scarf. how long has this been on the floor? where is the other needle? you do not remember how to knit.

- you find yourself growing bored and unconsciousness slips into your periphery. you throw yourself into your work. if you are busy you will not sleep. if you are bored you will sleep. fight the sleep as long as you can. you cannot sleep at night.

- you do not eat and you eat too much. 

- your friends ask why you do not reply to their messages. it is overwhelming and you are so tired. you send too many messages at once and are filled with guilt. your friends keep texting you and you do not know why.

- your eyes blur when you read. you skim the words and do not retain. you skimmed this post and did not retain. you do not remember what the first bullet on this post was. you might not have read this last bullet, either. you will still tag the post as though you read it. you understand its essence, and that is okay.

More Posts from Octiainyourpocket and Others

4 years ago

I'd phrase it more this way: it is made to remind everyone (mostly white people) that being queer, trans, or nonbinary is in no way tied to being white. Ex. Trans is not white which means being trans is not tied in any way to the white skin color, which some people tend to *forget* about. And this post is to *remind* them.

Although this is just a different phrasing of the same thought, I don't disagree with you.

Also, it would be cool to see an ND version.

octiainyourpocket - A deep-frozen pocket-worm
octiainyourpocket - A deep-frozen pocket-worm
octiainyourpocket - A deep-frozen pocket-worm
4 years ago

INTP stereotype: genius Albert Einstein, inventions, revolutionary

actual INTP: spending 4 hours to colour the entire screen pixel by pixel using only the pencil tool set… and forgot to save, you idiot

1 year ago

I got, in a row: Anxious transfemme Arsonist gay steampunk princess I mean

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆


Tags
4 years ago

What’s Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS), and why do so many autistic people have it?

I learned about this the other day, when I posted about palinopsia (visual trailing/afterimages) being common in autistic people, and a couple of our followers told me about their VSS. I did some more research, and discovered that I also have it.

Visual Snow Syndrome is a neurological condition that interferes with visual processing. It’s caused by hyperactivity and hyper-excitability of nerves in certain areas of the brain that process visual information.

The core feature of VSS is constantly seeing tiny, fuzzy “feedback” in the environment. It’s kind of like seeing the world through a staticky TV screen. Some people’s visual static is larger than others. Mine is relatively fine-grained, but it gets bigger and more obvious in low lighting.

Some of the other symptoms of VSS include:

Palinopsia (visual trailing/afterimages)

Photophobia (sensitivity to light)

Increased and enhanced ectopic phenomenon, such as floaters, phosphenes, and Scheerer’s phenomenon

Seeing glare, starbursts, and halos around lights

Difficulty seeing at night/in the dark

Seeing random flashes of light and/or color, without cause from the environment

It’s common for people with VSS to experience comorbid migraines, but VSS is not the same thing as migraine aura.

So, why do autistic people often have VSS?

It comes down to the fact that VSS is caused by the hyper-excitability of neurons in areas of the brain that process visual information. A core feature of autism is hyper-excitable neurons, especially in areas of the brain that have to do with sensory processing. So it makes sense that autism would often inadvertently cause VSS.

Here are some illustrations of visual phenomenon that VSS causes, in case you want a better understanding of what the world looks like for me and many other autistic people.

Visual snow/static:

What’s Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS), And Why Do So Many Autistic People Have It?

Palinopsia/image trailing:

What’s Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS), And Why Do So Many Autistic People Have It?

Scheerer’s Phenomenon (tiny bright moving dots):

What’s Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS), And Why Do So Many Autistic People Have It?

Starbursts around lights:

What’s Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS), And Why Do So Many Autistic People Have It?

Floaters:

What’s Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS), And Why Do So Many Autistic People Have It?

I hope y’all have learned something :)

I’ve found it very intriguing to realize that the way I see the world is more unique than I once knew!

~Eden🐢

4 years ago

Shiro: Who hurt you?

Ariel: Do you want a list or what?

Shiro:

Shiro, grabbing her scythe: Yes. 

5 years ago

Anemone runs from starfish

3 years ago

Nintendo paywalling to the ability to play classic n64 and sega genesis behind a second paid online membership

so yes emulating is still morally right fuck these bastards

5 years ago

The Enneagram, Simplified

Below is a simplified overview of the Enneagram types and their wings, useful for introducing people to the theory objectively – I tried my best to keep all descriptions unbiased and to-the-point. They should be okay to print, too, depending on the formatting. Translations into other languages are available in the notes. With that out of the way, the rest is below the cut!

Czytaj dalej

4 years ago

8 am here. Just murder me already

Gooood I mostly wish I was neurotypical not when I can't focus, not when I'm down the hyperfixation-spiral of my own failures and hating myself but when I'm awake at 5 in the morning not being able to sleep beCAuSe BorINg

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octiainyourpocket - A deep-frozen pocket-worm
A deep-frozen pocket-worm

23 she/her

280 posts

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