Onlygodwouldbelieve - Azriel

three points of view

@/briscoepark. “Photos I took in the swamp” twitter, 31 mar 2021.

"I don't wanna bother you"

Have you considered that this is how your presence feels?

i think ptolomaea by ethel cain is one of the most brilliantly crafted songs i’ve ever listened to.

the way it opens with this distorted deeper voice (isaiah) and you hear the sound of flies buzzing in the background underneath the voice, thats such a cool detail. and while isaiah is singing, you hear ethel incoherently mumble (you literally hear her say “mama?” its so 😭😭) as she’s waking up from the drugs. when we finally hear her voice, it’s high pitched, raw, and vulnerable. because of how vulnerable of a situation she is in, but she doesn’t realize it yet because of the drugs she’s on. so this whole beginning is echoey and it captures the whole aloneness she’s feeling.

and then we get a beat drop at “even the iron still fears the rot,” where the instrumentals are a little heavier, her voice is still high and raw but there’s a sense of knowing in it. (“hiding from something, i cannot stop. walking on shadows, i cant lead him back”) as her hallucinations and the drugs start to wear off, she’s facing this darkness that’s been eating away at her with “daddy’s left and mama won’t come home,” which is something she rarely comes to terms with.

then we get that dark distorted voice again saying “you poor thing, sweet morning lamb. there’s nothing you can do, it’s already been done,” which is incredibly terrifying. not to mention that deafening crash of the drums, god the way those drums thunder so intensely like you can feel the dread in your bones. and then we hear ethel’s voice again saying “what fear a man like you brings upon a woman like me? please dont look at me..” which refers to when isaiah tells her to “show me your face,” during that line. and she’s pleading for him to stop looking at him, you can’t hear it because it’s in the background but he says “come here,” and right after you hear ethel say “i can see it in your eyes, tell me, what have you done?” which then goes into a sea of begs and pleas for him to “stop, stop” until the final “stop” is not sung, but instead a bone chilling shrill shriek. which is cut off by “i am the face of love’s rage.” and if you listen to the acapella, during “i am the face of love’s rage,” right underneath that main vocal, you hear a second high pitched scream, you hear bundles “no’s” and even a “no! please!” which i think ties the story really well together.

in the acapella, while “blessed be the daughters of cain,” is being read out, you can hear the gargling and choking noises as ethel is struggling to breathe and as she’s literally dying its really sickening but so well executed from an artist perspective. and then at the very very end, you hear a death rattle like that is INSANE

i love ptolomaea, i love how the instrumentals create such a unique atmosphere that makes it as terrifying as it sounds and how hayden uses her voice in different ways to tell the story effectively. and it works, it all works.

ptolomaea is the best song on preacher’s daughter thank you for coming to my ted talk

my green grey little state

Twin Peaks: Fire walk with Me (1992) David Lynch

a cat on a tree

I will claw my way back to the Great Dark and we will not speak of this place again