Otomedetective - Local Aro Otome Lover

Aromanticism and Otome Games

I am an aromantic who loves otome games. It may seem incredibly contradictory, especially since a common perception of otome is that it's solely wish-fulfillment games for people to insert themselves into a story where they date attractive men. There's definitely nothing wrong with playing them in that way, and many people get a lot of enjoyment out of them, but that isn't the only way to play an otome game. In fact, many otome game players prefer not to self-insert at all and I’m one of them!

My personal experience being aromantic means I do not feel romantic attraction to anyone, and I do not desire or need a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled in life. I’m perfectly happy with my platonic bonds and my perpetual singleness! That’s how I experience it, but there are many different ways to be aromantic, and there’s no one universal experience that defines how all aromantic people live their lives. Some are repulsed by romance and its overbearing presence in nearly all forms of media, and others are comfortable seeing other people experience romance despite not experiencing it themselves (though these, of course, are not the only two groups). I personally lean more towards the latter category. I love romance stories! 

For me, playing an otome game is like watching a romance movie where I get to decide who the heroine ends up with. It's like a shipper's dream! I don’t self-insert because I am not comfortable putting myself in romantic situations, but by observing a fictional couple, I can explore the romantic plots and experiences that pique my curiosity. And let me tell you, I love a good romance plot. Especially one with drama.

A comparison I like to make when people don’t seem to get it is that I also really, really love murder mysteries and tragedies, but I do NOT want to actually experience them myself. What I want for a character and what I want for myself are two completely separate things, so there’s really no contradiction! 

In fact, playing otome games was a big part of my aromantic journey in the first place. I never had crushes as a kid that weren’t forced or peer pressured. When people talk about the characters in their childhood shows that they had crushes on, I can never relate. To me, there were only interesting characters and stories. I’ve never really wanted anything more than that. 

So when my second-ever relationship ended and I was wondering whether I really felt romantic attraction at all, I decided to try otome games. 

I chose Collar x Malice as my first game because, as I mentioned earlier, I am a huge fan of mysteries and tragedies, and the premise intrigued me. Then, throughout my exploration of various otome games (and as I quickly became hooked on them) I tried some games with less developed heroines, specifically made for self-inserting, and found that I couldn’t handle them. Separating myself from the heroine helped me enjoy the games more as I realized that I didn’t actually want to be in these romantic situations myself, but only wanted to enjoy the story.

So what was the point of this whole post? I guess just to share my own personal experiences as an aromantic otome-lover and address the contradiction. Otome games aren’t necessarily mainstream-popular, but they certainly have their dedicated fans, and I’ve really enjoyed the interactions I’ve had so far with these fandom spaces. 

Sure, the primary focus of the games may be pretty boys who you can date, but otome games can also be so much more than that! It’s a genre I’m glad I decided to try. 

I’m happy to be an aro along for the ride to read some good stories, puzzle out the right route choices, and look at some aesthetically pleasing character designs along the way! :)

Otoge heroines as LIs

❀ Happy first day of spring!~ ❀

L and Light being canonically handcuffed together for MONTHS and nothing ever being stated or elaborated on about their living situation except for one line in the manga about how their shared room is unmonitored is actually amazing for those of us that are fucking delusional freaks. like that is the most batshit insane ship teasing I’ve ever seen and I jump for joy over it because im a sicko

pien olympics

i'm playing persona 5 with the fem!joker mod because i am weird about games where the protag is a guy (would be a LONG rant to explain) but romancing ryuji is reminding me of how much i love ryuji lmao.

side note: i'm not in the fandom but i'm still aware that akechi/joker is the most popular ship but it's really funny to me because. my only experiences with persona 5 are this streamer's playthrough (he called ryuji best girl and always declared his love for ryuji but didn't even notice akechi was gay) and my own playthrough (romanced ryuji before even meeting akechi). as far as i'm concerned akechi is always pining for a protag who is Not Interested and Already Dating Ryuji

omg ok SO! I love Ryuji, that is my favorite guy <3 -- P5 is a game where I chose my fave early and it just never changed for the whole game. Love him lol <3

I played royal on switch, so no mods for me, but the fem joker one definitely looks cool! I would have loved to romance Ryuji as part of the game lol. I chose not to have Joker date anyone in my playthrough just bc it didn't feel natural to me.

Joker/Akechi is a great ship narratively, just because character foils are like that sometimes lmao, and I do really like it, but!! I definitely love Pegoryu too <3 -- The two ships kinda serve different purposes imo -- Ryuji is the cute boyfriend that Joker gets to have a sweet and happy relationship with, and Akechi is the guy he's undeniably intertwined with in an obsessive, dramatic, and kinda tragic way, which is a dynamic that I honestly can't get enough of lol. So I love both for different reasons.

Also I highly recommend playing the FemC route in P3 Portable if you haven't already! It's a great way to experience the story, and she has some great social links (Saori, my beloved 😭💖).

finally caved to the part of my brain that has been desperately wanting to buy Hamefura Pirates and I am so glad that I did this game is wonderful and it reminds me of how much I've missed the anime <3

people have got to learn the difference between I didnt like it and It was bad

genuinely "the best starter VN is the one you're the most interested in" is the best advice there is on the topic. like i even recommend checking out indie OELVNs on itchio and stuff to look for specific niches of subject matter you're into if you just want to see how you vibe with the medium, you don't have to start with the classics if they don't appeal to you and if you DO want to get into the ones that are big in western otakudom it's still a good idea to start with one that's in step with your existing fiction interests

genuinely the only things i'd actively advise against for starter VNs if you're actually interested in getting into the medium for real are "parodies"/"subversions" made out of contempt for "dating sims", if nothing else please start with something earnest and true

hi have u played the transmasc reunion otome. do you want to.

i haven't, but i do want to! it's been on my list for a while lol, but i just remembered it when i saw you were posting about it - it looks really good!