I’d Commit War Crimes To Have A Flat Chest

What is this life?

James was the mum friend in a "wraps you in a soft blanket and makes you tea when you're not feeling well" way.

Sirius needed someone to love him.

Remus needed someone to accept him.

Peter needed someone to value him.

And James made sure each of them went to bed smiling.

Regulus was the mum friend in a "chasing you around the house screaming at you to not put forks in the plug sockets" way.

Evan had no regard for safety, his own or others.

Barty has no impulse control.

Pandora did dangerous experiments on a daily basis.

Dorcas would do just about anything if you paid her enough.

And Regulus was just trying to keep those fucking idiots alive.

"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me."

~ Taylor Swift (Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?) Pairing: none - Rating: T - Write with me!

"I heard he's got millions of galleons in his vault..." "I heard he's got the newest broomsticks years before they go on the market." "Imagine having dinner with the Minister?" "I heard his parents bought an entire wing in the Library." "Merlin, I'd kill to be him." "I heard his Mother hates him because he's queer..." "I heard he was kicked out over the summer!." "Dumbarse, he's losing all those galleons." "Hell, I'd do anything to have what he had."

The rumors followed Sirius everywhere. The whispers about the glamorous life of the Black Family Heir.

He ignored it.

If they only knew what he went home to each holiday.

And she has a BOYFRIEND?!?

never thought about the implications of frederick not seeing annabeth for five years. imagine the last thing you have of your daughter is a broken window lock and an unmade bed with cobwebs hanging from the headboard. and then reuniting with her five years later. and she's a foot taller. and her hair once natural is now braided and upkept. and she learned how to tie her shoes without you. and wow do you even know your daughter? and then she turns to face you from across the field. and her eyes are still the stormy gray that you remember. except they're now calculating and cold. searching for the slightest sign of a threat. and your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach. because look what you put your daughter through.

thank you archive of our own for being the sole reason I don't kill myself

i just know that all the marauders were in james phone as random shit. like not the nicknames but like sirius was called "god favorite incest baby" or some shit like that

craving something sweet?

reblog if youre still not over the library of alexandria

i desperately need toxic moonwater but in a hilarious kinda way. i think it'd be so funny if regulus is a lil unhinged and absolutely psychotic.

someone looked at his boyfriend's way a little too long for his liking? HEXED.

someone getting a little bit close?HEXED. why are you hovering over him you filthy mudblood?!? go away!

remus thinks it's adorable (he likes how possessive regulus is), sirius is very disturbed, james thinks it's incredibly fucking hilarious and so does barty and evan who messes with their little friend by being flirty with remus in front of him LMAO. remus always put a stop to it though before it gets to far because he doesn't want anyone to end up in the hospital again 💀