She’s Mine (just Not Officially)

Hi there please could i get headcanons for umemiya, suo, kyotaru and togame on what their love languages are/how they display their affection?

Love language - sakura, umemiya, suo, kaji, kyotaro, togame, kiryuu

m.list | rules

Note: omg that's my favorite thing to do !! If you didn't ask I would've done it anyway. Thank you so much for asking ! Also !! We're close to hitting 2k ! Thank you sm everyone, I'm making something for you ♡

Sakura - quality time

He's anxious at the idea of touching you to be honest, he needs time for this but wants to in the end. Yet it's too much for him, so instead he wants to spend time with you. At your place or his, when he's walking around the street. He doesn't even try to touch your hand or anything but he's on alert all the time because he would hate himself if something happens to you.

He shares the things he gets from the citizens with you, so he can spend more time with you and you always look so happy when he brings you those small pieces of bread.

Suo - act of service + physical touch

He can tease the shit out of you, he will always do it while carrying your bag or opening the door for you. He wants you to rely on him, to trust him and if you need anything, to just ask him. He will get it for you. You're scared to come home alone ? He'd gladly walk you home. You need to clear your mind or want to see him when he's already busy ? He's not anymore, and he's going wherever you like with you.

He's subtle about touching you, but he's constantly doing it. It can be fixing your hair with a kind smile when it doesn't really need to be fixed. It's guiding you with his hand on your back or letting his fingers linger on the back of your hand and your arm. He sometimes lets his fingers smooth the side of your thighs if you're sitting next to each other. He just really likes it when nobody can really tell. Unless it's Sakura, then he's all on display, hugging you, touching your cheeks and kissing it.

Kaji - gifts giving + word of affirmation

By gifts, I think he wants to give you things like food or candy and eat with you. He feels better when he sees you smile and accept it gladly. Even more if you're not really into sweets. He makes you a playlist out of the blue, with songs you two might like or even listening to your fav artist even if he doesn't like them to make a playlist with the songs he likes so you know.

He tells you things that seem like nothing serious but you know it means a lot for him. He lets you know that he trusts you, that he feels better and calmer around you or whenever he appreciates something that you do. It gets you all the time, making you blush

Kyotaru - quality time + act of service

He's not big for words, instead he wants to do things with you and for you. He kinda follows you around. When you ask if he wants to do something with you, he always nods and carries your bag or what you brought for you. He likes to come shopping with you, so he can nod when he finds something pretty on you.

He also really likes it when you come around and do things with him ! Including gardening, sadly if you don't really like it. But you know it makes him really happy.

Umemiya - word of affirmation + physical touch

He tells you that he loves you or how good you look all the time. He notices every change and compliments you all the time. He lets you know what he likes the most about you, physically or with your personality. It can go from how you styled your hair to you bringing him snacks during the day ‘cause he forgets to eat sometimes.

He’s a very cuddly guy. He always wants to welcome you with a hug or a kiss - mostly both - and same for goodbyes ! Don’t you dare go without kissing him and squishing his hand in yours. He’ll get sulky. You get shy sometimes at the fact that he spends his time with his arms around your shoulders but at the same time that makes you both feel safe that you can’t blame him. 

Togame - physical touch

He’s on you all the time. He likes to have you close so it's easier to check on you and make sure that everything is alright. He can lay his arm around your shoulders, pulling you to him and nuzzle his nose into your neck or cheek. He loves the fact that it makes you blush all the time. He lays his head on yours or your shoulders too, and closes his eyes. He likes to take naps on you as well ! On your thighs particularly. 

Kiryuu - quality time + physical touch 

He really likes to do his own things with you next to him, but literally. He wants to feel your thighs against his. Or you laying on him/his laps while being on your phone or reading and vice versa. It's his favorite place to play video games. It works too if you just want to cuddle and let him play, so that's perfect. He's always holding your hand outside, no questions. He puts it in his pocket if he feels that your hand gets cold. 

Let me know if you liked it !

⸻ ღ ❝ THE NIGHT THEY WAITED ❞

synopsis. wind breaker boys and their reaction when they realized you hadn't come home

ft. ren kaji, hajime umemiya, haruka sakura, jo togame, choji tomiyama x gn. reader (separate)

contents. fluff, angst/comfort, established relationship

REN KAJI ─ ✦.° ✩

KAJI is all but distracted with his own thoughts until he realized that hours passed, and yet, you still had not returned. That alone was enough to worry him, pulling out the lollipop in his mouth and trashing it. Not even the sweet taste of the candy could mask the sour taste pooling in his mouth at the thought that you might be in danger.

He debated back and forth in his own mind whether he should find you and ensure that you are safe, or trust that you are capable and able to handle yourself. Even pacing back and forth in the comfort of his own home with an expression of distaste and blatant cuss words being thrown like clockwork.

Kaji is very easily overstimulated by loud noises (though the ear-piercing rock music he plays on his headphones begs to differ), so the second you return with a wide grin and a voice of steel, he immediately tenses, greeting you with a nod. His eyes, however, betrayed his calm exterior, showing just how much he missed you.

“Sorry for being late, Kaji!” you called out, taking off your shoes and entering the living room where Kaji sat. “Did I worry you?”

Clearly awaiting your presence, he shook his head, but his eyes told a different story, and you saw it.

"It's alright," he murmured.

You sighed, looking a bit sheepish. "I’m sorry if I worried you. I just got caught up helping Mrs. Tanaka with her groceries. Her cart tipped over in the market, and I couldn’t just leave her to clean it all up by herself. Then she insisted on making me tea as a thank you, and, well, you know how chatty she can get."

Kaji’s expression softened. From all the causes he had concocted to himself prior about your odd absence about what could’ve happened to you, he was just relieved that you were here, at this moment, here, with your attention solely on him. “Tch...” he said quietly, reaching out to gently squeeze your hand. “I just missed you, that’s all,” he said softly, his voice barely audible, like he was embarrassed that he had worried so much over nothing. It was so unlike him to be this vulnerable.

Kaji ran his fingers through the middle part of his hair. 'Shit...' He reached out to take your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

You smiled, squeezing his hand back. "I missed you too, Kaji. Let's have a quiet evening together, just the two of us! You know, there was a movie that Ms. Tanaka reckoned to watch with amazing music! Wanna try?”

His shoulders relaxed, and he gave you a small, genuine smile. "That sounds perfect."

HAJIME UMEMIYA ─ ✦.° ✩

The second UMEMIYA realized that you weren’t there to visit him at Furin at the exact time, moment, and second that you always did with a bright smile and cheerful greeting, he felt a sense of unease digging into his gut. At first, he brushed it off from you not having enough time and merely forgetting to tell him. But when Umemiya came home that evening, his heart already pounding with worry, only to see an empty apartment, it only augmented his anxiety that something might’ve been wrong. Still, he remained positive. But hours would go by, and still was no sight of the person Umemiya now utterly craved to see.

Anyone who dared to piss the leader of Furin that day would face his utter wrath, but when it came to you, his anger melted into pure elation and relief, as the moment you stepped through the door, his eyes widened, taking one step another the other to embrace you right into his arms. He couldn’t keep his hands to himself to save his own life. In truth, it was never a question that Umemiya was very physically affectionate, but his reaction tonight was on a whole new level that caught even you off guard.

Before you knew it, you were led to the couch, where Umemiya began to grill you, jumping straight into your lap and nearly knocking you over from the unexpected force. That is, if the couch didn't cushion your landing.

“Where have you been?! What have you been doing! And without me?! I-I was worried sick…”

You sheepishly met his gaze with a grimace, apologizing for not telling him that had plans that day with friends, and saying that you were just caught up in a conversation with the nearby shop owner and helped him to close shop that day, as he was rather on the older side and wanted to spend some extra time chatting.

"Ugh, you always do this! Do you know how worried I was? I thought something happened to you," Umemiya whined, his arms wrapping tightly around you. "You can't just disappear like that..."

He wouldn’t let you go, he can’t let you go. 

With a sigh, you steadied yourself on the couch as he straddled your legs, his face falling next to your hips as he smothered you with his weight. “Ume....” you murmured, running your fingers through his hair. “You know that’s never going to happen.” 

Umemiya’s worried aura was quick to disperse as a small pout tugged at his lips. Every inch of him seemed to revel in the joy of having you back. Umemiya’s hands roamed your back, your arms, and burying his neck in your neck, as if to reassure himself that you were really there. He locked his arms around your waist when you attempted to make an escape from the ticklish feeling of his messy, visibly unwashed white hair brushing against the skin of your collarbone. 

“Ume! That tickles.”

“Too bad, you’re not getting away that easily.”

You smiled. During times like these, he really did look like a puppy.

HARUKA SAKURA ─ ✦.° ✩

The very second his heightened senses kicked in, SAKURA tried to keep calm. Key word, he tried. However, his actions would beg to differ once anyone would see him pacing back and forth, waiting for a certain person to come through that door. The worry that you hadn’t returned yet, even when the sun was past its peak, worried him to no end. What if you were confronted? What if you got hurt? What if… you left him?

His foot tapped against the floor in a rhythmic sound, keeping his arms crossed. Sakura tried to play it cool, but the second you walked through the door, he couldn’t hide the relief in his eyes. You looked to be fine, but what if something happened and he wasn’t aware…? Was there something he—

“Sakura,” your voice broke through the corridors of his mind. “I’m sorry about today, my friends wanted—“

“About time you showed up,” he clicked his tongue with a roll of his eyes.

But you noticed the softening of his gaze, the slight tremor in his voice. He stood there, arms crossed, attempting to maintain his usual aloof demeanor, but the faint tremble in his lips gave him all away. And as you walked closer, you saw the unfurling of his arms, his hands itching to reach out to you. Finally, unable to hold back any longer, Sakura pulled you into a tight hug, his face buried in your hair. His long arms circled you, making their way around your back.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. 

He pulled you closer to his chest and you could feel his heartbeat slowly accelerate. But that wasn’t enough for Sakura to let go. You hugged him back just as tightly, feeling the tension in his body slowly melt away. "I missed you too, Sakura. I’m sorry I worried you."

The second those very words exited your mouth, Sakura pulled back slightly to look into your eyes, his hands resting on your shoulders. “Tch, you can go wherever the hell you want. Just next time, just promise me you’ll let me know, okay? I can’t stand not knowing where you are or if you’re safe.”

You nodded, touched by his unusual sense of concern for you. “I promise!"

"Hah... The hell are you smiling like that for...?" For a moment, you could see Sakura breathe a sigh of relief. 

“If you even know how to text me, that is.”

Sakura’s face exploded. “Y-YOU!!! I know how to use a phone!!”

"Really? Then why don’t you ever reply to my messages?"?"

"HUH??"

Safe to say, he wasn’t very impressed.

JO TOGAME ─ ✦.° ✩

There was a moment of worry when you didn’t show up on time. At first, TOGAME tried to keep himself busy, to focus on anything other than the gnawing concern that something might have happened to you. But the moment you stepped through the door, Togame felt as though a weight was lifted off his shoulders—quite literally. 

You looked to be okay, he thought, and without thinking, he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, his arms wrapped tightly around you. No questions asked, just pure, unfiltered affection. And a rather unexpected welcome home that you were hardly expecting. 

You took a moment to process the actions, eyes darting around restlessly before landing back on the man standing before you. “Well…” you began with a sheepish smile, “I was walking here, and I saw this new food stall that I’ve never seen before. So I went to check it out! Guess I lost track of time, aha...”

When you peered up, your eyes met the pupils of the man who, earlier, felt as though he had almost lost everything. 

“I’m sorry, Jo,” you murmured, bowing your head. “I should’ve texted you when I had the chance. I’m seriously so sorry for worrying you—”

“No… no, you shouldn't be sorry,” he shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. “This is my fault,” he muttered to himself, unbeknownst to you. Something that, deep down, he truly felt that way.

You heard his voice crack like fragile shards, the lump in his throat betraying his true emotions that were so contrary to the aloof facade he puts on in front of others, with his embrace tightening, as if ensuring to himself that you were really there. Togame was so distracted that when he finally let go after what felt like an actual eternity, he saw the bag that you were holding in your hand.

“I- What’s that? I-In your hand.”

“Huh? Oh, this? It's something I brought just for you! I thought of you immediately. They had all sorts of interesting treats, and I remembered how you love trying new things. So, I wanted to get something special just for you.” You laughed nervously, holding up the bag as if to emphasize your point. “I knew that you liked matcha, so I got a portion just for you—”

He hugged you again, not even allowing you a chance to finish speaking. This time, you entirely relaxed your muscles, a smile slowly making its way onto your face as you melted into his embrace, rubbing softly at his lower back.

He cleared his throat, finally pulling back just enough to look into your eyes, reluctantly letting you go. Just for a moment. With a yearning expression, he gazed at you from top to bottom. But it wasn’t so much an expression of worry, but one of pure gratitude. You always thought of him first, and he did the same. As if ignoring all the outside noises, Togame placed his hands gently on the sides of your face, his eyes met yours and shared a smile.

“Welcome home, my love,” he repeated with a tenderness that made you feel truly at home.

CHOJI TOMIYAMA ─ ✦.° ✩

“Choji! I’m back! Oh? Guess he’s not here…” You arrived at your home, but everywhere you looked, appeared to be empty. That is, until a certain someone came up from behind you and snaked his hands around your waist, his breath tickling your ear.

“Well, well!? Did I surprise you?!” CHOJI exclaimed with his signature carefree attitude.

You turned to face him with an exasperated look. “Choji…”

Choji burst into a fit of giggles, but his grin instantly faltered when he saw the tears welling up in your eyes and dripping to the once pristine flooring. “W-Wha— w-why are you crying?!” he exclaimed, his hands fluttering around you in a panicked attempt to comfort you, not like that would work.

Feeling overwhelmed, you lightly shoved him away, “You scared me half to death, Choji!” But that wasn’t enough to push him away, as he curled back right into your arms, locking his arms around your waist to ensure that you weren’t going to escape.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to take so long to come back home…” he whispered, his breath warm against your ear.

“H-Huh?”

“I’m sorry, really. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just... I wanted to surprise you. I missed you so much… because you didn’t come back, and I couldn’t wait to see you. It's been too quiet around here without you."

"Choji..."

You could see the genuine concern in his eyes. The hearts and stars in his pupils were replaced with worry, so far removed from the usual carefree manner and joy he carried himself with. You didn’t expect Choji to be so worried about you coming home a bit later, but that was an assumption that you never should’ve made. Why wouldn't Choji assume the worst after all the crap he’s been through?

You nestled into his arms, "I missed you too, Choji. It feels good to be home." You took a deep breath, calming yourself as you looked at him. The sincerity in his pupils—the trademark puppy eyes—melted away your initial shock, and you sighed. “It’s okay, Choji. I’m happy to see you. I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry about not telling you earlier.”

Choji’s eyes that were so bright widened with guilt, his hands still hovering as if unsure whether to reach out again. His expression softened, and a grin from ear to ear spread across his face. “I promise, no more sneaking up on you,” he said, a hint of his playful nature returning. “I just wanted to make your homecoming special.”

You smiled, reaching out to take his hand. “Well, it definitely was something different.”

He pulled you into another hug, this time more gentle, and you could feel the tension melting away from both of you. “Welcome back,” he whispered, his voice filled with warmth and love. “I’m so glad you’re here. But don’t ever disappear without telling me next time, please~!”

You could hear him pouting, making you laugh. And as his arms spread wide, welcoming you in, you lightly scoffed at Choji’s antics before immediately entering them.

You threaded your fingers through his soft, curly locks of hair, brushing his bangs out of his eyes as he smiled contentedly.

“Yes, yes, I promise.”

©hxnbi. comments, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated ♡

𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐏 𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐒 ( wind breaker character )

a/n: hiiragi sends my tingling into overdrive whenever i see him

consists of : fluff, gender neutral reader, reader is called princess in endo— how the windbre boys carry you

𝐇𝐈𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐈 𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐀, though sharp and all tough on the outside, hiiragi will and will always be a softie inside. won't allow a single thing to harm you, his precious s/o. so hiiragi will carry you in his arms, in a princess carry, that way he can always keep you safe no matter what. his arms caging you in safely, your head nuzzling under the crook of his neck and smelling the familiar scent that keeps your heart beating in a lovely manner that it always sing when you're with your boyfriend. “y/n?” he takes note of your silence, perhaps you were feeling stomach ache? “it's nothing.” you provided, there's nothing more sweet than you being in his arms, after all.

𝐊𝐀𝐉𝐈 𝐑𝐄𝐍, there's a lot of things that kaji finds troublesome—but one of you isn't amongst them, maybe sometimes, he'd proclaimed at your face which is always rewarded by an adorable look of upset that he's quick to quell. he's used to his headphones around his ears, silencing the world, but you offering him the same thing he sought for feels wrong—the silence he so despise. he shifted your position on his back, wishing to hear you ramble once again next to his ear. he has a prominent frown on his face, he doesn't like your silence. “sorry..” he whispered, fixing his hold under your knee, “won't do it again.” so please, talk his ear off like how you used to.

𝐊𝐎𝐓𝐀 𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐎, “tch.” sako clicked his tongue, a blush has settled on his cheeks when you had insisted for him to carry you. as ridiculous as that sounds, even if sako looks like he wants to refuse, he is simply a soft lil blushy boy in front of you. “fine.” he's not used to this, still not, this affection that you offer to him so simply always gets his brain mushed up. shishitoren named him someone who could care less but before you is someone who cares a lot that he's willing to do any requests you want. sako scoops you in his arms, trying to sport a nonchalant look despite your thighs on either of his side and your arms looped around his neck. clinging onto him in a koala position.

𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐎, you always get into fights because of him, his reputation and attitude just sets a lot and you being his s/o makes you an easy target to many. endo never stops though, he likes to see you all riled up, that way he can scoop you up in his arms, your stomach always ending on his shoulder as you dangle and try to make him drop you back down to the ground, fists curled and hitting the low of his back. he is carrying you like nothing but a sack of potatoes. “ah ah ah, stop squirmin' if you don't wanna get hurt.” endo would chuckle, lifting a hand to spank your behind. “stay seated, princess.”

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 : ( wind breaker characters )

a/n : SUMMER VACAY IS SO BORING HNGGG, part 2/3 of long fluff scenarios

consist of : fluff, gender neutral reader, established relationship — relationship thingies

𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐇𝐈𝐊𝐎 𝐍𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐈, once he had you in an ambush, he was too giddy to 'kidnap' you, hence nirei had set up a wonderful idea of a café date. "ah, before anything i bought you some food from saboten! ta-dah! i saw that they have some milk bread and uhmm melon bread—also cream puffs! unless you want something savory? hold on i have some-"

you watch him, having fun with how his expression changes from one thing to another.

"oh! here, do you like these?" nirei showed you a few packet before shoving it in the paper bag and pushing the bag over the table onto you. "you can have them!"

"aki-chan, you bought a lot." you took the bag gently from its place on the table, peeking at the many contents, "this will last me for a few days."

"ah! sorry, was it too much?" he clapped his hand in a praying motion, hissing in grimace at himself for maybe being too overboard with his bread giving.

"it's fine, saboten has tasty breads anyway." you nod, taking one out of the bag and giving it to him, "there's many for us to share too."

"ah" he seems at awe as he pictures you, his blush evident, nirei scratches at his nape as he whistled to himself, "ri-right.. you're right, y/n-chan!"

despite being in a relationship with nirei, he has his moments where he does get shy on you, you noticed that it's specifically when you're acting 'like an angel!' he would say.

"i really like this date idea, aki-chan." you compliment, taking in the scene before you, nirei had taken you into a café where he managed to secure a seat on the second floor where the veranda is. the view of the townspeople below is a nice scene before the eyes.

"really? hehe.." he turns pinkish red at that.

this was a hidden gem since it is located at the second floor, not much people inside so the two of you are given privacy, "how did you find this, aki-chan?"

nirei beams, always eager to tell you informations whether it is regarding people or places that he knows and has interest about, "that's because you mentioned a few days ago that you wanted to try something new! so i gathered and asked a few people around if they know a good place and i was pointed this way."

he proudly beams, teeth out as he looks at you in a bright expression, one out of adoration. to think he even remembered your words and took it to heart.

"thank you, aki-chan."

he stiffens, looking at you in owlish wonder before nodding, "to be honest, i still don't know much about you, y/n-san." granted, the relationship between the two of you is still fresh like dews on a meadow after the rain.

"i- the reason i brought you here was for my selfish desire to get to know you more." nirei admits with a genuine passion in his eyes, reaching for your hand, "please, tell me more about you."

and there is nothing in his hand, not the iconic notebook you've seen him, nor the pen, just him, looking at you with hope and affection in his gaze.

he didn't need his stuff. everything about you, nirei would take everything to his heart.

𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐘𝐔, "here ya go, y/n-chan." kiryu hands you a console with a smile, his soft melodic voice always calms you down.

"thank you, just so you know, i'm not good at this game." you tell him, settling down on the couch as he hums.

"that is fine, this is just for fun."

kiryu smiles at you, his hand, bigger than yours and rougher—with how much he has fought in the past and still does, "here, this is for your character to maneuver and this is how it attacks," and although he speaks, you are distracted with the close proximity that you both share.

"y/n-chan?"

you felt fingers shift your head, delicate touch of his fingers on your cheek, "you good?" he's ever so patient with you.

"mhmm.. i am."

"heh, but you didn't listen to my explanation, didn't you?" he chuckles, pinching your nose lightly as a tease, "i will tell you again, so focus on me, y/n-chan."

true to his words, kiryu didn't performed in a competitive nature as he usually does when it comes to games, deciding to merely idle and have fun with you—although there are many times in occasion that he goes slip into a range of competitiveness before realizing what he's doing and simply relaxes.

although you are briefly aware of the fact that there were multiple times that he has allowed you to win on purpose.

alright, this is enough, he should take you seriously now! "take me seriously for our next game!"

kiryu blinks, surprise at the sudden demand before he eases into your side, "really? then, loser grants one wish of the winner." he proposes. though kiryu doesn't sport a smug look, he is pretty confident with his skills.

you're almost reluctant to disagree until you had an idea, "alright!"

"don't regret it then, y/n-chan." he chuckles.

and the next game started, kiryu, no longer going easy and in ease now started to maneuver his character in impressive ease. though his expression is stiff, his finger movements are flowing and smooth.

just as he is near the finish line with your character next in line, you smoothly shifted to press a sweet kiss on his cheek.

kiryu's finger movements halted and you took the opportunity to place first in order to win.

"i won! i hit the mark!" you cheered, brightly laughing at your win before you're pulled into kiryu's arms.

"you did not hit the mark." kiryu echoes, his hold on you a bit firm but loose enough to be able to escape. "i did!"

maybe he didn't like the idea of losing with a bet in place, moreover, you did kiss him to surpass him in the game. was there something he really want from you?

"no," his voice is breathy, "you didn't." his face neared yours, lightly pressing his lips against yours.

maybe he is right, you didn't hit the mark, but hey, atleast you still won the game.

𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐀 𝐊𝐘𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎, it took a lot of convincing and trials until sugishita finally relents on letting you touch his hair.

it has been months into your relationship that he finally trusted you to.

now you're sitting behind him while he's slump on the couch, leaning against your thighs while he's situated on the floor, a sour look on his face as he repeatedly switch the channels of the television.

"are you comfy, kyo?" you asked, although you know the answer, sugishita won't do something he doesn't like after all.

although you happen to be an exception, with how he hates tying his hair up, always allowing it to flow freely. sugishita merely nod once to tell you he is indeed comfortable in his position.

"you know kyo, many girls would be jealous of how long your hair is, and the fact that it is in good condition." you hummed, picking through the strands to pull at the slight tangles but it is overall a good look with how once a month, sugishita do get the treated.

"hn." he grunted, "are you?" somehow, there's a smug tone in his question.

too bad you can't see his expression.

"lowkey, yes." you sheepishly admit, reaching to bunch all his hair back as you pull on them slightly, fingers starting to braid them.

sugishita threw his head back unto where your thighs are, "don't." he says, brown eyes staring at you.

there is an awful pause in between, at this point in your relationship, you've become accustomed to listening to him well to know whenever he wants to add in a 'but' in his words.

"your hair is fine."

with his eyes closed, he sighed through his nose, almost huffing as you craned your neck, leaning down to catch his expression only for sugishita to beat you to it.

"pretty." and it's almost so soft that you barely caught it, fortunately, with the close proximity, you have it to thank for.

"really now?"

he didn't want you to doubt his words, sugishita nod his head once in a serious manner.

his actions incite a small giggle to escape your lips, "maybe i should braid your hair always if you're this sweet to me." you tease your poor boyfriend who could only blink at you in reply. his mouth parting and his expression, serious.

"i am sweet."

well, he's not entirely wrong.

𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐆𝐀 𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐄𝐔𝐑𝐀, "are you sure i am not heavy?" you question, sitting on his back as he does his push up—his back straight and core tight. this has been a usual with the two of you ever since you've entered a relationship with taiga tsugeura himself, a passionate man through and through. while you don't join him in his exercises, you do help him with it, like for instance, you sitting on his back now.

"nope! not one bit!"

"then isn't my help useless??" he asked you to sit on his back so he could use your weight after all, if you weren't heavy enough, then isn't it all for nothing?

taiga paused in his push up, "ah, maybe i could do plank instead then?" his arms tremble a bit as they adjusted into proper position, now finally feeling the strain but you are sure that this still is nothing compared to the amount of exercises he is used with in doing.

you watch him idly, "your back is.. sweaty." you mentioned, feeling how his sweat stick on the skin of the back of your thigh for a bit, even with him wearing a sleeveless tank top—frankly, you've remembered telling him once that it is called a wife beater shirt but taiga didn't liked it one bit.

"sorry about that babe! you can get off if you want to!" there's sheepishness in his tone as he responds to you.

you shook your head, only to realize that he can't see you before replying, "i can help you in another way?"

"oohhhh! a new exercise way?!" he seems pumped up, enthusiastic for your help no matter how small it may be.

"somewhat." you agreed, setting you feet down the wooden boards before walking in front of your boyfriend, taking a face towel that's folded neatly on the side of his bed.

it was a trend that you once saw, especially used in fanfics, hell, maybe you can do it as well, taiga looks up at you, curious but still with that awfully charming smile that you find so precious.

you lay down, slipping underneath his face so you're looking up at him.

"hi."

"hello," taiga smiled, "you're awfully close."

"i am."

you breathe in before softly explaining how it works. "so here's the deal, you can resume your push up and i can wipe them..?"

"but you're close?"

"then there's a kiss as a bonus?" you offer, a sweet smile on your lips, taiga's lips parted, looking at you in a moment of shock.

"woahhh..." was the only word he can say.

"it- it is fine if you don't want to though-" before you can finish it, you feel a small touch on your lips, your view momentarily obscured by the sight of his adams apple bobbing.

"that works for me, yoooshhh!"

safe to say, he has a newfound strength to continue even more just to steal your lips.

Words cannot explain how perfect this man is

I love you, my darling. Why can’t you see it?

pairing. mitsuya x gender neutral! reader

cw. none, fluff, sweet, hurt/comfort, reader kinda goes through a panic attack. lil suggestive at end, so 16+ are free to interact!

summary. you never feel enough for him. (mitsuya disagrees because he thinks the both of you are like puzzle pieces that have been missing for too long, have stayed too far from each other for too long. he likes how you fit in to his life, snug as a glove).

wc. 1.7k

notes. something i wrote for @kodzucafe’s “a safe space” collab! i had fun writing, solace beloved! and i really did put myself in reader’s shoes and wrote down what i wanted to hear while i was going through a breakdown, which is funny to me bc i originally planned for at least 500 words of fluff, yet here we are. i could not shut up for the life of me and it just kept going on and on. but to anyone who’s been feeling down and undeserving lately, you don’t know how precious you are, do you? me and mitsuya are coming for your hearts with this one. hope you enjoy!

tagging. @festive - this precious bby beta read this mess! @rindove - i hope you enjoy avon bc i wrote this w/ one of our unfortunate flaws in mind and i think you’d get it bestie <3

It’s a little dark out.

The sun peeks just beyond the horizon, lighting up the sky in dark orange hues that make the clouds stand out in their ripples and waves.

The last strands of light hit Mitsuya perfectly, painting him in this fuzzy orange-red tint that makes him glow, highlighting his finer features like his cheekbones, the slim slope of his nose, the almost sleepy tilt of his droopy eyes, and the soft, whispy lines of his eyelashes that kiss the gentle curve of his cheeks.

You have to rub your eyes to make sure the halo around his head isn’t real.

Mitsuya’s sketching something in his designer notebook, crumpled pages of discarded designs litter his desk, the cup of tea you made a few hours ago long forgotten and cold. “Don’t move too much, can’t draw you that way.” Mitsuya mumbles, looking up from time to time as his pencil darts all over the page.

You pause in the position you’re lounging in, stopping yourself from crossing your legs. A book rests face-down on your lap, and you settle for leaving your legs outstretched.

Everything in this moment is beautiful and domestic, Mitsuya’s studio paints a pretty picture as the both of you bask in the remaining hour of sunlight, as the both of you revel in each other’s presence.

Well, at least on Mitsuya’s part, he looks peaceful, but you on the other hand are anything but relaxed or content.

(Because insecurities linger in your head like a pesky tumor.)

Mitsuya’s so pretty, you think. From his kind eyes to his silver-black hair and his caring, nurturing habits. It almost makes you think that you don’t deserve him. Surely someone more attractive, interesting and stable can keep him happy and in love.

Something that you don’t have—you’re always lacking in some way, never complete.

And it’s so apparent at this moment. When he’s working, for something he dearly loves, and you’re over here sulking and thinking and procrastinating, deadlines and work sneaking up on you.

(God, why can’t you ever finish things. Why do they always pile up and multiply, leaving you as the pathetic failure that you are.)

Your mind runs and turns, doing backflips and gymnastics. It leaves you hanging when you need it most for simple, simple instructions, and it always pauses, stuck in an infinite loop that never ends and never moves on. It’s like your brain doesn’t comprehend skipping over the bump in the road to continue on to more important matters and it’s just so fucking—

“Breathe for me, baby.”

Ugly heaving sounds are filling the room, and it takes you a second to realize that it’s coming from you.

It takes you a second more to realize that you can’t breathe.

Mitsuya is by your side rubbing tiny circles into the hunch of your back, trying to straighten it out, trying to stop it from compressing into itself, trying to get you to breathe. Calm down. It’s not that serious. Just breathe. Can you not even do something as simple as that?

When your breathing doesn’t slow down and evolves into gasping sobs, fat droplets of salty tears sliding down your swelling cheeks, he hugs you, tears soaking unfortunately into the shoulder of his sweater. It’s silent as Mitsuya strokes your back, the calm, rhythmic thump thump thumps of his heart guiding yours into matching his.

You take deep breaths to try and calm yourself down, for the most part it worked—however little hiccups still remained. “Do you feel better now?” A stroke of your back and a hum. “You wanna tell me why you’re crying, love?” Mitsuya pulls back with a small smile, wiping your tears away with his thumb.

You take a moment to organize your thoughts.

The feeling of incompetence, the slow build up of your work, the procrastination you set yourself up to all the time, the insecurities of not being good enough for Mitsuya, who never rushes you and waits, still good to you, always good to you, even now.

But the feeling of not being enough is what rushes the floodgates of your tears again.

“I feel useless and like I don’t deserve you.” That’s what ends up leaving your lips in a small whisper, bouts of hiccups echoing in the small space between you, but he still feels so far away.

Mitsuya’s smile starts to fade.

“I’m forgetful, and so stupid sometimes, and you have to repeat yourself for me all the time, and I never do anything right—I never do you right.” You’re huffing by the time you’re done, breathing that all out in one go.

“Is that it?” You take a second to think over everything that’s been plaguing your mind for the past few hours you’ve been cooped up in here with him, you nod your head. “Good, now it’s my turn.”

Mitsuya’s grip on you tightens just a little, never enough to hurt you—never, he wouldn’t dare dream of it either—but just enough to let you know that he’s serious, and that he won’t allow you to brush anything off because he means all of it.

“You’re not stupid, baby. You just need a bit more time to process things, and that’s okay. Because I’d gladly give you all of my time, so take your time when you talk. I wanna hear everything your pretty head has to say.” He kisses your forehead, then a peck on the lips to seal the deal.

“I don’t mind that you’re forgetful. Doesn’t matter if I sound like a broken record sometimes because I’d rather you be peaceful and eased, even if some things slip through the cracks of your beautiful mind.” He murmurs above your head, chin resting on the lovely bundle of nerves and cells, your hair soft to the touch on his jaw.

“And don’t say you feel incompetent or enough for me because you’re all I’ve imagined wanting and more, perfect and mine, and don’t you even think that you’re not pretty.” Mitsuya pulls back again, walking over to his desk to grab his sketchbook.

He takes a moment looking over the sketch with fond eyes that swivel around, before pausing and walking back to you.

“Can someone not beautiful and stunning—can someone that’s not you, you—get me to make a design like this?” Mitsuya turns the book around, and his eyes shine when he says, “This is all you. I made this with you in mind.”

Rough strokes of a body donning a sleek, baggy coat, beige pants, and a shiny pair of black shoes lie on the page. Sewed roses and little decorative pins stick out of the coat, a pink bow tied at the collar, a pretty beret resting comfortably at the head, and dangly silver earrings with rose quartz stones that sit prettily next to a pair of jaws similar to your own.

In fact, everything in the outfit are colors that Mitsuya’s told you would look good on you, would make your appearance pop, if you wore them. Expensive and cozy and stylish, this outfit is divine. It’s right up your alley.

“So tell me again that you’re not beautiful. Tell me again that I deserve someone better because I don’t. I already have the best, wouldn't want anyone else.” Mitsuya softly strokes your cheek, the love in his eyes so bright, so caring—almost as if he was handling fragile glass that could shatter at any moment—you break out into tears a third time, burying your head in the concave of his chest, arms wrapping around you like a warm, fuzzy blanket.

(You’ve never been so loved before. Your heart almost hurts with how much Mitsuya gives you.)

“It’s messy in here, feel stuffy just looking at everything. Maybe we should call it a day and clean up, and when we’re done, we can cook dinner. With some candles and nice music in the back. And we can eat while watching those ghibli movies you love.” Mitsuya’s soft rumble of a voice purrs in his chest, right where you rest your head, the beat of his heart, the smell of your shared detergent and freshener mixed with his crisp cologne is something that finally, once and for all, calms you down.

You’re home, after all—Mitsuya is your home.

Mitsuya loves you so much that he feels a little sick sometimes.

When you’re away, he’s distraught that you’re not with him, and even in the same room, within the same space, he wants you closer, close enough that you fill the empty space beside him, hoping it’s never empty again. He likes how you slot into his side like a missing puzzle piece, your face snug in his neck, your body molding into his, and his arms hooking perfectly into your waist.

He also likes how he fills in missing pieces of yourself, so much that it’s perfect. You’re perfect for him, he doesn’t understand why you can’t see it. He doesn’t understand how you don’t see the way he smiles whenever you’re in sight, how hugging you heals his tired, aching bones from days of hard work, how you don’t feel his heart beating so loud sometimes or how it slows down into content happiness, how you don’t feel the sparks of electricity when you kiss, when you touch.

You and him fall into each other easily, hand in hand, side by side, heart to heart, and like two hands grabbing for each other until they’re finally intertwined.

why can’t you see that?

He doesn’t mind that you’re forgetful or a little air-headed sometimes, like you always worry about, because he reminds you anyways, all the time. You don’t ever need to worry about anything again, now that he’s in your life—and he intends to stay.

He’ll fight tooth and nail if he has to, he’ll keep fighting even when you give up, if he has to.

So how can he not love you? When all of these tiny things about you make his heart fill with so much love he feels it’ll explode?

How can he not, when you complete him? Seeping into the crevices of his flaws and weaknesses like a half-full glass finally being filled.

(But it’s fine. He’ll remind you again and again through each caress of your body that he commits to memory. He’ll tell you over and over again as he kisses your bare skin, mumbling and grunting his praises, worshiping you like a follower to a god, following after you like a bee to sweet nectar. He’ll do all that if he has to because you are worth it.)

FAN BEHAVIOR

characters: dick grayson, jason todd, tim drake summary: batboys with a celebrity! reader content/warnings: fem! reader, fluff

DICK GRAYSON

You’re an actress who has had a meteoric rise, moving from doing small, one-off parts in TV shows to becoming a breakout star on a particularly popular series to being cast in major movie productions

Your stardom is still a little surreal to you and when you’re invited to a wayne enterprise charity gala, you contemplate not going — what business do you have being somewhere with people far more famous than you? But when you tell your agent this, she gives you a look that says you’re insane for even considering declining

You’ll forever be grateful that she urged you to do so because that’s where you meet Dick

He’s standing with Bruce Wayne, chatting with some frequent donors, dressed in a perfectly-tailored navy blue suit when he sees you out of the corner of his eye and he lights up. He approaches you first with that megawatt smile and introduces himself with an extended hand and says, “I’m a huge fan! I’ve been watching your stuff since you were in Legends of the Kingdom!” And the rest is history

Dick goes to every red carpet event you invite him to and he makes it a point to attend every private premiere screening and public opening night

He definitely shushes anyone who talks during your movies or TV shows and does not care if people think he’s obnoxious.

You’re definitely the ‘it couple’ and your faces are plastered constantly on magazine covers and two-page spreads

There are people who try to sow discord in your relationship and their go-to is either pointing out how different you are to Dick’s former girlfriends; that you’re not his type, that this isn’t going to last, etc., or that you’re not talented enough for the fame you have or to be dating Dick Grayson

It definitely gets to you and does nothing to whatever lingering imposter syndrome you harbor but Dick is such a grounding force, reminding you that it’s all just noise and that he loves you completely and unconditionally

At home, he likes to rewind your scenes in shows and movies, and it flatters you as much as it flusters you

He also likes to read through scripts with you when he can and his voices for the various other characters bring you to tears from laughter 

So many intentional and unintentional thirst trap couples pics. Like, a selfie you post one morning — Dick is shirtless and you’re in one of his old t-shirts and its sliding down your shoulder and showing your collarbone and you’re both laying on your stomachs in your shared bed, hair sleep (and sex) tousled with the morning sun making both of you look like you’re golden and glowing 

JASON TODD

You meet Jason as Red Hood first when you’re running from the paparazzi but you don’t know it’s him

They chase you down a couple of blocks before someone tugs you into an alleyway and you’re about to scream for help when you see who it is. Red Hood shields you as the paparazzi pass and when you ask him why he helped you, he simply says, “I hate the paps and you looked like you needed a hand.”

Once he’s sure the coast is clear, he walks you back to your hotel using the back alleys of Gotham. You make several attempts to strike a conversation up with him in the first few minutes of your walk but what seems to catch his interest is when you start rambling on about just finishing Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment. 

You’re disappointed when you arrive at your hotel and you’re rush inside to find a pad to scribble your number on but he’s gone when you return, disappearing into the night

It’s by chance that you meet him again (unbeknownst to you), this time in his civilian identity as Jason Todd. You’re in disguise at a bookstore in Gotham when you bump into him and spill his iced coffee all over both of you, apologizing profusely and offering to buy him another drink, which he accepts. (His voice is oddly familiar to you but you can’t put your finger on why) 

You two keep in touch and start dating privately. The long-distance is difficult at times given your very different and busy schedules and Jason is pretty cagey about what he does but you both make time for each other as much as possible

He tells you that he listens to your music during his workouts and in the background while he’s doing stuff around his apartment. He hums along too.

He recommends your songs to anyone who listens, which raises suspicions in the Batfam, and it obviously doesn’t take long for them to figure out that he’s dating you but he makes them promise to keep it to themselves. 

Whenever you have a concert in Gotham, which you make a point to do frequently, Jason is in the VIP box, bobbing his head and mouthing along to your songs. When it ends, he’s right there backstage with flowers and a thermos of tea for your throat

Your relationship goes public when fans capture of video of you two leaving one of your concerts together, Jason’s leather jacket draped over your shoulders

You eventually move to Gotham to be closer to him and the two of you spend every free moment either of you have together, making up for lost time. 

You still try to keep your relationship as private as possible but fans eat up any crumbs they get, including the occasional selfie of you both 

He is your biggest inspiration for songs and also your biggest help. You love bouncing ideas off of him and he likes sitting with you when you pick at your guitar strings and mumble a half-formed melody

(You eventually do find out that he’s Red Hood when he tumbles through the window of your bedroom, bleeding profusely, and you have to take his helmet off to assess the damage)

TIM DRAKE

You’ve known Tim since you were kids given that your parents ran in the same social circles

You started out as a child model in department store clothing catalogs. Tim did some shoots with you too but while his parents eventually stopped auditioning him for such jobs, you continued until the present day, and you’re now a well-known supermodel 

You two have been friends forever and the internet laps up your interactions together. There are compilations of videos and photos of the two of you at banquets and red carpet events and memes with text like “when will someone look at me like that?”

Before you two even started dating, there were articles about a supposed romance and sexual tension between you two. In interviews, you would vehemently deny anything asked about it and reiterate that you two are just good friends

At some point, however, you start seeing your childhood friend in a different light. He’s kind, brilliant, funny, attentive, and very handsome. It’s not that you didn’t know that before but it’s different now. You find yourself shying away his casual touches and suddenly conscious of your actions around him — did you laugh too loud? Is your hair in your face? Does he know how you feel? Can he tell?

You don’t want to ruin your friendship, as cliche as it sounds, so you did your best to keep your feelings under wraps, which resulted in you distancing yourself. When Tim would text to congratulate you on your latest Vogue cover or runway show, you would simply shoot a simple ‘thanks!’ text back instead of the usual ‘THANK U’ followed by five heart emojis. 

He confronts you about it one day and you’ve never really been a good liar in front of him so you tell him, bracing for a gentle rejection but instead receiving a kiss. 

You made a hard launch post with him on Instagram and received hundreds of DMs of people saying they were vindicated in believing that “friends don’t look at each other like that”

Tim is in the front row at every single runway show you have, dressed impeccably in an expensive suit. He takes pictures of you and visits you backstage with your favorite sweet treat.

After fashion shows and other events, you return to his apartment to let your hair down and put your feet up. You do your skincare routines together, sheet face mask and all, and snuggle on the couch for some TV or just to hang out and talk endlessly

You’re very active on social media with him and you two have a lot of couples posts together. When you both have time, you do Instagram lives where people watch you two make dinner together or answer some questions from viewers. A fan favorite is when you choose outfits for each other.

During a runway, you blow a kiss at Tim in the audience and the camera zooms in on his face, where he just watches you with a lovestruck expression and bright red ears — it’s in almost every video compilation that’s titled something like ‘15 minutes of Tim Drake being a simp’

piercing | suo hayato x gn!reader

✧ "Did it hurt when you pierced your ears?" "Want to find out?"

✧ content: esrablished relationship, fluff, biting (there's one bite.)

✧ a/n: another suo drabble cause I can't get him out of my mind please help me. the overall layout of the drabble might be a bit too much, can't really edit it right now as I'm on vacation, but if it's too blocky I'll fix it once I'm back (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

He mentioned that they were antiques...

You're stricken with the same trivia Nirei had provided you of Suo's earrings whenever your fingers twirl against the numerous golden tassels hanging off the red orb. Careful to not use too much force when you manage to wrap one tassel around your finger in case it were to harm Suo.

The aforementioned man, you notice - is a very pliant lover. Maybe you've picked up on his habit of people watching and observing, but the longer you've been together, the more you notice the small habits he does around you.

Becoming incredibly pliant to your every move and gesture involving him was the biggest habit he's donned. Bending down slightly when he sees your hand reach further up than normal towards him, immediately intertwining your hands when he feels the slightest brush and a recent one you noticed.

"Did it hurt when you pierced your ears, Hayato?" you questioned, your lover opening his visible eye to glance towards you, head still angled while you kept toying with his earring.

He always tilted his head slightly to the side to give you more room to play with his earring, sitting completely still to let you do such for as long as you please.

Suo only straightened his head back up when he felt your fingers leave his ears, instead turning his body slightly to come closer to you. Not that you weren't close from before already, having the habit of sitting directly next to him with a hand between his legs to get as comfortably close as possible.

"Hmm, I got them pierced when I was relatively young so I don't remember. Why, you plan on getting your own pierced?" he mutters, raising his own hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear to look at your un-pierced lobes.

"It would be a bit of shame though to pierce your ears..." he whispers briefly to himself, absentmindedly brushing his thumb against your lobe, pressing slightly at the unscarred skin.

"Mm..!?"

Suo's eyes widen slightly at the surprised noise you make, whilst you yourself hurriedly grab onto the same ear he had just pressed - instinctively pulling yourself a bit further away from your boyfriend. Your lover however is quick with his hands, already having a secure hand behind your back to prevent you from jumping away further.

You don't like how his slightly widened eyes were also mixed with a hint of mirth. "It just tickled a bit, that's all." you hurriedly say in defense, Suo only humming in response which makes your already reddened cheeks deepen further.

"I'm pretty sure though.." he starts, effortlessly lifting you up from the floor to make you straddle his lap, his hands resting on your lower back whilst your hands grab his shoulders to stabilize yourself, "That whether or not it hurts, depends entirely on the person." he finishes, looking slightly up at you with a mischevious smile now that you're more elevated than him.

"Want to find out?" he asks in a whisper, and before you can process what he truly asked, you feel the slight tickle of his hair strands brush against your cheek, immediately followed by a slight exhale against your ear. But before you can ask what he's planning-

Chomp

"Hmn?!" you let out another surprised sound, nails digging into his silk shirt in surprise as you jump up. But Suo keeps a firm grip on you, settling you down back on his lap as you feel the tip of his tongue prod against your lobe before he blows against the area he had just bit. "H-Hayato?" you exclaim in surprise, trying to push yourself away to make eye contact.

You feel his whole body shake in restrained laughter before he finally eases his hold on your waist, leaning back a bit to instead cradle your cheek and give your lips a brief kiss. Separating just far enough to talk, but still close enough for his lips to occasionally make contact with yours if he were to speak. "So? Did it hurt?"

-- Touch deprived boys

✧ or: touch- or not so touch deprived wind breaker boys ✧ featuring: Sakura Haruka, Suo Hayato, Umemiya Hajime, Hiragi Toma & Kaji Ren x gn!reader [separate] ✧ content: established relationship & fluff ✧ a/n: i dropped one suo fic and got busy the same week and fell ill the next week lmfao. hiragi may be a bit ooc - ya know when you know how the characters act and how they are in theory, but can't articulate that in your works? yeah. yeah. this is not proofread we post this without beta-reading like real men.

Sakura doesn't register the feeling at first. To be more precise, he doesn't know what the feeling is at all when it first appears.

I imagine Sakura having a significant other that's the polar opposite to him when it comes to physical touch - as in they would 100% at any given moment when they're together hold any part of Sakura that they come in contact with. (This boy cannot for the life of him shake off anyone he deems close away, grab his hand and lead him on and he will 100% complain the entire way, but he'll never shake off your hand)

Which means that ever since he did start to date you, he wouldn't even know the meaning of what touch deprivation even is - because not a day goes by when you're not touching him some part of him.

So when a day actually comes when you're not holding onto him, he feels genuinely put off. Something is wrong, but he can't put his finger on it. And oh boy does that clearly show on his face. Sakura is after all - an open book when it comes to his feelings.

He's moody, he doesn't snap and yell like usual - but he only mutters answers back whenever someone asks him something. Even to you - if anything, you would think he's mad at you. He's fidgeting with his hands, tugging at his sleeves and averting his gaze from you whenever you ask if he's okay.

He's an open book yeah, but he won't say a damn thing - pride and all.

It'll most likely be in a scenario where you're surrounded by more people than usual that you hold back a bit on showing affection. But still, you're mostly by his side, talking to him, handing him drinks and heck your shoulders brush against each other every time you laugh at something his classmate had said - you're that close to him.

And yet it feels wrong.

"Oh, Haruka your drink is empty. Want me to go grab another one?" you're not even waiting for an answer before you lean away from the wall behind you to head towards the refreshments table on the other side of the rooftop.

It's only when your presence once again leaves his side that Sakura springs into action, reaching out to barely grasp the fabric of your shirt to hold you slightly back. Puzzled, you turn around with a confused smile, only to be met with an equally confused, but frantic stare from your lover. "Everything okay, Haruka?" you ask again, ignoring the fact that Haruka's gaze is looking all over the place but at your own face.

"Y-yeah, why wouldn't it be?" although he says that, his hand is still grasping onto your shirt. A few seconds go by in silence before you feel a slight tug against them - and suddenly every dot in your confused brain starts to connect on his bizarre behaviour today.

Your eyes soften, and Sakura can hear your quiet chuckle when you turn around to face him, forcing his fingers to let go. But before he can ask what you're laughing about, he can feel himself being pulled into a hug, and he can feel your smile against his shoulders as you pat his back comfortably. "You're so cute, Haruka." he can hear you say through your quiet giggles.

You can hear a quiet "Shut up…" from him, but you can feel the way his posture drastically softens under your hug. But before your duo-coloured lover could wrap his arms around your waist, you hear a low whistle coming from behind you. "Naaw, Sakura-kun was missing [Name]'s touch for the day."

And in an instant you're yanked (gently) away by an arms length with Sakura yelling profanities at a laughing Suo. Well at least he's back to normal.

Suo's never "deprived" per say of your touch - because he's the one initiating it 90% of the time.

He's already physically affectionate. He's usually seen having an arm around your waist when you're peering at something, holding your hand when the two of you go for a walk or leaning over you when you're standing still to rest his chin on top of your head (if you're shorter, if not he'll bury his face into the crook of your neck).

And while you don't mind (in fact often times you lean most of your weight on him if he's standing behind you once you feel his presence) Suo does want you to initiate contact once in a while.

But alas those feelings is rarely shown on his face, always sporting a neutral smile to any situation he's put in - no one can tell that he's a bit more troubled than usual.

But what kind of lover would you be, if you weren't able to spot these miniscule changes in Suo? When he now only briefly holds onto your waist to silently announce his presence beside you before retracting his arm back and when he waits for your fingers to graze against his own before he tangles them together?

You do notice, and Suo also knows you've noticed the slight difference in your otherwise normal habits. How you peer up at him a bit longer than usual when he decides to sit next to you in the library instead of behind you like he usually does so you can rest against him. But he only gives you a wide smile in return to your confused glance.

"You know-" you say with a start, seating yourself down on Suo's lap the moment he seats himself down properly on the tatami floor of his room, your lover only wrapping an arm around your back to make sure you don't topple over. "This is a very elaborate way to tell me you want me to initiate physical contact more often."

"Hmm? Whatever do you mean?" he feigns ignorance, merely tilting his head slightly to the side when you twirl your fingers around the tassels of his left earring whilst resting your head against his shoulder. "Why can't you just ask like any other person for a hug or something?" you question.

"That wouldn't be fun. I wanted to see if you loved the physical touch as much as me, after all." he says, and you raise your eyebrow in confusion, "Me not reciprocating your touches was not an answer?" you inquire, raising your head to stare at him, Suo only giving you a smile that seems a bit too mischievous back while shaking his head.

"Initiating and reciprocating are two different things, dear. Initiating takes a lot more courage after all." you only hum in return, resting your head back on his shoulder before taking a hold of his hand to toy with his fingers, bending the appendages while admiring how smooth his skin was - even with all the fighting he does. "I like it when you initiate contact first though…" you murmur in the end. Suo, who had initially thought you had put the matter of his impromptu idea to the side hums in surprise at your quiet confession.

"Why?"

You shrug, deciding to intertwine your fingers together before resting them on your own lap, smiling softly at how Suo's thumb brush against the skin of your hand. "I don't know either. I just know that it's you whenever someone takes a hold of my hand, you do have the habit of grazing your fingers against mine before holding them after all. It's almost like your way of saying hello before we even make eye contact." you tell, "You always reach out for my hand first after all."

You're not staring at him, still busy looking at your clasped hands - but he still smiles down at your form, turning his head to press his lips on top of your head. "Well with such a sweet reason, who am I to not initiate it more then, hmm?"

He makes it known that he wants your touch before you can even tell he's deprived.

Which means he's never deprived, because when Umemiya feels that he needs a hug, he's making a beeline towards you to engulf you in his arms.

Which means there are two outcomes to this. If you're within his sights and he sees you as soon as he wants a hug, everything is A-OK! Umemiya gets his well needed hug to tackle the next set of duties and tasks he has set for himself for the next 3 hours.

If you're not in his arms within the next 10 minutes of him wanting a hug, he's going to talk to his plants like you've gone off to war and won't come back before the next year. Talking about how much he misses your presence, your favourite food, what kind of seed you would probably prefer, how he's found a new book that you love. At this point feel sorry for the person that has to sit through those 10 minutes of constant love declarations. (Hiragi)

And yes, Hiragi has you on speed dial because of this. It does not matter that you've recently been up on the rooftop spending time with him, it does not matter if you've just gone downtown to get some drinks - Hiragi does not get paid enough for this and he will personally escort you back to Bofurin's leader to make him shut up.

You better clear your schedule for the next hour because Umemiya will have you in his arms before making sure you're well fed and spend time with you. He doesn't necessarily have to constantly touch you then - if he can see you within his vision he's already beaming brighter than the sun in the sky.

"Hajime, you're about to squeeze my entire air supply out." you manage to wheeze out while laughing, Umemiya merely burying his face further into your hair while swinging you back and forth in the air.

"You could've told me that you were going to go shop for groceries for Kotoha! I would've helped." he exclaimed whilst putting your down on the ground again, though his arms were still snugly wrapped around your waist and still keeping you pressed against his front. Your own arms around his back when you noticed that he wouldn't budge from this position anytime soon.

"Last time you helped out, you crushed 2 dozens eggs remember? The townsfolk love you too much too, we would've needed more hands if you came along because of the amount of freebies they would give you. Besides she just wanted a few things and I was already out when she asked where I was, so it wasn't too much trouble to make another round through the town." you replied, stepping side to side while pushing yourself against Umemiya, a silent request for him to move backwards towards the wooden canopy so you both could sit down.

Once seated, you find yourself placed on top of Umemiya's lap with his arms still snugly wrapped around your waist, securing your body close to his own when you lean backwards to properly look at him while talking. At this point Umemiya has gone off tangent, eyes brimming with excitement over what had happened on the day you had mentioned the crushed eggs, only stopping his tangent when you bring a handkerchief up to his face to wipe away the dirt.

"… How long have you been in that position?" an exasperated gruff voice questions, and both you and Umemiya turn over to the entrance of the rooftop to see Hiragi leaning against the door.

"Hiragi! You want some water? Maybe some onigiri? Oh right, [Name] had also picked up some snacks!"

"It's been 15 minutes."

"Good grief, Umemiya, let [Name] go aleady, they're not your personal teddy bear."

Hiragi in general is not a physically affectionate person. He doesn't mind it, softens quite a bit when you grasp his hand whenever you join his group when they patrol the town and relaxes his posture while sinking further down the slope of the couch so that you can rest your head on his shoulder - even if the posture itself causes him a bit of discomfort after.

He's quite content just having you walk by his side - as long as he can see you from his peripheral vision or heck, just hear your voice speak from beside him or behind him, he's content.

He does however have his moments. Although it's incredibly hard to spot because Hiragi himself doesn't mind going days without getting a kiss even.

And even when you do initiate the first touch, he handles you like a porcelain doll - almost afraid you will break. You can hug him as tight as you can, he'll laugh and say he's not going to disappear anytime soon, but the hug you receive back is so gentle and full of love it almost brings you to tears alone.

Hiragi is aware of his position within Bofurin, and the fact that his name carries a lot of weight and is known beyond the town - as such he initiates the most contact when you're alone. And even that is a rare occurrence being that you're both busy most of the time.

As such, even though it's rare - Hiragi will show subtle signs that he wants to cradle you within his arms or hold your hand. A gentler gaze when he addresses you - a more carefree grin when you open your arms wide waiting for him to come to you, but even you can see the slight hesitation.

All in all, Hiragi is quite content and rarely gets touch deprived, but no one is immune to their lover asking for a quick hug, even when you yourself isn't much of a physically affectionate person.

"Can I have a hug? Please?" Hiragi blinks slowly in confusion, takes a look behind him before directing his attention to you. "… Did you have to ask me in a sketchy alleyway of all things?" he finally asks, which makes you laugh, hands still outstretched waiting for Hiragi to take the 2 steps to reach you.

"And here I thought I was going to get a lecture from dragging you away from patrolling." you say, now wriggling your fingers to emphasise your current need for a hug from your boyfriend. "Think of it like an energy boost for the day! I know you've been craving a hug from yours truly for a long time after all, it's been a while since your last recharge!" you add on, Hiragi quirking an eyebrow with a smile.

"You're keeping track of them now?" he scoffs, taking the two steps you desperately wanted him to take, reaching out his own hands to intertwine them with your own before holding onto your wrists to rest your arms on his shoulders. "Hehe, next time I should keep track on how many Gas-kun 10 you take." you can see the roll of his eyes as he wraps his arms around your waist while you lock your own arms around his neck, rubbing your face into his neck to breathe in the faint hint of cologne he dons each day.

The arms wrapped around your waist tightens a bit more than usual, and you can feel the stiffness of Hiragi's form loosen "You're on your lunch break?" he asks softly, to which you nod against his neck, "Mhm, have to go back within 10 minutes if I don't want my teacher to give me an earful again." he hums, giving you one last squeeze before stepping back.

He only pinches your puffed out cheeks, "Don't give me that look, I'll come pick you up after school okay? I think Umemiya misses talking to you as well." Upon hearing that, your eyes brighten immediately before skipping past him out of the alleyway, "Promise to not be late?"

"When have I ever been?"

Another boy who does not know how to function when he's touch deprived! But unlike Sakura, he does know when he is indeed needing for some more cuddles than normal.

But he's awkward, he doesn't know how to actually go on about asking for hugs. Yes in his mind it's logical to just straight up ask you for a hug, or if you can just sit in front of him so he can lean his forehead on the nape of your neck and just breathe in your fragrance. Very easy to do!

Easier said than done. Especially when he's the type to not do anything before you give him permission - yes he's still scared of hurting you even though when he's around you, he's fully in control of his emotions and reactions. But there's always a lingering feeling, you know?

Still jumps in surprise at times when you graze your fingers against any exposed part of his skin, but once he sees it's you - best believe he's holding onto you till someone calls him out.

He's more prone to initiate more contact when you're alone, being that in public he's prone to get teased (whether that's voluntarily by his classmates or involuntarily by Umemiya's comments on how soft he's gotten)

So as a compromise to his awkward self when you're in public, you'll get random visits from Kaji numerous times a week - which is a silent request to just have you in his arms.

Kaji's attention is taken away from his phone when he feels your fingers graze against his chin. Glancing down, he cocks his head to the side while pushing his headphones down to rest on the nape of his neck. "What's up?" he inquires softly, you don't say anything at first - merely directing your fingers towards his cheeks to graze against his skin there.

"Weren't you supposed to patrol today?" you ask, bringing your other free hand to push Kaji's hand that's holding onto his phone to your eye level. "In around 15 minutes yeah, I just left earlier." he answers, his fingers that were absentmindedly stroking your head grazing a few stray strands away from your forehead.

"It already takes 10 minutes from Furin to my house though? Shouldn't you leave soon?" you point out, but instead of rising from his lap to let him get up from the floor, you merely roll to your side to bury your face against his stomach before becoming still - leaving Kaji with both arms in the air, waiting for you to move.

"If you let me go, that is." he finally says after a second of silence, he can feel your slight nod before you plant your hands beside him to heave yourself up from his lap. And in the blink of an eye, you're at eye level with Kaji - his breath hitching at the close proximity.

"Don't come back with too many bruises, alright?" you remind, before slotting your lips briefly over his own. As you lean back you pull his headphones snugly over his ears again, mouthing something that makes Kaji roll his eyes. "You still let me inside regardless, so that threat doesn't work anymore."

[ hopeful is your love exposed in daylight–; in which hiiragi walks into pothos just as umemiya tells you to never give up for your crush will succeed // a/n: hopefully not too ooc... ik this man is awkward af ]

hiiragi knows about your crush on him; actually, maybe now he knows about it too well. he'll give you credit, before anything though– you were pretty damn good at keeping it under wraps. you were meticulous.

if you were giving him a gift, you'd make sure to give them to some of the others too in a way that it would take careful notice to figure out that his had a lot more effort put into it than the others.

you didn't talk to him more sweetly than you did with anyone else. you bandaged his wounds every now and then, but then again, you did that to everyone else too. nothing you did could qualify as special treatment.

you just had... exceptionally bad luck, that's all. hiiragi had to pity the fact that your best friend's adoptive brother was a loudmouth– it was honestly a miracle he hadn't caught umemiya's careless blabbering about your crush on him earlier.

it truly was just bad luck that sakura and co. happened to be in the building too. maybe if his dumbass romance sensor hadn't gone off full blast, and suo hadn't started giggling, your ragtag gang would have been able to scramble an excuse up on the fly when he'd walked in to pothos.

and maybe, hiiragi himself was also to blame. maybe he should've kept a straight face when he opened the door right as you told umemiya to shut the hell up. and maybe he shouldn't have crowed a stunned, "what the hell?" which then prompted you to sprint out of the café without a second thought.

"you idiots, look what you've done!" kotoha was the first to yell, jabbing a very accusatory finger at all the boys piled into her café. "what happened to subtlety, huh? keeping secrets? being mindful of others feelings!?"

"weren't you yapping with (name) too?" sakura pointed out dryly. he didn't seem to care, now relaxed that main source of romantic feelings (you) were gone.

"that's not the point–!" she argued back.

they launched into a predictable squabble, dragging suo, nirei and practically the entirety of fuurin into the argument, but for all he'd done, it was surprisingly umemiya who made the most sensible call by innocently blurting out, "shouldn't you go after (name)?"

"ume, why would the person who just got dumped want to see his face?" kotoha interjected, scowling. hiiragi grimaced at the choice of words.

"i didn't dump anyone–,"

"– and that might as well have been a metaphorical rejection," suo quipped, calmly sipping his tea. someone was clearly enjoying the drama. "but if it wasn't a total rejection, then i believe it would be best for you to quickly clear up that misunderstanding," he slyly added.

and that was how hiiragi found himself snooping through all the nearby alleyways as he tried to find you after everyone had unanimously agreed with suo's advice.

he had called out your name aimlessly, the clamminess of his balled up fists annoying him as the whole ordeal gave him mild indigestion. come to think of it, he idly pondered while crunching a tablet with his teeth, the current box of meds i have are from (name) too.

he hadn't thought too hard about why you had the exact brand of medicine that he usually had on hand– he just assumed maybe you needed it too, without questioning why it was fully sealed and unused when you'd wordlessly passed it to him. the more he thought about it the more random– er, well, what he thought was random– occurrences kept flooding into his mind, all in which you'd treat him so sweetly.

his first question was, 'why?' it wasn't like hiiragi had a low self-esteem or anything, but he had to say that there were objectively better looking and more charming people than him.

hell, he was certain he only ever a handful of proper conversations with you– everything else was a variety of random small talk ranging from greetings to nagging about being careful to not get hurt.

you were way too meticulous, if he was being honest. how the hell was he supposed to notice if you never said a thing!?

when he'd finally found you, you were tucked away behind one of the many restaurants, hidden away behind a stack of crates knees drawn up to your head as you buried your face into them.

"it's over, kotoha," you called out without raising your head. hiiragi froze in place, awkwardly debating whether he should clarify he wasn't kotoha. and yet, out of a guilty sense of curiosity, he stayed quiet. "hiiragi will never like me."

that's not true, he thought, he had always been a bit fond of you. it was always amusing to see how despite your regular quietness, your steps always had a bit of peppiness to them when you would come to great customers with a big grin.

you paused for a bit, perhaps taking 'kotoha's' silence as disappointment. "look, i know what you're gonna say– that i shouldn't give up– but it's really over. did you see his face when he walked in? he fucking hates me–!"

"i don't hate you, (name),"

hiiragi's voice cracked towards the end, he realized as he cursed the boyish edge to his voice. his ears felt far too hot but with a sharp inhale, he steeled himself to face your flabbergasted gaze.

"oh my god," you croaked out, flinching like a skittish cat as you immediately jumped to your feet. "o-oh my god," you repeated, the sudden horror dawning upon you. you cradled your hands together in front of your heart, hands balled up as if to protect yourself. "i-i'm so sorry– i– i'm going to leave, so–,"

"hey, don't just– wait!" without so much as even a first thought, he lunged forward, his hands grabbing yours so you couldn't dash away. "don't go running away before you hear me out!" hiiragi didn't mean to chastise you with the same intensity that he used with his underclassmen, but at the sight of your frazzled expression, he couldn't help but sigh. "look, i know you're probably embarrassed out your mind–," that's cute, he thought absently, watching as you squeezed your eyes shut, nodding vigorously to his words, "– but won't you hear me out just this once?"

your eyebrows were gently furrowed as if you couldn't believe what he was saying, your pursed lips quivering as you tried to find the right words. out of habit, you tried to dig your nails into your palms, only to run into hiiragi's hands that were gently cradling yours.

"it's okay. you can keep doing that. i'm pretty sturdy, you know," he mumbled, reassuringly tightening his grip. "enough of that though, do you... really like me?"

the feeling of his calloused fingers against your skin burned as you swallowed down your embarrassment to meekly blurt out, "i'm... i'm sorry. i really do," you admitted, feeling the heat dance up your spine. despite the shade of the alleyway, you couldn't bring yourself to lift your head and meet hiiragi's gaze.

silence hung between you two, heavily. you could feel the embers of his gaze upon your skin. did he hate you? did he think this was awkward? does he dislike whatever the hell you guys were doing? the rush of questions were so overwhelming that it all came pouring out.

"b-but i can fix that!" you hastily blurted out.

"... fix... your feelings?" hiiragi parroted, blinking uncertainly.

"yeah, i'll make sure to stay out of your way!" you suddenly exclaimed, spurred by a bizarre kind of newfound confidence from who knows where. "if you tell kotoha when you're coming to pothos, i can just make sure i'm never there at the same time! that way, you don't have to be uncomfortable," you rambled on.

"you don't have to do that," hiiragi insisted, but you shook your head stubbornly.

"it'll just be awkward to be around your friends if i'm there," you smiled faintly, your gaze glued to the ground. "i would hate to make everyone uncomfortable." you sounded just fine again. in fact, he could tell that if he were to turn you down right there and then, you would do exactly as you were saying, with all the conviction of your heart. but he could see that you were biting your cheek every time you paused.

and to be honest, he was getting sick of it.

"listen to me, would you?!" hiiragi snapped, pressing both of his hands against your cheeks and raising your face up to meet his eyes. he didn't mean to be so abrupt, but perhaps it was just in his nature. "you won't make it awkward for anyone–!"

"y-you don't know that–!"

"– if they do, i'll deal with it." the resolute tone of his voice left you speechless. how could you argue with someone so certain? hiiragi was always charming that way– awkward, and nagging, but when it came down to it, his confidence was outstanding. and it was that confidence that kept you hoping he might feel the same.

you didn't say anything, choosing to bask in the warmth of his palms against your cheeks, relishing the feeling of his thumbs idly padding across your cheekbones to catch the overwhelmed tears that had accidentally spilled out.

hiiragi called out you name, the corners of his lips curling up in a self-satisfied smirk when you finally met his eyes out of your own accord.

"you know, i got tickets for my favourite band recently,"

"o-oh... i'm happy for you?"

"no, numbskull, i'm saying that if you're cool with it, maybe... you could come with?" why the fuck am i embarrassed now? hiiragi cursed to himself, grinding his molars together as if that would somehow make him feel less sheepish.

"you want to go... with me?" you echoed incredulously.

"i... i don't know if i like you as much as you like me, but i'd like to start by hanging out more– how's that?"

you could almost start crying again, but you held it back. "if- if you'll have me, i'd like that," you murmured, fully entranced by the triumphant grin he flashed you,

"then it's a date!"

it took a moment for you to process what he said, and when it clicked, your legs gave out. hiiragi's reflexes were quick, however, so instead of toppling to the ground, he helped you clumsily sit down on the pavement.

to be honest, that– that was a sensory overload; it wasn't just the relief that had suddenly flooded into your system, it was his palm was flat against your back, it was the first grip around your arm, it was that maddening scent of his cologne, and it was the concerned timbre of his voice as he fretted over you.

"i'm fine, i'm fine," you reassured, fruitlessly trying to calm your blushing profile by fanning yourself with one hand while the other tugged on his jacket to get his attention. "uhm, but why are you blushing?" you suddenly blurted out, curiously gazing at him.

indeed, hiiragi's face was flushed down to his neck; sure, he was acting all high and mighty, but he was just a teenage boy and he had never asked someone out before.

"for no reason! just–! don't look at me for now!" he crowed, pressing his palm over your eyes to obscure your vision– a clumsy, flustered action that reminded you of why you'd fallen in love in the first place.

hiiragi was embarrassed, yes, but the sound of your giggles echoing in the alleyway was enough to make it worth it.

"And I swore I wouldn't curl up in the palm of your hand... But you let your eyes linger on me, and I suddenly can't make a fist."

🌿 kaji ren

Synopsis

You were never too discreet with your fondness for him, and he was never too good at letting people in. And for awhile, it didn’t matter. You settled in the space of friendship, content with your place in his life. But why was he not satisfied?

character: kaji ren x gn!reader word count: 1,897 tags: reader insert, raw confessions, slightly aged up, friends to lovers (if you squint), emotionally constipated kaji ren so i make him face himself

warnings: none

At the instant you tore him a piece of your heart—right away, he knew. It would never be the same for him.

It was then back in sophomore year, when the streets of Makochi haphazardly brought an unsuspecting you, suddenly caught in the crossfire, and Kaji Ren had to throw a punch or two with the tingling from his knuckles exploding into his system. It was when you pushed your soaked suede boots into a warm Café Pothos, hair sticking to your flushed face from having braved the downpour just to meet him, that a dreadful feeling crept behind the cages of his rib, prickling ever so quietly at his chest. It was when you started taking a bit more space in his routine, during patrol when the sun dipped on the horizon, and you would check up on him, that his clammy palms felt too apparent from the uncertainty of your presence.

It was when he could sense your gaze dawdle a little bit on the frames of his thoughts, when your words would thin out into an ellipsis in the discourse, that he suspected a secret dancing on your tongue—one that would ruin him if you did so much as whisper it. With his hands behind him, fingers crossed, he hoped for you not to say it. Don’t. He would not know what to do with himself.

But it was one evening, in June, with the town half-asleep and the hums of the night harmonising with Ren’s quickening heartbeat that you let out the string of words he wished you would never make known. Somewhere between your ‘I like you’ and ‘I don’t think I ever tried to hide it’ hung the silence of his chest—and in it a dropping sensation, like his heart plunged to his gut.

It was painfully obvious, but perhaps the unspoken was a thread Ren held onto dear life for, afraid of the screaming pit right below him if the cord thinned out from the truth. He hoped desperately for you not to say it, for you not to snap his only source of sanity. He knew right away, that if you looked him in the eye and told him he meant something to you, it was trouble he could not solve with his fists.

He could not think straight, and yet, he went with what he thought was best to save himself… from what exactly? He had no sliver of an idea. All he knew was in that moment, you existed, to his doom, and if he did not right his feet now, he could end up with a gash he would only want you to mend. A thought so terrifying to Kaji Ren, he could sense his throat dry up.

“I’m sorry,” was the only thing he managed to utter. Timid, hoarse—as if he himself strained to say it. A part of him thought he needed to hear it more than you did.

You gave him a smile so surely infallible. “I’m okay, Ren. I only wanted it out for the sake of letting you know,” reassuring him none of it would change the way you have been to each other.

But you could not have been more wrong. To Kaji Ren, it changed everything forever.

It started with a slow dance. Between the fear of being known and the ache of wanting to be, tearing the floor open, his footsteps found their way to a new safe distance from you—within reach, but never quite touching... afraid that if you met his skin, he’d melt away to your mercy. He was never the same proximity as yesterday though, and every day, he inched just a little closer. He was well aware of the shortening gap despite his ‘I’m sorry’ from that night in June, but between the fear of being known and the ache of wanting to be, his body trembled at the warmth yours left in its wake.

He started to reach for your hand in every moment you went for the door, but his would freeze and hang suspended in the air, twitching at the realisation that he had given that fortune up when he said he was sorry. His eyes started to drift faintly to the pads of your fingers, staring too much as if willing it to trace his scars carefully. He started to wonder what it would be like to let you touch him in more ways than one, past skin and bones—and he started to ache in his chest, from a want so clever and bold, he wanted to take his apology back.

You acted the same as you had always, just as you said. And it messed with his head when he appeared to be the only one affected.

It was after one of Furin’s clashes with another bandit territory that he was limp on your couch, lips busted with a gaping cut and bruises on the left of his face. He wore a glare of profound irritation, you surmised his altercation with the other group put him in too much of a bad mood. But if the deep furrowing of his brows and the crease on his forehead said anything about his mood, in truth, it was frustration from the intimacy of your warm body adjacent to his cold skin. From the mindful brush of your knuckles on his cheek in patching him up, to the awful confusion of having no idea how to deal with his feelings. Too close, he could feel his pulse drumming from his ears.

You cocked a brow, lightly placing a finger or two on his forehead, softly ironing out the wrinkles from the face he was making under the bangs.

“Relax,” you said with a quiet laugh, in a probably too casual tone for Ren’s own good that he simply abandoned his better judgment.

“How are you so unaffected?”

You paused, fingers falling dead on his temple as he looked up at you from his seat. His dark grey eyes pierced their gaze into yours, never minding the mingling breaths from the closeness, and they seemed to be harbouring a raging storm straining to tame itself. Something you cannot understand.

The question came out of nowhere, and he downed into your stare so firmly, as if bracing for the answer. You blinked. “You’re here now, aren’t you? You could’ve gotten out worse, but you—”

“That’s not what I—” A sigh fell off his half bleeding lips, head dropping back into the headrest as the lump on his throat bobbed up and down from swallowed contention. His stare was glued to the ceiling, and you stepped back, fingers leaving a burn on his forehead, feeling some tension you were not made aware of as you wait for him to add on his thought.

There was a brief silence before he continued, “You were never too discreet with how you looked at me. It was obvious—from the start. I always knew.”

Stillness misted around the room once more, smoking into the cracks of the walls and the space between you and him. Save for the shuffling from his tearing away off the cushion, you could hear a pin drop. Ren bent over to his legs, elbows resting on the tip of his knees as he rubbed on his eyelids with weary circles.

“But I had hoped you wouldn’t say it,” he mumbled in a hushed tone, you almost didn’t catch it. You could not muster up any response, and he seemed as though he had more to tell you, so you let him ruminate in his mind, catching wandering thoughts that swayed capriciously. A quiet sigh left his mouth again. “I desperately hoped you wouldn’t say it out loud... else, I’d have to face it, too.”

“You finally knew what I meant to you...” He trailed off, the last note on his musing drifting into the air, breathless at the height of his emotions. “But I was still stuck on wondering why I was always so out of breath around you.”

Feelings hitched at his throat, and he pushed them down with a gulp. His fingers drummed a slow beat on jeans-cladded thigh, and he seemed to be debating what he would say next. You allowed him time, watching the way his own brows furrowed and uncrossed themselves as he was pondering.

“I was never good at feelings. I was scared.”

It was no secret. Kaji Ren was a man of few words, the everyday lollipop in his mouth stuck for the purpose of barring himself from saying too much past what he would be willing to admit. But the high walls he perched and built through his own calloused hands need not be said—it was a towering piece of evidence: he wasn’t one to let people in.

And it was fine. You respected his space.

“I feared that if I opened myself to it—to you just a little more than I usually do, I’d be giving you the power to hurt me.”

You could feel your own breath shortening, lungs tightening, hardly catching up to the racing of your heartbeat.

“And I swore I wouldn’t curl up in the palm of your hand...” The unexpected softness in his voice did not go by unnoticed. His tone small, only just under the breath, struggling to come alive at his utterance, as if he had sledgehammered his brick walls down to let you see him inside as weak as a whisper. “But you let your eyes linger on me, and I suddenly can’t make a fist.”

You opened your mouth to say something—something to give a pause to the rawness spilling all over the place. Something to slow this all down when you could narrowly suck an air in. But he had more to say, and you could sense the unplanned urgency in his speech.

“I can’t fight back. I think I’ll unravel. I think that I don’t mind being seen, being touched, if it’s you—” A tightening in his throat nearly choked his words down, and he corked up the stumbling by the skin of his teeth. “I think I’m okay if I surrender myself to you—and that scares me.”

The hindmost sentence came out in a hiss, as if it scalded his tongue to admit.

“But I’m more terrified of letting that chance pass up, never knowing how it feels to be held by you, when it’s staring me at the face.”

A pause.

A short silence, allowing his feelings to sink into your own, colliding right in the pits of your chest where your heart rests undeterred. You did not know what to do with yourself.

“So, if I’m not too late... I would really...” He spoke with a sigh, running his hand through his hair, the sweating of his hands too familiar. “I’d really love to hang out with you. I’d love to figure this out with you.”

It was after waging a battle with clutches borne out of personal grievances that Kaji Ren waged a war with his own feelings. Through his rare moment of laying his armour down, cutting himself open for you, not once had he shot his gaze at your direction.

But this time, he finally looked you in the eye.

“I wouldn’t mind resting in the palm of your hand, if you promise I’ll be safe in it.”