liv and lauren asking to have those scenes together, begging the writers to give van a worthy death
liv and jenna coming up with the idea of van comforting melissa after shauna shoots at her
liv watching just off-screen when van dies, needing to be there at the end
find me an actor who loves their character more than liv hewson. you can't.
keep thinking about lottie saying "It never meant what you thought it meant" about the necklace. jackie saying "Now nothing can touch you" when she first gave it to shauna. because hasnt jackie kept that promise? hasnt the necklace protected shauna all along? didnt jackie and javi's deaths keep shauna fed? wasnt shauna wearing the necklace when she gave birth? wasnt nat wearing it when she kept the cabin fire burning to keep them warm? when she led them into a little golden age so prosperous they were wasting food and playing games? wont coach bens death ultimately lead to them being home and safe again? every time the necklace changes hands it coincides with an action that keeps shauna alive. lottie's right, shauna doesn't understand what the necklace means but maybe that makes sense. she never really understood jackie either. jackie loved her and yet shauna chose to see only bad intentions, just like she does with the necklace. when it comes down to it maybe there is no wilderness, no nature spirit or god. maybe it was always just jackie.
what if i use this blog 4 book reviews?
he’s …. no because he’s so baby girl………
pov a wet kitten lets u pet him :’)
(one day he will fully accept and understand that he is worthy of freely given love and affection he WILL!!!)
for anyone expecting to talk to a normal human being for at least the next month this is who you are actually talking to!
”wait- i die??”
van my love oh my god.
her entire existence really is media. it’s all a performance. shes watching her life through the television and reacting to the plot twists as an onlooker. and she dies at the end. the twist is that she dies at the end and now she’s watching herself die and fuck it’s just so real.
we talk a lot about shauna losing jackie and her baby boy and yes those are major traumas. however, i think the moment that truly changed her fundamentally was butchering javi. that moment is truly symbolic of what shes sacrificed for all of the others. she let him die to save nat and then his blood was literally on her hands because no one else could handle the burden of butchering him. this is a kid she LIKED. that she had some small bond with. she had to pull her headband over her eyes because she couldnt bear to look at what she was doing. and the others just left her alone out there cutting up his body because none of them could bear to even watch it. so shauna shoulders it alone. how does the human brain even cope with that experience? especially since every single time gen brings back a kill, shauna has to butcher that animal and relive that moment in some way again and again
and whats crazy is yes shauna resorts to violence easily, shes impulsive and deeply angry, but she doesnt enjoy killing. when she threatened the carjacker her words were much more about the power she felt over him, enjoying the fear of someone who'd wronged her, than actually threatening his life. shes willing to kill for power and control, but her relationship with the actual physical act is complex. sometimes trauma can become strangely familar and soothing, maybe thats why shauna butchers the rabbit in season 1. its like a fucked up coping mechanism based in her need to feel a level of control. and it was okay in her mind, because the rabbit had wronged her, ruined her flowers. but when gen comes back from a hunt with nothing, dont you think shaunas the one who chooses which innocent duck or rabbit has to die so that everyone can eat? like why do you think she cried over the goat? It was probably the first time in her life she was handed something innocent and told, very explicitly, that she was not going to have to hurt it.
essentially what im saying is you dont have to agree with shaunas actions to see her point of view. all she does is feed them. she told them it was what jackie wanted. she told them to wait for javi to drown. each time shes shouldered the actual burden of the choice. and all whilst not even having any faith, in the wilderness or otherwise, to alleviate her guilt. pregnant and starving and she never took extra, she makes sure everyone eats to the detriment of herself, and what does she get in return? shes left alone. in pain. she lashes out at anyone who comes near her and because of it they give up on her, like she isnt what they made her. reliving her trauma every time she peels the skin off a stag. her baby is turned into a diety for a faith she doesnt even believe in. jackie and javi too. the others take her real, human losses and make them mythology, stake a claim on them before shes even had a chance to properly grieve. and ofc these are just kids in an impossible situation needing something to believe in, so you cant even rly judge them for it. but that doesnt make shaunas rage any less understandable
fucking hell
God, the little-kid panic-excitement of Van going “I’m gonna call my mom!” This woman we KNOW isn’t a present or really functional parent, but Van’s impulse is still to reach for her. Van, who has nearly died so many times, who is faced with a piece of tech that is designed to save her life. Who finds it broken. Who finds it just out of reach. You can keep going, but we’re gonna keep pulling that football before you can kick it. You must keep going, but the flames will just keep licking your heels. Of course she grows up fixing old tech. Of course she does. Of course she still dreams of flames. Of course she does.