Rest In Peace Princesa 👩🏽‍🍳 We Will All Miss You

i need him …..

i love you fuckboy jeremy knox. i love you jeremy sneaking into his ex-situationship's room through the window. i love you jeremy stealing a rose from his ex-situationship's garden. i love you jeremy desecrating the backseat of that car. i love you teenage dirtbag jeremy knox. i love you jeremy "why? is warren shopping for a new beemer?" knox. i love you jeremy's satisfied smile after laila asks how he's still talking to sheldon. i love you jeremy lying on the hotel bed with an arm thrown over his eyes. i love you jeremy "i'm not going down on you on linoleum" knox. i love you jeremy taking off his shirt for jean's attention. i love you jeremy "give me his new number and i'll tell him myself" knox. i love you jeremy smiling at the bobcats after they talked shit to his face. i love you jeremy "if i threw a rock into the chasm between your talents and his, i don't think i'd ever hear it hit bottom" knox. i love you captain sunshine jeremy knox who's not afraid to be a little mean. i love you i love you i love you.

Thinking about how every main character on Yellowjackets has lost their other half—the person they were so deeply intertwined with that they built their identity around them, and losing them feels like losing a part of themselves.

“I don’t know where you end and I begin.”

fucking hell

God, the little-kid panic-excitement of Van going “I’m gonna call my mom!” This woman we KNOW isn’t a present or really functional parent, but Van’s impulse is still to reach for her. Van, who has nearly died so many times, who is faced with a piece of tech that is designed to save her life. Who finds it broken. Who finds it just out of reach. You can keep going, but we’re gonna keep pulling that football before you can kick it. You must keep going, but the flames will just keep licking your heels. Of course she grows up fixing old tech. Of course she does. Of course she still dreams of flames. Of course she does.

i feel like im the only one who just feels fucking sad about lottie this episode. shes a mentally ill unmedicated girl trapped in the wilderness trying to live up to the insane impossible expectations put on her by a bunch of scared teenagers. she's trapped in the throes of a twelve month long psychotic episode. she's scared, paranoid, and delusional. she's existing in a state of unreality exasperated by the fact that everyone around her is feeding into her delusions and encouraging them, because if they don't, what do they have ? there's no false hope, right ? only hope. and the only people giving her any pushback or trying to ground her are constantly attacked and ostracized for not prioritizing "the good of the group". and she just fucking killed someone. she's 18 and she killed someone.

do it for him

we talk a lot about shauna losing jackie and her baby boy and yes those are major traumas. however, i think the moment that truly changed her fundamentally was butchering javi. that moment is truly symbolic of what shes sacrificed for all of the others. she let him die to save nat and then his blood was literally on her hands because no one else could handle the burden of butchering him. this is a kid she LIKED. that she had some small bond with. she had to pull her headband over her eyes because she couldnt bear to look at what she was doing. and the others just left her alone out there cutting up his body because none of them could bear to even watch it. so shauna shoulders it alone. how does the human brain even cope with that experience? especially since every single time gen brings back a kill, shauna has to butcher that animal and relive that moment in some way again and again

and whats crazy is yes shauna resorts to violence easily, shes impulsive and deeply angry, but she doesnt enjoy killing. when she threatened the carjacker her words were much more about the power she felt over him, enjoying the fear of someone who'd wronged her, than actually threatening his life. shes willing to kill for power and control, but her relationship with the actual physical act is complex. sometimes trauma can become strangely familar and soothing, maybe thats why shauna butchers the rabbit in season 1. its like a fucked up coping mechanism based in her need to feel a level of control. and it was okay in her mind, because the rabbit had wronged her, ruined her flowers. but when gen comes back from a hunt with nothing, dont you think shaunas the one who chooses which innocent duck or rabbit has to die so that everyone can eat? like why do you think she cried over the goat? It was probably the first time in her life she was handed something innocent and told, very explicitly, that she was not going to have to hurt it.

essentially what im saying is you dont have to agree with shaunas actions to see her point of view. all she does is feed them. she told them it was what jackie wanted. she told them to wait for javi to drown. each time shes shouldered the actual burden of the choice. and all whilst not even having any faith, in the wilderness or otherwise, to alleviate her guilt. pregnant and starving and she never took extra, she makes sure everyone eats to the detriment of herself, and what does she get in return? shes left alone. in pain. she lashes out at anyone who comes near her and because of it they give up on her, like she isnt what they made her. reliving her trauma every time she peels the skin off a stag. her baby is turned into a diety for a faith she doesnt even believe in. jackie and javi too. the others take her real, human losses and make them mythology, stake a claim on them before shes even had a chance to properly grieve. and ofc these are just kids in an impossible situation needing something to believe in, so you cant even rly judge them for it. but that doesnt make shaunas rage any less understandable

fuuuuuuuu k

adam parrish looks different every time you see him. that’s partially demonstrated in the first chapters of cdth, but sometimes his hair is red. sometimes it’s a spunky strawberry blond, or a golden brown, or hay colored yellow. the skin under his eyes is so thin that it gets all purple and veiny, especially when he’s tired but that’s kind of always. sometimes his skin is a sickly sort of grayish yellow but others it’s a dusty tan, a product of working on his cars in the virginia sun. his clothes always seem to fit him differently, it’s the way they hang or perhaps the way he holds himself. every once in a while he has these scary, angry, blue eyes, an inherited gift from his father — but more often theyre the same muddy grey as the sky he looked up at, clouds rolling in overhead, from when he was young. he is stringy and small and six feet tall at the same time. unlike gansey, this has never been “all there is.” and it never will be.

these are all so good i’m throwing up

okay yes to the hc that ronan dreams flowers after romantic firsts with adam (a la rose petals on the bed after their first time), but also picture this: adam wakes up in the morning the day after they said (actually said it no tamquams here) they loved each other OR morning after jordeclan wedding/pynch proposal and the room is FULL of wildflowers. like it looks like they are in a meadow in cabeswater, just flowers EVERYWHERE and ronan wakes up to adam legit laughing his ass off. they both sneeze from the pollen (why is there dream pollen) and have to clean it up but adam doesn’t want to just throw them away so they spend the day pressing the flowers into books, drying them into bouquets, trying to plant them, giving them out in vases to friends, etc.

They nailed it.