RANT TIME!!!

Opinion in the markcest happening in the fandom🎤?

This shit so weird like wdym they fit with each other because they match each other's energy??? Ofc they match, they're the same people just a wee bit different with the obvious killing intent!! I've seen no one talk about it outside that weird area in the fandom. I walked in there and thought it couldn't be that bad right? And saw this abomination of ships and I hope it sinks

RANT TIME!!!

NO CUZ MARKCEST IS ACTUALLY DERANGED. like “they match energy!!” YEAH BABE THEY BETTER THEY’RE THE SAME DUDE. THAT’S JUST SELF-FUCKING WITH EXTRA STEPS. it’s not chemistry it’s LITERAL GENETIC MIRRORING.

they got the same face, same voice, same dna, and some of y’all saw that and went “mmm yes… soulmates.” NO. THAT’S YOU SHIPPING HIM WITH HIS CLONE BROTHER FROM TRAUMA DIMENSION #9. THAT’S INCEST. THAT’S WHAT THAT IS.

and people really out here writing full fics like “omg their trauma makes them understand each other so well” BABE. THEY HAVE THE SAME TRAUMA. BECAUSE THEY ARE. THE SAME. DUDE. this isn’t love. this is multiversal masturbation.

AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON SINISTER MARK LIKE THIS MAN ISN’T OUT HERE EATING HIS OWN VARIANTS FOR BREAKFAST. LITERALLY COMMITTING MULTIVERSAL CANNIBALISM AND Y’ALL ARE MAKING EDITS OF THEM HOLDING HANDS??? BFFR.

AND THEN THERE’S THE MARK X CECIL PEOPLE. i see y’all. i see you. and i wish i didn’t. that man is like 80 years old and evil for fun. why are y’all pairing a traumatized 18-year-old with the government cryptkeeper??? it’s actually sick. it’s not power play. it’s elder abuse. like i’m side-eyeing my screen so hard it might shatter. like be fr. that’s not forbidden love. that’s HR violation fanfic.

what’s worse is NONE of this existed pre-show. like we were all living in peace, mark was punching aliens, minding his business, and then the fandom hit mainstream and ppl started projecting incest kinks all over it like it’s game of thrones. y’all are not well.

i’m sorry but if you’re shipping mark with mark, or mark with cecil, i’m legally obligated to call the authorities and schedule you a group exorcism. log off. touch grass. read a book that isn’t your cursed ao3 drafts. please. enough. this fandom used to be punching aliens and crying over dads and now it’s just incest soup with a sprinkle of elder abuse. shut it down. send it to hell.

ー 🦇