Peppermint-ad - Writer's Block Ahoy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31835872/chapters/78818827

have this (and cringe at my attempt at humor)

(mmm adventures of tired+bitchass DILF constantine and a swearing sunshine 12 year old kid) this is a horribly long list im sorry; im adding to the "john and shazam are dating misunderstanding" hc i saw when browsing

~

due to billy's reaction at canary telling him that john kissed zantanna, word gets around that john is lowkey polyamorous

~

the engagement party is somewhat awkward cuz john and billy are like: ??? what????

billy, as he sees john being congratulated on his "engagement" by the members of the jl: is john getting married to zantanna?

~

i said this before but when the league sees john with billy (without him being shazam/chilling in his true form), everyone assumes that billy’s john and shazam’s adopted kid

green arrow: how's life with your dads?

billy, in his true form, confused: don't you mean dad?

~

when billy (as shazam) accidentally stubs his toe onto something hard, the jl hears the loudest "FUCK!" from him and thinks that he's gotten into john's swearing habits

superman: i see you have gotten some...habits

billy, who swears like a sailor all the time and thinks superman is mentioning his lessons with john: okay???

This is fantastic and cursed, I love it.

~

Captain Marvel: (Injured)

Superman: (panicking) You’re husband is coming soon, just hang in there.

Captain Marvel, who is too injured to understand what was just said to him: k

~

John: He’s a handful to put to bed.

Captain Marvel: Hey, it’s not my fault I want to keep playing!

The entire league, not knowing Cap was talking about animal crossing: 😶

Ace Attorneys.

🖤💚

john telling billy to get beer for him from the local liquor (forgetting that billy is a minor in the process) is something that i think he’d do

Headcanon: Everyone just assumes that between Bruce and Hal that Bruce is the disciplinarian and Hal’s just there to look pretty. But one of these men was raised in a strict military family and the other one drove his butler wild with his rich kid shenanigans. So the JL are in for a shock when BruceHal are off-world on a mission and the Bat kids have somehow set 2/3 of the Gotham harbour on fire. Like the water’s on actual fire. 

Barry: We’re going to tell Batman!

Batkids: *look at each other and shrug*

Batkids: Weird flex but okay. 

Superman: And I guess we should tell Green Lantern as well?

Batkids:…disperse! 

this is their whole relationship

or:

“give my alimony next friday”

“what alimony??” 

“we’re getting divorced”

“WE’RE NOT MARRIED???” 

“I’m getting a divorce”

“WE’RE NOT EVEN MARRIED”

what exactly is the difference between childe and a hydro abyss mage? i mean. they both do hydro, both are connected to the abyss, they both have masks

I feel like xiao would use this to be mean to childe behind his back, like he and zhongli would be on a walk, see a hydro abyss mage, and xiao would be all "hey look it's your boyfriend"

SORRY I JUST LOVE THE CONCEPT OF JUST. ZHONGLI ABSOLUTELY SNAPPING ONE DAY ON THEIR WALKS

man, just realized

black mask is technically a personified oreo in the comics because he (mostly, not all the time) wears an oreo-coloured suit. oh my god.

like imagine, one of the in-law batfamily members get kidnapped by him/his goons and the member is like: “ok disfigured oreo” when mask finishes his threat.  

“that’s not what heroes do”

cant believe dc said that batman cant get it