Harry, Wakes Up With His Arms Wrapped Around Draco: Why Are We Lying On The Grass Cuddled Together?

Draco Malfoy, a summary

What Harry thinks he’s like:

What his friends think he’s like:

What the Gryffindors think he’s like:

What his parents think he’s like:

What the fandom think he’s like:

What he thinks he’s like:

What he’s really like:

Whenever Hagrid finally decides to retire as Care of Magical Creatures professor you can bet your last knut that Charlie Weasley flies back to England the following week excitedly waving his resume and recommendation letters from no less than two Scamanders and the Minister of Magic, Hermione Granger.

Okay this also bothered me

Harry: hey

Voldemort: what the fuck is it now Potter?

Harry: what is with parseltongue?

Voldemort: …. run this by me again.

Harry: like, are we just going to accept that we can talk to snakes for no reason at all?

Voldemort: it’s magic.

Harry: Is it? Because I don’t see any people who speak cat or moose around here. Why snakes? Snake talking seems to be a really stupid and specific thing to just magically happen. I feel like ravens would be much more useful to talk to. Or owls! Owls are magical, it would make sense if some of us could talk to owls, but no, it’s only snakes. Not even lizards or anything, just giant hissing scaly worms.

Voldemort:

Harry: look, all I’m asking is, if Salazar Slytherin’s dad or mum did, or did not- fuck a magic snake.

Voldemort:

Voldemort: get the fuck out of my castle

Reblog if you write fic and people can inbox you random-ass questions about your stories, itemized number lists be damned.

I know it don’t work like that but shhhhhhh, hear me out

Harry Potter AU where they put fidelius charm on Harry himself. Because voldy can’t kill him if he can’t figure out that our boi exists

(Part 1)

Part 2 of the Muggle Youtuber AU in which we get to see Remus’ side of the story

Well he’s not my type but he’ll do.

*FLIPS TABLE*

GIVE ME GRYFFINDOR DRACO. GRYFFINDOR DRACO WHO GROWS UP BEING TOLD THAT HE DOESN’T BELONG IN HOUSE OF THE BRAVE AND CAN’T STAY IN THE COMMON ROOMS BECAUSE HE’LL BE DESTROYED, SO HE FREQUENTLY STAYS AS FAR AWAY FROM THE COMMON ROOMS, INCLUDING HIDING OUT AFTER CURFEW.

GIVE ME SLYTHERIN HARRY, WHO LEARNED THAT HE’D MAKE FRIENDS IN THE HOUSE OF THE SLY AND CUNNING. GIVE ME HARRY WHO IGNORES THE WHISPERS OF HIM BECOMING THE NEXT DARK LORD. GIVE ME HARRY WHO LEAVES THE COMMON ROOM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE IT’S TOO COLD.

GIVE ME RAVENCLAW RON, WHO FEELS WRONG, BECAUSE HE THINKS HE’S THE FARTHEST THING FROM SMART, WHO GETS LOCKED OUT OF HIS COMMON ROOM BECAUSE HE CAN’T FIGURE OUT THE PASSCODE.

GIVE ME HUFFLEPUFF HERMIONE, WHO CONSTANTLY LEAVES THE COMMON ROOM BECAUSE ITS MUCH TOO LOUD. WHO FIGHTS THE STEREOTYPE OF HUFFLEPUFFS BEING LEFTOVERS.

You still with me? Good because remember how I said they all stay out of their common rooms?

GIVE ME ALL FOUR MEETING AND BECOMING ACQUAINTANCES, THEN BEST FRIENDS.

Draco takes time to warm up to them, but slowly starts losing that prejudice(through a lot of corrections from Ron and Harry sometimes Hermione).

Give me them becoming friends and starting house unity.

Give me Draco bashing someone in the face for calling Hermione mudblood.

Give me Harry ruining someone’s status for making fun of Ron’s family.

Give me Hermione chewing someone out for calling Draco a carbon copy of his father.

Give me Ron asking his Fred and George to prank someone bad for starting rumors about Harry.

Give me all of them being protective of each other because they’re the only family they’ve got here.

Please reblog if you think that “they/them/theirs” is a valid set of pronouns.