VON BERGSTROM DIROSSI ANDERSEN PORNS

me during reasonable hours of the day: i never want to do anything in my life Ever

me at 3 am: I Have To Learn How To Play The Piano Immediately

*reading your tags* Yo I heard you like reptiles. Any fun facts? :D

 if a crocodile eats your dad they become your new dad

when ppl write “i probably hate you” in their tumblr descriptions

friend: i’ll pick you up at 5

clock: 5:01

me: wHeRE teh fuKc

any man: trust me

me:

my laptop: *starts hissing and wheezing and got her fans whirring on high speed*

me:

“what’s your favorite game?”