Bro Why Did I Just Get Read To Shit

@vylantrophi i think your grind today passed on to me because I got inspired to make a little something...

Its just a quick sketch rn, but idk if I should go back and color it since I feel like i might ruin it😫 i probably will though...eventually

ALSO IF ANYBODY HASNT SEEN THIS AU ALREADY ALREADY I HIGHLY RECOMMEND CHECKING IT OUT!!

References:

(I created my own pose reference, but my face is in it so you're not gonna see that)

yap post out of curiosity hii!!! so first off!!! thank you SO MUCH to everyone who's shown interest in my tmnt 2012 human au; i was anxious posting at first BUT i feel quite comfortable now!!! x))

so anyway, rn i'm really considering writing the AU story as a fanfiction and not a comic-? like... a fic with at least one drawing to accompany each chapter? because tbh, i've been wanting to write longer stories for a while and i take UNBELIEVABLY long for a single panel cause i adjust stuff till everything lines up exactly down to a single PIXEL... ive been trying NOT to do that but my brain is like. my own nemesis sometimes ffs

so to those interested in the au...

i'd likely make an ao3 account if fic wins, thank goodness u can put images in fics lol... personally i do like reading fics and books tho cause then i can picture everything super cinematic in my head heh heh heh

also if i do a fic for the main story, i'm thinking i'll still do some comics for side stories!!! like i have a few things planned... one of which being casey taking donnie to visit his school teehee which i'd love to draw

I can't fathom the fact that some people watch a movie, show or read a book they like and they just go: "I liked it :)" and that's it....girl how?? Whenever I like a movie, tv show, book or musical I need to inhale that piece of media like it's air, I need to self insert myself in it and create an elaborate plot line for my character in it, then I listen to music that reminds me of the piece of media and think of it 24/7, while obsessively rewatching scenes and analyzing every bit of it till I notice details nobody has seen, finally, I try to convince people to watch it with me so that I can experience it for the first time through them. Then my obsession dies and I feel empty until the next one comes along..... and you're telling me people can enjoy something and just...go to sleep and not think of it again????

☆Art dump with mostly old art☆

(Pt. 1)

hello tumblr, i bring HUMAN TURTLES !!!

ive been falling back into my tmnt hyperfixation (this franchise has a GRIP on me) so i made a blog to occasionally post ab my brainrot, just to destress, lifes busy but u always got time for turtles. :v may post my leo, raph, casey n april designs next + details on their personalities!!!!

also stuffs about my blog and au:

* my names vyle, vy works too!!!

* my fav TMNT iterations r 2012 and rise! will post ab these most of the time.

* my 2012 boys are... a bit different? like they ARE the 2012 turtles, but i recharacterized them independently so i can consistently write them. my headcanons only apply to MY versions, not the canon turtles! :3

* i love humanizing stuff!! but theres a lore reason behind why theyre teenage... ninja... half-humans. might post about my au sometime and explain there. x)

i’m crying 😭

Just gonna mass post all my old tiktok edits, since I don't really post there anymore. (Also going through these has made me realize how much I miss editing. It used to be so fun before I became so concerned with like and views and doing what other people were doing)

Also this is coming at a perfect time for my moot @gh0stified / @hauntedsidebl0g . Glad to see you liked pmmm as much as I did, the doomed Yuri is elite

prank calling a pizza place with fake hold music (gone wrong)

T-pods.

Sabo: loneliness, connection and affection

Trying to organise my thoughts on this matter hehe

I just thought that Sabo's relationship with loneliness and connection are very interesting, and not much people talk about how terribly lonely his childhood days were(even compared to Ace&Luffy).

Ace has been alienated from people from the beginning. Raised in the middle of the jungle, by bandits who never showed much affection, and who repeated the same hurtful words as others did. The state of loneliness is the norm for him. He has never known any other life. Naturally, he'd be protective of what little he has(Sabo) and reluctant to open up and accept new connections(Luffy).

As for Luffy, he has been left alone. Shanks left him after a year staying at Windmill village. Garp constantly took him out of his regular life only to leave him alone in the jungle. And he as well took him away from the village and Makino, after he ate his devil fruit. And while he didn't have [present] parents, he had been cared for. Luffy knows the difference between loneliness and companionship. Which is why he chased Ace's recognition so much.

Sabo's situation is more similar to Luffy's.

But do you ever think that Sabo loved his parents? That he wanted them to love him too? He wouldn't have drawn them if he didn't. He wouldn't be so disheartened at their dismissal if he hated them from the start. But his parents made their love conditional. Sabo had to earn their love and his happiness, while they ignored his pain and attempts to connect. 

And as you know this kind of relationship could leave a lasting impact on how one navigates their future relationships! But on that later😊

Now, Sabo ran away and that opened a whole other can of worms. He's a child, that for five years didn't have anyone to rely on. Of course, Ace was with him, but after he left for the day, Sabo was left completely alone. I mean, at least Ace had Dadan and occasionally Makino and Garp, they shared meals together, he could turn to them in case something happened and they provided him with company and a roof above his head. Sabo lived on the Gray Terminal by himself, in a place where people considered him either a troublemaker to avoid, or a pest to get rid of (those like pirates and bandits). So through Ace and Luffy Sabo gains not only brothers but also other connections and people who care about him! And he welcomes both Dadan and Makino with a bright smile :) Now that I think about it, just like Ace told him about Luffy, he also must've told Sabo about them too🥹

And while all this is nice, his previous problems didn't go away magically. 

(… But his issues aren't stated or shown as explicitly as Ace and Luffy's, so they are easier to dismiss.)

Even though Sabo trusted Ace with his life, he still kept his origins a secret from him, whether it was because he felt them insignificant compared to Ace's or because he feared abandonment in case Ace would be disappointed. And he was more than willing to keep his secret until the very end - Luffy&Ace literally had to beat(strangle) the truth out of him. Sabo also put distance between them in another way too: Ace thought the two of them would sail together, Sabo didn't.

That is honestly also a point to how controlling his parents were. Sabo wanted freedom so much that he didn't mind the loneliness that came with it. Well, he got what he wanted ;) 

Now it would be easy to say that his amnesia also erased his trauma. But it didn't! Sabo still felt hid parents' influence. (And unlike the other weird amnesia case (the sea sure likes to take people's memories huh) - Big Mom - he didn't revert to his younger self, he only lost access to his memories, his feelings and 'character development' remained). If anything it only led to Sabo not being able to identify the cause of his issues → not being able to treat them properly. Now, the RA seem like decent guys, they very well could be the needed support system for Sabo, but again, it's an army with a whole lot of other issues to deal with. So either way his trauma most likely was allowed to fester for a while as we see its consequences show in his adulthood. 

Even though Sabo seems to be doing well as an adult, there's still some signs of emotional distance. He has never reciprocated a hug, even though he doesn't have a problem with physical touch in general, he didn't even think about approaching Luffy in Dressrosa at first and was very tense when actually talking to him. And it's honestly fascinating just how stiff his body language was in Dressrosa (maybe I'll talk about it in general some other time) - be it shock or anger he keeps his arms to his body, unlike Koala or Hack, who choose violence.

He also showed barely any reaction during Vegapunk's speech despite the panelling focusing on him specifically. I'd say he mostly keeps his negative emotions in check, bc in Robin's little flashback he was quite expressive! The main counterpoint is 'special Luff' where he is very open about his anger, but he has a really decent reason for it: his feelings being made fun of. And as you'll see later it's a very sensitive topic for him →

To begin with, he avoids talking about things that have emotionally impacted him in any way.

1.This one might be a stretch, but he begins to talk about his encounter with Fujitora, only not to say anything in the end, idk what's wrong with him; 2. After a very emotional fight with Burgess Sabo dismisses any worries without even mentioning the fight; 3. He refuses to talk with Hack about Luffy, even though we know that he loves to yap about him to Dragon. And that is right after he didn't want to wake Luffy up to even say goodbye! He also changes the topic quickly so Karasu wouldn't be able to further question him.

Even though these scenes are played as gags, he really seems to have trouble with emotional intimacy and opening up about his feelings. And that makes him seem inattentive and irresponsible, thus affecting his relationships with others even more… 

And speaking of which, he is accustomed with either suppressing his feelings or at least just keeping them in check. He hides his worries from his colleagues, appearing as cheerful as always. And during his meeting with Dragon and Iva he brushes aside his guilt and grief for king Kobra (but, I mean it's a work meeting, they need to be professional) and never once he acknowledges his injuries.

And if he's willing to disregard such a thing as grief, how do you think he really feels about his new title, which was gained by the blood of a man he failed to save?

And frankly, right now we don't know much about Sabo! We know about his childhood, and the way he presents himself now(and that is some material to work with), but the 12 years in the Revolutionary Army are a mystery, and again it's an army, I bet he's seen many things, especially considering how high his position is!

tldr: like Luffy, Sabo has a special relationship with loneliness and abandonment. But unlike Luffy, who especially in pre-ts hated separation, Sabo pushes people away. And what makes it even harder for others to connect with him, is that he tends to hide his feelings and problems.

(like a cat)

but again, I might be reading something wrong, my bad