Some Recent Sketches For My New Obsession. Im In Hell

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

one of my favorite sensations is when you can feel the ocean nearby without seeing it

Another day in the lab

in light of Trump's inauguration speech declaring multiple national emergencies that require him to take god-knows-what executive actions immediately, I'd like to remember this chapter of "On Tyranny" by Timothy Snyder:

Sobbing

my daughter

🧡💜🧡💜

"don, let's pretend to whisper to each other and act like we're talking about them" "oh? why?" "to mess with them" "say no more"

menaces, the both of them

AHHH 😭😭

mmm!! i miss summer!!! I miss being a kid!!! I miss girl friends :(

you have no clue how bad it wanted to be a mermaid as a kid

T-pods.

Hair Trigger

Shippy gen, Korekishi Eugene & Shishikuno Mogari, 2.6k words

Three times Mogari refused to acknowledge his love for Korekishi's hair and one time he did.

Or, is it gay to play with your friend's hair?

Cross posted on ao3:

1.

The first time he really takes notice of Korekishi's hair is at one of their sleepovers. Because before that, Korekishi's hair was just, you know, hair. Regular, boring hair that was always tied up in its signature updo—sometimes in class, Mogari would watch as strands of hair slipped out of position and fell into his face, obscuring his vision and tickling the tip of his nose. When that happened Korekishi would blow at them fruitlessly, eventually giving up to go back to taking studious notes.

Alright, so maybe he had taken notice a little while ago, but before the sleepover it was never…weird.

They had all gathered at ‘Zaki's house—their usual spot after going there the first time—and were settled in for bed. The three of them were on the floor, Kanzaki refusing to give up his bed even though there was plenty of room (Kanzaki wasn't at all amused by his begging). Tamon had taken the only spare futon—the result of a winning rock, paper, scissors gane—cozied up in the corner so he had plenty of room for his long limbs. That left Mogari and Korekishi to share some extra blankets and pillows that they had found in the closet, haphazardly thrown together and strewn across the floor, yet still surprisingly comfy.

Korekishi was facing the wall and Mogari was facing him. Because of that he was able to get a face full of Mogari's long hair—much longer than he had previously thought. In fact, with both his hair down and glasses off, Mogari thought that Korekishi looked pretty different. He was mildly shocked when he saw him walk out of the bathroom after doing his nightly routine. It wasn't a bad difference either. He wasn’t quite sure what to think.

But he did know what he was thinking now. He thought that his hair looked pretty damn soft. And that was a totally normal thing to think about your friend's hair. Well, not that he would know since he never had friends his age, but he figured it couldn’t be that weird. And so it also wouldn't be weird to just reach out and…

His hair really was as soft as it looked. Mogari let the silky orange strands run across his curled fingers, letting go as he reached the end. His initial touch was feather-light, still hesitant and careful of waking Korekishi up. But as he continued to gently run his hands through his hair and he failed to awaken, Mogari felt bold enough to begin touching closer to the roots and with a slightly firmer grasp. Eventually, it got to the point where he was only touching the roots, essentially petting him.

The activity was so relaxing that Mogari found his eyes drifting shut, hands still buried in Korekishi's hair. But he was awakened with a jolt when Korekishi started to shift, letting out a pleased hum and moving his head backwards into Mogari's hand.

Mogari had lost any trace of drowsiness and now laid in the dark, eyes wide open and heart beating rapidly. His hands had frozen in Korekishi's hair as well, too afraid to move and pull him into wakefulness.

With extreme trepidation, he cautiously pulled his hands away from Korekishi's scalp, and—ignoring the boy's sad sleepy sound from the loss—shifted so he was laying on his back. He forcefully shoved his hands under his butt, trapping them there so they didn't start misbehaving again. As he stared up at the ceiling, the ambience of the night broken up by soft breathing and the occasional sleepy murmur, he had the vague feeling that he might be screwed.

—

Well everyone has weird nights!

That’s what he told himself the morning after anyway, nodding off over breakfast courtesy of a sleepless night.

And again, it wasn’t crazy weird or anything. Mogari saw the girls in class playing with each other's hair all the time. Granted, he had never seen any of the boys do it, but most boys also didn't have hair as long and as tempting as Korekishi.

He nodded along to his own reassurances, content now that he knew he wasn't being weird at all. Certainly nothing to lose sleep over.

And speaking of losing sleep, he really regretted how he spent his night a few moments later when he fully face-planted into his breakfast. Those other jerks only laughed at him, not even bothering to pull his head out of his plate.

He found grains of rice in his hair for the rest of the day.

—

2.

For about a week, he was able to control his weird—or totally normal—urges.

It was definitely a chore to resist, the pieces of hair that fell into Korekishi's face during class more distracting than ever. But if he could eat a thousand ghosts in a year, then he could muster up the discipline to not touch his friend's hair.

But was it really a matter of discipline when they were sitting on the steps outside the school, Korekishi on the step below him, leaning back onto Mogari's legs? He and ‘Zaki were sitting next to each other, holding a manga between themselves while Tamon sat on the same step as Mogari, both of them looking over the others’ shoulders so they could all read together. Honestly not the best way to read. Korekishi always finished reading first and would try to turn the page, being stopped by all the others complaining that they hadn't finished reading. Ordinarily, Mogari would be the last to finish—which was kind of annoying on its own, since they always had to wait on him to finish which took some of the enjoyment out of it—but now he wasn't reading at all. When they turned the page he didn't complain, not having read anything for at least the whole past chapter.

Instead, he was stealing glances at the back of Korekishi's head, hands twitching and fidgeting.

Eventually he just decided to throw caution to the wind and go for it. It wasn't weird after all.

Trying not to overthink it, he brought his hands up to Korekishi's head, running his fingers through it just like he did that one night.

When he did, Korekishi jumped slightly at the sudden contact, surely making a confused expression that was hidden from Mogari's sight, but after a few moments he settled back into the reading, even leaning back towards Mogari to give him better access.

With the unspoken acceptance, Mogari felt a lot more comfortable than the night of the sleepover, taking advantage of the free reign he was given of Korekishi's head. He would part the hair one way and then another, aimlessly messing with it just for the sake of it. At one point he started trying to braid his hair, although trying to accomplish that with no real knowledge and only going off the sight of braids he'd seen in girls’ hair proved to be an impossible feat.

While undoing the knots he had caused by the failed braid, he ran his hands through his hair soothingly in apology, trying not to tug too hard. He didn't want to give him a reason to make him stop after all.

He finally seemed to find something Korekishi really enjoyed, though, when he started to scratch his scalp like in some ASMR videos he had watched—a new corner of the internet he had become privy to recently. As he started working his fingernails across his scalp and down the nape of his neck, Korekishi let out a barely noticeable appreciative sigh, shoulders relaxing even further.

The sound drew the attention of the others, who had noted the sudden head massage, but chose to ignore it earlier. Tamon and Kanzaki tossed each other a look, both the other boys completely oblivious—Korekishi still peering down at the comic and looking on the verge of drifting to sleep and Mogari focused solely on the back of Korekishi's head. They had a quick debate with only their eyes, thinking about whether or not they should question the weird behavior, before ultimately deciding not to mention it and going back to reading as if nothing was happening.

The behavior continued for the rest of the afternoon as they finished their comic, sun eventually dipping beneath the tree line and painting the city in a warm orange glow. As they all eventually parted for the night, Mogari walked off with his fingers and mind still tingling, unable to shake the feeling of hair like soft downy feathers.

—

3.

With time, they had fallen into a sort of routine.

It was one that left the rest of their classmates staring at them with barely hidden bafflement and judgemental looks—though Mogari had already grown long used to those. From his very limited high school experience he had found that teenagers don’t take kindly to loud, interrupting voices, discussions of ghosts, or the general eccentricities of him and his friends. But as long as they weren’t bothering him, he didn’t really care what kind of looks they were giving him.

Like when he positioned his desk behind Korekishi’s and began to braid his hair in class. Both Kanaki and Tamon had grown used to Korekishi leaving class with a new hairstyle than the one he came to school with as Mogari became more experimental and talented at hairstyling.

He would never admit how much time he started to spend watching hair tutorials on YouTube and Pinterest, blue light illuminating and burning his eyes in his dark room. But, on the bright side, if the whole exorcism thing didn’t work out, he had a promising future as a cosmetologist!

All of this was still happening without any verbal acknowledgement, however. Even though he knew he had no room to judge, Mogari did think it was a little weird that Korekishi didn’t even mention it once, especially considering he was always the first to call out any stupid thing Mogari was doing.

But he supposed it wasn’t a problem that no one was mentioning it. Yep. Not a problem at all! Besides the fact that he didn’t exactly know where he stood now, spending more and more time looking at his friend in class (It wasn't his fault if Korekishi was sitting right in front of him) and even starting to think about him outside of class (thinking of new hairstyles, of course). Definitely not a problem.

“Hey! If you want to braid each other’s hair and paint your nails together, do it after class!” Their teacher yelled from the front of the room, shocking Mogari out of his reverie.

Korekishi also jumped, having been dutifully taking his notes as he let Mogari play with his hair.

The whole class now turned to them, some giggling under their breath while others looked at them in thinly veiled disgust. Mogari quickly jumped to attention, saluting with a “Yes, sir!” before clenching his fists together under his desk.

In front of him, he could see Korekishi’s ears turn red, likely from embarrassment from being caught. As funny as that was, Mogari found himself smiling softly at the sight, he didn’t really want to embarrass his friend. He had already caused him enough ridicule by his peers with the entrance ceremony incident. He should probably get his act together. For real this time. No, really, he’s serious now.

—

+1.

Korekishi and his friends found themselves at an old-fashioned American style diner, having just defeated an evil spirit that was haunting the town’s sewage system—it was one of the few times he was glad for not having any psychic powers, allowing him to claim the spot of lookout and not having to enter the sewers. He didn’t believe Mogari’s “It’s surprisingly clean!” for a second.

They were all squeezed into a booth, squishy red seats cracked and peeling and arms resting on a table with one short leg, causing it to shift every time they moved.

They were some of the only people in there, though Korekishi thought he might’ve seen the student council president in a baseball cap at the bar, so they were able to be plenty loud. They had been there for hours before Kanzaki suddenly said he was going to the bathroom. Right after that, Tamon said he was going to mess with the old jukebox that sat in the corner of the diner, which had been playing an endless loop of Elvis Presley (if Korekishi had to hear Hound Dog one more time, so help him God…).

Only Korekishi and Mogari were left in the booth, sitting across from each other. They fell into a peaceful silence, Korekishi finishing off Kanzaki’s fries as Mogari was on his 6th—or was it 7th?—burger.

As Korekishi popped the last fry into his mouth, however, Mogari broke the silence with a sudden, unexpected question.

“Korekishi…why do you let me play with your hair?” He tentatively asked, eyes averted and a slight dusting of pink across his cheeks.

He was taken aback by the question, thinking that they weren’t going to ever acknowledge it. Ever since the time Mogari had started playing with his hair at the sleepover, he had resigned himself to gentle, if a bit awkward, hands playing with his hair silently. Frankly, the reason he didn’t stop the behavior was because it felt good. It reminded him of the times his grandmother would run her hands through his hair, always cooing at how long it was getting and how soft it was.

He held those memories very dear to him, which is why he never cut his hair short. He wasn’t going to complain if somebody else seemed to find…enjoyment from the fact.

“Why would I stop you?” He asked simply. He knew that some of their classmates didn’t approve, considering it too girly for their tastes. He knew what they really meant. But he had never taken Mogari to be someone who cared deeply about strangers’ opinions. He wondered if that was really where the question was coming from.

“Well, you don’t think it’s, you know. Weird or anything?”

In the background, Korekishi could hear Lesley Gore come on, audio a bit glitchy from the ancient jukebox. The window blinds cast a pattern of slitted light across Mogari’s face, making his skin glow and his eyes change from a deep maroon to a bright ruby red. He looked worried, biting his lip and looking up at Korekishi with pleading eyes.

Korekishi shifted to rest his chin in an upturned palm, darting his eyes away in thought and to avoid looking into Mogari’s puppy dog eyes, face getting ever so slightly warmer. “No, not really. It feels really nice and I don’t have a problem with it. If you also don’t care then I don’t see why it’s an issue. Who cares what other people think?”

Mogari looked shocked for a hesitant second, before breaking out into a wide smile, all teeth bared. “Oh, thank goodness! I was really nervous for a while there, but I guess you’re right.”

Korekishi was glad that the miscommunication was cleared up, just in time for Kanzaki to walk out of the bathroom and join them at the table again. Feeling much more comfortable talking about it, Mogari began to show Korekishi some of the hairstyles that he had looked up (he knew he was getting them off the internet), and laughed imagining Korekishi in some of the more ridiculous ones.

Eventually Tamon came over at the commotion, and both him and Kanzaki realized what they were laughing over. Weirdly enough, both of them let out a relieved sigh when they found out.

“Oh, thank God you guys are finally talking about it.” Kanzaki said, shoulders dropping with the relief of not having to deal with their weird unspoken back-and-forth any longer.

And if their classmates continued to give them odd looks, well, who really gives a shit?