Latest Posts by prtgasluv - Page 2

AM I NO GOOD?

── ♡ MR CRAWLING

from the abyss of your mind, he crawls in. your last remnants of humanity. cw: familial death, suicide idolisation

Your ceiling fan has a creek in it. It groans melancholy as it slowly spins, barely giving enough breeze in your poorly ventilated, dingy apartment. Despite how the sound tempts you to rip your ears off, it still stays on as you lay in bed, vacantly staring at the ceiling as it rotates until you can’t bear hearing it anymore.

Your room is dimly lit, curtains drawn and your lightbulb a mess of shards that you haphazardly brushed aside. You haven’t had the energy to buy a replacement bulb, fix it, and carefully throw away the remains of your old one. The process felt long and arduous, like most things these days. It was taking you a Herculean amount of strength to get up for work, but it’s not what your co-workers or managers see when they cast judging glances at your sunken eyes and unstyled hair. Perhaps, if you had always been this sloppy, their stares wouldn’t have burned holes into you as much. There was a time when you had cared for yourself, your work clothes iron-pressed, hair carefully decorated, and skin glowing. Now, it felt like a distant memory concealed by thick fog in the crevices of your mind.

People were hardly the same after burying their mother.

There is shuffling underneath your bed. Once, the sound had scared you. Now, it’s welcomed. It gives you a faint flutter in your stomach when you see a grey-tinted hand, marred in grime, reach outwards. Reach for you. You lift yourself into a sitting position, and a genuine smile graces your lips when you see him crawl from the space. Appropriately, you named him Mr Crawling. A man with long, dark tresses that fall over his shoulders, concealing his face like a curtain. From the bridge of the nose, in replacement of his eyes, is a wide red slash caked with what you assume is dried blood. His unnerving, foreboding appearance should predictably scare you. Yet, it doesn’t. He is born from the rubble of your mind, how can you hate the only friend you have left?

You have severely outgrown the age of having an imaginary companion, and yet he is an anchor, even if communication is hard and there isn’t much for you both to speak on. You weren’t aching for conversation anymore, anyway.

“Hi Mr Crawling,” You greet him, almost affectionately, and while you know he doesn’t understand your tongue, he seems to have grown used to the syllables that leave your lips and the tone of your voice, a toothless grin stretches across his face as a result. You flop from the bed to the floor, sitting beside him as he perks up straighter, supporting the weight of his body with his arms. He lets you lean into his side, strands of hair tickling your cheek. The gown draped over his body is raggedy, stained and tattered, and yet he seemed the most put-together inside the mess of your home. If you had the energy, you would have laughed.

Your fingers graze his skin and he is ice-cold, like the dead. Yet beside him was the warmest you have been in a long while and you savour it. It’s the closest you have got to another person’s loving touch.

“Work was tough today,” You mumble under your breath, and he stiffens when you speak in his vernacular, or whatever you managed to pick up over the months. “It’s difficult.”

He garbles something close to “Leave” and a breathy, humourless laugh leaves you, hoarse against your dry throat.

“I can’t. I’ll die without money,” Your fingers twirl the end of his hair and he takes it as an invite to drop his head on top of yours, becoming bolder at your contact. “Maybe it won’t be the worst thing in the world.”

He doesn’t reply, and you aren’t sure if it’s because he didn’t understand or if he’s displeased by what you said, seeing as his grin has left and been replaced with the neutral press of his chapped lips. You felt a kick at his reaction, disgusting but innate, pleased that someone cared enough if you died, and guilty that you wanted to put him through the same cycle of grief.

Mr Crawling was kinder than most people you have met, and somehow you felt that even a being curated from your imagination deserved better than you.

You blearily sit up, hit with a sudden wave of nausea and inertion that makes your head spin. However, you attempt to fix yourself upright quickly, even when Mr Crawling asks if you are sick, reaching with a single hand at a poor attempt at breaking any sudden fall. You weakly smile at him as reassurance. You crouch over to the TV positioned at the end of your room. It was incredibly old, evident by the boxed screen and antennas sitting on top of the plastic frame. However, it was your mother’s, recalling nights when she would lay in her bed watching the jittering coloured shows as you blundered through making yourself dinner. You had rolled it into your room shortly after your impromptu burial of her. Your clothes had still been stained with dirt, a shovel tossed to the ground as you clumsily attempted to fix the device. When you laid in bed that night and flipped through channels much like she once did, you didn’t understand the appeal.

However, Mr Crawling was utterly fascinated by the moving pictures on the screen, so for him, you turned the old thing on. When it flickered to life, his grin returned, much to your relief. You took your place next to him again, pressing your knees to your chest as a soap drama whose title you were unfamiliar with played. Honestly, you couldn’t have cared less. Mindless entertainment lost its appeal around two months ago, with you spending your time after work lying motionlessly in bed or sitting around with your new companion. You had already tuned out the show, blankly staring at the eye-straining colours with disinterest, your mind already wandering. The floor beneath you, the chipped walls, and even Mr Crawling beside you felt as if they were worlds away. The soil from the plot of land next door, visible from your bedroom window, curls within itself. It shakes. She is desperately clawing away and reaching out when you—

He makes a confused sound next to you, and you snap your head away to meet the tilt of his head. Once again, he’s not smiling and your heart seizes. You begin to stammer out an excuse when he points at the screen and you follow his finger to the television screen. There is a bright wedding scene playing, two characters standing at the alter as they exchange vows, the male actor’s hand encased around his pretend bride’s as he beams at her. Carefully scripted lines, perfectly painted masks and flawless costumes. You could almost admire the craft.

However, Mr. Crawling isn’t of the same opinion as you, unable to understand what was happening outside of the funny laugh tracks and comical acting. His confusion is almost cute, though you don’t voice this out loud.

“That’s a wedding,” You say and when his expression doesn’t change, you switch to your shoddy understanding of his language. “It’s a party. For love. Love between two people.”

He sits up a bit straighter and you assume he’s starting to comprehend what’s happening and he fixes his gaze back to the screen where the scene has now moved onto what seems to be the after-party. He seems pleased that the show has gotten back to the humour and repetitive laugh tracks he likes as opposed to the more emotionally heavy wedding he is unfamiliar with. However, not long after he momentarily turns his attention back to you.

“Me,” He points to himself. “You,” He points to you. “Love,” and finally he points to the screen. “Party.”

This stupifies you into silence, your eyes widening as you digest the confession. You are sure the meaning of love varies for him, just like it does for people here. He doesn’t understand the type of love that is involved in marriage, perhaps him meaning something akin to the care between two friends.

“One day,” You reply flippantly, but you lean into his shoulder anyway, letting his long tresses conceal your line of vision as if it were a curtain between you and the damn window. “If only you were real, Mr. Crawling.”

Unable to see from where you have hidden yourself at his side, his smile drops into something more contemplative. How odd humans are. They could be holding someone in their arms, and still not believe they exist.

Jealousy, Jealousy with Sylus

Plot: Reader becomes jealous of Sylus and MC's closeness, distancing herself and seeking comfort in another LI. Sylus notices her growing distance and takes action. Based on this request. Pairing: Sylus x Non MC reader Content Warning: Insecurities, injuries, mention of blood, jealousy, angst, hurt/comfort Note: Reader is not the MC of the game. I think I got quite carried away writing this because I am a sucker for angst.

The faint hum of the air condition echoed through the Onychinus base, its opulent, luxurious atmosphere doing little to distract from the knot twisting in your stomach. You stood across from Luke and Kieran, their crow masks tilted slightly as if to gauge your reaction.

"Boss isn't here today," Luke said casually, his hands tucked into his pockets. "He’s in Linkon, Boss man’s got other things to handle."

Kieran, his mask tilted slightly to the side, gave a confused grunt. "But I thought he was meeting with her...?"

Luke raised a brow, correcting him. "No, no, he was meeting with Miss Hunter."

Miss Hunter.

The words hit you like a sledgehammer, even though they shouldn’t have. You were a hunter too, an informant who had been feeding Sylus critical intel on the association’s movements for two years now. But she was different. Special.

Captain Jenna’s star pupil, with her rare Anhaunsen-class Resonance Evol, was someone Sylus had spent weeks trying to connect with, both literally and emotionally. You weren’t blind to the necessity of it; resonating with her was crucial for his goals, ones he hadn’t entirely shared with you but that you trusted him to pursue.

Trusted him. Loved him.

You forced a tight smile. "Thanks for the update. I'll let you two get back to it."

Luke and Kieran exchanged a glance, but you were already walking away, the echo of your boots swallowed by the hum of the base.

The ride back to Linkon was supposed to clear your mind. It didn’t.

The cool wind whipped against your face, but all it did was sting the tears pooling in your eyes. The road stretched endlessly ahead, yet the pressure in your chest only grew. Sylus hadn’t seen you in two months. Two months of unanswered calls and messages reduced to half-hearted responses when they came at all.

You understood why he was focused on her. She was crucial to his plans. She was everything you weren’t: poised, pretty, powerful, and, most importantly, someone he needed.

But understanding didn’t make it hurt any less.

The world blurred around you as your thoughts spiraled. You had always known your place in Sylus’ life. You were the informant, the quiet insider who helped him stay two steps ahead of the hunters. Somewhere along the way, though, you had fallen for him. For the man who wasn’t as cold and calculated as others believed. It had been two long years since you started working with Sylus. Two years filled with secrecy, lies, and hidden truths. But over those years, you'd found yourself tangled in emotions for him that you couldn’t shake. Sylus, with his cold authority, his dangerous smile, his complex nature… He was all you could think about. He wasn’t as dismissive as people thought. He had a way of looking at you when no one was watching—a fleeting softness that you cherished, even if you couldn’t be certain if it was real.

And now, it felt like you were losing him.

Your bike screeched to a halt near Meow’s Café. You hadn’t planned to stop, but the sight of the familiar storefront tugged at you. Perhaps a coffee and a moment to breathe would help.

The glass windows glinted under the midday sun, and your breath hitched as you looked inside.

Sylus was there. With her.

They sat at a small table, a deck of Kitty cards spread between them. He was leaning back, his smirk in full display as she laughed at something he said. It was the kind of laugh that reached her eyes, the kind of moment you had only ever dreamed of sharing with him.

You froze, your hands tightening on your helmet.

For a fleeting second, you wanted to march inside and demand answers. To ask him why he had time to play cards but couldn’t return your calls. To tell him how his absence had hollowed you out.

But you didn’t.

He looks so happy... you thought bitterly, swallowing the lump in your throat.

The truth gnawed at you. Every interaction, every ignored message, every unread notification on your phone—it was because of her. Because Sylus had more important things to do. She was the one who mattered now. She was the one who he had to resonate with, had to bond with, had to make fall for him.

And you? You were just a pawn, a tool—forgotten. And there you were. Alone. Watching through a window, the warmth of the cafe contrasting the cold, empty feeling in your stomach. He hadn’t even bothered to let you know he was back. He was with her. You couldn’t bear to watch any longer, but you couldn’t look away either. It felt like the world was spinning faster than you could catch up, and you were left stranded, dizzy, and abandoned.

Instead, you turned away, your chest tight and vision blurred. The world felt suffocating, the weight of your unspoken feelings dragging you down as you climbed back onto your bike.

It was for the best, right?

You couldn’t keep doing this. You couldn’t keep waiting for him, couldn’t keep fooling yourself that there was something real between you two. He was busy. He had her. And you.. well, you didn’t even know why you bothered anymore.

The ride back to your apartment was a blur of taillights and muffled engine noise. The city’s glow that usually brought you some sense of comfort felt glaring and alien tonight. By the time you made it inside, the suffocating silence of your small space was overwhelming.

For someone who prided herself on being strong and independent, you barely made it to your couch before the sobs overtook you. Hot, angry tears streamed down your face as you clutched a pillow to your chest, trying in vain to keep your cries muffled. It felt as though something within you had been ripped apart, leaving an aching, hollow void that throbbed with every thought of him.

You replayed the image of him at the café in your mind, over and over, as if some part of you wanted to punish yourself further. His smirk. Her laughter. The ease of their interaction. It contrasted so sharply with the heaviness that now weighed on your heart.

Every chime of your phone made you flinch, hope briefly sparking to life, only to be cruelly snuffed out when the screen lit up with messages from others—work updates, pointless notifications, or friends checking in. Nothing from him. Of course, there wouldn’t be.

You wiped at your face, your chest tightening as you scrolled through the last few conversations you’d had with Sylus. They were short, clipped responses. A "thanks" here, an "I’m busy" there. You’d convinced yourself for weeks that he wasn’t brushing you off, that his focus was just elsewhere. But deep down, you knew. You’d always known.

You weren’t as important to him as he was to you.

That realization settled over you like a heavy blanket, suffocating and final. And yet, you tried to convince yourself it was okay. He doesn’t owe me anything, you told yourself, though the thought only twisted the knife deeper. He’s free to choose who he spends his time with.

But it didn’t stop the tears.

The days that followed were a haze of exhaustion and numbness. You threw yourself into your work, spending long hours tracking and confronting wanderers. The physical exhaustion helped, even if just a little. At least when you were in the middle of a fight, the pain in your chest was drowned out by the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

Still, the nights were the worst. Alone in your apartment, the quiet crept in like a suffocating fog. You tried to distract yourself—reading, cleaning, even organizing old mission reports. Anything to keep your mind from drifting back to him. But it was impossible.

Each time you saw his name in your contacts, you hesitated. Your thumb hovered over the call button more times than you cared to admit, but the fear of hearing his indifferent voice stopped you every time. What would you even say? That you missed him? That you wanted to see him? That you’d fallen for him, even though you knew it would never be mutual?

No. You couldn’t do that to yourself.

You worked harder, pushed yourself further. Every wanderer you fought became a stand-in for your frustrations, your insecurities. You told yourself that if you could just stay busy enough, the ache would go away. But no matter how many missions you completed or how many late nights you spent staring at your phone, the weight in your chest never fully lifted.

By the end of the week, you were exhausted—physically and emotionally. But you were surviving. Barely. The bell above the door jingled softly as you pushed into the chocolatier’s shop, the rich scent of cocoa and vanilla wrapping around you like a warm embrace. The day had been grueling—hours of chasing leads, a narrow escape from a particularly aggressive wanderer, and not a single bite of food since morning. Your stomach growled in protest, a sharp reminder that you’d been running on fumes for too long.

Rows of meticulously crafted chocolates gleamed beneath the glass counter, their perfect swirls and shimmering finishes almost too beautiful to eat. Almost. You leaned forward slightly, scanning the display, your reflection ghosting over the pristine surface.

Dark chocolate truffles. Raspberry ganache. Caramel hazelnut clusters. The options were overwhelming, and your indecision felt heavier than it should’ve. Your chest still ached from the lingering emotions you’d been suppressing all week. The quiet joy of the shop felt alien, like stepping into a world you no longer belonged to.

Just pick something and go, you thought, your fingers tightening on the strap of your bag. But the choices seemed endless, each one whispering promises of sweetness you weren’t sure you deserved.

"If you’re struggling," a soft, measured voice spoke behind you, "the pistachio crème chocolate is an excellent choice."

Startled, you turned, your gaze falling on a man standing a few steps away. Tall and lean, he exuded an understated confidence that was both intimidating and captivating. Dark hair fell in against his forehead, and sharp hazel-green eyes, softened by gold flecks peered at you from behind thin-framed glasses. His white doctor’s coat was open, revealing a simple black shirt beneath, and he held a small paper bag in one hand.

You blinked, caught off guard by both his suggestion and his presence. "Oh, uh… thank you," you stammered, trying not to sound as flustered as you felt. "I’ll… I’ll try that."

The shopkeeper nodded and carefully packed your selection as you stole another glance at the stranger. There was an air of calm authority about him, a quiet assurance that made you feel oddly exposed, like he could see straight through you.

He waited patiently as the shopkeeper handed you your bag, but just as you were about to leave, his voice cut through the quiet again—this time, more direct. "Chocolates shouldn’t be your first meal of the day."

The statement was delivered without malice, his tone stoic and matter-of-fact, yet it hit like a stone to the chest. Your lips parted in shock, the question forming before you could stop it: How does he know? But before you could say anything, he was already moving toward the door. The bells jingled softly as it closed behind him, leaving you standing frozen in place. The stranger’s words lingered, intertwining with the rest of your messy emotions. Your fingers clenched the small bag of chocolates as you tried to process the brief encounter.

A soft gleam on the floor caught your attention, breaking your spiraling thoughts. A wallet, its sleek leather worn but well-kept, lay just inches from where the man had stood. You knelt and picked it up, your heart thudding as you opened it to check for identification.

The name embossed on his hospital ID was like a jolt: Dr. Zayne. Your eyes widened. Doctor Zayne? The name was familiar—a renowned surgeon whose skills and precision were legendary, often described as a miracle worker. You’d imagined someone older, more weathered, not… this.

For a moment, you stared at the ID, piecing together the puzzle of the composed, enigmatic man who had called you out so effortlessly. You tried the number listed on a card tucked into his wallet, but it rang unanswered, the sterile monotone only adding to your frustration.

"Of course, he wouldn’t answer," you muttered under your breath, chewing your lip as you debated your next move. The idea of keeping his wallet overnight felt wrong, and leaving it here in the shop seemed equally careless.

That left one option.

The hospital loomed ahead as you approached, its towering structure illuminated against the evening sky. Anxiety gnawed at your insides, twisting with every step you took through the sterile white halls. You weren’t sure why you felt so on edge—maybe it was the overwhelming sense of inadequacy that had been haunting you lately, or maybe it was the lingering impression of Zayne’s knowing gaze.

At the reception desk, you hesitated, gripping the wallet tightly as you cleared your throat. "Hi, um, I’m here to return something for Dr. Zayne. He… accidentally dropped this."

The receptionist barely looked up, taking the wallet with a polite but indifferent smile. "Dr. Zayne isn’t in right now. I’ll make sure he gets this when he’s back."

"Oh," You nodded, murmuring a quick thanks before retreating back toward the exit. You thought nothing of this interaction as you left. You did what you thought was right and left the hospital back towards your apartment.

The days blurred together in a haze of work and routine. You buried yourself in assignments from the Hunter’s Association, throwing yourself into dangerous missions with a single-minded intensity. Anything to keep your mind occupied.

Sylus messaged you once during that time, his tone professional as he asked for updates regarding a lead he was tracking. You’d responded quickly, sticking strictly to business. No pleasantries, no banter—just the information he needed. He didn’t press, didn’t call you out for your uncharacteristic coldness. Maybe he didn’t notice. Or maybe he did and chose not to say anything.

That night, you jogged through the dimly lit streets, your breath fogging in the cool air as you tried to exorcise the restless energy gnawing at you. The rhythmic slap of your sneakers against the pavement was grounding, steady. Jogging had always been your go-to, a way to clear your head and silence the endless stream of "what-ifs" and "if-onlys" that plagued your mind.

You shook your head, annoyed at yourself. There was no point in dwelling. Sylus wasn’t the kind of person to give you what you wanted, and even if he did, could you trust it? Could you trust him?

But no amount of movement could completely shake Sylus from your thoughts.

His voice, his presence—it clung to you, even now.

Why didn’t he ask how I’ve been? Why didn’t I?

The sound of skidding tires yanked you out of your spiraling thoughts.

“Look out!”

Before you could process the warning, a cyclist veered wildly toward you, their momentum too strong to stop. There wasn’t even time to brace yourself. The impact hit like a freight train, and suddenly, you were on the ground, tangled with the bike and its rider. Pain blossomed sharp and hot in your knees as the asphalt scraped them raw.

For a moment, you just lay there, stunned. The world tilted unsteadily, the city lights smearing together like a watercolor painting.

“Hey, you okay?” The cyclist’s voice snapped you back. They were scrambling off you, helmet slightly askew but otherwise unscathed. You shook your head to clear it, wincing as you sat up. You pushed yourself up, shaking the dizziness from your head, and checked on the cyclist who had crashed into you. They were already scrambling to their feet, looking slightly dazed but otherwise unharmed, their helmet and guards having done their job.

“I’m fine,” you managed, even as your knees throbbed in protest. “Are you?”

“Yeah, thanks to the gear,” they said, pulling off their helmet to inspect a small crack along its surface. “Guess it did its job.”

Relief washed over you. “Good. Let me just—”

“Wait.” A different voice cut in, firm but calm. You stood there, still trying to regain your bearings when a figure appeared beside you, moving with a grace that immediately caught your attention. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw who it was. Dr. Zayne. The same man who had crossed your path in the chocolatier's shop just days ago. His sharp eyes locked onto yours, and for a split second, everything else seemed to vanish. His expression shifted from mild surprise to something more concerned as he took in your state.

Without saying a word, he immediately began assessing you, his gaze narrowing at the blood now staining your knees. You winced, feeling the sting of the cuts that had begun to bloom with a fiery intensity, but you were determined not to show it. You were used to pain—used to the sharp discomfort that came with being a hunter. You didn’t need help. You could handle this on your own. You’d always been able to.

But Dr. Zayne wasn’t having any of it.

His voice, low and steady, broke through the haze of your thoughts. "You’re bleeding. Those need first aid," he said firmly, his frown deepening as he glanced at your scraped knees. "Sit. Wait here. I’ll be back in a minute."

You opened your mouth to protest, to tell him you were fine, but the words caught in your throat. He wasn’t asking. His tone, though gentle, was authoritative—demanding in its own quiet way. There was something about the way he carried himself, that calm, unflinching presence, that made it impossible to argue.

"I’m fine, I am a hunter." you managed to say, your voice rougher than you intended. "I can handle it at home. Really." You tried to force a reassuring smile

“Is this a hunter thing?” he interrupted, one brow arching skeptically. “Are all of you this stubborn about basic care, or is it just you?”

The words should have been biting, but his tone was almost... patient. Like he was accustomed to dealing with difficult people.

You flushed, suddenly hyper-aware of the sting in your knees and the heat of his gaze. “I’m not being stubborn,” you muttered. “I just don’t want to bother anyone over something so small.”

“Small injuries have a way of turning into bigger problems,” he said, folding his arms. “And I’m not bothered. As a doctor, I’m asking you to wait here. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Without waiting for your protest, he turned and strode off, leaving you no room to argue.

You sat stiffly on the bench, gripping the edge as the minutes dragged on. The ache in your knees was nothing compared to the gnawing discomfort blooming in your chest. Anxiety clawed at you, whispering insidious doubts.

He’s wasting his time on you.He probably thinks you’re pathetic and weak.Why couldn’t you have just gotten up and left?

Your fingers curled into fists, the tension radiating through your body.

The sound of footsteps interrupted your spiraling thoughts, and Dr. Zayne was back, carrying a small first aid kit. He knelt in front of you without a word, his hands steady as he cleaned the cuts on your knees. The gentle pressure of his fingers as he worked felt almost surreal. His silence wasn’t uncomfortable—it was just… calm. You found yourself drawn to it, to the quiet that seemed to settle around him.

"You’re lucky," he said, glancing up at you as he bandaged your knees. "That could’ve been a lot worse."

You nodded, the words caught in your throat. There were so many things you wanted to say, things you wanted to ask him, but you didn’t know where to start. So you remained silent, watching as he finished his work, his hands moving with the practiced precision of someone who had seen too many injuries to count.

When he was done, he straightened up and met your gaze. "You should be more careful," he said softly, his voice a little lighter than before, though there was still a note of concern underlying his words. "Next time, don’t run so late at night. You never know what could happen."

You forced a tight smile, the words feeling like they were coming from someone else. "I’ll keep that in mind," you said, your voice quieter now.

Dr. Zayne took a step back after finishing the bandages, his sharp gaze softening ever so slightly as he packed the first aid kit. You glanced at him, your mouth opening to thank him, but before you could get the words out, he said, almost in unison, “Thank you.”

Both of you froze, the simultaneous expressions of gratitude hanging awkwardly in the air. A surprised laugh slipped out of you, breaking the tension.

“You first,” he said, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

You swallowed, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your neck. “I was just going to say thank you for… you know, helping with this.” You gestured vaguely toward your knees, the bandages clinging to your skin. “You didn’t have to.”

The moment stretched between you, awkward yet somehow comforting. Zayne gave a small, almost amused smile at the simultaneous gratitude, but his gaze softened when it landed on you, his concern still present.

"Thank you for returning my wallet," he said, his tone steady but with a hint of appreciation.

His words caught you off guard. “Oh, right! That. It wasn’t a big deal, really.” You fidgeted with the hem of your sleeve, avoiding his gaze. “I found it at the chocolatier shop. I figured it was better to bring it to the hospital than leave it lying around.”

He nodded thoughtfully, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary. “I appreciate it. Not many people would go out of their way like that.”

You tried not to let his kindness throw you off, but it wasn’t easy. There was something about Zayne that made you feel... small in a way you didn’t like to feel. He was kind, yes, but that kindness made you wonder if you were deserving of it. Why should you be the one he cared about?

But before you could dwell on that any further, his voice cut through your swirling thoughts.

"Have you eaten today?" His tone was light, but there was an edge of sincerity beneath it, one that made your stomach twist in a way that had nothing to do with hunger. It reminded you of that conversation in the shop, of how he had so effortlessly read through your tiredness.

The sheepish look that crossed your face must’ve been obvious, because Zayne sighed, the sound so deep that it almost felt like a reprimand. He pinched the bridge of his nose in a gesture that was both familiar and surprisingly endearing.

“You’ve got to take care of yourself,” he said, his voice almost too gentle for the weight of his words. “It’s not healthy to go without food, especially if you’re going to keep running around like you hunters do.”

You opened your mouth to protest, to tell him it wasn’t a big deal, but Zayne didn’t give you the chance.

"There’s a diner close by. It’s the least I can do to thank you for returning my wallet."

You shook your head instinctively, trying to backpedal. "It’s really not necessary," you said, but Zayne wasn’t having any of it. His eyes were firm, and there was an undeniable warmth behind them that almost made you feel guilty for refusing.

"Yes, it is," he replied, his tone steady but with a hint of finality. "Now, come on.”

You hesitated for a moment, the unease building in your chest like a brick wall, but the thought of Zayne’s calm, commanding presence made it impossible to say no. So, with a quiet sigh, you relented.

"I’ll pay," you muttered as he led the way, the words almost reflexive. You always felt like you had to pay your way—like it was your responsibility to do so, especially with someone who had helped you, even in the smallest of ways. You were used to standing on your own two feet.

Zayne only gave you a side glance, his lips quirking up in the barest of smiles. "No, you won’t. It’s my thank you, remember?"

The diner wasn’t far from where you had been, a cozy, low-lit place with a soft hum of quiet conversations and the clink of silverware against plates. The familiar scent of warm food—steak, mashed potatoes, and the unmistakable aroma of fresh bread—immediately filled the air as you stepped inside. You followed Zayne to a small booth in the back, the vinyl seats creaking under your weight as you slid in.

You wanted to say something—thank you, maybe—but the words felt stuck, trapped somewhere in the pit of your stomach, along with everything else that had been piling up for weeks. Zayne didn’t seem to notice, his focus already turning to the menu as he gestured for you to pick something.

You wanted to ask him more, to understand him in the same way you understood the empty streets you ran through, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d just end up looking foolish. So, instead, you stared at the menu in front of you, unable to focus on the choices, as your mind churned with questions that had no answers.

Zayne ordered for both of you, his voice low as he made his choices, and when he looked at you, you caught a flicker of something—perhaps curiosity, or was it concern? It was hard to tell.

"You should eat more regularly," he said again, as though the words were a reminder he had to repeat for his own peace of mind. You nodded, letting the silence fill the space between you for a moment.

The food arrived, warm and satisfying, and you took a bite, surprised at how hungry you were despite the earlier denials. Zayne watched you for a moment, his gaze softening as you ate, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet it. His concern, his care—it felt too much. You weren’t used to people worrying about you.

But as the meal went on, you found yourself starting to relax, the initial tension loosening from your shoulders. Zayne was easy to talk to, his calm, steady presence settling you in a way you hadn’t expected. By the end of the meal, you felt... lighter.

"Call me Zayne," he said when the check came, his voice quiet but sincere.

You blinked, a little caught off guard by the request. "Zayne?" you echoed, testing the name on your tongue.

"Yes," he replied with a small, patient smile. "It’s easier than 'Dr. Zayne,' don’t you think?"

You blinked, taken aback. “Are you sure? I mean, you’ve earned the title—”

“And I’ll still have it in the hospital,” he interrupted, amusement flickering in his eyes. “But here, it’s just Zayne.”

You nodded slowly, testing the name in your mind. It felt strange, almost too personal. But there was something grounding about it, too.

By the time dessert arrived, the knot of anxiety in your chest had loosened considerably. The warmth of the diner, the steady cadence of his voice, and the shared laughter over a poorly made joke had a way of pulling you out of your own head. For the first time in what felt like weeks, you weren’t obsessing over your failures or doubts.

As you finished your meal, Zayne pulled out his phone and slid it across the table. “Here,” he said simply. “Add your number. In case you ever need anything.”

You hesitated, the gesture feeling far more intimate than it probably was. But his expression was patient, expectant, and you found yourself entering your contact information before you could overthink it. When you handed the phone back, his lips twitched into a faint smile.

“Thanks again for returning my wallet,” he said, his tone lighter now. “And for the company.”

You felt your cheeks flush, but this time, it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. “It’s not a problem,” you murmured, a small smile tugging at your lips.

As you stepped out of the diner and into the cool night air, a strange sense of calm settled over you. Zayne walked you to the corner where your paths would diverge, his presence steady and reassuring.

“Take care of yourself,” he said, his voice softer now, almost intimate.

“You too,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

The diner’s warmth lingered even as you stepped into the cool night air. For the first time in what felt like weeks, your chest didn’t feel as tight, the oppressive weight that had been bearing down on you now lifting slightly. You still felt the ache of Sylus’ absence—a hollow, gnawing sensation that seemed to creep in whenever you let your guard down, but it wasn’t as suffocating as it had been. Instead, a new sensation fluttered in its place, tentative and fragile: excitement. It was strange to feel this way, to look forward to the possibility of a friendship formed under such unlikely circumstances. Zayne’s calm demeanor, his steady presence, had surprised you.

As you walked, the sound of fluttering wings caught your attention. Instinctively, your heart skipped, your mind jumping to Mephisto. You tilted your head to the dark sky, half-expecting to see the telltale silhouette of his familiar. But it was just a cluster of pigeons, their wings catching the faint glow of the streetlights as they soared away.

Right. Of course. It was unlikely that Sylus was watching you tonight.

You exhaled, a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, and forced your thoughts away from him. Zayne had offered you a rare moment of normalcy, and you weren’t about to let your memories of Sylus overshadow that.

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The following weeks were a blur of activity, and before long, you found yourself stationed at an outpost on the outskirts of Linkon. A metaflux surge had disrupted the area, and the temporary makeshift hospital was bustling with injured workers, hunters, and even a few civilians caught in the chaos. The air was thick with tension, the metallic tang of metaflux faint but persistent, a reminder of the unseen dangers that lurked just beyond the safety of the encampment.

Zayne was assigned as the doctor for the outpost, and you often found yourself crossing paths with him. At first, your interactions were brief—a nod here, a shared glance there—but over time, you began to talk. It started with simple pleasantries, discussions about the metaflux readings or the influx of patients, but it wasn’t long before the conversations deepened.

You learned that Zayne had a dry sense of humor, his sharp wit often catching you off guard. He’d tease you about your stubbornness, and you’d retort with a quip about his overly serious nature. Despite his professionalism, there was a warmth to him, a quiet compassion that made him easy to trust. And though you’d never admit it, you found yourself looking forward to those moments of shared laughter, those fleeting glimpses of something lighter amidst the chaos.

But even as your friendship with Zayne grew, Sylus lingered at the edges of your thoughts, a shadow you couldn’t quite shake. The conversations you had with him were sparse and strictly work-related—updates from the Association, bits of intel you passed along to him. It felt transactional, a far cry from the intimacy you once shared. Yet, every time his name appeared on your screen, your heart still raced, betraying the fragile boundaries you’d tried to set.

One evening, a message from Sylus broke the monotony of your routine.

‘Come over tomorrow night, Darling. I have an exquisite wine I’d like you to try—procured it during a recent deal.’

The invitation was simple, almost casual. For a moment, you imagined it—the rich scent of wine filling the air, his sharp yet alluring gaze fixed on you as he poured you a glass. But reality quickly crept in, dragging you back to the present. You couldn’t go. You couldn’t risk it. Not when your heart was still so fragile, still aching in ways you didn’t want to admit.

You stared at the screen for what felt like an eternity, your fingers hovering over the keyboard as your mind raced. The truth was, you wanted to see him. But you knew better. You had to keep your distance—for your own sake, if nothing else.

‘I’m tired..'

You typed, the words feeling hollow as they formed.

'Busy day tomorrow. Maybe another time.’

You hesitated before hitting send, the weight of the message pressing down on you. When his reply came, it was as simple as his invitation.

‘Okay.’

The finality of it hit you like a brick, and for a moment, you felt like your breath had been stolen away. He didn’t push. He didn’t argue. That empty “okay” hung in the air, leaving you with the quiet realization that, once again, you had lost yourself in the haze of someone else’s world.

You tried not to read too much into it, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that he had already moved on. That he didn’t care enough to fight for your attention. Instead, it felt like you were just a passing thought, like an aftertaste that wasn’t worth savoring.

Miss Hunter. The words echoed in your mind. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing the tears to stay behind your eyelids, but they pressed hard, a sting that never seemed to fully fade. You rubbed your forehead, trying to push away the thoughts. But even as you did, you couldn’t escape the suffocating feeling in your chest—the one that always came when you were reminded of how little you meant to him. You felt foolish, but you couldn’t help it. It was like you were always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to come back, to pull you back into his orbit with that practiced charm, that voice that made you feel wanted, if only for a little while.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The dinner with Zayne had been a welcome reprieve. It had been two weeks since you last saw him, the demands of work pulling both of you in different directions. But tonight, seated across from him in a small, cozy bistro, you found solace in the familiar rhythm of your conversations. The mellow lights softened the sharp angles of his face as he recounted a mishap earlier in the week involving a particularly irritable patient.

His dry humor, paired with the subtle lift of his brow, drew a laugh from you—a genuine, light sound that felt foreign after the weight of recent days. For a while, the world outside blurred away. You weren’t Miss Hunter; you weren’t anything other than a person sharing a meal with a friend.

As the meal wound down, Zayne looked at you over the rim of his glass, his expression calm. “You’re doing better than when we first met.” he remarked softly.

You blinked, momentarily caught off guard. “Am I?”

He nodded. His calm demeanor always had a way of grounding you, and tonight was no exception.

The meal wrapped up with the two of you trading small updates and light banter. You paid for your half of the meal, Zayne insisting it wasn’t necessary, but you’d insisted back. There was a sense of normalcy here, something you weren’t willing to let go of easily. When you parted ways outside the diner, the night air was cool and quiet. Zayne’s warm farewell echoed softly in your ears as you waved goodbye and headed back toward your apartment.

As you walked, you felt lighter somehow. The stress of the past few weeks hadn’t vanished, but Zayne’s steady presence had reminded you of something important—moments of peace still existed, even in the chaos.

The faint scent of lavender greeted you as you unlocked your apartment door, a hint of the candle you’d left burning earlier. The lights were off, and the air felt too still—unnaturally so. Your heart skipped, the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. A lump formed in your throat, panic curling its fingers around your chest.

You flicked the light switch, and the sudden brightness flooded the room, revealing the figure sitting on your couch. Sylus.

You froze. Your body stiffened, caught between fight or flight.

Your yelp of surprise filled the space, your pulse racing as you clutched the doorframe for support. “What—Sylus? What are you doing here?”

He was sitting on your couch, one arm draped casually along the backrest, his other hand resting on his knee. The dim light of the room softened the sharp edges of his face, but his expression was anything but gentle. His eyes, sharp and unyielding, tracked your every movement as if he were dissecting you with just a glance.

“How—what are you doing here?” you stammered, your voice shaky as your pulse raced.

Sylus didn’t respond right away. Instead, he tilted his head slightly, his gaze dragging over you slowly, deliberately. His silence was louder than any words he could have spoken, and it made your skin prickle.

“Darling,” he finally murmured, his voice low and smooth, laced with something you couldn’t quite name. “You look… exhausted.”

You blinked, still standing frozen by the door. His tone was soft, almost tender, but it was the way his jaw tightened, the way his fingers tapped against his knee, that betrayed his underlying tension.

“Y-yeah,” you stammered, your voice wavering as you took a cautious step forward. “It’s been a long day. What are you doing here?”

Sylus leaned back, the leather of the couch creaking faintly under his weight. “A long day,” he echoed, his lips curving into a faint smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Yet you had time for dinner.”

“I…” you faltered, scrambling for a response. “It was just…”

“Just dinner,” he interrupted smoothly, his tone unreadable. “With… someone else.”

The air felt thick, charged with a tension that made your skin prickle. You opened your mouth to respond, but the words stuck in your throat. His eyes narrowed slightly, his expression still calm but his body language telling a different story. The way his fingers drummed against his knee, the slight clench of his jaw, the flicker of something dark in his gaze.

Your heart pounded, your thoughts racing. Why was he here? What did he want? And why did his presence—his very existence in your space—make your chest ache in that familiar, suffocating way?

“I didn’t think…” You stopped yourself, your voice trembling. “You didn’t say you’d be coming by. You can’t just—”

“Can’t just what?” he asked, his voice dangerously soft as he rose from the couch, his movements fluid and deliberate. “Show up to see what’s wrong?”

Your breath hitched as he closed the distance between you, his height and presence suddenly overwhelming. “Nothing’s wrong…”you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Is that so?” he murmured, tilting his head slightly, his eyes boring into yours. “Because from where I’m standing, it seems like you’ve been avoiding me, Darling.”

The accusation hung in the air, sharp and unyielding.

“I’ve been busy…” you said weakly, your voice lacking conviction.

“Busy,” he repeated, his gaze flicking over you again, this time with something close to disdain. “Too busy for me, but not too busy for… him.”

Your hands fidgeted at your sides, your breath coming in shallow bursts. You wanted to move, to put distance between you, but your legs felt rooted to the spot. “I didn’t think dinner with a friend would..”

“Friend?” he interrupted, the single word slicing through your sentence. His lips curved into something that might have been a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Your heart pounded painfully against your ribs, the anxiety swirling in your chest mixing with something else—something raw and painful that you didn’t want to name. The memories of your last exchange with Sylus came flooding back—the curt messages, the unspoken finality of his “okay.” You had tried to convince yourself that it didn’t matter, that you didn’t need his validation. But standing here now, under the weight of his gaze, you felt every crack in the fragile walls you had built to keep him out.

“I don’t understand what you want from me,” you said finally, the words trembling as they left your lips.

His eyes softened slightly, but the tension in his posture didn’t ease. For a moment, he looked like he wanted to say something, something important, but the moment passed as quickly as it came. Instead, he reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek in a gesture so gentle it felt almost foreign.

“Don’t make me feel like I’m a stranger to you.” he said quietly, his voice carrying a hint of vulnerability that made your chest ache.

Don’t make me feel like I’m a stranger to you. The words echoed in your mind, repeating, twisting, until all you could hear was the raw edge of betrayal laced in his tone.

You let out a bitter laugh, the sound sharp and bitter, a little too loud in the quiet of your apartment. Your chest tightened, and for a moment, you felt the space around you grow smaller. You couldn’t breathe—couldn’t think. All you could feel was the heat of anger building inside of you, raw and unrefined.

“That’s rich,” you scoffed, finally managing to find your voice. “That’s really rich, coming from you of all people.”

Sylus blinked, a subtle flash of surprise crossing his face, but it quickly masked over. His lips tightened, his brow furrowed ever so slightly, but it wasn’t enough. You had to push, you couldn’t hold back now. The words were tumbling out before you could even stop them. Your breath hitched, a strangled sob lodged somewhere in the back of your throat, but you refused to let it spill. You wouldn’t let him see you break—not like this, not in front of him. You knew the truth. He knew the truth. It hurt, yes, but you weren’t the one to blame.

“You've been treating me like a stranger for months,” you continued, your voice trembling with anger you hadn't fully realized was there. “Barely responding to my messages, not answering my calls, and when I do see you, it’s like you can’t be bothered. You don’t even see me.” You felt the weight of every unreturned message, every unanswered call, every promise left in limbo. “I’ve had to hear from Luke and Kieran that you’re in Linkon. But you couldn’t even make time to see me.”

You felt the ache deep in your chest, that familiar, suffocating knot forming. He didn’t deserve your pain. Not anymore. You wouldn’t let him have that. Not this time.

You took a shaky breath, suddenly feeling raw, exposed. “You don’t have to feel obligated to check on me, Sylus,” you said, your words clipped and cutting through the thick silence between you. “You don’t have to feel pity for me. I know where I stand. I know my place in your life.”

His expression, that unreadable mask, cracked for the briefest of moments. His lips parted, his gaze flicking to your face, then back down to the floor. His jaw clenched. But his eyes… They weren’t the same as they’d been earlier. The hardness was gone, replaced by something far more dangerous, something even more intimate. The storm was gathering, but it wasn’t just in the air—no, it was inside him too.

“You know where you stand?” His voice was quieter now, but there was an edge to it, a slight tightness you hadn’t noticed before. He took a step forward, his body closing the space between you, like a wave of raw energy crashing toward you. His proximity only made your pulse race faster, but you couldn’t back down. Not now.

“I’m just an informant, right?” you bit out, every word feeling like it sliced through the night air, cutting through the tension like a blade. “You don’t have to pretend you care, Sylus. So don’t stand there with that look on your face like I’m some important thing you need to check on.”

The air between you grew heavy, thick with unsaid words and stifled tension. Every inch of your body was telling you to get away, to shut down, to stop this before it tore you apart. But your feet felt heavy, stuck in place. Sylus’s presence was like gravity, pulling you toward him.

"You think that's all you are?" he murmured, his voice dangerously low, like the calm before the thunder. The way he said it made your heart stutter in your chest. It was both a question and an accusation or a challenge.

But there was something else in his voice. Something you couldn’t quite place. His eyes were intense, too intense, and they searched yours like he was looking for the answer. The truth.

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he continued, his words clipped, as though they were difficult for him to say. “But I couldn’t....couldn’t make sense of it. Of you.”

It was the first time that he seemed genuinely vulnerable, and it left you breathless and confused. You had always wondered if there was more beneath his cold exterior. You had always told yourself that he cared. But you had never dared to confront him.

His hand was close enough now to reach out, his fingers barely brushing the edge of your wrist. The air between you was still thick with everything unsaid, everything unhealed. And yet, despite the words that had been thrown between you, there was something undeniably magnetic in the tension. The ache in your chest, the rawness, the feelings of betrayal—they didn’t wash away just because you said them out loud.

God, you hated him for this.

But part of you yearned for him. That part that still felt tethered to him, despite the distance.

Sylus’s fingers hovered over your wrist, his touch like fire against your skin. For a moment, the storm between you calmed, leaving only the faintest echo of it behind. The weight of his gaze, the force of his presence—it seemed to drown out the rest of the world.

He said nothing for a moment, his lips parting as though he wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words. His eyes darkened further, not with anger now, but with something you couldn’t quite define.

You took a breath, your body suddenly feeling too small beneath his gaze. The storm was still inside. You had to move away. Your heart pounded as if it were trying to escape your chest, desperate to flee from whatever was stirring inside you. You couldn't—no, you wouldn’t—let yourself get caught up in whatever this feeling was. You were not some fool, ready to throw everything away for the temporary pull of his presence. You knew better than that. You had to.

Every instinct screamed at you to retreat, to put some distance between you and the mess of emotions bubbling under your skin. His sharp gaze was enough to make your knees tremble, and it took everything in you not to look back, not to let him see the quiet devastation that flickered inside you.

“You need to leave… Sylus.” You whispered. You staggered back a few steps, your breathing shallow, desperate. Your feet felt like lead, yet you forced yourself to walk away. You turned your back to him, willing your legs to move, hoping to escape before you got sucked into whatever dark vortex of feelings he was drawing you into.

He didn’t move. Instead, you heard the familiar click of his boots against the floor as he took a single, deliberate step forward. “Why?” His voice, low and curious, sent a shiver down your spine. It was almost too intimate, as if he were searching for a piece of you, trying to understand what you couldn’t explain.

You didn’t want to look at him. Didn’t want to see the quiet confusion on his face—the faint flicker of disappointment that stung like salt in an open wound. You couldn’t let him see your weakness, couldn’t let him know how badly it hurt to be around him, how badly it hurt not to be around him.

“Is it so you can run back to your precious ‘friend’?” The words dripped with something unspoken, something that made your stomach twist.

You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t. Not when his voice—that voice, the one that threaded through the air like silk—was digging into your mind like this. The word echoed in your ears, almost mocking you, and you felt something fragile snap inside you. The weight of the years you’d spent keeping distance, of guarding your heart against him, against whatever he made you feel, started to unravel. But you couldn’t let it.

You took another step away from him. One more step, you told yourself. Just one more. You didn’t need this.

Dark tendrils wrapped around you as you move, pulling you back. He was using his evol to pull you back. You didn’t need him pulling you in again. But then it came. That touch. He pulled you to him, forceful yet intimate, and your breath caught in your throat. You were too close. Too close to the edge of losing yourself, of falling into his presence.

His hands...no, his fingers—snaked around your waist before you even knew what was happening. You gasped, body going stiff in surprise, but his grip tightened, pulling you back into him. You tried to keep moving, tried to pull away, but it was useless. His hold was ironclad, his presence consuming. His grip tightened slightly, but there was an almost comforting pressure there, a subtle reminder that despite the dispute between you, there was something undeniable between the two of you.

“Why are you running?” His voice was a whisper against your ear, the words smooth like silk, but there was something jagged beneath them—something urgent, raw.

You struggled to hold yourself together, but the more you fought it, the more it pulled—this unbearable need to lean into him, to give in to the chaos that his proximity stirred in you. You knew you shouldn’t, but everything in you wanted to. You felt the ache of wanting something you couldn't have, the sting of the distance you had put between you and the thing that was somehow both poison and relief.

His hands tightened slightly, his thumb brushing over your ribs in a movement that sent a jolt through your entire system. The words you wanted to say, the reasons you needed to get away from him, all felt so small and pointless now. How could you possibly explain this? This tension, this pull? How could you say that being near him felt like the most excruciating thing in the world, but also the only thing that made you feel alive?

“You’re not just an informant to me,” he breathed, his words slipping under your skin, curling into the tight spaces of your chest. “I didn’t realize I was hurting you this much. That you’d want to distance yourself from me...” His tone softened at the end, but it only made everything worse. The tenderness in his voice—his tenderness—was like a dagger in your side, making the blood in your veins freeze. You wanted to say something, anything, but all you could hear was the deafening rush of your own heartbeat. You tried to stay composed, but the words were caught in your throat, and your body was still pressed so tightly against his, your breath shallow, your pulse thudding painfully against your ribs.

Why was this so hard? Why couldn’t you just say it—say that you couldn’t let him get close again? That you couldn’t survive another wound, another aching, empty feeling in your chest because of him? But the way his hands tightened, the warmth of his body against yours, made everything you were feeling a little too real.

You could feel his heartbeat against your back, the rhythm in sync with your own, and the pull of him was growing stronger. You could feel your anxiety bubbling up, the gnawing fear at the pit of your stomach. Was this just him toying with you? Was he trying to pull you into his world of darkness and manipulation? Or did he really care?

Your head was spinning. The emotions warred within you—anger, confusion, guilt, and something else. Something that made your heart race faster and your thoughts scatter like leaves in the wind.

“Let me go,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the storm that raged around you.

But you didn’t pull away. You didn’t push him off.

Sylus' grip on you tightened, his arm like a steel band around your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you. His chest rises and falls against your back as his breath brushes against your ear, warm and heavy. It’s as if he’s afraid, like if he lets go for even a second, he’ll lose you forever. You can feel the tension radiating from him, but also something softer, something desperate.

“No, Darling,” he murmurs, his voice low and thick with emotion, his tone possessive, as though the very idea of you slipping away shatters him. “You’re not going anywhere and neither am I.”

"You’re going to stay," He pulls you even closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he speaks again, quieter this time, but laced with something raw and vulnerable. "...and you’re going to listen to me. I won’t let you walk away from this."

You can hear the flicker of something beneath his words—regret. And then, his lips ghost over the sensitive skin of your neck, lingering just a little longer than necessary. He slowly spins you around, to face him. His voice softens, almost apologetic. “I know I was a dick. I know I didn’t respond to you, and I’m sorry for that. I didn’t know how to handle it… handle us. It confused me, and instead of facing it, I pushed you away.” His breath catches slightly, and you feel his chest tighten against your back.

His hand moves to cup your cheek, tilting your face slightly toward him, his thumb brushing over your skin as though it’s a promise, an apology. The weight of his gaze is intense, but there’s also something tender there, something that wants to pull you back in, closer. “I know you’re still hurting, darling. I see it. And I... I’ll spend a lifetime making up for it, because that’s what I want. A lifetime. With you. Not as some informant or some... thing, but as my beloved. You. By my side. Always.”

He pauses, letting his words hang in the air between you. His voice drops, the quiet sorrow of his confession sending a twinge of guilt through you. "I don’t have the right to ask this of you, I know," Sylus continues, his voice thick with emotion. "But seeing you push me away… It’s harder than I ever thought it would be. Harder than I want to admit." He presses his forehead lightly against your temple, his breath shaky. "I’ve never needed someone the way I need you, and I didn’t know how to tell you that. But I do. I need you."

You can feel him tense slightly, the shift in his demeanor telling you that his thoughts have turned darker. His voice lowers, the jealousy evident in the way he speaks, though it’s wrapped in a softness that almost makes it harder to bear.

"And Dr. Zayne... I can’t stand the thought of him being so close to you," Sylus adds, his voice low and thick with a possessiveness that unsettles you in its intensity. "It kills me, you know? Watching him with you, hearing you laugh like that with him, as if I don’t even exist." His arm tightens again, almost painfully, as if he needs to remind you, remind both of you, where you truly belong. "I know I have no claim on you... but... I can't help but feel like there’s a part of you that wants him in a way that... I can't compete with." His voice hardens, jealousy dripping from every word. "It eats at me, knowing he has a part of you that I’m fighting for."

"Sylus..." Your voice cracked slightly as you repeated his name, your breath hitching, caught in the tension between you. His name felt heavy on your tongue, like it was both a question and an answer. You had never said it so quietly, so vulnerably. The memories of earlier came rushing back—him with her, that delicate smile he gave her, the way she leaned into him just a little too comfortably. It had burned in your chest, the jealousy creeping in with a venomous ache.

The words tumbled out before you could stop them, too fast to gather, too painful to hide. "I felt the same... when I saw you with her," you confessed, swallowing thickly. "I felt so... so useless, Sylus. When I saw you with her, it felt like... like she was everything you needed. Better than me. And that... it broke me, Sylus. I felt like I wasn’t enough, like I wasn’t... worth it.”

The words stung, bitter and unrelenting, but the weight of them was finally lifted as you let them spill out. You felt exposed, naked in your insecurity, but somehow, it was all you could do to stand there and wait for him to respond. You could feel the weight of it, of how small you’d felt in that moment, how unworthy you had become in your own eyes. The self-doubt gnawed at your insides, each thought of her with him twisting like a knife in your gut.

Sylus’s expression softened, his features melting into a tender sadness, as though he were seeing you for the first time, truly seeing you. His hand reached out slowly, almost hesitantly, as if afraid to shatter the fragile space between you. His touch was a gentle comfort, his fingers brushing against your cheek, his voice a low whisper, "Darling, you're none of that... none of it, I swear."

You shook your head, feeling the tears threatening, but you couldn’t let them fall, not yet. His words were kind, but the ache in your chest was still there, an unhealed wound.

He continued, his voice steady but thick with something deeper. "I didn’t know you felt that way... about her, in the same way I feel about Zayne." His gaze met yours, and for the first time tonight, it wasn’t uncertain. It was so gentle, so soft, tender. "But you need to know, you're it for me, Darling…" he murmured, his fingers curling around yours, grounding you in the quiet storm of your emotions. "Yes, I want help from her, but..." He paused, as if weighing his words carefully, "...I need you more." His words were a balm to the wounds that had festered within you, but the tenderness in his eyes was what finally reached you. His hand slid down to your shoulder, his thumb grazing the skin there. His warmth surrounded you, and you let yourself sink into the comfort of his words. The jealousy, the insecurity that had burned so fiercely in you when you saw him with her, melted in the face of the tenderness he was offering now.

You swallowed, trying to steady yourself as your heart raced, the intensity of the moment almost overwhelming. “Zayne… Zayne’s just a friend,” you said, your voice fragile but firm, “someone who helped me... helped me see past the stuff in my head. After everything, I just... needed someone to remind me that I’m not broken.”

Sylus's eyes softened even more, the depth of his gaze sending shivers down your spine. He nodded slowly, his expression filled with understanding. The tension between you didn’t disappear entirely, but it was now laced with something more tender. More real.

“You’re not broken, Darling.” he repeated, and there was a quiet strength in his voice, something that made you believe him more than you ever had before. “You’re everything I’ve ever needed... and more.”

"I... I’m sorry," you whispered, a lump in your throat as you looked up at him. "I never wanted to make you feel like I didn’t care. I just... I was afraid you’d choose her over me."

Sylus’s fingers brushed against the nape of your neck, pulling you closer, his forehead pressing gently against yours. "You never have to apologize for that, Darling." he murmured, his voice warm, his breath mingling with yours. “It was my fault and I accept that.”

The room was quiet, save for the soft sound of your breathing, as Sylus stood before you, his face drawn with intensity. The flickering light from the lamp cast soft shadows across his features, but his gaze... his gaze was sharp, focused entirely on you.

"I love you, Darling" he said, his words lingering in the air as though they were the first time he had allowed himself to say them out loud. "I’m in love with you," he confessed, his voice steady despite the raw emotion that tinged it. "I’ve been in love with you for a while now, and I’ve tried to deny it. Tried to hide it from you and myself, but I can’t anymore. I won’t. I love you, and I need you to know that."

The breath you hadn’t realized you were holding caught in your throat. Everything in you froze, then splintered. The confession, so pure, so vulnerable, hit you with a force you hadn’t been prepared for. You stood there, unable to move, a mix of surprise and relief flooding your chest.

He loves you. Sylus. The one you had longed for, yearned, and hoped for in silence. Your heart stuttered in your chest, the world around you growing impossibly still.

"I…" you whispered, voice trembling, and you had to stop, had to steady yourself before the words could spill from your lips. "I’ve love you too," you said, your voice barely more than a breath, but it carried all the weight of everything you had kept inside. "I’ve loved you, and I never told you because I was afraid. Afraid that I was asking too much. Afraid of the rejection. Afraid that I wasn’t enough."

Sylus’s expression softened, his lips curling into a frown as he stepped forward, closing the space between you. His hands reached for you, but not in the way you had feared or expected. They were gentle, his touch a plea for understanding. "Oh, darling," he whispered, shaking his head slowly. "I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you ever felt like you needed to hide it from me."

He reached up, brushing his thumb along your cheek, and you flinched slightly, your emotions suddenly overwhelming you, raw and untamed. "We’re both idiots," he continued, his voice almost tender with the weight of the admission. "We’ve been skirting around each other, afraid of saying the one thing we both needed to say."

Your laugh came out soft, almost fragile, the tension in your chest breaking for the first time since Sylus had walked into your home. It was a quiet sound, but it was the first time you’d laughed all night, the first time you’d allowed yourself to feel something other than fear or uncertainty in the past few weeks with him involved. But that laugh didn’t last long. As soon as it came, the tears followed, the ones you had been holding back for so long, finally slipping free. The dam you had built up crumbled, and before you could stop them, hot tears streamed down your face. before you could even reach up to brush them away, his hand was there, steady and warm against your cheek.

"Don’t," you whispered, your voice thick with the ache you could no longer hide. "Please, don’t look at me like this. I’m—"

"Stop," Sylus interrupted softly, his hand holding yours gently, his gaze unwavering. "Don’t hide from me. I want to see all of you… everything you’ve been hiding. I know you think I don’t see it, but I do." His eyes locked onto yours with such intensity that you couldn’t look away. "I see it when you think I’m not watching. I see the way you pull back, the way you hide the parts of you that you think I can’t handle. But I am looking. I’ve always been looking. And I don’t want you to hide anymore. Not from me. And I’m here and I want all of you."

His words were a medicine to the parts of you that had been bruised, the parts that had feared being exposed, vulnerable. But in his eyes, there was only love. No judgment. No pity. Just... love. And it was enough. It was more than enough.

The tears that had slipped down your face slowed, but they didn’t stop. You didn’t try to wipe them away this time, allowing yourself to be seen for the first time in ages. The sobs that followed were soft but trembled with relief, with something finally breaking open inside of you.

Sylus’s arms were around you in an instant, pulling you close, holding you in the kind of embrace that made you feel as though you could finally breathe, as though the weight of everything you had been carrying could finally be set down.

"I’m sorry," you whispered, almost broken. "I’ve been so scared, Sylus. Scared of this, of being cast away... of losing you."

"You’ll never lose me, Darling." he murmured, his voice firm and unwavering as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

You tilted your head back slightly, your face still damp with the remnants of the tears that had fallen, and through your wet lashes, you searched his face. Sylus held you close, his arms wrapped around you in a way that made you feel safe, even as the doubts lingered in your heart. You wanted to believe him, but the fear, the uncertainty, was still there, buried deep beneath the surface.

He must have seen it in your eyes, the way you still hesitated, the uncertainty you couldn't quite shake. Sylus made a half-frustrated sound in the back of his throat, his hands tightening around you for a split second, before they slid up to cradle your face. His thumb brushed against your cheek again, a tender, pleading touch, before he leaned in, his lips finding yours in a sudden, urgent kiss.

The kiss was unlike any other. It wasn’t slow, it wasn’t soft. It was intense, filled with desperation, as though he needed you to understand just how deeply he felt for you, just how much you meant to him. His hands cupped your face, holding you as if you were the only thing that mattered in that moment, as if the world had stopped turning just for you. His lips pressed against yours with a kind of fire, but it wasn’t angry, no. It was passionate, desperate in its own way, like he wanted you to feel how important you were to him, how much you had been wanted, loved.

Your hands trembled as they reached up, gripping the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer, wanting to bridge the distance between you, as though the kiss itself could erase every lingering doubt in your heart. Your breath hitched when you felt his pulse quicken under your touch, his heartbeat matching the frantic pace of your own. Each breath you took seemed to echo in the stillness of the room, mingling with the heat of his kiss, our lips moving together with a quiet urgency, the world beyond the two of you fading into a distant blur. You felt everything—every brush of his fingers, every subtle shift of his body against yours, the way his chest rose and fell beneath your palms, how his breath felt against your lips as if he couldn’t get close enough to you.

Your chests rose and fell together, the world spinning around you. You could feel the heat of him, the urgency that still lingered in his touch, the way he kept you close, almost as if he were afraid to let go.

Breathing became an afterthought, both of you gasping for air when the kiss broke, but neither of you pulled far enough away to lose the connection. Sylus’s forehead rested against yours, his breath hot against your lips as he whispered, voice still heavy with emotion. “Every day, from henceforth, I will work to make sure you never feel the need to doubt yourself. Not in my life. Not with me." His words, slow and deliberate, sank deep into your heart like a promise he would keep.

The intensity of the moment hung between you both, the room still, save for the soft sound of your breathing as you both slowly came back to reality. But in his eyes, you saw nothing but certainty—certainty that you were enough. That you always had been.

His hand found yours again, fingers weaving with yours, and he gave it a gentle squeeze, as if the simple touch was a quiet reassurance.

"You are everything to me," he murmured, his voice steady now, grounding you as much as his embrace. "And I’ll make sure you never forget that.”

Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment, absorbing his words, his warmth, his certainty. In his arms, you could feel the truth of his promise, somewhere deep inside, the doubts began to fade.

For the first time in a long time, you believed him. And when he kissed you again, this time softer, it was like the beginning of something new.

AN: reblogs, feedback and opinions are appreciated!

hi! back with my bullshit. i've been feral about jing yuan lately, AGAIN. this man never leaves the crevices of my barely-wrinkled brain. this time, i'm thinking about sparring with him... you're both grinning and out of breath and you swear jing yuan is trying to rile you up even more with his constant grabbing you whenever he can. and then you end up pinned under him, with his big hands squeezing every piece of your skin he can like he's trying to tear you apart.. oh i'm drooling

punching bag — jing yuan

summary. you regret day in and day out that you asked general jing yuan to help you work on your swordsmanship, and it doesn’t help that he barely takes it seriously.

notes. hi mords my little goober this is for u. also for anyone that likes jing yuan. and praise. and ummm. sweaty sword fighting and making out. i guess.

warnings. minor innuendos. you can tell how i feel about jing yuan just by this piece alone.

“Stick it, old man.” Your sword blocks his, and you gasp in triumph. His blade is inches from your throat, but your own keeps it in place.

It is heavy, though. You geniunely wonder how he’s able to even fight with something that can crack a tree log in two faster than an axe can.

You pant in exasperation, and you almost choke on your spit with excitement. Though you feel as though to your face is on fire and your hair is matted with sweat, the smile on your face is golden.

General Jing Yuan grins. His teeth flash. “Well done.”

You pull back the weapon after a moment, exhausted as you swallow thickly. There’s adrenaline coursing through your veins, and your heart is pumping so sporadically you’re sure it’s about to escape from your throat.

Then, you do it again, and again, and again, and again, and your triumph slowly moulds into something worse. You feel utterly pathetic, being able to fend off the General of the Luofu as if it’s like spreading butter on bread.

To that, you lower your weapon after what seems like hours, but was only a few minutes. “Are you even trying?”

Jing Yuan teases you with a taut smile. “Why would you think otherwise? What if you’ve just dramatically improved?”

You scrunch your face up at that.

His eyes light up with mischief before he raises his weapon. “Come. Again.”

Hesitantly, you draw your blade once more. It’s the same cut as his, you’re sure, for a more even match. It’s hardly ‘even’ though, when one wrong move will have his weapon cracking yours into two. And you feel it every time you manage to stop him.

You clear your throat and stumble back for a moment. Maybe a second of pep talk and talking down to yourself. That usually works

Jing Yuan yawns when you take too long. He’s not even looking at you; rather, he’s busy observing his weapon for any impurities on the blade.

That sets you off.

Your face burns with fury and you reel your fist backwards until it flies at his stupid, dumb, handsome face.

He catches your knuckles easily with his palm. “Someone’s growing claws,” he whispers. He taps you lightly on the leg with his blade. “I am teaching you the way of the blade, first and foremost, before hand-to-hand combat.”

“Scared I’ll land a punch, old man?” you spit, trying to swipe at his face again.

“Terrified,” he responds. “Now. Shoulders back. Again.”

You huff.

Again.

He blocks.

He dodges.

You curse at him at first. He only replies with a fond chuckle.

Then, you stumble, over and over again. He manages to trip you with his foot about ten times. On the eleventh attempt, you stop his attack with a stomp on his blade, but he simply pulls it out from underneath you.

You pull the blade forward and try to slice his face in half. His weapon stops yours almost too easily.

You grow frustrated and almost throw your weapon to the floor in defeat.

“Start trying a little less?” you ask him through bated breaths.

“Having a rough time?” he teases before simply side stepping your next manoeuvre with his eyes shut, before one gentle shove of his finger against your back as you stumbling right to the floor. “Again. You aren’t balanced.”

You try to stand up, but your legs give out, and you crumble to your knees again. He’s not even holding you against the floor, and embarrassment flares in your stomach.

You try fanning at your face with your hands. The afternoon sun is beating down hot and hard, and you’re clearly not the only one struggling. Jing Yuan busies himself untying his hair to retire it since it has come loose and has begun sticking to his face.

You swallow distastefully as you stare up at him from the floor.

He straightens the ribbon in his hair and shakes out the sweat thats beginning to matt in his roots.

You’re too busy admiring his arms to give a shit about what he’s saying, considering his lips are moving. His stupidly big fucking arms. That you want him to squash you with until you can’t feel your face. And can’t breathe.

“Is that all you can take?” he hums. His palms must be sweating as he readjusts the fingerless gloves he’s wearing. He breathes out once, evenly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you huff and manage to stand to your feet. “Some people aren’t immortal beings with ridiculous spouts of stamina.”

“The stamina comes from training,” he reminds. He’s retrieved your weapon, and he holds it out to you. “And discipline.”

Whatever. Begrudgingly, you snatch it from his hand and raise it.

“Imagine as if this is a fight to the death,” is all he tells you.

And you try. You really do try.

It’s almost as if he grows extra limbs when the time calls for it. Just when you believe both his hands are busy and you find an opening, he suddenly grows a third leg, or an extra finger, or something, and he’s magically stopped your next move. He can predict your every move; he can read every time you’re thrown off guard or you’re distracted or your foot stance is off. He doesn’t so much throw you to the floor, but rather allows gravity to do the work for him.

He does ensure you have a soft landing, however. So, you suppose he can play nice sometimes — that, and the last time he offered to be your punching bag, you’d ended up hitting your head so hard on the ground that you were stuck in the hospital for three days with a horrible concussion.

“Feeling any better?” he asked curiously a few hours after you’d been admitted. He’d been kind enough to visit your little room and was busy poking at a small teddy bear one of your friends had gifted you, alongside three cards and a bouquet of flowers.

That… he’d given you. Well, you think he did, because you don’t remember seeing them before he showed up. You were too miserable to really ask about it, though, so you kept your mouth shut.

“No,” you mumbled. “I feel like… shit.”

He hums sympathetically.

“I apologise again,” Jing Yuan said softly, slotting next to you on the bed and resting a hand on your arm. “If you need me for anything, do let me know.”

You take a deep breath to try and settle your queasy stomach.

“Yeah,” you slurred. Watching him is hard work as it is; you’re already dizzy and nauseous and you were growing antsy and worried that you’d need to puke again. Negative points if the General had to witness it. “Fuckin’ catch me next time.”

He grinned and lightly pinched your cheek, much to your chagrin. “Yes, General.”

You almost fly to the floor again, and Jing Yuan grabs at your hips and straightens you quickly.

You murmur, “I’m not gonna die if I fall.” Your face is hot with blood and you try to turn away from him to hide it.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous.” He’s even dusting off your shoulders and slicking back the short hairs stuck to your forehead. “You’re a fragile thing. I’d hate to see you get hurt again.”

You try and throw another punch.

He clicks his tongue when you almost crash your nose into his chest plate. And you’ve done that before — and Aeons, that hurt, too.

Miserably, you drop your sword and it clatters to the ground with a terrible noise.

You raise your arms up and thwack him in the chest lightly.

He hums. “Have I told you your arms look better?” He reaches and squeezes at one of your biceps. “Much better.” He looks content, and there’s a coy smile at his lips.

Your face burns.

Your eyes are sparkling, but disdain curls over your tone. “You’re a riot, General. Do you flirt with everyone like this?”

“Maybe,” he responds quickly.

You step back and clear your throat as you retrieve your weapon. “Don’t make me jealous.”

He’s just simply dodging everything, and the flat side of his sword smashes against your stomach, neck, thighs, ribs, anywhere he can reach.

It doesn’t help with every soft land he hits on you, he follows it up with a quick, “dead.”

He taps your ankle at one point and does it again. Your teeth grit and you try to slice his hand clean off.

He easily removes himself.

“I can’t block every angle,” you defend as he straightens up. “How can I block my face and my feet at the same time?”

“By foot stance,” he chimes in lightly. “Here’s a tip: stand back. A sword as deft as this one—” He reaches forward and pinches the tip of the blade between his fingers, “—can be used decently at a distance. Don’t stand directly in front of me.” He presents his own weapon. You don’t even try to hold it up. “Because of its weight, you have a distance advantage over me. And, I have to work around it.”

You listen. You don’t want to, out of spite, but you do. You know he’s not purposefully making you feel useless; he’s told you many times he thinks your skills are impressive. He’s more so attempting to rile you up.

And it’s working.

You’re too busy admiring his biceps to care. “Nice arms.”

He displays a boyish grin just for you. “Thank you.” Then, he readjusts his grip on the hilt. “If you weren’t so busy ogling, you’d have an opening.”

“I play nice, General,” you remind him. “I’m not going to cheat.”

“If you say so,” he taunts.

And then, he lunges for you.

General Jing Yuan hasn’t once initiated a fight on his hand, and it nearly takes you off guard. It’s been a back and forth of you trying to land a clean hit, and him easily avoiding your shots.

You just about manage to hold him off when you almost trip backwards. You regain your footing and nerves wrack up your spine. He swings again. He barely misses your neck when your sword clashes with his blade.

“Good,” he murmurs. “You’re learning.”

“Ooh,” you whisper. “I love it when you stroke my ego.”

“I know.” He tries again, this time reeling back and switching the blade to his left hand to try and catch you off guard. You block that one, too.

You giggle like an idiot.

Then, you shove him backwards with your sword and go for a swipe at his nose.

It doesn’t exactly go the way you planned. Not on your part. Jing Yuan praised you afterwards for the execution, but this is the General of the Luofu, and if he wanted to win, he would win. At any cost.

He trips you over just as easily as he had the other eleven times. Your hands instinctively fly out towards the ground to cushion your fall, but you don’t quite make it all the way into the grass this time.

He catches you again, this time in some makeshift position as if you’d been dancing instead of trying to literally kill him, but he does keep your head from smashing into the floor again. You can feel the headache forming just thinking about it.

Jing Yuan knocks the sword from your hand and it falls by your feet.

“I was having fun,” you whine lowly to him. “You always spoil everything.”

There’s exhilaration there, and you feel it surge in your heart, hot and heavy. You’re excited, somewhat. The adrenaline pumps through your veins, and your skin is so warm and light you feel as though you could pop at any moment.

It doesn’t help your case that the general is so close to you, and has a smile so wide you’re worried his face will split into two.

You admire him for a moment too long.

A moment so long that his grin grows impossibly wider, and mischief flares in his eyes.

His grip loosens.

Your heart drops to your stomach.

You scrabble in a panic and your arms swing around his shoulders.

He holds you again with a snicker.

“You win,” you declare finally. “I’m going home.”

“Sure.” He doesn’t move. “If you can free yourself, that is.”

You barely try to wriggle from his grasp before sighing. “C’mon. I’m tired.” His grip doesn’t even loosen his hold in the slightest. “We can do this tomorrow.”

“This is your last test,” he announces, somewhat dramatically. “Imagine that this is your final moment to choose between life and death.” With one hand still encircling your waist, the other lets go reach downward just enough to retrieve your sword. “There is very little you can do.”

The sword gently taps against your sternum, angled just enough for the tip to barely threaten a carving into your chest.

You claw at his arms, but he doesn’t budge. Your back strains with the position he holds you in, and your legs barely have enough leverage to keep you standing.

You are quite literally at his mercy.

And again, your footwork is off.

You grunt when he leans in close. Way too close for comfort. You feel somewhat like a caged animal, and you’re sure you look the part.

“There are decisions you can make, however,” he chides. “Five seconds. Think.”

You glance down at your weapon pointed at your chest. You hesitantly unwrap your arms from around his neck and try and grab at it.

In the time it’s taken you to muster the courage to let go of him, his grip loosens around your waist again. Your heart drops and you quickly curl your arms around his shoulders again.

“Too slow,” is all he remarks. “Four.”

You make a desperate attempt at wriggling from his grasp, but he only chuckles at your futility.

“Three.”

You almost give up. “This is dumb.”

“Two.”

You narrow your eyes at him. The worst idea springs to mind, and for the final second, you second-guess yourself.

“One–”

Your hands shift from his arms to his cheeks, and you draw him as close as you could before you strained your neck upwards.

Your lips press against his in a last ditch effort as a distraction, and for a moment, you believe it doesn’t work. He completely freezes up and stiffens in your grasp like a corpse.

The sword still presses to your chest, and you find it uncomfortable to inhale for a moment. It feels as though one wrong move will send the sharpened blade driving forth into your skin.

And then, he drops the weapon in favour of slotting his hand behind your head and keeping you on him. The sound of metal hitting the floor rings distantly in your ears.

His lips are coated in sweat, and you taste salt and oranges. The scent is addicting enough, oddly, and you sigh into his mouth with relief.

His hand wanders. Not dangerously, but enough to keep you alert. It slides from your hair to your throat, and it remains against your jugular for a good long while. His thumb then flutters to the notch and keeps you still and placated.

Then, he rubs gently at your sternum, as if in apology. You pay it no mind. Your hands are still, save for the gentle stroke at the nape of his neck.

He’s teasing you, you figure out, even when he’s all wrapped around your finger like the ribbon in his hair. He pulls away constantly to see if you’ll give chase, and of course you do.

You’d feel almost pathetic if he wasn’t eagerly returning the kiss like an idiot.

He then pulls away. Much too quickly for your liking.

You frown and try to tug at his hair to bring him on your tongue.

Jing Yuan presses his fingers to your lips. “I thought you said you played nice?”

“Whatever, handsome,” you mumble. You reach upwards and tussle his already messy hair.

His lips are red with spit. Your spit. You did that. Gross.

Your heart flutters and you giggle.

“That would’ve been a good time to throw a punch,” he says after a moment.

You think about it. Then, you reel your fist back and aim at his face. “Sure.”

His other arm holds strong wrapped around your waist when he catches your wrist. Instead, he places soft kisses along your knuckles.

Something hot bubbles in your stomach. Easy.

“Will you kiss every opponent that bests you like that?” Jing Yuan asks quietly, a sneaking grin growing on his reddened lips.

You hum softly and cup his face gently. “Maybe.”

He scoffs lightly. “Don’t make me jealous.”

MAHOYAKU WIZARDS on the wedding day

he has checked everything from the venue to the centrepieces in intervals of five minutes. it had reached a point where he had to be dragged away by his best man: nero

tries to take it easy but is filled with nerves. however, the excitement of his union overtakes any fears. might cry a little when he sees his s/o at the alter: heathcliff, chloe

nonchalant and relaxed throughout all the proceedings. even a meteorite crashing next door won't shake his nerves. people kept asking who the groom is: oz, shylock, rustica, lennox

he was eager to get the formal stuff out of the way so he could actually celebrate the union with his s/o and guests. he's not coming out of this sober: cain, bradley, rutile

there is no wedding because he hates the idea of a big social gathering. he is eloping: faust

there is no wedding out of concern for the guests. nothing wrong with common law marriage, i guess: mithra, owen, murr

he has avoidant-attachment issues: figaro

TO FIND YOU

── ♡ SATAN

you held no ill will towards lilith. all she had done was exist. that doesn't stop others from warping their perception of you. luckily, satan understands how you feel.

His world began with the scent of copper and scorching heat that nipped at his skin. Yours began in the arms of your mother and the fluorescent light of the hospital room. He was bathed in blood that was not his own whilst you were dressed in warm, cotton gowns. His father mourned not for his birth, but for the loss of someone of greater importance than him. Yours will kiss your chubby cheeks and hold your tiny clenched fists.

Your beginnings couldn’t be any more different. However, that will not change the antecedent of your and Satan’s existence. Lilith, a woman neither of you met, but suddenly became the forefront in your and Satan’s minds. Belphegor’s attack, your ancestry and the proceeding actions of the brothers muddy the sight behind your eyelids. Your late-night contemplations end up coinciding with Satan’s when you both catch each other in the act of making chamomile tea. You wonder what would have happened if you had never gone to the kitchen that night, never knowing of the identical internal strife Satan would be having.

He told you that after the incident, thoughts of Lilith have also begun to plague him. You take in the defeat in his tone and launch into rambles of your own because if Satan is beginning to peek over the emotional wall he has made, you will have to break it down on your own. You tell him she doesn’t threaten you, a ghost who hadn’t existed to you before this week. You know you are still you, you are just afraid of that day you will no longer be considered that by his brothers.

He listened to you quietly, sipping on his tea, and once you were done you finally took a long look at him. Satan is a gorgeous demon, beauty touched by something beyond your understanding. No human man can compare to him because humans are decorated by flaws, scars and history. Demons are above earthly qualities like that. Yet, when you take in the dimness of Satan’s emerald eyes and how he tilts his head back to rest it against the headboard you begin to see it. The weight that strains his shoulders, and the mask he meticulously puts on. You are reminded that even he can share the burden of overthinking and late-night worries with you.

He tells you of his childhood (“If I can even call it that,” He scoffs). His birth marked the end of Lilith, and when he was first brought home in Lucifer’s bleeding arms, there was no denying the role he had already been dressed into. It was a sick joke, he thinks, to have been born so similar to Lilith with golden hair and eyes the colour of dew-covered grass. He recalls to you how Beelzbebub and Belphegor could barely look him in the eyes, how Asmodeus attempted to falsely dote on him because he never really saw him but his baby sister, of how Lucifer would meet his gaze as if he’s seen a ghost.

“But I was not her. I never could be,” He tells you firmly, eyes steely as if wanting to make this fact clear to you as well. He didn’t need to. You know very well he’s Satan, a tired Satan who's sitting on your bed with you and nursing his tea like a lifeline. He is intelligent, cunning, multitalented, someone who has trouble wearing his heart on his sleeve but the diehard romantic in him wishes he could. Lilith was bluntly honest, unconditionally kind, brimmed with curiosity and tended to make herself seen wherever she went. You don’t need to list these differences for Satan to know he couldn’t be her replacement, and she could never replace the role he’s built in this house either. As if reading your mind, the blonde smiles wryly.

“I know what I am,” and as if to say “You know what you are too”, Satan taps his fingers three times on the exposed skin of your arm. His eyes are rounded in affection, and you can’t bite back your sheepish smile either.

Things will be okay.

late to the "leona kingscholar has a driving license⁉️" train but i do think that he goes on road trips with you as often as he can, especially if you're visiting him in the sunset savanna. the palace is stifling and teeming with haughty nobles who see him as nothing but the scruffy second choice to his golden brother, and he'd rather not subject you to his own misery and suffering in that place. he'd rather take you to see the beauty of the kingdom that could have been his, as bitter as it is, and he'll never say this aloud, but there's a certain domesticity to be found with seeing you on the front seat of his jeep, chattering excitedly about the next place you want to check out as you flip through the little map that's nothing compared to leona's knowledge of all the hideaways and secret spots around the capital but he lets you keep to entertain yourself. wind in your hair, your feet up on the dash, and if you find that he doesn't pull his hand away from yours when he first tugs you back, chiding "don't lean so far out, you're gonna lose your head", then don't say anything about it unless you want a grumpy lion grumbling at you (you'll do it anyway, and leona will be no less fonder of you)

SOMETHING ABOUT YOU

── ♡ KAFKA OGURO

if there was anything that annoyed kafka more than you, it was nosy scandalmongers. unfortunately, he has to deal with both of you, all at once. you, on the other hand, enjoy having fun when the opportunity lands on your lap. unfortunately, you underestimate kafka's ability to worm his way into people's hearts.

The disbelief laugh that leaves you is wobbly and hoarse, and it’s only upon Kafka Oguro’s unimpressed stare that you dutifully shut your mouth.

“You can’t be serious,” You stammer, dropping your flimsy plastic fork into the box of cheesy fries (paid by Kafka, which you now realise was a means to butter you up). The sigh that escapes his lips is heavy and exhausted, and he drops his chin into the palm of his hand.

“Unfortunately not,” He slides his phone across the table, and you look over at the dimly lit screen, choking at the headlines that read.

“Ward 0 mayor rumoured to be in a relationship.”

“CEO of HAMA Tours spotted leaving with mystery lover.”

“Oguro Kafka in committed romance.”

You suck in your teeth sharply, muttering a “yikes” as he draws back his device. Despite your mild pity, your curiosity takes centre stage and you waste no time in interjecting your thoughts within the lull of awkward silence.

“That sucks but… I’m not sure why you invited me here just to tell me this?” You raised a valid question. While the local fast food joint was no fine dining, you and Kafka weren’t exactly friendly enough for him to unload his concerns onto you in a casual setting. He was your quasi-boss! You’d go as far as to believe he didn’t even like you much, considering his austere disposition whenever you entered a room. You probably would have already been packing up your office if it wasn’t for the fact that it was the Chief who had hired you.

Your suspicions about Kafka’s intent began to arise, and you realised too late what was going on when his observant eyes met yours.

“This nonsense began when the Chief and I had gone out for dinner together. Because of my lack of spatial awareness, I wasn’t aware that the lead editor of the famous gossip magazine ‘Paramour Monthly’ had been close by our table…” He fishes for something in his messenger bag, pulling out a rolled-up paper. Vibrant hues of purple and pink flood the parchment, the iconic colour scheme of the magazine, and a blurry photo of two figures is printed on the front page. However, with Momiji’s standard grey jacket and Kafka’s distinct violet hair, it was unmistakable to you that it was them sitting in a booth together.

While usually this type of idle chatter could have gone easily ignored, a magazine as famous as Paramour Monthly could cause enough stir that HAMA Tours’ operations could be disturbed as scandal-mongering fans will hunt for the mystery babe. No doubt this news would be disturbing Momiji as well…

“I don’t have any intent of making the Chief have to deal with this ridiculousness. If I could, I’d take the burden on myself entirely. However, that’s not possible,” He clears his throat, and when he looks you straight in the eye, you realise you have stuck your foot into a quagmire the minute you accepted his invitation.

“I’d like to ask if you can take on the role of being my… secret significant other.”

You drop your milkshake onto the plush vinyl of the sofa.

After having to repeatedly apologise to the flustered and tired staff of the food court, Kafka takes the awkward walk back to the office as an opportunity to elaborate on his new grand plan.

The gist is that for a long-term bonus in your salary, you will be his mystery lover until the excitement dies down, in which you both will fake an amicable separation and continue business as usual. In his own words, you were also his last option, seeing as you were the only one he knew who had no reputation at stake here. Upon the promise of the bribe, you had cheered up significantly to this ordeal. Kafka, on the other hand, was the one who looked the most reproachful.

“Should I call you something trendy like ‘babe’, or would something more traditional like ‘sweetheart’ work better?” You ask, and the look he sends you is scathing.

“None of them,” He answers curtly, and you sigh, disparaged.

“You don’t get how this whole fake dating thing works, do you?” When he meets your inquisitive gaze with a blank stare, that’s all the answer you need. You feel a tickle in your stomach as you puff out your chest exaggeratedly.

“Allow me to give you a crash course on the inner workings of this timeless troupe called—” Your lurch backwards when Kafka closes the entrance door behind him, barely missing your nose by a breath’s hair. All you see is his disappearing back as you yell behind him about how that was no way for him to treat his pseudo-significant other.

(i)

“They’re right,” Momiji says piteously, and Kafka’s shoulders droop in disappointment. “Nobody would believe it if you guys act like that in public.”

The Chief, upon being filled with both gratitude and shame, had offered to lend a helping hand to see this farce to success. Today was the day to discuss the boundaries and codes of conduct necessary to allow the public to believe you two were a professional but loving couple.

(Kafka’s stomach churns at the notion, despite it being his novelty idea.)

“We’re going to have to hold hands and be corny, so you’re going to have to get used to it, Kafka,” You state squarely, and his childhood friend nods in agreement, much to his growing displeasure.

“We’ll eventually have to use pet names.”

“Yup, that’s right!”

“And we might have to kiss and stuff.”

“Exa–Wait, isn’t that a little too far!?” Momiji gapes at you while you, shameless, sit firmly as if you are manning a fort. Kafka sighs.

“Do you see why I’m reluctant?” He points out and this time her tired gaze sweeps over to him.

“Kafka, you’re the one who asked them.”

Perhaps her growing exhaustion at dealing with the both of you got to her because Momiji made a half-hearted excuse of having to check up on EV3NS before swiftly departing the solemn conference room. This leaves you and Kafka at your lonesome, staring each other down with shared annoyance.

“I don’t get it. I’m trying to make this work,” For my salary.

“We don’t need to go overboard in selling the act. I’ll look ridiculous,” In front of Momiji.

After an intense moment of staring each other down, you’re the first to give in.

“Fine. We’ll keep it as down-low as possible, but you have to start being more of a gentleman to me,” You warn, closing the lid of your laptop and grabbing your warming carbonated drink. You are visibly disquieted, much to his confusion, even as you lift your backpack over your shoulders and make your way to the door.

“I don’t understand why you’re disappointed,” Kafka questions behind you, and you pause with your hand situated around the door handle, rooted in place. If Kafka had been any less observant, he would have missed your lips' slight tremble.

“Because you’d be my first boyfriend, even if a fake one,” You quickly shut the door before he could get a word in, the only sound in the room being the quiet whirring of the air conditioner. For the first time, you’re the one who leaves the purple-haired man flustered.

(ii)

Much to your surprise, Kafka lived up to his end of the agreement.

For the past two months, you’ve grown familiar with the feeling of Kafka’s hand around yours, and the scent of peppermint from his minty cologne. While at first, any type of touching had been reserved solely for passing publicists and fans, eventually, you barely realised that you were in the habit of grabbing onto him whenever you were excited or happy. Likewise, it skips your attention how he doesn’t shove you away, or that his eyes soften at the corners whenever you aren’t looking.

He had even begun doing unnecessary things, like texting you ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ despite his packed itinerary, and bringing you thoughtful gifts and souvenirs whenever he left the comfort of HAMA. He had even booked a lavish dinner at a famous restaurant on your birthday, paired with a large bouquet delivered to your room.

There were no cameras, no nosy editors, and no extra eyes to bear witness to his vocal affection. It came with the unsettling realisation and a pounding heart that you liked Kafka, and it brought along a wave of dread and a permanent lump stuck in your throat.

When you start pulling away, you miss the fact that you’re not the only one who has been gutted by new realisations and uncomfortable feelings.

Kafka Oguro, despite his stinging attitude, never truly disliked you. You had annoyed him, sure, and he knows you were purposeful in the way you push buttons. He’s met people like you before, who are terrified of being veracious, that they’d happily play the role of a fool if it meant people laughed with them rather than at them. Thus, he harmonised with you by being your straight man, armed with biting retorts and lacklustre reactions.

Now that he thinks about it, perhaps he’s given you enough reason to believe he held animosity against you. He regrets it enough when you confessed he’d be your first relationship, even if it were only a guise. He had tried his best to make it up to you by masquerading as the ideal boyfriend, letting you hold onto his arm whenever you walked together, and letting you call him by whatever cheesy name that crossed your mind.

Until he realised that he had long since stopped acting. Kafka can’t pinpoint the exact moment when he had begun carefully picking out gifts for you, excited for your reaction, or when his heart began skipping a few beats whenever he spies you in a crowded room. You had a personalised ringtone on his phone. Momiji started pointing out that he doesn’t sit still until you respond to his texts. He had started requesting Sakujiro to reserve the breakfast muffins you like because, by the time you usually arrive at the cafeteria, they are gone. Thoughts of you completely rule his mind, and he’s not stupid enough not to know what this means for him.

In the safety of your respective covers, you and Kafka lay in bed, equally dreading the expiry date of this relationship.

(iii)

You blink, and it is New Year’s Eve.

HAMA Tours’ office is decorated with festive lights, colourful streamers and the wafting smell of delicious food. The ward mayors and employees alike are in higher spirits, exchanging excitable conversation and rambunctious antics. For once, it is you who stands silently amongst the sea of bodies, smiling wildly whenever anyone’s eyes land on you, but there is an unmistakable tremble in your hands that nurse a cup of juice.

Of course, it’s he who notices first, and you barely realise the tug on your arm until your drink is stolen from your hands and you meet the electric stare of Kafka.

“Can I steal you for a moment?” He asks with a small smile, and you smartly nod as you let yourself be drawn along by Kafka’s hand around your wrist. You don’t realise his destination until you are standing beside him as he unlocks the door to the building’s rooftop.

The chilly breeze hits your face, but you count yourself lucky for wearing extra layers. This doesn’t stop Kafka from unwrapping the scarf around his next, gently fixing it over you despite your frequent protests.

“You’ll get sick!” You counter and he doesn’t respond, plopping himself onto a bench decorating the deserted space. He pats the empty spot next to him and you have no choice but to comply with his demands. He tilts his head back and you apprehensively copy him, eyeing the inky sky glowing with starlight. He doesn’t speak, the silence only occasionally interrupted by the muffled noises inside the building and the usual ambience of nighttime city life. When you glance at him from the corner of your eyes, you hate how you can’t decipher the look on his face, regardless of how utterly beautiful you find him under the moonlight.

“Are you going to tell me something cheesy that the moon looks beautiful tonight?” You attempt to tease but lack the usual vibrance in your voice. You know this when Kafka finally turns to look at you, and he doesn’t look pleased.

“Why are you upset?” You reel back at his question, and unconsciously your hands begin to fiddle with the loose threads of your winter coat.

“Why would you think that?” You divert, shifting to create more distance between you and him. This does little to deter him because he leans closer to you with narrowed eyes. It’s how he gets when he realises he’s caught someone hook, line and sinker.

“You’ve been distant. I know you enough to pick up on that,” He hesitates before his fingertips graze yours. It takes all the strength you can muster to ignore his hurt expression when you yank back your hand.

“How much longer are you going to drag this along? It’s been long enough that nobody cares anymore. So why do you—” You descent into stammers, your chest seizing up as you keep your eyes on anywhere but him. “Why do you keep doing romantic things for me? Buying me stuff, always trying to talk to me, always asking how I’m doing… are you really that cruel that you don’t realise what it’s doing to me?”

You drop your face into your hands, feeling tears well up at the corner of your eyes. You couldn’t bear to see the look on Kafka’s face right now. He’s likely disgusted, or angered by you ruining his carefully thought-out efforts in maintaining this guise. Is he going to walk back inside, or tell you it’s over?

You feel warm hands circle your wrist, and you weakly let him tug your hands away from your face. He looks up at you from where he sits crouched on the tiled floor, and you feel your heart lurch in your throat because has Kafka ever looked at you with so much adoration before?

“I don’t want it to end,” He confesses quietly, enough that his voice could be drowned out by the passing wind. He lifts the back of your hand to his lips, pressing a sweet kiss to your knuckles. He smiles up at you, the affection mixed with a hint of mischief when he catches sight of your bewildered visage. “If you’d want me, I’d like to be your boyfriend. Genuinely, this time.”

He’s given no time to react before you throw your arms around him, leaning into him as he falls back on his tailbone. The position is awkward and uncomfortable, but the both of you could care less as his arms envelop your waist and you litter kisses to his face. Fireworks erupt in the sky, colouring the sky with luminescence as he finally seals the deal with his lips pressed against yours.

HEIRLOOM

── ♡ FAUST LAVINIA

faust's painful reminiscence of the past, just before everything was lost.

Most nights, Faust dreams of fire.

It nips at his blistered, cracked soles as his parched throat screams for mercy or water. Not a single sound ever leaves his lips, and he’s left with this helpless silence and the burning tightness of rope against his skin. Through his vision blurry with tears and pain, he’ll see Alec, grim-faced and like a skeleton. The flames crackle louder.

Sometimes, Alec’s face is swapped for another, and he’ll see you standing desolately amongst the crowd of still bodies. He can never see the expression you are making, but you always turn and leave halfway. The dreams where you are there always manage to hurt the most.

He rouses himself awake, and after so many centuries of these same nightmares, his heart no longer pounds and he does not desperately grasp for the bedsheets to his side. Now, all he feels are dull aches and a fresh wave of regret. He forces his sweaty body to sit up and reaches blindly for his jug of water. It does little to relieve, but Faust has long since accepted that little can soothe him. He has hurtled to a murky territory in his mind long ago, and he’s only just begun those reluctant steps towards greener grass.

He wonders if you’d be proud of him, but he quickly abandons the notion by digging his face back into the cotton fabric of his pillow. Useless thoughts.

(i)

Faust can’t recall a time when he hasn’t yearned for you. It came as easy to him as breathing. In that sense, you were also integral to his survival through childhood.

He remembers his mother, back when her face wasn’t covered in grime and she still had a full head of hair, who liked to coo that you and Faust have been drawn together as early as babies. You would crawl towards the space he played, and his tiny fists would cling to you even while doing something as mundane as napping. His mother and yours always paired the two of you together, just from the fact you both were wizards and there would be no solidarity to be had outside of each other. This closeness remained, even as the both of you grew into your heights, and tragedies continued to happen around you. However, you both lived in absolute certainty that life would always remain like paradise as long as you had each other.

It was a pipedream because eventually, Faust has a sister and his father disappears into the night, leaving the scrawny teenage boy to quickly take up the helm of his family name. He changes almost overnight, and spring days tending to chores and sneaking off to play vanish. There is resentment in his violet eyes, even as he gently tends to the sobbing baby in his hands. There is anger burning within him when he watches his mother be laughed at and spat on by chauvinist men as she asks around for laborious work. Life dealt him a cruel hand, and he stays awake to the cries of his sister as he wonders what he did to deserve this.

Your presence also begins to dwindle in his life but to no fault of your own. It’s he who keeps pushing you away, telling you he has work to do or he can’t waste his spare moments on you. He sees your hurt and desperately wishes you would one day give up and find someone better to bless your presence with. You never do, and you still knock at his door every morning even when nobody can open it for you. He knows you don’t like this new version of him, but history keeps you returning to the front step.

Some of the light returns to his eyes when he meets Alec Granvelle, who unbeknownst to Faust, had been watching him heal an injured cat found near a hedge. When he heard a “That’s amazing!” behind him, his heart threatened to jump out of his throat. The stranger, eyes the colour of bluebells and hair akin to the feathers of a dove, moves to sit beside him, and Faust’s fear stills to a stop when the boy asks to see more magic. After he is entertained, he still follows Faust back home and begins aiding in the chores without prompting.

When the pale-haired boy finally leaves, Faust thinks that will be the end of it, until the next morning when his door is carelessly opened and Alec walks in as if he owns the place, ready to help out again. No matter how many sharp remarks Faust throws his way, Alec never flinches, and soon Faust reluctantly lets him occupy a small space in his life. He sometimes feels guilty when he thinks of you, but decides it's for the better. You will always deserve better.

Life shifts courses again when Alec visits one day, with you following closely behind him. Alec proudly announces he made a new friend that he wanted him to meet, ignorant to the facts, and you’ve decidedly ignored the blue-eyed boy to fix Faust a disappointed stare. When Alec leaves later that evening, Faust apologises to you sincerely and slowly things begin to settle into their norm.

With the added addition of Alec, a trio is formed and while life does not stop being a hardship for him, Faust finds that he is coping better now that he has the two of you to look forward to seeing. Despite this, you don’t seem fond of Alec and the situation only worsens with the white-haired boy’s flippant attitude. He didn’t understand, always assuming the two of you would have gotten along. You both were stubborn, chatty and free-spirited. However, he decides to leave it be and have the both of you work it out on your own, but it only takes you a night to childishly confess you were jealous, much to his bewilderment and Alec’s amusement. Since that day, a silent rivalry had been born between you and Alec, fighting over Faust’s affections much to the wizard’s bemusement. Idiots, he thought affectionately.

Faust, now four hundred years old and bitter, wishes he could have told you that you were right in not putting your unconditional trust in Alec Granvelle. The only idiot had been him.

He clutches the wedding band in his hand tightly.

(ii)

Despite his penchant for joking around, Alec was an overthinker. Faust pins this to be the reason for Alec’s ultimate undoing.

Alec was always the one with the concepts, while Faust had all the skills to see it to completion. The proposal of a revolution was their grandest, and final plan.

Faust never liked the leader of the country and the nobles who maintained the system. Alec was in a similar agreement. They needed change, and they knew this as they watched the common people struggle while the wealthy paraded the streets in luxurious clothing, even a piece of fabric worth the yearly income of a single villager. It escalated when Faust’s mother died of a preventable illness, unable to afford the expenses to see a doctor despite Faust almost breaking his back to afford the fees. She had to be buried at a hillside, an unmarked grave because they couldn’t afford a headstone. The memory of holding his little sister’s tiny hand in his as she wailed loud enough to shake the Earth’s core had been burned to his mind, and he never wanted to see her cry like that again.

Alec brings up the idea as the three of you sit at a riverbank, overlooking glimmering water as the sun threatens to set on the horizon. You react first, the glare you send is scathing, but you go ignored as Alec’s eyes fix exclusively on the desolate Faust, who sits with his legs to his chest, numb with grief. There is a long silence, and he feels your hand gently rest on his arm in worry.

“Let’s do it,” He mummers and blue eyes glow under the setting sun. He pays little mind to your visible displeasure. Despite your reluctance, you never left. If Faust could have foreseen the future, he would have told you to run and never look back. A fruitless effort, because even if you knew the road following Faust would lead straight to hell, you would have danced all the way there.

(iii)

With Alec’s charisma and Faust’s leadership, the revolution army had already begun to kick off. They clambered supporters from all corners, humans and wizards alike. Alec’s preaching for unity and a centralised government appealed to the angry but hopeful masses, from which they met another addition to their group. Lennox Ram was a quiet man, a wizard and an ex-miner who has lived a solemn life of struggle and loss, and the revolution’s message was quick to touch his heart. He became a devout member and eventually began a close comradery with him, Alec and you. Unlike with Alec, it was easy for you to become fond of Lennox, and Faust figured you were just drawn to the reserved types. If you weren’t around him, you were with Lennox, and similarly, the dark-haired man seemed fond of you.

The first time Alec made a joke about you and Lennox becoming an item, Faust felt himself go cold.

“Don’t talk about them while they aren’t here,” He lightly scolds as he twirls the stick of chicken leg over the open fire, distractedly watching the meat slowly turn brown just so he doesn’t have to look into his companion’s observant eyes.

“My apologies, dear friend,” He chirps, but there is an underlying tease in his voice, a warning sign for what’s to come. “I shouldn’t say such when I know how you feel for them.”

Faust almost drops his dinner into the fire.

“Are you mad?” He retorts instantly as Alec roars in laughter, amused by his friend’s visible distress.

“Perhaps, but even a loon could see the tension.” He hums before taking a large bite of the meat in his hand. “At least from their end.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I was rooting for the both of you, you know?” Alec jumps to explain, picking up on Faust’s growing irritation. “I suppose we have all been far too busy to spend time one-on-one, but even so you haven’t been paying much attention to them, have you?”

Alec’s words send the violet-eyed wizard to silence. Did he seriously imply that you had romantic feelings for Faust? He’s known you before the both of you could even talk. You’ve always been there, and he’s aware he takes advantage of your loyalty, at the very least he’d be aware of the fact you held such affection for him. He lifts his head when he picks up the bell of your laughter, watching you as you pass by the campground carrying blankets and quilts for the night, Lennox conversing beside you.

His heart seizes in his throat. Oh.

(iv)

“How beautiful!” You rave with your hands pressed to your chest, and this is the happiest Faust has seen you in a while. Nobody blames you for your excitability, the joy of today is infectious, and nothing cheers up the mood quite like a wedding. The announcement of the union between Charlie and Erica came as a surprise, and for the first time instead of strategising for battle, the revolutionary members were able to focus their attention on something more light-hearted and fun. You especially were devoted to the planning of the event, and this is where Faust learns something new about you.

“I would love to get married,” You whined over the rim of your glass, to which Faust nearly splutters into his drink. “It’s always been a dream of mine!”

That’s not true, because Faust remembers you had wanted to be a performer, a farmer, a doctor, and even a merchant at one point. When he says this, you scowl at him with no real ire in your eyes.

“Okay, well, it’s a dream of mine more recently!” You snap as Lennox, surprisingly, is the one who breaks into chuckles. “I’m only getting older. I’m losing out on my chance for young love! Nobody wants you when you are old and weary.”

“Now that’s not true,” Alec laughs nervously, reaching over to gently pat your arm. You must have been in a really good mood to not shove his hand away. “Who knows, the love of your life could be just around the corner.”

Faust pointedly ignores the teasing smile Alec shoots his way.

“He better hurry up. I’m tired of waiting,” You huff, tilting your head as you drown the remains of your drink. You sounded less petulant and more sad. Nobody around the table notices but him.

-

As the cleanup of the small but lavish wedding comes to a close, Faust is the one who walks you back to your quarters. The cicadas chirp in tune with your rambling as you recall the auspicious day, despite the wizard having been beside you the entire time. He chooses not to point this out, a lightness in his chest as he finally has you to himself. For this brief moment, there is no war. There are no battles. There are no casualties. It’s just you and him chattering to each other as if you were starry-eyed kids again.

However, no time in the world would be enough, because you both slow your pace as your tent gets closer and closer. Soon, this peace will end and you both will be back tomorrow to your busy schedules with nothing more than passing glances. Faust bites the bait, blurting out the question that has been haunting him all day.

“Were you serious when you said you wanted to get married?” He asks, violet eyes flickering to your form. You ready yourself for a joke but seem to bite back when you take note of his stony expression.

“Yes,” You admit, but you hold no pride, sounding defeated instead. “It’s… gotten lonely. I just can’t help but think about the rest of my life looking like this.”

All because I choose you and this revolution over my happiness, Faust silently finishes for you. No stronger guilt causes his heart to sink than this one. It feels like his responsibility. A terse silence follows your reply before Faust opens his mouth again.

“If you could marry anybody, who would you choose?”

The question surprises both you and him, your eyes widening while he feels like his heart is beating so loud that everyone within the camp can hear him. You are quick to disguise your shock with a contemplative look, pressing a figure to your chin. After an agonising minute, you carefreely shrug.

“Anybody that would have me, I guess.”

“That’s not good enough,” Faust argues sharply and you frown in confusion. “You don’t marry someone just to settle with them.”

He was ready for you to shoot back with a defensive statement. Instead, your eyes soften and your tense shoulders fall, seemingly touched by his concern. You don’t respond, and Faust figures it’s the end of the conversation and readies to bear you farewell. What you say next almost makes him drop the lantern in his hand.

“... Then I’d choose you,” You whisper under your breath, loud enough for only him and The Great Calamity to hear. The night breeze suddenly feels like ice to his skin, and the fatigue of today withers away instantly. He almost wonders if he’s imagining this.

“What?” He says cleverly, voice hoarse. You look up at him, eyes glassy and hopeful, and when a sheepish smile makes its way to your face, he already knows you are about to laugh away your sudden confession.

He doesn’t give you the chance, stealing away your breath with his lips pressed to yours. He barely registers that he’s dropped the lantern to the ground when you press back against him, desperate. The rest of the world fades into the background until all that remains is you, you, you.

Almost four hundred years later, Faust still can’t say whether that night had been a mistake.

(v)

“What an ugly winter,” You mutter from where your head rests against his shoulder, your hand clutching his arm tightly. He knows you aren’t being literal, as the flakes that litter the sky and the snow-covered hill are unarguably beautiful. It was because of the events that had transpired earlier, Alec’s blood painted into the snow miles away. The man himself rests inside a medic tent, sleeping away the effects of healing magic. Faust had been practically forced out of the way by the army’s nurses after he had found out about his best friend’s missing arm. You decide to accompany him outside as you wait for the news regarding Alec’s health.

Faust doesn’t respond, and he knows you don’t expect him to, sitting in silence as snowflakes dance with the winter wind, the air forbidding. It felt like a sign of the worst of times. Oh, how right would that assumption have been.

“Everyone keeps leaving,” You speak again almost half an hour later. Your voice sounds watery, and your grip tightens. You had just begun recovering from the news of Erica’s death, who left behind an aggrieved widower, and now Alec’s ticking minutes hung over the air like a warning. “Do we even have any time left?”

Faust, again, doesn’t reply. The both of you don’t cry despite the tears that line your lashes. The answer was obvious. The sands of the hourglass do not stop, and the wedding ring around his and your fingers only tightens. Would it have been better to die on the battlefield alone, or knowing you would be leaving behind someone who loves you so?

It begins to storm.

I get that tbh so let me give you this:

Drunk and clingy Chuuya who won't let anyone touch him besides his beloved <3

oh drunk clingy chuuya my roman empire ( while writing this I realised gradually that i was not at all prepared to write this evening. oops. ) (( it's fine the post won't get far I think ))

it's just a port mafia party, some celebratory banquet for completing a rather large tradeoff mission. of course chuuya is the one that cracks open the fanciest bottle. the one with a few too many digits and zeros for any normal person to glance twice at. but he's always been an extravagant guy, and the more expensive it tastes the better quality it is. that's what he thinks, anyway.

he doesn't particularly bother trying to limit the glasses he intakes, why should he? koyo was staying sober, so was hirotsu, enough people that he'd be perfectly fine if anything severe happened. might as well enjoy the night as it lasts.

It's when his vision starts to blur that the first problem arises. his movements are more staggered as he struggles to keep his balance - and he lets out an almost embarassingly high pitched whine of frustration to avoid when koyo reaches out a hand to try and help stabilise him.

chuuyas knees hit the ground, a few heads turn, but its nothing too interesting. the executive had been known for not bring able to handle his alcohol too well, after all. It's when koyo leans down to help him up, and her hand is slapped away - that more people have their eyes on the scene before them.

after all, nobody who'd responded to her with violence was treated kindly in the past.

but she knows different. chuuya wouldn't do that to her - the 15 year old she spent nights trying to teach basic table manners wouldn't hit her with aggression in mind. so it had to be something else.

she let's out a gentle sigh as she calls your cell. if anyone had noticed how chuuya has a painful softspot for you, it was her. if anyone could help with a situation like this, it'd be you.

the conversation doesn't last long. a simple polite request for you to come pick him up, to see if he'll let you pick him up. and when you arrive, he obviously sees you before you spot him, a slurred whiny call of your name cutting through the crowd. one that'd have a sober chuuya breaking brick walls with his skull to forget about it.

you move over to him, listening to his unintelligible blabbers as he clings to your leg. the gentle sobs as he nuzzles into the fabric of the trousers you'd lazily thrown on. the whimpers of "I missed you s'much.." "where were you?.." "my pretty thing.."

it takes a moment to get him onto his feet again, feeling his full weight lean into you as you do so. you call a thanks to koyo, hearing her gentle giggle as you lug your boyfriend out of the party. a response of "good luck with him!" rings past the music on the speakers.

getting him home was an effort. dragging him into bed with his entire damn weight on you should've got you an olympics medal. but seeing his hazy eyes search for you, a blubber of your name as he spots you. and those gloved hands reaching like you're the only thing he'll ever need in life. it's hard to stay mad.

you settle beside him in bed, letting him wrap around you like a koala. chosing to not comment on the smell of his breath as he whispers love to you for the simplest things. he's always been sweet to you like that.

you feel the way his hands still as he drifts to sleep. from idly fiddling with your clothes to completely stone on your side. listening to the way his breathing relaxes. he felt so safe around you. it'd always been you. that's how he liked it.

thank you for the tag !

looks // personality // style // humour // mindset // vibes

serval // atsushi nakajima // nana komatsu “hachi” // cater diamond // chloe collins // shirahoshi

- tagging whoever else wants to do this !

[ 💌 ]- tag game! how your friends describe you using fictional characters, or how you would describe yourself! <3

🍓include: looks, personality, style, humour, mindset + vibes // link to the template if you need it for reference

my best friend always says that I'm literally just yaomomo, i don't see it but i love her so i'll gladly take it :D (I also used to get compared to March a lot, idk)

tagging: @eroxotckv, @seafumes, @twilightclouds, @luvuomi, @princess-peachys, @agaygothicmushroom, @chuusheartattck, @kunimix, @state-of-grac3 + anyone else who wants to join!

The Alchemy vol. II

jason todd x fem!reader

aka the progression of your relationship with the red hood

part one

warnings: depictions of blood and injury, standard gotham violence, jason doesn't know how to have feelings, reader is angry, threats against readers life, implied concern of sexual assault

It might be a matter of deficiency in self-preservation skills, how the sound of your window sliding open does nothing to phase you. You don’t know if that’s your fault or his.

“How’s it goin’ down there?” You mumble, not sitting up from your position on the couch.

He pushes the window shut in his wake, huffing. “I am up here for a reason,” he says factually.

You crane your head back just in time to see him tug the red helmet off his head, setting it down on your side table. He has on his under-mask that covers the lower half of his face. You don’t like that one.

He glances around your apartment as he approaches with slow steps. “Why are all the lights off?”

“Forgot to turn ‘em on,” you tell him simply.

He frowns at you, confusion evident.

You pay him no mind though, taking an exaggerated breath and pushing yourself up off the couch before trotting over to the kitchen. You open the fridge and scrummage for a water bottle. Jason thinks it’s odd how long it takes you to find one in your own fridge. 

Once it's (eventually) in your hands, you chug down several gulps and toss the half empty bottle towards the counter where it lands with a sloppy thump and rolls.

When you return, he’s leant against the armrest of your chair, watching you. You stop in the middle of the room, a contemplating stare on the floor. He tilts his head at you, wondering what you could possibly be thinking so hard about.

You take a deep breath before plopping down to lay on the carpet all in one go. 

He peers down at you, barely trying to hide his amusement. “You’re drunk.”

You shake your head, “I’m not sober.”

“That’s—yeah.” He stands all the way, coming to lay down on the floor next to you, using significantly more coordination than you had.

He lays in between you and the couch, though it doesn’t seem you’d left him much room. If he minds, it doesn’t show. “What’d you do?”

“I jus’ went out with my friend,” you tell him, closing your eyes. “She moves pretty fast..”

It occurs to him that you might be laying on the ground because you got nauseous. He turns to look at you, scanning you over. “You good?”

“I feel great,” you keen. “I feel…swooshy.”

He gives you a bemused look. “Dizzy?”

You shake your head with a great deal of consideration on your face, “No, not even dizzy, just…swoosh.” You throw out a hand with a theatrical flick.

“Mhm.”

You pucker your lips to the side. “You come here a lot,” you comment, clearly working up to some greater observation.

“You’re in my neighborhood,” he shrugs. 

Your head tilts, “You live here?”

He pauses before correcting himself, “My territory.”

You hum, “Still. There has to be other people around here you know. ‘Specially if you’re passing out on balconies on the reg.”

He frowns, “I try not to make a habit out of it.”

You continue on, “Why do you always go to my apartment? There’s—”

“I don’t always come to your apartment—”

You deadpan, “You’re here like three nights a week. And I don’t even help you that much anymore, you’ve used up my whole first aid kit.”

You can literally feel the eyeroll like you have a sixth sense for it. “That thing wasn’t exactly impressive to start with..”

“Did enough for you, didn’t it? Anyways, my point is: I think you like me,” you say with a nod.

That has him going absolutely rigid, “What?”

“I’ve heard you’re an asshole.”

“What?”

You nod, “Like, people that run into you. They say you’re kind of a dick. You help ‘em ‘n everything, but also while being a dick. Sometimes.”

“Okay...”

“But you’re nice to me. Sort of,” you squint. “I think you like me.”

He hasn’t felt this straggled in a conversation in a while. “I—well I’m not here because you’re a world-class medic.”

You scoff, “There’s no world-class medics..” But then your tone switches up, into something lighter. “We’re friends aren’t we? I think we’re friends.” 

He shakes his head, staring up blankly. “Sure, we’re friends.”

“We’re friends and you like me,” you reiterate.

He really wishes you’d stop saying that. “Okay.”

“I like you too. Even though you’re kinda sketchy.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that.

You hum into the silence, looking up at the ceiling. “J…James, Jack, John…”

He smiles, gaze dancing across the egg-whitened popcorn texture of the ceiling. “I’m not going to tell you.”

You ignore him, “Jake, Jaden, Jason, Josh, Joe, Jesse…”

You’re about three shots too drunk to notice the way he briefly stiffens. 

“Juuhhh…” you lull your head to the side, the letter fading out slowly as you look into his eyes. If you focus, you think you can make out a few of those little specks of green again.

He seems to already be running his own study on your irises, his eyes now softer than you can remember seeing them before. 

His next words are whispered, the sounds barely escaping. “You’re pretty.”

What?

“What?”

“What?” He seems taken aback by his own words, like he also wasn’t expecting them to climb out of his mouth.

You can literally feel sobriety seeping back into your blood. “I’m…pretty?”

He blinks a few times, apparently trying hard to decide on what position he’s going to take here. “I—well…yeah.”

You blink once, relaxing. “I think…I think you’re pretty too.”

“What?”

“We can’t do this again.”

He breaks eye contact, looking almost dejected.

You turn your head down to where his hand thrums against the carpet. “I mean, I know I haven’t seen your whole face in one go, but I see the top half now and the bottom before, so I…maybe I shouldn’t be saying this.” You reset with a shallow breath, “I don’t know what your whole face looks like.”

“That was,” he blinks, eyebrows raised. “Fascinating.”

“Thanks,” you say flatly. You close your eyes again, though this time you remain facing him.

He feels a slight pang of guilt for the way he continues to ogle at you, eyes tracing over every detail of your face. But that ounce of guilt does nothing to outweigh the reward of gazing upon you. He didn’t mean to say it but he definitely meant it: you’re really fucking pretty.

Your eyelashes flutter for a moment before stilling, a display of peace washing over your features. It’s when your breathing steadies over and your face relaxes completely is when he starts to feel like a creep. It takes a lot of strength for him to force his eyes shut, depriving himself of the view.

And he doesn’t do it on purpose, but after a few moments his inhales and exhales take to the same rhythm of yours. The thin layer of the rug isn’t doing much to protect his back from the hardwood below and he’s pretty confident later he’ll curse himself for lying like this for so long. 

But as he lays, he doesn’t find himself focused on the dark red-gray of his eyelids like usual, so much as the warmth from the proximity of your bodies. He’s usually so concentrated on whatever the hell is going on in his head and it prevents him from really truly resting, but now, the only thing taking up his attention is physical sensations.

He feels this warmth in his heart that if he didn’t know any better, he’d call burning. His hands feel numb and he can distinctly feel the beat of his own heart in his chest, thrumming away.

He presses his lips to your forehead with a feather light touch, slow to pull away. He doesn’t make it all the way back to his original position before his movement lulls and his body relaxes again, joining you gladly in unconsciousness.

Gotham City has a particular gift for inconveniencing you at the worst possible moment and doing it multiple times a week.

Tonight's round of problems resulted in an entire city district getting shut down, the district which is regrettably right between your job and your apartment.

So on top of having to hole up into your work for two hours longer than you were supposed to, it took you an extra 45 minutes getting home while trying to maneuver around every other person in the same situation. And just to cement the quality of this night, the door to your apartment building slams nice and hard against your side and the light in the hallway is out.

You groan when you fail to get your key the lock the right way for the third time, lodging it in a final time and shoving the door open. You flick on the kitchen light and dump your bag onto the counter, kicking the door shut behind you.

You take a deep breath, eyes closed, as you lean your head back against the wall. The second you crack your eyes open again, a pile of red mass on the floor behind your couch catches your attention and startles some energy right back into your chest.

“Oh, shit,” you scurry over towards the window, crumbling down onto your knees in front of him. Your eyes dart across the red helmet, trying to makeout any signs of consciousness. “Hood?” 

There’s no response from him, no movement. You tug his helmet off, finding him eyes-closed with blood running down the side of his head. You push a hand down on his chest armor, shaking him. “J? J!”

His eyes flutter open slowly under his domino mask, adjusting to the light. With the disorientation on his face he looks younger, more his age. His hair is tousled up and you can make out some distinct curls in it when it's undone like this. 

He grimaces, gloved hand coming up to his head. He looks wearily at the blood on his fingers, before plopping his hand back down and blinking up at you. “Hey..”

You sit back on your heels with a sigh, “What the fuck?”

He makes a strained effort to sit up on his own so you try to heave him up by his forearm. As he comes up all the way you glance behind his back at a bag crumpled discarded on the floor. You can barely see some sort of fabric poking out the top. “What is that?”

“Huh?” He throws back a tired glance, “Oh. They're..curtains.”

“Explain.”

He looks at you blankly, “You don’t have any curtains.”

You blink. “Explain.”

“It’s dangerous for people to just be able to look in and see you. So. Curtains.” For a guy who reads Dostoevsky, he’s not much of a wordsmith. Though that could be the concussion. 

You reach around him and pull some of the fabric out of the bag, inspecting the linen. They match the theme of your living room.

You set it back down, blinking. “Thanks.”

He only gives a half-hearted shrug.

You look back at him, “How bad is the…?” You gesture to the side of your head.

He feels at the blood again, “It’s mostly just a cut. Shoulda stopped bleeding by now.”

You nod, “I’ll, uh—I’ll clean it up.”

He looks at you, shaking his head. “You don’t need to. Your kit’s almost empty anyways.”

“I restocked it,” you tell him, rising to stand. He lets you go retrieve your aid box without protest, listening blankly to the faucet run in the bathroom while you’re gone.

You return momentarily, damp rag in one hand, kit in the other. “Here, sit on the couch,” you tell him, nodding him up. 

He lugs himself up off the hardwood and onto the cushion with a groan. You position yourself on the cushion next to him, leaning over to inspect the cut. You brush through his hair as gently as you can, though you have to suspect he wouldn’t have minded either way—if only based on the pain threshold you know him to have.

As much as you are completely in his space, you’re having trouble getting all the access you need to fix him up right. You turn and adjust your angle this way and that but none of it works. 

You huff, sitting back. “I can’t..”

He nods his permission at you without delay, and you shift yourself over to sit fully on his lap, straddling him on the sofa. You put your focus into cleaning his wound, but you have to notice how deep he’s breathing and how he’s seemingly trying very hard to avoid eye contact. You’re sure your own breath is uneven and telling, and frankly you’re kind of hoping he has a concussion just so he might not notice it.

An unexpected sting has him flinching and grabbing your hips on instinct, a certain heaviness lingering in the air after contact. His hand tenses and he’s about to remove them from you completely when you manage to catch his gaze, and the few moments of silent eye contact are enough to convince him to stay. He forces his hands to relax against your waist, his fix on your face wavering before fizzling away completely.

You go back to dabbing at the blood and it’s clear that his thoughts get the better of him quickly. “You should move.”

“But then where would you go?”

He makes a rumbling noise from the back of his throat at that, saying nothing more.

You continue to wipe away at the blood until you can’t see it anymore, beyond the slice of the cut. You misjudge your own spatial awareness as you pull back from him, and the tips of your noses graze. Though the contact surprises you, you don’t move away from it. You become very acutely aware of his touch on your waist, how warm it feels atop your shirt. 

His head leans forward just barely before stopping. He retreats slightly and his body ultimately decides to come closer. He doesn’t stop until his lips, slightly parted, skim across yours.

Your breath catches as he looms nearer, lips touching against yours softly. He tests that pressure out for a moment, before moving to kissing you with more intent. You kiss him back, and though there’s an increasing resolve on both of your parts, the connection itself remains gentle, reposeful.

The last slight movement of his lips gradually slips away as he rests his forehead against yours.

A long beat passes before he’s tightening his grip on your waist and pulling you up to stand. You aren’t given the time to process the shift as he’s moving straight past you, head down. He pauses only when he gets to the window, back turned to you.

“Sorry—I’m…” his shoulders drop, “Sorry.” 

He climbs out and scales the fire escape in total silence until he’s gone completely.

You stand frozen in position, staring at the window with incredulity burning across your face.

What the fuck?

Two weeks pass of voided midnight visits. 

You’re not sure what to make of that. He kissed you, not the other way around. You couldn’t possibly have done something to upset him or throw him off since he’s the only one who did anything. All in all, it’s a little disappointing.

There had been tension there and it wasn’t shocking for you to learn that he wanted to kiss you. It was a bit of a surprise for him to actually do it, though not a bad one. But you were thrown for a grand fucking loop when he immediately bailed out.

Maybe you can’t read him as well as you think because you’d expected him to at least say something about it. It was a borderline given that he would come back and there would be a bonus surplus of tension but then there would be a resolution. Because he wouldn’t kiss you and then never come back. Nobody would do that, it doesn’t make sense.

It’s a little more than embarrassing to admit that you’ve been purposefully staying home in the hope that he’ll drop in. After fifteen nights of disappointment, you decided to put your focus elsewhere.

You’d asked a friend of yours to go out with you tonight, and never one to decline a night out, she agreed happily. 

The bell above the door jingles as you crack it open, peaking your head in. You find Chloe quickly, stood behind the bar with bottles in hand.

“Hey gorgeous,” she smiles at you, waving you in.

You step in, air conditioning hitting you hard. The sparkles on her cocktail dress catch your eye as she turns this way and that, trying to find the right spot for the whiskey. 

Chloe hums to herself as she searches, honestly taking a bit longer than she should. “You been cool?”

You nod, “Yeah, just—you know…” She doesn’t. Your affiliation with the Red Hood is something you’ve kept to yourself, though you don’t know why. It would be safer, more responsible to let someone else know about these drop-ins, but something about it feels personal. A strange feeling to tack onto it, you think. A regrettable one, at least. 

You take a deep breath, “You’ve been busy. Jessie call out again?”

She laughs dryly, “Oh yeah, of course. But it's fine, I love staying over an hour after close.” She sighs, “I’m almost done anyway.”

You circle around the bar, looking over the several yet-to-be-sorted bottles. “You need help?”

“No, there’s—” she cuts herself off as she looks over at the front door, face dropping. “Oh, shit. Duck.”

“Wha—” she yanks you down to the floor to crouch awkwardly behind the counter.

You hear the bell ring as the door swings open, followed by several pairs of footsteps and low voices.

“—Christ, if she forgets to lock the door one more fucking time I’m gonna kill her.”

You look at Chloe through furrowed eyebrows, her grip on you still tight. She shakes her head and puts a finger to her lips.

A second man mutters something you can’t make out.

The first voice continues, “Go around back and lug the crates in, we gotta start packing that shit.” 

Another voice, “The crates? They’re not here..”

There’s a heavy beat before the first voice speaks, “What the fuck do you mean they’re not here? She needs them now.”

“Well…the first shipments will be in later this week. The next batch’ll take until the end of the month, probably.”

A sigh, “Dumbass…”

The first voice huffs, “The end of the month? Are you fucking kidding me? I told you to get that shit ready weeks ago and you’ve got it coming in at the end of the month?” 

“I’ll…I’ll see what I can do to get it sooner.”

“Yeah, you do that,” he grumbles. “Motherfucker. I need a drink. Get a bottle of something.”

One of the men rounds the counter, tracks falling short at the sight of you and Chloe huddled against the counter.

“What the fuck?”

You and Chloe are wide-eyed and frozen as he sneers down at you. Still, he looks like he’s trying to be tougher than he is, compensating for size that he does not have, with an attitude that doesn’t match up with the way he sped around the counter to get the other man a drink.

Another guy comes around and you quickly recognize him as the man in charge. He frowns at Chloe, sighing, “You’re not supposed to be here still, Chloe.”

She shifts her weight, “I was just…finishing inventory…”

The bossman’s eyes move to you, laced with nothing but inconvenience. “Oh and you brought a friend. Great.” 

“Mr. Murray, we were just ab—”

He’s quick to cut her off with a hand, “Chloe. Stop talking.”

Her face falls flat and her words die off without hesitation.

“Get up.”

She’s pushing herself off the ground instantly while you’re still on the floor catching up with what the hell’s going on. As she moves out from behind the bar, you scurry to follow her. Your arm bumps against hers as you fiddle with the seams at the bottom of your outfit.

You dressed to go out with your friend on a Friday night, not to meet three mobsters in a closed bar with no witnesses. That’s to say, you’re feeling a little exposed.

You stand in the center of the bar, the three men looking various degrees of annoyed looks across their faces. Though the oldest looking of the bunch has something else in his eyes as he looks you up and down, in no rush to hide his engrossment in your bare legs.

“How old are you, honey?” Even without the blatant ogling, that’s never a good question to hear from a fifty year old man.

Your eyes avert to the floor, lips pursing. 

“Hey, don’t be rude. I asked you a question.” He nudges your chin up a bit rougher than necessary, forcing you to look him in the eyes. 

Somehow, you feel like there’s no answer here that would help you. 

The man at the bar serves as an unexpected saving grace of sorts, muttering, “We don’t have time for this.”

Your pursuer shakes his head, looking you over in a way that makes you feel very small. “I think we got plenty of time.”

“I disagree.”

All heads whip to the doorway where the Red Hood leans against the frame, checking his phone. A never invited but always welcome addition to the party. At least for you.

The man in front of you instantly steps back, putting some distance between the two of you. Hands across the room instinctively fly to holsters only to begrudgingly relax at their sides, probably figuring drawing on Red Hood isn’t in their best interest. Though your focus lies on the bell above his head that didn’t make a peep whenever he came in.

Hood shuts his phone off and puts it away with a quiet sigh before glancing up at the tension-filled room. He literally double takes when his helmet scans past you. You somehow feel more in trouble now than you did two minutes ago. 

“Hood..” the bossman says measuredly. “What are you doing here?”

He stares at you for a second longer before tearing his gaze away. “Just thought I’d check up on you, Murray. Make sure you’re not causing trouble in light of our agreement.” He makes a point of looking back at you and Chloe at that last part before looking to Murray expectantly.

He waves that off easily, “This is nothing. Just two late-shift employees.”

Hood takes a piqued breath. “You picked a bad time to lie to me,” he says flatly.

Murray shakes his head, “Look, we’re just cleaning up a mess. No harm.”

“Really?”

“This clean up benefits you too, they heard too much. The one girl—Chloe, get out. She’s fine, she’s not talking.”

Chloe wastes no time exiting hastily. Bye Chloe.

He continues, “We only need to kill one of them.” He says it like this is an ideal compromise. You’re feeling differently.

Hood huffs, pulling out a gun from his holster. “I’m thinking it’s implied that killing innocent people is a form of causing trouble. Which is in direct violation of our agreement.” He cocks the gun, pointing it at Murray’s head.

Murray steps back dramatically, throwing his hands up. “Hey, an alliance is an alliance!”

Hood wavers his head to the side, “Alliance is a strong word. Temporary tolerance maybe…”

The short man pipes up, “Okay, calm down, calm down. Nobody needs to get killed. We can cooperate.”

“That’s the spirit,” Hood quips, lowering his gun.

The older one shakes his head, “We don’t have anything on her, she’ll talk.”

The short man demurs, “We don’t know that—”

“She saw too much, we can’t have her walking around with that information,” Murray says, moving towards you. 

Hood puts his hands up like some kind of mediator, “Nobody’s killing anybody.”

Murray scoffs, “You were gonna kill me!”

Hood's hands drop as he stands in full, “And I still might!”

Boldly, Murray steps up to him.

But Hood looks down at him, easily a full head taller than him and at least twice his muscle mass. “Let's weigh out your odds here, Murray. Is that a fight you’re winning?”

The look on Murray’s face tells you it’s not and he struggles to maintain this chest to chest confrontation.

It only takes him a moment of wavering to decide to back off, though he sure as hell doesn’t look happy about it. 

Hood pushes past him, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you towards him. 

Murray splutters, watching you go. “You can’t—I-I know people.”

“I am people,” Hood grumbles, steering you towards the door.

Though you can be sure they have them, no one voices any objections aa he pulls you outside.

His stride doesn’t even falter as he marches you down the sidewalk in the direction of your apartment. Aside from the sound of the breeze wisping past your ears, it’s silent between you.

After two blocks you get the strong impression that this muted exchange of energy is just going to keep on, so you force yourself to find something to rattle off about. “That uh, that seems like something he’s gonna be mad about.”

He huffs, “Yeah, well he can get over it or die so I guess it’s a personal choice.”

You frown at his tone, “What’s your problem?”

That was, apparently, the wrong thing to say as his head snaps in your direction. “Why the hell are you out here?”

His sharp attitude has you stumbling a bit. “Why are you out here? You have a concussion.”

“I don’t have a concussion,” he grumbles. “And I just saved your life so maybe complaining about it isn’t your best move right now.”

You try to stop and face him but he doesn’t let you, keeping you moving along with him. “That’s what we’re doing? Really?” 

Are these about the social skills that you had expected from him based on your first meeting? Yeah. But that first meeting was months ago. He’s proven again and again that he has half a brain and the ability to read a room so you’re really not fucking sure what the hell his problem is. He won’t acknowledge that he kissed you and all but jumped out your living room window, but he will snap at you for asking about his concussion that there’s no way he doesn’t have. Especially if he’s acting like this. 

He ignores your comment, blatantly at that. “Did they say anything about a drug shipment?”

This is what we’re talking about? Sure. Fine. At least you’re talking. 

You open your mouth briefly before closing it again, eyes narrowed. “I don’t know.”

He tries again, “What about Nocturna? Did you hear that name?”

“I…I don’t know.” You weren’t exactly taking notes behind the bar counter. 

His head drops down heavily, “Okay, I think I’m seeing a trend for how this conversation’s gonna go...”

You gawk at him, astonished that he thinks it’s you who’s handling this discussion poorly. “You cannot be serious right now.”

He sighs, slowing as you approach the steps to your building, “Just—why’d they let Chloe go?”

You blink a few times, “I mean, she has a drug problem…” You guess that might be where she’s getting them from…

He nods solemnly, “Okay.”

You huff, turning to walk up the steps, shoulders heavy. You hope he’ll come up with you and maybe, just maybe, address the elephant in the room. 

“Are you—” you turn around to face him again, met with nothing but vacant air. 

A deep, tense, breath from you before calling out, “Really?”

One month. One month. And he decides to show up tonight like it’s no time lost. But there was some fucking time lost.

Count ‘em up, that’s one period, two paychecks, three grocery trips, four laundry days, and thirteen showers. And that stupid fucking vigilante ransacked your head during every single one.

You went through the five stages of grief for this bizarre, undefinable relationship and then discovered about six more while you were at it. 

So when you walk out from the bathroom, you’re a little pissed to see him sitting there on your living room floor, helping himself to a glass of water. 

Maybe it’s his domino mask that gives his expression the illusion of neutrality. Or maybe he really has no idea how insane it is that he would occupy your apartment like this after skipping out on you for an entire lunar cycle.

He leans against your armchair, inspecting a scratch on his lower arm. You enter silently, watching him the whole time as you make your way over to the far end of the couch.

He doesn’t look up at you though, not until after a minute or two of silence. 

“You got any bandages left?” he asks, throwing a glance over his shoulder. 

You stare at him incredulously. 

After ten seconds with no response from you, he turns around fully, frowning. “What?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I—” he squints, eyes flickering across your face. “No?”

You continue to gawk at him, not trying for any words.

He stares back, eyes wide. “I don’t know what you want me to say...”

You tear your gaze from him, preferring to stare at the wall. “You know what, I think I know what your problem is.”

He gives a laugh with little life to it. “I only have one?”

You bite down on your lip, “You only have one I’m ready to kill you over.”

He sits with that for a minute. A long minute, before asking softly, “What is it?”

You shake your head, glaring at an unoccupied nail in the wall. “That you’re an idiot,” you mutter. You start to walk away  before turning around again after a few steps. “Where the hell have you been?”

He blinks, “Uh, there’s just been a lot of—”

“Bullshit.”

He’s about to argue his point, but quickly decides to concede, “Yeah.” He takes a deep breath, sitting back. “I…wasn’t prepared for this conversation,” he says carefully.

You scoff with a nod, “Yeah, neither was I, but it’s happening. I m—what did you think was going to happen here? I—you kissed me, you kissed me!”

“No I—” he huffs, “I shouldn’t have done that, okay?”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

He sighs, throwing his hands up at his sides. “What do you want me to say?”

You shrug without genuinity, “Anything that could possibly rationalize that sequence of decisions. You kiss me, run away, ghost me for a fucking month, and then show up again like nothing happened.”

He shuts his eyes, shaking his head. “I know, I know, I’m sorry!”

“I’m not asking you to be sorry, I’m asking you to pick a fucking lane and stick to it!”

He falls silent at that, eyes on the floor. It’s quiet for long enough that you start to think he’ll accept the silence as his cue to leave. You’re not sure if you want him to or not.

You take a deep breath, eyes closed. “I need you to start being straight with me. Now.”

He doesn’t look up, taking his time to find his words. “I am sorry,” he tells you. “I…I’m not good at this. I’m not good with words so I shouldn’t have fucking done it.”

Honestly you weren’t expecting him to actually come up with a reason, so you’re not prepared to weigh out whether or not it’s a good one.

“I like you...a lot. And I didn’t know—I don’t know—what to do about it so I kissed you and I didn’t think it through, and…I guess I panicked.”

That’s more than enough for you to warrant looking back over at him. It doesn’t take long for your gaze to start shifting around awkwardly while you scratch at your neck. “I would’ve taken you for more of a fight over flight kinda guy.”

He nods to himself. “Jus’ depends..” he says quietly.

And then it seems neither of you have anything else to say. You’ve run out of angry words to spit and he’s run out of apologies and excuses. But neither of you feel like you’re done.

The quiet lingers on for a painful amount of time. Your annoyance dissipates into something else, something more uncomfortable, but you couldn’t find a name for it. It’s got your thoughts going faster though and your chest feeling more hollow. Maybe not hollow…maybe just softer. 

He cuts through your thoughts before you can, “Are you mad that I kissed you?”

You shake your head, “No. I’m mad about what happened after.” You’re just mad about what happened after. Should’ve said just.

He thinks about that for a moment. 

“I can be honest with you,” he tells you. The way he says it, it’s somewhere between a peace offering and an assurance to himself.

You look at him again. He reads oddly vulnerable for a man his size with his reputation. You believe him. 

He goes on, “I trust you, you know? I want you to trust me too, if you can.”

You blink a few times, processing. “I…I don’t know anything about you.”

He nods, an anxious aura radiating around him. He leaves you hanging for longer than a few moments, getting you convinced that the conversation is just going to end there.

It doesn’t though, and after a few minutes, he sits up and reaches up to his mask.

It has you sitting up too, like he just pulled out a gun. Your hands fly up instinctually, as though this is completely uncalled for, as if he’s crazy for doing it.

He pauses his movements for a moment, making eye contact with you. His eyes reaffirm his words. He trusts you and he wants you to trust him.

You allow your hands to relax onto your lap and he continues on, taking his mask off.

You’re not revealed to much more of his face than you’d already seen before, but entirely in view like this, he’s a sight. You try not to stare but there’s little reward to removing him from your sight whereas the alternative…

All together like this you can see how his features balance his face out so nicely and make for a warm countenance, if not rough.

He takes a deep breath, setting his mask to the side. “My name is J…” he says with assurance. “Todd,” he tacks on.

You don’t mean to, really, but you’re sure the frown on your face is evident as puzzle pieces start forming and connecting in your mind. 

J…Todd…J…Jay…Todd…Jason…Todd…

Your mouth hangs open, “You’re Jason Todd. You’re de—” Well a couple things are starting to add up. “How are you…how are you not—”

He waves that away, tiredly. “It's a long story. Not particularly happy, either.”

Autopsy scar. Fuck. 

“I mean, I’ll…” he hesitates, “I’ll tell you if you want me to.”

He says it, but discomfort is painted across his face. You’re quick to shake your head, “It’s okay.”

He nods, likely relieved.

You stand up from your seat, crossing the room to sit down next to him. You’d half-expected him to tense up, but his body relaxes when you lean back against the chair.

You close your eyes before asking, “Who’s Nocturna?”

“She’s just this woman that’s been causing trouble for us.”

You don’t say anything and he continues on, shaking his head. “She’s more annoying than anything.”

You open your eyes, looking over. “Yeah?”

He shrugs, “Just trying to take over the underworld, the usual stuff. Nothing you need to worry about.”

You give a laugh that’s barely more than an exhale, relaxing your body completely..

There’s the slightest lull in activity before he sets his hand down on the floor, right on top of yours. The sounds of your breathing are the only thing that fill the room for a few minutes, save for the occasional car horn.

He glances at the clock on the wall, nearing midnight. “I have to go...” He says reluctantly.

You try not to let the disappointment show through your body language. “Go where?”

He pauses before telling you,  “A cemetery.”

You nod vacantly, “Oh. Just for fun, or…?”

He gives a dry laugh, “Just meeting an associate. They’re a bit dramatic, so.”

“Yeah, I’d say.”

“I’ll come back—I’m going to come back,” he mutters against your hairline.

You don’t respond, but you both know he’s good for his promise.

He looks around your apartment for a second before seemingly getting an idea. He pushes himself up off the ground and heads for your kitchen. You watch as he rips a sticky note off the deck on your fridge and scribbles something down on it. 

He returns to you, kneeling down and pushing the square of paper into your hand. “Here,” he says, looking you in the eye. “If you need anything. Anything.”

You engulf the note in your palm, nodding sincerely. His eyes flicker across your face, like he’s thinking about something. He hesitates for a moment, turning towards you, away from you, then towards you again. He holds the back of your head tenderly before pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead.

You look at each other up close for a second with nothing short of starry eyes before he turns away and ducks out the window.

You open up your palm and look down at the paper, at the ten digits scrawled across it.

Huh.

Must be official. 

🧨 reblog or die (this is a threat) 🧨

i'll keep every promise (if it's a promise with you) | oikawa tooru x reader

oikawa tooru has a bad habit of breaking promises and running from his first love. or: the four times oikawa breaks his promises and the one time he keeps one

( a / n ) - oh my god this is my magnum opus... my baby.. its a little bit of angst and a little bit of fluff and a little slice of life. u go through ages 6 to 28 LMFAO. iwaizumi + you + oikawa were such a fun trio to write for and i hope u guys enjoy !!

gn! reader | 2k words | happy birthday OIKAWA

Oikawa Tooru has a guilty conscience and a bad habit of breaking his promises. 

For every promise made and every promise broken, Tooru repents: 200 yen slid in a saisen-bako, a ninety degree bow, two wishes at a shrine. An offering to counter every promise he breaks, ample water to wash away his sins, and apologies written on wood.

 ( Iwaizumi has made the grand suggestion of: Maybe not breaking your promises? on several occasions, but Tooru can’t help it. ) 

He’s broken four promises and made eight wishes so far: four on blue Tanzaku and four atop Ema boards, followed with a prayer and an offering if the promise broken was particularly heinous or particularly his fault. 

He breaks his first promise at six years old– one made with you and Iwaizumi when the three of you were four and freshly neighbors. It was Tooru’s birthday, and he had promised this: 

I swear that I will take us all to the Ryokan before I turn six.

It’s a small promise: one that neither you nor Hajime had expected him to follow through with. But Tooru believed it, and Tooru had tried. He takes every single chore and odd job in the Oikawa household, scraping together a two-year-old Ryokan trust fund with mismatched coins and crumpled bills. He saves his allowances and puts everything in a glass jar next to his bed, and dreams.

Two Julys pass. Oikawa blows out four candles and then five, the jar gets bigger, you start Elementary school, and you and Hajime forget about the Ryokan. And then, on the third July, when Tooru turns six, you and Iwaizumi find Tooru mumbling about a broken promise— courtesy of his failure to take the three of you on an all inclusive trip to that Snow Monkey Ryokan that Iwaizumi wanted to go to. 

So he apologizes through prayers at a shrine and two wishes under a red Torii gate. It’s a thirty five stair climb to the neighborhood shrine: Hajime and Tooru race up and you come last, but the view is gorgeous and Tooru feels considerably less guilty.

It is 100 yen for each wish on a colored paper strip. Hajime says they’re called Tanzaku. Hajime drops one coin, Tooru drops four, you drop two. Seven thunks, four wishes. 

Tooru gets the honor of tying your tanzaku on bamboo branches as the tallest of your trio, and with it, the honor of reading your wishes.

Iwaizumi’s wish is messy and scrawled on bright red— Tooru tells him to Please work on your handwriting, but it’s legible and all well wishes for volleyball and you and Oikawa and cicadas.

Tooru’s got two wishes— a cyan one and a turquoise one, but he only lets you and Hajime read the cyan one. His cyan one is a little neater than Iwaizumi’s and reads:

Sorry I couldn’t take us to the Monkey Ryokan. 

He hangs the red one on his tippy-toes. Cyan next. Hajime cheers a little when Tooru hangs turquoise next to your pink one, and then asks: 

“Whaddya need two wishes for anyways?” 

He shrugs. 

“Guilty conscience, maybe?”

You’re thirteen when Tooru promises that he is going to ask you out in two years. Tooru is not allowed to date until he’s in high school, so he tells you under a blanket of stars that when the two of you are a little older, he will ask you out properly and maybe take you on a date. 

He walks you to school every morning. Hajime comes too, but the pink skies before the sun rises are for you and Tooru. Moments before you make it to Iwaizumi’s block are moments that Tooru gives you his scarf, and then his gloves, and when the wind bites at your cheeks too hard his jacket is draped over your shoulders. On rainy days, Tooru holds the umbrella and laughs as your fingers brush and your cheeks flush. Some mornings he brings you toast: and tells you in hushed whispers to eat it before Iwa-Chan sees. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi walk you home after cram school and volleyball practice. Hajime’s house is first— so Iwaizumi bows first, heads back inside first, waves goodnight first. When the door closes and the light turns on, the black sky and twinkling stars are for you and Tooru. He always says Good Night saccharine sweet with a smile like the sun that makes you feel like you really can’t wait to turn fifteen. 

Oikawa blows out fourteen candles. The three of you graduate in blue and walk home like usual. Summer passes, another July goes by, Oikawa blows out fifteen candles, and high school starts.

You learn several things in your first year at high school: you really like the student council, Hajime is actually pretty smart, and Tooru is afraid of commitment. 

Tooru is popular: he is athletic and tall and the Volleyball Club’s golden first year. He smiles at the girls in his class, he slings arms around their shoulders, he winks when he passes by the student council room, and he preens a little and shines a lot.

Oikawa is fifteen when he goes on his first date with a girl from another school: and when he tells you and Iwaizumi after he gets home, he plays dumb as Hajime gives him a look and takes you home, overhearing Iwaizumi’s apologies and your crestfallen voice as you say something about a promise.

Oikawa’s chest hurts that night so he walks to the shrine with 200 yen in his pocket and a sorry scrawled on two pieces of colored Tanzaku. 

Oikawa turns sixteen and goes to the shrine again. 

This time, it’s a broken promise with a girl in his class. She was popular– she smelled like cotton candy and reminded Tooru of strawberries and daisies, so when she asked Tooru out, he had said Sure, and he had smiled like she was the sun. 

But he’s a bad boyfriend– a terrible boyfriend– because he’s only there when it’s convenient and he ditches her for volleyball practice and maybe sometimes he catches himself thinking about a certain childhood friend when she holds his hand and buys him milk bread at lunch. 

She was sweet and she was terribly pretty, but he doesn’t feel anything when she kisses him or when she rests her head on his shoulder.

Iwaizumi asks him what he’s running from after practice one day. Tooru knows Iwaizumi is asking why he is running from you. 

Tooru is a little scared of how you make him feel too much. Oikawa likes being in control and Oikawa likes stability, so when he realizes that his heart thumps erratically whenever you’re around and he finds himself all consumed with thoughts of you and a burning desire to please you; he rejects and refrains. And runs.

His girlfriend dumps him after a few months. Tooru says sorry, removes her phone contact, and faintly remembers a promise he made with her four weeks ago. 

I swear I’m not in love with someone else. 

from: tooru (23:20) shrine time!!! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

from: hajime (23:21) You broke another promise?? Ur a piece of shit lol

from: tooru (23:22) iwaaa chan U￣ｰ￣U  ur so mean !

from: you (23:24) bro . don’t tell me it was about ur ex ur a manwhore !!!!

from: hajime (23:25) Average Shittykawa moment

from: tooru (23:25) i can’t help it !! (✿ ♥‿♥)  everyone wants a piece of me !!! ill pick u guys up and we’ll go to the shrine and ramen after plsss ☆

from: hajime (23:26) Ur treat?

from: tooru (23:27) iwa-chan’s treat !! i’m going through a nasty breakup, remember ? \_( ◉ 3 ◉ )_/¯

from: you (23:29) hajime we know his address we can burn his room down

from: tooru (23:30) OK FINE my treat! it’s on me!!! everyone say thank you tooru !!!

from: hajime (23:31) thank you tooooruuu chan (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

tooru and y/n reacted with: Scared !

from: tooru (23:32) um please don’t do that ever again

Oikawa’s fourth promise is one to himself and one to Seijoh. 

We will make it to Nationals. 

He doesn’t leave his room for a week when he breaks it. He’s inconsolable. He says he’s sick: he’s got a bad fever, it’s contagious, he’s bedridden, he’s fine. But the lights are never on in his room, his curtains are always drawn, and you know that Tooru devoted everything for a chance and a dream and a volleyball. 

He comes to you first. He’s standing in your doorway and there are bags under his eyes and he says, Hi, and then, I’m fine. He tries for a smile— and then you give him a look, and suddenly he’s in your arms and sobbing. 

He cries for two hours. Tooru ugly cries– his chest racks when he sobs and his arms are tight around you and digging into your back. Oikawa Tooru is not weak: but he is not a prodigy and he is not a genius and maybe he was destined to fall to those born talented. 

He falls asleep in your bed with his head in your lap and your hands in his hair, but his eyebrows are furrowed and he’s shifting a lot and he’s probably having a nightmare. You call Hajime before gently shaking Tooru awake. 

He blinks up at you— all puffy eyes and tousled hair and swollen cheeks, but he sees you and he softens.

“Wanna go to the shrine?”

Iwaizumi still grumbles the whole way up the thirty five steps, but he’s quiet as Oikawa slips two coins into the saizen-bako. Hajime wraps an arm around your shoulder as the coins rattle in the box and you know he’s upset too— his hands are slightly shaking and he keeps sniffing. Nationals might have been Oikawa’s dream but Iwaizumi was also a dreamer, and sure, Oikawa was going to go, but they were going to go together.

Tooru hangs two Ema boards and for the first time, he bows at the Honden. Two claps. Head down and hands together as he prays. Iwaizumi joins him: and you watch as Oikawa apologizes to him and Hajime shakes his head- because it was Hajime’s promise too. 

Oikawa is twenty-eight and on a plane when he finally keeps his first promise. 

It’s a small promise: but a promise nonetheless, one that he made before he left for Argentina. He tells you he loves you at the airport but he has his boarding pass in one hand and his passport in the other. And you tell him you love him too, but also that he’s being unfair, and no you won’t go out with him. And Oikawa knew you would say that, but he still finds himself making a promise– a promise you laugh at because Oikawa Tooru never keeps his promises.

If we’re still single in ten years, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to ask you out. 

You cry, and Tooru wraps his arms around you and cries too— and then Iwaizumi’s there, and Iwaizumi’s crying, and you don’t know which part of you is Oikawa or Iwaizumi. Oikawa leaves for Argentina with a heavy heart but a hunger for the future. 

In the ten years that pass he plays a lot of volleyball. He tans a lot. He learns some Spanish. He tries beach volleyball. And then, he buys a plane ticket on his birthday. 

from: y/n (21:12) happy birthday tooru !! me n hajime r having an honorary drink for u. hope ur having fun in argentina!!! hajime and i say te amo !!!!

from: tooru (21:15) i’d like a hot sake plssss thank u!!! ( ˙▿˙ )

from: y/n (21:15) LMFAO. no. me and haji r drinking ASAHI DRRRRRRYYYYYYYY for u bro also hajime got BUFF wat the hell hope ur tanning good in argentina 

from: tooru (21:16) well tell BUFF iwa chan that ill be there in 5 and i want a HOT SAKE and also YES i tanned good SO EYES OFF IWAIZUMI

from: y/n (21:17) ? what? ur funny lol … TOORU?

Tooru is twenty eight and might retire soon. Thirty five stairs is too many to climb and keeping promises is far more fun than breaking them. So he taps your shoulder, hands Iwaizumi your bouquet, and takes your cheeks in his palms to tilt your chin over. 

“Hi!” He says. 

 Tooru bends down to kiss you. 

WHAT A LONG WINTER, WHAT A BAD JOKE

── ♡ RENO ICHIKAWA

you couldn't be the hero reno wanted you to be.

Every time you remember Reno Ichikawa, it’s with flakes of snow clinging to his lashes and bundles of clothing that looked too big on his figure. You had met him in the winter, and it’s that version of him immortalised in your mind. Sometimes, you wonder if he thinks of you this fondly, before realising the answer would be less than favourable.

It starts with his grandmother’s hand on your back, urging you closer in the direction of her grandson. The youngest Ichikawa, unable to meet your eyes, keeps his gaze strictly on the carpeted floor even when his grandmother calls his name gently. You felt pity for the old lady, who had all but pleaded that you’d come to play with her grandson after having just moved into the house next door. While you were reluctant, preferring to choose your own company, your bleeding heart of a mother did not give you any choice on the matter, especially not with a glassy-eyed elder in front of her. You understand her desperation now, Reno was incredibly seclusive.

Seemingly having given up for now, Reno’s grandmother lets you know that she has fresh fruit for you in the kitchen, before exiting for her household chores. Now left alone with no supervision, the silence has become even more unbearable. You realise if you weren’t going to push him, you’d have to come home to your disappointed mother, and so you steel yourself for the uphill battle that is befriending this odd boy.

“Do you wanna play outside? I saw a cool hill earlier, have you seen it before?” When Reno nods his head slowly, you puff out your chest pridefully. “Well, everyone says I’m the best at making up games. The hill is gonna be a lot more fun now that I’m here!”

While he doesn’t protest, you can tell from his furrowed brows and permanent frown that he doesn’t believe you. This doesn’t bring down your confidence, instead sparking your competitive streak as you dash to the front door to tug on your fur-trimmed boots.

“You’ll see, then! I’m gonna race you there.”

Finally, some form of life comes back to the young boy, as he fumbles behind you to put on his shoes lest he falls behind on your head start. Despite your initial advantage, he manages to beat you to the beginning of the snow-painted hill, and you usually this would be your cue to throw a tantrum. However, when you see him finally smile gleefully at his first win, you decide to keep your mouth shut. You were too young to understand the flutter in your stomach.

Maybe it’s life’s cruel joke, to have you grow up under the adoration and dependency of Reno Ichikawa, only to snatch it away at the last second. You’re seated on your bed, white-knuckling your quilt till you are sure you could almost rip it apart. Reno, who stands in front of you, refuses to lower his resolute stare but you can tell he’s growing hesitant, his violet eyes flickering from your shaken expression to your trembling hands. Who could blame you? His news to you could shake the heart of anybody.

He wants to join the Anti-Kaiju Defence Force. He’ll die.

He wants you to join him.

“I can’t,” You manage to croak out, and his face falls.

“It’s okay,” He says softly, a tone he reserves just for you. He looks like he wants to reach over and grasp your hand in his, but restrains himself. “I’ll go.”

“No,” You insist, voice rising and you have little care for your parents who are still sleeping comfortably across the hall, unaware of the living nightmare happening to you. “I can’t do this. Where is this coming from? Why do you want to put yourself in danger for people you don’t even know?”

Why do you want to leave?

He isn’t able to answer you right away, but the stare he gives you is long and heavy. Reno’s affection has always been loud to you, but right now his disappointment is louder. You’re thankful that darkness mostly shrouds your bedroom, you don’t think you can handle visibly seeing Reno’s opinion of you chip away.

“I want to be a hero,” He finally answers, and you know he does. He always wished and prayed on it every Tanabata. Whenever you guys had played games, he had always picked to be the hero. Yet, it was only you who seemed to hope that an unrealistic ambition like that would eventually fizzle away.

“Can’t you do that some other way?” You are unable to bite back your frustration, and he freezes under your harsh tone. However, where you were stubborn, he was worse. He refuses to shrink under your firm gaze, his eyebrows puckering and a deep-set scowl on his lips.

“Why can’t you be supportive?” He snaps back, and you launch to your feet, the whiplash from the sudden movement making your head spin.

“Fine then, I’ll be supportive! Go die at the battlefield, where everybody will forget about who you are, and what you’ve done!” Your heart pounds rapidly against your ribcage, blood swimming in your head. “Go die, and leave granny and I to bury your remains, if the Kaiju feel nice enough to leave any bits of you behind!”

You know you’ve gone too far when you see his face contort, stung by your callous words, and you know it is too late to take them back. You didn’t even think about his family and the cruel losses he suffered under a Kaiju. An apology had already begun to leave your lips, but Reno didn’t wait long enough to hear it. His back is already turned, halfway out of the window he had first used to climb in, and you can only watch desolately as he disappears into the shadow of the night without a second glance back at you. You all but throw yourself at your pillow, sobbing silently into the sheets.

That night, long-forgotten memories of a young Reno haunt your mind.

(“I wish I had a hero,” He mumbles into the sleeves of his jacket, legs tucked to his chest as he twirls a stray leaf. You stop your ruthless onslaught on the piles of dead autumn leaves just to turn in his direction, head tilted as a sign for him to continue.

“It’d be nice,” He continues. “To have somebody always in your corner… knowing no matter what they’ll save you.”

You are not ignorant to the date, having only earlier visited his family grave with him and granny. The concept of death is much too grandiose and far away to your naive mind, but when you see the tears dotting the corner of Reno’s eyes you begin to have an understanding. He is wishing for something that could have spared him the heartache.

You stroll over to the bench he rests on, heaving your small body so you can sit beside him. Absentmindedly, you reach over to brush aside some stray leaves that had fallen in his hair. You miss the red that decorates the corner of his ears at the action.

“Then, I’ll be your hero!” You declare boldly, slapping a palm over your heart as you grin widely at his bewildered expression. “No matter what, I’ll save you!”

You feel relieved when a familiar smile quirks on the corner of his lips, and he’s back to being your beloved, kind-hearted Reno.)

Oh. You broke your promise.

keep you safe

reno ichikawa x gn!reader existing, established relationship. a bit of described gore, but its all kaiju guts word count: 1841

you and reno ichikawa were like night and day. reno had always been a bit reserved, and you’d been his bright counterpart, the extrovert that had adopted him as the two of you became fast friends. he’d opened up to you slowly, bit by bit, and the two of you were usually inseparable.

on your end, at least, friendship turned to admiration, something like adoration. you liked touching his face sometimes, brushing your knuckles across his hand and watching him flush a bit, turn away from you with a mumbled excuse on his lips. eventually, he’d dared to be a bit bolder, intertwine his fingers with yours, lean into touches with a soft, shy smile across his face.

“i want to become a defense force officer,” he’d said shyly, to you. he spun the straw of his drink around, not looking at you.

“oh?” you’d asked, leaning on the railing of the small apartment you lived in. “isn’t that dangerous work?”

“well, yeah,” reno murmured. “but i want to do it. i’ve wanted it for forever. to be out there protecting the people i love.”

he’d smiled at you, then, and you laughed.

“are you confessing to me, reno?”

reno’s violet eyes met yours, and you realized there was largely sincerity behind those eyes—you say largely, because he also seemed nervous—hesitant. almost worried.

“… yeah,” reno said. he fell silent for a moment. “i—i just wanted to, because—well, you know. i could-i could die, out there… and i think i would’ve beaten myself up if i got into a situation and realized that my one regret was not telling you how i feel. because that can so easily be changed if i—just… yeah, since i just told—”

you leaned up close to kiss the words out of his mouth, and he startled a little bit, his hand shifting, not sure where to put it, but you clasped his hand soon after, and you smiled into the kiss, realizing how sweaty his palms were—he must have gotten in his head about the confession, but you were so happy he’d gotten over the hurdle and just—said it, put it out in the open.

“i love you too, silly,” you responded against his lips. “i’m not gonna stop you from becoming a defense force officer if that’s what you want… but…” you raised your arms up, wrapping them around his neck, resting your forehead against his. his breath was shuddering, warm against your lips. “don’t forget me when you make it big, okay?”

reno laughed.

“of course not. how could i forget you?”

you spent days sitting alongside him as he studied for the entrance exams, watched as he applied for the cleanup crew job in preparation for the second phase of the exam.

his face was alight with determination that you couldn’t help but admire—reno had always been quiet, kind of forlorn. you’d tried your best to bring him out of his shell—and he always seemed to, around you, but now there was something different. a burning desire to become stronger? to chase after a tangible, difference-making dream? whatever it was, you wanted it to pull through.

“you’re okay, right? i heard that kaiju no. 8 attacked the hospital you were staying in,” you murmured. you stared out the window, at the faintest eruption of smoke in the distance. “and there was a honju attack, too—one after the other… are you really okay?”

“yea,” reno sounded a little sleepy from his side of the phone. he’d texted you that he’d ended up in the hospital on his first day of work—a yoju had attacked his coworker, and in an adrenaline-infused rush, he’d ran up to protect him, and both of them had barely gotten away with their lives, or so it seemed. “i’m okay. don’t worry about me.”

“but i do,” you replied. “all the time, you know that.”

“i know.” you heard the rustling of sheets. “if you don’t want me to—”

“no. no, you should. i want you to,” you replied. “don’t let my worry stop you from doing this. you helped your coworker, right? i’m sure you were super cool. i’d love to see you in your uniform.”

reno sounded flustered for a moment on his side of the phone, before he shifted again.

“today’s just been crazy,” he said. “but i really want to protect people. it just feels like—like it’s what i’m supposed to do. i guess it sounds kind of—embarrassing, now that i’ve said it, like i believe in fate or something, but—”

“i don’t think it’s embarrassing at all,” you said fiercely, squeezing a pillow on your bed close to your chest. “you’re super cool, reno. i’m happy my boyfriend’s the coolest guy around.” the last sentences are teasing, and you hear reno make another strangled sound.

“come on, you’re flattering me,” reno sounded muffled, as if he’d shoved his head into his sheets. “i’m not that cool. you could’ve done so much better than—someone like me, who got super reckless and thought he-he could take a yoju down with a street sign.”

“that sounds like literally the coolest thing ever, reno,” you replied.

you fell silent for a moment, adjusting your phone.

“i wish you were here,” you admitted after a moment. “i want a hug.”

“you know i’d be there if i could,” reno replied, sounding hesitantly shy. “once i get discharged?”

“sure,” you replied, the smile clear in your voice. “i’m looking forward to it.”

you wonder who’s going to save you now.

a large honju, its bulging eyes fixating on the fact that you’re horribly alone and isolated, the rubble collapsing around you making it impossible to run away and hide—but even if you could hide, there’s too much open space. you’d sprained your leg trying to run away the first time, before you’d underestimated just how fast this damn thing could fucking run.

it had pushed you into this corner, practically—toying with you as you realized far too late that you’d been completely backed into an area you couldn’t escape, about to become this honju’s next meal—though maybe that was inaccurate. you doubted you could even be a meal at all—just a tiny, insignificant snack on this monster’s rampage.

you wished fervently that you were stronger. maybe if you were a defense officer, too—but could you really kid yourself, thinking something like that? you rose up on shaking legs, trying desperately to control your breathing. you weren’t going to die. you couldn’t die. that would break reno’s heart, wouldn’t it? you didn’t want to break reno’s heart, you didn’t. you didn’t want to imagine a future where reno’s face would screw up with pain—a future where he might shed tears over you. he didn’t deserve that.

you remembered, desperately, for a moment, that they’d sent out the third division to deal with the current kaiju threat. surely that meant—no.

it’s not like civilian casualties weren’t common. you shudder to think of the possibility that you’d end up as another statistic—but you shuddered, terrified of the possibility that reno would find your lifeless body. you wanted to be alive to hug him, to press your head into the crook of his neck as he held the back of your head, just desperately glad that you were alive. you wanted some kind of happy ending—not death from some fucking honju.

the honju’s gigantic hand reached out for you, and you braced yourself for the worst, squeezing your eyes shut—

the resounding bang that rang through the air made your ears ring, and you felt something wet hit your face—as you opened your eyes, you touched your face, pulling it away to find your hand stained with blood—but not your own.

the honju shrieks, doubling back—and you realize with belated horror that its hand had been completely blown off, viscera scattering across rubble. the sight of the gore makes you collapse, practically, as your knees gave out.

“i’m sorry i’m late,” a familiar voice says, and you blink hard as—

“reno,” you say, almost dazedly.

he looked—good, in any case, dressed in the defense force suits you’d seen on television once in awhile when you’d watch a bit of the televised kaiju war effort. he pulled down his respirator mask for a second, giving you a small smile.

“you’re okay,” reno says, before turning back to the honju with deadly focus. “cover your ears as best you can, alright?”

you did as he asked, upon which several more loud bangs rang out, each rattling your very core, your ears ringing with the impact. the honju shrieked as each bullet punctured it, until it eventually gave out and collapsed against the ground, its shriek a death knell that almost made you want to curl up into a ball on instinct to hide from it—you were shaking, horrified at the sounds, the sight of the gore—the fact that it even stained your face.

reno lowers his gun.

“command, come in,” he says, his hand tapping his in-ear receiver. “i’ve killed the honju in this sector. recovered a civilian as well. i’ll oversee transport to the nearest medical facility. thank you.” he lowers his hand, kneeling down to wipe the blood from your face.

“reno,” you say weakly. “you saved me.” your shaking breaths turn to sobs as you press your face against his chest, your shoulders shaking. the surface of his suit is hot, almost burning, but you don’t care as your fingers barely dig into its surface. “i’m—i’m so—i was so scared—”

“i know,” reno says, hoisting you up with ease. you remember that he used to struggle to do that—not that he couldn’t lift you up, just that there was always more effort involved. he coaxes your legs to wrap around his waist, his hand coming up to stroke the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. “i know. i—i’m sorry. i should’ve—i could’ve come sooner, i knew we were being dispatched to-to the site, and—”

“it’s okay,” you cling to reno as your lifeline, pressing your cheek to his. “i’m just—i’m just—i’m so happy you came.”

reno looks at you, his violet eyes brimming with tears as he presses his forehead to yours, a shaking breath leaving his lips.

“i’ll always protect you, okay?” he says, his voice choking up. “i’ve got the strength to do it now—to protect the people i love. to protect you.”

you toy with the hair at the nape of his neck, kissing the tip of his nose.

“i know,” you say, quiet fondness creeping into your voice, despite everything. “i love you, reno.”

“i love you too,” reno says, and you’re flustered for a moment by how sure he sounds—he always used to hide away behind his hand when he said it, shy and unsure of himself. but the way he looks at you, with pure dedication and determination—your heart flutters again, and you laugh.

“kiss me, please,” you say, and reno kisses you so softly, and you melt into it, safe in his embrace.

Saw some of your Hoshina Fics and it was stellar! Absolutely fucking amazing. You don’t know how damn happy I am to see Kaiju No.8 on my page. Your writing is phenomenal.

With that in mind, would it be possible to get another Hoshina request in? Preferably a Hurt/Comfort scenario. Maybe they’d have argued or something and they’re forced to actually confront each other’s insecurities. Because we like flawed adults going through their issues ✨together✨

If you’d like a more solidified vibe, try listening to Unsweetened Lemonade by Amélie Farren. It might give you some ideas!

I hope you have a wonderful day ahead of you!! :DD

notes: thank you so much for ur kind words ;-;; wahh... i love angst,... and functional relationships.... which is why i always write relationships on the verge of collapse... also thank you for the song rec!

hemming and hawing

soshiro hoshina x gn!reader theres a bit of drinking, but nothing extreme. word count: 1834

hoshina isn’t really good at communicating. for being the vice captain of a squadron of elite soldiers, where communication was often the difference between life and death–he’s really fucking bad at communication–or at least, the kind that requires you to be personal with other people.

he’s been ignoring you for days.

you’re not even sure why, at this point. you’d thought whatever relationship you were kindling was going fine, right? you weren’t exactly sure where the two of you stood, but you liked each other plenty, right? right? 

right?

so why was hoshina ignoring you? why did he sit so far away, make constant excuses to get up and leave? what the fuck was wrong with him? every time you’d grabbed him to talk–oftentimes having to physically hold him by the arm, because he’d often keep trying to walk away from you–he’d respond with one-word answers, not quite looking at you. you’d sit at your desk, so restless that your leg would bang against the underside of the table just wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. 

were his feelings a fluke?

hell, were yours?

what the fuck had you done wrong?

had you done something wrong? had you overstepped a boundary somewhere? but then again, how could you have? how could you have overstepped a boundary if he never made clear what his boundaries were? were you insane? what the fuck were you doing? or maybe the better question to ask is was soshiro hoshina worth this amount of hemming and hawing? was it worth it to lose your mind over his stupid face, when you saw him laugh at something okonogi said, or exchange quips with ashiro? was it worth it, when you knew he used to make the same faces towards you, used to look at you with something like measured affection behind his eyes–

you slam your head so hard against your desk that you can feel it starting to bruise.

no. no matter what, you were losing your mind over soshiro hoshina, damn him! damn him!

it keeps going on like this for a couple days–you try to talk to hoshina, he shrugs you off faster than any competent sentence you could possibly string together can form, and he leaves. the rest of the third division seems to notice, too–you’ve noticed twice in a row okonogi giving you a worried look. it wasn’t a hidden secret or anything that you and hoshina got along quite well, so if even okonogi was giving you a weird look…

you’d shrug, simply, give her a smile, and ignore the raging tire fire burning under your skin.

the next time you get a moment with hoshina is during a celebration party following a successful mission. you pour yourself a healthy glass of the strongest alcohol you can manage, and chug down the entire thing in one gulp, wiping your mouth inelegantly with your sleeve. and then out of the corner of your eye–

hoshina’s watching you with a half-interested look–a look more interested and engaged with you than any other time in the past few weeks–and you think the sight of that makes you angrier–so unbelievably angry, paired with new fire from alcohol underneath. 

you turn to grab hoshina by the collar, glaring up at him–

“hey, now,” hoshina says with a light laugh. “had a little too much to drink, darling?”

darling.

oh, this fucking jackass–you think you almost see red, your teeth grinding together, and you can almost feel your lips peeling back in the facsimile of a snarl. 

“you don’t get to call me that,” you whisper, voice shaking with anger, “not after you’ve fucking blown me off for weeks, soshiro.”

hoshina’s crimson eyes open a little more, staring down at you, right where your hand tightens against his shirt. you’re lucky that the hubbub of the party is keeping everyone from staring at you, which you’re furtively grateful for. you think, that maybe you see hurt reflected in his eyes, but that’s fucking ridiculous. why does he deserve to hurt? he’s the one who fucking blew you off, who didn’t talk to you for weeks despite the two of you clearly reciprocating feelings. what did he have to hurt over? 

“i’m sorry,” hoshina mutters, and he leans forward–

“don’t fucking TOUCH me!”

your voice is louder than you’d like, and that gets a couple eyes on you.

your face feels red, and you drop hoshina’s shirt. hoshina’s eyes are still watching you, his gaze unreadable for a moment before he turns to the eyes watching you, a warm smile–a clear facade, loud and clear to you, but imperceptible to most others. you know hoshina, now–you’d watched him, studied him with intensity. he couldn’t hide from you, even if he wanted to. which made the fact he’d spent weeks ignoring you more infuriating–which made this current facade, a pretending thing–so much more infuriating.

“sorry, everyone,” hoshina says. “seems like our lovely engineer here might’ve had a little too much to drink. come on, i’ll walk you back.” he looks back down at you.

his eyes have that same strange hurt still reflected in his eyes.

something about it tears your heart across unevenly. 

“okay,” you say stupidly, and you let hoshina handle your body, swing your arm over his shoulder as he pulls you up. 

the walk back sobers you up just enough–enough to realize that you’re absolutely fucking mortified–did you seriously grab him? but the better question was why didn’t he stop you? why had he just let you yell at him? why had he looked at you like that, with hurt and something like pity in his eyes? and you couldn’t even figure out what you were more mad at–

could he have done it because he thought he deserved it? 

hoshina opens up the door to your dormitory, letting you make your way to your bed. you slumped down, pressing your back against where your bed met the wall. 

“i’ll leave you alone,” hoshina murmurs. “get some rest.”

you’re angry again, upon hearing him say that. how could a guy like him push your buttons so easily? 

“so you’re just going to leave again?” you snap. “how the fuck is that fair? that’s all you’ve been fucking doing, leaving me even though all i want is to talk.  i thought you liked me!”

you hate how your voice cracks at the end, and you raise up your legs to hug them to your chest. “i thought you fucking liked me,” you whisper. “and you won’t let me talk to you, won’t let me get close–what the fuck was the point of saying you loved me if this is what you’re going to do? it’d be so much less cruel to break my heat, just say no…”

hoshina’s silent.

way too silent.

“i’m sorry,” hoshina says, and he leans down, drops on the bed next to you–the bed sags beneath his weight, and he raises a hand to touch where your hand hugs your knees to your chest–but you move away. you hate the way you almost relish in the way he seems hurt, but he places his hand between the two of you, a mediating bridge. “you can hit me, if you want.”

“what?”

you stare at him, your gaze incredulous. 

hoshina’s gaze is painfully soft, mixed with that strange pity. as if he deserves this.

“i’d deserve it,” hoshina murmurs. “i’m sorry.”

“i’m not going to hit you!” you say. “what would the point of that be? to prove yourself that you don’t deserve love? to prove to yourself you weren’t good enough? even though this is all your fault–”

hoshina’s gaze flickers at your words.

“that’s it, isn’t it? all part of your weird complex where you deny yourself things that you want!” you lean forward, reaching out to grasp him by the shirt. “so i was just fucking collateral damage to you?” you tumble for a moment, pushing him flat onto his back. he looks up at you, his lips parted for a moment. you feel your grip shaking for a moment, and your vision grows blurry– your eyes burn with tears as you shake. “i told you i knew what i wanted, you fucking idiot! i wanted you! i still want you!”

through blurred vision, you can see your tears dripping onto hoshina’s face–and hoshina just watches.

“i don’t care if you don’t think you’re not good enough,” you say through a choked sob. “you’ve always been more than good enough to me. do you get that? no, actually. you didn’t–because if you did you would have just talked to me like a normal fucking person!” you laugh desperately, crazily, almost–you feel fucking crazed. “and i’ve been driving myself mad! because of you!”

hoshina raises a hand to touch your cheek.

“take some fucking responsibility,” you rasp, tugging at his shirt. “take some responsibility for this! for what you’ve done to me!”

what a horrible thing love was.

your heart feels like it’s on fire, burned and scorched earth.

“i’m sorry,” hoshina repeats, simply. “you’re right.”

he leans up to press his forehead against yours, and you tremble.

“i was scared,” hoshina whispers. “that the things i’d said to kafka and the others–that you’d never know when you’d lose the people you love–that it’d come true. i was determined to shut myself out–make myself unknown again. i couldn’t–cross the boundary. to let myself have love. or anything like it. not from you.”

he sighs, gently nudging you to let him up. he leans close to you, presses his head against the wall to watch you. his gaze–this exact gaze, you’ve missed it. missed the way he watched you, with brimming fondness–and yet here you can see so clearly that there’s desperate pain in his eyes–bubbling and brimming just underneath the surface.

“i was struck by how much i wanted it. love. you. all of this. and i was scared because it could all just disappear so quickly,” hoshina continues. his hand touches your face, and you let that calloused touch, the familiar touch against your cheekbone, the bridge of your nose, your upper lip. “i didn’t–want to lose it. so i figured i could’ve just been happy with a little.”

“you fucking idiot,” you whisper in venomous response.

“yeah.” hoshina doesn’t deny it.

“i’ll give it to you,” you respond. “love. no matter how much you think you don’t deserve it. you don’t even have to ask.”

when hoshina looks at you again, he seems almost fractured at the possibility of it.

“i know,” he murmurs. 

“i love you,” you say, and your voice trembles for a moment. “you fucking awful piece of shit.”

hoshina laughs weakly.

“i deserve that,” he murmurs. “but i love you. i promise i do.”

you shake your head. 

“i know that,” you say. you reach out a hand to touch his face, and you can feel the smile forming on his face.

“okay,” he murmurs. “okay.”

no such thing as too many keychains ... ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

i would like a full breakdown of why nearly every single outfit in obey me is ugly. its not even moderately ugly, If i were to be in public with them, i would be embarrassed. i look at their sprites and am immediately filled with rage.

🐟 Kiana Kaslana Tuna Doodles 🐟

Hummingmint〜🤍

a little fluff blurb for bladie from my google docs !! reader here is fem.

Blade almost took it personally when you failed to notice him. 

His presence in your room certainly stands out. Everything about him contradicts the soft pastel colors, abundant flora, and cute finishing touches. Nothing in the universe aside from your kitchenette registers. You hum along with the song playing in your ears, waiting for your tea’s timer to go off. 

He walked in when the countdown read five minutes. Presently, it’s at two. 

You’re wearing dangerously short pajama shorts and an old t-shirt, the band’s logo faded out from years in the wash. He’d considered making himself known, but watching you frolic about proved too tempting. You have your back turned toward him, entirely oblivious, stuck in a little world of your own making. 

Creepy as it may be, Blade considers it soothing to stare at you. Therapeutic, even. A way to unwind from the blood-filled jobs that beckon his mara out to play.

A wicked idea forms in his head. Going without you for so much as a day is enough to seriously dampen his mood. Normally, it’s his enemies that reap the consequences. He’ll miss their vitals just enough that they’re left to go into shock and bleed out, rather than a swift, merciful death. What can he say? It’s their fault for existing and cutting into his time with you. That’s on them.

He stalks over, movements akin to a mountain lion that’s located its unsuspecting prey. 

You’re lifting the teabag out a few moments early. He’s close enough to double as your shadow, the corners of his lips twitching upward from anticipation. 

The second your timer goes off, he strikes, large hands settling on either side of your hips. This unexpected contact earns immediate retaliation. You actually squeak, much to his surprise (and amusement). Your response doesn’t end there. From instinct, you twist your torso around, ready to ward off the threat. 

Maybe it’s because you have an object in your hand, or maybe it’s because your subconscious knows you’re in no real danger, but you don’t materialize your weapon. 

Instead, you try thwacking him with your dripping teabag. 

He easily catches your wrist, thwarting your assault. It takes you all of a millisecond to understand the situation. You use your free hand to slowly remove your in-ears. He can’t help it — your pinched-together eyebrows and scrunched-up nose makes him chuckle. This worsens his crimes from your perspective, which you make evident by a non-threatening glare. 

“Nice weapon,” he drawls. 

“Hey, that’s— that’s unfair,” you complain. “I wasn’t expecting an ambush.” 

Blade raises an eyebrow. “Is it an ambush if you expect it?” 

“Yes? No. Maybe. Quit looking at me like that, I didn’t sleep well last night.” 

“Mhm.” 

He plucks the teabag from your grasp and throws it away. Meanwhile, you remain frozen in time, only moving enough to cross your arms over your chest. The wrath you try directing his way is largely ineffective. Your miffed countenance is akin to a bunny scowling. 

“I was looking forward to your return, but I’ve since changed my mind.” 

“Mm.” 

He hoists you up onto the kitchenette’s countertop. The way the soft flesh of your thighs expands against the marble tempts him, but he knows he won’t be getting anything until your faux frustration is appeased. It won’t take much — or long. He just gazes into your pretty eyes, his bandaged hand cupping your face, the pad of his thumb massaging your cheekbone. You melt for him almost immediately. 

“Everything alright?” You ask, your arms finding their place around his neck. 

To Blade, everything’s more than ‘alright,’ because you’re here. Treating him with care he doesn’t deserve, and love he deserves even less. He used to worry he’d taint you, like clear waters turning opaque from filth. However, it’s as Kafka once said, likely pitying his lovelorn self. 

“Shouldn’t you let her decide that for herself?” 

For reasons genuinely beyond his comprehension, you decided he was worth the trouble. 

His gloved hand settles on your thigh. The irony of how he caresses you with the same hand responsible for hundreds, if not thousands of deaths isn't lost on him. Since regaining a semblance of consciousness, that's all he thought he was good for. Bloodshed and slaughter.

He observes how you shudder through lidded eyes.

You don't look at him as if he's a monster. You should, he often thinks, because he is. There's no sugarcoating the truth. He's become everything he once swore to eradicate. Mad, vengeful, immortal. A product of the Abundance's perversion of the lines separating life and death.

And yet, all those centuries, all that suffering led him to you.

You aren't the light at the end of the tunnel — you're light in its entirety.

Blade is greedy when he slots his lips against yours. He's greedy when he pulls you closer, his bandaged hand tilting your head up, allowing him to devour you with ease. Your scent, your taste, your little laugh at how unabashedly eager he is, everything blurs together and threatens to leave him breathless.

How can he pull away when your legs wrap around his waist? When you thread your hands through his hair, reciprocating his ardor like he's worth even an ounce of your affection? He isn't, he's nothing compared to you, a ghost of a man who can't cross over into the afterlife.

Sometimes, he no longer wants to. Not if you're on this side of eternity.

"Well?" You pull back a few inches from him to ask. As pretty as your smile is, he likes your lips best when they're against his. "You gonna answer my question?"

He furrows his eyebrows together and tries kissing you again. Talking about emotions in any context isn't his forte, you both know that. He's always preferred to express himself through actions than words. However, when you deny him the pleasure of your lips a second time, impatience coils inside his chest.

He huffs.

"The best," he deadpans. You roll your eyes yet laugh anyway.

"You almost pout more than I do," you tease. For this infraction, he gives your thigh a pinch, enjoying the feeling of your soft flesh a little too much. "I just worry, y'know? You become such a sourpuss when we're apart for any length of time."

You aren't wrong, but he'll keep that to himself.

“Okay, okay, stop glaring. C’mere.”

You don’t need to tell him twice. He takes you up on your offer the second you’ve finished making it.

Blade might not know how to tell you how much you mean to him, but that doesn’t mean he can show you.

just thinking about argenti who has so much love to give to the whole universe, who is on a neverending journey of spreading the beauty across the cosmos faithfully, unwaveringly; argenti, who is never capable of receiving that kind of love back. because he cannot stop. because he cannot stray from the path of the aeon that hasn't answered to his prayers even once in his lifetime. because if he dares devote himself to anyone other than idrila, that person is going to have to wait for him all alone, thousands of light years away. lol

warnings for dark themes, angst, argenti backstory references so he’s insane and weird, and argenti literally murdering you, i guess.

i have this in my inbox as well. i liked the link, so now you WILL hear my thoughts.

i had so many thoughts for this prompt initially, but i just couldn’t string it into anything that was actually coherent.

somebody actually came into my inbox and said the interpretation of argenti’s story is wrong and i’m wrong and he didn’t actually kill his friends and SHUT UP i do what i want, and it’s just that: an interpretation. i like putting tragedy into my characters. it’s like adding salt to a bland meal.

anyway.

the worst part about this prompt, and yours, is in his inability to stop his pursuit of finding idrila, he meets you, and he does fall in love despite his promise to venture the stars alone on his journey.

argenti finds falling in love is beautiful at first. you’re supportive, even if he leaves you for extended voyages. he always brings back trinkets, gifts, leaves you one thousand messages a day that read more like love letters than normal texts, and the love he showers you in is endless.

you don’t doubt him for a second.

and then, things change. you tell him it’s difficult to love a person that’s gone for so long.

argenti does truly feel sorry, and he pities you, but this is who he is.

and you’re hurt. his devotion to idrila aside, you tell him that he’s crossed galaxies to find an aeon that does not care for him, nor the other fellow knights of beauty. they are not emanators bestowed with idrila’s power, nor has idrila been sighted by anyone for eons.

to you, it feels like he’s pining for someone else. you are in love with his undying loyalty, and his unshakeable faith. but, it hurts to be away from him for so long while he chases after a being well above you.

argenti cannot stray from the path he wanders. he insists he will do better, but when you thank him, and apologise because you feel selfish, he can’t help but notice your nails have grown to the size of curled claws.

the relationship grows worse from there. he slowly sees less of you, and more of something else. an otherworldly creature that morphs to the shape of you to keep him trapped here and away from his endeavours.

he finds himself growing to learn that the person, you, whom he’s loved with all his heart, was never a person, but a monster wearing your skin.

you break the relationship off some time later.

he finds himself relieved. not because you’re leaving—his heart shatters, actually—but because he knows, somewhere deep down in his stomach, if you stay any longer, he’ll hurt you.

argenti apologises, but you find he cannot look you in the eyes. so, you part ways. maybe you go back home, maybe you set up somewhere else by yourself. it hurts because you felt he was everything you’d ever wanted, and he was, but you know it’s better this way.

in the ideas i was writing for this prompt, i imagined you set up in belobog and work in that floral shop—i cannot remember if it has a name.

it’s been months, and you grow okay with yourself again, and everything is fine. you make bouquets, trim the stems of flowers as will, tend to the pots outside the shop, and all is well.

maybe argenti comes to the shop. he doesn’t know you work here, and he’s only come in because he’s stopped on belobog for his ship needs a repair and the red roses growing outside the window catch his eye. they’re just barely blooming, and spring looms just around the corner.

he doesn’t even realise the shop is open because it looks dark through the glass.

curiously, he opens the door to the shop, and the bell above the door tolls. a cute little shop, and bright colours encircle the walls. daisies, frangipanis, dahlias, petunias, he knows them all from your incessant ramblings when you would walk through gardens together, and he would hold onto every word.

you bound from the back room after hearing the bell, and you both just freeze up. you’re in shock he’s here—but why wouldn’t he be here? he travels planet to planet in search of his aeon—and he only sees something grotesque, and ugly, and a mockery of you. this isn’t you. it’s a mimicry. blasphemy of righteousness, of pure beauty, of one of idrila’s very creations they pulled from their gentle heart and offered to him so graciously.

he knows deep down he’s wrong. he knows, he knows, he trusts himself he knows, but he can’t win over his twitching fingers.

you greet him softly, gently pushing the work in progress bouquet and the garden pliers to the side of the front desk. there’s a multitude of thorns on the bench, and the roses in the bouquet, not yet bloomed, are picked free of their thorns.

there’s only one in the bouquet, one red shimmering rose, that has fully opened its petals.

“haven’t seen you in a while,” you say to him. there’s a hint of that customer service-y tone; because he’s not your lover anymore. “how are you?”

argenti swallows. “just the same.” he turns to the flowers on the wall. “you have a beautiful shop.”

“thanks.” you glance down at the bouquet on the bench. “did the roses outside catch your eye?”

you hear him laugh merrily. “you know me too well.” his fingers graze along the petals of a large assortment of pink amaryllis hanging over a plantar pot. he cannot look at you. he cannot, he cannot, he cannot–

“hey.”

and there’s that tone that twists his stomach. he wants to look, he wants to see you, you, and not that hideous beast that resides beneath your skin.

he feels you stop just beside him. he dares to glance.

amidst your claws and the veiny lines of your once soft and delicate hands that he always would press his lips to the back of, was a single red rose that you twirled between your fingers.

you hand it to him gently. “this one’s special.” when argenti did not move to take it, you tuck it securely behind his ear, indulging in how soft his hair was along your skin. “it’s stayed alive for a lot longer than i thought. it’s been around for about two years now, give or take.” you step back. “it reminded of you.”

and it did. undying strength, and despite all odds of belobog’s weather being unfit for roses, as all of the others had wilted over time, this particular one had stayed.

“i know things didnt end well, but…” you glance out the window. “but, you’re always welcome back here.” and, you still love him. you omit that part. “i’m sorry for whatever happened, or if i wasn’t good enough, or if there was somebody else–”

even now, he laughs. it’s weak. “there was nobody else.”

you nod once. “well. still. i’m sorry.”

argenti knew it had been all his fault, but you, ever gracious and kind as you were, felt burden on your shoulders.

his hand draws back from the amaryllis to graze over the rose behind his ear. the petals were fresh, a light smell of dewdrops in the morning on this cold planet.

he wishes now, he never turned to look at you. he wished he had just spun on his heel and left the shop, and never returned to you. you didn’t deserve this; you had always been so kind, so careful, so gentle with him.

but he did turn, because he had fooled himself into thinking it was truly you standing there, and not some masked fool, or a hideous shapeshifter that was showing its true colours. he sees those claws again, and pulled aged skin that reminds him of trees as old as time, horrible teeth, twisted limbs that crack and bend—

to make matters worse, you notice his distress, and as you always did when you were together, you pull him gently towards you and wrap your arms around him.

argenti, mistakenly, returns the warm embrace, and unbeknownst to you, one of his hands brushes against the garden shears you’d left on the desk next to the bouquet.

he thinks against it for a moment when he hears you apologise for what he had done wrong, and bury your face in the plated shoulder of his silver armour.

despite how he holds the writhing creature in his arms, he knows it’s you. and it is you, but he doesn’t see you, nor does he see any semblance of you left when he turns his head to stare out of the window. he catches a reflection of the creature twitching.

he murmurs an apology as well.

and then, he drives the shears into a particular spot in your spine. you gasp, and you become dead weight in his arms as the feeling of your legs fall away.

cold snaps up your chest and you cry out in pain. it’s just pain, and pain, and pain as hot blood dribbles from your neck.

and then there’s nothing. there’s no feeling. you can’t even breathe. your arms and legs feel as though they’ve just disappeared, and just as he hoped, you don’t feel his spear drive directly through your chest.

he kills you then, as quickly as he can, because as the monster cries and screams, he still knows it’s you in his arms, and he wouldn’t live with himself if you suffered in your final moments.

he sees you, finally, when he lays you down gently on the floor. he tries his best to clean you of the tear stains, and the blood smears that had crept around the front of your neck. you’re still beautiful, even in death, but he finds it impossible to leave the rose you’d gifted him.

so, he takes it—and that rose probably becomes the rose he carries in all his little animations in game. he traverses with guilt, and it’s probably a little wink nudge nudge to you when he says he owes his next battle to ‘a solitary rose.’

whoever starts talking about their dead twin first has to pay the bill

hello regarding that small jing yuan ramble you wrote. um. you're literally cooking w it. the money i would pay to see you write it is insane 🫡

thank you for your contributions to the hsr community. you are a godsend girl (｡- .•) <3

SOS — jing yuan

summary. you grow sick, and lo and behold, it’s not actually from your pathetic pining over the general of the luofu, but something else.

notes. based on this. five people asked for it. i want to lick a bold stripe up this man’s chest. All Hail Jing Yuan.

warnings. 16+ as it may be mildly suggestive, heliobus possession, injuries, blood, vomiting (not a kink. you’re just sick), a literal exorcism, and you and jing yuan get it on on some random park bench.

You had been sick for a while. Maybe a week, now. First, it had started as a simple cold; blocked nose, sore throat, weak bones. 

But now, even after a trip to the doctor’s to retrieve some medicine to at least soothe the persistent ache in your throat, the cold was growing worse and worse. 

And today, you were convinced that whatever illness you had wasn’t just a simple cold. 

Your stomach is twisting into knots, and there’s an incessant panging in the back of your skull. 

At first, you tried to ignore the pain. You had a report to write up that was expected by a coworker by the end of the day, but you were only growing sicker by the minute. 

This had to be the worst day of your life.

Worked to Hell, stressed, your hair was a mess, there was a toothpaste stain on your shirt, and you were sure one of your socks was inside out. 

The Master Diviner had noticed your state first. As soon as you walked into the doors and sat down, she passed by your desk, placed a small pile of papers before uttering a quick, “are you sick?” 

She did it out of concern, but all it did was knock your confidence down into the negatives. 

And now, you had an even bigger issue hovering over your shoulder. 

“You look unwell.” 

Your head shoots up from your desk, and the holographic screen fades out of view when your hand slams over the gadget. You’re sure you just ruined half of your report; you don’t remember the last time you saved. 

When you push back your hair, two pairs of golden eyes are peering down at you. 

Uh oh. 

“Uh–” Your face was burning, half out of embarrassment, and also because he was so close to you. You could feel your face instinctively scrunching up to keep the tears at bay. “Sorry, General.” 

General Jing Yuan offers you a small but concerned knit of his brows. A hand presses to your forehead. “You’re running hot.” 

“No, no…” You were not getting sent home. God you needed the money right now. “I’m fine. Thank you.” You move away from his hand and try to turn your burning face from him. 

Your head felt wrong. You felt dizzy. 

Your mother was bombarding you with messages begging you to come help her at her restaurant, your father wouldn’t stop asking you to come home because he missed you, and you were swamped with work, and nothing was coming together, and now you’re sick– 

“Mmm. I’m afraid I don’t believe you,” General Jing Yuan presses. “You look as though you’re about to pass out.”

You shake your head slowly, cautious of the migraine pulling behind your eyes. Crying won’t help the migraine forming, idiot. “I need this pay, sir.” 

“That can be arranged.” 

Oh, good Gods. 

The playful smile he sent your way almost made you melt into a puddle onto the floor. 

You always wondered how soft his hair was. 

You want to say more. You want to tell him not to worry; you’d worked through worse. For the amount of sick sessions you’d had in these bathrooms, the last stall on the second floor bathrooms of the building practically became your second bedroom. 

You also want to lean forward and taste his lips. But, for one, that’s sort of unprofessional, and two, he doesn’t even know your name. You’re also sure you look like an absolute mess, and a complete turn off. 

You shake your head again, but when you try to stand up, you wobble. Jing Yuan rests his hands on your shoulders to keep you steady. 

You can’t tell if you’re spiralling into hysteria, or if your body’s actively trying to fight the worst flu of your life. 

“I’m sorry, I–”

Absolutely humiliated, you burst into tears. 

You try to muffle it so as to not disturb any of your coworkers. 

You’re desperately trying to find a dry spot on your sleeve to wipe your tears, but surprisingly, the General hums sympathetically and swipes his thumbs beneath your eyes. 

Then, he reaches over the desk and shuts off the gadgets, collects your bag, and hands it to you. 

“Go home.” There’s a gentle flutter of his lashes. 

Your face is still burning when you bow your head. You can’t disobey him. The Master Diviner was your boss, but he’s even above her. “Yes, sir.” 

General Jing Yuan escorts you to the door slowly, and winks at you on your departure. “Rest well.” 

You’re more convinced your face is burning because he touched you, more than how your skin feels like it's being melted from the inside by a growing fever. You promptly ignore the strange looks you get while you sob all the way home. 

ೃ༄

Your sob session had left you feeling worse, and you’d promptly been sick in the toilet as soon as you made it to your home. 

You’d tried to swallow pills to ease the headache growing behind your eyes, but you couldn’t even stomach that. 

For a while, you had shivered in your own sweat on the bathroom floor. It was disgusting. You had planned to call a doctor, but it was way too late for any clinics to still be open at this hour. 

It was dark when you got home. 

After what seemed like an hour, you garnered enough strength to peel off your clothes and scrub the sweat and grime off of yourself. The steam of the shower was only relieving for a moment. As soon as you step out, you feel dizzy all over again. 

But, you’d made a mission to get changed, brush your teeth at the very least, and try to sleep it off. 

You manage to pull on something more comfortable. You try not to move too much. You can feel acid sloshing in your stomach with every shift of your arms, and you want to teeter over and empty your guts again. 

You hold out long enough to feel weakly for your toothbrush. Your face is somewhat clean, disregarding the tears that silently drip down your cheeks—you know that crying is doing the opposite of relieving your headache, but you can’t stop yourself. 

You rinse the taste of sick from your mouth and lean against the cool bench to soothe the heat surging through your body. 

When you look up, you blink and catch something in the mirror. 

Maybe you were just staring in the mirror for too long. 

Not only had your face warped into something hideous, but there was now something green floating behind your ear. 

It looks like a wisp, lime and yellow, like a spirit. 

You slowly turn your head in the direction of it. 

There’s nothing there. Your eyes meet the wall of the shower instead. 

You try to reach out a hand to it while staring into the mirror, but you feel nothing. 

“Sweet.”

You jump back. 

Your fingers twitch just before the reflection of the orb. It’s like a ball of green flames lingering by the side of your head. You feel no aura, no heat radiating off of it.

You scrub your wet eyes with the heels of your palms. 

Still there. 

Your eyes then narrow suspiciously. It does little to help your headache. 

If you didn’t feel two seconds from collapsing, perhaps you would’ve been more alarmed. 

You try to reach for it again. 

Your fist twitches forward and it slams into the mirror. 

Not only does white hot pain peel up your arm and split your knuckles, but the glass shatters into pieces. It falls to the floor and embeds in your skin, and you’re sure the wound will scar. 

You don’t find it in you to scream, because the pain is so far away you don’t feel like you’re inside your body anymore. 

It’s a ghost. 

Oh, Aeons, you’re being haunted by a small cloud. 

Briefly, you worry it’s one of your passed grandmothers, or her grandmothers. They'd probably reprimand you for being single and pining after a dude that was like hundreds of years old. 

The spirit’s voice is unfamiliar until you recognise it.

It’s yours, and it's coming directly out of your mouth. 

“I’ve been here a long time, y’know?” Your brain buzzes with confusion. Are you speaking? Not really. But you are speaking. That’s your voice—did you always sound so obnoxious? Ew. “You just haven’t noticed.” 

You exhale shakily. You try not to cry, but tears pool down your face anyway. The pain in your head grows worse. You’re sure your brain is splitting in two. 

Blood drips from your hand and onto the tiled floor.  

“It hurts less if you let this happen. Assimilation is usually easy, but with you, not so much. You’re very stubborn.” 

Oh, great. More insults. Just what you needed. This sucks. Your work is overdue, your pay has probably been cut accordingly, and now there’s a ghost in your body and ruining your house. 

You blindly try to touch the spirit again. 

Your hands don’t move.

“What are you?” That’s you. You know it’s you. Your voice wavers. It’s less confident than when the spirit speaks with your mouth. 

“I am your desires. A fruition of your every thought and being.” The flame continues to burn. It lets you take a little bit of control. Your fingers phase through the reflection of the spirit in the mirror. “And you are delicious.” 

The implication was there, but all the statement made you feel was disgust. Your body involuntarily shudders, and the flame hums in confusion before you stiffen once again. 

Your hand is bleeding. There’s red pooling all over the bathroom bench, but you still cannot feel the throbbing and the glass protruding from your skin. 

“You are sweeter than other humans. Like sugar.” The flame feels warm close to your skin. “I realise your kind calls it ‘attraction.’”

Oh, my God. The stupid soul knows that you lay awake at night thinking about this man that barely knows you exist. 

This is embarrassing. 

You can’t even will yourself to cry, so all you can afford is to blink stupidly. 

And why are you now thinking of how he smelled when he touched you when there’s a literal ghost with a vendetta taking over your body? 

You need to get your priorities in check. 

Your fingers twitch with disobedience. Your phone sits untouched on the counter. The screen is covered with shards of glass and smudges of water from the faucet, but you know you can reach it. If you try hard enough. 

Come on. 

Your index finger twitches again.

The ghost is going on a tangent about your boring little life and your boring little crush on the General. 

You can’t bear to listen anymore. 

Your hands spring to life and you pounce for your phone. It’s not exactly in vain, for you do manage to withstand the pull of the spirit and the pain that returns to your hand and your head as you open your messages and swipe over the first contact you see. 

It’s Madame Fu, much to her misfortune. You’re too desperate to consider yourself a burden. 

Considering the time, she’s most likely getting things sorted to close the building. The last message was an automated message of your pay being sent to your account from last week. 

“What are you doing?!” the spirit shouts. It bounces inside of your head like a bullet has fired. 

Your trembling fingers swipe over your keyboard. 

You procure a melodious string of poetry as a result. 

You: HEPLP IRMB

Your head is pounding. You’re sure you’re about to throw up. A dizzy surge spears behind your eyes. 

You: BOSS I NEEDYRLURHEL P

The phone drops from your hands as soon as your thumb cards over the send button. You notice the messages send through before your eyes wordlessly snap to the mirror and you stand ramrod still. 

Once again, you’re a passenger beneath your own skin. 

When the spirit takes over, the pain dissipates, and the fearful tears that run down your cheeks quickly dry. 

After a moment, the spirit calms itself down. 

“I’ve grown so impatient with you. You’re boring. You’re lucky your emotions are so delicious, otherwise I would’ve abandoned you a long time ago.” You don’t consider yourself lucky. If anything, the ghost should consider itself lucky it gets to rest in your warm soup for a brain. You’re sure every working brain cell has fried to a crisp at this point. “You’re so sad and miserable. How’s about I help you get your life back on track?” 

You want to ask why. You’re sure it has better things to do than play wingman. 

But, you stare at the soul fluttering beside your head with wide eyes. Your chest heaves with worry. 

How you haven’t succumbed to cardiac arrest yet is beyond you. You would’ve patted yourself on the back for remaining so strong about the situation; but you suppose you’re sort of cheating. Not being in control of your body probably means that if you were autonomous, you’d be on the floor sobbing over your injured hand, the broken mirror that would cost a few hundred credits to fix, and the fact that General Jing Yuan actually put a finger on you today. 

Oh, and also there’s a ghost haunting you. That, too.

“This is my body now.” 

Yep. You definitely needed to get your priorities in check. 

You were beginning to feel woozy. The smell of copper hit your nose, and your stomach turned over itself four times. 

“Now. Let’s fix this face up. You look dreadful.” 

Thanks. You’re not sure if you can speak to it, but your voice radiates a laugh much unlike your own. It’s more of a short sweet cackle than anything. Somehow, the ghost is able to navigate and use your phone’s camera to clean your face properly. 

It ignores the blood oozing from your knuckles, choosing instead to curiously open drawers until it stumbles upon a bag full of makeup. 

All of this expensive stuff you’d splurged on last year. You will your breath to remain somewhat of an even pace.

You’d have a breakdown over this if you manage to survive before the spirit decides to throw you off a cliff later. 

You feel like this ghost is more suited to be your therapist, ironically, with how it mumbles in your voice about how you could present yourself much better if you got out of bed earlier every morning and cared about yourself. 

“You know… that old geezer likes you, too.” 

Your heart stops. 

Then, there’s a cruel snort that leaves your lips right after. 

If you could scowl, you would have. Don’t let it get to your head. It’s lying. It’s trying to get a rise out of you. And it was working, too. 

You didn’t even realise your feet were moving towards your closet to fish out something suitable to the ghost’s tastes.

This was going to be a long day. 

ೃ༄

A long day did not entail you stumbling back to the workplace because the ghost didn’t know how to handle the pain of fancy shoes. The brickwork of the roads were uneven towards the entrance, and you almost trip onto your face. 

“Where is that man?” 

This was awful. 

You wanted to die on the spot. 

“He can’t hide from me,” the ghost informs you. At least, you think it’s speaking to you. “I can taste him.” 

You want to ask what he tastes like. 

The ghost seems to understand your silence. “Humans call it ‘cinnamon.’” 

Oh. Yum. 

You grimace. Inside your head. This was confusing. Your body feels like a suit being worn by someone else. It’s weird. It’s wrong. It’s almost violating. 

You feel as though you’re witnessing everything through a screen. You cannot feel anything; not the snug of the clothes you’re wearing, or the wind on your skin, or the pain in your feet from the shoes. Nothing. 

All you can do is watch. 

You wish you couldn’t have. 

This is so painful. 

“General!” 

Oh, God, that’s your voice. And you’re moving very briskly towards a large figure who’s stopped to acknowledge you. 

He seems barely taken aback when you stumble and fall into his arms. 

You’re way too excited pushing hair from your face that the General has to cock his head to the side for you to acknowledge him.

His eyes have widened significantly, and the grin on his lips is awkward, to say the least. “How are you feeling?” His hand presses to your forehead again and draws back quickly. “You’re still hot.” 

“Thank you, General.”

He lets out something akin to a snort. 

This sucks. You’re like a vessel, and yet you’re sure your face is still burning at the proximity.

Oh, this is so embarrassing. 

You realise you can sort of smell him. It’s so light, though. 

He really does smell like cinnamon. You had never noticed it before. It’s faint, as if he hasn’t chosen to top up his perfume from the morning, but it clings to his uniform nonetheless.

“Do you need to sit down?” he asks worriedly. 

You realise he’s the only thing holding you up. 

You try to cry for help. 

Nothing but a pleased giggle escapes your throat. You realise there’s a burning in your chest. You figured it to be your heart giving out on you—you’d take death over the embarrassment that washed through your veins. 

Your wishes did not come true. 

General Jing Yuan peers behind you for a moment, watching where you came from. 

Are you trembling? You can’t tell. 

“Are you feeling alright?” he asks again. His grip on you has tightened. 

You try to say no, but instead you blurt out, “I’m good– great, actually. Since you’re here.” 

This was horrible. You want to sink into the floor and never be seen again. There’s a cackling in your ears, and it’s your voice. 

“Shall I bring you to a medic?” 

You slowly shake your head. 

“Do you need an escort back home?” 

Oh, boy. You manage to weakly shake your head again. It’s all you can muster. Your voice isn’t working. It’s not yours. You were also afraid you’d try to drag him inside your bedroom if he did walk you home. 

He brings you over to a seat and helps you sit. Your legs are bouncing all over the place and you can’t find it in yourself to sit still. Your eyes are flitting left and right and up and down trying to locate the source of the voices you’re hearing swarming your head. 

A hand touches your cheek. You instinctively lean into his palm. 

“You’re bleeding.” And he’s touching your hand. You may as well have fainted there. 

“Flesh wound,” you say. 

Jing Yuan’s grin turns crooked. “I commend your bravery, but this may require stitches.” 

“Has anyone ever told you that you have really nice eyes?” 

Here we go. The cackling was growing worse. You feared your head would explode before your pounding heart would. It felt as though it was shattering your ribcage as it thumped. 

The General tilts his head. Loose curls of white follow. 

You’re so relieved he sat you down. Otherwise you would have fallen to the floor. 

“Really nice,” you repeat. “Like sunshine.” 

Jing Yuan looks at you strangely. “Charming, aren’t you?” You’re busy admiring the shadows that his lashes cast over his cheeks. 

Your heart melts. You are so ridiculously down bad it hurts. 

You’re sure he can see your cheeks burning. That’s involuntary, too. The spirit inside of you seems equally confused. 

Good. If it wants to embarrass you, you’re going to cook this thing from the inside out with your body heat. You hope the fever boils it alive. That would be cool. Deserved. 

And if you lived, you get to tell your future grandchildren how you bested your vengeful ancestor because you had a fever and it couldn’t withstand your body temperature. 

The spirit’s confidence in your body, however, does not waver. 

You can see a glint in General Jing Yuan’s gaze. His eyes loiter behind you again as if he’s staring at something approaching. 

The spirit doesn’t notice a thing. 

“Well.” General Jing Yuan’s thumb traces over your cheek again. “If we’re playing that game, I will admit you look lovely tonight.” 

Oh, God. 

This is the best and worst day of your life and you’re barely experiencing it. 

You manage to garner some control, and only some because the spirit is most likely cooking in your body, but all you manage is the stupidest giggle from your lips. 

You hadn’t even realised how close he was. 

You’re delicious like this. 

He can’t be telling the truth.

You can’t believe it. 

You watch him get up, and you, wherever you are inside your head, feel a pang of disappointment in your stomach. 

“You should get to a medic,” he says softly. “Come.” 

If you were really in your body, you’re sure you would’ve swooned and quite possibly died right there on the spot.

For a moment, you’re sure that’s what the spirit inside you is trying to do. Your body teeters over and you stare at his shoes. 

Your arms jut out to either side of the bench, but you don’t stand. You witness your legs shaking and weakened ankles. 

You’re worried you’re actually going to throw up onto his shoes.

What escapes your mouth instead is a, “General…” in the most pathetic whine you’ve ever heard in your life. And it’s in your voice, to make matters worse.

You feel yourself grimacing internally. 

General Jing Yuan quickly sits back down on the bench to steady you. You can hear him speaking, and he sounds concerned, but you can’t make out his words clearly. 

“Gen–” 

You feel dizzy inside your own head.

Yep. Heart attack. Definitely. 

At least you’ll die in this man’s arms. 

But, no. You don’t die. Not there. 

General Jing Yuan’s face is a blur in your vision, and his gloved hands are resting on both cheeks, still burning hot to the touch. 

Oh, you can still smell the cinnamon from his hair. So soft and subtle like it’s been dusted onto a nice scoop of ice cream. 

If you were here, and properly here, you would have sprung from the seat and taken off running. 

But, it’s not really you, and so your lips meet his hurriedly. You can’t see much because your eyes have shut, but for whatever reason you can feel, and there’s excitement that grows in your stomach in a pool of humiliation when his lips move against yours.

Your fingers bury into his hair. Soft. So soft. You wish you could cherish the feeling normally, within your own skin and body, and truly feel his warmth as your own. 

Your lips are hot on his, and you feel his lashes flutter closed upon your cheek like a gentle kiss and swoop. His tongue tastes suspiciously of tanghulu, but that only drives you further into him. 

This is embarrassingly addicting. 

Your fingers decide to tangle themselves within his hair. Daringly, they venture further towards the silk red ribbon and dance around stray strands that had fallen free. You desperately want to pull at the silk and watch his hair fall to his shoulders, but you aren’t sure if your limbs are yours. 

His hands are so warm by your hips. And they’re so big, and you feel the bumps of the callouses along his palms and it makes your bones jitter apprehensively. 

You’re way too into this, but if you’re bound to be fired over it, you’d consider this worth it. 

The General seems to be enjoying it—and he is. He hums pleasantly against your lips, and his thighs are slipping further and further beneath yours as you pull yourself closer and closer. His grip is firm; not enough to hurt, but enough to placate you. It’s nice. He’s nice. 

It’d be even nicer if there wasn’t something screaming in the back of your head. You’re not sure if it’s you, or the spirit, or some other worldly being like your alter-ego, but whoever is in control of your body chooses to ignore it. 

Fever be damned, your arms swing around his neck. Your skin feels as though it’s melting against his, like hot wax dripping from a burning candlewick. Your chest presses flush against his, and you can feel a steadily racing heartbeat against your own. Warm and fluttering—not as quick as yours. You’re sure any quicker and it’s going to explode—but quick enough to notice, like a fast drumbeat. 

There’s a cold hand that glides along the centre of your back. 

You presume it to be his, but something kicks in your stomach when you remember one of his hand locks on your hip bone, and the other has travelled low enough to press gently against the expanse of skin just below your navel. 

You want it to travel lower. You bury the thought in the back of your head. 

The spirit breaks through, you think. You’re suddenly floating again, and maybe there’s panic there, because you can just feel, in the fleeting moments where you’re shut out again, that your body twists in his hold. 

From what you can tell, General Jing Yuan keeps you in his arms, and your lips against his. 

It’s cold. 

Whoever stands behind you must be blowing icy winds directly on your back, because you feel yourself shivering.

And then, you choke. 

Something firm pulls. Not on you, not on your hair, but something inside of you, and it almost hurts. It feels like a part of you is being torn directly from your racing heart, and surging cold fires into your veins.

It’s like ice crystallises into your blood and blocks your arteries, but the sensation is pulling and pulling and you’re growing breathless. 

That’s you in your body. You feel it. You’re kicking yourself for it, but you’re trying to fight in the General’s hold. You’re trying to turn around, to fight the shadows of four figures you can now see casted on the street. 

General Jing Yuan, still, presses firmer against you, and his hands have abandoned your hips to hold your face gently. It’s comforting, and you’re melting, but all the while, the sensation is growing worse behind you. 

You’re worried when you hear a snap, as if they’ve just reached forward and broken your spine into two.

Then, there’s one final tug, and you’re breathless. 

You drop fully into the General’s embrace. He’s less sucking your face off now, and more placing calculated soft kisses against your lips every few seconds. 

You feel boneless, like you’ve had your very own soul snatched from your body. 

But then, you blink slowly. And you realise you’re in your own body again. 

“Huzzah!” 

General Jing Yuan whispers assurances against your lips, and you only find the strength to hum in response. As he makes you even dizzier when his lips trail along the corner of your mouth, you test the strength in your hands.

You can barely make a fist, but it’s you curling your fingers into your palm. It’s surreal, but it’s you, and only you. 

There’s a girl's voice from behind you, and the iridescence of something a sickeningly familiar green and yellowish iridescence that reflects onto the concrete like water. 

“Alright! That’s another one down! Pats on the backs for everyone! Thanks for the help, General– oh.” 

Another voice chimes in. “Should we look away?” 

“This is amazing. Like watching a car crash,” a third says. 

The fourth sounds irrevocably terrified. “I think I’m going to vomit.”

There’s embarrassment there, but you only giggle against the General’s lips. You’re still exhausted, and you’re sure despite the outfit the spirit had dressed you in that you appear like a walking corpse. Especially in comparison to the General, but, if he’s into that you’ll take it. 

You later learn from the four that had practically violated you that you were possessed by something called a Heliobus. Sounded very not intimidating, especially when the smaller one with the ears had shown the spirit to you while it was trapped in a cage. 

You recognised one of them as Sushang, the busy little Cloud Knight girl. The third was a nameless Trailblazer from the Astral Express that had given you a fist bump for not passing out during the literal exorcism that they put you through.

Then, there was Guinaifen, who had accidentally live streamed the entire ordeal on her phone. 

All of it. 

You weren’t fired, no. But, The Master Diviner was furious, but more so at the General for his lack of professionalism and, well… ramming his tongue down your throat. 

General Jing Yuan, was, to say the least, very excited when you returned to work. 

You’d tried to ignore the entire thing. There were people offering you weird stares on the street, and the workplace was no different. You kept to yourself mostly, only picking up where you’d left off last week. 

And you were relieved you weren’t stumbling home and throwing up in the tub anymore. That had definitely been a week. 

You’re busy trying to finish off with editing official documents when a hand rests on your shoulder. 

You almost spring from your seat when you lock eyes with the General. Again. You almost smash your hand through the computer screen when anxiety riddles your bones. 

That’d leave a permanent scar. The General had been so kind to make sure your hand was patched up from when you’d shattered your mirror.

“General,” you greet quietly. “Good morning.” 

He smiles. “Just Jing Yuan, if you please.” He leans against the side of your desk. “It’s almost time for morning tea, so… I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me for a walk now.” 

You glance down at your screen. 

‘Morning tea’ was quite literally thirty minutes away.

You look back up at him. “Right now?” 

“Fresh air wouldn’t hurt.” 

“Sir, I’m already on thin ice as it is. Madame Fu will–” 

General Jing Yuan politely waves you off. “Everything will be taken care of for you. I’ll see to it myself.” 

You bite down on the inside of your cheeks.

Well. 

Slowly, and with uncertainty, you stand and dust off your pants. There’s a dumb grin on your lips. “General, I’m starting to think you might be flirting.” 

General Jing Yuan leans just barely closer to you and narrows his eyes playfully. 

You almost died. Still, though your voice wavers, you ask, “I hope you haven’t been thinking of me.” But you do hope. You really do. 

You reach down to turn off your computer screen, but you blindly feel around for the button, because you’re afraid if you look away he’ll disappear. 

He seems to understand. He tilts his head. “Maybe I have.” Then, he offers you his hand. “Come. We’ll walk and talk.” 

So, you go with him, and your heart almost leaps out of your chest when he only barely sighs in relief. 

(Madame Fu watches you both leave, twenty-seven minutes before everyone is scheduled on a fifteen minute break. 

She, at first, decides she’ll stop you both at the door, but it has been quite a while since General Jing Yuan has worn a genuine smile on his face. 

With a heavy sigh from her lips, she lets it go. 

But only for today). 

STOPLIGHTS !

── ♡ BLADE, JING YUAN, AVENTURINE

❝ their red flags, beige flags and green flags in a relationship. but in the form of stoplights. ❞

BLADE !

RED LIGHT:

○ He can’t tell you he loves you. Those three little words are locked away with the key long gone. If you are someone who thrives off verbal affection, the biggest favour you can do for yourself is to turn around while you can.

○ Possessive, but in a hot-and-cold way. He gives no indication he’s enjoying your company when you are there, but when you leave he’s trailing after you and ruining any other social interaction you have with resting scowl. Tying back to the first point, even if you ask him about this, getting an answer from him is like pulling teeth. He’d just turn it back on you and ask what you expect him to do. You can’t tell if he’s purposefully being obtuse or not.

○ He’s surprisingly good at giving insightful advice, just at the cost of terrible delivery. If you’re someone who reads into tone a lot, you’d find your feelings hurt many times, even if he only means well. He doesn’t entertain letting you wallow in self-pity and can come off as apathetic to strong emotions.

YELLOW LIGHT:

○ If you guys go out, and you find something cute and show it to him, he’ll just give you a heavy stare and tell you it's not a necessary purchase. It brings a small blow to your mood, but you get over it quickly. By the end of the day, however, when you are unloading your shopping, you find the item tucked neatly inside a gift bag. He does it all the time. He doesn’t hesitate to criticise something before getting you it anyway.

○ He wants you to be safe, and he doesn’t just mean in combat. He wants to keep you away from the anger that lurks in him. The ghosts, the demons, the vengeance. Hence, he won’t enlighten you in all that troubles him. He will pull a curtain over your eyes, just so you aren’t burdened with the pain he’s inflicted upon himself. Even when you just want him to open up, he wants to preserve your innocence as long as he’s able.

○ He always lets you pick the movie, but he has a blank face no matter what genre you are watching. Comedy? Not a laugh. Horror? Not even a flinch. Drama? Not even a gasp of surprise. It gets super awkward being the only one actively reacting to the movie, but he’ll still wait long after the movie is over just to listen to what praises and criticism you have for it.

GREEN LIGHT:

○ Surprisingly talented at a lot of things. He’s a good cook, a diligent cleaner, and also really good at price gouging at the supermarket, somehow? You aren’t sure where this domestic prowess comes from, but you aren’t complaining. Your shared quarters are clean, and your meals are delicious.

○ He’s protective, but he also trusts you. When it comes to missions, shared or not, he doesn’t utter any complaints about your involvement and treats you with the same level of regard as his co-workers. However, when there is a battle and he knows the fight is a tough one for you, he doesn’t hesitate to keep you away from harm and direct the enemy attacks to himself.

○ He’s weak to your whims. Even when your wants go against his line of logic, he still complies because very little brings a spark to him like your happiness. Do you want to go out on a late-night drive despite it being midnight? He’ll only ask you if you know what the time is, not in a leering way, but just to ask if you are sure. When you nod, you both are already on the road, and you won’t hear a word of complaint from him.

JING YUAN !

RED LIGHT:

○ He loves you, but his duty comes first. Even when he gives off the impression of being laid-back with his work, he’s meticulous and he’ll skip dates you’ve planned for weeks if there are meetings he has to attend to or issues that need his precedence. Even if he does appear apologetic, it’s easy for you to tell where your importance ranks for him. Nobody ever likes being in second place.

○ He is stuck in the past, and you can see it in his eyes. When you both stroll the gardens, he’ll point out things he once did here with others, though he always makes sure to redact their names. It’s not difficult for you to piece together who exactly he’s referring to, but it doesn’t lessen the pain. You sometimes think he’ll only come to appreciate his time with you when he loses you.

○ Avoids confrontation like the plague. He hates arguing with you, and he wants to keep maintaining the peace between the both of you. He fails to realise that sometimes, it takes conflict to achieve peace, so when you both disagree, he is quick to double down and agree with you as soon as it looks like the banter is going to escalate. Unless it’s something unforgivable, he hardly puts his foot down with you and it makes you feel like you’re communicating with a bricked wall with kind eyes.

YELLOW LIGHT:

○ He is nosy, and he’s shameless about it. Your business is his business, and he’ll hear you out on anything, from gossip to more serious things that trouble you. However, when he realises you’re troubled but doesn’t immediately come to him because you want to figure it out on your own, he takes personal offence. He’s a great person to talk to, but sometimes the notion of privacy escapes him.

○ He makes corny jokes. Classical dad jokes to awkward puns that usually make anyone wince. You and Yanqing are usually the victims of it, but it always comes from his attempt to lighten the mood. Even if you are someone who hates those jokes, they rub off on you quickly.

○ He is always thinking, even during moments when he should put his mind at ease. It could range from serious things, like the political situation of the Xianzhou, to more domestic concerns like what he should get you for your upcoming anniversary. It’s flattering you are always floating around in his mind, but sometimes you just want him to lie in your arms and breathe with you.

GREEN LIGHT:

○ Overly generous. You both can pass by a shop window and your eyes linger on something for more than two seconds. Suddenly, he’s disappeared from your side and has already purchased it for you. He was much more zealous with it at the beginning of your relationship, but he calms down when you assure him you don’t need to own everything that enters your field of vision.

○ He monopolises your affections. When he comes back home, he’s quick to unwind in the form of your touch. Whether it’s kisses pressed to every inch of skin, or him simply laying his head on your thighs, you are utterly his when the doors are closed.

○ He’s good with kids. From his years of looking out for Yanqing to his naturally kind and empathetic disposition, he’s so gentle and attentive towards children. Despite his reputation as an esteemed general, lots of Xianzhou kids are quick to clamber for his attention as he passes them by. Even when busy, he takes a sparing few moments to watch them show off their training with wooden swords or new pottery they crafted with their bare hands. He’ll praise them, and happily ignore his advisors nervously urging him to hurry up. Every time you see him like this, even if having a family is not one of your desires, you can feel yourself falling in love all over again with his genuine devotion to protecting their innocence.

AVENTURINE !

RED LIGHT:

○ Even when you both are in an established relationship, he still likes testing you. He knows he cares about you, more than he’s done for anyone in a long time, but he can’t help his instinctive nature to wait with a halted breath for a knife to press against his back. He baits you, passively and you almost don’t recognise it until he gives you that look you’ve seen on him many times at the casino. When he’s analysing. When he’s thinking. When he’s waiting for the moment you will crack. It hurts you, that he’s playing mind games with you as if you were his enemy. There has to be a full-blown fight where he’s confronted with the idea of losing you forever does he apologise and try to change.

○ He’s an instinctive liar, even for things that don’t need to be lied about. You could ask him about his plans for the day, and he’ll instinctively tell you a fib even if it’s just a meeting with IPC members that isn’t even confidential. He feels guilty when you just hum and tell him to have a good day, but it’s too late to take back his lie. He tries to be better, but he’s spent so long concealing his intentions and hiding his cards that he doesn’t know how to be upfront with it.

○ He scares you, not in the way he’d ever hurt you or purposefully cause you pain. He’s just too reckless, betting his life over and over again, and it terrifies you every time you watch him place his bets. You’ve hated accompanying him to casinos and IPC meetings because of it, even when he assures you luck is on his side. Yet, you love him and love will lead you to watch him take these risks, as if it’s the least you owe to him. From the sidelines, you’re the only one who can see the tremble in his hands.

YELLOW LIGHT:

○ He talks during movies, but at least he always has something funny to say. While it kills the suspense of certain scenes, sometimes, it still brings you to laughter to hear his exaggerated criticism or quick-witted remarks.

○ He brings home strays. It’s an unexpected habit of his, but he’ll sometimes come home with abandoned animals or creatures. You wonder if it’s out of pity or empathy, but regardless it’s a look into the kinder and sweeter side of Aventurine. However, it’s not always pleasant waking up to a crushing weight on you from a cat that Aventurine had decided to overfeed.

○ He decorates your space like it's his own. You’ll sometimes come home to things in your study/bedroom that didn’t belong before like a new vase or glass paperweight. Granted, he usually considers your taste before buying anything, but other times it looks so striking and prominent in the room. It can be a little irritating at first, especially when you’ve decorated with a theme in mind, but there is also something oddly touching about how he insists on leaving his presence behind even when he’s not here.

GREEN LIGHT:

○ His money is your money, is a principle he quickly adopted into your relationship. You have your suspicions it’s his way of making up for all the times his line of work has troubled you. While you can’t say you’re happy with the circumstances, you’d also be a liar if you said there isn’t something sweet about the way he’s so happy with spoiling you, watching your reactions to his lavish presents with a genuine smile of his own.

○ He has a strict routine of messaging you good morning and goodnight. If you guys don’t share a living space, or your routines are different, he always makes sure to send you his greetings and wishes to you as soon as you start and end your day. Even when you both are mad at each other, he’ll still message to tell you he loves you and to have a good night, because he can’t stand the idea of you going to bed ever doubting his affection.

○ He stumbles sometimes. While he’s the one who usually doles out the flirting, the suave moves. However, you like to catch him off his guard sometimes and his unfiltered reactions are just so adorable. The tinge of pink in his cheeks and the slight widening of his eyes before he attempts to laugh off his stammer, you can see the part of him that adores your attention. Truly, there is no man like Aventurine.

I'M A COWBOY ON MY OWN TRIP

── ♡ BOOTHILL

❝ the road of a galaxy ranger is a lonely one. fortunately, boothill would never leave you be. ❞

Boothill is impossibly hard to get a hold of, and you consider that the next time he shows up for his maintenance, you’ll plant a GPS on him.

The unofficial Galaxy Ranger and ex-robotic scientist that you are, Boothill had become your personal project. His maintenance, upgrading his body and enhancing his current weaponry have been your turf, something you took keen delight in that you’ll never speak to the word, lest Boothill catches wind and stops paying mind to your complaints.

His entrance is always predictable. With a kick to your door, you will scoff, and he’ll stroll in with a damaged component or two that you’ll have to fix. When your door opens with a creak instead, you feel a chill run through your spine and you are already out of your desk chair by the time he stumbles in. Something heavy lodges in your throat when you catch your first sight of him, a mess of stray wires and missing metal, his prosthetics wrapped around his steel torso to try and keep his wiring and sensors from spilling out. His eyes are dull when he looks at you, missing his usual toothy grin. You run and grab him before he can collapse to the ground, ushering him to the medical bed you found in an abandoned hospital, treating it like an exam table.

“What happened to you?” You stress, and you gently move his arm out of the way to assess the damage. You examined the more critical damage first, where some cords were snapped clean. You believe Boothill to be extremely lucky that it wasn’t the one connecting him to his artificial heart. Metal was easy to replace, rewiring was not and if the component keeping him functioning stopped working, there was no way you could revive him again. Your teeth catch the bottom of your lip at the thought.

“Sorry, I got all banged up, Doc,” It’s the first time he’s ever apologised to you for coming to your workshop for fixing. It’s also the first time he’s ever been such a wreck, so you decide to ignore the semantics and shake your head.

“How did it happen?” You interrogate, lifting one of his legs that had a gaping hole in the middle. At your delicate touch, his ankle suddenly detached and you wince instinctively.

“They opened fire suddenly, fudging scum,” He spits out in hatred, and despite his visible exhaustion before, his eyes light up at the memory. “They were blasting away while there were kids there.”

You don’t inquire about the safety of the children. Boothill is one of the most skilled rangers you know, and even if an entire armed military began a shoot-out, he’d find a way to evade it. With the amount of bullet holes in his body, he definitely used himself as a human shield and the thought makes you purse your lips. From the long years since you’ve met him, you were quick to find out that Boothill had very few weaknesses, but one of them was definitely children. You aren’t sure why, and you don’t know if you’ll ever know. Hopes, dreams and history aren’t things discussed between rangers. Even your mutually beneficial relationship with him is a rarity amongst the group. Yet, there is a mutual understanding. Things that went unspoken and what made you guys so in sync in the first place. So, you break off his unrecoverable attachments and continue with what you have to do. Both of you speak nothing as you begin shifting through your cabinets of prosthetic parts, labelled under ‘Boothill’. Usually, he is all chatter when he stops by, either badgering you to finally fix his Synthessia Beacon he utterly despises (and you kept intact out of pettiness), or striking up a conversation about whatever he uncovered during his solo missions. You don’t blame his quiet solemness today, but it doesn’t make it any less unnerving, like the silence isn’t meant to be here. You were the first to break it.

“You’re lucky my shipment for spares arrived in time,” You state, walking over to him. By ‘shipment’ you meant whatever passing rangers happened to drop off at your doorstep after successful thefts at IPC warehouses. It’s laughable for you to think of IPC packages arriving at your doorstep in the middle of nowhere, a mailman ready for you to sign the papers.

“Lucky me,” He drawls out sarcastically, and you take a moment to flick his forehead. “What the fudge, Doc!”

You ignore his annoyed exclamation, hiding your growing smile behind hunched shoulders as you begin screwing on his replacement ankles.

“I can fix, some of the more critical parts,” You gesture vaguely to his legs. “But the rewiring is the real issue here. Luckily, I’ve sanitised the tubes already.”

He stiffens for a moment, his eyes unfocused as he looks up at you with furrowed eyebrows and a frown.

“You’re putting me to sleep?” He asks, void of his usual attitude and you hesitate. You knew Boothill hated being forcibly rebooted and put to sleep. You aren’t sure what he dreams of, but whenever it’s over he’ll keep his gaze away from you, and reels at your every attempt to approach him, even for a checkup. You sympathised with him, and you’ve grown to hate it as much as he did. Unfortunately, right now it’s necessary. With his mainstream wiring damaged beyond repair, you need to replace them and you can’t have him awake during the process and potentially damage the framework.

“I’m sorry,” You mean it but he looks as if he couldn’t hear you, his eyes now fixed on a random oil stain on the floor.

“Be fast with it, ‘kay?” He mumbles and you nod. You reach over and trace the synthetic skin of his neck, where the bumps of his skin reveal his power button. You’ve already memorised just about every inch of his body from all the times you’ve spent with him, working on him. Yet, you take the selfish moment to let your gloved fingers caress the spot, almost in a lover’s embrace. He’s looking at you the entire time and finally your eyes meet his. There is a moment’s breath of a pause before he flashes you a toothy smile and you swiftly press the button. The corners of his lips drop in an instant, his eyelids falling shut and his body going limp. He’ll never know how the sight of him like this made you want to throw up yourself. You aren’t sure what happened to you, ever since the damn bandit came into your life and the path you had planned for yourself suddenly became tainted with sporadic visits and bellied laughter from a scratchy voice. You used to be colder. It’s what being a calculating scientist made you. Yet, Boothill, his justice that he goes on about, they all muddled your senses to the point that the idea of him being taken from you in one irreversible swoop made bile rise to your throat. He’ll never know those, because you need him to maintain his image of you; a cool-headed robotician whose nerves he always manages to get on.

You carry his unmoving figure over your shoulder and you don’t register your body’s complaints of his weight. There were things more painful than this, you think as you zip him into one of the prepared tubes. As preserving liquid fills the metal cylinder, you catch your image in the reflective glass. Have you always been this tired?

Another two months go by when you next see Boothill.

His last visit, which had been a critical one, had finished with little commotion. After reprogramming his hardware and forging the rest of his broken pieces, he was back in prime shape and left with nothing more than a “thanks”. His radio silence almost made you wonder if he resented you for his forced shutdown, and you try not to pay it much thought as you busy yourself with any unfinished project you could get your hands on.

That is, until an uneventful afternoon when your door is kicked open and you sit up with your first instinct to yell your complaints. Boothill strides in and your striking words dispel before they leave your lips.

“Oh,” You can only reply dumbly, and his grin somehow widens.

“Knew you’d be holed up in here, Doc,” He dares to sass, resting a hand on his hip as he surveys the packaged food on your desk, and the bags under your eyes. You click your teeth.

“Broke something again?” You wearily ask him, plopping yourself back into your spinning chair and giving him a quick scan.

“Do I gotta be broken to visit?” He poses it as a question but doesn’t listen to your answer as he drops himself onto your springy couch, feet kicked up like the ill-mannered guest he is.

“I don’t have time to waste on you,” You scoff, rolling your eyes as you turn back to the radio you had been taking apart.

“I got food.”

You asked him if he wanted something to drink.

For a man who couldn’t get drunk, Boothill adored his alcohol. You think he rides off the placebo effect of drinking, but choose not to comment since he’s finally decided to stop being so hot-and-cold with you and instead animatedly reciting his encounter with The Swarm.

“Most annoyin’ fudgin’ shirtbags I’ve had ta’ fight,” He snarls, before downing the rest of the bottle in his hand. It’s his third one. “Kept on multiplying no matter how many holes I put in ‘em.”

Despite your off-record status as a Galaxy Ranger, your areas of expertise stayed within the confines of machinery and weapons, with you never having even touched a gun in your life. From the stories, you couldn’t have been more grateful for the fact.

“How fast do you think they regenerate?” You question, resting your chin on the palm of your hand. He thinks.

“Around every few seconds,” He answers and raises a brow at you. “Why?”

“For next time,” You uncross your legs. “If I can increase the speed of your reloading, you can probably kill them before they have the chance to regenerate back.”

Usually, your new ideas for him would be met with enthusiasm, whereby he’d test his limits by suggesting his own upgrades which you’d either agree to or shut down. Much to your surprise, he tilts his head back and lets out a low groan.

“Seriously, all you got is work in that noggin’ of yours,” He comments, giving you a flat look and you splutter immediately in defence.

“But you are talking about work, too!” You retort and he laughs loudly, leaning on the backrest of the couch as if he knows something you don’t.

“I’m telling ya’ something about myself. Now you gotta too,” He explains and it gives you pause, turning your head to stare at him with incredulity.

“What is this, twenty questions?” You joke but he shrugs nonchalantly.

“Sure.”

“I think I’m a pretty open book,” Your gesture vaguely around your small and unkempt home shrouded in darkness with nothing but the straining blue light of your computer. “This is my whole life, right in front of you.”

“It ain’t,” He refutes immediately and you frown at him, not sure what’s going on with him tonight. “Unless you tellin’ me you’ve lived like this since you were born, then it ain’t your whole darn life.”

It’s the invitation you’ve always secretly prayed for. That someone will look at your dishevelled self and the mess you lie in, and say you were more than that. Boothill, of all people, is giving you the chance. Yet, your hands feel clammy as you press them together and suddenly the cyborg beside you is hard to look at.

“Why would it matter?” You ask him sincerely, missing your usual condescension. There is a brief silence before he continues.

“‘Cause I feel like it does,” He confesses, voice dropping lower as if he’s speaking into the world something only you and he should know of. “‘Cause I’ve been thinkin’ of how ya’ keep savin’ my behind, and how fudgin’ weird it is I don’t know anythin’ about ya’.”

You look at him, really look at him, and he meets you back with a defiant stare of your own. For a second, something crosses his eyes and you lose instantly, sucking in a sharp breath.

“You will think of me less.”

“Not possible,” He instantly hits back.

You fall back onto the uncomfortable scratchy fabric of your sofa, and your stare meets your dull, tilled ceiling. You reminisce about when grey was replaced with expensively painted beige, and the seat underneath you used to be a mahogany brown chair. In front of you had been a projection board, equations scribbled hastily across the screen. Your graded test paper sits in your book bag, perfect mark as usual. You think back to how far you’ve fallen from grace.

“Okay,” You say, “And you’ll tell me about yourself too. No enemies, no battles, just you.”

Something crosses his expression, but he agrees anyway. You will learn of his vendetta, of his anger and grief, of the daughter he never could have seen grow up. He will learn of you as Icarus, the one who reached too close to the sun and condemned themself to the ground. After the drinks have finished pouring, he will leave as if nothing had happened, announcing the next date for his visit. There is a silent agreement in the air that night.

You both were not good at living. And you have officially breached the line of co-workers.

from the gaps

── ♡ BLADE

❝ you'll admire him from this distance, even if he doesn't care. even if he doesn't want you to. ❞

for @prtgasluv ♡

Blade is the only man you know who can sit at a luxurious bar lounge with heavy shoulders and crossed arms.

From where you sat on plush red seats, painted under romantic golden hues, you can see the clench of his jaw and the tenseness of his muscles under his formal suit. This is not your first infiltration mission, having become your area of expertise over the years as a Stellaron Hunter. However, it’s your first time being ordered to bar any disguises. The reasoning behind Elio’s scripts hardly makes sense in the present moment, but they always fall into place later. Hence, you coincide when you were informed to discard your usual espionage tools in favour of fancy dressing and minimal makeup. You were grateful for Blade’s presence, at the very least. In case of events going south, he was your safety net in escape.

It is after observing the party attendees that it dawns on you why Elio didn’t insist on any drastic costumes. It is a small-scale event by sponsors of the IPC’s newest project. Sheltered, adult children of esteemed figures who were clouded in a drunken haze and completely unaware of the infamous faces attached to wanted posters on the streets. The scenario is a goldmine for you.

Beside you, you notice Balde’s vermillion gaze fall on the side of your head, and while the neutral frown on his face doesn’t fall, you know from his hardened stare that he is questioning your inactivity. You lean closer to his side when a pair of businessmen pass by you, and you stretch forward to speak in a hushed tone.

“Sorry,” You say, “I just needed some time to look at what I’m working with.”

The most crucial and taxing part of your line of work is observation. Their behaviours, their clothing, and what drinks they hold in their hand for the night are all essential to the personal profile you build of them. It’s how you’re clued in on what angle to approach them from. As you scan the room, your eyes land on a man. He wore a white suit, flashy and not entirely appropriate in the sea of black and blues. He has a small crowd formed around him, and you don’t find yourself surprised. Despite his… overwhelming confidence, he had a charming face and his smile was kind as he seemingly preached to his mini-entourage. With how animated his movements are, you can gauge that likes the sound of his own voice, and that finalises your decision.

“I’ll be back,” Is all you whisper to Blade, who merely raises a brow in response. You pick at any invisible dust from your outfit, before sauntering over in the direction of the mystery man. He doesn’t notice you at first, which works to your benefit as you manage to fit yourself into the group of people passionately listening to what he says. He seemed to be recounting a recent journey to the Edo Star, describing his experience with dramatic pauses as those listening in “oohed” and “aahed”. It’s a bit obnoxious, but you won’t deny the charm he has. He seemed to be a vivacious and humourful person, a rarity amongst a crowd so used to stifling formalities. Handsome to boot too. Yet, your type seemed to align with the exact opposite.

Unconsciously, your turn to spare a glance at Blade, only to find him missing from where you last were. You feel something uncomfortable swirl in the pits of your stomach, but you force your worry away. Blade is a grown man, who can move around whenever he wants. If you both were in danger, he wouldn’t have left without you. You force your attention back to your target ahead. His story seemed to be reaching its conclusion, and you make sure to make the occasional noise in surprise and amazement, louder than the rest of the crowd. You had to grab his interest before he could continue on another story. He finishes off with flair, sending the audience into chatter and comments. It’s your cue.

“What a time you’ve had. I’ve been to Edo Star as well,” You almost shove your way past the front line of people, hands exaggeratedly clasped together. At your words, bluebell eyes meet yours and a pleased smile dons his face.

“Have you, now? It’s such a beautiful place. I almost regret not being born there,” He takes the bait, inciting conversation and you ignore the stares at your back as you move forward. Limiting the physical distance will make the conversation seem one-on-one, drawing away the attention of prying ears. Over the years of studying human behaviour, one thing that remains factual is that humans power on such instinctive little behaviours. Nobody would even realise what you’re trying to achieve here.

“I feel the same way. Of course, I love my hometown but Edo Star can’t be beat when it comes to its ballads.”

“Absolutely! Have you perhaps heard of the classic Idle Sun?”

You nod enthusiastically to his quips, batting your eyes at him as you watch his ego practically inflate under your attention. It’s not long before the conversation has drifted from Edo Star, and the lounge. You manage to move him to the bar counter, and you bite back your smile when you see his drinks pouring in while he broaches on his line of work. You later learn his name is Bartholomew, and his father runs a global business that functions in close relations with the IPC.

“My father,” His words begin to slur, “Keeps hiding his work from me. Even though I’m the heir to our company, he doesn’t allow me to attend any of the meetings. How can he expect me to take over if I do not know the business!”

You sympathetically nod along, dropping a comment about how unfair the situation is to him. He perks up at your affirmation, continuing as his voice picks up a pitch.

“Well, he doesn’t know that I eavesdropped on his last meeting with the IPC,” His voice drops to a hushed whisper and you have to reel in your excitement as you lean closer to hear, your elbow grazing his. He opens his mouth, but immediately closes it and that’s when you notice that he’s not looking at you, but past your shoulder. Confused, you turn only to find Blade standing a few feet away. His arms are crossed in his usual position, and his jaw is set.

Blade is not a man made to be understood, but you like to believe that your doomed affection for him helps you pick up on his subtle behaviours. While all seems normal, he is missing his usual blank stare. His ruby eyes, normally dulled, have a gleam to them that you can’t decipher. Beside you, the young man purses his lips.

“Do you know him?” He asks you and you aren’t sure who you are more annoyed at; Blade for unabashedly blowing your cover, or your target who is still painfully observant despite the amount of drinks on him. Before you can conjure up an excuse, a melody breaks the tense atmosphere and the room is caught up by the orchestra stationed at centre stage.

“Oh, a dance,” You point out with a weak laugh. There is a pregnant pause before Bartholomew extends his hand. With a second’s worth of apprehension and a distracted glance at Blade, you take his offer and allow yourself to be pulled into the consonance of the music. Maybe after this dance, you can still recover your chances of sleuthing more information from him later. Thus, you tolerate his hand in yours as you disinterestedly sway to his movement. Thankfully, your dance partner hasn’t picked up on your ambivalence, his attention diverting from you to the orchestra and to another pretty lady at the lounge. If this had been a real date, you would have abandoned the ship by now.

There is a sudden shift Bartholomew freezes as if he had been shocked. At his sudden jerk, you almost trip on your feet, but recover only to find Blade behind him, a heavy hand on his shoulder and a look of deep disinterest marring his features.

"I believe it’s my dance,” Simple words are matched with a frosty tone, and you’ve only heard Blade speak like this to his adversaries. Bartholomew’s face goes pale before his cheeks flush a tinge of pink, as if caught in a compromising position.

“M-my apologies,” He stammers, unlike his usual demeanour, “I hadn’t realised you were already courted.”

What?

Before you can recover from your surprise, Bartholomew has already rushed away from the dance floor, successfully making his escape through the sea of bodies. You watch his disappearing back with wide eyes before you sharply turn to Blade who looks on as if he’s completely uninvolved from the scene.

“What the hell was that?” You splutter indignantly, but further complaints die at your throat when he takes your hand, pulling you close to him as his other falls on your lower back. You think you stopped breathing when he leans in close, his nose almost grazing your neck as he harshly mutters in your ear.

“Silence. You are drawing attention,” In this position, an outsider would think it’s a passionate embrace between two lovers. In reality, you feel like ice has been poured on you from the suddenness of it all. What reason would he have interfering with your mission, ones you’ve been doing almost your entire life? A hopeless part of you entertains the idea that perhaps there is a deeper meaning to Blade’s sudden intervention. That his stalking around, that his glare, that his distaste towards Bartholomew could have been jealousy. It felt like a small spark of hope, but your focus landed on the new presence of a guard and commander in the room, wandering around the lounge and speaking to different people. Blade didn’t intervene because he was jealous. He was attempting to warn you. You felt so small and insignificant in his arms.

“We have to get out before they reach here,” You hiss, refusing to meet his eyes in case he notices the tremble of your lower lip. He doesn’t respond and you let the gears in your head turn as you subtly look around the room. You spy an elevator a little ways away, the path leading towards it wide-open. It’d be an effective, temporary escape, but the guards on patrol would notice conspicuous people attempting to leave the lower floor. You survey the mass of people around you, finding that if you manage to sneak behind the orchestra, you’d have enough time to be securely inside the elevator before anyone can make chase of the both of you. You repeat your plan to him in a low voice, and he only grumbles in agreement. Suddenly, Blade drifts you closer to the centre of the floor, and you're caught up in the surprise that he knows how to dance. His movements are fluid, almost like second nature and it serves as another reminder that you don’t really know Blade, and there is an abyss that makes up the distance between the both of you. However, you refuse to let your heart be broken in the middle of a critical moment, and you attempt to follow his speed as he cooly weaves between drunken adults.

Just as you inch closer to your agreed escape point, you are suddenly tripped, and you cannot conceal your yelp when you feel Blade’s hand on your back shift to hug around your waist, your upper half tilted closer to the ground. That’s when you realise Blade dipped you, and you only stare up at him incredulously while he rewards you with blank eyes. The longer strands of his hair graze your face and you think if you could reach up just a little more, lips can touch. It feels so intimate, and you can’t understand the pit in your stomach that wanted you to pull him closer, and shove him away. You banish the thought quickly when he finally lifts you back in your standing position and that’s when you take note of the guard who had been eyeing you suspiciously. He must have found it odd that you and Blade were moving around so much and so quickly. Another near save.

You hadn’t realised you’d been gripping Blade’s arm until he shrugs and you sheepishly let go with a mindless apology, but he pays you no mind. With the guard gone, your exit is wide and clear and that’s all it takes for you both to step over, before breaking into a run. You almost crash into the back wall of the elevator while Blade swiftly presses the doors shut, shunning the yells of “It’s them!” and the shocked gasps of the audience. However, by the time they catch the next cart up, you and he would have long since disappeared into the night.

“Such an annoying night,” You begin, breaking the terse silence of the quiet ride up, “All of that and I didn’t get any valuable intel.”

Blade has his back to you, not a word uttered from him and you wonder if he’s even listening to your complaints until he speaks.

“I found all the needed information,” He states simply and you wonder just how many surprises he has in store for you tonight.

“You… do?” You question, suspect. You try to imagine the sight of him wandering around and socialising with people, merrily.

“There was a girl, and she spoke of it. I was passing by,” He keeps his version of events curt, and you sigh in relief that the mission did go as planned, just at the expense of your wasted effort. Your mind wanders to the dance, and the feeling of his strong arms around you. How for that split second, you could his every eyelash and see the colour of his lips. You hide the shaking of your hand behind your back, releasing a puff of air. The bell chimes and the elevator doors slide open, and you both begin swiftly traversing through the empty floor before security has time to catch up.

“Say,” You begin, huffing through the exertion. “Where did you learn to dance like that?”

He does not lose his momentum, but there is a long pause. You’ve come to realise that Blade is someone who likes to take his time before he speaks, thinking carefully over the sparing words he uses. Now, however, the stretch is too long and you begin to worry you have poached a forbidden subject. The syllables of his name leave your lips in concern and he finally replies shortly.

“From someone, a long time ago,” From where you were, you could see his jaw clench and shoulders tighten. “It is not worth remembering.”

You don’t push the conversation further, silently following after Blade with your matching footsteps echoing through the halls. You watch his skin catch the glint of the moonlight from an open window, and you can’t help but think he almost looks like he’s made of porcelain under the shine of the night. Such an odd descriptor for a hardened man like him, but sometimes you feel as if it were possible. That one day if he’s pushed far enough, he too will break. For now, while he is still intact, you admire his beauty and ignore the wild thumping of your heart. You will take what you can from him, even from this distance.

Argenti has really been on the brain as of late…I miss my wife….how do we feel about vampire agrenti//getsranover

love bites! — argenti

summary. argenti would do anything for you, even if that anything went against his own moral code.

notes. i think ANON YOU COOKED. YOUUUU COOKED. YOUUUUUUUU COOKED.

warnings. ehhhh… i’ll give it a 16+, suggestive content, as per usual you’re a freak, but argenti is also a freak so it’s okay, as the ask suggests argenti is a vampire, blood, biting, ummm, yk. vampire stuff. but it’s romantic i think.

You feel the couch dip next to you with added weight, and Argenti rests his head in the crook of your neck.

He has barely just gotten comfortable on the couch when you decide to be a thorn in his side. You grin wryly down at him. “Wanna try it?”

Argenti flutters his lashes in confusion.

You huff. “There’s a reason I wore a low cut shirt, dude.” You gesture towards your neckline.

“Oh!” Suddenly, he looks guilty. “As much as I appreciate your offer, I’m afraid I must decline.” He shakes his head and offers you a kind smile of his own. “I have staved off blood for years. I cannot start now. It would be… very unbecoming of me.”

“But, I want you to,” you try lightly. “And it’s your birthday.”

Birthday. As if his birthdays meant anything anymore. Argenti has had hundreds by now. Still, you always manage to make him feel like the most important man in the universe.

He laughs. “My birthday is two months away.”

“Early present,” you conclude firmly.

Then, you lean forward and wrap your arms around his shoulders. His skin has been bloodless since the day you met him, but there’s something so beautiful about it’s near translucency. It’s iridescently white and brilliant, and it’s like pearl silk when his hair spills over his shoulders.

Speaking of which, his hair smells of cherry and coconut.

Hmm, hmm. He’s used your shampoo—not that you mind. Not at all. He uses it because it is something to remember you by when he leaves for extended voyages. And it’s cute.

“C’mon.” It comes out as a childish droning low whine as you hit his shoulders gently. “I see the way you look at me when I get hurt. It'll be good for you.”

Argenti appears sheepish, though he indulges in your hand that cards over his scalp. His fangs poke from behind his bottom lip.

He glances away for a moment. His eyes have traced down to your neck, and he almost abandons his willpower to taste your skin.

“Just a teensy weensy bit.” You pinch your fingers together for good measure.

“It will not be ‘teensy weensy,’” Argenti explains softly. Although his voice falters for a moment, his hands do not tremble. “I will not be able to stop myself. You have always been tempting.”

“Aww.” You bop him on the shoulder. “You’re worried about me?”

“Well, of course. I do love you.”

Your heart falters. You’re sure he can hear how your blood stutters in your veins. He’s said it those words again—how many times? Almost everyday—and it still manages to fluster you.

How you managed to score this dude was beyond you. Maybe the ‘tempting’ part of you was the friends we made along the way.

You giggle like he’s smacked you over the head with his giant spear and caused a concussion. That’s what it feels like, at least. He makes you feel dizzy, but in a good way, like you’re being spun around and around by a lover when you return home after a long day.

Your fingers are still pinched together. “Just a little bit.”

You see him swallow.

He fidgets with his fingers for a moment.

He’s staring at your jugular, and though he appears apprehensive, there’s something clouding over his gaze.

He can’t say no to you. It goes against all of his moral principles.

“If it will make you happy.” Just a taste. He’s set in his ways, now. He’ll prick your neck, allow your blood to wash over his tongue, and then he’ll pull away.

And he really does love to make you happy.

“Hell yeah, it will.” You press your chest to his. “All yours.”

Oh, goodness. He swallows harder, and his hands that are usually confident with how they move, are suddenly hesitant now that they rest on the sides of your face. His hands are free of his gloves, and though his skin isn’t warm, you enjoy the callouses and marks that rub against your flesh.

Dutifully, you push his hair behind his ears.

You’re jealous of how lovely he is.

“Are you certain this is–”

“Yep.”

His brows knit together. “But this–”

“Argenti.”

He smiles apologetically. “I just want to make sure this is something you want, and not something you are doing for my sake.”

You sigh.

Then, you press your lips to his. You don’t let the taste of him distract you, however—and you know that’s secretly what he’s plotting by how his eyes flutter shut.

Argenti appears disappointed when you pull away.

“I want you to do this.”

Uh oh. You’re in for it now. You know that look.

He wants to. He does. He’s wanted to for a while now. But it is selfish of him to drink the blood from your wounds, so he instead ignores the desire.

Now, he can’t ignore it any longer.

His lips press to your cheek first. Then he moves to your jawline, painstakingly slow, but still considerate with how he dotes upon you. Maybe he’s trying to coax you from making the worst decision of your life. Wouldn’t be the first time.

You hum, pleased.

His nose is cold when he buries his face into the side of your neck where the throbbing arteries lie beneath thin supple skin.

And you smell delicious. He smells every throb of your veins as your heart pumps in your chest; that metallic earthy smell, like soil after the rain, and dew on rose petals.

Suddenly, you grow nervous.

He notices.

He tries to reel back, but you lock a hand behind his head.

Still, he tries, “you’re uncomfortable. I won’t–”

You’re excited. Your legs are jittery. The adrenaline rush is exhilarating, and sugar flows through your veins like hot ash.

Your skin feels set alight. You’re burning to the touch.

The scent of you is too much. He pinches his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to control himself.

“Bite me.” You feel his lips bump against your neck. “C’mon.” He lets out a stuttered gasp against your skin. “Do it.”

His will is not strong enough.

He wets his lips and they then part to allow sharpened canines to dot along the skin above your veins. He knows each and every path beneath your flesh. He knows where danger lies. He understands your fragility, for he was once the same.

He steers clear of the artery, as enticing as it is. It’s wrong; and he could very well hurt you beyond repair.

Your heart stutters when his fangs slice through your skin.

And it hurts. Of course it hurts, and Argenti knows as such. His other hand that is not trying to hold you still rubs along the other side of your throat soothingly. The pinpricks of his teeth are slow and deliberate. Perhaps it would hurt less if he was quick, but the sharpness stirs hot on your flesh anyway.

You try not to voice your anguish. Instead, your fingers curl firmly into his hair.

He lingers with his teeth lodged into your vein.

It’s uncomfortable, especially when you feel something hot and wet trickle from the puncture wounds and slip over his cold teeth, but you’ve never felt so alive.

His teeth pull away with a wet pop and you shiver.

You’re bleeding, rightfully so. It’s not a major wound—he’d never. You knew he’d never—but with how sticky the holes were growing, you would be convinced otherwise.

Gingerly, you felt a warm tongue swipe over the wound.

That hurt, too. You hiss then, and you feel Argenti wince against your skin.

The damage is done.

“I’m fine.” And you are. You’re practically jumping out of your skin. “Keep going.”

After a pause, his tongue cards once again over the fresh blood spilling from the wound. It doesn’t help the fire in your veins when he slots his lips over the punctured skin and begins to suck. The noises are alarming at best, and you can hear him swallowing.

It hurts.

But it’s good.

You stiffen in his hold.

Argenti stops for a moment to pepper sticky kisses over your wound. You’re sure it’s stained in the shape of his lips. Stupidly, you giggle at the idea.

He continues to indulge and he’s slow. Maybe he’s hesitant, or maybe he’s savouring you. You’re not sure.

When you’re sure he’s finished, Argenti’s bloodied teeth scrape lower along your neck until his fangs sink into the junction of your throat and your shoulder. Somehow, it hurts more.

More bloodied kisses that make your skin stiffen. His tongue draws over your flesh again.

Both the wounds are still bleeding when he decides to add another to your body.

This one hurts even more. You can tell because his teeth don’t sink in cleanly. The other side of your throat has that arterial vein you know he wants to get to. You also know he wouldn’t ever. He’s inching dangerously close to it, though.

He’s sucking and sucking and you smell copper in the air and you’re stomach is churning and your neck is covered in blood.

Your hands slacken from around his head.

The fourth puncture wound comes over your shoulder.

Your eyes flutter for a moment.

He’s not stopping.

In fact, he hasn’t even opened his eyes to check on you. He’s way too absorbed in your taste to notice your slackening grip on his shoulders.

His tongue grazes your shoulder.

“Argenti.”

He doesn’t even hear you. You move your hands to push him away, but your arms tremble. You’re growing weaker with every second.

Oh, God. This was a bad idea. You’re good at making those.

You hit his shoulders weakly.

“Argenti.” It comes out strangled and weak.

His teeth pop out of a new wound. He hums.

You’re already dizzy. Weakly, your arms wrap around him and grip loosely onto his clothes.

As sexy as this is, and because you feel like the main character in some cheesy vampire story, the stupid primal urges in your brain to survive shut down the idea of laying there, taking it, and letting him ruin your neck until you fall unconscious.

Argenti finally understands just how strong you smell and is horrified at what he’s done when his eyes finally refocus on you.

He lays you down properly on the couch and rushes to get a first aid kit.

When he comes back, he’s mumbling strings of apologies. He looks forlorn, because he’s betrayed himself, and you.

You don’t think it’s appropriate to comment on how the blood around his mouth is almost enough to make you jump on him. Only issue is you’re not sure your bones can support your weight at the moment.

The alcohol stings as he tends to the punctures, but not as much as his teeth did.

You sigh, but it’s happy.

Argenti looks at you. Guilt is smeared over his face like a thick paste.

“You look just as beautiful as the day I met you,” you murmur to him. Because that day had been a wild day. Not only did a giant man with flaming red hair stop to offer his sincerest compliments on how radiant you were—dressed in flip flops and pyjama pants because you were simply hosing your front lawn—with two squirrels at his feet and five birds resting on his shoulders.

If Argenti could blush, you figure he’d be bright red by now.

Instead, he lets out a shaky laugh. “You flatter me so. I know nothing more enchanting than you.”

The wounds have stopped bleeding now, and he makes sure to clean each one thoroughly. He expresses no concerns about a stitch job. You’re relieved at that one.

Weakly, an arm raises to push his hair behind his ears again.

That alone takes all of the strength out of you.

“You okay?” you ask him.

He looks confused at your question. “Fret not, I have had my fill. It is you who I’m worried about.”

“I feel alive.” It’s partly true. As woozy as you feel, it’s like warm sugar still lingers in your veins. “That was great. I bet you enjoyed it.”

Argenti’s grin turns crooked. “Very much so. Perhaps too much. I’ve hurt you.” His fingers rub over the tender skin surrounding the puncture wounds. “But, you are as sweet as I thought you’d be.”

“I’m so in love with you, dude.” Very appropriate thing to say. Maybe it’s the blood loss. Amazing pet name, too.

Still, Argenti flusters. He clears his throat for a moment and his fingers still around your neck. “Words cannot convey how often I think of you, or better yet how often I long to hold you.”

He behaves as if this is his first confession of many to come.

Oh. Your heart is racing in your chest.

Arms much too tired to move, you instead pucker your lips obnoxiously.

Argenti eagerly leans down to kiss you again. His lips are still bloody, and the scent and taste of metal makes your stomach twist for a moment, but it’s him. It’s him and how gentle he always is—and how can you still be so gentle when you’re enraptured in cutting holes into your partner’s neck? Beats you.

“Still so sweet,” he whispers against your lips. “Is all of you this sweet?”

You kiss his cheek. “Wanna find out?” You’re happy to play pillow princess for an hour.

Argenti smiles at that, but it’s cheeky. His eyes crinkle with mischief as he moves to your lips again.

𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐒𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐍 .ᐟ

first meetings are always the spark to a flame.

ᯓ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 .ᐟ argenti, sunday, boothill, blade, aventurine + jing yuan x fem!reader (separate), feat. march, dan heng, himeko, kafka, madam yukong.

ᯓ 𝐜𝐰 .ᐟ alcohol consumption, mentions of blood/violence, SFW, boy did i have some fun with sunday's one, blade's one is ass but moving on, this took me way too long to write, 6.3k words 💀, idk if this has been done before (probably), rbs are appreciated!! <3

ᯓ ARGENTI .ᐟ

𝐎𝐇 𝐁𝐎𝐘. Never in your life had you been so flustered over a mere compliment—but, really, no one could blame you. Having such a man of unparalleled beauty himself flatter you with flowery words and praises? Not only that, but with the most sincere, earnest expression on his face while he said such things? Falling in love had never been so easy.

“This rose, one possessing such quiet, enrapturing beauty itself, falls pathetically short in comparison to you, my lady,” the knight had remarked silkily, all while presenting said ‘pathetic’ rose to you confidently. He was stooped into a gentlemanly bow, one of his gauntleted hands placed over his armoured chest, those sparkling green eyes of his intense and filled with true candour. “It is like starlight follows your every step, so dazzling and captivating—a sight no person in their right mind would be able to banish from their thoughts.”

“I…” You hadn’t the slightest clue what to say. To be bombarded with such ornate compliments (on a normal day, you’d consider them painfully cheesy) and gazed at with two earnest jade eyes—well. It left you utterly speechless. With only a trembling hand responding to him and reaching out to accept the flower, you flicked a frantic glance in Himeko's direction. But she looked on in great amusement, hiding her giggles behind an elegant hand. This knight should be showering her with compliments here! Himeko’s the gorgeous one! Awkward, baffled silence from your fellow Express members suffocated the atmosphere. Your cheeks were burning. “My goodness, I…I’ve never received such high praise from someone as handsome as yourself before.” Or anyone, for that matter. 

“You have not?” Once you had taken the rose, the knight of beauty, named Argenti, straightened and peered down at you with such a genuinely astonished stare, as if the concept of no one ever having complimented you was completely foreign and bizarre to him. “I do believe that is the most outlandish thing I’ve heard for a very long time. Such a lovely young woman such as yourself, one who I quake at even having the honour of being in the presence of, has never received her due praise? What has this universe come to?”

“I, uh, have no idea.” You twirled the rose gently in your fingers, noting its thornless stem. It smelled very nice, and it was evident the man before you took great care of his (seemingly endless) supply of flowers. “But, thank you very much, Sir Argenti. you have made my day.”

In fact, you wanted to cry from embarrassment and joy at the knight’s abrupt onslaught of lauds for you. You didn’t think yourself worthy. 

And then he did something most unexpected. He took your hand in his large, gauntleted one ever so gently, as if it were a soft, fragile petal of a rose, and placed a gentlemanly kiss to the top of it. You could hear March gasp in shock, and the sound of a phone camera going off. Oh, they’re going to tease me about this for a long, long time. Argenti parted his lips from the top of your hand, but he did not straighten, remaining hovered over it while gazing up at you with two intense green eyes. “Truly, I tell you, it makes my heart soar to know I have, but—will you grant me the honour of keeping me company during my stay?”

“I—I’m sorry?”

Argenti finally stood straight again, but he brought your hand up higher so he could place another peck to the top of it, if need be. “I shall, regrettably, remain aboard this extraordinary train only temporarily. However, if you were to allow me the privilege to befriend you throughout my brief visit here, I would be utterly overjoyed.”

Tongue-tied, you sneaked a glance in March’s direction, and she caught your eye, immediately flailing around and frantically gesturing for you to say yes. Dan Heng stood at her side, his usually aloof, blank expression now showing a rare expression of bewilderment at Argenti’s antics and flowery words toward you, and he nodded along with March. 

Pressing your lips together anxiously, you finally managed a nod. “Sir Argenti, I believe it would, in fact, be my honour to keep you company amid your stop here.”

Happiness brightened the Knight of Beauty’s previously tentative expression, and he pressed another soft kiss to the top of your hand, closing his eyes. “Words could never efficiently suffice to convey the bliss I feel at your affirmation. My lady, how eternally honoured I am to have met you throughout the vast, endless cosmos, where such a beautiful soul as yourself is so hard to come by.”

ᯓ SUNDAY .ᐟ

𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐑 of a man was one you either got off on the right foot with, or you didn’t. There was simply no in between. In contrast, his angel of a sister was much easier to befriend, considering her naturally sweet temperament, but her brother…well, to say the least, you could not stand the man upon your first introduction to him.

It was at a rather illustrious event, one you could only attend because of your own family’s status. The invitations were sent to your father three months ago, all the way from penacony and into your own homeworld, one lightyears from the planet of festivities. Your father thought this a great opportunity to speak personally about business with the renowned Mr. Sunday—a man with the slyness of a fox and the stillness of a snake.

Yes, his handsome features and suave manner were truly appealing, but that didn’t take away your simmering urge to splash your glass of SoulGlad all over that exorbitant off-white three-piece lapel suit of his. And, oh, yes, he was so polite and charming and refined, but the way he looked at you made your cheeks heat and blood boil.

Golden eyes with the softness of a rock. Utterly unreadable, unpredictable. But you tolerated him, because relations between the head of the Oak Family and your father took priority well over your own inimical sentiments for the man. Also, his sister Robin, the famed and beautiful singer all across the cosmos, had become a quick friend of yours. The vast difference in personality between the sibling duo was baffling.

“Delighted to make your acquaintance,” Sunday had pleasantly greeted, smoothly taking your gloved hand and placing a gentlemanly, polite, and brief kiss to the top of it. “Miss [Name].”

“No, the honour is all mine.” At first, you thought him nice enough, rather taken with the way he so facilely, amiably kissed your hand. You’d always liked the more traditional men, and Mr. Sunday was the embodiment of one—with his tall frame and courteous demeanour. That impression, however, did not last long.

The more the man talked, the more you disliked him. His voice was soothing and silky and full of the right amount of polite detachment fitting for a businessman of his calibre. His lips seemed to be permanently turned up at the corners, into some kind of semblance of a smile you couldn’t quite place. Almost a smirk, not quite. Something about it put you off, and drew you in. Perhaps that was the point.

“…This is not a realm for the infirm,” he was saying to your father, his champagne glass held loosely in long, attractive fingers. Ones sure to not have a single callus on them—for, you sardonically, softly scoffed into your own glass, this man was the very type to spill blood by proxy, never dirtying his own, smooth hands.

Maybe you were jumping to conclusions and making unfair judgements about this man—but, well, you just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was much more to the Head of the Oak Family than what first met the eye. Something off-putting.

“How do you mean?” Your father replied, taking a sip of his SoulGlad.

“I mean, natural selection is one to take precedence and make the choices for us, no?” You acted uninterested in the conversation as you looked away and pretended to watch the performing orchestra with rapt interest. “The law of the jungle puts each person to the test, and that all depends on your own determination, potential and, most of all, aptitude. Life is an obstacle course. It all boils down to one’s capabilities.”

“Survival of the fittest, you mean?” your father clarified, squinting at the Head of the Family, before he nodded in agreement. “Yes, yes, I quite agree. Adaptation, such a morbidly wonderful concept. It is how individuals like you and I clawed our ways to the top, if it meant our loved ones lived the lives they deserve.” And then he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, giving you a fatherly squeeze, smiling down at you. “I’ve no qualms about getting some dirt under my fingernails if it means my beloved daughter is comfortable for the rest of her life.”

“Father, you’re making it sound like you’re secretly an underground crime boss.” You jokingly arched a brow, masking your deep discomfort with the present topic of the conversation. You could feel Mr. Sunday’s golden hues boring into the side of your face intently. “You shouldn’t say such things. I think you’re both talking nonsense.”

“Ah, so you have been listening,” quipped Mr. Sunday, inclining his head toward you, gazing at you through his greyish-blue bangs and long lashes. “You do not agree with the survival of the fittest?”

“Oh, now, I do not consider myself to be a holy person, Mr. Sunday,” you elucidated, straightening your posture. “I hold no lofty ideals. But I do believe in fairness.” Ironic, as all I’ve been doing this evening is judging you. But, somehow, you felt that your judgments were not inaccurate. “I believe that for society to flourish as it should peacefully, this ‘survival of the fittest’ archetype should be discarded. Instead of using the weak as leverage for ‘getting to the top’, the ‘fittest’ should do their best to extend a hand to those clinging to the precipice for dear life, instead of letting them fall—or, even worse—kicking them to their metaphorical death. Do you understand my meaning?” 

“Your words hold merit,” the Oak Family head acknowledged, staring at you from over the rim of his champagne flute. “You seem to cling tightly to your morality.”

“You do not?” You were beginning to enjoy twisting his words and testing him. Let’s see how long it’ll take until he trips up. “The holy and righteous Head of the Family cares not for principles?”

“That is not what I said at all.” Sunday seemed equally amused. “I pride myself in my integrity. That is something…you and I appear to have in common.”

“Hm.” You gazed back, unintimidated. You really did not like this man. Yes, you were attracted to him—but what man or woman wasn’t? His allure was merely one of the many tricks up his sleeve he effortlessly, unhesitatingly utilised to his advantage. 

It was unfortunate that your father jumped to use the chemistry between you both as a great business tactic. “Well, then, I shall leave you both to this conversation. Such a riveting one, yes, but I fear my informant is seeking my attention. Enjoy yourselves!”

And just like that, your own shelter from the beloved Mr. Sunday was gone. Silence befell you both momentarily, before the Family head extended a hand to you, flashing a bewitching smile, so full of knives. “Now, Miss [Name]…shall we dance?”

ᯓ BOOTHILL .ᐟ

“𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 these shady parts are ideal for such a lovely young lady as yerself, darlin’.”

You didn’t look up from your whiskey glass. “Because I’m not safe from vagabonds like you?"

A raspy chuckle followed. “Hoho, a sharp tongue you have. Yeah, I’d say you ain’t far off the mark there, treasure.” The scrape of a stool being drawn out filled the silence, and the man you still hadn’t looked at took a seat next to you. “But, ya haven’t got anything to worry about around me, sugar. I ain’t one of them shirtbags.”

Shirtbags? “That’s what those…shirtbags all say.” Should I just leave? You’d almost finished your drink, anyway. “Can’t a girl have a drink in a rundown bar late at night in peace?”

“Sure she can,” was the answer. “You still ain’t safe, though. Look out for yerself.”

“What’s it to you?” You finally glanced over at the man, and his appearance immediately took you aback. Cowboy hat tipped down low over his eyes, only the slope of a nose and a shapely, smirking mouth visible. Long, grey hair split into two flowing over back with black undersides. And…metal arms. A metal-plated torso. A holster with untold ammo and a gun secured on his right hip. He had cool, dark skin-tight trousers on with spurred roper boots on his feet. You couldn’t see his eyes, but it was easy to tell he was awfully attractive. 

The unknown man tilted his head slightly, revealing his only visible eye to you. His right one was fully covered by his hair. It was curious—that eye had a red pupil, with four white lines rimming it, making it appear like a target lock symbol. You blinked at him, and he grinned. This guy’s full of surprises. His teeth were sharp, jagged, like a shark’s. “Oh, sweetheart, it ain’t nothin’ to me, you’re right. But what’s wrong with extending some friendly concern for a sad-looking young woman on her third glass of whiskey?” “How did you—” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Have you been watching me this entire time? And sad-looking? You wanna start a fight?” You brushed your coat to the side, revealing your own gun. He glanced down at it in immense amusement. “If you’re just here to cause trouble, then you can piss o—”

He held up both hands in surrender, still grinning. “Not here to cause trouble, sugar. Just here to chat. Nothin’ else, I swear. On my honour.”

You snorted. “Didn’t know you had any.”

“Hey.” His tone turned whiny, half-offended. “I’m basically actin’ as your bodyguard right now, honey. Keepin’ all these creeps in here miles away from ya because of my menacin’ energy.”

“Menacing?” You laughed derisively. “Ha! You’re a funny one, cowboy. Anyway, what’re the likes of you doing in these parts? This is a bar, not a saloon. Can’t play poker here, you know—at least, I don’t think so.” “Har har.” The man paused and ordered some…malt juice? You looked at him weirdly. He ignored it. “Hilarious, darlin’. I ain’t your stereotypical cowboy. I go around beatin’ them IPC fudgeheads up, not smackin’ cow rumps on a ranch.”

“An outlaw, are you? Ooh, scary.” You chuckled into your shot glass. “How big’s your bounty?”

“Why? Gonna turn me in?” He leaned his cheek on one metal hand, gazing at you with an intense eye. It felt a bit weird—strangely, that target lock symbol in his eye made you feel like he’d set you in his sights. “Good luck with that one, sweetheart. People’ve been tryin’ for years.”

“Who said I was gonna turn you in?” You arched a brow at him. “I don’t care about you and your so-called bounty. You sound pretty full of yourself, cowboy.”

“When you’re a pro at evading the IPC for years on end, who wouldn’t get a little bit of a big head?”

“Pride always comes before the fall.” You took a sip of whiskey. “Biggest mistake you could possibly make is underestimating your enemy.”

“Heck, sounds like yer givin’ me some advice on how to continue runnin’ away from them IPC hooligans!” he guffawed. “Sounds like you’re already well on your merry way to becomin’ a scummy crim like me, eh, darlin’? Oho, now that’s funny.”

“What’s wrong with extending some friendly concern for a scruffy-looking cyborg?” you echoed his previous words sardonically.

“Alright, you got me there,” he conceded amusedly. There was a moment of silence, and then he held out a hand for you to shake. “Name’s Boothill. What’s yours, sugar?”

You looked at his hand, and then at him. Then you took his hand and shook it firmly. “[Name]. Nice to meet a fellow outlaw.”

ᯓ BLADE .ᐟ

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 sharp edge of a sword was hovering just over your jugular vein, more than ready to slice it open at any given opportunity. It was barely touching your skin, a ghost of a scrape, and you remained completely, absolutely still. 

The blade was of a deep, dark crimson, with golden spider cracks adorning it, giving the sword a serrated, broken appearance. It was visibly well-wielded, and mended many times over.

Just like the man who was holding it to your throat.

Bandages covered his left hand, and one was wrapped around his upper right forearm, on his coat’s sleeve. Strange. Another was wound around his upper right thigh, also on clothing, not on his skin. His hair was shaggy, unkempt, brushing over his eyes so thickly, his left one was barely visible. But his one visible eye…it held an intensity you hadn’t come across before—one so piercing, so penetrating, it became a physical and mental battle to hold it.

The man was handsome, very handsome, and his face was full of youth. But the way his brow was knotted so harshly, lips drawn out into a severe line, and how his uncovered eye speared through you gave you the unshakable sense that this man had seen, done, and lived many things, and many lifetimes.

“I know who you are,” were his first words to you. A deep, gruff, cold voice, so menacing. The man’s whole ambiance screamed menace. He would kill you without a second thought, resolutely, and you’d just become yet another victim he never stopped to understand, to care about.

“You do?” You were nervous; that sword of his was held so steadily, there was not a detectable tremor in his grip at all. The man’s entire form was utterly motionless, like a predator lying in patient, still wait. And the killing blow could come at any time, and you would never have possibly anticipated it. “…I don’t recall meeting you before.” “Then why are you here?” There was the crackle of leather squeezing together, and you watched as his only gloved hand curled around the blade’s hilt just that bit more. That red eye narrowed. It was flecked with searing gold, you noticed. “You do not belong here. I should kill you.”

You slowly lifted a hand, not making any sudden movements, but his eyes did not move from yours for even a fraction of a second. Tapping the back of it against the sword’s edge, you ever so slowly eased it away from your neck. You were amazed he let you. “Sir, I have no idea who you are, but did you think I was going to let a stranger bleed out in some empty alleyway at one in the morning?”

“You should mind your own business,” he spat, but he deemed you harmless enough to stay his sword fully. It dissipated into stardust, and your eyes bugged out at the sight. The man tried to take two steps back, but he stumbled, slumping against the brick wall behind him. You rushed to catch him, but a large, firm hand grabbed your shoulder and held you away from him. “Don’t.”

“Mister, you are bleeding. Severely.” From your observations of his (very obvious) mannerisms and appearance, you could only surmise that this man was some kind of soldier or thug, either or. He knew how to wield a sword masterfully, and this kind of incident evidently wasn’t new to him.

“And I will be fine.” A flash of red in the dark was all that told you he’d flicked a glare in your direction as he slid down the wall, sitting on the cold stone ground. “Leave this place.”

“And if I don’t?”

“You would just be making it more difficult for me. Leave. Before I have to make you leave myself.”

You knelt down in front of him. He was panting heavily, a hand on his middle. Rivulets of blood oozed between his fingers, streaming out and down through the gaps of his knuckles. “What’s your name?” “That is…none of your concern,” he puffed, that permanent frown on his face deepening. Sweat glistened on his brow. “There’s no need for me to tell yo—” “I’m asking so I can call a friend of yours, genius. Or an associate, if you’re involved with underground stuff like that.” You began to reach for his hip, feeling around for a phone. “Because you, clearly, don’t have the energy to—”

His free hand snatched yours away, grip tight and almost bruising. “Leave. Just leave.”

You stared at him, lips pursed. “I need to calm down. Whatever secret it is you’re desperately trying to keep from me is none of my concern. I’m not interested in that. What I am interested in is getting you help. Let me contact whoever your partner in all this is.”

His wide chest heaved, his breathing laboured, before he finally broke gazes with you and released your wrist. “Fine. Make it quick. And then you go, understood?” “Perfectly.” You waited for him to extract his phone from his pocket and unlock it, handing it to you. Then his hand slumped down. Damn, even doing just that took everything in him. You were growing increasingly concerned. This man is dying. I need to hurry.

The first name to pop up in his contacts was someone called ‘Kafka’. Hitting the call button, you put it on speaker and held it out to him. He waved it away, rasping, “you do the talking.”

Four rings went by before the other end clicked and a crooning, sultry female voice filtered through the phone. “Ooh, what a pleasant surprise, Bladie. You never call first~”

You glanced up at the so-called ‘Bladie’, who fixed you with a glare that screamed, I dare you to ask. I dare you. Biting back your laughter, you cleared your throat and carefully began, “Uh, good evening, ma’am. I’m here with your friend…Bladie.”

There was silence on the other end for a beat before the woman broke into chuckles. “Haha! You called him Bladie! Oh, you don’t have much longer to live, missy. If he’s incapacitated right now, you’re very lucky.”

You sneaked a glance at the man before you and saw that she wasn’t exaggerating. His glower was murderous, even more so than before. Your stomach dropped at the sight. “…Haha. Sorry about that. And yes, he is incapacitated right now. Very injured, in fact. He’s losing a lot of blood, ma’am.”

“Oh, don’t be so formal!” This ‘Kafka’ talked as if the present incident was just another Tuesday for her. What do these two get up to? You weren’t sure if you even wanted to know. “Just call me Kafka, sweetie. I’m on my way right now, Bladie. What’s your name, honey?”

You gave her your name. Kafka hummed. “Mm, yes, well, darling, I would advise you to leave, please. You’ve been a great help, and I hate to scare you off, but Bladie here has a few problems only I can attend to. Your leaving is only for your own good.”

“Why?” Curiosity killed the cat.

“Don’t ask questions. Just leave,” the man growled, and he seemed to be getting nastier and nastier by the second. “Do as she says. Go.”

“I’m almost there, Blade,” Kafka said through the phone, and that’s when you knew she’d used his actual name. Blade. It suited him. Very well. The faint sound of heels clicking in the background on the line told you the woman was hurrying over to you and Blade. “Hang in there, alright? Just a little longer.”

“Miss Kafka, I think I should stay here—”

“Honey, Blade here is mara-struck,” she interrupted you, her voice still so lilting and flirtatious, but it held a firmer note. “If he goes wild, you’ll be the first to go.”

“What do I keep telling you?” Blade panted, and that’s when you understood the golden gleam in his eyes. “Go. How long until it gets through your thick skull? When you’re dead? Just lea—”

“Bladie, don’t be so harsh.” Kafka had her previous playful tone again, one this man obviously hated. “She’s probably terribly shocked right now—aren’t you, honey?” “…Yeah…” You were. Utterly shellshocked. I need to get out of here. This man was much more dangerous than you initially anticipated. “I’ll…I’ll go.”

“Good idea,” Kafka purred, and then two sets of heels began to echo behind you. “Here we are.”

The call ended, and the woman emerged from the shadows. Voluptuous, graceful and just exuding danger, the tall lady approached you both with quick, but casual, calculated steps, and Blade looked visibly relieved at her appearance. Kafka smiled down at you, but it wasn’t a real smile. Just an automatic reaction, you guessed. You immediately handed her Blade’s phone. Her smile widened. “Thank you, sweetie. Run along now.”

“Of—of course.” You hurried to your feet. Glancing worriedly down at Blade, he kept his head slumped as Kafka knelt beside him in the place you just were. Her perfume hit you like a truck, and you suddenly thought this woman was very cool. Really cool. But lethal. “I…yeah. Take care.”

“Oh, we will.” Kafka didn’t look up again, and was feeling Blade’s pulse. “Have a lovely rest of your night, honey. You got lucky.”

You’d already guessed as much. “Haha. Goodbye.”

Turning to hurry out of the alleyway, you were stopped by the woman calling out for you one last time. She had a long, elegant finger pressed to her lips, and she winked at you. “Just a little reminder, sweetie, to not say a word of this to anyone, alright?” “…Alright.”

Kafka’s intense gaze wasn’t half as friendly as her smile. “Good girl. Keep quiet, and we’ll be back with a reward for you in no time.” Intimidated, you backed up. “Oh—there’s…really no need, ma’am.”

She clicked her tongue, turning back to the now-unconscious man before her and continuing with whatever she was doing on him, chuckling rather darkly. “Oh, but there is. See you soon, sweetie.”

ᯓ AVENTURINE .ᐟ

“𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐀 few tricks up your sleeve, have you?”

You threw the dice down on the roulette wheel, leaning back in your chair and watching it spin about freely. Taking a sip of your cocktail, you smiled at the golden-haired man to your left over the rim of it. “You’re asking me that question? You’ve got untold ones hidden up in all nooks and crannies of that expensive peacock coat of yours.”

Aventurine leaned his cheek against his fist, elbow propped on his chair’s armrest. A pair of the most striking, beautiful eyes you’d ever seen gazed at you through rose-tinted shades. “Why, aren’t you observant. This little gambling session really has been such a ball. I haven’t come across someone as skilled as yourself in a long time.”

“Thank you kindly,” you sarcastically said, setting your beverage down with a soft clink. You glanced at the mountain of chips gathered neatly right in front of the man. Equal to yours. Now, you were both locked in a one-on-one gambling session where you fought for each other’s chips. Maybe a bit unorthodox—usually there’d be many more players. But the less there were, the more intense it was. “I dare say, this is one intense first meeting, don’t you agree?”

“Most certainly.” He took a sip of his whiskey. “Now, shall we make a small, personal bet of our own?”

“A personal bet?” you repeated, tilting your head at him. “I would never have guessed you made such things.”

“Only when necessary.”

“Oh, I see—you’re doing this because you’re losing. Pitifully.” You twirled a chip around between your fingers. “Alright. What’s this bet you’d like to make?”

“I bet that if you lose the next five chips, you answer a question of mine. If I lose the next five chips, I’ll score you a little rendezvous with the lovely Miss Jade.”

“Only five chips?” you queried warily, lifting a brow. “And how did you know I wish to speak with Jade? Oh, what am I saying. You IPC thugs always have tabs on something.”

“You wound me. Let’s hop to it, shall we?” Aventurine threw in his dice. “I bet on a twenty-three. Five gold chips.”

“Five-thousand credits, hm?” He was going for the kill. You smiled to yourself. “Alright. I bet on twelve. Five black chips.”

“You play cheap,” he mused, intently watching the dice spin around. “Not much of an investor, are you?”

“Knowing you and your tactics, I would be more likely to take a greater loss than you,” you explained, no qualms about handing it to his innate gambling skills and apt intuition. You couldn’t fathom how he did it and where he got his accuracy from. “Five hundred credits isn’t too much of a loss for me.”

“Two selected numbers out of thirty-eight in total.” Aventurine relaxed into his chair. The dice began to slow. “What are the chances?"

“It all depends.” You watched as the dice spun away from the ‘twelve’ notch over and over. You were getting a bit jittery. You had a feeling that this question of his was worth far more to you than the five hundred measly credits you put on the table. “For all we know, it could land in neither of our betted numbers.”

“Oh, so true.” This man was so sly, so conniving. It set off alarms in your head. The corners of his shapely lips turned up, and he grinned devilishly at you. “Let’s see where it lands.”

The dice spun and spun and spun, getting slower and slower—before, finally, it rolled to a gradual stop, tumbling into a notch. 

Your fingers twitched. You wanted to wring the handsome, cunning man’s neck. The dice had landed so excruciatingly calmly into the twenty-third notch.

As expected, I suppose. This man never took any losses. You weren’t too worried about pushing the five black chips his way. You were more worried about what question you would have to answer.

“Five-hundred credits. So worthwhile.” Aventurine gladly accepted them. “Now, let’s see…here is my question. Don’t look so perturbed. It’s nothing, really.” “Is that so?” You crossed your arms over your chest, swinging a leg over your other, lightly kicking your heeled foot in an attempt to remain calm. “Pray tell, what do you ask?”

“I ask that you make a little deal with me.” 

You arched a brow. Another one? “Another bet? I think I’ve had quite enough of those for one day.”

“Oh, no, it’s not a bet, honey. The deal is this: pose as my girlfriend for a while, and I’ll compensate you thoroughly.”

“That’s nice. What’s in it for me?”

“Status. Renown. Wealth. Reputation.” He held up four fingers, then a gold chip suddenly appeared out from between them and he flipped it in the air casually. “And, of course, safety. Maybe a little nice dinner with the elegant Senior Manager of the IPC Strategic Investment Department. You can’t go wrong with this.”

“Truly?” You weren’t buying it. “It will be contractual?”

“Absolutely.” Aventurine’s crooning voice was grating on your nerves. But he was tempting. So tempting. “And it’ll be our little secret. I’ll swear not to pull anything unsavoury.”

You considered it. You needed the money. Reputation and status was also an enticing offer. But you needed time to think.

“Shall we meet up and discuss this elsewhere some other time?” You pulled out your phone, extending it toward him. “Put in your contact details. I’ll text you when I’ve thought it through.” “Wise of you.” Aventurine accepted the gadget and tapped away at it accordingly. “Take your time. I look forward to working with you.”

He got up and left, only the strong scent of his expensive cologne left in his wake. You noticed he never took your five-hundred credits, and left his five-thousand behind.

ᯓ JING YUAN .ᐟ

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 expect the Arbiter General to be the one to rescue you from three mara-struck soldiers.

It’s not like you were helpless. You could fight; you had the Combat Type of Wind and Path of Erudition at hand. You were no weakling—you, ranked a Sergeant Major in the Sky-Faring Commission, had had your fair share of battles in the past.

But you’d never crossed paths with The Divine Foresight. Seeing his tall, powerful frame and flowing hair in passing as he strolled around the Sky-Faring Commission’s headquarters was as much as you knew of him personally. And that was nothing at all.

“Are you alright, miss?” He held a hand out to you to help you up, and you hesitantly accepted it. This is so embarrassing. Me, a Sergeant Major, needing help from the General himself? Can one get any more incompetent? You decided then it would be a good idea to keep your identity and rank private. You didn’t need the Arbiter-General walking away from this thinking you were incapable of even defending yourself from the most common of opponents.

“I’m fine, sir.” You brushed yourself off once you were on your feet again. You covertly tugged your badge signifying your rank out of sight. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Not at all.” General Jing Yuan smiled at you indolently. For someone who just wiped out three mara-crazed former Cloud Knights, he looked pretty sleepy. “Allow me to accompany you back to the Sky-Faring Commission.” “I—I’m sorry?” Surely he hadn’t worked you out that quick. Neither could he have recognised you from the Commission either. You weren’t remarkable like that, and neither of you had ever interacted. “I don’t—I mean, I, uh…”

“Is something wrong?” He tilted his head at you. “Are you not Sergeant Major [Name]? Madame Yukong speaks highly of you.”

“I was not aware you knew of me, General.” That whole hiding of your badge was useless, then. You fidgeted with the hem of your sleeve. “I am ashamed. To think you, of all people, would have had to be the one to save a well-trained soldier as I from three mere mara-struck knights.”

“Ashamed? No, don’t be. You were ambushed, no? Then, it is not your fault.” “Thank you.” You bowed your head respectfully. “But, there is no need for you to escort me back to the Commission. I do believe I will be quite alright on my own.” “Oh, I was heading to the Commission anyway.” General Jing Yuan inclined his head toward you. He’s very tall. His hair was longer than you thought, too. “So, why not keep each other company on our trip to the same place? I’ve been meaning to speak with you for a while now, also.” “You have?” You met his hooded golden gaze in surprise. “About what, may I ask?” “Your skill with the mechanics of a Starskiff is commendable.” He began walking, and you fell into step beside him. The Arbiter-General’s voice was low, silky, and deep. No wonder women went crazy over this man. “It reminds me of an old friend I once had, long ago. I could use your expertise—of course, only if you are willing to agree, that is.”

“What is it you need assistance with?” Never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined the famed, formidable General Jing Yuan ever complimenting you for skills most in the Sky-Faring Commission had. 

“Fifteen Starskiffs were crashed in a heated battle northwest of Scalegorge Waterscape,” he explained. “It will keep you awfully busy for a little while, but the compensation for your hard work will be great.”

Pursing your lips, you debated your answer. “…General Jing Yuan, sir, I must remind you that I am a Sergeant Major, not a repairwoman. I am the one who sends out the Starskiffs to be crashed, not the one who fixes them.” “Ah, I see. Of course. It seems I overlooked that one small factor.” It didn’t take both of you long until you arrived at the Sky-Faring Commission’s headquarters. “I am sorry, but I will have to assign this task either way. It’s really quite urgent. And Madam Yukong recommended you.”

“I really don’t—”

“Would a promotion from Sergeant Major to Colonel do?”

It was like he slapped you with the way you reeled back in shock, rendered utterly speechless. “Pro-promotion, sir?” you sputtered, inarticulate. “I—that’s—I don’t think…”

The Arbiter-General tilted his head coyly as if he were just discussing the weather, not your (huge) promotion from Major to Colonel. “But, I do. I think that would suffice. Are you convinced?” “I…” Getting there, that’s for sure. Our first meeting ever, and he’s promoting me? You weren’t quite sure of your impression of the man. Wonder? Astonishment? You were torn between both.

Before you could answer, Jing Yuan pushed open the Commission’s doors and entered. Madam Yukong caught sight of you both and rushed over. “General! Oh, [Name], you’re here too. Jing Yuan, did you tell—” “I certainly did.” His full mouth curled up into a playful smile. He glanced down at you, and you quickly looked away. “However, it is all up to Sergeant Major [Name] here. Yet, I do think the offer I made her is too good to refuse.”

“Too good to be true,” you softly corrected. “General, I fail to see why my fixing of fifteen crashed Starskiffs warrants a promotion of such a degree. It would hardly be anything noteworthy…” “Quite the opposite.” The General outstretched a hand and patted your shoulder. He smiled indolently again, so casual. “Think it over, Sergeant. I look forward to working with you.”

With that, the Arbiter-General turned and headed away, over to attend to something else regarding Qingying, one of Madam Yukong’s colleagues.

You turned to her in bewilderment. “Is he serious?”

The older woman smiled in a way that made you think she was in on some joke you hadn’t a clue about. It was a knowing smile, and she shot a look in the General’s direction. Then she looked at you again, eyes twinkling. “Very serious.”

all rights reserved © kisstrela 2024. do not copy, repost, redistribute, translate, plagiarise or modify my work(s) in any way on any platform. thank you.

reverse dating tropes w hsr men!

in which — what the title suggests / those classic fanfic tropes but with a twist

featuring — boothill, jing yuan, blade (separately) x gn!reader

✧.* — wc: total 1.5k, used up half my brain for this (the other half is for pt2 w aven sunday geppie!!), lovesick boothill + clingy jy + jealous blade fr, anyway pls enjoy! reblogs r appreciated <3

boothill ꩜ .ᐟ

love at many sights with boothill whose memory card was tinkered with, and every time you meet, he thinks he's seeing you for the first time, so he falls for you over and over again. 

when boothill returned from a dangerous mission, it was evident that he had endured significant damage. his once sleek and polished exterior was now marred by dents and scratches, and his mechanical limbs were either partially missing or severely damaged. the exposed wiring, usually neatly tucked away beneath scraps of metals, now hung in tangled strands, sparking occasionally with residual energy.

he looked barely salvageable. it's safe to say that the mechanics had a hell of a time fixing him.

though they were skilled enough to piece him back together, his memory card wasn’t as lucky. a tinkering in his system left him incapable of recalling or retaining information in his synthetic brain, temporarily —leaving the mechanics scrambling to find a solution.

weeks later, you find yourself walking down the familiar corridors of the laboratory where your favourite cyborg is being held for reparation.

boothill’s eyes immediately land on yours when you enter the lab. “well ain’t this a surprise! haven’t seen ya in a good long while.” boothill drawls, tipping his hat your way, his voice carrying a metallic twang. 

"i heard you took a bit of a tumble, figured someone should come make sure you didn’t lose all your screws." you shrug nonchalantly, a smirk playing on your lips.

boothill's eyes flicker for a moment, taking in the curve forming on your lips. he thinks you’re adorable with that infectious smile of yours. 

“heh, nothin’ bad, just had a r-r-run in with some cuties" he says, failing to hide the glitch that caused his voice to stutter. (and that damn synesthesia beacon! he swears he’ll get it fixed this time around…)

“guess you took more than a tumble huh...” you lean casually against the workbench, the sterile scent of machinery and the hum of various devices filled the air; your gaze sweeps over the freshly repaired parts of boothill's metallic frame, “anyway, glad to see that you’re mostly fine now." 

“aww! do ya care ‘bout me?” he teases, his grin widening, revealing his pointy teeth peeking out mischievously. you don’t reply, your eyes glinting with the faintest hint of amusement dancing in them.

"boothill, we go through this every time, your memory card's still damaged. you forget things sometimes, so for the 5th time this week, yes i do care about you.”

boothill's expression shifts, a mixture of realization and sheepishness crossing his features. "right, right," he murmurs, scratching the back of his head with his metallic hand. "sorry 'bout that, sugar. guess i just keep forgettin'."

you chuckle and shake your head, finding the situation amusing. he feels like he might overheat from the sheer warmth radiating from your smile.

“you’re beautiful, date me.” (he didn’t mean to blurt that outloud)

you raise your eyebrows at the sudden compliment, “why thank you,” a surprised laugh escapes your lips.

“—and we’re already dating, silly.”

a shower of sparks erupts from his circuits, you can particularly hear the fans inside him sputter and whir. you rush to his side, concern etched on your face.

“wh- are you okay?! you’re short circuiting again!”

and this happens every time his memory lapses. you offer an apology to the mechanic on the next shift for the extra work required to fix yet another damaged wire after your visits. perhaps they should ban you from getting too close to boothill, lest he completely breaks down again like that one time where you told him, yes you actually kissed before.

jing yuan ୭ ˚.

"secret relationship" with jing yuan but he is completely unaware of how his public displays of affection towards you keep revealing the supposed secrecy of your relationship.

on the rare case that the general is found in his office, you are there too, beside him.

“pleeeease? just one kiss, really really miss you, darling”

“no jing yuan, not now…”

he wraps his arms around you as he leans in, caging you from the back. he rests his chin on your shoulder, “then how about a kiss on the cheeks?” he murmurs in your ear. you try to push him away, but he just chuckles softly against your neck, his arms still secure around you.

“no, and get off me before someone sees!” you protest, feeling your face flush from the close proximity, and the tightening of his arms suggests that he has no intention of releasing you just yet.

this stubborn man… you swear you’re gonna burst a blood vessel someday.

as if to echo your exasperation; he nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, peppering it with nibbles and gentle kisses. jing yuan certainly knows how to test your limits, yet his affectionate gestures never fail to chip away at your resolve.

suddenly, a series of loud knocks come from the door, you freeze, and immediately attempt to wiggle your way out of his grasp. but he remains unfazed, his hold on you firm, and seemingly unbothered by the interruption.

the door bursts open, “general! there’s a situation at starskiff ha—ven...”  yanqing trails off as his eyes widen at your position. the room falls into a momentary silence as yanqing's gaze shifts between you and his general, his expression reflecting a blend of shock and embarrassment.

clearing his throat awkwardly, yanqing stammers, "i-im sorry for interrupting... i’ll t-take my leave now!” with a hurried nod, he practically sprints out of the room.

oh bless that kid’s poor eyes… 

you shoot a glare at jing yuan from the corner of your eyes, you just know that he has a shit eating grin on his face right now. nowadays, it’s probably common knowledge that the general’s most treasured person is you, evidently shown by how he latches himself onto you every time you’re within his vicinity. you wouldn’t be surprised if the entirety of xianzhou knows about your supposed “secret” relationship.

“so… can i have my kiss now?” 

aeons, he’s insufferable. (you love him tho!!!!!)

blade ؛ ଓ

"fake dating" with blade but you are actually dating —somehow everyone is convinced you aren't.

“blink twice if you need help.” march whispers-shout; dan heng leans against the doorway, blocking the way into your room, nods in agreement.

“this is absurd… i’m alright guys, really!” you try to reassure your friends, frustration edging into your voice. though no matter how many times you insist that no blade isn't holding you hostage and that you are indeed in a relationship with him, they seem convinced otherwise, somehow deducing that you're not able to speak freely.

you sigh in resignation, knowing that they aren’t going to relent anytime soon, and with blade idling in your room, you can't afford to keep him waiting any longer. “dan heng please, let me through, he’s been waiting for me for the past 10 minutes now…”

“good, let him wait.” dan heng responds curtly. (what a guy)

march takes hold of your hands, “do you owe the stellaron hunters something, and him out of everyone?! he looks scary…and totally not your type!” 

“not their type?” a low voice rings out from behind dan heng, the three of you turn immediately and see blade looming at your doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. 

“stellaron hunter. stay back.” dan heng furrows his eyebrows, his stance defensive as he pulls out his weapon, positioning himself to block you and march. sensing the growing tension, you step forward, reaching out to gently grasp at dan heng’s shoulder. 

(blade’s expression darkens at your hand resting on him)

“it’s okay dan heng, he means no harm.” dan heng hesitates, his grip on his weapon remains tight, but he doesn't move to strike. so you slowly move between him and blade, “see? i’m fine… he’s not gonna hurt me.” you smile reassuringly at your friends. 

just then, as if to further aggravate dan heng, blade settles his hand on your waist. dan heng’s hand is visibly twitching now. “what? can’t i touch what’s mine?”

dan heng’s eyes narrow, “...we still don’t believe you, leave now. before it’s too late.”

before you can interject, blade grabs your chin, silencing any words of protest with a sudden kiss. caught off guard, your eyes widen as the unexpected gesture leaves you momentarily stunned. but you soon reciprocate his kiss, his intensity drawing you in.

(march quickly covers her eyes with her hands)

“there. now leave us alone.” and with that, he pulls you into your room, slamming the door shut behind, pinning you against it. 

it’s just the both of you now, finally.

“did you really have to touch him.” his voice tinged with possessiveness. “blade, he would’ve hurt you, i didn’t mean—” he shuts you up with another kiss, more desperate this time, welp guess you’re stuck with him for the night.

though your friends might not believe that a person like you would “be in cahoots” with someone as dangerous as him; convincing them otherwise is a task for another time. tonight, he wants your attention focused solely on him, and him only.

ᯓ★

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