Hot Take But "nice" Catcalling (e.g Those "wholesome" Videos Where A Guy Yells Some Variation Of "I Like

Hot take but "nice" catcalling (e.g those "wholesome" videos where a guy yells some variation of "I like your shoes" or "you're a badass" or whatever the fuck) completely misses the point about why catcalling is bad

Yeah, sure, you're not being sexually inappropriate with a stranger, but you are still infringing on her (let's not pretend it isn't always "her") ability to move through the world unimpeded. You are still demanding her attention. You are still deciding that you having something to say to her is more important than her right to be left alone.

It's exactly the same kind of bs as all those jumpscare stories where the punchline is "haha I made you THINK I was a bigot but AKSHUALLY I'm an ally!" (E.g "when my son came out I told him I refused to let him live under my roof...until we got him a boyfriend!!" etc)

Every woman's fight or flight reflex kicks in when she's catcalled, and your "nice genuine compliment" triggers that just as much as some douche saying "hey sexy"

More to the point, she still has no way of predicting how you're going to react if she doesn't engage with you the way you want, which is, crucially, *why* catcalling triggers the fight or flight reflex in the first place

Tl;dr you are never entitled to women's attention even if you think you're being nice. Leave women in public alone.

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pursuingimmortality

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If you accidentally hurt someone or cross their boundaries and they make you aware of this, literally all you have to do is apologize and stop. You don't have to beat yourself up internally for months. You don't have to hate yourself for fucking up. You don't have to feel like a horrible person. No one benefits from any of that - and at worst, such an extreme reaction will make the person in question less likely to speak up around you in the future, cause even if your negative reaction is directed at yourself and not at them, it's still unpleasant for everyone involved.

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pursuingimmortality

4 months ago

I'd love to see feminists placing women in the role of "default human" from now on as a way of centering them, using feminine pronouns when speaking of people generally. Men have done this for themselves for more than long enough. I want to take maleness out of our language as much as possible, at least in English.

"To each their own" >>> "To each her own"

"Every person should be able to do what he wants" >>> "Every person should be able to do what she wants"

"God in His infinite wisdom..." >>> "God in Her infinite wisdom..."

Etc.

Just speak from the female experience as much as possible. Wash maleness out of your speech, and you'll wash it gradually out of your way of thinking.

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pursuingimmortality

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