Latest Posts by ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral - Page 7

Baby Aithusa AND baby Merlin?! I cannot handle all of this cuteness! 😍

Full of Snausage!

(Inspired by this post)

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What if...Ygraine Returns as a Ghost to Care for Her Son

Servant: Sir, I came to inform you that the knights you sent to battle are all dead.

Uther (sitting on the throne, distracted): Well, send their belongings to their families and tell them they were heroes. And bring more cookies, I'm hungry.

Arthur (six years old, watching the scene with distracted eyes next to a very angry ten-year-old Morgana): Good people die young, so when I grow up, I want to be bad like mom. 😌

Morgana: What are you talking about, Arthur! Your mother was a kind and good woman! Where did you get the idea that she was bad!?

Arthur: Yesterday I heard mom say that her dream was for a manure cart to run over dad so he would die once and for all. 🙂

Morgana (eyes wide in complete shock): Your mother would never say such a thing, Arthur… 🫢

Ygraine (next to Uther, trying to strangle him but unable to because she is a ghost): Don't listen to her, baby, mom hates dad and doesn't support anything he's doing! I still can't believe I married this man, listen to what mom says, Arthur, don't follow in his footsteps!

Arthur (turns to Morgana): Mom just said she hates dad, she's also trying to strangle him, but her hands keep going through his body, I think she's a ghost. 🫠 *slowly losing sanity*

Morgana (realizing that the young prince might be crazy): Arthur, maybe she's just joking…

Ygraine (trying to make Uther trip by stepping on his own cape): I'M NOT JOKING! If I could, I would kill him myself! I just can't because I can't touch him!

Arthur: I don't know if the gods would like so much violence…

Ygraine: The gods don't like your father!

Arthur: Okay… 🙂 *takes a cookie from the tray the servant brought*

Merlin and Uther uniting forces when Arthur's acting like an idiot will always be so funny to me!

Merlin 🤝 Uther

Arthur's an enchanted dumbass

Uther asking Merlin "what happened to him(Arthur)?!!" Like dude shouldn't you be looking out for that idiot 😭

And Arthur all the time under the love spell like "la la la love"

Holding this so close to my heart! This is awesome!!

Merlin & Arthur | Somebody to Die For by @imagine-dragonlords

I am so ridiculously proud of this and it took EVERYTHING in me to make it, I hope you all enjoy! ❤️

You know, I didn't think that one of my most popular posts would be a joke about Arthur's troll stepmom, but I'll take it!

Now I definitely have to incorporate this into my next au!

You know what's one thing I'm disappointed we never got in Merlin? After the troll episodes, the entire event was never brought up again!

I mean, I understand if the people of Camelot would rather forget about the whole thing, but Arthur had a troll for a stepmother for like a week and Merlin never teased him about it later on?!

I would really like to write a fic or au some day set in the Golden Age where it's discovered that dragonlords got their powers from being descended from ancient powerful dragons that shapeshifted in humans and had half-human children.

And Arthur's reaction is to turn to Merlin and go "So what you're telling me is that one of your ancestors was deranged enough to sleep with a dragon? That certainly confirms my theory that your insanity is passed down through your blood."

And of course Merlin immediately fires back, "And remind me Sire, which of our family trees includes a troll?"

Arthur sputters for a moment before shouting that that doesn't count, she enchanted his father and the whole thing was a trick, before Geoffrey pipes up and says, "Actually sire, as it was an official wedding, Queen Catrina the Troll was officially added to the Pendragon family tree. And as the marriage was never formally annulled before her death, she cannot be removed from the record."

Arthur's left horrified by this, while Merlin's laughing his ass off.

I just think a scene like that would be neat!

You know what's one thing I'm disappointed we never got in Merlin? After the troll episodes, the entire event was never brought up again!

I mean, I understand if the people of Camelot would rather forget about the whole thing, but Arthur had a troll for a stepmother for like a week and Merlin never teased him about it later on?!

I would really like to write a fic or au some day set in the Golden Age where it's discovered that dragonlords got their powers from being descended from ancient powerful dragons that shapeshifted in humans and had half-human children.

And Arthur's reaction is to turn to Merlin and go "So what you're telling me is that one of your ancestors was deranged enough to sleep with a dragon? That certainly confirms my theory that your insanity is passed down through your blood."

And of course Merlin immediately fires back, "And remind me Sire, which of our family trees includes a troll?"

Arthur sputters for a moment before shouting that that doesn't count, she enchanted his father and the whole thing was a trick, before Geoffrey pipes up and says, "Actually sire, as it was an official wedding, Queen Catrina the Troll was officially added to the Pendragon family tree. And as the marriage was never formally annulled before her death, she cannot be removed from the record."

Arthur's left horrified by this, while Merlin's laughing his ass off.

I just think a scene like that would be neat!

You understand the vision! As funny (and justified) as Merlin fighting the gods would be, I always get a good laugh out of imagining Merlin rampaging through the underworld like:

While Arthur hasn't even been dead for an hour yet!

Silly Little Halloween Story Idea

Hello everyone! While I'm working on my next au, I had a fun little idea for another Halloween au! I don't really have the time to flesh this out, but I wanted to share it anyways!

Basically, in this au, everything in the show goes the exact same way as in canon, including the ending. Arthur dies, and Merlin left to wander the earth without him.

Except this is Merlin we're talking about here. There's no force in the universe that's strong enough to keep Merlin from Arthur's side, not even death.

So, Merlin starts bargaining with the Sidhe, who refuse to give him any information until he forces them to talk. They reveal that Arthur's soul is resting in the Underworld while his body rested in the lake, kept pristine by its magic until the day he was fated to rise again.

Merlin then takes the natural next step of opening a portal to the Underworld and stepping through it while armed with Excalibur, ready to annihilate anything that gets in his way.

So, Merlin fights his way through the Underworld Doomslayer-style, searching for his king. There are, of course, many monsters that he fights along the way, but they're no match for Merlin's magic and the power held in Excalibur.

Finally, after fighting monsters and making his way to the center of the Underworld, a high-ranking demon finally gives him some answers: the King of the Underworld knows that Merlin is seeking out Arthur's soul, but he refuses to give Arthur back to Merlin willingly.

Merlin then begins his trek towards the King of the Dead's palace, cutting down any beast that stands in his way, until he finally faces the demonic King of the Underworld himself. It was a brutal battle, but Merlin ends up victorious and claims the throne of the Underworld for himself. The demonic monsters, who value strength above all else, are more than happy to pledge their loyalty to a stronger king than the one they had before.

No sooner than Merlin sat on the throne of the dead, he demanded that Arthur's soul be brought to him.

The demon forcibly leading Arthur into the throne room: We have done as you requested, Sire.

Arthur, upon seeing Merlin sitting on a throne with demons bowing to him: Merlin, I've only been gone for half a year, WTF?

Merlin, looking VERY demonic but overjoyed to see Arthur again:

That's all on this idea for now, but I might expand on it later! I think Merlin overthrowing the King of the Underworld and become a Demon King just to get Arthur back would be a fun story lol!

Yes!! And some men were *squints at notes* born to plow great kings! That's how that episode went, right? Yeah, nothing heartbreaking at all happened in that episode. :)

"i'm a top" "i'm a bottom" okay?? some men are born to... plow fields... some live to be great physicians, others... to be great kings. me? i was born to serve you arthur. and i'm proud of that. and i wouldn't change a thing.

Silly Little Halloween Story Idea

Hello everyone! While I'm working on my next au, I had a fun little idea for another Halloween au! I don't really have the time to flesh this out, but I wanted to share it anyways!

Basically, in this au, everything in the show goes the exact same way as in canon, including the ending. Arthur dies, and Merlin left to wander the earth without him.

Except this is Merlin we're talking about here. There's no force in the universe that's strong enough to keep Merlin from Arthur's side, not even death.

So, Merlin starts bargaining with the Sidhe, who refuse to give him any information until he forces them to talk. They reveal that Arthur's soul is resting in the Underworld while his body rested in the lake, kept pristine by its magic until the day he was fated to rise again.

Merlin then takes the natural next step of opening a portal to the Underworld and stepping through it while armed with Excalibur, ready to annihilate anything that gets in his way.

So, Merlin fights his way through the Underworld Doomslayer-style, searching for his king. There are, of course, many monsters that he fights along the way, but they're no match for Merlin's magic and the power held in Excalibur.

Finally, after fighting monsters and making his way to the center of the Underworld, a high-ranking demon finally gives him some answers: the King of the Underworld knows that Merlin is seeking out Arthur's soul, but he refuses to give Arthur back to Merlin willingly.

Merlin then begins his trek towards the King of the Dead's palace, cutting down any beast that stands in his way, until he finally faces the demonic King of the Underworld himself. It was a brutal battle, but Merlin ends up victorious and claims the throne of the Underworld for himself. The demonic monsters, who value strength above all else, are more than happy to pledge their loyalty to a stronger king than the one they had before.

No sooner than Merlin sat on the throne of the dead, he demanded that Arthur's soul be brought to him.

The demon forcibly leading Arthur into the throne room: We have done as you requested, Sire.

Arthur, upon seeing Merlin sitting on a throne with demons bowing to him: Merlin, I've only been gone for half a year, WTF?

Merlin, looking VERY demonic but overjoyed to see Arthur again:

That's all on this idea for now, but I might expand on it later! I think Merlin overthrowing the King of the Underworld and become a Demon King just to get Arthur back would be a fun story lol!

Fic Update!

Hello everyone! I've (finally) finished the latest chapter of "What to do When an Eldritch God Decides that You're Friend-Shaped: A Guide by Sir Leon the Long-Suffering"!

Here's the link if you want to check it out, and feel free to let me know what you think! 😊

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This gives me many ideas! Here's how I picture the BBC Merlin knights in each scenario!

Somebody talking to Merlin about Gwaine or Lancelot

All of the knights (plus Arthur) while simping over Merlin

All of the knights after meeting Merlin for the first time

Definitely Gwaine and Lancelot talking about what they would do with a kneeling knight emoji!

Gwen and/or Merlin with Lancelot

Gwaine talking to Merlin about why he should bring him on the quest to the Perilous Lands!

I just love the dynamic of all of the knights looking at Merlin and going "hell yeah, that's our little buddy! :) And if you hurt him we'll disembowel you! :)"

I've been seeing a lot of knight posts recently. pretty great

Do I even need to say it at this point?

I probably don't, but I will anyways.

✨

✨

Either romantic or platonic, it works either way!

Favourite ship dynamic: no one truly knows what exactly is going on between the two characters, including the characters themselves. But whatever it is, it's written in the fabric of the universe.

Day 13 (officially day 15): Grimoire

This is a bit rushed, cause I am severely lacking in time right now, but whatever. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also if I’m not replying to comments, my apologies. I’ve tried, but it doesn’t seem to work a lot of the time. I’ll reply as soon as it works again.

Writer's block do be blocking. I've been trying to work on one chapter for a fic for days and still nothing 😭

Hopefully the muse will return to me soon! In the meanwhile, please enjoy this meme!

Poll Time!

Hello everyone! I'm back with another surprise poll for you all! While I'm working on the next chapter of "What to do When an Eldritch God Decides that You're Friend-Shaped", which will hopefully be finished over the coming weekend, I want to know what au you all would like to see next! So,

Continuation of my last au where

I'm looking forward to seeing what you all choose!

Hello everyone! I'm back with another Merlin au! This one is a horror-themed au for spooky season! Enjoy!

This au is Inspired by the story of King Pedro I of Portugal and Ines de Castro (which is a heartbreaking story that deserves to have more people talking about it), and it's set in a world where Merlin and Arthur are already together in season 3. After a magic reveal gone wrong, Merlin's magic was revealed while Uther was still alive, leading to Uther ordering Merlin's execution while Arthur was away on a hunting trip. When Arthur returns, he's met with the news of Merin's death, but he refuses to believe such horrible news until he rushes into Gaius's chambers, screaming for Merlin, only to find Gaius and Gwen sobbing over Merlin's body.

Arthur is overcome by grief and, after a few hours sitting in Gaius's chambers staring at Merlin's unnaturally still form with tears streaming down his face, Arthur marches off to face his father, to make him pay for his crimes. Uther is, of course, furious over Arthur getting so worked up over a treacherous sorcerer, but Arthur fights him like a madman, fueled by grief and rage.

In the end, Arthur wins the duel, and while the shocked lords and knights watching the whole ordeal were expecting Arthur to run his father through with is blade, Arthur does something that no one expects. He uses his blade to carve open Uther's chest, cutting out his heart, saying that Uther had been so heartless as to take Arthur's love from him, this ought to be his fate.

While the lords and knights were all shocked and horrified at the display, there was little they could do besides acknowledge the prince as their new ruler. Within a couple days, Uther's funeral and Arthur's coronation were organized, but Arthur still felt numb, even as the crown was placed on his head. He could almost feel the empty consort's throne next to him, where Merlin was always supposed to be, mocking him viciously.

But then, an idea formed in Arthur's not-quite-sane-anymore mind. Merlin had always deserved to sit at his side, to be honored as any consort to a king should be. Arthur had to see this through, to ensure that Merlin received the honors that he was denied during life.

Arthur ordered the servants to, under Gaius's supervision, collect Merlin's body, dress him in royal robes, and have him carried to the throne room. There was no way to make any of this right again, no way to make Arthur feel whole once more, but there was a way to make sure that Merlin's memory and all that he meant to Arthur lived on.

When the doors to the throne room finally opened, shocked and horrified gasps rose up from the assembled court at the sight that awaited them. There, being carried in on a stone slab, lay Merlin's pale, prone body, dressed in royal finery from Arthur's own wardrobe. His colorless pallor against the rich red robes created a striking and distinctly disturbing contrast, which was only heightened by the colorful jewelry that accompanied the outfit.

Arthur imagined what a magnificent sight Merlin would have made if he were alive and yearned for such a vision with all of his heart. But the reality of the situation was as grim as the expressions of the knights carrying Merlin's body. Merlin was gone, taking Arthur heart and all of his joy with him, and all that was left for Arthur to feel was somber determination to make at least one thing right: Merlin would be honored and remembered as a king.

The crowd's shocked whispering didn't cease as the procession passed them and made its way towards the thrones, reverently placing the slab in front of the steps to the throne, but they were shocked into silence as Arthur picked up Merlin's body and cradled him gently before carrying him over to the consort's throne and placing him on it with the greatest care.

The court was silenced at the disturbing sight of a limp body sitting in the queen's throne, but horrified gasps shot up from the crowd as the king suddenly turned around to face them, his eyes bloodshot and glaring at them all.

"You, all of you, stood by and let my father do this! And now, you will show your respect to the man you had forsaken. Merlin was everything to me, and I never had any intention to rule without him by my side. Living or dead, if I am king, then so is he."

Arthur slowly made his way back to his own throne and sat down, a picture of royal power. His eyes darted over to Merlin for a second, before shifting back over the crowd. Still, was it just Arthur's desperate imagination, or was there now a slight flush in Merlin's skin that wasn't there earlier?

"Just as you all knelt before me and took an oath of fealty, you will do the same for him. You will give him all of the honor he deserved in life."

At first, the lords in attendance just looked at him in utter disbelief, but the fierce glare Arthur sent them confirmed that the king was being entirely serious. Slowly, each of the lords knelt before the consort's throne, not daring to look up at the disturbing sight before them, and recited their oaths of fealty, feeling the king's burning gaze on them all the while.

Finally, after all of the lords had taken their oaths, a pale Geoffrey presented Arthur with the consort's crown, a treasure that had not been seen by anyone since Ygraine's passing. Arthur gingerly lifted the crown and made his way over to Merlin.

As he stepped closer, Arthur wanted to weep. Perhaps it was some cruel trick his mind was playing on him, put it looked like Merlin's color had returned to him, making him appear like he was only sleeping, like he would wake up and everything would be fine again.

Taking a steadying breath to hold his tears at bay, Arthur finally stepped right in front of Merlin, holding the crown over his motionless head. It wasn't fair, Arthur decided. It wasn't fair that Arthur had finally become king, was finally in a place where he could openly profess his love for Merlin, but Merlin wasn't here by his side to see it!

Still, he could let everyone else see his love for Merlin. Slowly, he lowered the crown onto Merlin's head, letting rest on his limp head. Arthur took a shaking step back, trembling with rage and grief as he looked at Merlin, bedecked in royal robes and wearing the crown that Arthur had always longest to give him. Arthur's own mind still mocked him, making Merlin look almost alive again, like he was only sleeping, when Arthur when that Merlin was gone, and all that was left of him was this pale, empty shell and a terrible hollowness in Arthur's chest where his heart was supposed to be.

Arthur tenderly gasped Merlin's chin, tilting his head up to face him. This was goodbye, Arthur knew it. After this, Merlin would be laid to rest with all the honors of a king, and Arthur would be left ruling over his kingdom alone and heartbroken for the rest of his days. With tears flowing freely down his face, Arthur leaned down and pressed a kiss onto Merlin's lips. Once again, Arthur's mind took pity on him, as he could swear that Merlin's lips were warm with life under his own.

Arthur drew back, gazing at his love's face for what might be the last time, attempting to commit every minute detail to memory, such that Merlin's likeness would never fade from his mind even as the years went by. As Arthur eyes scanned over Merlin's face, however, there was one thing that struck him as odd before his mind caught up to what he was seeing and his heart, which had felt cold and frozen fir days, started beating at a frantic rhythm.

Because Merlin's eyes were open.

(Yes, Merlin was immortal the whole time, but his magic was just taking a while to heal him lol!)

And that's all for now! I hope you all enjoyed this au! Let me know if you'd like to see a continuation!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

Arthur: If I need Merlin more than I realize, then I'm pretty sure my heart would simply stop beating if Merlin isn't within shouting distance of me at all times.

The Druids, who know about all of the times Merlin saves Arthur from magical harm: sweating because he isn't entirely wrong, but for a reason he doesn't know yet

Druid: you need him more than you realize

Arthur: Merlin?

Druid: yes

Arthur: ... You mean...

Druids: it may not sound credible-

Arthur: the guy dresses me, feeds me, does my job for me when I'm tired, offers me advise and insight, he keeps me in check and from turning into a tyrant and you're telling me I need him more than I realize?

Say yes to the dress💅

Yup, insulting Arthur or making Arthur sad in front of Merlin is Camelot's equivalent to setting off ye olde nuclear warhead! It never ends well.

Someone: *insults Arthur*

Merlin:

I love the idea of Merlin's magic being sentient and completely thirsty for Arthur! 😂

And Merlin himself isn't any less thirsty, he just has a better understanding of what's socially acceptable. His magic isn't quite on board with the idea that it's considered rude to take some of your crush's blood and mix it with pure magic to create a new soul as an offspring.

Council: Sir, you have to get married soon!!!! People demand an heir!!!!

Arthur: *gay panic* I'm pregnant!

Council: what?

Arthur: *points at Merlin*: it's his!!!

Merlin: what?

Arthur: it's a magic thing! Magic did this! *Whispering* thank god magic is legal now*

Merlin's magic: can we? Can we???? He basically allowed this just now!!! Please!!!

Merlin: no!! We're going to ask him first!!!

the absolutely LETHAL face card that is s5 merlin… bamf!merlin truthers rise!

*Cough* Arthur Pendragon *cough*

Sorry, ya'll hear something?

best thing you can do with a repressed character is hit them with various hammers and sharp objects until they crack open to reveal beautiful sparkling homosexuality inside. geode guy

Headcanon that Geoffrey of Monmouth isn’t actually a thicc sir, he just learned to keep his most important books strapped to him at all times in case Uther gets the urge for another book burning. Boy’s glutes are two history of magic tomes and they’re rock hard.

post magic reveal arthur is like “:/ mmm i’ll open up communications with the druids but idk about repealing the ban :/“ and merlin is like “??? why??” and arthur’s like “well magic is evil, that’s all i’ve been taught and all i know. i know you’re not evil but idk about other sorcerers, i can’t just let them free.” and merlin’s like “what’ll get you to consider it” and arthur’s like “well you say that magic isn’t something you chose, it choses you. alright, but people still chose to use it.” and merlin who has never followed this train of thought before is like,,, “you wanna test it? experiment? i can stop using my magic and we’ll see what happens” and arthur who has been playing his father’s lessons on magic through his head for the past like month since he found out and has been trying to figure out a way to get merlin to stop corrupting his soul jumps on the opportunity and is like “great idea :] nothing could go wrong :] you stop corrupting yourself and i don’t have to set magic free :]”

merlin stops using his magic for everything. he makes a conscious effort to force it all down and away and the first few days pass by fine. then he starts to get a little dizzy and then he gets spacey and distracted but not rambly, just staring off into space. then he’s just like. not there anymore. druids come to camelot to speak with arthur but can’t stop staring at merlin and eventually cut the conversation off to point at merlin and ask whats wrong with him

when they find out whats been going on they go all “oh shit” and urge everyone to stand still and not make a move. arthur inquires and they answer. magic has built up within him. magics natural state is free, it wishes to be used and to fly free, to be cooped up within someone is like caging a wild stallion. it bucks and kicks at the gate, bites at its handlers, and fights like hell to be set free. the magic thats been trapped within merlin for a couple of weeks is practically tearing him apart from the inside trying to set itself free. but! they can’t just tell him to use magic here. even the smallest use of magic would be a crack in a dam that would crumble like ash and set all the magic free. and with all that magic - all of emrys’s magic? he could very well flatten the city.

they cautiously, EXTREMELY cautiously, guide merlin out of the room, out of the castle, and into the middle of the woods. they urged everyone (who followed which is like arthur and his knights) back and out of the forest. then from a distance, the eldest druid mentally reached out to merlin and instructed him to let his magic loose. within seconds a blast of pure golden light shoots forth and flattens the entire forest, the druids casting a large shield to protect themselves, arthur, and his men.

merlin staggers to his feet in the distance and the eldest druid reaches out again, for safe measure, and tells him to let loose once more. merlin obeys and reaches down into the ground and pulls all the trees back up and imbues them with life so they thrive once more. the druids claim the forest as their own, sacred by order of emrys. arthur allows it. and then goes home to draft up a magic ban repeal. and an apology to merlin.

Sigan: Arthur will tremble at your voice. He will kneel at your feet.

*Long pause before Merlin responds compared to any of Sigan's other statments as Merlin asks himself why certain aspects of this idea are apealing. Then Merlin reminds himself HOW Sigan means this before he can figure out his feels.*

Merlin: I don't want that.

How "The Last Dragonlord" Should've Ended:

Merlin, pointing a spear at Kilgharrah: Tell me the name of god you scaly piece of shit!

Kilgharrah: Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your magic can make. You cannot kill me in any way that matters.

Merlin: I'M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU!!

Arthur, concussed and laying on the ground overhearing this exchange: ????

I should probably mention that this fic features an alternate timeline where Merlin sacrificed himself for Arthur at Camlann, leading to Arthur inheriting Merlin's magic and going mad trying to get Merlin back, even going so far as to travel to another timeline where Merlin's still alive 👀

Hello everyone! You all remember how I said I was working on something special to celebrate some tumblr milestones? Well, my surprise project is finished!

To celebrate both reaching 500 (500! holy cow!) followers and my 100th post, I decided to challenge myself! So, I joined @merlin-fic-server's Tournament of Champions, a challenge for Merlin fic writers, fan artists, and podfic makers! The challenge for writers that I chose was to write a new 10k fic based on a randomly generated prompt in 24 hours.

I've never participated in anything like this before, but it felt nice to challenge myself! The result is a fic both fits with the usual themes of my stories (like characters getting put in ridiculous situations), but it's also different from anything I've ever written before, feeling a bit more grounded than my usual silly writing.

So, I'd like to thank you all! I never could have imagined that this blog would bring me and so many people so much joy, and I wouldn't have been inspired to challenge myself if it wasn't for you support! You all have been amazing to me, and I'm looking forward to sharing more of my unhinged ramblings with this fandom!

For now, I hope you all enjoy this little experiment of mine! I'll see you all next time! :D

If any of the knights possessed a single observant brain cell, Merlin would be in a lot of trouble lol!

I absolutely love this, it's giving me some ideas!

What if magic, the ambient natural magic of the world, loved Arthur? It recognizes Arthur as its own creation, destined to be with its physical form one day. So, even before Merlin and Arthur met, the magic of the world loved Arthur, knowing what he would one day become to Merlin.

As Arthur grows up, the magic that exists around Camelot aids him in whatever way it can. It can't do much without a sorcerer harnessing and guiding it, but it can influence the world around it in subtle ways, with a conveniently placed root tripping over an attacker here, or a branch falling from a tree there. Nothing that couldn't just be written off as good luck, but it happens so frequently for Arthur that he assumes that it's normal. After all, he's never known anything else.

So, when Merlin finally arrives and takes Arthur's protection into his own hands, Arthur doesn't notice anything amiss. Tree branches fall and knock out bandits all the time, that's just what always happens. His opponents, no matter how experienced, trip over roots. That's just the way it goes, nothing out of the ordinary.

So, when Leon tries to explain to Arthur that no, your attackers suddenly being rendered unconscious is not normal, Arthur doesn't buy it.

When Leon tries to prove it to Arthur the next time bandits attack, Leon's opponent is succinctly tripped over by a root and crushed by a falling tree. Leon just stands there in shock, while Arthur walks over like "See, I told you so! That's always what happens during fights! It always has."

And Leon's just standing there trying to figure out a) what the actual fuck just happened and b) how his king was such an oblivious dumbass.

Meanwhile, Merlin's laughing his ass off in the background.

*after battle*

Leon: Something strange is going on. During that fight a tree just... fell on one of the bandits when he was about to kill me

Arthur: Don't be ridiculous, trees and buildings and chandeliers fall on people I'm fighting all the time. It's normal

Leon: What?

Merlin: Hey look a distraction!

Hello everyone! You all remember how I said I was working on something special to celebrate some tumblr milestones? Well, my surprise project is finished!

To celebrate both reaching 500 (500! holy cow!) followers and my 100th post, I decided to challenge myself! So, I joined @merlin-fic-server's Tournament of Champions, a challenge for Merlin fic writers, fan artists, and podfic makers! The challenge for writers that I chose was to write a new 10k fic based on a randomly generated prompt in 24 hours.

I've never participated in anything like this before, but it felt nice to challenge myself! The result is a fic both fits with the usual themes of my stories (like characters getting put in ridiculous situations), but it's also different from anything I've ever written before, feeling a bit more grounded than my usual silly writing.

So, I'd like to thank you all! I never could have imagined that this blog would bring me and so many people so much joy, and I wouldn't have been inspired to challenge myself if it wasn't for you support! You all have been amazing to me, and I'm looking forward to sharing more of my unhinged ramblings with this fandom!

For now, I hope you all enjoy this little experiment of mine! I'll see you all next time! :D

I wasn't planning on posting this today, but this idea came to me today and I must share it! (I'm still working on my special au to celebrate two big tumblr milestones! Hopefully it'll be done by the end of the week!)

With all of the dehumanizing propaganda labelling magic users as "inhuman monsters" that Uther spread during the purge, people who are attracted to magic users are probably labelled as deviants. In Camelot, saying "yeah I'd bang a wizard" is considered completely taboo. But that doesn't stop people from fantasying about what they can't have.

This, of course, spawns a whole genre of steamy romance manuscripts featuring evil sorcerers kidnapping fair maidens and falling in love with them, powerful wizards seducing innocent princess with their dark magics, dark and broody warlocks tricking naive ladies into becoming their lovers through a devil's bargain, etc. These cheesy romance manuscripts are quite popular with the ladies of Camelot, as they have a forbidden aspect to them in both the owning of such stories and the material of the stories themselves. Plus, when you're a noblewoman trapped in a loveless political marriage, the fantasy of a dark and powerful magic user becoming enamored with them and stealing them away is quite the appealing fantasy.

To many people in Camelot, magic users become the ultimate forbidden romance fantasy, being (in their imaginations) secretive and powerful creatures who can use their magic to exert their will and their dark desires on their innocent victims.

The few people in Camelot who have actually slept with magic users don't help these rumors either, as they only add fuel to the fire. Gwaine certainly has plenty of stories to share about how much fun sorcerers and witches can be in bed with their magic, and the people in the tavern listen with rapt attention and furious blushing when he tells those stories.

But when tales of Emrys, the last dragonlord and the most powerful sorcerer to ever live, travel from the druids to Camelot? The wizard-fuckers in Camelot went wild.

Within a couple weeks, there were dozens of steamy (and VERY imaginative) romance novels and manuscripts written and passed around Camelot, all revolving around the mysterious and brooding warlock Emrys.

As people's dirty imaginations ran wild with what Emrys might be like, the general perception of Emrys became more and more ridiculous. According to some of these stories, Emrys was a seven foot tall brooding warlock whose magic made him irresistible, forcing people to succumb to his will.

Pretty much everyone in Camelot gets their hands on one of these manuscripts or hears about them. Gwaine has his own collection of them, which isn't too shocking to anyone, but, to everyone's surprise, Merlin starts collecting some of those stories too (to make sure that no one else gets their hands of such embarrassing material, but people just assume that he has some sort of kink). He even blushes whenever someone mentions them (out of mortification).

Eventually, Arthur finds out about his kingdom's dirty fascination with this Emrys guy because people kept teasing Merlin for his crush on Emrys. Arthur demands to know who Merlin has fallen for (for security reasons, of course, not because he's jealous). It's at that point that Gwen and the knights have to tell Arthur that his entire kingdom (including Merlin apparently) has been thirsting over a hot mysterious sorcerer that no one actually knows anything about.

Arthur almost blows up when he hears this, furious that his entire kingdom has been having dirty fantasies about a dangerous man who's most likely their enemy! And don't even get him started on how Merlin, his Merlin, has the audacity to be more attracted to this Emrys than Arthur himself! This is outrageous!

However, no matter how much Arthur tries to point out to Merlin that being attracted to Emrys is a bad idea and nothing will ever come of it anyways, he still keeps on catching Merlin with those dirty manuscripts about Emrys! (Because Merlin is still trying to secretly get rid of them all).

Eventually, Arthur gets frustrated enough that he'll try anything to get Merlin's attention away from Emrys. He thinks over how he could do that for a while, until one day he overheard two ladies of the court talking about how much they enjoyed it when their partners in bed roleplayed as a powerful magic user like Emrys, and Arthur begrudging came to a solution.

The next day, when Arthur catches Merlin reading a story about Emrys and blushing wildly again, Arthur clears his throat, looks a mortified Merlin dead in the eyes, and asks, "if I took you to bed and pretended to be Emrys while doing so, would that finally get you over your ridiculous attraction to this criminal of a sorcerer?"

Arthur was perhaps a bit too blunt in his delivery, as Merlin promptly started choking on air after Arthur's question in lieu of an answer, much to Arthur's annoyance. You see, as much as it would irritate Arthur to have to pretend to be another man, let alone an enemy sorcerer, in bed, Arthur had a plan.

Arthur obviously needed to rein in Merlin's lust before his servant did anything stupid (like fall into bed with an actual dangerous sorcerer), and what better way to do that than slake Merlin's lust himself? Truly, Arthur was the most generous king there ever was (ignoring his own rampant attraction towards Merlin). And once they were in bed, Arthur would prove to Merlin how great and how proficient a lover he is, and any thoughts of Emrys (or any man who wasn't Arthur for that matter), would be forgotten immediately in the face of how superior Arthur is!

Arthur mentally pats himself on the back for coming up with this genius plan as Merlin's coughing fit finally ends.

"Arthur, why on earth would you even ask that?!"

"Because you're clearly enamored with this sorcerer, so perhaps this will finally get that stupidity out of your system!"

They go back and forth like this for a while, until finally Merlin, to his own shock, agrees to Arthur's proposal. Arthur feels alight with victory for a few minutes, until he realizes that he'll have to learn how to act convincingly like a powerful sorcerer for one night. At that point, Arthur goes out to buy some dark robes for himself to hopefully get more into character, and even "studies" some of those spicy manuscripts to get an idea of what Merlin would be expecting.

Arthur barely managed to finish one of them from how scandalized he was at their contents. Why were these so popular with his subjects?! Still, Arthur soldiered on, reading more and more of the embarrassing romance manuscripts until he finally felt confident in what Merlin was looking for.

Of course, when the time came, Arthur was terrible at roleplaying as a sorcerer, but Merlin didn't mind one bit (most because Merlin was torn between laughing hysterically or being embarrassed beyond belief at at Arthur's poor impersonation of a poor interpretation of Merlin himself, so he decided to instead just enjoy being with Arthur).

And that's all for now! I'm thinking about doing a continuation of this later on, where Camelot (who's been thirsting over Emrys) learns that Merlin had been Emrys all along. Please let me know if you'd like to see that one day!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D