Randydandy0h

Ironic Moments Dump

CLIMATE 👏🏾 CHANGE 👏🏾 IS 👏🏾 NOT 👏🏾 A 👏🏾 HOAX

“My solitude is sacred. I won’t let anyone take it from me anymore—”

— Margarita Karapanou, tr. by Karen Emmerich, from “Rien ne va Plus,”

<3

All dogs need and love jobs

dogs with jobs

That's not how it works...

Context: me and some friends are playing pen and paper fallout, basically if dnd and fallout had a baby. This game has a bunch of d100 rolls where a high roll is actually very bad. We were raiding a super mutant camp and one bad roll led to another…

DM: the mutant is charging forward at you, you can roll to attack.

Friend 1: I take out my Magnum and…

DM: what?

Friend 1: uh…

Me: oh shit he got a bad roll. Calling it right now.

Friend 1: just promise me you won’t do anything dumb with this.

Friend 2: SHOOT HIM IN THE DICK

Friend 1: …I got an 89

DM: upon pulling your gun out, you fire too early, and shoot yourself in the dick. Roll for damage

Friend 1: God damn it man. *rolls a d6* I got a 1

DM: you end up circumcised by the bullet.

Friend 1: THAT’S NOT HOW THAT BULLSHIT WORKS

Friend 2 and the DM just die laughing as friend 1 is arguing about getting circumcised.

JOYLESS

[Unlimited Hate, Black Metal, Norway, ATMF (republication), 1996 (2018 for the republication)]

- https://atmfsssdtp.bandcamp.com/album/unlimited-hate