Context: me and some friends are playing pen and paper fallout, basically if dnd and fallout had a baby. This game has a bunch of d100 rolls where a high roll is actually very bad. We were raiding a super mutant camp and one bad roll led to another…
DM: the mutant is charging forward at you, you can roll to attack.
Friend 1: I take out my Magnum and…
DM: what?
Friend 1: uh…
Me: oh shit he got a bad roll. Calling it right now.
Friend 1: just promise me you won’t do anything dumb with this.
Friend 2: SHOOT HIM IN THE DICK
Friend 1: …I got an 89
DM: upon pulling your gun out, you fire too early, and shoot yourself in the dick. Roll for damage
Friend 1: God damn it man. *rolls a d6* I got a 1
DM: you end up circumcised by the bullet.
Friend 1: THAT’S NOT HOW THAT BULLSHIT WORKS
Friend 2 and the DM just die laughing as friend 1 is arguing about getting circumcised.
“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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The Ancient of Days, 1794, William Blake
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