Ok Satellites Are All Alone Up There Just Searching For Everything And Anything And It’s So Beautiful

Have seen a lot of people say they've never heard of Malevolent in the last couple of days, so here's my pitch. Malevolent is a show in which a small British man gouges someone's eyes out with his bare fucking hands while the Eldritch entity that lives in his head pleads with him to get control of himself.

Happy Belated Birthday, Sev! 🎉

Sherlock and Mycroft Holmes attend regular-people school for one year as children. 

Great shenanigans ensue.

Do not use without my permission.

Sherlock: Zugzwang.

Me: *criminal minds flashbacks* HUH

I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled. 

I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1.  the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “…You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside. 

Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY

Humans Are Weird

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

Genuine Zodiac Signs

Unused Printer Ink Cartridge: January 20 – February 18

Stain of Unknown Origin: February 19 – March 20

Wooden Stool from my Grandma’s House: March 21 – April 19

Cast Iron Cornbread Pan : April 20 – May 20

0.5 lb of Sushi Grade Salmon: May 21 – June 20

Small Green Pencil Sharpener: June 21 – July 22

Block of Velveeta Cheese: July 23 – August 22

Pair of Dirty Leather Gloves: August 23 – September 22

Bar of Unscented Hand Soap: September 23 – October 22

Guy Fieri’s Sunglasses: October 23 – November 21

Thoroughly Squeezed Tube of Toothpaste: November 22 – December 21

Mostly Empty Takeout Container: December 22 – January 19

Also what the fuck was the im sorry dance. They really just did that and there was no further context. One of them said "do a silly little jig for my forgiveness" one day and they both just. Committed. What is wrong with them I wanna study them under a microscope

Pink Gauze & Glitter Glue

In season 2 I want them to reappear as kids.

I want them to get up and for Ben to be alive. I want Ben to be angry at everyone because of how they treated Klaus, and shrug off everyone's hugs and greetings. Smiling and nodding towards Vanya and Diego as Klaus is clinging onto him like hes his only lifeline (he might as well be).

I want Klaus to step back.

I want him to instinctively reach for dog tags that should be around his neck, a habit developed over 10 long months for whenever he felt anything remotely negative.

I want him to feel nothing and look down in panic as his siblings have a stare off in the background. Allison and Luther pushing Ben for answers on why hes so cold.

I want Ben to turn towards Klaus and I want to see the exact moment Ben realizes something is wrong.

I want Klaus to start hyperventilating as his world zeros in on the fact that they're in the past, that his clothes didn't transfer through time travel, that hes stuck in his old academy uniform and that he's missing Dave's dog tags.

Hes missing Dave's dog tags.

He's missing Dave's dog tags.

They're gone.

They didn’t transfer through time travel.

I want Klaus to realize. I want Ben to realize.

And then.

I want.

To see him...

break.

Klaus has gone through so much and I want him to sob, I want him to claw at his chest and release blood curdling screams of emotional agony as his last connection to Dave is severed.

I want Ben to pull him in his arms and hold him as Klaus shatters.

Klaus, already a pile of shards, already only held together by pink gauze and glitter glue.

And in that moment he changes.

As Ben screams at his siblings in righteous fury, finally cracking under their accusing stares. Every wrong they’ve ever committed towards Klaus spilling past his lips like a never ending stream of poison.

I want Klaus to go blank.

A blankness that Five is intimately aware of, one that is part of him still. A blankness that he never would wish on any of his siblings, one that he came back to prevent.

I want him to go blank. The blank of someone who has forgotten happiness. I want him to stand up and wipe his face, I want him to stare at his siblings, zeroing in on Luther, and turn.

I want a dark Klaus. One who suffers from extreme PTSD and anxiety. One who can stand in the middle of a battlefield and calmly load a revolver and shoot every person perfectly in the forehead. One who still makes dirty jokes (now twisted and macbre and no longer finny) and wears extravagant clothes (only in pitch black). One who still does his nails in neon colors and smudges his eyeliner everywhere (now only a routine force of habit and not because it brings happiness), but also one who is a shadow of his former self.

I want a Klaus who is broken, bruised, shattered, torn. I want a Klaus whose pieces have turned to shards. Whose gauze is now barbed wire and whose glitter glue is now acid.

I want a Klaus who has an obvious, terrifying, plastic smile. I want him to willingly torture, hurt, kill and maim. I want him cold, cynical, apathetic, harsh, downright cruel.

And then

I want him to get better. I want him to change, to learn to let go, to free himself. And in the very last season I want him to smile; a bright, sunny, happy thing; crack a very Klaus joke; don his feather boa; grab his pink rimmed umbrella; shimmy into his tight lace up pants, sheer crop top, black coat and 6 inch death wish heels; and I want him to stroll into the sunset dancing to music on his I pod and singing a happy little tune.

I want Allison to whisper, with tears in her eyes that that was his first real smile in years (hell maybe decades) as she shares a grin with her siblings.

Because recovery is part of the journey, and they deserve to be happy too.

No matter how twisted their family is.

I was planning to take a small social media break but I saw the amazing headcanon that Argyle and Billy might have been friends in California! It such a sweet idea that I just had to draw something with that :) There’s something so special about childhood friendships and having seen someone through everything including growth spurts and the preteen awkward phase! And in a scenario where Billy lived, seeing that pizza van would be like some sort of miracle after everything he’s endured.