summary: you’ve been in love with heeseung for as long as you can remember, but to him, you’ve always just been the best friend—reliable, familiar, safe. so when you hear him say he doesn’t see you that way, you decide it’s time to stop. stop caring, stop hoping. but ignoring someone you’ve loved for years is harder than it sounds… especially when he starts acting like he doesn’t want you to stop.
genre: fluff | best friends to lovers
characters: best friend!heeseungx f!reader
words: 7.6k
warnings: none i think!
a/n: and here is my first enha fic!!!! <3<3 and yes heeseung is my bias
You don’t even remember when it started.
Maybe it was the first time Heeseung flashed you that ridiculously charming smile on your very first day of kindergarten—doe eyes, dimpled cheeks, and a shy little wave like he was offering you his entire heart with just a look.
Or maybe it was that time in middle school when he forgot there was a major history exam and you stayed up until 2 a.m. making color-coded flashcards for him, highlighters smudged on your fingers and worry tugging at your chest. He showed up the next morning at your door, hair a mess, holding a bag of greasy Chinese takeout and two cans of your favorite peach soda.
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" he said, in that effortless, playful way of his, ruffling your hair like you were some helpful little puppy.
You laughed, but your heart did a triple somersault.
Love. He said it like it was casual.
Not knowing it felt like a confession to you.
Truth is, it only got worse from there.
Your unrequited love? It grew legs and started running wild.
You became that friend. The one in the front row of every basketball game, waving a glittery sign that said "LEE HEESEUNG" like your life depended on it. The one who always brought him coffee after his late-night study sessions, who memorized the snacks he liked at the convenience store, who texted him good luck before every presentation even though he always forgot yours.
And Heeseung would flash that same boyish grin—the one that made your knees a little weak—and casually sling an arm around your shoulders.
“Man, I don’t know who I am without you,” he’d say, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
And you? You’d fall just a little harder.
Just a little. But it added up.
You didn’t mean for it to. You tried to keep your heart in check. But all those little things—the inside jokes, the shoulder bumps in the hallway, the way he said your name—slowly stitched themselves into something deeper. Something messier. Something real.
Heeseung never treated you like you were just anyone. That was the cruel part.
Like that time you got lost at one of his away games. You’d shown up early, too excited, only to realize you had no idea where to go. The school was huge, the gym impossible to find, and every hallway looked the same.
And then—there he was.
Heeseung, panting, scanning the sea of people until his eyes landed on you.
“There you are,” he breathed out, like he hadn’t just run halfway across campus. His brows furrowed like he was worried, and before you could say anything, he grabbed your wrist.
“C’mon,” he murmured, pulling you through the crowd like you were something precious he needed to protect. He didn’t let go—not even when the noise got louder or people jostled you. Somewhere along the way, he slid your bag off your shoulder and carried it himself.
He only let go once you were seated, right in the front row.
“There,” he said, still a little breathless. “Gotcha here safe and sound.”
Then he jogged off, leaving your heart pounding, your bag heavy in your lap, and a quiet kind of warmth blooming in your chest.
You found out later that he’d skipped the team’s pre-game drills just to look for you. As team captain, he was supposed to be rallying the others—but instead, he was making sure you weren’t lost.
Coach made him run three extra laps.
“I’m sorry,” you told him, guilt curling in your stomach.
Heeseung just laughed, brushing his damp hair back and flashing you that familiar grin. “It’s okay. I kinda liked looking for you.”
Moments like that—where he made you feel like the center of the universe—those were the hardest.
Because deep down, you always knew he didn’t see you the way you saw him.
The final straw came a few weeks later.
You’d been waiting by the bleachers again, holding his jacket like you always did, when you overheard Jake teasing him.
“She’s here again. You two are practically glued together. You sure you’re not… boinking?”
Heeseung laughed. “Boinking?”
Your heart fluttered. Just a little.
Then he said it. With zero hesitation.
“She’s cute. A great friend. But I don’t see her that way.”
Friend.
The word echoed in your head like a slap.
And just like that, something inside you snapped.
The next morning, you opened your journal, flipped to a blank page, and wrote in bold, all-caps letters:
HOW TO NOT FALL IN LOVE (feat. Lee Heeseung)
Goal: Stop giving a damn about Lee Heeseung. Duration: One month.
And for the first time in forever, you meant it.
Really, really meant it.
—
The next day at school, you walked through the gates with an air of fake confidence and a heart wrapped in duct tape. This was it. Day one.
No more overshooting your texts to Heeseung. No more waiting by the court with his water bottle. No more volunteering to help him with homework he didn’t even remember to start. He was perfectly capable of surviving without you.
Probably.
But the moment you saw him in the courtyard, laughing at something Jake said, your heart betrayed you.
Your hand lifted in an automatic wave before you even realized what you were doing. And—ugh—was that a smile forming?
You gasped like you'd caught yourself mid-crime and yanked your hand back down with enough force to nearly dislocate your shoulder. You spun around so fast your bag almost knocked over a freshman. You tried to act cool, casually pretending the ground was the most fascinating thing you'd ever seen.
Behind you, Heeseung paused, confused. He blinked. Tilted his head. Squinted at your retreating back like he was trying to solve a very strange math equation.
But then he shrugged it off. Probably nothing.
Probably.
Too bad he didn’t know this was just the beginning of the end.
—-
“This little tough girl act,” Sunghoon said with a smirk, reaching into your popcorn bucket like he had every right. “How long do you think it’s going to last?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, pulling the bucket closer. “Keep your hands out of my popcorn, you menace.”
Out on the court, Heeseung was practicing, all focused determination and smooth movements. You were trying—not entirely successfully—not to watch him. You’d even worn sunglasses. Indoors. As if they could protect your heart.
“Come on,” Sunghoon drawled. “Don’t pretend I didn’t see you freeze up this morning when he smiled at you like a puppy with a college degree.”
You exhaled sharply. “It was a momentary lapse in judgment.”
“Right. And I’m the Prime Minister of Canada.”
With a dramatic sigh, you leaned back against the bleachers. “I’m serious this time. One month. No more hopeless pining. No more letting him carry my bag like we’re a couple. No more doodling ‘Mr. and Mrs. Heeseung’ in the margins of my notebooks.”
“You still do that?”
“I–No.”
Sunghoon laughed under his breath.
You risked a glance at the court.
Mistake.
Heeseung dribbled the ball between his legs and sank a perfect shot, his lips tugging into that maddeningly confident smile, turning to you..
And, shamefully, you made a noise. A small, undignified sound that gave you away entirely.
Sunghoon gave you a long, knowing look. “You’re doomed.”
“I am not doomed,” you said, clutching your popcorn like a shield. “I’m just... recalibrating. This is emotional detox.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re detoxing the way someone digs a chocolate wrapper out of the trash.”
You groaned. “Why are you even here?”
“Free snacks. And the immense satisfaction of watching you pretend you’ve moved on.”
You stuffed a handful of popcorn in your mouth, avoiding his gaze. Because, regrettably, he wasn’t wrong.
And worse? You missed Heeseung. More than you cared to admit. Everything reminded you of him. A bouncing basketball. A laugh down the hallway. A lamppost that was, in your defense, approximately his height and general vibe.
This was going to be the longest month of your life.
—
Heeseung was starting to notice.
At first, it was little things. You stopped walking with him after class. You sat further away during lunch. You didn’t show up at practice with your usual energy, pretending to be absorbed in something else when he looked your way. It was subtle but to him, it felt like someone had lowered the volume on his favorite song.
He found himself scanning the bleachers more than usual, eyes flicking toward the spots where you usually sat, only to find them empty or occupied by someone else. You were still around, just... not with him.
Jake noticed first.
“You good?” he asked during water break, glancing at Heeseung who was frowning at his phone.
“Yeah,” Heeseung replied, not looking up. “I just... I don’t know. Have you talked to her lately?”
Jake raised a brow. “She was literally just at lunch.”
“She barely said a word to me.”
Jake took a long sip from his bottle. “Maybe she’s busy.”
Heeseung nodded, but it didn’t feel like busy. It felt like... distant. Like you were pulling away, and he didn’t know why.
He scrolled back through your messages. There weren’t any unread ones. Just a few recent texts from him that you’d responded to with short answers. No smiley faces. No exclamation marks. Just plain, flat replies.
And it bothered him more than he wanted to admit.
He was used to your messages being filled with too many emojis, random inside jokes, and links to memes you knew he’d find stupid but would laugh at anyway. You hadn’t even sent him your usual “good luck” before the last game.
Heeseung didn’t say anything out loud, but he could feel it—a little ache forming. Like something was shifting. Like something he’d taken for granted was slipping away.
And he didn’t know how to ask you why.
—
You were power-walking down the hallway like a woman on a mission—head high, steps brisk, thoughts screaming something along the lines of Do not look back. Do not turn around. You are ice. You are steel. You are—
“Hey!”
You nearly tripped over your own feet.
Heeseung.
You turned around slowly—casually, you hoped—and gave him what you prayed was a totally normal smile. Not awkward. Not panicked. Not like your internal monologue was screaming.
“Oh! Hi,” you said, like your voice hadn’t just jumped an octave.
He jogged the last few steps to reach you, a little out of breath, but still managing that soft, easy smile of his. “Didn’t see you after practice this week.”
“Oh,” you said quickly. “Yeah, I’ve just been… around. Super busy.”
“Busy?” he echoed, tilting his head slightly. “With?”
You blinked. “Uh, Yearbook Committee.”
His brows knit together. “I didn’t know you were in the Yearbook Committee.”
“I’m… new,” you added, voice trailing off as your brain gave up on its own excuse.
There was a beat of silence, but he didn’t push. Just nodded slowly, like he was trying to make sense of it all.
Then he smiled again—gentle, like always. “Well, I was just wondering if you were free to—”
“Oh no, sorry!” you cut in, way too fast. “I have to go walk Sunghoon.”
He blinked. “Walk... Sunghoon? The third year student from Algebra?”
“Yes,” you said, forcing a bright smile. “He’s full of energy. If I don’t walk him, he gets cranky. Like a puppy.”
He stared at you, clearly confused. His lips parted like he wanted to ask another question, but instead, he just... laughed. Not a mocking laugh—more like he didn’t quite know what else to do with this absurd turn of conversation.
“Okay. Well… I guess I’ll see you later then?”
“Yup! Later!” you squeaked, turning around so fast you nearly dropped your bag.
You could feel his gaze on you as you walked away—light, warm, lingering. Like he was trying to figure you out.
And you? You were trying not to look back. Trying not to feel how much you missed being around him. How much you wanted to stay.
Because the truth was: you missed him. You missed you with him.
But you’d started something. And for now, you had to stick to it.
Even if it sucked.
—
Heeseung swore something was off.
You weren’t gone, exactly. You still passed him in the hallways. Still laughed a little too loudly with Sunghoon and Jay at lunch. Still wore that bright-colored scarf he once said made you look like a strawberry popsicle.
But you weren’t with him.
Not the way you used to be.
He sat on the edge of the court after practice, towel around his neck, eyes scanning the bleachers again. He hated how natural the motion had become. How instinctive it was to search for you—even when he knew you wouldn’t be there.
Jake flopped down beside him, cracking open a sports drink. “You good?”
“Yeah,” Heeseung muttered.
“You don’t sound like it.”
Heeseung shrugged, chewing at the inside of his cheek. “Have you noticed... she’s been different?”
Jake raised a brow. “You mean how she’s not orbiting you like a lovesick planet anymore?”
Heeseung shot him a glare. “That’s not what I meant.”
Jake took a slow sip of his drink. “Isn’t it?”
Heeseung didn’t answer.
Because maybe it was what he meant.
Maybe he had gotten used to you being everywhere. At his games. At his side. Texting him about nothing and everything. Laughing at his dumb jokes. Holding out his bag like it belonged more to you than to him.
And now? Now the silence felt sharp. Uncomfortable.
He scrolled through his messages again. No new ones from you. The last conversation ended with your half-hearted “haha yeah” two days ago.
You didn’t even send him a good luck text before his test today. You always sent him one. Usually something stupid like “Don’t choke! But if you do, make it dramatic so you can retake it with pity points.” It used to make him laugh. It used to calm him down.
Today, he hadn’t laughed before the test.
And he hadn’t done all that well, either.
He sighed, tipping his head back against the wall of the gym.
He didn’t know what had changed. But something had.
And he was starting to think he really didn’t like it.
—
Heeseung wasn’t looking for you.
He absolutely, definitely, one hundred percent was not looking for you.
He just happened to glance over at the courtyard. That’s all.
And okay, maybe his eyes landed on you instantly—like a magnet snapping into place. You were standing with Sunghoon and Jay, your laugh bright and easy, head tipped back like you didn’t have a single worry in the world.
And then Sunghoon did it.
He leaned in and ruffled your hair.
Casual. Familiar.
Too familiar.
Heeseung’s stomach twisted.
He didn’t understand it at first. Not really. He just kept staring, a weird sort of tightness building in his chest, like something was pressing down on him. And then—just to make it worse—Sunghoon said something that made you laugh again. You reached out and lightly shoved his shoulder, still smiling, completely unaware of the storm brewing across the courtyard.
Jake noticed immediately.
“You’re staring again,” he said, biting into an apple with all the serenity of someone enjoying the drama but pretending not to.
“I’m not,” Heeseung muttered.
“Your eyes haven’t left her for five minutes.”
“I’m just… wondering what they’re talking about.”
Jake raised an eyebrow. “You mean, what she and Sunghoon are talking about?”
Heeseung said nothing.
Jake smirked. “Don’t worry. I’m sure they’re just planning their wedding. Probably picking out the cake flavor right now.”
“Shut up.”
Jake laughed. “So this is jealousy, huh?”
“It’s not jealousy.”
“Oh yeah, no, of course not. You're just glaring at Sunghoon like you’re mentally photoshopping him out of existence for completely unrelated reasons.”
Heeseung turned away, rubbing a hand over his face.
It wasn’t like he had a claim on you. You could hang out with whoever you wanted. Laugh at anyone’s jokes. Let anyone ruffle your hair.
So why did it feel like something in him was unraveling?
—
Heeseung wasn’t sure what was bothering him, but he knew something felt... off.
You were still around—at lunch, in the halls, in some of your shared classes—but somehow, you were always just out of reach. If he turned one way, you turned the other. If he called your name, someone else answered for you. It was subtle. Strategic.
And frustrating.
Now, walking alone down the hallway, books tucked under one arm, the other gripping his backpack strap, he found his thoughts drifting back to you. Again.
Jake wasn’t there to tease him for it today, off doing who-knows-what, so for once it was just Heeseung and the quiet, creeping ache of your absence.
And then he saw you.
You were halfway down the corridor, walking like you had somewhere to be, light on your feet as always. Maybe it was the way you moved like you had a secret no one else knew or maybe it was just that he hadn’t really seen you in days. Not properly. Not up close.
Before he could stop himself, his hand reached out, catching you gently by the wrist.
“Hey,” he said, smiling before he realized it.
You blinked up at him, startled. “Huh?”
“It’s been a while since I walked you home,” Heeseung said, tilting his head slightly, trying to sound casual. “Want to go together?”
You froze. Your mind scrambled for an excuse—any excuse.
But he was already one step ahead of you.
“You don’t have Debate. Or Yearbook Committee,” he added knowingly. “And I don’t have practice today.”
You exhaled sharply. Damn him for remembering your fake clubs.
“…Sure,” you murmured, defeated.
He smiled again and reached for your backpack, tugging the straps gently off your shoulders so he could carry it for you—like he always did. Like nothing had changed.
The two of you fell into step, walking side by side. Your arms brushed once. Then again. Each time, a jolt of electricity shot up your spine.
“So,” he said after a pause, glancing at you from the corner of his eye, “did you get an A?”
You blinked. “What?”
“The math test,” he clarified. “You were stressing about it for, like, a week. Mr. Kim probably handed it back by now. I’m assuming my smart girl did well?”
Your lips parted slightly.
He remembered?
A slow smile tugged at your lips. “First in class,” you announced proudly. “Take that, Jake Sim.”
Heeseung laughed, the sound warm and familiar. “Good. Someone’s got to put him in his place.”
Then, without warning, he reached over and ruffled your hair. “Proud of you.”
Your heart launched itself into your throat.
His fingers lingered a moment too long, just enough to make you dizzy before pulling away like nothing had happened. Like your world hadn’t just turned upside down.
Typical Heeseung.
You were just trying not to propose.
At the crosswalk, as the light turned red, he reached out again—this time gently guiding you by the elbow, pulling you closer to him.
“There was a bike coming,” he said, eyes on the road ahead.
You squinted. The bike was a speck in the distance. Miles away.
But his hand stayed there.
Just resting.
Light. Thoughtless. Careful.
You swallowed hard.
If he was going to keep doing things like this, you needed revenge. You needed balance. You needed him to second-guess everything the way you did.
So you stopped walking and tugged his arm slightly.
Heeseung turned, confused. “What’s wr—”
And then you stepped in.
Too close.
Your fingers reached up, brushing against the base of his neck as you adjusted the collar of his uniform. It was crooked—only slightly—but you took your time, smoothing the fabric with slow, deliberate movements.
Your knuckles grazed his skin.
He inhaled sharply.
His shoulders stiffened.
And suddenly, the effortlessly charming Lee Heeseung looked completely out of his depth. Like you were the one throwing him off balance now.
His gaze dropped—eyes flicking from your face, to your lips, then quickly back up again.
Heeseung swore he could hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.
You finished adjusting his collar and smiled up at him—soft, proud, just a little smug.
“There,” you murmured, patting it into place. “All fixed.”
He blinked.
Swallowed.
“…Thanks,” he managed, voice lower than usual, a little hoarse.
And then because apparently his brain had melted, he turned on his heel and walked ahead a little too quickly.
“Slow down!” you called after him with a grin. “Not all of us have basketball player legs, you know.”
He didn’t answer, but you could see the tips of his ears turning red.
—
The walk home with Heeseung did something to you.
Something bad.
You missed him more than you thought you would. Not in a soft, quiet way—but in a way that gnawed at your chest like a small, aggressive squirrel.
Everything reminded you of him. A fork. A book you’d never read. Even Jay’s left toe (don’t ask, you didn’t know why either). You couldn’t stop thinking about him—his laugh, the way his eyes sparkled when he was excited, the little way he tilted his head when he was listening.
You were, quite frankly, losing it.
Your Lee Heeseung withdrawals were at an all-time high.
Every time you saw him across the room or heard someone say his name, your heart did a thing and your brain spiraled like a bad romcom montage. You were whiny. Pathetically so.
Jay, ever the long-suffering saint, was reaching his limit.
You clung to his jacket sleeve dramatically, voice pitched high with despair. “I can’t do this, Jay. I miss him so much. Why is this so hard?”
Jay gave you a deadpan look that could only be described as emotionally done. With a sigh that came from the depths of his soul, he turned and made a beeline toward the shop’s earplug section.
“If you don’t just tell him how you feel,” he muttered, “I’m going to lose my entire mind.”
You chased after him, still attached to his sleeve like a ghost with commitment issues. “But I can’t! He doesn’t even like me like that!”
Jay stopped in front of the shelf, scanning the rows of earplugs like he was shopping for peace. “What if he does, huh?” he shot back, a little too fast. “This whole walk home story you just told me—it doesn’t sound like nothing.”
You froze. The words you’d overheard days ago came rushing back: She’s cute. A great friend. But I don’t see her that way.
The echo of it still stung.
You let go of Jay’s sleeve and crossed your arms, suddenly quiet. “I heard him, Jay,” you said softly. “He told Jake I was just a friend.”
Jay looked at you. Really looked at you.
And then he grinned.
“Are you laughing at me right now?” You smacked his arm, thoroughly offended.
“It’s just—” he choked back a laugh. “I could’ve sworn that guy was practically drooling over you.”
You scowled. “Well, clearly you’re wrong.”
Jay shook his head, dramatically dropping a pair of foam earplugs into the basket. “Okay, look. So what if he said that? Guys say dumb things all the time. Heeseung’s probably still catching up to his own feelings.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but nothing came out.
Jay raised an eyebrow. “Come on. You’re not the type to wait around forever. If you like him, say something. Stop pretending you don’t care.”
You groaned. “Fine, fine! I’ll think about it.”
“You’ve been thinking about it for three years,” Jay replied, clearly unimpressed.
You crossed your arms and pouted. “You don’t get a say.”
“Oh, but I do.” He popped the earplugs into his ears with a triumphant smirk.
“You’re the worst,” you muttered.
Jay tilted his head dramatically. “Sorry, what was that? Can’t hear you over the peace I bought for $2.99.”
—
That night, Heeseung lay flat on his back, staring at the ceiling like it held the answers to all of life’s biggest questions.
Unfortunately, it did not.
He shifted. Then again. Then once more for dramatic effect. The blanket felt too warm. The pillow was suddenly too flat. Everything was wrong.
But mostly? It was the thoughts. You.
The walk home played on a loop in his mind, like a scene from a movie he couldn’t turn off. He could still feel how close you’d stood to him, the way your arm brushed his, how your fingers had grazed his neck when you fixed his collar. The soft sound of your laughter still echoed in his ears. It was... cute.
Too cute.
Heeseung sighed and rolled onto his side, shoving his face into the pillow.
You had always been his best friend. His safe person. You were fun and loud and comfortably chaotic. You made everything feel easy. But lately, being around you hadn’t felt easy—it felt... intense.
And ever since Jake had made that dumb “are you dating” comment, the idea had rooted itself in his brain like a stubborn weed. He tried to shake it, but it kept growing. Fast.
He used to think about you in a simple way—someone he could count on. Someone who’d be there with snacks and jokes and glittery signs with his name. But now?
Now he couldn’t stop thinking about the tiny flecks of color in your eyes. Or how your laugh made his chest feel tight. Or how you’d smiled up at him after fixing his collar like you had no idea he was short-circuiting.
He groaned again and rolled onto his stomach.
This was bad. He was in trouble.
—-
Across town, in a room filled with fluffy pillows and heartbreak, you were also wide awake.
Staring at the ceiling. Then the wall. Then your blanket. Then the ceiling again.
You sighed and ran your fingers over the threads of your comforter like they held answers the universe refused to give.
Everything reminded you of Heeseung. Your school notes. Your chipped nail polish. The way your lamp was slightly tilted—he was the one who’d knocked it over during your last movie night.
You squeezed your eyes shut.
Was this what pining felt like? Not just the longing or the ache—but the sheer, annoying presence of him in everything? Your brain had become a highlight reel of his smiles, his voice, his laugh. It was embarrassing.
Still… there was a part of you that wondered.
Maybe he felt it too.
You weren’t imagining it, right? The way he looked at you lately—like he was really seeing you. The way his fingers had lingered on your arm a little longer than necessary. The way he had remembered your test, remembered your nerves, and had been genuinely proud of you.
Your heart did a stupid, hopeful little flutter.
But the thought of confessing? Saying it out loud?
You rolled onto your side and buried your face in a pillow.
What if it changed everything? What if he didn’t feel the same? What if he looked at you like you were ridiculous—or worse, like you were just some girl with a dumb, one-sided crush?
Still.
What if he did feel something?
You both lay in your beds that night, across the city, wrapped in your own blankets and your own thoughts—completely unaware that the other was doing the exact same thing.
Thinking about you.
Thinking about him.
—
“Hey, look who it is!” Jake nudged Heeseung with his elbow, already grinning like a devil who’d spotted drama on the horizon.
You looked up, eyes widening as you spotted the two of them heading toward you. There was no time to escape. No possible exits. Just Heeseung, Jake, and a hallway suddenly way too small.
You and Heeseung locked eyes.
And just like that, the walk home replayed itself in your head. The brush of his hand against yours. The weight of your bag over his shoulder. The way he’d looked at you when you smiled at him. You swallowed.
“Uh… hey,” you said, lifting a small, awkward wave. Your voice came out two pitches too high, like someone had sat on the remote.
“Hey,” Heeseung replied, mirroring your stiffness with a half-hearted wave of his own. He was smiling, kind of, but it was tight—uncertain. His heart was pounding. His brain? Completely blank.
Jake, of course, was having the time of his life. “Wow,” he said cheerfully. “This is fun.”
“I—I have to go to the restroom!” you blurted, pointing wildly in the wrong direction before fleeing like a sitcom character mid-episode.
Heeseung stood there, watching you disappear around the corner, every nerve in his body buzzing. His legs felt like jelly. His chest? Tense. His thoughts? Loud.
By the time he stumbled into the locker room, he collapsed dramatically onto the floor like a man defeated.
“I think…” he muttered into the floor, “I might have feelings for her.”
Jake, already sprawled on the coach’s beanbag, didn’t even flinch. He was too busy chewing on a piece of licorice to care.
“Oh, welcome to the club,” he said, voice muffled. “I’ve been a member since the year you told her she looked pretty in green face paint during our third-grade Wicked play.”
Heeseung didn’t react. He just stood up and started pacing—back and forth, back and forth—like his thoughts might rearrange themselves if he walked hard enough.
“I—no, I really like her, Jake.”
Jake raised a hand lazily, like a talk show host mid-monologue. “Please. Continue. This is riveting.”
“I just... I don’t get it. I didn’t realize it before, but now? Now I can’t stop thinking about her. Everything reminds me of her. Like, she fixed my collar yesterday and I think I blacked out for a second.”
Jake popped another licorice into his mouth. “Gross. Cute. But gross.”
“I feel like,” Heeseung continued, running a hand through his hair, “when she’s around, everything just makes sense. And when she’s not? It’s like something’s missing. It’s stupid.”
“Cringe,” Jake said dramatically, slumping deeper into the beanbag. “Do all crushes feel this emotionally inconvenient? If so, I want out.”
Heeseung shot him a glare. “Are you ever helpful?”
“Emotionally? No,” Jake said with a straight face. “But I do hand out brutal honesty like candy.”
Heeseung groaned, flopping onto the bench next to him. “What if she doesn’t feel the same? What if I tell her and she— I don’t know—ghosts me?”
Jake rolled his eyes. “You’re being ridiculous. You’ve been losing your mind for days because she didn’t bring you water after practice. You have hands. Hydrate yourself.”
Heeseung let out a pained noise and buried his face in his hands.
“Just tell her,” Jake said with a shrug. “Worst case, she doesn’t feel the same. But I’m 99.7% sure she does.”
“Oh yeah?” Heeseung muttered into his palms. “And what if I look like an idiot?”
Jake leaned back, tossed a licorice stick in the air, and caught it with practiced ease. “Buddy, you already look like an idiot. Might as well make it romantic.”
Heeseung lifted his head just enough to glare at him.
Jake grinned. “Start simple. Tell her she’s cute. That’s it. It works. Trust me.”
Heeseung blinked. “That’s it? Just ‘you’re cute’?”
Jake nodded. “You’d be shocked how well that lands when you mean it.”
Heeseung stared at him, unconvinced. “You’ve said that to how many people?”
Jake smirked. “Doesn’t matter. It’s worked every time. I am very charming.”
Heeseung groaned again. “I’m not you, Jake.”
Jake sighed dramatically. “Yeah, I know. Which is why this is a 50-50 shot for you. But hey—if you don’t end up with her, can I ask her out?”
Heeseung shot him a death glare.
“Just kidding,” Jake said quickly. Then he paused. “Mostly.”
—-
It all started during lunch.
Jake leaned across the table, eyes gleaming with evil genius energy. “Operation ‘Make Them Walk Home Together So They Finally Kiss or at Least Make Prolonged Eye Contact Without Panic’ is officially in motion.”
Jay blinked. “That's… a terrible name.”
Sunghoon took a bite of his sandwich. “I kinda love it.”
Jake waved a hand. “Name pending. Point is—we trap them. She thinks she’s walking with you two. He thinks he’s walking with me. And then? We disappear. Vanish. Leave them alone. Together. With no backup.”
Jay tilted his head. “And what? Hope the romantic tension forces a confession?”
Jake smirked. “Exactly.”
Sunghoon raised a brow. “This feels like emotional entrapment.”
“It is. And it’s working,” Jake said proudly. “Heeseung’s got it so bad he thought she had a thing for you.”
Sunghoon choked. “Me?”
Jay snorted into his drink. “You do ruffle her hair a lot.”
“Because she’s cute! Like a little puppy!” Sunghoon exclaimed, scandalized.
Jake shrugged. “Well, he’s spiraling. Yesterday he saw you hand her a pen and he went silent for ten whole seconds.”
Sunghoon blinked. “That’s... tragic.”
Jay leaned back in his chair, visibly entertained. “I’m in. For the record, not because I care, but her whining is starting to affect my appetite.”
“Same,” said Sunghoon. “We were on FaceTime for 2 hours and most of it was about Heeseung. I fell asleep after 10 minutes.”
Jake clapped his hands together. “Excellent. Gentlemen, you know your roles. Subtle distraction, coordinated exit, zero guilt.”
Jay raised a brow. “You’re enjoying this too much.”
“I’ve earned it,” Jake said, already standing. “He stole my last banana milk. This is revenge and service to the nation.”
—-
“Crap,” he muttered. “I forgot my earbuds in the music room.”
Jay snapped his fingers. “Oh shoot. Me too. I left my jacket in the library.”
You raised a brow. “You two always forget things at the same time.”
They both grinned. Suspiciously.
“It’s twin telepathy,” Jay said, winking.
“You’re not twins,” you deadpanned.
“We are in spirit,” Sunghoon added, already stepping backward toward the school building.
Before you could protest, they were both jogging away, waving casually.
“We’ll catch up!” Jay called over his shoulder.
“We swear!” Sunghoon added.
You stood there for a moment, blinking in confusion. “...Okay?”
Then you turned around.
And there he was.
Heeseung.
Standing a few feet away, also holding his bag, looking around like he had just been ditched by someone.
Your eyes met.
Both of you froze.
Heeseung blinked. “Wait… where’s Jake?”
“I... thought he was with you?”
He furrowed his brows. “He texted me like five minutes ago saying we’d walk home together.”
You glanced down at your phone, where a suspiciously vague message from Sunghoon read: “Don’t wait for us. You got this.”
Your stomach dropped.
You looked back up at Heeseung. His phone buzzed. He checked it, then looked at you with slowly widening eyes.
Jake’s message: “Have fun ;)”
There was a beat of silence.
You both stood there.
Just you.
And Heeseung.
And an entire empty sidewalk.
“Oh,” you said softly.
Heeseung scratched the back of his neck. “So... I guess we’re walking together.”
You gave a weak laugh. “Guess we are.”
Silence.
Then, at the exact same time:
“You don’t have to if—” “We can walk separately if—”
You both stopped.
Then laughed.
And for a moment, just a moment, the awkwardness melted. Heeseung smiled—not his usual big grin, but something softer. Warmer. Like he wasn’t so mad about being ditched.
“Let’s just walk,” he said. “Might as well.”
And even though your heart was pounding and you were still very much aware that your so-called friends had just shoved you into a live wire of unresolved tension...
You nodded.
“Yeah. Okay.”
So you walked.
Side by side.
You weren’t sure how Jay and Sunghoon managed to get you walking next to Heeseung but you were sure it had something to do with Heeseung’s ratty friend Jake.
Heeseung shuffled beside you, hands stuffed in his pockets, trying to ignore the weird tension in the air. You, on the other hand, kept your eyes fixed on the road ahead, trying to think of something to say, but nothing came out. It was funny how just a few days ago, this silence would’ve been comfortable—soft, even. But now it felt a little too loud. A little too full.
Suddenly, Heeseung’s foot caught on a small rock, and before he could stop it, he stumbled forward, arms flailing like one of those inflatable tube men outside a car dealership.
“Hee!” you yelped, half-laughing, half-panicked.
Heeseung straightened up, cheeks flushed, but laughing anyway. “Oh, so now you’re laughing at my near-death experience?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—are you okay?” you teased, though you made no effort to hide your giggles.
“Yeah,” he nodded, brushing imaginary dust off his knees. “Just bruised my pride, that’s all. I think the rock has a vendetta.”
The laughter between you settled, but the tension lingered like steam on a bathroom mirror. You shifted on your feet, exhaling softly. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been acting weird. I’ve just been… going through some stuff.”
Heeseung tilted his head, curiosity flickering in his eyes. “What kind of stuff?”
You shrugged. “It’s nothing.”
“Are you sure?” he nudged your shoulder gently. “You used to tell me everything. Even the time you cried because your goldfish ignored you for two days.”
“Nugget was emotionally manipulative,” you mumbled.
Heeseung grinned. “Still, I miss that. Not Nugget—just... when you talked to me.”
Your cheeks burned. You ducked your head. “It’s just... a little personal.”
Heeseung narrowed his eyes playfully. “Like, family personal? Friends personal? Or…” He leaned closer, lowering his voice like he was about to drop a bombshell. “Boy problems?”
You cleared your throat, refusing to meet his eyes. “I guess… the last one?”
He went still beside you.
“Oh…” he said, and his voice had that very specific tone guys get when they’re trying to sound neutral but are actually spiraling.
“So you’re going out with someone?”
“What?! No!” You waved your hands frantically. “I just… I don’t know. It’s stupid. I don’t really wanna talk about it.”
“Oh, come on. Please?” he stopped in his tracks, grabbing both your hands in his and squeezing them dramatically. “I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t know. Think of my well-being.”
You sighed, glancing away. “Fine. It’s just… I think I like someone, and I’m not sure how to tell him.”
Heeseung swore he felt his soul leave his body. You liked someone? Was it… Was it that no-good, pretty-boy Park Sunghoon? Heeseung should’ve stuck with ballet when he was five. Or maybe joined drama. Something, anything, to compete.
“Is it Sunghoon?” he asked before he could stop himself.
You blinked at him, then let out a laugh that was way too loud for the empty sidewalk. “Ew?! No!”
He looked utterly baffled. “What? You’ve been hanging out with him a lot lately, and he’s always ruffling your hair and whatever.”
“He’s just a friend, Hee,” you said gently. But when your eyes dropped to the pavement, something about it made his stomach twist.
A silence settled between you before Heeseung cleared his throat, voice a little hoarse. “Well… you should just tell him.”
You raised a brow. “Oh, should I?”
He nodded, trying to keep his tone even. “Yeah. You’re... pretty. Funny. Smart. If he doesn’t like you back, then he’s probably an idiot. Or stupid. Or a fool.” He paused. “Or all three. Simultaneously.”
You snorted. “Funny you’d say that.”
“Huh?”
“Nothing!” You waved it off. “What about you? What would you do if you liked someone?”
Heeseung hummed, pretending to think. “I’d probably always wanna hang out with them. Walk them home.”
You nodded. “Mhm.”
“Have them at all my basketball games. Cheering me on.”
“Right, you wouldn’t want your girlfriend missing those,” you mused.
He nodded solemnly. “Yeah. And it’d totally suck if she stopped showing up to practice too. Especially when the whole team’s used to seeing her in the bleachers... eating snacks loudly.”
“I see how that would suck,” you said, biting your lip to hide a grin.
“I’d also wanna protect her. From oncoming bikes. Sudden rainstorms. Teachers who give pop quizzes.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Protect her from quizzes? What is this, magical girlfriend armor?”
Heeseung smirked. “Exactly. I’d be her human shield.”
You rolled your eyes, but your heart was thudding in your chest.
“And in case she’s, I don’t know... absolute trash at directions?” he continued. “I’d wait for her. Walk her home. Walk her wherever she wanted to go. Be her personal GPS. And not even charge her.”
You muttered, “Wow. What a bargain.”
“I’d also probably carry her bag,” he added, like it was a casual afterthought—as if he wasn’t literally carrying yours right now.
You puffed your cheeks, trying to play it cool. “Okay, let’s move on to the next topic.”
“I kinda like this topic, though.”
“We get it. You’ll treat her like a princess,” you mumbled.
Heeseung laughed. “How are you not getting it?”
“Getting what?”
“Alright, fine. Let’s make it easier.” He took a deep breath and started counting on his fingers. “Who has never missed a single one of my basketball games?”
You squinted. “Uh... Jake?”
He facepalmed. “Someone not on the team.”
“Me?” you blinked. “I don’t under—”
“Who has no sense of direction?”
“Me?”
“And who always helps that person find their way?”
“You?”
He gave you a flat look. “So... do you catch my drift?”
You stared at him blankly. “No?”
He groaned. “Okay. Last question. Whose bag am I carrying right now?”
“…Mine?”
He smiled at you, exasperated and fond. “Exactly.”
Your heart pounded in your chest like it was trying to make a dramatic exit.
So, hesitantly, you whispered, “What are you saying?”
Heeseung let out a breath, dragging a hand through his hair. Then, like it physically hurt him to keep it in a second longer, he blurted, “For god’s sake, I’m telling you I’m in love with you.”
Your breath caught.
“I. Love. You,” he repeated, staring at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Oh.”
Heeseung groaned loudly, dragging his hands down his face. “Oh? That’s it? After all that?!”
“I—I mean—” You sputtered, brain rebooting. “I didn’t think—”
“God, you’re so dense,” he muttered, but the way he said it was so soft it made your knees weak.
You swallowed. “Say it again.”
He paused, then leaned in slightly, a small smile playing on his lips. “I love you.”
You grinned, cheeks on fire. “Good. Because the guy I like is you.”
Heeseung blinked. “Yeah. I know.”
Your jaw dropped. “Am I that obvious?”
“No, but I kinda figured when you started scowling after the third time I described how I’d treat my ‘potential girlfriend.’”
You let out a groan, covering your face. “Ugh.”
He laughed, slinging an arm over your shoulders like he’d been waiting years to do that. “It was cute. You’re cute.”
“You can’t blame me for overthinking when you—YOU!” You jabbed a finger at him. “You told Jake I was just a friend!”
Heeseung froze, eyes wide. “You heard that?!”
You nodded—hard. “Word for word. ‘She’s cute, a great friend, but I don’t see her that way.’ Ring any bells?”
He winced like he’d just been personally attacked by a ghost of his own idiocy. “Okay, wow. That sounded so much worse than I meant—”
“You think?” you snapped, crossing your arms tightly. “Do you know what it’s like to hear the person you’ve liked for years say something like that? To be standing there, holding your dumb varsity jacket like some lovesick intern, while you laugh at the idea of liking me?”
Heeseung opened his mouth, but you weren’t done.
“You don’t get to say you love me now and expect it to just erase that.”
His face dropped. For a moment, he looked completely lost for words—completely unlike the smug, charming boy who used to ruffle your hair and make your heart do gymnastics.
“I know,” he said finally, voice soft. “I know I messed that up. I thought... if I said it out loud, it’d make it less real. That if I kept calling you my best friend, I wouldn’t have to deal with how badly I wanted more.”
You blinked, arms slowly falling to your sides.
“I didn’t get it until you weren’t there,” he continued, gaze fixed on yours. “Until I looked for you everywhere and hated that you weren’t looking for me back. That you weren’t smiling at me like you used to. That you started smiling at Sunghoon instead—who, by the way, I totally thought you had a crush on, which sent me into a minor emotional spiral.”
You snorted before you could stop yourself. “You spiral?”
“I laid on the locker room floor for twenty-five minutes while Jake threw licorice at my face.”
That image alone almost broke your resolve.
Almost.
“I need you to know,” Heeseung said, his voice gentler now, “I was scared. But that doesn’t make it fair to you. And I don’t expect you to forget it overnight. But I meant what I said. I love you. Stupidly. Probably too much. And I’ll wait for you to believe that.”
You stared at him. And he stared back—like he didn’t mind if you took a second or an hour or a whole year to respond. As long as you were looking at him again.
Your heart beat so loud, you were almost sure he could hear it.
You swallowed. “Dropping the L-word before our first date is kinda crazy.”
Heeseung gave a sheepish smile, scratching the back of his neck. “Right. Sorry. I should’ve started with ‘like.’”
You looked down at the ground, then back up at him.
And smiled—softly, finally. “No. I like crazy.”
AAAHHHH
rating: explicit
member: jungwon
notes: fem!reader, reader is a couple years older than him, acquaintances to lovers, medieval/renaissance (?) royalty au (i made the time period as vague as possible so anywhere from the 1500s to 1700s should be fine i guess), talks of marriage, loss of virginity, unprotected sex
a/n: IMPORTANT! i was hesitant to put this out at first because i know there's tension when it comes to explicit content regarding jungwon, but i didn't make this out to be anything too crazy, so no hard/taboo kinks as i don't feel quite okay writing those for him as of now. i did enjoy writing this piece as i'm a history buff and love the drama. of royal courts so,,,please enjoy!
it was getting too much.
the stares, the "innocent" touches, the silences that followed each strained conversation.
you had been patient. you had been steadfast. you had stood your ground.
but the flicker of desire inside you was slowly catching on, and you know, it would soon be roaring fiercely despite your efforts to tamp it down.
you gather your skirts and trudge on out of the library, knowing the princess would be looking for you, given the length of time you've been away. the hallway is quiet, as you expected. the end of supper time is drawing near, and everyone in the castle would soon retire to their private chambers.
the princess was dining with her family in her father's royal suite, along with a handful of courtiers and ladies-in-waiting, much like yourself. you had excused yourself for a moment under the guise that you were in need of the privy, but in truth, you could not bear to be in the room with him any longer.
he'd been staring, longer than he should be, and you were afraid that someone would take notice.
you had stood behind the princess, curtsying briefly before asking to take your leave. she waved you off without a second thought, though you did not miss the questioning glint in her eye as she did so.
you caught his gaze briefly just before you left.
prince jungwon had smiled in your direction, seemingly amused at your flustered state.
you suddenly blank as you turn a corner, your shoulder colliding with something, causing you to stumble backward. you reach out instinctively to steady yourself, just as a hand grabs you by the arm.
"my lady," a voice croons in your ear, and you feel your dinner churning inside you.
you straighten yourself out, smoothing down the wrinkles in your dress as you look jungwon in the eye.
"your grace," you begin. "i was just on the way back to supper."
"no need," jungwon informs with a tilt of his head. "supper has ended. my sister does seem to want to know where you've wandered off to, though."
you swallow thickly. "i will return to her chambers right away."
you bow, hoping he would drop the conversation, but you feel his hand lay gently on your shoulder. you freeze, acutely aware that no man who isn't your lover or husband should be touching you like this in public.
"i'm sure she would not mind if you stayed out a little longer?" jungwon says as you fiddle with the lace trim on your bodice.
"doing what, your grace?" you question, turning back to look at him.
jungwon smiles, his dimples prominent in the firelit hall.
"take a walk with me," jungwon offers.
"if she asks where you've been, you can always say you were with me."
you draw in a breath. "i don't think that would be wise."
"my sister has five other ladies-in-waiting to attend to her. one would not be amiss," jungwon tries to convince you, taking your hand in his.
"what i meant was, it would not be appropriate to be left alone with you," you protest, watching as he lifts your hand to his lips, brushing them gently over your knuckles.
your skin tingles with a feeling you can't quite place.
"and why not?" jungwon asks, running his thumb over the spot where he had kissed your hand.
you look into his large, cat-like eyes. you're bewildered at how dashing he looks in this proximity, the sharp line of his nose exaggerated by the shadows cast by the torches around you. his lips curve into another one of his handsome smiles, and the way he looks at you is more than enough cause for you to shake inwardly with want.
"you know why," you finally answer. "it is not proper."
jungwon cocks his head to the side as if waiting for you to continue.
"we're not betrothed, or known lovers, for that matter. the direction we're heading..."
you pause, hoping jungwon would understand what you're talking about.
"it's dangerous."
"do you not hold any affection for me, lady ______?" jungwon addresses you formally, perhaps a jest, given the smirk playing on his lips.
"i had thought you did," jungwon continues, reaching out to toy with a loose strand of your hair that seemed to have fallen from the intricate braids that decorate your head.
"why would you think that?" you challenge. your heart beats twice as fast now.
the flicker of flames begins to crackle.
"you do not throw yourself at me like the other ladies in this castle do," jungwon replies, his thumb ghosting over your cheek and down your jaw.
"you avoid me, make any excuse to separate yourself from me," jungwon goes on.
"but when you do find yourself in my presence, your eyes cannot seem to leave mine."
you inhale sharply.
it's true. much like earlier, you make such efforts to create as much distance as possible between you and jungwon. like a fox slinking away from its predator.
but to you, jungwon was like a city cat: sly and clever. despite the couple of years you had on him, he was always one step ahead. you could never escape him. it didn't matter how grand his family's castle was, you will always find your way to each other.
"do you hold any affection for me, your grace?" you ask, raising a brow.
jungwon chuckles at this.
"of course."
your eyes widen at his admission and a laugh escapes the prince's lips.
"you thought i would shy away from such a confession?" jungwon taunts, stepping closer, his hands resting on your waist.
the fire burns brighter, still.
jungwon leans in and panic fills you. you were not in one of the castle's secluded corners where shadows are ready to conceal whatever is to come next. anyone could walk by and find you and the prince in this compromising position.
but all is forgotten when jungwon presses his lips against yours, gentle and cautious, as if wary that he might scare you off.
as a lady of a respectable background, you have always been reminded by your family to keep your virtue with you. you are not to mess with boys and no such inappropriate behavior shall be tolerated from you.
as a lady of a respectable background, you had your way around this.
this is not the first time you've been kissed, but the weak peck of lips against your own when you were but a young girl was nothing compared to the way jungwon's lips seems to be melting against yours.
you pull jungwon closer by the front of his tunic, feeling the firm muscles shifting beneath.
"we mustn't," you protest weakly against his lips. "not here."
jungwon pulls away, breathing heavily, eyes dark as he gazes at you. you stare back at him, anticipation coursing through your body.
what now?
"to my chambers," jungwon whispers, grasping your hand in his. you start to protest as he pulls you along, but he shushes you.
"quickly," jungwon urges, dashing down the hallway towards his room.
luckily for both of you, your destination had been nearby, and no guards are on patrol on this side of the castle. you arrive in front of the heavy double doors of jungwon's room, both of you out of breath and brimming with feelings you did not care to address.
jungwon pushes you against the hard wooden doors, lips pressing up against yours once more. you let out a surprised sound, but it's caught in your throat when you feel jungwon's hand running down the side of your leg. he dips down, grabbing the back of your knee, before hooking your leg around his waist.
you gasp, feeling him press up against you. you feel something hard beneath his breeches.
the flames are catching on, moving up farther and farther.
"your grace," you start, increasingly worried that someone would see you.
"forgive me," jungwon says with a sheepish grin. "restraint is hard to come by when you're around."
you flush at his words, but before you can reply, jungwon turns the knob to one side of the door, hurriedly pushing you inside before letting it close behind him. he turns the lock in place and lets the second steel bar fall across the wood, ensuring the utmost privacy for the two of you.
"your grace," you begin once more.
"jungwon," he says pointedly. "you may call me by my given name."
you gulp, the situation finally catching up to you. "jungwon."
"i...i do not wish to give myself to someone i will not marry," you explain, holding jungwon at arm's length. he examines your face, gently brushing your hair away from your forehead.
"we won't do anything you don't want to," jungwon reassures, placing a kiss on your forehead.
"but that's precisely it," you say, circling your arms around jungwon's neck.
"i want to do everything," you whisper.
"i want to do everything with you."
jungwon raisies an eyebrow, a grin tugging at his lips.
"are you the one proposing to me, my lady?" jungwon teases, his hand pressing gently on your lower abdomen. he travels down further between your legs, rubbing you through your gown.
you sigh, clutching at jungwon's clothes. you lean forward to leave a trail of kisses down his neck, enjoying the way he groans softly.
"is there any other woman you wish to marry?" you ask, smiling against his neck.
"no," jungwon answers simply, taking you by surprise as he pushes you towards his perfectly made-up bed, plush with the finest covers and blankets.
you stumble backward onto the cushiony surface, propping yourself up on your elbows as you watch jungwon undo the strings of his breeches. you gasp as he lets them fall, exposing all of his lower body to you.
jungwon catches your eye and leans down, kissing you with newfound vigor.
the fire crackles, just shy of bursting into wild flames.
"we can stop," jungwon murmurs as he pulls away. "whatever you want, my love, i will follow."
you shiver at the endearment, your fingers gently threading through jungwon's hair. with your other hand, you reach down to gather your skirt around your waist.
"i want you," you whisper, kissing jungwon sweetly.
you lay back down on the mattress, watching as jungwon eyes your exposed core with undeniable lust. jungwon bites his lip, guiding his straining length to your entrance. you feel a mild burn as he pushes in, the wet squelch of your arousal reaching your ears as he slips further into you.
you have had a man down there before, but merely with his fingers. the thickness of jungwon's cock contrasts with anything you've felt before, stretching you painfully, but you urge yourself to persist, clawing at jungwon's sleeves.
"my love, my dear," jungwon says, stilling over you.
"wait," you plead. "just, wait."
jungwon kisses you tenderly, stroking one side of your face with his thumb, perhaps in an effort to soothe you. you take increasingly deeper breaths, letting yourself relax in jungwon's embrace.
jungwon gives an experimental thrust, barely there, and you groan, but at this moment, the pain is mixed with a feeling that has you curling your toes.
"again," you pant, looking directly at jungwon's eyes. "slowly, my love."
jungwon moves again, carefully watching your expression. you gasp, lips parting as the sting gives way to a delicious throb within you.
"more," you beg this time. "please, i need to feel you."
jungwon groans, his hips snapping up as he gives in to his instincts.
"oh!" you cry out as the sensations come crashing down on you at once. it feels good, much better than your own fingers or anyone else's. you watch as he disappears and reappears with each thrust, the image so lewd and new to you that it keeps you in a trance.
"look at me, ______," jungwon says lowly. you obey, peering up at the young man. he has a frenzied look in his eyes, wild with something burning inside him.
the flames roar, engulfing you, him, your bodies.
jungwon grabs your hips, forcing you further down his bed. you throw your head back, relishing in the way he seems to go even deeper. you lock your legs around him, never wanting this feeling to end.
the bed creaks with the effort of holding up your passionate lovemaking, and you worry for a fraction of a second if anyone can hear. as if reading your thoughts, jungwon places a lingering kiss on your forehead.
"i think...i plan to marry you within the year," jungwon supplies between labored breaths. "hell, before the next moon if father allows."
you giggle, elated at jungwon's words.
"hardly a choice now that i've given my maidenhood to you," you comment mischievously. one side of jungwon's mouth raises in a smirk before he dives down to latch at one side of your neck.
"you're mine, love," jungwon declares. "all mine."
you preen at his words, his pace picking up. you're left breathless as he thrusts madly in and out of you. your world is spinning but at the very center of it is jungwon. sweet, handsome jungwon.
"i'm about to—"
"inside," you blurt out without second thought. jungwon's mouth hangs open at your decision, a question evidently making its way out of him.
"you'll get it on my dress, otherwise, and that would raise more questions," you interrupt once more, your breath hitching as jungwon's nails dig into your side.
"by the gods," jungwon curses beneath his breath. "i might have to wed you within a fortnight."
"please," you mewl. "want nothing more than to be your wife, to be yours."
jungwon grunts, pressing a hand down on your abdomen. you yelp, feeling a sudden pressure inside you. it had been a slow thrum of something minutes before, but now a strange sensation grips at you from within.
"s-something's happening," you worry, grasping jungwon's shoulder.
"you're about to finish, my love," jungwon says, pressing down even harder on your belly. you writhe, feeling as if you're about to explode.
"it'll feel good, i promise," jungwon reassures, pressing his lips to your temple. his movements are turning erratic, sweat dripping down his forehead with effort.
"fuck, i'm—"
before jungwon can finish his sentence, he moans loudly in your ear, sinking fully to the hilt inside of you. you feel him spasm inside you and the movement brushes against a spot that has you coming undone, pleasure coursing through every vein in your body.
you cling onto each other, trembling and moaning each other's names.
a minute passes by as you both calm down, skin glistening in the dim light of the dying flames in the fireplace. jungwon is the first to pull away, watching you as you try to catch your breath.
"you look absolutely stunning, my love," jungwon praises, kissing you on the cheek.
you smile, the ache in your body starting to make itself known.
"let me call one of the servants to have a bath drawn for you," jungwon offers, reaching over to the row of service bells next to his bed.
you sit up, letting your gown fall over your legs, concealing any indication of the past hour.
"i think i should be the one to call for them from my own room," you suggest, pulling jungwon back. you snake your arms around his torso, kissing him behind his ear.
"they might grow suspicious," you add, laying your cheek against his firm back.
"very well, then," jungwon agrees, prying himself from your arms. he swiftly dresses, straightening his disheveled hair. he sees you watching and he smiles, taking your face in his and giving you what seemed to be the hundredth kiss that night.
"i suppose you don't want me walking you to your room, either?" jungwon asks, helping you up from his bed.
you shake your head, working out the creases in your skirt and sleeves.
"let's not push our luck, my prince," you warn, patting jungwon's cheek.
---
you enter your bedroom, exhausted and slightly worried. you tried to find the princess to provide a semblance of an explanation but she was nowhere to be found. not in her own chambers, not in the library, not in the parlor. you decided after nearly half an hour of looking that you would handle the situation tomorrow.
you slide the large metal lock of your bedroom door into place, securing you in your bedroom for now. you turn, nearly screaming at the figure standing before you.
"gods!" you shriek, backing into the door, painfully banging your head against the wood.
"oh, shut it," the princess says, pulling you away from the door. she maneuvers you toward your quaint sitting corner, pulling a chair back and urging you to take a seat.
"now," she begins. "i'm not mad. i'm thrilled, to be honest."
"have you worked out a wedding date with my brother, yet?"
ADVANTAGES ☆
in which…
on jay’s live, fans point out a stuffed animal on his bed, one that seems to be the other piece to your notorious missing pair. as imaginary pieces start to connect for fans, the viewers beg for some kind of interaction. and though you and jay have never met before, why not use this situation to your advantage?
pairing – streamer!jay x fem!reader
genre – strangers to lovers, this is not fake dating (sorry guys), kind of forced proximity, streamer au, short smau (20 chapters), little angst mostly fluff
warnings – swearing, slut shaming, romance stuff, food/eating, kms/dying jokes, haters, warnings are stated in each chapter!
featuring – jay, jake, sunghoon, y/n (duh), hyeju, fans
disclaimer – i am not saying this is an accurate representation of these idols or trying to sexualize them at all. this just something i do for fun.
taglist – CLOSED, ty for being interested!
yenqa – hey guys! i love streamer aus and jay so here this is 🙏
status – FINISHED! 11/10/23-03/18/24, slow updates <3
perm taglist – @jwnghyuns @ja4hyvn @trsrina @redm4ri @badmuni @yeokii @enhastolemyheart @softpia @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @boyfhee
PLEASE NO SPAM LIKING
profiles
001 – soulja boy
002 – like bluejay.
003 – OUR girlfriend
004 – 93 hour mewing streak
005 – losing hearing in my left eye
006 – The other woman 💔💔
007 – green hair – 1028 words
008 – me next
009 – who is pina colada.
010 – LIAR ALERT 🚨
011 – stupid question – 1019 words
012 – CASHMERE*****
013 – about that…
014 – until i met you
015 – i’m sorry that i couldn’t be your teenage dream. – 1829 words
016 – damage control 😜
017 – roode
018 – Get off my twitter.
019 – mhm.
020 – peace - 1145 words
021 – New look.
022 – happy birthday!
epilogue – just got married <3
extra : soulja boy finds love
yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! 🎀
pairing ➼ brother's best friend!niki x fem!reader
genre ➼ strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, kind of crack because y/n's internal narration is very silly, multi-chapter fic, sunoo is y/n's older brother
warnings ➼ profanity, y/n is an idiot
status ➼ completed!
taglist ➼ closed!
synopsis ➼ As the younger sister of the smart and popular Kim Sunoo, you’ve gotten used to living life as a background character. You mostly keep to yourself, you don't go to parties, and you most certainly do not have a boyfriend. One day, Sunoo brings home one of his friends and encourages you two to get to know each other… the fact that said friend is extremely cute definitely won’t be an issue, right?
➼ chapter 1
➼ chapter 2
➼ chapter 3
➼ chapter 4
➼ chapter 5
➼ chapter 6
after hours — athlete!nishimura riki. strangers to lovers. university au. fluff.
synopsis. when practice gets overwhelmingly exhausting, nishimura riki finds that staying at the field after hours can be such a calming past-time. apparently, you go there when you need to think too. an awkward friendship ensues. (7.5k words)
note. i’ve missed writing long fics in general so i hope this satisfied!
Over the years, Nishimura Riki has come to learn that there was something serene about a football field without any players practicing, playing – without an ear-piercing audience, without the pressure of winning.
Everything is instantly calmer, grass bathed in the moon’s glow, the air peaceful. At this time, the sun would’ve just been traitorously chased away by the moon, taking over the skies, and stirring crickets awake.
Back in high school, Riki would never admit the thrill he got from football, choosing to hide behind straight faces and unfazed facades, but now he’s given himself a break.
He finally allows himself to recognize that the field is filled with potential from promising players who poured their heart out into the sport. What he convinced himself as merely a club back in high school has become a huge part of his life (though he isn’t sure he’s ready to fully admit that yet).
So naturally, staying late for practice wasn’t anything new for the boy. It’s how he came to find out about the serenity of the field. And what stemmed from late practices became a routine for Nishimura Riki. It’s one of the few appeals to signing up for added hours after university.
Playing football was a commitment, but he’s grown to actually enjoy it - as long as he gets to witness the calm after the storm, the same serenity that explains why he’s currently standing in the middle of the field, eyes scanning the empty seats and trying to be engulfed by the solace that surrounded the empty space.
He liked how it felt, as if the entire world had stopped spinning for a moment and time wasn’t chasing after him, even though he’s pretty sure he isn’t supposed to be in the university field this late at night with the amount of homework he has to do the next day.
And on most days, he’d feel embarrassed to be caught in the field in the middle of the night (he was too prideful to admit he has passion for something for the fear of failure and disappointment). He supposes it’s alright though, as long as he comes prepared as to not be caught by—
“Hello?”
Lees verder
you’re the one !
wherein: being the best friend of his sister didn't seem like there was much distance between niki and you, however, his terrible social skills and your utter fear of him kept a steady obstacle from your relationship ever blossoming – or has it?
genre – nishimura riki x fem!reader, yearner!niki, best friend's brother! niki x fem! reader, mutual pining, pre-relationship texts, fluff, crack , warnings – cursing, mentions of burning sunghoon's house down , masterlist
ps. ignore time stamps! this is meant to happen over a course of a few months
so sorry for taking ages for those who were waiting, i've been really busy with exams :///
this is lowkey rushed but i tried my best !!
as per usual, reblogs and comments are loved and appreciated !
i hope you've had a wonderful day :D
© jongsungs 2025
please do not share, copy or plagiarise my work on any other platform.
CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS WILL GET ME EVERY TIME!!!!!
synopsis: you and riki have different ways of seeing love but, in the end, you'll always know who you'll end up with.
or
moments building up before the first i love you
tags: childhood friends to lovers, non!idollau, neighbour!riki x f! reader, FLUFF!!!, only fluff and comfort :)
warning: proofread but might have some spelling + grammar errors
wordcount: 4.5k
published: 3rd october, 2024
authors note: this oneshot acts as a thankyou for all the followers and love i get!! i’m so sorry for not being more active :( BUT i completed this! and i just want to say THANK YOU FOR 1000!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU WHOLE!!! as much as riki loves you! and as much as we love riki :)
reblogs + comments appreciated
Act 1: loving
Riki had never understood love – that is, until he met you. He knew he loved many things, like dance, and his family and friends, but if you had asked him if he knew what love meant, he would have buffered like a 2000s-era computer. Of course, Riki knew what love was; he had watched it in K-dramas and had seen it rendered in manga. By their definition, love was hard. Love was hard and difficult and full of miscommunication, but also, love was soft and kind and offered the sweetest touches to one's heart that anyone could ask for.
Love was everything, and nothing, all at the same time.
He then concluded, after the piles of pirated manga and dramas he had accumulated over his 17 years of boyhood, that love was simply you. He didn’t need to be a genius to understand that; he knew if it wasn’t you, then no one was going to fit that definition of love for him. Riki didn’t fully understand love, but he understood you – how he felt about you. You, in all your beautiful glory. Love was your touch, your smile, your laugh. Love was what he looked forward to every day.
You were truly the only exception to his dilemma of love, because with you, love came so easily. Love was just like breathing – it was so effortless when it came to you. Love for you felt like rain kissing his cheeks in humid summers, like snow tickling his nose during winter, like an autumn leaf falling on his head in the fall, like cherry blossoms blooming when spring arrived.
Love for you felt like nature, like it was natural. He was sure he had been born to love you, inside and out. From the moment he had met you at the age of 4, when you were dressed in stained patchwork overalls, obviously from playing in the dirt; your hair tied in uneven pigtails because you had just had to tie them yourself. Your hands clasped some wilted old flowers he had passed while walking Bisco; you had offered them to him as a greeting gift with that cute little grin of yours.
“Hello! Want to be my best friend?”
Four-year-old Riki didn’t know it just yet, though he did have an inkling, but he would be head over heels for the girl in front of him for the rest of his life.
He had stared at the flowers in your hand, weak and slouchy in posture. He looked back up at you and didn’t have the heart to tell you that those flowers were the exact ones Bisco had decided to relieve herself on. So, he took those piss-stained flowers and nodded his head with as much agreement as his little body could give.
At the ripe age of 18, as he watched you from across his window, peering into your room, where you haphazardly flopped onto your bed with exhaustion despite only hanging out in his room all day. He could just tell you had screamed into your bed by the way you flailed around at the edge. He watched you suddenly stop, as if you had run out of battery, flip over to your back, and lay still for a while longer.
He loved you.
You could sense him staring at you, with your strangely acquired Riki-sense. You lifted your head to confirm your theory, and there he was, leaning against the window frame staring into your room. His eyes lay still on the object that was yourself, and he was filled with so much adoration, so much love, so much bliss at even the sight of you.
And yet, you scoffed at his blatant staring, feeling his chocolate-brown eyes peer into your soul like the Ghost Rider from the movies. Of course, he had that stupid love-stricken look, and of course, he was already waiting for you to stare back.
Love for you had meant many things – too many things to quite pinpoint the right meaning. As you grew up, you learnt more about love than loss, and hence, you learnt that love hurts.
Love was like the humidity in summer, where the air was too thick, and the wind stuck to your skin; love was like the dullness of autumn, where the wind was cold and brisk but not enough to complain about – just enough to be irritable; love was like winter, where it got so cold you couldn’t even feel your face anymore, the season of sickness and disease that forced you to remain indoors and watch the sky cry frozen tears; love was like spring, when hay fever was at its worst, staining your cheeks with unintentional tears and a stuffy nose.
Love was hard. Love was difficult. Love was confusing.
You remembered every single time something you had loved got lost. The very first time was when the friendship bracelet Riki had made you when you were 5, decorated with mismatched charms and trinkets, disappeared one day when you went to the park. The nights you had spent crying didn’t outweigh the nights 5-year-old Riki had spent consoling and reassuring you that he’d make another one – a better one. But 5-year-old you knew the sentiment that was put into that very first bracelet, the one made without obligation to be replaced.
You remembered wailing about how it wouldn’t be the same, that Riki would have the very first bracelet, and you’d have a stupid second version because you had been careless. Then, you remembered the sound of beads crashing onto the ground, scattering anywhere and everywhere. You were scared you’d slip and crash despite being a giant compared to a measly bead.
“Now I’ll make two new ones so we’ll both be the same again.”
You couldn’t recall a more romantic and pleasant memory, where Riki had been so genuine and cute, so willing to give up something that was his to meet your happiness.
Five-year-old Riki really had you wrapped around his finger from that day on.
Despite your own volition, your heart bloomed and blistered, so full of him. It beat to the spelling of his name (in Morse code), and you couldn’t help but pull the threatening smile down into the scowl you attempted to display.
Like clockwork, your eyes locked with the same amount of love and willingness that you gave yourself credit for. You crawled towards your window and lifted it open so you could talk to him again as if the past 12 hours hadn’t occurred.
He was waiting for you, gazing like the stars had blessed his presence – graced his very being with the holiness that was you.
You had to force yourself to calm the oh-so-obvious flush of your cheeks, putting it down to hike up to your room as the reason for your sudden flare-up.
“Aren’t you tired of looking at me all day?” you remarked, and he was so quick with his reply, “I could never get tired of looking at you.”
Him and his flirty personality. You didn’t remember where he had gotten it from, or how he had developed it. You’d grown up with him all your life, and that part of his personality was still an anomaly.
You let a scoff out, rolling your eyes and folding your arms, blatantly ignoring the ache in your cheeks that you refused to surrender to his love.
“It’s not like I’ll disappear if you blink, relax,” but Riki had never been more relaxed than when he was looking at you. Not just the plain stares he gave during his maths classes, or at the dinner table, or even when he stared at his home screen that was so obnoxiously filled with you, but the type that showed interest, that showed he was immersed, devoured, totally consumed by whatever had his attention.
He liked to think he had found the perfect balance of clinginess and distance but still unknowingly leaned towards pulling you in.
“Most girls would love it if I stared at them,” he had said.
He was right. Nearly every girl at school would have sold an arm and a leg just for the boy to even look in their direction. If you weren’t you, you would have cherished and felt blessed to even have the Nishimura Riki in your presence.
But you were you, and you had grown up with this annoying brat all your life. Even if he could be sweet and sensitive at times, or when he tried to show you he was more man than boy, he was still Riki: your first friend, your best friend, and your first love.
Besides, someone had to keep his beautiful ass humbled, or else he would have resorted to those once-targeted alpha male Andrew Tate ads.
“To be honest, I find it a bit creepy,” you had snickered to yourself as he pouted at your response.
Those cute lips of his.
You had always known how to bring his rising ego down, one way or another.
With your smart and witty remarks, you anchored him just enough so he didn’t fly away and drift into the realm of egoism.
He couldn’t get enough of you.
“Fine. I’ll stop looking at you,” he had declared, but his eyes betrayed his words, and his gaze never, not once, pulled away. He had one eye open now, tilting his head away but still, ever so slightly, gazing upon the beauty that you emitted.
And you were still looking. Of course, you were; of course, you would.
You never took your eyes off him because he was just so cute, and his attempt to one-up you in snark was quite endearing.
“Good luck with that,” you had laughed, leaning onto your palm as you watched him sigh in defeat, but not before he caught your own gaze on him.
“Oooh, why are you looking at me like that?” he had prompted, leaning over his window to be closer to you. “Do you think I’m cute?” he wriggled his eyebrows ever so playfully, that shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
“No,” you had deadpanned, dropping your palm down to the frame. He pouted again, more pouty than usual, pulling a frown.
He whined with one of those annoying squeals, something you had grown used to over the years of knowing him. “My girlfriends are so mean to me,” he had said, frowning with his eyebrows pinching and lips pouting. You couldn’t help the small pull of your lips, seeing how comical he was being.
For a split second, you had lingered on his words. “My girlfriend,” he had said with so much pride. “My girlfriend” was all you really heard because he was calling you his girlfriend like it was your name, like it was a prize, a gift, a blessing. “My girlfriend” sounded like honey-laced praises.
He had feigned a gasp at the sight of you trying to hide your smile, and then you had burst into giggles because, of course, you revelled in his misery. But it was okay because the sound of your laughter, that joyous giggle, had erupted because of him, and that was more than enough to subside the little bits of bullying you always seemed to aim at him.
His heart beat along with the rhythm of your laugh.
It was late, and the stars had been watching your tales unfold.
Of a girl whose love yearned and pined, reaching the moon and kissing the ocean. Whose love was kept sacred and scarce, and yet, a love that was sought after, searching for love like hers. One that treasured and was kept safe, a love made of steel but soft like wool. A love that comforted.
And of a boy who loved like no other, so full and so rich. Whose love poured like the rain kissing the ground – endless and fulfilling. A love so abundant, it counted for the world.
There was so much love, too much. It was overbearing, consuming, and it was eating you both alive.
It was overwhelming.
“Hey.”
Your name had left his mouth like honey.
The silence of the gap between your two homes became deafening. Your laugh had slowly died, and your attention had glued onto him alone.
It was now or never.
Riki had known that love was you. He had known that the moment his eyes met yours, his definition had been filled in an instant.
He knew, he had loved – no, he loved you.
His second pause after the call had been enough to erupt a yawn from your lips, ever so slightly slipping past your perfectly shaped lips.
“You should get to bed,” he had said, but the lovesick gaze that you were too tired to catch said everything.
You had fought the urge to ask him what he was really thinking. You were tired, but you knew Riki – your Riki. You knew how his eyebrows pinched a certain way when he contemplated, only further accentuated when he hesitated.
You had his entire face burned into your mind, and your heart.
But for tonight, you had let him and his burning thoughts wait as you slightly nodded.
“I’m not gonna wake you up this time,” you replied, smiling ever so slightly.
You had left your window open, as you always did. Your window to his – it was like you were always together, connected through a fated string that crossed from one pane to the other.
…
Act 2: between
You had grown to find joy within nothingness—or so you told yourself.
All your life, you had searched for things to put meaning into. Simple commodities that resembled fractions of joy you attempted to keep. As a child, you had never pondered trivial things that would be impossible to find answers to.
You loved the definite, the certain, the things you knew you could hold close to your heart and never let go. Like the grudge you held for the boy who had bullied Riki when he was nine—too fiery of emotions for little you to experience. Your little face had burned red with anger, fists balled and shaking with rage. There had been no stopping nine-year-old you from unleashing divine fury upon the bully. Or like the childhood bracelet Riki made when you were kids, which you had sworn never to remove despite the horrendous combination of charms. A symbol of your eternal friendship.
As you stuffed your locker with yet another textbook you barely cared about, you heard cheers echo against the walls, ricocheting straight into your ears. The stampede of footsteps seemed to hurdle past you, racing toward an unknown presence from across the hall.
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t know who that presence was. Of course you did. You couldn’t ignore it, not when his fiery gaze burned holes into the back of your head.
You subtly looked over your shoulder, and there he was, in his glorious seven-foot-something stature. You saw how all the girls crowding him seemed to be trying to attract his attention, calling for his name, asking him silly, mundane questions. Anything just for a simple glance, but all Riki could do was stare at you like you were a lost treasure he had just discovered.
His gaze alone spoke a thousand words.
"I wish I could hold you."
"Your hand is mine."
"I want you."
"I need you."
"I miss you."
Those were more your feelings than what you thought his gaze said, but you had an inkling he felt the same way.
In the space between you, from metres away across the hall, you couldn’t help but feel so full of him—him and his love. He was saying nothing, yet the whole world went deaf in his presence.
You could see, miraculously through the heart-eyed girls, how he fidgeted with the little torn hem at the bottom of his shirt, remembering how you had been the culprit for that "measly" (his words, not yours) tear.
You watched as he scratched his neck awkwardly, trying to be as polite as a boy could be when rejecting a starry-eyed girl. They gave him chocolate-covered strawberries—though you knew he’d only eat them if they were microwaved despite your protests—and little love letters he would never end up reading, also despite your pitied protests.
All you wanted to do was pull him out of the crowd of crazed girls, to scream that he was yours—despite often telling him that you weren’t an object and shouldn’t be defined as "mine." Maybe it was jealousy that rippled through your blood, burning with a touch of yearning because, of course, you yearned for him. Every second of the day.
You yearned for his touch, his words, his silence.
Despite your many reluctances to say so, you were so deeply infatuated with Riki, you might as well have sprawled it across your forehead. Every distant look, light feathery touch, gentle breath that brushed against the shell of your ear. Everything he did, you clung to like a hoarder. A stupid, love-stricken hoarder. Every thought of yours was consumed by him, captivated by his every essence. Feminists before you would have shaken their heads, disappointed by how much you thought of Riki.
Frankly, you were too smitten with your dear ol’ boyfriend, even if he claimed you didn’t show enough affection to him.
Maybe it was for the best, as your gazes left each other like strangers with a fleeting glance. Similarly to last night, there was an invisible wall separating the two of you, tension threatening to crack under the pressure.
Riki was still being bombarded by love-sick girls, his longing gaze shifting into more of a plea as he watched you with all the free space he was supposed to take up.
You ignored his plea, of course, turning back around and into your locker. You would speak to him later anyway—it’s what he gets for making you late this morning (you had waited for him, as you always did).
…
Act 3: two
The two of you sit in the silence of your room for a change. The curtains of your window that peer into his room are pulled shut, dimming the space enough that you can only tell his expressions if you’re inches away from each other.
Which you are.
Riki insisted on staying over this time, wanting to leave the musk of his room for once. But really, he misses the sight of your walls.
Plastered across from him are pictures of friends and family, some of him and your shared friend group, others of his sisters and you. He thinks to himself how you have a knack for interior design, pleased with the way you showcase your love through photographs.
You say it eternalises the memories, so even when you’re both old and rotten to match your insides, you’ll always have the days of your youth.
And there’s a little flutter in his stomach when he thinks back to this memory because you said “both.” He loves that you see him forever entangled in your life.
Riki watches you doom-scroll on that godforsaken bird app. He likes to believe he’s got all your micro-expressions down—like the slight twitch of irritation in your eyebrow, the lift at the corner of your lip when you see something funny, or the scrunch of your nose when you see a resurfaced video of Nikocado Avocado.
Riki doesn’t spend half as much time on his education as he does staring at you. You’re awfully beautiful in your (his) shirt and dirty sweatpants. You’ve never bothered putting effort into your appearance when you’re in the comfort of your (or his) room, having known him far too long to care if he thinks your shirt smells like perpetual instant ramen.
His eyes travel from your appearance back to your face, and he just loves you. Loves sitting next to you. Loves seeing your face.Loves your appearance. Loves your personality. Loves that you're the opposite of a breath of fresh air—you’re comforted in his old, musty room.
Because even if he and you were stuck back in his room, you’d never change. You’re constant.
He loves the way your voice drops when you sense your tone’s shifted higher when talking to him, saying you’ll never be caught speaking to him with a babied voice. He loves how you deny his obvious affection for you—behind closed doors, because he wouldn’t hear the end of it from his friends. He loves your loudness, your quietness, your happiness, your silence.
He loves you.
He’s going to say it.
As he stares at you, yearning for you, you pretend not to notice the burning gaze of your lover. Twitter lost your attention long ago—the nth tweet about yet another scandal circling the app. Instead, you focus on your breathing. With how wild your heart’s beating, the best you can do is control how you breathe—ensuring you don’t fold in front of the lovely boy cuddled up next to you.
If Riki really knew how much you adored him—his hair, his eyes, his laugh, his smile, him—you’d never hear the end of it.
In truth, you’re simply enamoured with him. You love him. Everything about him. Years of girlhood wasted on a beautiful and sweet boy. Girlhood never prepares you for how to love a boy so lovely, so perfect. You think about how there have only been a few moments in your life where you’ve felt nothing but bliss.
Childhood was easy; ever since that fateful day where you picked a bunch of piss-covered flowers, you had no worries other than befriending the awkward little boy next door.
You’ll be sure to thank your parents’ boss for the move.
Teenhood, not so much; it’s riddled with an array of angst and anxiety. It’s a surprise you’re not imploding from the assignment you’ve been procrastinating or having a philosophical crisis like “what is love?”. But no, teenhood, albeit filled with plenty of anger and sorrow, has its fair share of wonderful moments.
Like right now, sitting in the comfort of your room—for a change. You’ve spent time imagining how your life would unravel, always with him in it, and how it ended up. The pictures plastered across the room aren’t just for show—they’re evidence that you’re happy.
Blissful.
Without Riki, you wouldn’t know what bliss is. Feeling nothing but pure and utter love.
He’s everything perfect about love.
And of course, you’ve said “I love you” plenty of times—80% of those times were when you were just kids. But that was when you were just friends. A silly phrase, really, because if you ask anyone who’s known you two since you were kids, they’d say you guys got married at the ripe age of seven with grass-bladed rings and flower crowns, with any passing animal as witness to your youthful marriage.
But now you’re dating—the dreaded boyfriend-girlfriend status. Nothing’s really changed in your relationship. Riki remains full of love and charisma, his attitude never wavering because, as he puts it, he’s known you were “the one” since you handed him those dirty flowers. You’ve remained witty and lovely as always, retaining the same spunk you had as a kid. The only two differences (soon to be one) are that your status has changed from friends to dating, and you’ve yet to say those three words, eight letters.
The phone that sits in your loose grip almost slips out, clearly losing its purpose of mindless distraction. To your dismay, Riki catches sight of your fumble, noting that you haven’t scrolled in seven minutes.
“Did my shameless staring finally catch your attention?”
He’s shameless, alright.
You drop your phone, staring deep into his dreamy eyes. You remain silent, but your expression tells him everything.
Despite the pull of your eyebrows and the purse of your lips, you love him.
“Say… what’s one thing you love about me?” he prompts, ready to finally tell you those long-awaited words. He’s thought it all out—how he’d list everything he loves about you, like he’s about to write your biography. He’s been dreaming of this moment since you started dating.
You think thoughtfully, like you’re scrounging your brain for an answer, leaving the silence in the room to deafen him with anticipation.
“Hey! Stop thinking so much!” Riki exclaims, offended that you’ve taken more than three seconds to answer, while his response would take 0.003 milliseconds (at least in his mind).
You let out a playful giggle, something you gave up trying to hide long ago. “I’m kidding,” you say, smiling.
“I’m kidding,” he mocks you in his ridiculous, high-pitched voice.
You love many things about him, too many to count. You simply love everything about him, like a reflex you can’t control.
“I love it when you’re silent.”
Riki visibly deflates, a slight frown ghosting his plump lips. His eyebrows pinch into a “what the hell” kind of expression, and his nose scrunches cutely at your words.
But you smile knowingly, taking in his sudden silence. You tune into the stillness of the room.
A rapid heartbeat.
“If you hate talking to me, just sa—”
“Because even when you’re quiet,” you interrupt, stretching your hand out to gently caress his hair, “you’re the loudest in the room.”
Your hand travels from his hair to cup his cheek, and Riki—the ever entranced—instinctively leans into your touch.
“Because you can just look at me, and I hear everything I need to hear.”
Your words are soft, gentle, and Riki swallows the lump in his throat that he hadn’t realised had formed. He stares deeply into your eyes—a different kind of stare than before.
Normally tender and kind, full of unspoken words of love. Now, all you see is devotion.
Riki focuses on the silence you’ve created, tuning into the nothingness that you said you loved about him.
And he thinks he can hear it, the silence.
It’s so loud, it bounces off the walls, pounding in his heart—even you can hear it.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
“What do you hear?” He pulls you closer, your lips hovering above his, so close he can feel your breath.
“I hear ‘I love you.’ ”
Your lips mould against his before he can respond, but something tells him that you know. And besides, he has a lifetime's worth of “I love yous”— he’ll let you have this one.
author's note pt.2: its been more than a year since i made this wip and i finally finished it LOLLL it took me so longggg ANDDD i feel like its a bit lackluster in the second act... ENJOY THOUGH. i love the the ending
❀ DEFINITELY NOT MY CROWD.
pairing. frat!jungwon x shy!fem!reader
genre. romcom, american college au, strangers to enemies to lovers (bye??), angst, fluff, mature
synopsis. when your friend drags you out to a frat party a week before the holidays, you didn’t expect to fall into the graces of yang jungwon, one of the fraternity boys at your university. One accidental kiss with Yang Jungwon and a viral post later, you wake up to a text from your sister: “Bring your new boyfriend to Christmas dinner!” Now, you’ve got one week to turn this chaos into a holiday miracle—or a romcom disaster.
“Hey, wake up.”
Madeleine taps on your shoulder, and when you only respond with a mhmm, she takes both shoulders and shakes you violently.
“What the hell Mads!” You say, getting up in a hurry. “What can you possibly need now?”
“Oh shut up, you’re making it sound like you despise me.” She throws an arm around your shoulder. “Will you come with me to Luca’s party?”
“You know I don’t do frat parties.” You say, already brushing off her suggestion. “They’re just loud and people make out in every corner.”
“But you never go out!” Madeleine slumps her body against yours, practically trapping you on your own bed. “Please.”
“Mads I love you, but no.”
Except here you were, in front of Alpha Delta something—was it Alpha Delta Pi? You didn’t know.
All you knew was that the music was way too loud for it not to have a noise complaint from the neighboring houses, and that there were too many drunk college students stumbling everywhere on the grass out front.
“I’m soooo glad we decided to do this!” Madeleine swings her arms around your shoulder, leading you inside the gigantic frat house.
“Madeleine!” A guy comes up to the two of you, his cheeky smile never leaving his face. “And who’s this?”
“Y/N, my roommate I told you about!” Madeleine smiles at you, “you remember Will right? From Econ?”
Will. Will. You’re trying so hard to remember him, until you realize he’s the blonde in front of you, his hockey gear always taking up half of the space.
“This is my girlfriend, Kallie!” Will puts his arm around the girl next to him. “Well it’s nice seeing you Madeleine and Y/N, have a good night!”
Even though he was notoriously loud in class, he was a bit of a sweetheart, and it made you feel a bit better about being here.
“See, that wasn’t so bad right?”
You nod, letting her guide you throughout the house to the kitchen.
“Do you want Pink Whitney or Tequila?”
You decided on Pink Whitney.
“Oh shit—I’m so sorry.” The guy who bumps into you turns around, his pupils dilated and red. He’s clearly very drunk.
“It’s fine.”
“I’m Jungwon!” He smiles at you brightly, dimples showing ever so proudly.
It seemed like everybody at this party was all about smiling tonight.
“Oh Won! You’re here!” Madeleine slides you your shot, and you down it in one go, silently cursing yourself for not taking a chaser beforehand.
“Yep, kinda have to because this is my frat.”
Now that he’s not stumbling over his own foot, you come to realize he’s actually pretty cute. His brown hair is messy and he’s wearing some plain navy blue hoodie that makes him look more attractive than he actually should be.
“This is Y/N, my roommate!”
Jungwon slips his hand into yours, shaking it in a hurry. “Nice to meet you Y/N, wish it was under better circumstances.”
His joke earns a playful shove from Madeleine, who raises her eyebrows at you, already hinting that you should talk to the boy.
“Well I gotta go talk to Luca, catch you two later!”
You don’t have time to pull Madeleine back because she’s already gone, leaving you alone with Jungwon.
“Hey.” He says, now suddenly closer to you. “Wanna kiss?”
It’s a straightforward almost humorous ask, one that a stranger who’s just known you for five minutes shouldn’t ask. But because the alcohol already entered your system and you have nothing better to do; you nod.
Jungwon leaves no time for you to take a breath before sweeping in, closing the gap between yours and his mouth. You can hear hoots from his frat brothers as the kiss grows more intense.
You’re sure you’ve become the very same people that you used to make fun of—the ones who would make out at the corner of parties and act like they had no decency or self respect.
But who cares, right? This was the one time you were out, and finals had been stressing you like a pounding headache, why would a kiss from some random frat guy affect you after the party?
You were clearly very wrong.
-
The next day, you’re awaken to your annoying alarm clock, groaning as you tap aggressively on the snooze button.
“Oh shit,” you say, feeling lightheaded when you try to get up. “What time is it?”
From the corner of your eye, you can see Madeleine’s blonde hair spread out on every part of her bed, her limbs tangled in her blankets.
You try to rub your eyes as you reach for your phone, and when your vision clears, the first thing you do is let out a shrilling scream.
“WHAT THE FUCK?”
“What? What’s wrong?” Madeleine’s head pops up, her hair messy and all over her face.
Madeleine stares at you groggily as you toss your phone at her. She fumbles to catch it, squinting at the screen before her eyes widen.
She slaps a hand over her mouth, though the giggles that escape are anything but subtle.
"Why is there a video of me kissing Jungwon everywhere?!" You groan, flopping back on your bed as the stress headache from finals makes a sudden comeback.
"It's not just a video," Madeleine says, scrolling furiously. "You and Jungwon are, like, the new talk of the frat. You know how frat boys are like. The sorority girls might even be jealous."
"I'm going to die," you mutter into your pillow.
"You are not going to die, Y/N."
You groan, yanking the pillow off your face just as your phone vibrates again. Madeleine hands it back to you, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
You don't even have to check the screen to know who's texted you. You sigh and unlock it.
[annoying older sis]: Bring your new boyfriend to Christmas dinner. I’m serious. Mom’s already setting the table for him.
You sit up so fast you almost get whiplash.
"No. Nope. No way. This cannot be happening." You turn to Madeleine, holding your phone out like it’s cursed. "My family thinks Jungwon’s my boyfriend. What am I supposed to do now?!"
"Bring him!" Madeleine chirps, far too enthusiastic for this godforsaken situation.
"Are you insane? I barely know him! He’s probably already forgotten who I am."
As if the universe is mocking you, your phone buzzes again.
[Unknown Number]: Hey, it’s Jungwon. Can we talk?
You stare at the screen, heat rushing to your face.
"Is that him?" Madeleine practically screeches, leaning over to read the text. "Oh my god, Y/N, he’s texting you first. This is fate!"
"Shut up!" you hiss, pushing her away as you type back:
Sure. Where?
The response is almost instant.
[Jungwon]: Can you meet me at the campus café in an hour?
Madeleine screeches in excitement yet again.
-
An hour later, you’re already regretting your life choices as you walk into the café, spotting Jungwon sitting at a table near the window. His hoodie from last night is gone, replaced with a clean black sweater that somehow makes him look even more attractive.
When he sees you, he grins, those stupid dimples making your stomach flip for reasons you refuse to acknowledge.
"Hey," he says as you sit down across from him, awkwardly tucking your hair behind your ear.
"Hey," you reply, wondering if it’s possible to combust from secondhand embarrassment.
"So, uh…" Jungwon rubs the back of his neck, looking almost as nervous as you feel. "About last night…"
You brace yourself for him to tell you he doesn’t want anything to do with you, that the kiss was a mistake, and you should forget it ever happened.
But then he says: "I wanted to apologize. I don’t usually, like, kiss random strangers at parties. I was kinda drunk, and I just… yeah, sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
You blink, caught off guard by how genuine he sounds. "Oh, um, it’s okay. I mean, it wasn’t terrible or anything."
Jungwon raises an eyebrow, his lips twitching like he’s trying not to laugh. "Wow. 'Not terrible.' High praise."
You groan, covering your face with your hands. "Sorry. I’m awkward and shy and bad at this."
"I noticed," he says with a chuckle.
When you peek through your fingers, you find him smiling softly at you, his eyes warm and kind.
"Anyway," you say quickly, dropping your hands. "I’m sure you’ve seen the video by now."
"Yeah," he admits, rubbing the back of his neck again. "That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you. People are, uh, kinda freaking out about it. And my fraternity brothers keep calling you my girlfriend."
"Funny you should mention that," you say with a dry laugh. "My family thinks you’re my boyfriend too. My sister wants me to bring you to Christmas dinner."
His eyes widen. "Wait, seriously?"
"Yeah. And I don’t know how to tell them the truth without ruining Christmas, so I was thinking…"
"You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?" he finishes, tilting his head.
"Just for a week!" you say quickly, holding up your hands. "We get through Christmas, and then we go our separate ways. No one has to know it wasn’t real."
Jungwon looks at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable.
Finally, he says, "Okay. I’ll do it."
You blink. "Wait, really?"
"Sure," he says with a shrug. "It sounds kinda fun. And honestly…" He leans forward, his voice dropping to a soft, almost teasing tone. "I need to get out of my frat house. They have yet to let me live down this moment."
Your face flushes, and you look away, muttering, "Frat guys are ridiculous."
"Maybe," he says, grinning.
This was going to be a disaster. You could already feel it.
-
The rest of the week feels like a blur of planning. Between texting Jungwon to coordinate your "backstory" and surviving Madeleine’s endless teasing, you barely have time to process what’s happening.
"How do we even explain how we met?" you ask Jungwon during one of your brainstorming sessions at the campus library.
"We could just tell the truth," he says, leaning back in his chair. "That we kissed at a party."
You give him a look. "Do you want my family to hate you?"
"Fair point," he laughs. "Okay, how about we say we met through Madeleine and just… hit it off?"
"Sounds fake but okay."
You decide to meet again the next day after class to properly establish some backstory for your "relationship." Jungwon shows up late, looking like he just rolled out of bed.
"Nice of you to show up," you say sarcastically, already in a foul mood from a pop quiz from your professor.
"Sorry, I was busy," he says, completely unbothered.
"Doing what? Beer pong practice?"
"Actually, yes," he says, grinning. "Gotta keep the skills sharp."
You groan. "Unbelievable. How am I supposed to convince my family you’re my boyfriend when you’re this… this frat boy?"
"Hey, being a frat boy isn’t a personality flaw," he says, feigning offense. "Besides, you’re the one who dragged me into this. If you wanted someone polished, you should’ve asked that guy from your bio class—what’s his name? Eric?"
"First of all, Eric has a girlfriend," you retort. "Second, I didn’t drag you into this. Madeleine did."
"Same difference," he says with a shrug.
You glare at him, but he just smiles, annoyingly relaxed.
This was going to be a long week.
-
You figure a visit to the Christmas market downtown might help you get some convincing couple photos. But of course, Jungwon treats the whole thing like a joke.
"Hold still," you say, holding up your phone.
Jungwon drapes an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer than necessary. "Come on, you gotta sell it, Y/N. Look like you’re in love with me."
You shove his arm off. "I can’t do that when you’re being this insufferable."
"Insufferable?" he repeats, feigning offense. "You wound me."
"You’ll live," you mutter, snapping a photo.
He peers over your shoulder at the screen. "That’s terrible. Here, let me."
Before you can protest, he takes your phone, tilts his head toward yours, and snaps a selfie. To your annoyance, it actually looks good.
"There," he says, handing the phone back to you. "You’re welcome."
You stare at the photo, trying not to notice how natural the two of you look together. "You’re so annoying."
"And yet, here we are," he says with a grin.
“Whatever.”
-
"Why do we need so much food?" Jungwon complains, trailing behind you as you push a cart through the grocery store.
"Because my family eats a lot," you say, scanning the shelves for the specific brand of cranberry sauce your mom insists on.
He picks up a box of gingerbread cookies and examines it. "Why don’t we just bring these? No one’s gonna care."
"Are you serious?" you ask, snatching the box out of his hands. "We’re not showing up with store-bought cookies. My mom would have a heart attack."
"Wow," he says, leaning against the cart. "You’re really committed to this whole 'perfect daughter' thing, huh?"
You glare at him. "Unlike you, I actually care what my family thinks."
"Touché," he says, holding up his hands in surrender. "But for the record, I think your mom would survive."
You ignore him and toss the cookies back on the shelf.
Later that night, after spending hours wrapping presents, you find Jungwon lounging on the couch in your apartment, scrolling through his phone.
"Do you ever do anything productive?" you ask, flopping down next to him.
"Define 'productive,'" he says without looking up.
"I don’t know. Something that doesn’t involve your phone or beer pong."
He smirks. "You’re obsessed with beer pong. Did someone beat you at it once or something?"
"No," you say defensively. "I just think it’s a ridiculous way to spend your time."
"Noted," he says, finally putting his phone down. "So what do you do for fun, Miss Holier-Than-Thou?"
"I read. I bake. I actually contribute to society," you say with a smug smile.
"Wow. Thrilling," he says, but there’s a teasing glint in his eye.
You roll your eyes, but before you can respond, he leans his head back against the couch and lets out a deep sigh.
"Okay, seriously, though," he says. "Are you nervous about tomorrow?"
"A little," you admit. "My family can be… a lot."
"I’ll survive," he says, turning to look at you. "But what about you? Are you gonna be okay?"
The sincerity in his voice catches you off guard. For once, he’s not teasing or joking. He’s just… Jungwon.
"Yeah," you say softly. "I think so."
"Good," he says, smiling at you. "Because no matter how terrible this dinner is, I’ve got your back."
And just like that, the walls you’ve been trying so hard to keep up start to crack.
-
By the time Christmas Eve rolls around, you’re a ball of nerves. Jungwon picks you up in his car, looking annoyingly calm and way too good in a dark green sweater and tailored coat.
"You ready?" he asks as you slide into the passenger seat.
"Absolutely not," you reply, clutching the tin of cookies you baked as a distraction the night before.
"You’ll be fine," he says, flashing you that same dimpled smile that’s starting to become your undoing.
The moment you walk through your parents’ front door, you’re greeted by your sister, Addison.
"There she is!" Addison exclaims, pulling you into a tight hug that feels more like a performance for whoever might be watching. "And this must be Jungwon!"
Jungwon smiles politely, shaking her hand. "Nice to meet you."
Addison looks him up and down, her perfectly manicured nails tapping against her champagne glass. "Wow. Y/N really outdid herself this time."
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. Your older sister has always had a way of making everything about her, even when it’s not supposed to be.
"Where’s Mom?" you ask, desperate to change the subject.
"In the kitchen,"s she says, waving a dismissive hand. "But don’t worry about that. We need to get a picture of the happy couple for Instagram."
Before you can protest, Addison drags you and Jungwon to the living room, posing you in front of the tree like a pair of dolls.
"Smile!" she says, her phone already snapping away.
Jungwon leans in closer, his arm sliding around your waist like it’s the most natural thing in the world. You stiffen for a moment before forcing a smile, trying not to think about how warm he feels.
"Perfect," Addison says, scrolling through the photos with a self-satisfied smirk.
Dinner is somehow both better and worse than you expected.
Your mom keeps asking Jungwon about his family, his major, and his plans after graduation, while your dad mostly nods approvingly between bites of turkey.
Your sister, however, spends the entire meal subtly (and not-so-subtly) comparing everything you’ve ever done to her own achievements.
"Oh, you’re studying business, Jungwon? That’s cute. My fiancé, Ryan, just got promoted to VP at his firm," she says with a laugh that grates on your nerves.
"That’s impressive," Jungwon says politely, but you can tell he’s unimpressed.
"And Y/N," Addison continues, turning her attention to you. "It’s so nice to see you with someone. I was starting to think you’d be single forever."
The table goes silent. Your mom tries to awkwardly steer the conversation elsewhere, but the damage is done. You feel your cheeks burn, and you suddenly lose your appetite.
After dinner, you excuse yourself, slipping out onto the back porch to get some air. The cold bites at your skin, but you don’t care. You just need a moment to breathe.
You’re staring at the snow-covered yard when the door creaks open behind you.
"Hey," Jungwon says softly, stepping outside. He shrugs off his coat and drapes it over your shoulders before you can protest.
"Thanks," you mumble, pulling the coat tighter around you.
"You okay?" he asks, leaning against the railing beside you.
"I’m fine," you lie, though your voice cracks on the last word.
Jungwon gives you a look, the kind that makes you feel like he can see right through you.
"She always does this," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "Addison. The perfect sister who has to be better at everything."
"You’re not supposed to do that, you know," he says lightly, gesturing towards your cigarette.
You roll your eyes and lean against the railing, lighting it with a practiced flick of your lighter. "I don’t. I barely smoke. But, you know, desperate times…"
Jungwon chuckles, his breath fogging in the cold air. "I get it."
You exhale, the smoke curls around you, rising into the frosty night. "She just knows how to get under my skin. It’s like she’s made a career out of it."
Jungwon leans next to you, resting his elbows on the railing. "I don’t know. Sounds like she’s just jealous."
You laugh humorlessly. "Of what?"
"Of you," he says simply.
You blink at him, caught off guard. "Are you serious?"
"Completely." He reaches over and plucks the cigarette from your fingers, taking an awkward, experimental puff before immediately coughing.
You burst out laughing as he doubles over, waving a hand in front of his face. "What—what are you doing?"
"Trying to figure out what the big deal is," he says between coughs, his cheeks turning pink—though whether it’s from the cold or his failed attempt at smoking, you’re not sure.
"You don’t have to join me, you know," you tease, taking it back from him.
He straightens up, giving you a sheepish grin. "I just wanted to see what you like about it."
"It’s not about liking it," you admit, tapping the ash against the railing. "It’s more—I don’t know. It gives me something to do when I feel like falling apart."
Jungwon is quiet for a moment, watching the snow-covered yard below. Then he says, "You don’t need this."
You glance at him, surprised by the softness in his tone.
"You could just… talk to me instead,” he says, his eyes meeting yours.
Your heart does that annoying flip thing again, and you quickly look away. "Talking doesn’t solve everything, you know."
"No, but it helps." He pauses, then adds with a teasing smile, "And it’s probably better for your lungs."
You roll your eyes but can’t help smiling. "Fine. Next time, I’ll talk to you."
"Good."
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the kind that feels rare and precious. The cigarette burns down to a stub, and you flick it into the snow, watching the ember fade out.
His presence is warm and steady, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t feel so overwhelmed.
"Thanks." You say softly. "For agreeing to this. I don't even know what I was thinking suggesting it. Addison just texted me and I freaked. I guess there was always a part of me that wanted to impress her."
Jungwon hesitates for a moment, then says, "You know, you don’t give yourself enough credit."
You glance at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"
"I mean—you let people like Addison make you feel small, but you’re not. You’re kind, and funny, and you care about people. That’s more than most people can say."
You stare at him, your throat tightening. "Why are you saying this?"
"Because it’s true," he says, his voice soft but certain.
You shake your head, looking down at your hands. "You don’t even know me that well."
"I know enough," he says.
There’s a long pause, and then, almost too quietly to hear, he adds, "I love you."
Your head snaps up, your heart pounding in your chest. "What?"
"I love you," he repeats, looking right at you.
"You’re insane." You say, voice barely above a whisper. "You’ve known me for a week. I'm awkward and I wouldn't make a good girlfriend. You'd be ashamed of me, you know."
"I love you, Y/N."
You're not too sure what to say, not expecting him to stand his ground so firmly.
"I didn’t expect this to happen. I thought this would just be some silly, fake thing. I don’t care if you think you’re awkward or shy or anything else. I love you exactly the way you are."
You take a shaky breath, your chest tight with emotions you don’t know how to name.
"I don’t know what to say," you admit.
"You don’t have to say anything," he says gently.
You nod, your heart still racing as he steps back inside, leaving you alone with the snow and the stars and the weight of his words.
For a moment, all you can do is stare at him, his cheeks pink from the cold, his eyes full of warmth and sincerity.
And then, before you can overthink it, you rise on your tiptoes and kiss him.
This time, it’s not for show. It’s not for anyone else.
It’s just for you.
⋆˚。⋆୨✧୧˚ 𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒋𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒐𝒏 𝒇𝒊𝒄 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 ! ˚୨✧୧⋆。˚⋆
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ texts w/ bf!jungwon
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ like it when i call you daddy
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ two of a kind
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ take a chance with me
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ secrets (teaser, will post the actual fic when its published, stay tuned :3)
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ punishment
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ he was a fairy
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ love novel
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ cupid’s conflict
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ birthday boy
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ haru yo, koi
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ its over (& over)
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ as long as it takes you
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ in my head
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ cant feel my face
finally figured out how to make the dividers like that lol, and thank you for supporting even tho i take days on posting (im busy:.)) also if you have any suggestions, PLEASE LET ME KNOWW. like should i start writing again ok maybe no im traumatized, but feedback, reblogs, and hearts are all appreciated! have a great day :3 ✨✨
I NEED A PART TWO!!! I BEG OF YOU!!! 😭💓
( ✉️ ) 𝒜nony𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬ly in l𝓸ve.
★ ( 언하이픈 NI-KI ) ── SUM. in which you have a crush on the popular guy in your class but is too shy to confess, sending him letters anonymously. genre. angst, cliche, fluff, crack, crush to more (?). 𝒻ℯ𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗿𝖾𝖺𝒹𝖾𝗋! 𝓌𝒸. 799O ♡ 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌, 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱! ( 𝐦𝖺𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍. ) ❔ PART.2
BIG warnings. mentions of food, reader is bullied by mean girls in class, jaeyun, heeseung and sunghoon study in the same class as riki, sexual term: "get his dick wet", curse and dirty words, vague mention of sending nudes, reader lives with her sister and grandma, reader mum's passed away, sunghoon's indirect kiss theory is mentioned, slow burn, not proofread, english is not my 1st language.
𝒜!NOTE. HAPPY LATEEEEE BIRTHDAY MY BABY RIKI, I LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH IM GONNA CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!! ><
YOU LOVE WATCHING YOUR CRUSH practice after class at an empty classroom. even though you felt nervous to be spotted and perceived as a creep, you kind of wanted to, wondering if riki would look deep into your eyes for the first time in years you've been loving him.
yesterday you wrote your first letter to him, expressing how much you admired him and how much you loved when his smile while he joked with his friends. you left the letter inside his backpack and watched his expression change the moment he realised something like a crumpled paper was hiding in the very depth of it. once you saw his frown and laugh while joking about the, well, the once love letter, you felt embarrassed ━ almost like ashamed.
you wondered for a second: why would he laugh at something you spent all night writing and planning how to give it to him? and why would he walk up to the trash bin? ━ did he threw it away? wait, did he? ━ your eyes began to form tears. you watched your crush walk out of the classroom while talking loudly with his friends, but the only thing that could be heard were your loud thoughts.
you quickly woke up from your trance and walk up to the trash bin to check if your situation was unfortunate. and i guess it was, well, is.
YOUR HEART BEGAN TO BEAT faster once your phone ringed. thankfully, riki wears earphones while practicing. you sighed before sitting on the ground while your back rested against the cold wall behind you.
"what do you want?!" "wow, someone's a bit grumpy today, huh? he didn't come to school?" your sister jokes. you take a deep breath before replying. "what do you want?!" you whine. "grandma is asking you to come back earlier," she says. "why?" "because she is worried about you." "okay, bye-" "wait! can you buy me some ice cream?" you sigh. "no! you just said grandma wants me to come back home earlier, dumbass!" "but... a few minutes won't hurt anyone! hang up and you'll get home even quicker! bye!" "by- ugh..."
you stood up from the ground, taking care to not be spotted again while adjusting your backpack. you took a quick glance at the classroom where riki were. however, he was gone, leaving you confused since you didn't know he just left. "does it means he saw me?!" you whispered-yelled, thinking to yourself. "did he?!" you glanced back, looking at nothing else than a beautiful orange sunset, temporarily painting those white walls.
YOU LEFT THE SCHOOL BUILDING and realised a few students were still wandering around the campus. you took a deep breath, enjoying the great weather of a breezy monday.
however, the weather felt colder and you began to feel fear, something about chills down your spine. that's when you knew they were coming. "hey, hey, hey, where do you think you're going, sweetie?" the three girls behind her chuckled after she called you that. "tell me," she looked down at you like you were a little kid. "is that how you want riki to call you, mhm?" she smirked while the other girls laughed again.
her name is yoko: an exchange student from japan. of course she protected riki with her heart! she is just his type and talks to her, differently from you. she is cute in the masculine perception, she has that haircut he loves, is good at everything and speaks three languages besides japanese. ━ literally a school queen bee.
"you want to have some fun with us tonight?" yoko placed her arm across your shoulders, abruptly pulling it to look down. "look at this scaredy cat!" she jokes, laughing out loud. "what are ya'll looking at?!" she yells at some students who were watching from afar. sighing, she angrily smiles. "you don't need to go home right now, right?" you keep yourself shut. "right, sweetie?" she pulls your hair and forces you to shake your head. "no, yeah... perfect! i am in a mood to..." she hums, thinking. "massage! ugh, my day was so stressful!" yoko leads you back to school, planning to get her massage done at one of the classrooms.
"Y/N, LISTEN: WHERE ARE YOU?!", "okay, at this point my ice cream is melted, come home!" "never mind, y/n, i don't want ice cream anymore, come home." your sister's voice echoed while you listened to her voicemail. you wondered if she were still awake at this point.
your head hurts and your mascara is ruined. your hands emptied and your legs almost giving up from being on your knees for two long hours. therefore, you called her while walking on the street back home.
"hey..." "Y/N?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" "um... i got caught up on some things and-" "IT'S THOSE GIRLS AGAIN, RIGHT?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" "sis," you sigh. "stop. i am almost home." "stop? STOP, Y/N? WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU THIS TIME?! WHAT HAVE-" bep ━ you hang up on her face.
YOU TOOK A DEEP BREATH before unlocking your house's door, silently walking in just to encounter the lights off and a awkward silence creeping you; once you saw the feminine figure walking down the stairs. "y/n?!" your sister whispered yelled, rushing to check on you. "are you okay?" you nod. "what have they done to you this time, oh my god, look at your face!" she tries to rub her thumb against your smudged mascara, but you avoid it. "i'm going up to my room," "no, you-" "let me go!" you snap, tears streaming down your face. "today was a hard day, okay?" you sniff before sprinting to your room, leaving your sister dumbfounded.
"HOW WAS SCHOOL YESTERDAY, SWEETIE?" your grandma asks you while placing a piece of teared bread on your plate. "um... it went fine." "oh, yeah? i was worried about you... i apologise, i slept before you could arrive home, did you eat something?" "oh, yeah." you nod, smiling a little bit.
"liar," your sister murmurs. "what? liar? who?" your grandma questions her behavior, sitting on her chair. "did i say liar?" she chuckles, sitting beside you after taking a sip on her coffee. "i meant air fryer! i need to buy an air fryer..." she address you a deep glance, acting a little thoughtful. "but our oven works just fine, hun'" "oh, yeah, i know," she shrugs. "i was just doing like, um... manifestation...?" "you and that manifestation thing," the old lady laughs.
"um... i should get going by now, i'll be late..." you murmur, standing up from the table still chewing on some bread. "okay, sweetie, take care!" your grandma and your sister wave at you and you finally walk out of your house.
you sigh before checking the time on your phone, making sure you could still get the bus to your school. confirming you were good, you walked to the nearest stop like you always did. you picked up your earphones from your backpack and began to listen to some music, focusing on your own steps, looking down.
feeling calmed down while holding the letter you wrote last light, you recapped your plan, in which: you will try to slip between his locker gaps. and then, you-
"oh, sorry," you bump onto someone's back, interrupting your thoughts. you take off your earphones before replying. "oh, no problem..." your tongue felt dumb for a second when you recognised those hands. those hands belongs to someone you like. someone you love. suddenly, reality check began to hit you, and realising your lover's hand were handing you the letter ━ supposed to be delivered a few hours later ━ you panicked.
"um... it's not mine!" you speak nervously, taking a few steps back while waving your hands. "but- it came out of your- um.. somewhere?" "u-uh... you can j-just throw it in the trash nearby-" "what? no way i am letting this go into the trash, this looks fire!" riki smiles. "you think so...?" "yeah! it's beautiful, man," ━ why did you throw it away yesterday, then?
"oh... but why would you keep it, it's not really necessary..." "why are you so interested on what i am going to do with this letter if it doesn't belongs to you?" riki suddenly speaks up, chuckling at your dropped jaw. he slips the/your letter on his trouser's pocket and nods at the bus ━ that just arrived ━ like he was telling you: let's go. ━ so you enter the vehicle.
you watched riki greet his friends that were already sat on the bus. by somewhat miracle, you were fated to sit beside him. your legs felt like jelly when he looked at you up and down before nodding his head at the empty sit beside the window. it took you a few seconds before walking up to that sit.
uncomfortably is how you felt for riki once he sat beside you, an awkward silence was created and the only thing you were hearing was his friends laughter while the japanese boy murmured something. you felt embarrassed, like you were a rock on their ways. somehow a burden.
"hey," a deep voice echoed close to you. you glance to your side and your eyes meet with riki's. "what happened to your knees?" he nods at your knees once he realised you didn't seemed aware. "you would you look down to my knees?" your crush's face expression changed to a confused one, almost like surprised by your question. "wow, i am not interest on you or in your intimacy, i was just simply curious," he lets out a nasal chuckle, almost like mocking you. "but, never mind, i guess..." you sigh, putting your earphones back, realising you just ruined everything.
IT WAS LUNCH TIME AND you have written your crush a letter while sitting on a toilet at the restroom's stall. you couldn't craft an envelope, so you apologised while thinking about what else to write. with that, while no one was walking by at the hallway, you took the chance to put your plan into action and slip the letter into his locker ━ you also wrote on the letter that you were upset he threw your letter away, giving him a hint you were from his class.
once the bell ringed, you were already at class taking some notes from last class. you saw riki walk in while holding your opened letter. your cheeks felt hotter, your surroundings was forgotten and your eyes locked on him.
feeling the burning sight, riki tries to find who was marking a kiss on his back, meeting his eyes with you for a second, nothing special. however, that was enough to get you all shy and giggly ━ obviously on the inside.
"Y/N! UGH, WHERE IS SHE?!" yoko's scream was heard throughout the halls and your eyes widened once you realised how mad she sounded. "I AM GOING TO KILL THAT BITCH!" once you heard that you started to run, you ignored everything: the growing embarrassment feeling inside of you and the looks people were giving you. "THERE IS THAT WHORE! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" she shouts, running towards you. "YOU CAN RUN AS MUCH AS YOU WANT, BITCH!"
while running, you looked back and drew your attention to her. with this little lack of attention, you bumped onto someone, in which you prayed it wasn't riki. however, that smell... that chest... that voice... "shit!" that was riki.
"I PROMISE! SHE DEFAMED ME! that's why i chased her!" you listened yoko complain to the principal. "is that true, miss?" the principal questions you, cocking a brow. you breathed to speak but the japanese girl had other plans. "yes! it is true, mr. yang! she did it!" "yoko, let your colleague answer!" "um... it's not tru-" "STOP LYING, YOU IDIOT!" she yelled. "SHUT UP!" you stood up from your seat. "GIRLS! STOP! YOU TWO WILL BE CLEANING THE SCHOOL AFTER CLASS! DONE!"
"UGH! THIS IS UNFAIR!" you shout. "miss, watch your tone..." the principal threatens. "huh?! watch my tone?" you chuckle, slowly looking at mr. yang with teary eyes. "mr. yang, i think you didn't listen the way she called me an idiot and all the times i've complained about yoko's behaviour towards me! you don't listen!" "enough, y/n! i am calling the person in charge of you." "but-" "NO buts, dismissed," you sigh before walking to the door. "wait, miss y/n, i am keeping an eye on you!" the principal points at you, making your eyes roll with frustration.
once both of you walked off of the principal's office, yoko turned her face at you with a creepy smile. "i am not staying late cleaning this lousy school with you, i hope you know this." she shrugged nodding her head, bumping her shoulder against yours. "oh, and i almost forgot," she slowly turns back to look at you. "if you think you can get riki with those silly, dumb letters, i am afraid that... you might lose him for someone else..." flying you a playful kiss and realising you were in the brim of crying, she laughs out loud, walking away.
and you? you stay, standing there like an dumped idiot. feeling a sense of loneliness and humiliation, your feet felt numb and you fell onto the ground, weak and helpless.
you wanted riki to like you. you really wanted to. however, you knew you were and would never be in his league, that's why you preferred seeing him smile, even though it wasn't at or for you. ━ or, because of you.
your head hurts, sending you a signal of stress. your eyes were completely blinded by the sight of crystal clear hurtful tears, filled with nothing else but embarrassment.
"OH MY GOD! ANOTHER GUM!" you scrunch your nose while cleaning up a desk. "i guess that was mine," a deep voice echoed throughout the empty classroom and your heart dropped. you turned your head back, surprised and nervous. "oh..." "just kidding." riki chuckles, walking in. "will i disturb you if i sit here?" he asks you while sitting down on the chair you always sat on.
you smirk a little, but turn you head as it grew to a big grin. "no..." you murmur, using a wet cloth to wipe some notes written down on the desk. "great," riki sighs while watching you clean the classroom. "need a hand?" you pondered for a second. "sure..." you reply. in a abrupt act, you hear the sound of his wrinkled white school shirt while he stood up, and suddenly he was standing right beside you.
"what can i do to help you then?" "um..." you blink a few times taking a small step back. "you can get that extra cloth and, um... wipe the black board for me?" "yeah," your crush smiles at you, making your heart melt.
a few seconds surviving under a uncomfortable silence, riki speaks up: "where do you live?" ━ don't mess it up this time! "uh... i live close to that supermarket," "which one?" "i think its name is... fresh basket." "really?!" "yeah..." "i live on the street behind fresh basket!" you gasp, turning to look at him dumbfounded. "are you kidding me? how come i haven't seen you anywhere?" you watch him shrug while pouting his lips.
"by the way," he clears his throat, leading his way to sit on the teacher's chair. "are you and yoko in... good terms now?" you notice the hesitance creeping his tone. you sigh and sensing a hint that that wasn't the case, riki adds: "i guess not..."
"do you like her?" you went straight to the point. "what?" "i mean, i don't want to sound invasive but... i am curious," you lean back on one of the desks. "do you like, yoko?" "why?" "i don't know," shrugging, you pick up the mop to clean the floor. "i just think she is your type so... yeah." "fair enough, but, uh..." riki sounded thoughtful, replying: "isn't she like a mean girl or something?" "what do you think?" you ironically answer. "i guess that was an yes, i'll take that, um," he hums, still thinking. "i mean, i don't know where you heard she was my type, so, no, i don't like her." "why do you walk with her then?" ━ rude, y/n!
riki chuckles before sighing. "i am sensing some jealousy, huh?" "what?" you stopped mopping. "why? did i catch you up on a jealousy attack?" he stands up from the chair he was sat on and leans his face closer to yours, analysing you. "you're cute," he giggles, turning his back at you, walking back to the teacher's seat. "you're so cute, y/n, maybe i should start walking with you instead." your crush teases.
"oh, answering your cute jealous question i just walk with that petty bitch because heeseung wants to give her some kisses," he playfully pouts, mocking a peck. "that's all." "heeseung likes her?" "like her? nah, he just wants to get his dick wet," you hum, understanding the situation.
"can i get your number?" "huh?!" you gasp, making riki laugh. "your number!" he displays his hand holding his his phone. "come here, type it," curling his finger while calling you felt intimidating, so you walked up to him and took his phone, finishing mopping and leaving the cleaning tool away; typing your number. "should i save your contact with a heart?" he drops his head to the side, playing with your innocence. "if you want to," you shrug, turning your back at him in a nonchalant act ━ like you weren't dying inside.
"i just sent you an emoji, save my contact, please~" his tone sounded playfully cute. "you want to walk home together since it's late?" you blushed with the thought of walking home side by side with your crush. "uh, sure!" "good."
"HERE YOU GO, YOUR DELICIOUS ice cream," riki hands you an ice cream he insisted buying you since he was used doing it after school. "thank you." "no problem." for the first time a comfortable silence was established, but it didn't last for long since riki started talking.
"you wanna know something stupid i heard a while ago?" "mhm?" "sunghoon told me that, a friend of his, right," you nodded, drawing your attention from your ice cream to riki. "told him that when someone wants to try a drink or whatever once you had already put your mouth in it, it's an indirect kiss," riki chuckles, making you laugh. "stupid, right?" "i mean," you thought for a bit. "i guess it makes sense but... i dunno." you shrug, laughing with your crush for the first time.
"do you live with your mum?" you ask riki. "yeah, my mum, my dad and my two sisters ━ konon and misola." "konon? i heard about her! isn't she the girl who won that talent show a few years ago?" "mhm-hm." he confirms, leading you to complete surprise. "i didn't know, i think talent runs in your bloodline, huh?" you joke. "what do you mean?" "you dance, right?" "how did you know?" he stops with his eyes widen, taking a few steps back from shock. "uh... i thought everyone at school knew...?" his face expression has a sudden change: a big smile that wrinkles his eyes, "i'm just playing with you, everyone knows, you're good."
ARRIVING AT YOUR HOUSE ENTRANCE, no more ice cream and no more subjects to discuss at the moment, riki sighs, stopping in front of your house with his hands inside his pockets. "so... what do you say?" "what do you mean?" you frown. "would you like to walk with us?" your crush looks deeply into your eyes across the classroom. "i don't want you to feel like you have to do this ━ just because-" "hey, i'ts fine," he shakes his head, reassuring you. "the boys won't mind! come on!" "uh, i-i-i think i'll get sick tomorrow!"
"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, Y/N? 'i think i'll get sick tomorrow!' ━ YOU DUMBASS! the boy you like asks you if you want to stay with him and his friends and you reply 'i think i'll get sick blah, blah, blah [...]" your sister complains after eating a spoonful of an old ice cream she had in the freezer. "i-i got nervous!" you defend yourself. "y/n... i fear something..." "what do you mean?" your eyes widened a little bit, confused and curious. "i-i fear i am... NOT your sister because i wouldn't be this stupid!" your sister almost spits on your face, standing up from the sofa and walking up to the kitchen.
"what do you mean~?!" you whine. "now i am feeling regret!" "as you should." she looks dead at your eyes, going back to the comfort of the sofa. "but-" "y/n, sit down," you hesitantly sit down beside your sister. "first of all, you shouldn't be whining and crying for me when you could be, at the very least, holding hands with riki next week," she sighs. "second of all, you said you gave him your number, go for it! text him!" she speaks like its obvious. "it's not that easy... "bitch, yoko made it because she is shameless, and you should be too! in a good way ━ of course."
"WHAT SHOULD I TEXT HIM?" you ask your sister. "i think a cake recipe won't be a good idea., y/n," she sarcastically says, shrugging. "what should i text him then?" she snuggles closer to you on your bed. "do you really want to send your crush a cake recipe?" "no!" "exactly, just send an: 'hey', nice and simple." "a 'heeey' or just 'hey'?" "at this point this word already lost its meaning, just send a 'hey', y/n!" she starts to get impatient. "okay, okay!" your sister watches you type something with a certain hesitance, and in a fast move she grabs your phone, stands up from your bed and texts riki.
"HEY!" you stand up, trying to get your phone back. "wow, i sent just that!" she hands you your phone back. "and a few more thin-" "HEY, HOW ARE YOU, HANDSOME?!" "i don't remember sending that..." you throw your phone on your bed and screams with anger, picking up your pillow and forcing your sister's face against it. "Y/N, IT WAS JUST A SILLY TEXT!" "YOU ARE DEAD, Y/S/N!" "Y/N-" ting ━ new notification rings.
"if that's riki, you're dead, y/s/n," you read his text, which were saying: "hey, i'm fine, how about you, cutie?" both of you started screaming as your nosy sister read his text with you. "OH MY GOD! THIS IS CRAZY!" "I KNOW! GRANDMA IS GOING TO WAKE UP WITH OUR SCREAMS!" "I KNOW, I AM SCARED ━ HOW SHOULD I REPLY HIM?" "ASK FOR NUDES!" "OKA- WHAT?!"
THE NEXT DAY YOU WOKE up late. any guesses? you got a little bit carried away while chatting with riki, leading you to a two hour sleep. you were quickly applying some sun screen when you heard something hitting your window.
at first, you ignored, too busy and late to deal with some random noise. but when it repeated, you got a little confused, ignoring the time just to open it, encountering the black haired japanese boy waving at you while smiling ━ your crush.
"what are you doing?!" you frown. "let's go to school, the last bus is almost arriving!" you gasped, spraying some perfumes and leaving without even closing your window. you sprinted to the door, getting your backpack and getting your shoes on in a very clumsy way, making your sister worry. "are you okay?" your sister asks you when she hears the front door opening. you laugh at her outfit before replying ━ her wet hair tied up in a towel, wearing a hot pink robe matching with her neon top and zebra print leggings. "you look amazing and yes i am okay, i am heading out right now." "alright, take ca- OH MY GOD, RIKI IS OUTSI-"
"hi-" "who was that crazy woman who just screamed my name?" you two began to walk side by side to the bus stop. "my sister..." you replied, kind of embarrassed. "she is so cool, does she live with you and your mum?" "she does but i don't live with my mum." "oh? yeah?" sensing your sensitive tone, he doesn't ask much about it. "yeah, i live with my grandma though." "so, you, your sister and your granny?" "mhm-hm." "your family feels welcoming," riki comments, making you smile and blush with the subtle compliment.
"are you hungry?" he asks. "kind of, why?" "here," he takes something out of his pocket and hands to you. "my mum made this biscuits," you took the sugary biscuits. "really?" he hums, confirming, adding: "once i commented about you, she freaked out ━ in a good way, saying she should make something for you." you giggled before replying. "thank her for me," you smile. "she'll be even happier if you ate them..." he hums and you take his sign, unlacing the little bow sealing the small plastic bag holding those sugary godness. "oh my god... it tastes so good, it's delicious!" your eyes widened. "i know." riki playfully brags, bumping his shoulder with yours while smiling.
arriving at the bus stop, you and riki quickly got inside the bus; and since both of you were late, riki's friend weren't there.
riki had to occupy the seat in front of you since both seats beside the window were occupied by two random strangers. thankfully, your relationship with your crush become comfortable overnight, leading to a certain intimacy. with that being said, riki was quick to sit and turn to look at you. but not just turning his head, but his whole body ━ his knees supported by the seat while both of his arms were crossed, laying on the upper part of it. and, of course, his face was just smiling at you. that youthful feeling of a first love began to creepy the corner of your lips, leading to a small grin and a flustered face.
"why? did i make you shy?" he asks. "you're embarrassing me!" you whisper-yell, discreetly nodding at the two strangers ━ giving both of you a confused, amused, yet, dirty look. "sit down!" "why~?" he whines, but you manage to make him seat ━ earning a pouty riki for the rest of the ride.
DURING THE RIDE YOU REMEMBERED last night, while talking with your crush on the phone, you wrote a letter to send him. this time, you were talking about the sound of his voice and how kind you thought he were, trying your best to not give him the hint it was completely and definitely you. because, even though riki seemed the popular, desired, careless japanese boy from school, you knew he is and was intelligent. wise enough to quickly find out about you in a blink of an eye.
"hey, wanna stop writing a little and grab lunch with us?" you stop writing something down on your notebook to look up at the familiar deep voice calling you. "um... maybe later, i'll finish this real quick and i'll catch up with you-" "ey~, come on... uh..." the aussie boy standing beside riki starts speaking, but suddenly stops. however, his friend saves him by whispering something in his ear. "y/n! yeah, come on, y/n! come with us!" you blink a few times, an awkward and painful silence creeping you and the four boys in front of you.
your crush coughs before breaking the awkwardness: "let's go, y/n, otherwise you'll miss lunch like you always do." "how did you...?" you question him and yourself, trying to find how he discovered that. he pulls you from your seat by your hand in a gentle way, placing his arm across your shoulders, attempting to make you more comfortable; and less of a burden ━ since you showed signs of being a over thinker.
"you have a beautiful handwriting i might say," riki comments and you look back, checking if the other boys were there. "oh, thanks." you innocently thank him, smiling. you notice how your crush's smile looked so big and mischievous, mysteriously hiding something. "what?" "mhm? what's what?" "whats up with that grin?" his face shuts. "uh, what grin?" in a cartoonish way, he frowns, mocking an angry face. "weren't going to get sick today?" "stop making fun of me!" you turn your face to avoid his, acting like a child. you pouted while listening to his laughter.
AFTER SITTING DOWN ON A table with riki's friend group, everyone was silent, and riki, noticing your shyness, he nudges heeseung so he can say something to break the ice ━ in which he whispered an: "i gotchu". "soooo... you are close to yoko, y/n...?" "oh my god..." the japanese boy covers his face, taking a deep breath. "what?! i'm just asking my friend something over here!" his friend argues. "sooo?" "um..." "'y/n," riki speaks up. "you don't need to answer this little bitch" he gives heeseung a dirty look. "━ he's being inconvenient right no-"
"no, it's okay, 'ki," you waved your hand. "he didn't know," heeseung glanced at his friend with widened eyes, bumping his shoulder against his, like he just said: "told you so!" "me and yoko we are close" the boy's eyes almost fell off of his face this time. "but" his happy expression dropped. "not in a good way..." you explain. "not in a good way?" he cocks a brow. "yeah..." "how come?" "i-"
"riki~!" that annoying, feminine, high pitched voice echoed all across the lunch room, walking closer to the table and standing behind riki ━ one of her hand placed on her hip. "oh... yoko..." riki's, sunghoon's and jaeyun's face dropped, except fro heeseung. "hi, heeseung!" she waved just her fingers at him in a flirtatious way. "and- oh? y/n?" yoko cocked a brow at the sight of you sitting across the four handsome boys. "what are you doing here?" "she-" "shush, jaeyun! i am asking her!" jaeyun scoffs at her rudeness. "i thought you guys weren't into that charity thing, but... seems pity wins sometimes,"
"stop, yoko." riki pissed off voice spoke up, looking at her with indifference. "what? can't a pretty girl say an ugly truth?" she shrugged and hearing her say that made you feel small. riki sighed before standing up from his seat and picking up your hand. "let's get out of here," the boys were just about to stand up and follow both of you, but riki gently stopped them. "just me and you." he murmured, noticing your vulnerability increasing.
all of the sudden, when you were just about to walk away with riki, yoko began to clap her hands ━ loudly ━ and laugh like she just watched an comedy movie. "don't make me laugh, riki!" yoko's eyes were burning the japanese's boy eyes. she took a step closer to him and whispered for the two of you to hear: "is she my replacement?" she laughed out loud again and at that point, everyone present in the room had their eyes on the three of you, internally fighting. yoko turned, taking a few step forward before dropping her head down ;and turn back with her head cocked to the side. "let's just-" riki tries to speak, but gets interrupted by you ━ pulling his hand to stay.
"i am sorry, y/n," she speaks seriously. "i am sorry, riki; and i am sorry to everyone in this room, but," in a creepy, yet, discreet way he picks up a pen she always kept on the little pocket sewn on her shirt. "there is no room for a replacement here." out of nowhere she screams and starts to chase both of you with a pen but yoko was quickly stopped by jaeyun and sunghoon, while heeseung went to call someone to calm her down.
meanwhile, you and riki ran to the terrace: not just because of yoko but to relax together. "SHIT, Y/N, WHY DID YOU HELD US THERE?!" your crush snaps at you once both of you reached the parapet and took a deep breath. "i-i... we would be fine! it was just a pen-" "JUST A PEN?!" he scoffs. "that shit can kill you if it hits a fucking vital point!" you sigh, way too overwhelmed to deal with his shouting and complains.
"yoko is crazy, you should've known better than anyone!" "i'm sorry..." you murmur, avoiding his angry glance at you. "that shit scared the fuck out of me!" "sorry... i am sorry! sorry!" you snap, falling onto the harsh ground made of hard concrete. noticing your sudden change, riki immediately falls onto the ground with you.
"oh shit, i'm sorry... sorry, y/n, i-i" he exhales. "i got nervous that's all-" "DO YOU THINK I DIDN'T GET NERVOUS TOO?!" you yell, frustrated. "no one has ever understood me! never..." your voice weakens and riki felt guilt flooding his heart. regret hitting his chest a billion times non-stop. "i am sorry. fuck, i'm sorry i hurt you..." "why does people apologise without meaning it?" you glance at him with an exasperated frown. "i mean it! i am not 'people'," he says. "trust me, y/n, i am truly sorry." he emphasises. "fuck it, i can't handle seeing you cry, come here," he embraces you and pulls you closer ━ your face snuggled onto his chest while your body remains half laid.
he holds your face with care and rubs his thumb against your shaky shoulder from small sobs. you start to wonder why he is being so gentle with you. like, one day he didn't even know you existed or looked in your eyes, and in the next day he is reciprocating.
noticing your silence, riki questions: "over thinking?" his voice hit you all of a sudden, making you slightly jump. "no, just-" you sigh. "yeah... how did you know...?" you let out a small chuckle. "you stop blinking when you start your trance." riki pinches your nose and you scrunch it, rejecting his action.
"what were you thinking about?" "mhm... us." "us?" "yes, us," "and 'us' is good or bad?" you feel his long fingered hands play with your hair. "i am not sure..." you pout. "wanna share?" "it's just that-" you kiss your teeth and fidgets with your fingers, conflicting with your own thoughts. "why are you being so gentle with me, riki?" you adjust your posture and look up at him. "all of the sudden?" "i mean," you sit up, interrupting your hair from being caressed. "you were the one treating me some type of way all of the sudden." you argue.
riki thinks and then shrugs. "i am not sure what this is supposed to me-" "what i mean is that: one day you don't even look at me and the other day we are literally cuddling on the ground!" riki and you became silent.
"i have never ignored you if that's what you mean," "eh?" you frown, scoffing as you were mocking his lie. "you're funny, riki; very funny..." you roll your eyes, avoiding his eyes. the japanese boy sits closer to you, pulling your face to meet your eyes with his. "first of all," he looks away from you after making sure you were paying attention to him. "i have looked at you a few- no, lots of times, but, you were too busy taking notes on that stupid notebook of yours." he chuckles. "also, i haven't seen you at parties so it was difficult to talk to you,"
"you could've just talk to me at class..." you murmur. "i tried! but every single time i tried to develop a deep conversation with you, you were always giving me short and dry answers! i thought you didn't like me!" "who said i like you?!" "do you hate me?" you hummed, like you were thinking about it, clearly teasing him. "you do?!" he made an angry face, speaking between clutched teeth. "okay, okay! yeah- i mean, no!" "you!" you stood up and began to run from riki while he chased you across the whole terrace.
"my ankle hurt, wait!" he complains, whining while holding his ankle. you stop for a second to look back at him, however, knowing his playful personality, you didn't believe him. "stop being a cry baby!" noticing he wasn't laughing a little bit but moaning in pain instead, you walk closer to him. "are you really hurt...?" "it really hurts..." when you were just about to gently place your hand on his shoulder, your action was interrupted by his hand holding yours. "just kidding!" and he holds you into a tight embrace. "let me go!" "lemme see... no, i won't!" "let me-"
"what is that?" you frown, confused. "mhm? what?" you began to look around, trying to find something. "that," he nods at the ground once you glanced back at him. your letter. the letter you wrote earlier on the ground in front of your crush, quite literally revealing it was you; who wrote those previous letters. you sigh trying to get an excuse. "what? a piece of paper?" "isn't that fancy envelope i saw that day?" he reefers to that day in which you bumped onto him. "uh... i don't think so..." you shrug, trying to act nonchalant.
riki free you just to pick up the letter from the ground, ignoring your reply. "strange, isn't it like these envelopes are seeking us?" he drops his head to the side, holding the letter. "should i open it?" your eyes widen discreetly. "no!" noticing your exaltation, riki frowns. "why is that?" "because... because what if it is something important?! like a secret or a..." you try to think, tensing your shoulders as you did so. "love letter...?" you shrug, relaxing your shoulders once riki's chuckle reaches your earbuds.
"so... i can't read it then because it can be an love letter?" your crush raises his brows. "um... yeah?" you shrug once again, trying to convince him to leave it alone. "okay," he pouts his lips, handing you the letter. "so, i won't read it," he surrenders himself, but then crosses his arms like an bad boy. "but you will; read it for me." riki sits on the ground, his eyes not leaving you. "we should get back to-" "no, you'll read it for me," he keeps a dead serious face. "now."
he notices how nervous you were looking. the way your fingers were clutching to the paper, slightly crumpling the harsh paper used to craft that beautiful envelope. "y/n," riki's voice wakes you up from your trance. "read it, please?" he kindly asks you this time, making you feel less intimidated. "o-okay..." you peel the small piece of tape you have glued just yesterday, hoping it was your crush ━ poor past y/n. and then, you open the letter and slips the letter out of the envelope, resting the letter above it. you unfold the folded paper and cleans your throat before reading it.
you did a quick read to the letter and remembered that you have mentioned his name many times, so you had to make up something up before reading the first paragraph.
❝ 𝒟ear, Mr. Kim,
I love your laugh. It's like music that heals the soul and guides me to you. I love how kind and playful you can be, it makes me wonder if I will ever be able to make you as happy as you make me. I know I will never be enough, so just read my words of love. I don't need your touch if it's not well deserved ━ ironic for wanting you completely. I like to use poetry as my main source of writing, because I know you don't understand much about literature ━ much less understand my feelings. Not because they are complex, but because they are too distant to ever be discovered by you. All of this may sound painful, and no matter how painful it is, I will be able to survive as long as I can see your smile.
The thought of having you in my life feels so right, like heaven and angels. But, when I remember of my surroundings and situation, feels like dreams not yet dreamed of, printed poetry, handwritten newspapers, silent parrots and talkative owners ━ in other words: one in a billion chance to be compatible.
However, remember me. Don't ever leave me. You don't have me, but it doesn't mean I can't have you, right?
𝒜nonimously in love with you.❞
"wow..." riki began to clap with star eyes looking at you. "so what you just read is a love letter to our... gym teacher?!" he stands up to analyse the letter, but you quickly avoid him from seeing his name written. "hey! i told you you can't read it!" "okay, okay..." he sighs. "do you really want to go back to class?" "i guess," you shrug, keeping the letter inside the pocket of your wool jacket. "wait! no, we won't! look at the sunset!"
"WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?! KISSING?" heeseung asks and sunghoon bumps his shoulders against his, disapproving his question. "yeah, we were," riki says. "wait, WHAT?!" sunghoon suddenly shouts. "yeah, WHAT?!" jaeyun is the next one to shout. "i told you two!" heeseung mock his friends dropped jaw. "give me my $50's, jaeyun!"
"you and jaeyun seriously made a deal if we had kissed?" "of course!" heeseung replied as it was obvious, taking the $50 from jaeyun's hand. "okay, heeseung give it back to him, no lips were touched," riki shakes his head. "HA!" sunghoon mocks his friends with a loud chuckle, making you giggle. "aw man... i just wanted $50 dollars..." "no money for you, idiot!"
A FEW WEEKS HAVE PASSED by. you and riki became even closer and you might admit you fell even more in love with him. if you had a crush on him back then, now you have a whole fantasy of your future with him. talking about relationships, by getting closer to your secret lover, you also got closer to his friends. if you think this doesn't means shit, oh, it does! after heeseung learned about yoko's shitty personality, he dumped her immediately, feeling an extreme sense of empathy for you ━ not in a romantic way.
also, thankfully, somehow, that day yoko freaked out chasing you and riki with a pen was recorded and leaked. with that being said, she probably got embarrassed and wasn't attending school anymore. another important information is that, by getting closer to your crush, you also got closer to his friends. if you think this doesn't means shit, oh, it does! after heeseung learned about yoko's shitty personality, he dumped her immediately, feeling an extreme sense of empathy for you ━ not in a romantic way.
now, you were at your room texting riki about what you had just ate as a midnight snack. then, you sat on your desk to get some work done for the next week. however, a hard object hit your window and your heart was saying something like: it's riki, it's riki, it's riki; but your mind was saying something like: it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing.
however, when the object hit your window again, so you opened the curtains and then your window, now confirming: it is definitely riki. "why didn't you answered me right away?" you sighed. "ki, it's literally 3 am in a saturday! and i am a woman, i can't just open my window in the middle of the night." "fair enough," he shrugs, agreeing.
when riki was just about to shout again, you stopped him, gesturing a stop sign with your hand, making him wait. you picked your phone up and pointed to it, mouthing: phone! text! ━ in which he nodded, gesturing an 'okay' with his fingers and then picking up his phone.
he texted: 'wanna sneak out?' ━ you shook your head in response, looking at him from your window. he snorted, frustrated. and then nodded to you ━ your phone. 'can i come in, then? i want to see you...' ━ returning your sight to the japanese pouty boy. you sighed, biting onto your bottom lip before nodding and closing your window.
you were just about to open your front door when another text from riki popped: 'why did you close the window? let me in! i am prepared!!!!!' ━ riki, you-
you sprinted to your bedroom and opened your window, leaving your door opened, worried. he knocked on the glass a few times after seeing you, patiently waiting while holding onto a random ladder. "did you really just brought a whole fucking ladder?" you question him with shock. "of course not," he scoffs like it was obvious. "so... whose ladder is that?" you squint your eyes. "neighbour." "riki!"
"whaaat now?" he whines, laying on your bed, occupying the whole bed. "you and your huge ass body just occupying my whole fucking bed, scooch over!" he groans before rolling onto the other side. "you're annoying..." he murmurs with a muffled voice. "but you love me," "but i love you, you're right," he lays on his back, glancing at you. "that's why you are annoying~" he whines, rolling onto his side, pulling you closer to him by your waist.
"y/n are you awa-AAAAH! WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE?!" your sister walks in your room while riki tried to pull you closer to you, attempting to cuddle with you. "AND WHY-" she closes her eyes shut, trying to wake up from that fever dream.
you stand up from the bed and takes her hand, pulling her to talk outside of your room. you close the door behind you while your sister's eyes stayed shut. "tell me, god, am i dreaming? what the fuck did i just saw?" you sigh, squinting your eyes at your sister's childish like behaviour.
"open your fucking eyes, y/s/n," "is this the devil? is this god? i don't even know anymore! i'm going crazy..." "open your eyes!" you whispered-yell, trying to avoid waking up your grandma ━ even though she is a deep sleeper. "okay, sorry," she finally opens her eyes and stays quiet.
"what were you going to ask me?" "so we are going to ignore what just happened? what i just walked in?" "why do you got to be so nosy?" you ask her and she looked at you, offended. "why? you're pissed off because i happened to walk in while you were trying to kiss the love of your li-" "SHUT!" you cover her mouth. "he's going to hear!"
she is strong enough to take your hand off her mouth, whispering: "i'll leave you alone with him." she smirks and then winks at you, going back to her room. you rolled your eyes once she reached the door of her bedroom and sent you a flying kiss, mouthing: "use protection!"
you went back to your room and closed the door, locking it. you slowly turned around, embarrassed. "good job, y/n! forgetting about the first rule of the hundred of 'sneaking in' rules! 'inside version' because you live here, so-" "shut up," you sigh, laying on bed with him. "yes, ma'am." a minute of silence formed, but riki quickly broke it. "can we cuddle now? i am dying to- uh... cuddle, yeah..." you strange his behaviour but, obviously, agrees.
enjoying being the little spoon, you remained completely silent, loving the way his wide arms were around you and his hands rubbing your back. the warmth exhaling from his covered chest felt like you had the world keeping you close.
"y/n?" his voice echoes and you hum. "mhm?" "do you like... writing letters?"
© 𝓪𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝓮, 𝗺𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗮 𝗌𝓽𝓾𝖽𝗂𝗈𝓼. ⋆
Perfect Pretend ୨୧ 𝓨ang 𝓙ungwon
𝓼ynopsis : Trying to avoid your friend’s matchmaking attempts, you fabricate the perfect, ideal boyfriend. However, when your curious friends press to meet him, you hastily share the name of an unsuspecting stranger. What starts as a harmless lie spirals into chaos as your friends become determined to meet the man behind the photos, leaving you struggling to keep your perfect pretend from unraveling.
𝓹airing: influencer!jungwon x fem!reader. 𝓰enre: social media au, strangers to lovers, fluff, possible angst.
𝔀arnings: cursing, kys/kms jokes, bad attempt at humor, and possibly more to be added.
𝓼tatus: ongoing, to be updated daily! taglist: open, send an ask or comment to be added!
𝓯eaturing: WEEEKLY’s Jihan as YN, 8TURN’s Yungyu, STAYC’s Yoon, BOYNEXTDOOR’s Taesan, NMIXX’s Sullyoon, KISS OF LIFE’s Belle, and IVE’s Wonyoung.
PROFILES.
psych ward | microcelebs
CHAPTERS.
prologue. someone is bitter
one. the way i would kms
two. bitchless syndrome
three. hard launch yeah <3 (0.4k 💬)
four. operation : yngyu
five. why so ominous (0.2k 💬)
six. whats with the interrogation
seven. code red
eight. don’t do anything stupid
nine. are you flirting with me (0.5k 💬)
ten. is your girlfriend single (0.3k 💬)
eleven. addicted to serving cunt
twelve. answer before i kms
( and more chapters to come! )