What If: The Gotei 13 Offers Ichigo The Creation And Captaincy Of The Fourteenth Division?

important !! please read and reblog !!

it’s unfair of us to have platforms and not use it to speak up for palestinians. i have resources provided below for how you can educate yourself on the ethnic cleansing that is happening in israel right now and how you can help.

educate yourself

thread on what is occurring in sheikh jarrah, another thread

thread of infographics about misconceptions regarding israel and palestine

tw bombing video of al aqsa mosque being bombed

tw violence, tw bombing, tw shooting video of palestinians in al aqsa mosque

tweet explaining importance of al aqsa

a website where you can learn more about palestine

a video breaking down the history of the israeli oppressing palestinians

video of palestinian explaining the importance of spreading awareness

tw violence video of 16 yo palestinian boy being forcefully evicted from his home by israeli solders

tiktok of palestinian speaking about what is going on in her country. please see the links in her bio for more information— tiktok will not let me copy and paste her linktree

tiktok of palestinian speaking on situation in gaza

instagram page for jewish voices for peace, an organization working for liberation and justice for palestine

free ways to help if you cannot donate

do NOT sign petitions !! they are not accounted for in the middle east and do nothing.

simply go to this website and click

watch this video to donate, it’s 3 hours long but just playing it in the background can help

watch this video to donate, it’s 1 hour long but just playing it in the background can help

if you are from the U.K., follow these instructions to call local MPs into action

if you are from the U.S., text RESIST to 50409 to urge congress to help palestine

thread of dua’as muslims can make to pray for palestinians

boycott israeli products

donate— it is better to donate directly to people rather than organizations, but i do have a few organizations listed.

do NOT donate to change.org

help children and hospitals affected by gaza bombing

help hungry children in palestine

donate to palestine child relief fund, known to be reputable

donate to united palestinian appeal, a direct charity

donate directly to journalist injured in gaza

ramadan zakat fund for palestinians in gaza

i’ll add more links as i continue to find reliable sources and proper donations. please dm me other resources and i can add them to this list. if anything here is not trustworthy, please let me know immediately and i will take it down. free palestine until it’s backwards, pray for palestinians who do not know whether they will be safe in their own country.

last but not least, if you are a zionist, unfollow me immediately. i don’t need you on my tumblr. and do not use what is happening in palestine right now to be anti-semitic.

im obsessed with the difference between the Wayne family and the Kent family. like i can imagine Clark and Bruce working on some kind of case at the watchtower when Kon storms in angrily talking about how Jon won’t stop whining to play games on his phone and it’s really getting on his nerves and Clark needs to go and tell him off bcs he won’t listen to Kon, and Clark sighs before turning to Bruce with an eye-roll like ‘kids amiright?’ and then they hear a far off scream from Dick on the other end of the watchtower that’s like ‘BRUCE JASON KEEPS DRESSING UP AS NIGHTWING AND KILLING PEOPLE IN BLUDHAVEN AND NOW IM BEING INVESTIGATED FOR FUCKING MURDER AGAIN!’ followed by an evil Jason-like cackle and a crash, and Bruce just grunts and stands up to go investigate with a chuckle, returning Clark’s look like ‘oh don’t i know it haha’ as if the two are in any way comparable and Clark isn’t staring at him like his whole family is insane

I just found the alt!swinging pendulum bits you've done and I am blown away. The really funny thing? I actually remember wondering how things would be going if Ichigo wasn't alone in that verse the first time I read it years ago. Having you explore that and having those bits be UraIchi is beyond my own imaginings! How did Kisuke take waking up in the past? Did he know Ichigo was thrown back too, or did he think he was alone for a while? Any chance you'll ever consider a bit from his POV?

I imagine the Soul King (following SP canon) offered them the same deal when they were both locked up in Muken. They wake up in different places in the past though so that might’ve caused a bit of panic, especially since Kisuke would’ve known Ichigo was in bad condition before coming back, and the Soul King didn’t exactly give them details about where they would end up.

My muse does not want to write anything above in Kisuke’s pov (or anyone’s pov) though so Imma just give you something else in Kisuke’s pov. Takes place sometime in the future after the other two bits I wrote.

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Could you do KoyoIchi (Swinging Pendulum), please? C: I have fallen in love with this ship ever since you posted those short one-shots (or whatever they are called) a while ago.

Hmm you didn’t include an AU and I’ve already done a KoyoIchi SP AU in the last batch, there’s not much else I can write for that I think. So how about KoyoIchi post-canon AU instead, where Ichigo’s human body gives out after the Quincy War, so he ends up splitting his time between SS and the Human world afterwards.

Edit: omg wtf did i do i went off i’m sorry this ended up semi-background pre-relationship KoyoIchi + like a dozen unrelated headcanons thrown in it’s a mess fml

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Short snippet from the Bleach I Knew You AU.

But before I begin. *Insert deep sigh here.*

Secretlypansexualmango, if you see this, it was supposed to be a response to your ask. Unfortunately, it took a hard left-turn and ended up in. Uraichi shipping territory? Look, IDK, I'm asexual, I don't get it either. Anyway, since I don't know your shipping preferences and don't want to accidentally respond to your ask with something that squiks you, I will be officially responding to your ask in another post that is less likely to be unexpectedly unpalatable. Thank you for your patience, and, uh, I hope this doesn't turn you off the au! (*laughs nervously*)

Without further ado, the snippet:

Breaking into the Shiba family grounds is easy. By sheer comparison, breaking into Shiba Ichigo’s room specifically is almost a challenge, but it’s not anything that Kisuke hasn’t planned for.

The strange, modified kido, and the odd wards Ichigo has placed, are simple to bypass with a bit of fancy footwork and precisely-timed counter-kido. It’s practically child’s play to get past them, now that he's roughly figured out how they work and where they all are.

His job is made even easier by the fact that, for some reason, Kisuke’s spiritual pressure doesn’t wake Ichigo up. Quite the opposite, in fact. He seems to sleep deeper when Kisuke is nearby and has let Benihime out a little.

He has theories about that.

He’s tired of them being theories.

He’s here to get evidence.

Kisuke bypasses the final seal and slides Ichigo’s window open, slipping into his room. He lets his spiritual pressure permeate the air a little thicker than he would in normal company, and as expected, Ichigo’s spiritual pressure slows down as he falls further into slumber.

… And Kisuke is supposed to believe that the first time they met was two months ago? When this is Ichigo’s reaction to his presence? When Ichigo is one of the most paranoid people Kisuke, an ex-onmi agent, has ever encountered?

Kisuke is a genius. He doesn’t need to be in order to see the flaw in that logic.

Kisuke steps further into the room, gliding softly over the old wood floorboards. He pauses in the middle, taking a moment to debate where to start.

Well. Why not with the simplest?

He’s caught it a few times, the barest trace of his own power lingering around Ichigo. A fascinating phenomenon, when he can’t recall a single time he’s drawn shikai around him, let alone used enough power to leave a long-lasting trace.

He draws closer to Ichigo’s bed, until he could reach out and touch him if he wished.

Ichigo breathes deeply, evenly, no sign of waking up. At some point, his covers ended up half kicked-off. Possibly from the heat, probably from nightmares. Regardless of the reason, Kisuke can’t help but think that he looks strangely fragile this way, surrounded by the evidence of his restlessness.

He puts a hand on the the hilt of his soul-partner. “Awaken, Benihime,” he murmurs.

She stirs within him, gently, in a way that is oh so rare. Like the softest, most gradual of ocean tides, she rises, her fragrance of wet iron washing through the air around them.

And together, channeling her power through his eyes, they see.

Glowing crimson threads that they have no recollection of weaving wrap protectively, lovingly, around Ichigo. A thin but strong filament, sewn through the skin from just below Ichigo’s ear all the way to his opposite shoulder, sutures closed what must have once been a deadly throat wound. Another one, obviously originally meant to keep shut a gash down the length of Ichigo’s forearm, keeps it companion.

And beyond the battlefield sutures there are more threads. Hundreds of intangible and deceptively thin and absolutely unbreakable strands of Benihime’s power wrap around Ichigo, crisscrossing over themselves — around his throat and across his face and down his torso and up his arms, visible wherever his bare flesh is exposed — seemingly serving no purpose.

Benihime’s power surges at the sight, a hot delight running through her as she sees Ichigo so thoroughly caught in her webs. Kisuke’s fingers suddenly, urgently ache with the urge to touch, to tighten, to add more.

Soul King.

No purpose other than, it seems, to satiate their own possessiveness.

Kisuke exhales a shaking breath. Closes his eyes for a brief moment. Gets the heat in his blood under control.

No purpose other than to alert themselves, perhaps? Did they know that one day they wouldn't recognize Ichigo anymore, and left this as a clue?

(And oh, what a clue. What a clue it is.)

He lets Benihime’s power fade, taking his hand away from her hilt. He’s self-aware enough to know when he needs to stop tempting himself, and he’s gotten the evidence he came for — far better proof than he could have ever anticipated.

He takes a step back, and the motion is the most unnatural thing he’s done in a long, long time.

He has questions. He has a few theories, too. Amnesia, caused by a very specific type of parasitic hollow. Dimension travel. Time travel. He doesn’t have enough information yet to figure out which is most likely, but he has finally confirmed beyond doubt that Ichigo is his, has been his, and something tried to steal that from him.

Fury flares within him, burning through his veins, and he can’t do this right here.

He takes another step back, this one just as unnatural as the last.

He can’t ask, yet. He can’t get closer, can’t wake Ichigo up with a soft hand on his cheek, can’t tell him that he’s there now, can’t promise him to take care of it all if he would just let him in again.

No.

Shiba Ichigo is in the middle of a chess game — a dangerous one, a complicated one — and Kisuke can’t see the whole board yet. Tipping his own hand might trigger a whole plethora of traps, including another round of amnesia, and he refuses to risk the knowledge he’s regained.

He will have to be careful. He will have to move cautiously.

He casts one last look at Ichigo, lets his eyes trace over that delicate throat that he now knows almost bled out. That delicate throat that had to be held together with Benihime’s webs. That delicate throat that he doesn’t remember stitching back together, despite the fact that he used his bankai to do it.

He was made to unknow a person he loves. He was made to unknow a war. He was made to unknow the fact that danger lurks still in the shadows of Soul Society.

He will know the end of this game. And Ichigo will learn that there is no universe in which Kisuke does not protect what’s his.

Kisuke turns. Takes another unnatural step away from his favorite, infuriating puzzle. And then he wrenches himself out of the room, out into the night, closing the window behind him and leaving as unnoticed as he had come.

Frank Castle x Steve Rogers - regret (ao3)

"Frank," Steve whispers, afraid to say any more for fear of breaking the moment- whatever it was.

"Yeah, baby," Frank responds, his voice low and husky, the way it always got when he had Steve naked and mewling in his bed.

One of Frank's hands reaches up to caress Steve's neck, pulling back the neckline of his sweater further, stretching the material until it exposes the expanse of pale skin that Frank used to know so well. He presses his thumb to a dark, purple bruise there, making Steve whimper.

"He do this to you? Hm?"

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64061896#main

omg #22

pierce: captain america knows you exist and will now not let us be. you need to take care of him.

winter soldier: of course

——————

winter soldier: you should eat more. your serum would’ve affected your metabolism so if my calculations are correct, you ought to be eating at least twice the average human being.

steve, spilling his coffee: HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE

——————

steve, about to sleep: (:

winter soldier: it’s supposed to get super chilly around 2am so you should probably wrap up warm. here are some extra blankets

steve, startled: WERE YOU UNDER MY BED THIS WHOLE TIME

——————

steve, in a battle: dang i’m bleeding who shot me

winter soldier: here let me clean the wound and i’ve got a bandage right here just sit still don’t worry but when you’re done fighting you should probably get this looked at i know your serum heals you quicker but there might be something stuck in it and you don’t want your skin to grow over anything inside

steve, crying: who are you why are you following me

winter soldier: please be careful and make sure you get home safely

——————

steve, at peggy’s funeral: i can’t believe she’s gone

winter soldier, from behind: everything’s gonna be alright. she lived a long and fulfilling life. she loved you so much and she’d want you to carry on making a change in the world.

——————

pierce: soldat, mission report

winter soldier: mission is going well. captain rogers is eating more regularly, taking more care in battles, his exercise routine is no longer unhealthy. he is still grieving agent carter, but i believe he’ll be okay. last night he let me tuck him in-

pierce: i- that’s not what i meant

Okay but has Rhapsody in Pink (RiP 🤣) Steve been waiting his entire life to get dicked down like that by Bucky or what? Imagine him point blank telling-- nay, begging Bucky to do to him everything he would kill another man for doing hnnnng

I always told myself I would never do head canons are blog ficlets or whatever for my Rhapsody in Pink Steve and Bucky because they were too special to me to risk turning them into a tumblr ~performance item... but fuck it. I simply cannot resist this ask.

So Bucky has definitely been through a trauma. Hydra chemically castrated him and ripped his sex drive away from him, and now as a result his recovery has been marred by these really jarring sexual desires (a base desire he already had, but now turned up to eleven). But I am in love with the idea of a recovering Bucky who learns to reclaim his mind and his body by turning the consequence of his trauma on its head and “using” it for something he wants. And it’s his right to do that, because it’s his trauma—but he can’t learn to do all of that without the help of the love of his life.

... Because Steve—while first and foremost being in love with a man he thought he could never have (until now) for approximately the past one hundred years—sort of gets off on the idea of Bucky being an absolute ‘pervert’ for him (and that would be Bucky’s word, not mine). It makes Steve feel wanted and sexy, even if it kind of makes him feel like a pervert himself for wanting Bucky to want all of those nasty things from him. Basically, Steve’s kink is Bucky having this visceral desire to do depraved-sounding things to him, and he’s got some internalized kink-shame about it, but then he kind of... gets off on that shame. But again: this complicated double-shame is Steve’s issue, so Steve gets to “use” it however Steve wants.

All of that said... Jesus fucking Christ, Steve has absolutely waited his entire life to get dick like this. 

[Warnings: nsft / 18+, Dom/Sub, dacryphilia, many anal things, sex toys, derogatory names and self-slut-shaming, fantasies about some... pretty hardcore BSDM stuff. No Ao3 archive warnings would apply, but read at your own risk.] 

Here is a list of a few things I imagine happens in their bed after the end of Rhapsody in Pink:

Bucky learns to accept that it’s okay that his own orgasms feel fucking feral anytime he gets Steve to cry on his cock

Steve learns to accept that it’s okay to be proud of how smooth and “tiny” (Bucky’s word, not mine) and pink his own asshole is

They learn together that Bucky has a natural penchant for the most disgusting dirty talk:

“Yeah, sweetheart, wanna mess up those sore, puffy tits, hold ‘em together for me”

“Gonna smack this sweet hole while it’s squeezin’ my dick”

“Right there, Stevie, keep your head right fuckin’ there, be good for me while I fuck my cock between these fat, pretty lips”

Bucky pries it out of one very blushy Steve that he has a dildo in his closet, but, he just—he can’t. Steve can’t bring it out. It’s one thing for Bucky to know how much Steve likes the things Bucky does to him, but it’s another thing entirely for Bucky to see his filthy toy (Steve thought it was a really big dildo when he bought it; it’s really not) and know what a desperate fucking, just... slut (Steve’s word, not mine) that he was before all this. Still is.

... But Bucky needs it. He needs to see Steve use his little shame toy on himself so badly that one day he ties his own dick and balls up in a cock ring and fucks so many subsequent orgasms out of Steve that Steve is sobbing and begging for a break and his entire face is a red, snotty, tear-stained mess, until eventually Steve craves a reprieve from the overstimulation so badly that he agrees to get his toy out. 

(Steve pauses when he finally gets in the closet, but then Bucky follows him in and fucks him one more time over the shoe-rack just for the hesitation. Bucky milks his prostate until Steve frantically grabs the box and gets it down.)

Steve does beg Bucky to do—or at least tell him about—all those dark, depraved things that he said he would kill another man for doing to Steve. Bucky tells him about the visions his mind-fucked head has shown him of tying Steve down to the Avenger’s kitchen table with clamps on his chest and a cage on his cock and fucking Steve dry in front of anyone who could walk in. He tells Steve about the dozen different times Bucky came from thoughts of choking Steve until his face was blue and his dick was wet. He tells Steve about his drug-addled dreams of having two of himself so that he could fuck Steve with two cocks at the same time. He tells Steve about the time he jerked off so hard to the image of Steve’s ass swallowing down his vibranium fist that his dick started to bleed. They don’t actually do any of those things, though, because it’s never been that Bucky wants really them, but the thought that Bucky wants him enough for his withdrawal-sick mind to even imagine those things makes Steve come from nothing but listening and rutting his dick against Bucky’s jeans. 

(Okay... maybe they do try that last one. And maybe they use Steve’s loose, stretched body and his little shame toy to get as close to that other one as they can without time travel or cloning.)

... But first, before any of that, Bucky wakes up the morning after he first fucked Steve and spends an hour kissing his hole slow and wet and sweet and loving, just like he’s kisses Steve’s mouth.

Steve cuddles Bucky every night and congratulates him for learning to take his own body and mind back.

Hopefully I didn’t ruin my babies for you too hard 😅

[x]

random bleach time travel inccorect quotes from an AU I will probably never write (Ichigo becomes soul king post tybw cause yhwach body doesn’t hold up and then time travels to the Turn back the pendulm era for reasons I’m too lazy to explain)

Ichigo joined Squad 6 under Ginrei Kuchiki in this AU

…

Ichigo: *likes sitting in the sun, hates the rain, touch starved but still prickly enough to pretend he doesn’t like it ‘cause he was soul king for three years and barely had any proper human contact for all that time, has weird eyes and other weird traits from his hollow*

Hiyori + Kaien: *spying on him*

Ichigo: *straight hissed at someone who got to close when he was injured*

Hiyori: *ticks something else off on the list of reasons why Ichigo might be a cat in human form*

Yoruichi, the real cat shapeshifter:

…

Love: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Ichigo: Plane tickets?

Shinji: Concert tickets?

Lisa: Prostitution?

Love, holding holding his broken sunglasses: Glasses.

…

Hollowified!Shinji: *Screams*

Hollowified!Hiyori: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Kisuke, concerned: Should we do something?!

Ichigo, observing: *thinking back to his hollow training and how much the Visored fucked with him for fun*

Ichigo: Nah, I want to see who wins this.

…

Kensei: Dammit, Mashiro!

Mashiro: What?! It wasn’t me!

Kensei: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Shinji!

Shinji: Not me either.

Kensei: Oh…Then who destroyed the entire training ground?

Ichigo + Kaien who thought it would be fun to spar but went a little too far: 

…

Ichigo: *Gently taps table*

Kaien: *Taps back*

Hiyori: What are they doing?

Kisuke: Morse code.

Ichigo: *Aggressively taps table*

Kaien: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

…

*Lieutenants on a mission*

Kaien: I think we’re missing something.

Lisa: Teamwork?

Hiyori: Cohesion?

Ichigo: A general sense of what the fuck we’re doing?

Kaien: … Where’s Mashiro?

Mashiro: *fighting a bear in a forest three districts away*

Lisa:

Hiyori:

Ichigo: … Fuck

Kensei: *in Squad 9 barracks* I  S E N S E  A  D I S T U R B A N C E

…

Shinji: Tonight, one of you has betrayed us.

Kisuke: Is it me?

Shinji: No, it’s not you.

Tessai: Is it me?

Shinji: It’s not you either.

Aizen: Is it me, Captain?

Shinji, dying because of Hollowification:

Shinji, mockingly: Is IT mE CaPTaIN?

…

Kyouraku: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Kisuke: I’ve been dissociating for the past two and a half hours.

Ukitake: I got distracted about halfway through.

Lisa: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

…

Ichigo: Can I be frank with you guys?

Kaien: *confused* Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Mashiro: Can I still be Mashiro?

Shinji: Shh, let Frank speak.

Ichigo: 

Ichigo: *lunges at Shinji*

…

Ichigo: *trying not to laugh* Tell Kensei about the birds and the bees.

Mashiro: *serious* They’re disappearing at an alarming rate

…

Yoruichi: Soifon, keep an eye on Kisuke today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Soifon: Sure, I’d love to see Urahara get punched.

Yoruichi: Try again.

Soifon, sighing: I will stop Urahara from getting punched

…

*The Visored+ Hollowified!Kaien is getting into a car*

Ichigo: *the only one who know how to drive* I’m driving

Mashiro, out of view: Shotgun!

Kaien, turning to face Mashiro: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Mashiro: WOAH-

Mashiro, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

…

Lisa: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Hiyori: *turning to Shinji* How tall are you?

…

Kaien: 

Ichigo:

Kaien: In my defense–

Ichigo: You have no defense you let Byakuya meet Gin

Kaien: but–

Ichigo: Byakuya. The same cocky shit that tries to fight anything that moves fast enough. And Gin. The creepy shit that thought it was a good idea to work with megalomaniac rather than talk to people

Kaien: You don’t have any room to talk about bad communication but in hindsight it wasn’t my greatest idea–

Ichigo: understatement of the century

Kaien: But I was bored and you have to admit it was a little funny

Ichigo: 

Ichigo: *covering his face because the sight of baby Byakuya getting punted into the Kuchiki Koi pond by baby Gin was actually hilarious but he refuses to admit it* I hate you

…

Kensei: I sometimes drink milk straight out of the container

Mashiro: the COW?

Kensei:

…

Kisuke: You have to apologize to Shinji

Hiyori: Fine.

Hiyori: ‘Unfuck you’ or whatever.

…

Kaien: I told Ichigo his ears turn red when he lies

Mashiro: Why?

Kaien: So I can do this

Kaien: Hey, Ichigo! Do you love us?

Ichigo, covering his ears: No.

Mashiro: Aw, Berry-tan

Ichigo: Shut up, seaweed brain!

…

*Shinji and Kisuke sitting in jail together*

Shinji: So who should we call?

Kisuke: I’d call Hiyori, but I feel safer in jail

…

Shinji: Hey, how old are you?

Ichigo: Twenty-four–

Ichigo *remembers that the soul society doesn’t have the same age system*

Ichigo: two hundered

Shinji: 

Shinji, concerned: did you just say–

Ichigo, nervously: TWO HUNDRED

…

Shinji: What do you think Ichigo will do for a distraction?

Kaien: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*several building explode due to Getsuga Tensho*

Kaien: … or he could do that.

…

Kisuke: I know you’re a time traveler, Kurosaki-san

Ichigo: (Play dumb!)

Ichigo: Who’s Kurosaki?

Ichigo: (NOT THAT DUMB!!!)

…

Love: What’s a word thats a mix between 'sad’ and 'mad’?

Kensei: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Mashiro: Smad

Kaien: Ichigo

Ichigo:…

…

Shinji: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Kensei: You’re a hazard to society

Hiyori: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

…

Ichigo, babysitting: Violence isn’t the answer.

Byakuya: You’re right.

Ichigo: *sighs in relief*

Byakuya, reaching for a brick: Violence is the question.

Ichigo: What?

Byakuya, running to hit Gin on the head with a brick: And the answer is yes.

Ichigo, running after him: NO-

Ginrei, watching the chaos while drinking tea: … Today’s a beautiful day

…

Kisuke: *Accidentally hits Hiyori in the face*

Kisuke: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry’ and 'Are you okay’*

Kisuke: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Hiyori, confused: What’s wrong with you?!

Shinji: *wheezing in the background*

…

Ichigo: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Mashiro: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

…

Kaien: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Mashiro: They do.

Ichigo: … Why did you say that with such certainty?

…

Shinji: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

…

Kisuke: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

…

Kaien: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Ichigo: Killed without hesitation.

Kaien: No.

…

Kisuke: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Ichigo: What did you do?

Kisuke: Nobody died.

Ichigo: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

…

Kaien, euphoric from his date with Miyako: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Kukaku: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

…

Aizen, trying to be friends with Ichigo b4 he died: I made tea.

Ichigo: I don’t want tea.

Aizen: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ichigo: Then why are you telling me?

Aizen: It is a conversation starter.

Ichigo: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Aizen: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Ichigo:

Ichigo: *two seconds away from a homicide

…

Mashiro: what is it called when you kill your friend

Ichigo: Amicicide

Kensei: Murder

Mashiro: Homiecide

…

Ichigo: *looks like Kaien and Isshin*

Kaien: *suspicious but has no proof*

Ichigo, lying becuase he doesn’t want to deal with the emotions that come with seeing Isshin again: I’m not a Shiba

Ichigo: *uses Getsuga Tensho*

Kaien, throwing a table: oKAY, I CALL BULLSHIT

…

Ichigo: *having a chill day in Rukongai by himslef

baby Rukia, Renji, and their gang: *chased by a merchant they stole from*

Ichigo: 

Ichigo: *adopts them*

…

Okay, that’s more than enough for one post

Yes, Kaien is hollowfied here because I want him to be, yes, I really like adding animalistic traits to characters I love don’t ask me why

This is so much longer than I planned but it was too fun to stop