Okay But Bucky Kissing Steve’s Hole Better After He Uses It 🙈🙈🙈

random bleach time travel inccorect quotes from an AU I will probably never write (Ichigo becomes soul king post tybw cause yhwach body doesn’t hold up and then time travels to the Turn back the pendulm era for reasons I’m too lazy to explain)

Ichigo joined Squad 6 under Ginrei Kuchiki in this AU

…

Ichigo: *likes sitting in the sun, hates the rain, touch starved but still prickly enough to pretend he doesn’t like it ‘cause he was soul king for three years and barely had any proper human contact for all that time, has weird eyes and other weird traits from his hollow*

Hiyori + Kaien: *spying on him*

Ichigo: *straight hissed at someone who got to close when he was injured*

Hiyori: *ticks something else off on the list of reasons why Ichigo might be a cat in human form*

Yoruichi, the real cat shapeshifter:

…

Love: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Ichigo: Plane tickets?

Shinji: Concert tickets?

Lisa: Prostitution?

Love, holding holding his broken sunglasses: Glasses.

…

Hollowified!Shinji: *Screams*

Hollowified!Hiyori: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Kisuke, concerned: Should we do something?!

Ichigo, observing: *thinking back to his hollow training and how much the Visored fucked with him for fun*

Ichigo: Nah, I want to see who wins this.

…

Kensei: Dammit, Mashiro!

Mashiro: What?! It wasn’t me!

Kensei: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Shinji!

Shinji: Not me either.

Kensei: Oh…Then who destroyed the entire training ground?

Ichigo + Kaien who thought it would be fun to spar but went a little too far: 

…

Ichigo: *Gently taps table*

Kaien: *Taps back*

Hiyori: What are they doing?

Kisuke: Morse code.

Ichigo: *Aggressively taps table*

Kaien: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

…

*Lieutenants on a mission*

Kaien: I think we’re missing something.

Lisa: Teamwork?

Hiyori: Cohesion?

Ichigo: A general sense of what the fuck we’re doing?

Kaien: … Where’s Mashiro?

Mashiro: *fighting a bear in a forest three districts away*

Lisa:

Hiyori:

Ichigo: … Fuck

Kensei: *in Squad 9 barracks* I  S E N S E  A  D I S T U R B A N C E

…

Shinji: Tonight, one of you has betrayed us.

Kisuke: Is it me?

Shinji: No, it’s not you.

Tessai: Is it me?

Shinji: It’s not you either.

Aizen: Is it me, Captain?

Shinji, dying because of Hollowification:

Shinji, mockingly: Is IT mE CaPTaIN?

…

Kyouraku: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Kisuke: I’ve been dissociating for the past two and a half hours.

Ukitake: I got distracted about halfway through.

Lisa: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

…

Ichigo: Can I be frank with you guys?

Kaien: *confused* Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Mashiro: Can I still be Mashiro?

Shinji: Shh, let Frank speak.

Ichigo: 

Ichigo: *lunges at Shinji*

…

Ichigo: *trying not to laugh* Tell Kensei about the birds and the bees.

Mashiro: *serious* They’re disappearing at an alarming rate

…

Yoruichi: Soifon, keep an eye on Kisuke today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Soifon: Sure, I’d love to see Urahara get punched.

Yoruichi: Try again.

Soifon, sighing: I will stop Urahara from getting punched

…

*The Visored+ Hollowified!Kaien is getting into a car*

Ichigo: *the only one who know how to drive* I’m driving

Mashiro, out of view: Shotgun!

Kaien, turning to face Mashiro: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Mashiro: WOAH-

Mashiro, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

…

Lisa: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Hiyori: *turning to Shinji* How tall are you?

…

Kaien: 

Ichigo:

Kaien: In my defense–

Ichigo: You have no defense you let Byakuya meet Gin

Kaien: but–

Ichigo: Byakuya. The same cocky shit that tries to fight anything that moves fast enough. And Gin. The creepy shit that thought it was a good idea to work with megalomaniac rather than talk to people

Kaien: You don’t have any room to talk about bad communication but in hindsight it wasn’t my greatest idea–

Ichigo: understatement of the century

Kaien: But I was bored and you have to admit it was a little funny

Ichigo: 

Ichigo: *covering his face because the sight of baby Byakuya getting punted into the Kuchiki Koi pond by baby Gin was actually hilarious but he refuses to admit it* I hate you

…

Kensei: I sometimes drink milk straight out of the container

Mashiro: the COW?

Kensei:

…

Kisuke: You have to apologize to Shinji

Hiyori: Fine.

Hiyori: ‘Unfuck you’ or whatever.

…

Kaien: I told Ichigo his ears turn red when he lies

Mashiro: Why?

Kaien: So I can do this

Kaien: Hey, Ichigo! Do you love us?

Ichigo, covering his ears: No.

Mashiro: Aw, Berry-tan

Ichigo: Shut up, seaweed brain!

…

*Shinji and Kisuke sitting in jail together*

Shinji: So who should we call?

Kisuke: I’d call Hiyori, but I feel safer in jail

…

Shinji: Hey, how old are you?

Ichigo: Twenty-four–

Ichigo *remembers that the soul society doesn’t have the same age system*

Ichigo: two hundered

Shinji: 

Shinji, concerned: did you just say–

Ichigo, nervously: TWO HUNDRED

…

Shinji: What do you think Ichigo will do for a distraction?

Kaien: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*several building explode due to Getsuga Tensho*

Kaien: … or he could do that.

…

Kisuke: I know you’re a time traveler, Kurosaki-san

Ichigo: (Play dumb!)

Ichigo: Who’s Kurosaki?

Ichigo: (NOT THAT DUMB!!!)

…

Love: What’s a word thats a mix between 'sad’ and 'mad’?

Kensei: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Mashiro: Smad

Kaien: Ichigo

Ichigo:…

…

Shinji: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Kensei: You’re a hazard to society

Hiyori: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

…

Ichigo, babysitting: Violence isn’t the answer.

Byakuya: You’re right.

Ichigo: *sighs in relief*

Byakuya, reaching for a brick: Violence is the question.

Ichigo: What?

Byakuya, running to hit Gin on the head with a brick: And the answer is yes.

Ichigo, running after him: NO-

Ginrei, watching the chaos while drinking tea: … Today’s a beautiful day

…

Kisuke: *Accidentally hits Hiyori in the face*

Kisuke: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry’ and 'Are you okay’*

Kisuke: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Hiyori, confused: What’s wrong with you?!

Shinji: *wheezing in the background*

…

Ichigo: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Mashiro: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

…

Kaien: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Mashiro: They do.

Ichigo: … Why did you say that with such certainty?

…

Shinji: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

…

Kisuke: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

…

Kaien: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Ichigo: Killed without hesitation.

Kaien: No.

…

Kisuke: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Ichigo: What did you do?

Kisuke: Nobody died.

Ichigo: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

…

Kaien, euphoric from his date with Miyako: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Kukaku: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

…

Aizen, trying to be friends with Ichigo b4 he died: I made tea.

Ichigo: I don’t want tea.

Aizen: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ichigo: Then why are you telling me?

Aizen: It is a conversation starter.

Ichigo: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Aizen: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Ichigo:

Ichigo: *two seconds away from a homicide

…

Mashiro: what is it called when you kill your friend

Ichigo: Amicicide

Kensei: Murder

Mashiro: Homiecide

…

Ichigo: *looks like Kaien and Isshin*

Kaien: *suspicious but has no proof*

Ichigo, lying becuase he doesn’t want to deal with the emotions that come with seeing Isshin again: I’m not a Shiba

Ichigo: *uses Getsuga Tensho*

Kaien, throwing a table: oKAY, I CALL BULLSHIT

…

Ichigo: *having a chill day in Rukongai by himslef

baby Rukia, Renji, and their gang: *chased by a merchant they stole from*

Ichigo: 

Ichigo: *adopts them*

…

Okay, that’s more than enough for one post

Yes, Kaien is hollowfied here because I want him to be, yes, I really like adding animalistic traits to characters I love don’t ask me why

This is so much longer than I planned but it was too fun to stop

funniest 'Jason Todd comes back as red hood and starts talking to the bats without telling that he is, in fact, Jason Todd' trope is where Red Hood starts becoming minorly friendly with the bats and lets slip that Jason Todd is indeed still alive, but not that he is him.

now this can result in multiple outcomes, however i think the funniest possible version is the version where while Dick is bemoaning about the loss of his little brother and how great Jason is and how he wants to talk to him again, and without a second of hesitation Red Hood just nods his head and goes 'oh yeah, hottest robin by far, too. sexy as shit, that guy is.'

this results in the entire bat family fully believing that Jason Todd was somehow revived and taken to the LOA where he met and fell in love with this murderous assassin known as Red Hood, and the two are currently in a relationship.

Jason, petty and pissed at his family, decides: holy shit that's funny. and he goes along with it, meaning there are multiple occasions where we get interactions such as

Batman, brooding on a rooftop: the second Robin... he has always had such a big heart.

Red Hood, cartwheeling in the background: big dick too, godDAMN

Batman: i am begging you to stop.

---

Nightwing: you're DATING my little brother? AND YOU WONT LET US TALK TO HIM?

Red Hood, full of shit: he's too busy visiting venues for our wedding next autumn. and before you ask, no, you're not invited.

Nightwing:

Batman: you mean to tell me, you're marrying my son, and you won't allow us to be at the wedding?

Red Hood: Jason's decision.

Batman:

Red Hood: Green Arrow's walking him down the isle

Batman: ok thats it-

---

Red Robin: so is your fiance happy about all this crime lord murder stuff?!

Red Hood: my future trophy husband understands that if he's going to be able to sit and look pretty for me, then I need to bring home some serious cash, now stop interrupting my work.

Red Robin:

Red Hood:

Red Hood: for real tho, Jason's so hot-

Red Robin: STOP IT

bonus scene:

Dick: Damian, did you know about this?

Damian, hasn't been paying attention: know about what?

Dick: Jason's engaged to Red Hood!

Damian:

Damian, knows full well Jason is full of shit because he grew up with the guy in the league:

Damian: hes what now

Jason in the background: *violently gesturing death threats*

Damian:

Damian: yes. i'll be travelling home in the fall to be the flower boy. I believe Todd has already picked out my suit.

Dick:

that christmas, Bruce Wayne receives a card with an obviously photoshopped Red Hood that's got his arm around Jason's shoulders, who also has a photoshopped wedding dress on. Damian is stood in front of them, a 'just married' banner in his hands, looking very much like he was paid to be there.

Dick never forgives Jason for making him think that Alfred was invited to the wedding and he wasn't.

during occasions where Batman is really needed and Dick and Bruce are both unavailable for some reason, they have to call up Jason because he's the only other one of the bats that will properly fill out the suit. Bruce hates these occasions. Not because he doesn't want Jason to be Batman, but because Jason uses these opportunities to fuck with Batman's reputation as. much. as. possible.

while in the suit, he referred to 'himself' as the JLA's sugar daddy on live TV, and Bruce is still having to deal with it to this day. one time Bruce threatened Jason that he couldn't have guns on him while Batman, and Jason proceeded to leave his guns at the cave only to show up to the fight brandishing multiple giant water guns which he shot at police officers and nobody else. he flexes his arms and does 'sexy superheroine' poses every time he spots a camera aimed at him, even if he's in the middle of fighting somebody. he acts like he's best friends with the Flash. every. time.

Bruce wants to die inside. Dick quite honestly finds it fuckin hysterical, and he keeps trying to get into accidents whenever HE'S supposed to be Batman so that Jason has to do it instead.

Bruce tries to bribe Jason with money. Jason accepts the money. Jason does not stop. Bruce does not get his money back.

those pirates are doing anything except for going for one piece

jason comes back to gotham as red hood and the batfam have no idea who he is or that he has anything to do with the league of assasins until during a wayne gala theres a hostage situation and before bruce or anyone can figure out a way to go suit up a crime lord appears and saves everybody only to have a publically friendly catch up session with.... damian wayne.

damian covers to the press afterwards that its because of red hoods 'i dont hurt kids' rule and that he'd met the guy a few times in crime alley before he was dumped on bruce's doorstep. gotham's citizens are slightly concerned but honestly? the scary stabby child that's been glaring at them from the corners of parties since he got here with absolutely no backstory or history in gotham turning out to have a past with crime alleys most infamous protector/crime boss? it's a little comforting.

it's less comforting to the bats.

damian, getting out the car after the gala: I don't know what hood was thinking, making me his public ally. he's lucky the simpletons of this city bought that, don't you agree father?

damian: *turns to see the rest of the family staring at him with hard eyes*

damian:

damian: ...what did i do?

everybody's less than pleased that damian withheld the info that red hood is trained and from the LOA, but damian simply maintains that they never asked. when further questioned about why his relationship with hood was so familial and about what his identity is... they get

damian: hood was perhaps my favourite tutor back home, the only one i didn't kill. he taught me many things, from how to poison somebody to famous quotes and sayings from classic literature.

bruce: what. is. his. name.

damian: you know what one of those sayings was? 'snitches get stitches'

dick: *slams his face into the wall*

tim: well you did want him to be more childlike.

they eventually have to move past it because damian won't budge, unfortunately jason is finding this whole scenario fucking hysterical because holy shit he'd thought about coming back and pissing off his family through their secret personas but he hadn't even considered the beauty of coming back and pissing them off through their public personas.

and from then on the entire batfamily has to deal with pretending to be nervous or wary every time the red hood comes and crashes their very real wayne public events. it's fucking incredible. jason can't believe that he was gonna try and beat the shit out of tim to freak out bruce when all he had to do was grab a glass of champagne, walk up to the dude, and ask politely how stocks at WE are doing. 'brucie wayne' has no fucking clue what to do, and jason just poured the champagne against his helmet and let it all fall to the ground and everybody's too scared to say anything.

nobody else bats an eye when red hood becomes an occasional presence at these fancy events, apart from the people who know for a fact they could be on his shitlist. mostly because this is gotham, but also because they know he's a crime lord so like... riches and business running wise he kinda fits the bill for these things anyway? and if the stoic kid of brucie wayne eases up around him then the whole 'i dont hurt kids' thing must ring true so it's not like he'll cause too much trouble. also the guards are too scared to tell him he's not allowed in, so there's that.

the bats hate everything about this. they don't even know what red hoods game is, they have no idea why they're being tortured and they're getting paranoid about it. damian's absolutely no help because he's just happy to 1. get to see his brother on a regular basis again, and 2. get to see his brother find a less self-destructive outlet for the pit rage he's watched jason struggle with for years.

it's also just really fun to watch tim accidentally fall asleep against a wall mid-gala, wake up to red hood's helmet 2 inches from his face, and then almost break his own hand trying to punch it because he forgot that he wasn't in-mask and had to hold back last second.

dick is mostly just indignant because every time red hood shows up and hangs around near damian, damian immediately becomes a picture perfect public persona, interacting with the elites of gotham with the same expertise of tim or bruce. he's so mad that a crime lord can wrangle HIS little brother in public but he can't, that he completely disregards the whole crime lord thing and starts bugging red hood both in and out of mask about how to be a better older brother to damian. at one point he corners red hood on a rooftop mid patrol.

nightwing: ok, seriously, when I asked damian not to be rude to the new investors he told a woman her coat looked like it would hold up in a fight against two-face, but when YOU ask he becomes a model citizen, what is UP with that?

red hood, being an asshole: *gasp* y-you're.... YOU'RE RICHARD GRAYSON?

nightwing:

nightwing: ....oh my god you didn't know?

red hood: no i fucking knew you're just an idiot. and damian listens to me because I'm the only tutor he could never kill and he knows i'll beat his ass with my magic swords.

nightwing:

red hood: and also im the only one at the league who played Just Dance with him so i get special privileges, like telling him what to do.

dick asks damian to play Just Dance with him that night and damian just looks at him all forlorn, like 'it wouldn't be the same without the exhilarating thrill of knowing if anybody catches us hood will be stabbed and thrown in the lazarus pit again as punishment for corrupting me... it was really an unfair punishment considering he replaced grandfather's bed with a plastic pool covered by a sheet once, and the only punishment he got for that was being banned from the family dinners for two weeks'

dick stares at him. damian just adds 'he used to sit outside the window like a dog. watching and occasionally yelling about the injustice. mother gave him a plate of roast potatoes through the window once. grandfather disapproved.'

nobody knows quite what to do about red hood becoming a gotham elite, but they are becoming more concerned about damian's family's dynamic every goddamn day.

Bruce watches from the shadows above, perched on a rooftop, his gaze fixed down below. He tells himself that he’s scanning the Arkham Knight armor for design weaknesses, but his attention keeps drifting to the lines of Jason’s waist. It's crafted for efficiency and intimidation, yet there is something almost scandalous about how it fits him. The armor cinches his waist, and the fabric clings to his skin, making his shoulder appear even broader. He shouldn't notice the way it hugs his body perfectly. Jason presses his fingers against his helmet, sneering something into the comms, then starts walking. Hips swaying, stalking forward like a goddamn feline. The pointed ears are a mockery of a bat, but Bruce sees nothing but a cat.

The light from the city frames Jason's body, showcasing his slim waist and Bruce can't help but wonder what it would feel like to press his fingers into the soft skin, to hold him down and never let him run off again.

A wave of nausea crashes over him as it usually does when these thoughts claw their way into the back of his mind, grabbing on like a parasite until they drain his thoughts and leave him thinking of little else. It's a sickening familiarity. Jason turns his head suddenly, tilting it upward toward the rooftops. Bruce knows he's shrouded in darkness from where he is standing, hidden from being spotted. But Jason pauses in his steps, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, the curve of his hip exaggerated even further as he places one hand there. His stance is almost suggestive.

Bruce feels his entire body stiffen as he can't tear his eyes away. The stance, the way his armor pulls tight across his waist and hips, and the way his fingers tap idly against himself, as if taunting whoever might be watching, entirely ripped apart all of the self-control he prided himself on having.

The suit doesn't only protect Jason—it weaponizes him. Bruce is convinced it's with purpose, serving as a distraction for all of his enemies. Jason finally moves again, but the damage has already been done. The image is seared into Bruce's mind and he knows it will come back to him, late at night when he's lying in bed. He hates himself for it.

Okay but when does Aizen /realize/ they're equals who're in this mess together? Is that when he finally catches on to the fact that he inadvertently fell for the Ichigo Effect™?

Lol basically yeah, but I think it would take a while for him to put it all together. And not just time but moments - they already eat together pretty regularly but Aizen could see that as the only times when they can update each other on what’s been going on, and they are, more or less, but they’re also Ichigo inviting him into his home and Aizen cooking because Ichigo’s busy with leftover paperwork, and just meeting up more and more often to see each other/check up on each other instead of just for end-of-the-world business.

And maybe Aizen stays late one night and Ichigo nods off over the research they’re doing into the Wandenreich and Aizen ends up having to deal with Ichigo in the clutches of a nightmare. He debates leaving but doesn’t. He debates shaking Ichigo awake and does, but he also debates returning to their research and pretending nothing happened and he doesn’t. Instead, he fixes them some tea and pushes a cup into Ichigo’s shaking hands and sits beside him in a steady sort of silence until Ichigo calms. They don’t talk about whatever the nightmare was about, but Aizen returns the next evening with a list of teas that soothes the mind and encourages peaceful slumber.

(It’s the first time in a long time he is genuinely kind without an ulterior motive and he doesn’t even realize the impact of it on both of them until much later.)

Or Shinji pushes too far one day, because he has no idea what’s been going on with Aizen lately but it frustrates and worries him, because if his lieutenant thinks he can get his manipulative paws on the Shiba Clan through their youngest Shinigami graduate, he can think again. And Aizen usually lets all his captain’s mockery and suspicion slide right off him, but he has his sore spots too - things like growing up in Rukongai and getting locked up in Muken are memories he will never admit still bother him, but flashbacks don’t need permission to creep up on him, and maybe Shinji bites out a threat too far one day, tells Aizen that creeping on the Shiba boy any more than he already has might just result in a permanent trip to Seireitei’s deepest, darkest hole, and he doesn’t even mean it, not entirely, heck he doesn’t even think it would be something that would scare Aizen at all, but for a moment, all Aizen can see is nothing - no sound, no sight, no smell, no sensation - not even just darkness but a nothingness so endless that there were times when he felt he would lose himself in it, swallowed whole until his mind was a splintered thing and his body a soulless husk.

Shinji almost loses his life that day because Aizen deals with threats the way he’s always dealt with them - kill them before they can kill him - and it is very fortunate for everyone involved that Ichigo chose to visit that day. Ichigo catches Aizen’s wrist before he can do more than grip his Zanpakutou, and Shinji only gets time to blink and maybe begin to realize that he’s actually fucked up with his lieutenant for the first time ever, before they’re gone, Ichigo Shunpoing them both out of the building, out of Seireitei even, and straight into the sprawling woods in one of the Shiba compounds dotting the richer districts of Rukongai. He lets go as soon as they’re safe, activates the seals a half second later, and then he has no more time to think as Aizen lashes out, something borderline feral glinting in his eyes, fighting his mind as much as he’s fighting everything he can reach. It takes a full hour and an entire forest razed to the ground before he calms. They’re both bleeding and breathing hard, clothes torn and dirty, and it’s the first time Aizen has ever been able to let loose in a spar without killing his opponent in the process. He gets half a second to wonder if he should - for once - apologize, because he hasn’t lost control like that in centuries, but Ichigo just asks him if he’s alright now and what happened and does he need to punch someone in the face.

(Aizen doesn’t tell him but Ichigo breaks Shinji’s nose anyway.)

And there are other little moments, some that Aizen writes off or doesn’t even notice their significance, but they pile up, one by one, until it all just clicks one day, when he’s swinging by the Twelfth to pick Ichigo up for lunch and maybe amuse himself with Urahara’s thinly veiled jealousy as the captain watches his own Fourth Seat leave obliviously with Aizen for their lunch break.

(And even former would-be overlords can have silent panic attacks about EMOTION.)

in the ura + ichi time travel au kaien was (understandably) concerned that ichigo suddenly started hanging out with kisuke. what would kaien's opinion of ichigo and aizen hanging out be, though? since aizen was a generally well liked person back then and all that. would kaien see aizen as a good influence on ichigo or do you think he would be more reserved about it?

@yoshifics @bewarethemandragora @runeofluna @selenedreamwalker @hypnos28 @verticallychallengedintrovert @fandommaniac2401 @lovingempress @cynthia-of-the-wallflowers @shadowsofmoonracer @pairp @warriorofbooks @charlottedabookworm @lyra689 @sheyrenawyrsabane @sora-the-empress @xadriannax @yumeniai @arrysa @lirial89-fanfiction @skysong246 @caiahat @grimreaper19 @arosethornbyanyothername @mtkiseki @kaminoko-x @nesskyru @tatarako @parklena42 @zibeth-a @aerdnanocte @timegrenades @healingmichiko @shiko-rae @soraofmelody​ @fandoms-make-the-world-go-round @north-peach​ @yannilicious​ @wolfsrainrules​ @franticchanges @tremendouslyminiaturequeen​ @nesomoxian​ @snowspine​ @helix-security @ciesste​ @skyrel @moon6shadow-main​ @naramyon​ @presumenothing​ @miralifox​ @nonbinary-hawke​ @dejunco​ @yuzukimist​ @raz-ia​ @13oddballbooks​ @soundofwonderland​ @ryuutsuki-kun​ @alyss-spazz-penedo​ @jaryushu​ @lolibat​ @echonekochan​

…I accidentally shoehorned Shinji into this whoops.

Anyway, you mean in the Aizen&Ichigo time travel verse right? Hmm well I know I dropped several hints in SP of Kaien (and a few others) knowing that there was something not-good up with Aizen, but canonically speaking, literally nobody except Shinji ever suspected him, so I think in this verse, I’m going to go with Kaien being one of the many who think that Aizen is just a reliable Shinigami and a generally upstanding guy. He doesn’t hero-worship him like the younger/lower-ranking Shinigami but he respects Aizen as a fellow lieutenant and the Fifth was really lucky to manage nabbing him for their squad.

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Thoughts on selkie jason todd?

SELKIE

Look I’m a sucker for mythological creatures and selkies hold a soft spot in my heart (although I get anger issues reading the og myths most of the time because literally the number of people that considered it okay to steal the selkie’s seal skin and then had the audacity to be sad when the selkie found it and LEFT is frankly astounding, like, bro).

But Selkie!Jason is such a sweet concept I’m just gonna list some headcanons below 💚

Remember Jason’s red hoodie? That’s his seal skin. Living on the streets, the only truly secure place for him to keep it was on him. And the first time Alfred took it to wash it (not realizing what it is) he went downright feral thinking Bruce was trying to trap him. The hoodie was returned to Jason posthaste, but Bruce and Alfred simply assumed that Jason was so protective of it because his mom gave it to him or something.

Once Jason gets used to the manor he takes to safely stashing his seal skin in his room. Bruce and Alfred held to their promise of never going inside without their permission, so he finally relaxed after a couple tense months.

Bruce finds out about Jason’s Selkie heritage by accident when Jason sneaks out of his room at night to take a dip in the pools deep inside the cave system running below the manor. Bruce panics when Jason goes inside and doesn’t come back up for air for several minutes and dives in after him. Only to come face to face with a wide eyed baby seal.

It takes forever for Bruce, Dick, and Alfred to find Jason in the cave systems afterwards. Dick manages to coax him out by pretending to drown until there’s suddenly a little seal pup nudging him back towards the surface.

All the cuddles. Have you seen baby seals? They are ADORABLE.

Jason ends up feeling safe enough to just— leave his seal skin lying around the manor. At first it’s a test, to see what the others will do now that they know. But everyone either pointedly ignores it or picks it up to hand it back to him if they need the space. Eventually Jason even allows it maintain its natural form of actual seal skin instead of a disguised hoodie or jacket.

When Jason dies, his seal skin is still lying on the armchair in Bruce’s study where left it. Nobody dares to touch or move after Jason’s death. Bruce cannot bear to bury it with his son.

(When Jason comes back he thinks Bruce stole his skin)

Birds on The Bird App Masterpost

All the Gotham Twitter posts can be found here. If you want to be added to the tag list, lmk!!

1 - Meant to be on Priv

2 - Eating burritos sloppy style

3 - Hood's war against being verified

4 - Out of costume intermission

5 - Hoods war against being verified pt 2

6 - RIP Grammy 🕊🕊

7 - Pride Month

8 - tweeting during your lunchbreak

9 - Damian and Animals, a compilation

10 - Saw trap Cornell notes

Tag List under cut

Ask/reply/dm to be added!! Whatever works for you!!

Note: some of the names aren't linkable/taggable via tumblr on mobile due to some users visibility/privacy settings. If you are one of these folks, I'll do my best to let you know of future installments via dm/ask

Taglist

@desicanary // @thegayseance // @soaring-through-the-stars // @thebat-musicman // @percyyeuss // @pathofglory // @andreaissy // @themiraculousec // @gnomewithalaptop // @viola-cola // @milotic109 // @kamala-msmarvel-khan // @suffer-my-beloved-mutuals // @arcadianico // @your-dead-european-ancestor // @asmodeusmustdiexo // @max-volume // @itsmeevie01 // @leagueofbats // @catostrofiqu // @amillionandonefandoms // @shykitten28 // @atlasaurelius // @ihavenohotcocoa // @kai-antreas // @living-on-borrowed-time // @o-i-have-too // @aroaceass // @silverwolf1249 // @cannimochi // @lesbianbooknerd // @scarlettauthor // @twinningglass // @1n0sss // @craptastico // @lovethewitchofendor // @insomniacweebqueen16 // @fashionstatement-deathwish // @brieftimetravelwhispers // @crabs-brencil // @universal-travel-er // @royal-illusion-loves-his-fandoms // @blankliferain // @p1xel-1mp // @kades-stuff // @theweevilofsweetreef // @fablehaven-rulez // @kalifornialove // @justahoomanbeing // @frosty--giants // @you-are-valid-and-deserve-love // @slitherynchiken // @kazbrekkersfedoraaintgotshitonme //