INSIDE OUT (2015) Dir. Pete Docter

Starting to walk alone

In case you have learnt swimming in a traditional way, you should know it that first time, a teacher gives a support to the learner and the learner tries to survive in the water thinking s/he has a companion to support. Meanwhile, a time comes when the teacher makes the learner free and the learner still tries to swim assuming the presence of the teacher.

The moment the learner sees back ,realizing that he is alone, gives him two feeling.

1. The instant void feeling

2. The aha moment that yeah! I have learned it!

I know I am going through a path in my life when I saw behind, I saw none to guide me to my path. The aha moment is still ahead. But I know I am learning an invaluable skill

to walk alone.

( Don't get it otherwise. I am not saying that I don't have any well wishers, family members, friends to support me. Of course, they are beside me. But that's another part. To get my dream fulfilled, I need to take further steps where none will accompany me. And it's not bad. It's necessary for everyone to be self dependant. Some learn it fast; some do not. In case of me, it's harder. But I know I can cope up with it.

If you want to get something, you need to sacrifice other as well.)

"Read 500 pages like this every day.That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest. All of you can do it, but I guarantee not many of you will do it..''

Warren Buffett

কথায় বলে ‘মাঘের শীতে বাঘে পালায়’। ‘মাঘ’ হাড়কাঁপানো শীতের মাস। ‘মাঘ’ নিয়ে কবিগুরু রবীন্দ্রনাথ ঠাকুর লিখেছেন, ‘পুরানো শীত পাতা-ঝরা, তারে এমন নূতন করা/মাঘ মরিল ফাগুন হয়ে খেয়ে ফুলের মার গো’; ‘শীতের বনে কোন সে কঠিন আসবে ব’লে/শিউলিগুলি ভয়ে মলিন বনে কোলে’। কবি অমিয় চক্রবর্তী ‘মাঘ’ নিয়ে লিখেছেন ‘মাঘ সংক্রান্তির রাতে’ নামে কবিতা। এ কবিতায় তিনি লিখেছেন, ‘হে পাবক, অনন্ত নক্ষত্রবীথি তুমি, অন্ধকারে/তোমার পবিত্র অগ্নিজ্বলে/অমাময়ী নিশি যদি সৃজনের শেষ কথা হয়/আর তার প্রতিবিম্ব হয় যদি মানব-হৃদয়’...।

I wish it were "মাঘ মাস".

Myself 1: I got all the maths of conics wrong when i was given to do. I am right now crying.

Myself 2: Remember the day when you did the maths.

Myself 1: Ummm....

Myself 2: Then how do u expect u will do correct maths? Did u memorise the maths? Or..

Myself 1: 😡 i diddd not memorise.

Myself 2: thenwhat? You wanted to solve the maths at Once?

Myself 1:ya.

Myself 2: Ok, then i think for problem solving you didn’t get sufficient time. Remember, HSC is not a place for problem solving. Ahhh, you have to memorise the maths repeatedly! Otherwise you can't get the maths correct.

Myself 1: i thought i could solve maths correctly. I believed myself. Now how will I cover all those things?!?

Myself 2. Wanna get 95+/100 in HSC.

Myself 1: ya.

Myself 2. Stop arguing, and memorise MATHS😠 Right now!

The one reason I hate the “online communication” is-

The notion of ‘trust’ & ‘honesty’ mostly doesn’t fit here.

I am not telling all are dishonest; I am telling there’s more scope available.

“Earlier, I asked you to consider two factors in assessing online honesty: (1) the communication venue, and (2) the topics people lie about. When it comes to the venue, research suggests that we’re most honest on social networking sites and least honest on dating sites. When it comes to what we lie about, we’re most honest about our personality, and least honest about our physical appearance.Despite the fact that the Internet makes it easy to fabricate major lies, most of our online lies are minor, suggesting that, overall, we’re pretty honest on the Internet. But this doesn’t mean you should throw caution to the wind in pursuing online relationships or that there are not some people who do greatly misrepresent themselves online. Basic safety precautions should be taken when meeting an online friend offline for the first time, just as you would with anyone you don’t know well. But this research suggests that we shouldn’t be so quick to distrust those we meet online.“ 

That sounds so positive >-<

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201407/can-you-really-trust-the-people-you-meet-online

That regret of becoming more real after spending hours on screen when I look at the sky and think how small I am.

That hope when a news of new scholarship pops up.

That anger after listening lots of shouts from another room over a trivial topic.

That love after seeing a worst drawing of my sister who tries to draw myself.

That rage after having the news of the worst incidents of the world.

That disappointment after reading the posts of amazing accomplishments of same aged teens.

That urge of getting new reactions over what texts I sent.

That arrogance after winning the last trivial argument.

That discouragement after doing the worst careless mistakes.

That imagined impression of failure after getting rejected from all universities.

That motivation after planning whole day ahead.

That quest of thirst after thinking a new WHY.

That's what my life is. No, I am not that person who will tell you an amazing story of my success. I am a simple person having many mundane stuffs in my everyday life. And I am happy; I am lost in these insignificant and humdrum emotions.

Things are simple when you are an ordinary in this extraordinary world.

Oh i answered these, really?

9 11 15 19 20 for the ask 😜😎

9.Best month for you this year?

rn my head is blank. oho is it december really>? when had the year gone? I think the year did not go well but the best month was January( whatever I say about college, new new college, new new feelings! ;)

11. Something you want to do again next year?

Hmm. That’s a difficult question. Practically I want to take SAT again next year(lol). But if you say about habit, I want to be strong in any hard circumstances I am going to face next year like this year.(only u know frnd what I had to face this yr and I did not break down)

15.What’s a bad habit you picked up this year?

Oh! A lot!! Firstly sleeping habits. I slept about 10 hrs every day this yr on average. Secondly. my thinking habit(to lie in the bed in the daytime for thinking—>  sleeping—->omg 3 hrs gone!) Thirdly, increasing screen time( tremendously upsurged(abt 9 to 10 hrs per day)) and finally ADHD. I remembered I was totally a nerd in 2018 and now? OMG. It’s not me really.

19. What’re you excited about for next year?

I generally don’t become excited regarding any matter. But next year(most prolly) I will finally decide my life’s goal—> that can’t but exciting.

20. What’s something you learned this year?

The amount is too big that I will not be able to express in words. Actually, I learned from very small fixes of my life. And I can not help saying about your advice every day. Our discussions were really very informative over every topic( philosophical also XD). I learned how to stay calm in the worst conditions. I learned how to give mental support to my family. I learned I am also important to someone :)

#thanks for asking #end year asks #answered by rasha #asked by fahmida

I have no friends ----> friends do not need to be mentioned always.

My realization need to be changed, it's normal. But sometimes we learn many things suddenly. I can't express my feelings in a sudden though i want to keep a memory of my sudden feeling. From childhood, I never felt the necessity of friends and I was too unsocial to make friends. It's like friends were burden. I was unlucky to get someone who could explain the significance of friendship to me. Even though I tried from my side to be a friend,I felt one day that I am an incapable to be a friend. So, later I thought I have no friends. But the definition differs. Now I think It's not need to mention in front of all that I have a friend that "You are my friend". I realised that friends are not for showing off, friends are not for passing time. Friends are those who tell you that you can. Friends are those who knows your faults but don't leave you. Friends are those who respect your philosophy, don't want to divert you. Friends are those who laugh silently in your success in spite of their hardship. Friends are those who are sent to this world for being your friends. It's not needed to think when friendship grows. Friendship is friendship for its own reason. A friendship can never be fade, never be broken. It can only be strengthened and last long forever.

Criticisms are unfair and so are praises.

I changed a lot. My thinking changed a lot. Really believe me, I am not me now what I wanted. I am not comparing myself with anyone. But when I see I am getting the result of dumbness of past myself , whom will i blame? I stuck in the midway. I stuck in the labyrinth of laziness. I am warning myself, if I don't stay in my path, result will be harsh Rasha!! So, please wake up!