Imagine Damian forming a plan to catch Santa Claus. He’s written a letter, accumulated some traps, and stayed up all night just just to do this. He absolutely denies believing in him BUT what if the man does exist???
Dick intercepts the letter, like the good big brother he is, gathering the forces. Tim disarms the traps, Dick and Steph both get the presents, and Jason dons a fat suit and climbs down the Wayne manor chimney (Dick owes him big time).
It’s all worth it seeing the absolute astonishment of Damian’s face when Jason starts gobbling down the milk and cookies set out (and avoids swallowing the tracker hidden inside both items) before grunting up the Chimney.
They fein all knowledge of the incident in the morning. Bruce gets an absolutely earful from Damian about “increased security on Christmas Eve.”
IVE PEAKED ILL NEVER MAKE ANYTHING BETTER
Au where dick is always snippy with Jason when he’s wearing his helmet.
The second he takes it off? Normal big brother.
On? Irritated bastard.
Off? Best sibling you could ask for.
On? Constant glares and scowls.
When Jason finally gets fed up he confronts Dick about it. He’s shot people in front of his brother and gotten a better reaction than putting on the helmet does!
Dick had no idea he was doing it and mutters something about the helmet reminding him of deathstroke before he has to go run off to stop a robbery.
Jason is…baffled tbh
I miss them, my kids
AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND
Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.
But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.
But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like
“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”
AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”
and Batman would respond
“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”
JL: “NO?!”
anyway I think it's rlly funny the idea that Matthieu and Alfred both love cheap box Mac and cheese (Matt way more tho, he has issues); and François is just HORRIFIED by it. Like they bring the little microwave cups to a world meeting for lunch, heat them up, and suddenly François just comes barreling in and smacks it out of their hands.
They're both like, really confused bc "you're the one who got us hooked on Mac & cheese???" and he flips bc "No! I got you obsessed with GOOD Macaroni and Cheese, not this!"
canon v fanon, dunmeshi edition
Just a cute lil thought:
Since Bruce's kids all love to play around and hide in his cape as Robins, I wonder if he makes them blankets out of the same materials as his cape so they can have a piece of security when Bruce isn't there?
I remember in Dick and Jason's older comics (correct me if I'm wrong), they used to stay up late waiting for Bruce when he'd go out as Batman alone, so I'm gonna take this as confirmation that all his kids have done this at some point.
So now I'm totally gonna hc that in order to encourage his kids to not stay up late for him or as a way to help them feel more safe and secure when he's not there, he makes them all blanket replicas of his cape for them to snuggle with :')
And also just imagine his kids all grown up, and they STILL have the blankets with them, regardless of if they've moved out.
Bruce: *waking up in a hospital that he drove himself to after having a heart attack and telling absolutely nobody* hey…
The entirety of the batclan looking over him with Dick in the centre, an absolute terrifying grin on his face:
Dick: hello Bruce, nice evening isn’t it? Got something to share with us?
so i decided to use references and i’m happy with them :D
The batboys have a weird approach to their masks…
Like we all know that the masks are more than just a mask: they are advanced communication devices, heat sensors, cameras, lenses, etc. etc.
But different versions have different capacities: canonically Dick has mentioned that Batman’s cowl has longer range than Nightwing’s maks.
Which makes sense considering the size and weight of Batman’s gear: as Dick puts it “this weighs a ton!”
For Batman, Mr I’m ready for everything, having such a crippling gear makes sense: he adjusts his muscle strength, his movements, his fighting style to work with that weight.
But for Robins, oh it gets ridiculous!
For starters, Dick prefers agility, greater visibility and flexibility over advanced capabilities. His tech is smaller, lighter, provides necessary technological assistance without being a burden for his acrobatics.
Jason followed the same route during his both Robin and Red Hood years, with a twist… You see Red Hood’s helmet is non-technological! It doesn’t have any tech on it… Jason still relies on his mask for the tech: the helmet is expendable! It’s a last resort hand grenade for goodness sake! And because he separated from Batman, his system is pretty lowtech: Bab’s highlights that a lot saying Jason needs better encryption and tech.
Tim, however, goes back and forth with favoring advanced tech and agility. His cowl? Has all the tech Batman usually has… With all the disadvantages… Later he goes back to the Robin-style emphasis on agility. He goes through the same process with his wings. Functionality of the wing, flexibility, help with movement and agility… Those “goofy wings” from Robin War? Those were TIM wings! His struggle to balance BatTech with Robin-Batics!
Things get beyond ridiculous when we get to Damian, Mr All Authentic Martial Artist! The guy prefers to work alone, hates constant babbing, goes on undercover off the grid missions, Lazarus Island, Superboy stories… What do we end up seeing? Damn paint!!! Just two circles painted on his face!!! The guy is like “Fuck advanced weapons! I’m an advanced weapon!”
Which is sooooo funny to me…?…
Like the most lighthearted Robin is the one that favors light-tech, the darkest Robin is the one that prefers no tech, the most Bat Robin fluctuates between BatTech and Robin-Batics, and the most explosive Robin (not sorry for the pun) literally goes for explosive tech!