I Hope Devon Leaves Her Loser Sellout Failhusband For The Slightly Unhinged Fugitive Brain Surgeon Living

Hi Maggie, I'd really like to hear you say a bit more about why you wrote Adam trying to repair the relationship with his abusive parents in the Raven King. What is the merit in salvaging a relationship such as that, and do you think it is possible for Adam's parents to truly redeem themselves? P.S. Can't wait for Call Down The Hawk, hopefully by the time it comes out I'll quit accidentally calling it Call The Hawk Down (every time I do that I'm like SHIT...was that it? That wasn't it...)

Dear courageofhorses,

I have also seen CALM DOWN THE HAWK which is a perfectly appropriate title.

Following is spoilers for TRK

spoilers

spoilers

no seriously

spoilers

CAVEAT: I’m going to answer this with how I interpret Adam’s character, but in the end, the books live without me, so it’s what makes it on the page and into your interpretation that counts.

THAT SAID. I’m not sure I would call Adam’s final move in The Raven King an attempt to repair the relationship, because it’s not about his parents, it’s about him. It’s about what he needs to say and do in order to feel he has the moral high ground; it’s what he personally requires to allow himself freedom.

By the time we get to that final scene of his in TRK, he’s been living on his own for quite awhile, a high school senior who fled his childhood home under duress. In that time, he’s lived through a helluva lot of traumatic and brilliant events. He’s seen his mentor die, he’s fallen in love, he’s dreaded his best friend’s death, he’s learned that he can be a good friend. 

The only time he’s seen his father in that time is when he comes busting through the door of his apartment with violence and Cabeswater intervenes. 

Otherwise, it has been only Adam and his memories of his parents, and if there is anything Adam doesn’t trust throughout the series, it’s his own interpretation of events. He’s been trained his entire childhood to doubt himself. 

So him returning to TRK isn’t about him genuinely trying to repair a relationship, to accept his parents back into his life despite all the’ve done to him. Instead, it’s about him — for the first time, ever — walking back to the trailer he grew up in without fear. He’s just come from graduation, and he’s closing the books behind him. He’s choosing to be blunt with his parents, without fear, older, wiser, more powerful. He knows he can trust whatever he sees as he walks back through that door under his own steam. It will be the truth, not what his battered emotional thoughts whispered to him for 800 pages.

Adam returns to see if, now that he knows himself, these people he saw as monsters still look like monsters. He wants to see if he becomes monstrous in their presence. He wants to feel for the first time in his life the glorious glow of the absolutely certain high ground while looking at his father. 

He wants to exorcise the memory of a fearful man who controlled his life for 17 years by instead facing him with the full knowledge that he has no control over Adam whatsoever. 

And as to the rest: shit, man. Even if your parents beat the crap out of you, it can be hard to make the decision to walk away completely. The voices whisper that maybe it wasn’t that bad –

But Adam says what he came to say.

He came to see if he ever had parents. If, once he didn’t hate himself, they might be different. And guess what: he’s the only thing that changed. They didn’t. 

He fled that trailer last time he left. Like the scared kid he was. But now he just walks out, like the man he became.

So to me, that scene is about Adam coming back to the trailer to realize this about his past:

And this about his future:

And walking out as Adam Parrish, son of no one, only himself.

tl;dr: abuse is a complicated creature with many different roads to closure. Is what Adam does right? I can’t say that. Is what I think Adam did in that scene what you think he did in that scene? I can’t say that either.

But I reckon that’s what I was thinking when I walked him out that door for the last time.

urs,

Stiefvater

lowk gansey

Adam was constantly saying “I’m employed what does this mean” whenever Gansey and Ronan did some crazy shit while he was at work

They need to invent a job where I don't have to wake up or go to it

That passage in catcher in the rye where holden is so depressed and out of it he keeps thinking hes going to die as soon as he turns the corner and begs his dead brother to keep him safe... the one where he pretty much said hed been sexually assaulted/abused before... when he loses his shit because Phoebe wants to come west with him and he doesnt want her to miss out on her play because of him... Which motherfucker said he was just a "whiny little misogynist teenager" i just wanna talk

“Is that all?” She whispered.

“That’s all there is.” Gansey replied.

i dont care if mondays rife,tuesday qednesday full of strife, thursday fuck my baka life, its friday im in sucks

Okay fuck it all, here are some reasons to love the shit out of Gansey:

• the way he cares about his friends, like he just loves them so incredibly much and always feels like he doesn’t deserve them and he sees all that potential in them and just wants them all to be save and happy and healthy

• every time he calls one of his friends “marvelous creature”

• the yearning. The yearning for Glendower. The yearning for knowledge. The yearning for every single one of his friends. The yearning for blue

• the way he doesn’t do favorites. He loves all his friends so obviously equally and even when blue joins the group and he falls in love with her he’s still not choosing her over the guys or the guys over her

• the way he makes mistakes all the time and does his fucking best to learn from them and improve

• the way he does things just for the aesthetic. His journal? The Camaro? Monmouth manufacturing? The books laying around at Monmouth? His bed in the middle of the fucking room? None of it is really practical and there are way more modern and sensible alternatives he could use but NO bitch boy has got to be extra and live his 80 year old grandpa life for the a e s t h e t i c of it all

• his intelligence. I know we talk about how smart Adam is a lot (which duh! He is.) but guys!!! Gansey is so fucking smart. He’s close behind Adam in most classes and that all the while searching for Glendower and as opposed to Adam he doesn’t need to be good. (Also he never seems to study much in the books. It’s mentioned that Adam studies a lot. It’s mentioned that Ronan studies once. It’s never mentioned that Gansey studies. I mean sure, we can assume he does study a bit but by all means not even close as much as Adam and he’s still right behind Adam in most classes!!). But also, let alone all the research and shit he did for Glendower? All the random unnecessary facts he has floating around his brain?

• so he comes from a rich white family of Republicans. Red flag, right? But no, not with Gansey. You might thing a character with that background would probably be controversial and idk man racist and homophobic and what not. But not Gansey

• he literally couldn’t give any fucks about Ronan being gay. When he finds out about Ronan and Adam all he says is that Adam better not play with Ronan’s feelings because he’s vulnerable. Also, it’s to assume Gansey already knew about Ronan’s sexuality and he never made a big deal out of it (because it is no big deal).

• Also, when Ronan made slightly racist remarks about Henry, Gansey called him out on it (and that happened like twice at least)

• number one Adam Parrish stan

• number one Ronan Lynch stan

• number one Henry Cheng stan

• number one Blue Sargent stan

• number two Noah Czerny stan (sorry but I think blue and Ronan are fighting for first place so Gansey got pushed to second because he wouldn’t want to get into that war)

• the peacemaker!!! Literally such a pure boy who hates fights so much and all he ever tries is to solve them and get going

• all he ever tries is to help and support his friends and give them all the love and best life they deserve even if he’s pretty shit at it at times (i. e. whenever he tried to help Adam with money. We know you mean well Gansey but that’s not the way to go with Adam you should know that by now)

(• the way rarely sees fault in his friends. Ronan literally once thought about how Gansey always acts like Adam is such a saint while he’s really not (Ronan’s words, not mine) and literally Gansey would excuse any bullshit Ronan does in a heartbeat without even thinking about it twice)

• how he’s always worried about his friends. When he still thought Ronan tried to kill himself how he always worried about it happening again and he keeps blaming himself for not being able to help or Adam getting hit by his father and Gansey not being able to help him out of there

• all. he. wants. is. for. his. friends. to. be. happy

• his need to always please everyone no matter what

• “Gansey was just a guy with a lot of stuff and a hole inside him that chewed away more of his heart every year. They were always walking away from him. But he never seemed able to walk away from them.”

• the amount of times he thinks of Ronan and Adam as his brothers. The unconditional love he has for them

• it might not be evident at all times because Gansey is a clumsy mess around women (Blue) BUT he did drink his respect women juice. Sometimes he just says dumb shit he doesn’t mean and learns from it

(• all the emotions and thoughts he keeps on hiding and shoving down because he doesn’t want to burden his friends with his problems?? Like, baby this is not the way to go you gotta let it out but also super sweet you don’t want to put it on your friends (which you should tho because that’s kinda what they’re there for and you’re also always so eager to hear about their problems and help them with it). He already knows he’ll die soon but he tells no one because he knows they will try to help prevent it and that they’ll get hurt because of it so he never tells them.)

(• His panic attacks. His ptsd. His insomnia. He’s trying so hard to be the positive and supportive and helpful dad of the group while he himself has major problems but he always feels like his friends are more important than that.)

• “With force, Gansey kicked off his shoes. One flew over his miniature Henrietta and the other made it all the way to the side of his desk. It slammed off the old wood and slid to the ground. Under his breath, Gansey said, "Yee haw.”

• the poetry of his thoughts and speech. Like,,,, dream me the world,,,, safe as life,,,,, excelsior,,, that’s all there is

• his almost kisses with blue and just the way he always describes and thinks of her and he’s just so. in. love

• “And everywhere, everywhere there were books. Not the tidy stacks of an intellectual trying to impress, but the slumping piles of a scholar obsessed.”

• the way him and Declan just,,, raised Ronan??? And Gansey was the parent that made Ronan feel very loved and accepted while Declan was the strict parent who just wanted to protect without giving much freedom

• wanting to use the favor to bring Noah back to life??? Like??? He could use it for anything in the world but no if he gets it he wants to use it to bring Noah back because he just loves his friends so. much.

• he died to save his friends even though he was so so terrified about dying. I mean he did it once and never wanted back. He thought about not wanting to die so so so many times. So many conversations with his friends about just how scared he is to die and how easy it would be for him to die with his allergy and all and then he just puts his life on the line for them in the flicker of a heartbeat

made this with tears still drying on my face

pynch with tongue