This Or That

And I finally see myself

Unabridged and overwhelmed

A mess of a story I'm ashamed to tell

But I'm slowly learning how to break this spell

The path ahead is treacherous. pt 2

"The path ahead is treacherous, but it is rewarding."

My heart sank deep into my stomach as I read the ominous message from my fortune cookie. It was a message from my guides, and very real, I was certain. Chills ran up my spine. As my heart began to race, I glanced down at my arms to notice goosebumps raising. These are small inclinations that spirit is close by.

My eyes scrolled over the text again.

The path ahead is treacherous.

The path had already been quite bloody treacherous, and there were even more dark storm clouds looming on the horizon. I could feel the heaviness in the air, sinkiing into my skin, down into my bones, taking up residence inside of my cells and atoms.

It's nearly laughable how many times I've fucked myself over because I ignore my foresight, doubt strong warnings in my gut, or simply decide that "I am not going to be affected by this (usually the stars)."

I took this as a very, very serious warning. I saw how the first part of the journey would inevitably end, but how it'd come to pass, I couldn't truly know or guess.

--

Several years later, I'm hunched over on on my father's basement couch, sobbing into my palms, broken, bruised, when the fortune from so long ago comes to mind.

This is the beginning, of the end, finally, I realized.

I wrote this 5 years ago, and don't remember it. I am confident enough today to share during the anniversary of my NDE:

Last year, my relationship with reality and time changed when I had a near death experience. There is no handbook to help navigate and ease me into the transition, and however tactful the spiritual leaders who guide or have guided me try to be, there is raw truth that surrounds the perceptions i encounter. There is a particular undeniable element to the visions, much like intuition but a stronger knowing backed up by irrefutable sensory evidence.

Then there's knowing higher beings.

The compassion and love surrounding me from the angels and my guides protects me from most ramifications of exposure. No words can express the gratitude for my salvation.. and yet the nature of what I have experienced has been quite maddening.

And madness came when. I felt the heavy weighted cloak of sadness upon my soul. I realized the damage that had been done under my unknowing subservience to malevolent forces.

I am healing. I am regaining control of my consciousness. I am practicing discipline and acceptance that there is. No. Easy. Way. Through. This.

No shrink or shaman or act of man will be able to heal the wounds that linger. I am at God's mercy alone, may my heart and mind be guarded steadfastly.

Happy Good Friday ✝️ 🕊

♡ butterfly bun ♡ prints. 

Happy Indigenous Peoples’ Day!

I love you to the moon and back 

Best weekend of 2025 so far 🏙🌉🌃🌇🏀🏈⚾🦅⛹️‍♂️🍽🥨🍪🍻🍟💃🕺🌬🧤🧣☔☂❄❤️‍🔥🪐🍃☘️🕹⚔️🧫🧪🧼🎀🪄🏴‍☠️🐺🌕✌ treated by my tiny pack... So much love from Philly.

all along the universe has had some invisible string tying me to you

IG @ARTBY_HZ