Shadowatched109 - ShadoWatched

i've seen quite a few people talking about how nd stevenson and the producers of nimona underdid ballister's character to allow nimona to shine, but consequentially made bal a wet noodle.

i argue that ballister is not a wet noodle, he's just being thrown into situations that's he's never dealt with before, situations entirely outside of his control.

we know that ballister was literally the top of his class. when he's fighting the knights, he absolutely dominates. he initiates the fighting (they're surrounded, swords are drawn, but nothing starts until he gives nimona the okay to go wild). he is in control and he knows what he's doing.

his unwillingness to take risks isn't because he's a wet noodle, it's because he had to learn to stay in line to get ahead. he's been training since he was a kid. he's been facing classism and societal pressure since he was a kid. he learned that the best course of action is to not cause trouble, to not act out, to do what he is told. he has been raised with systems and rules and regulations and that's all he knows.

then the knighting ceremony happens and shit goes down. all of a sudden, everything that he's been working for for decades collapses. and then nimona appears and she is so radically different from him and she is encouraging him to do things he doesn't want to do. and he doesn't know how to handle her, he's used to obeying authority and doing as he's told, he doesn't have social awareness.

and it might just be my autism speaking, but you don't shove a knight in the deep end and then blame them for floundering.

they named an award after my boy

The Legend Of SWORD DOG

From Mistymountainlegends on insta

My brothers. Sisters. Kin.

Covenant of the Blood God, we have been called to arms.

Let our Voices rise in raucous cacophony.

Tomorrow, our fallen King is to be pitted against a fearsome foe.

But Technoblade never dies.

This trial shall not conquer us.

It is in our incorporeal will, to reach this victory.

Do not let Scar triumph.

“Just one more chapter, it’ll be quick” I said.

Little did I know,

It was not, in fact, just one

Nor was it, in fact, quick.

okay 23 minutes of relaxing time

Crash

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AND WE ALWAYS WILL

Okay, the only word that I feel like gets close enough to what I'm looking for (by dictionary definition) is dionysiac, which according to my good friend *Oxford Learner's means "relating to the physical senses and the emotions, especially when they are expressed without control" but idk guys, while I'm known to be dramatic at times, saying "ugh, I'm so dionysiac rn" seems awfully pretentious

*For some reason that definition only comes up in the Learner's edition, not the regular Oxford dictionary (OED) which is weird. ¯⁠\⁠(⁠°⁠_⁠o⁠)⁠/⁠¯

Alright so sensual attraction is a thing. We all can acknowledge that, look it up on Google, confirm it. Great. Why is horny the only word close enough to describe randomly remembering I'm sensually attracted to my girlfriend? I hate that. "Horny" is wrong, that's not what I'm feeling but also I can't describe it in one word any better. Yeah, I've been thinking about my gf lightly bestowing kisses upon my skin and giving me the good shivers, but not in a "I need her to fuck me rn" kinda way, in a "wow I love feeling physical manifestations of love from my partner, it makes me happy and wow oh wow I love my gf so much" kinda way. I'm asexy horny. Gods I hate the word horny. Someone please give me an alternative word, my soul is screaming