Im Sobbing Wtf

"We just have to keep it very casual, of course. I just can't afford for you to fall in love with me."

//

"I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire."

category is: nick looking at charlie with heart eyes pt. 2 (pt. 1)

fangirl challenge • ten tv shows ↳ [3/10] friends

"I wonder sometimes what is the point of me, or anything. I should have just packed a bag like I said. I could be in your bed, languishing away until I perish, fat and sexually conquered, snuffed out in the spring of my youth. Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock."

- Casey McQuiston, Red, White & Royal Blue

Heartstopper + script extracts

nick becoming comfortable with who he is and how charlie makes him feel showed in the moments right after he kisses him

+

"Are you okay" NO. THERE ARE LITTLE FICTIONAL BITCHES IN MY HEAD. AND THEY'RE KISSING.

It’s always been you.

heartstopper + tumblr text posts

I've been spending a lot of time in the Heartstopper tag(s) while I've been sick. It's so wholesome and fun! I noticed something though:

A lot of people of all different ages have reacted to this show by thinking about how they never had, and never will have, "that."

Whether "that" is Nick and Charlie, or "that" is the friend group, or "that" is coming out in a supportive way, or "that" is the caring and supportive mentor / sibling / parents ...there's this overwhelming theme of loss and loneliness (and assumption that no one else will get it, and from adults, guilt about being so into a show about teenagers) that breaks my heart.

I think there's a lot of strength to be pulled from this story if you look beyond the "oh no, I'm experiencing nostalgia for something I've never had" feeling. The representation goes deeper and wider than just queer identities. It ranges from experiences as deep and scary as suicide ideation (however abstractly stated) to the comparatively simple but super relatable problem of being extremely awkward and showing how much you care in ways that others may find frustrating or unhelpful. (There's even more in the comics, but I'm trying to stay focused on the show.) They show us that anyone and everyone deserves to be happy, to have a good community, to be supported and loved.

"But I'm not in high school anymore—"

That doesn't matter. It really doesn't. I don't think it's ever too late to find friends and build community and be yourself and actually live your life...but god damn, I know it's hard as hell. It requires breaking down so many barriers and overcoming so many fears. I get it. I'm struggling with the difficult problem of how to do that myself.

It can be done though.

And maybe there are a lot more people out there that feel the same way you do than you think.