The Way The Leaves Fall Off In Autumn,

heartache and hellscape

You’re sharp edges and razor-smiles and jacket patches and stereos. You don’t care about the damage you cause because you refuse to believe that you’re destroying yourself. You don’t care as long as you make sure that you’re in some way making sure that someone else gets something better out of it. You hate the government and you hate everything you’ve ever been told in school, and you like the graffiti in bathrooms but you’re too afraid to add any yourself. You think there’s nothing about you that’s memorable and that’s not true, but you have an odd, fluctuating relationship with how you view yourself. Sometimes you completely devolve into reading 100,000 words in a nighit and destroying your sleep schedule because you think the bags under your eyes are cool and there’s nothing about you that you think people will notice. You don’t like talking to the cashier at the grocery store and you think McDonald’s fries are way better than Burger King’s. You have an odd relationship with everything you read because you don’t want to do two hours of research but you don’t like to take things for surface value. You’re watching the world crumble and you have no one to hold and it hurts so much that you want to burn it all down yourself. You watch too many nature documentaries and like vampires more than werewolves but hate bringing up how much you know about lore. You read the Percy Jackson series when you were a pre-teen and now it comes up every so often like a ghost from the past. You never watch new shows and you hate using other streaming services because you’re so used to Netflix’s layout. The fridge is always half empty and you’re numb to your parents arguing. You’re numb to the world in the same way an Instagram photo has heart filters. I mean…ouch. But they’re not wrong

your vibes, what are they?

Took these over the summer on top of a very low church roof when I was breaking the rules hanging with a few of my friends

PASSIVELY DONATE THRU YOUTUBE VIDEOS

here’s a small list of videos you can watch and passively donate to different funds that are a part of the black lives matter movement. if you are interested in donating as well, i’ve linked most of the funds and organizations the youtubers are donating too. please do not skip the ads!!

I FOLLOWED A PROFESSIONAL MAKEUP ARTIST’S TUTORIAL: to the Black Visions Collective (x)

80p makeup... but what’s the catch? TESTING SHOP MISS A! First impressions and WEAR TEST!: to the George Floyd memorial fund (x)

In-N-Out Mukbang: to the Minnesota Freedom Fund (x)

how to help BLM with NO MONEY/leaving your house: to protestor bail funds of different states

I Got Drunk And Gave Relationship Advice! The ULTIMATE guide to BOYS & GIRLS!!: to the George Floyd fund and other racial equality charities (x)

Baby Products I Regret Buying: to the George Floyd memorial fund (x) and National Bail Out (x)

MY #1 PRODUCT FROM 10 DRUGSTORE BRANDS: the Black Visions Collective (x)

BIG LOUIS VUITTON HAUL | SS 2020 ESCALE + MORE | hollyannaeree: to the George Floyd memorial fund (x) and Campaign Zero (x)

WANT TO DONATE TO BLACK LIVES MATTER BUT HAVE NO MONEY? WATCH THIS VIDEO: to the Black Lives Matter organization (x)

Watch To Donate For FREE: Black Lives Matter: to Campaign Zero (x), NAACP (x), Black Lives Matter (x), Unicorn Riot (x), Comminuties United Against Police Brutality (x), ACLU (x), Color of Change (x), Equal Justice Initiative (x), Reclaim the Block (x), National Bail Out Fund (x)

Huge Prettylittlething & Missguided TRY ON Haul NEW IN... MAJOR Retail Therapy!!: to the George Floyd fund (x) and others

MAY FAVORITES & BOOKS I’VE READ THIS MONTH | I Covet Thee: to The Bail Project (x)

Quarantine Graduation Cap Cake for Class of 2020 | How to Cake It with Yolanda Gampp: to an unspecified organization dedicated towards the education for black students

AMSR Putting Fenty Makeup on Rihanna (Paper Makeover): to the Black Visions Collective (x) and Support the Cities (x)

DECLUTTER, DIY & DECORATE #WITHME Little Girl’s Boho Room Transformation UNDER $100!!!: to the George Floyd memorial fund (x)

TikTokers SPEAKING OUT About RACISM & BLACK LIVES MATTER (Ft. Charli D’amelio, Dixie D’amelio): to the Black Lives Matter foundation (x)

Let’s Talk About It: Racism & Social Injustice: to the Black Lives Matter foundation (x)

“but i’m not racist?”: to the Minnesota Freedom Fund (x)

regarding everything that’s happening: to the George Floyd memorial fund (x), Minnesota Freedom Fund (x), Los Angeles bail relief fund (x), Atlanta bail relief fund (x), Chicago Freedom School (x), People’s Breakfast Oakland (x), Black Queer/Trans operated fund in MN (x)

Heyo, so this is a piece I submitted to an art exhibition (my first time doing something like this!!) One of the prompts was ‘Peace and Panic’, so I decided to take that and go a more personal way with it. You can really interpret it however you wish, it’s really just meant to exist and illicit a reaction if you relate to it. Feel free to reblog it, just know this is supposed to relate to the Covid-19 pandemic and my feelings on it. So… Yeah.

Y’all wanna know something kinda crazy that people tend to make fun of me for thinking?

Several years ago I was on a late night flight to Florida with my parents, and I decided to make a wish for 11:11. But just as I was about to make my wish I had an intrusive thought, and instead of making a wish that I actually wanted my brain instead thought “I wish the plane crashes!”

Now I’ve never fully believed in 11:11 wishes but I’ve always done them anyways for fun, but I still panicked because what if it came true for once?!?! So I quickly said to the universe (? idk) “no! I don’t actually want this plane to crash! I didn’t mean it!” And then I thought to myself “great, now a plane will crash.”

Thankfully nothing happened and we got to Florida safely.

Now, it’s the next night and we get back to our hotel room and my parents decide to turn on the news.

Imagine my shock and horror to see that a plane had crashed the day after we landed.

I, remembering the thoughts that were in my head the previous night, couldn’t help but think that I had somehow caused the crash because of my accidental wish. Like I wholeheartedly believed that I had accidentally killed people. And I fully believed that for a few years.

Now not really, but sometimes I have to stop and think about how fucked up of a coincidence that was.

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Omg look at this little cutie, how can anyone hurt them. There are only 30 of these left in the world due to illegal fishing.