Padme: We're Having A Baby!

YES

I'm praying romantic Valdug never becomes canon. It would just be wrong on so many levels.

some thoughts on valdug

currently waiting on my mentor to arrive and frankly i hope she’s still alive but i figured i may as well start typing this out

this. might get long, but essentially it’s Why I Don’t Think Valduggery Would Be A Good And Healthy Romantic Relationship, But It Would Be Interesting To See It Explored

the basis of their relationship is about missing someone else

val and skul met for the first time (excluding when valkyrie was a baby) at gordon’s will reading - personally, i think they see one another as a replacement for gordon.

skulduggery lost one of his best friend’s to his worst enemies; it’s only natural that he’s going to cling to someone who reminds him of said friend. however, the fact that this was literally a twelve year old is a bit ://, but whatever.

valkyrie just lost her uncle, and in some ways, her mentor. i feel like, unconsciously, they both looked for someone to replace gordon, found one another. which is like. yeah. odd, but whatever.

i’m also 100% certain gordon and skulduggery were shagging. and the reason why this was never mentioned is because gordon’s family (fergus and beryl) are religious, and might not have appreciated gordon fucking a guy

and also, because introducing your dead boyfriend to your mortal family might not have been a great idea

valkyrie’s personality and many of her values have been influenced by skulduggery, which isn’t necessarily a good thing.

once again, valkyrie was TWELVE when she met skulduggery for the first time. throughout her entire teenage life, she had him as a Main Adult Figure; like a parent or guardian to look up to.

she’s still going to see him, even now, as someone like that - she seemed to aspire to BE him, and i don’t doubt many of those habits are with her, even now, as an adult.

romantic valdug = them being friends, work partners and lovers. that’s a fucking lot.

essentially, with romantic relationships, you’re going to be around your partner a lot. shocking. but valkyrie and skulduggery work together, solely, for the most part. meaning that if they got together, they’d be around each other nearly constantly; which seems like a Lot. not necessarily a bad thing, no, but holy shit that’s not going to be great if they fall out over, like, laundry and have to work together on a murder.

skulduggery and valkyrie, mentally, are off the shits

neither of these two are mentally healthy in any way, shape or form. both of them are in/have been in borderline abusive relationships (see: abyssinia and vile, valkyrie being a little shit to militsa) and this sort of abuse could wildly escalate if they’re together. there’s a reason skulduggery has his reputation as a cold hearted, brutal murderer. this guy was so cold and angry he turned into lord vile. valkyrie isn’t in a good place, mentally, and skulduggery’s naturally manipulative relationship is not going to help with that at all.

if it doesn’t work out, then what?

this is more why i WOULD like to see it explored. it’s a relationship that might not work out well, have an unfair power balance, could go sideways so fast and explore things that ever should have been explored. its the exact opposite of valkyrie’s cutesy, wutesy relationship with militsa.

but if it doesn’t work out and they split up, that’s something that’s going to change them both and their opinions and views of one another forever. they’re not going to get over that one in a hurry.

and! some more personal reasons why i don’t like the idea of valduggery

bones aren’t hot, you guys are just weird

skulduggery is like one of those perfect, wattpad-esque, “what the writer would love to be in an ideal world” versions of landy. i feel like he’d treat valduggery like his and laura’s relationship, which grosses me out.

i refuse to support anything laura supports

m/f purely platonic relationships are so rare in fiction, i would genuinely love for this one to stay that way

bones still aren’t hot

i could not BEAR to find out if skulduggery has a fake dick

i had another good point here but i forgot it

OH YEAH the age gap thing being a normal part of magical society does weird me out personally, again mostly because of landy’s personal relationship. :/

this is 100% canon!! 

hey it's niche, overly specific, barely canon-compliant theory time so that i can convince myself to write this into my fic

okay so for some reason i headcanon skulduggery's wife as being called annalise? idk that's just what i call her in my head so that's what i'll call her here

annalise was caught up in the war early - by the time she was fourteen, she was helping her father (kenspeckle grouse) with healing wounded mages, and in herself was a pretty good healer. during this time, she meets skulduggery; a couple of years older, ran away from home and met ghastly on the way, and they signed up for the war together

things are dire, everyone knows too well that each day may be their last and annalise and skulduggery are close. in a relationship, in fact.

skulduggery comes close to dying one day, and annalise brings him back from the brink of death. at this stage, he's eighteen, she's sixteen. he proposes where he is, and as a spur of the moment thing, she says yes.

the wedding is messy and fast and barely a ceremony, but they're in love and everything is such a brash decision now that they want to savour their relationship for as long as they can. everything is good, or something.

annalise starts to get caught up with everything - she's struggling to find a purpose to this war, she's eighteen years old and married for two and watching her husband be battered to bits on a regular basis and going through that too, she's seeing death and blood and gore and everything awful around her and she's just so sick of it and wants it to end.

slowly, the idea of the church of the faceless starts to appeal to her. she was brought up in it as a child, her mother's family devout worshippers before her father took her away. it's something familiar enough that it's impossible not to fall back into.

slowly, she becomes more desperate. finds herself flitting between sides secretly, finds herself on mevolent's side. it was never supposed to be like this, but now she's her own faceless one - nobody knows what she looks like. she's simply a name, someone spoken about from the shadows, managing to push herself into power. nobody knows what she looks like, only that she is powerful and devout and someone who knows secrets, who holds knowledge.

skulduggery is clueless, unknowing about the way his wife leaves his side on "missions" and comes back, only for the church to have gained information, power - all from the hands of this unknown woman.

rumours, of course, start to spread. they say she is too beautiful to look at, and that is why she stays hidden. she must be older than time itself to have all of this information, and yet looks so young. she flits through mevolent's castle, seen as nothing more than a low-ranking convert, unknown and worthless. nobody associates the name known by all with that young, young face.

annalise is nineteen, and wakes, one day, to her lover's dead body beside her. she is alive, and realises that someone must know. this is a warning.

within two days, she is back at her husband's side, saying nothing about where she was. nine months later, the baby comes.

it has been three years. there is still that unknown enemy, the woman with a face beautiful enough to make men give their lives for her, and yet it is a face known by none. their daughter is three, now, and looks nothing like skulduggery. annalise knows that he'll start to suspect soon, knows that his suspicion of her unfaithfulness to him could lead to more.

one night, she leaves. releases her reflection, her child's reflection, orders them to hide until the time is right. and annalise runs.

three days of travel, alone, her child in her arms. three days and she meets a witch, offers her a deal.

a new face. a new face, one which will make men give their lives for her. a new identity, a new life.

“and,” says the witch, “what will i gain in return?”

her magic. her healing. she is young, only had her surge a year ago, and yet she is strong. stronger than she should be.

the witch accepts, and annalise brings her reflection to mevolent's castle, lures skulduggery in, and watches him die.

perhaps, in a few hundred years, she will allow herself to feel remorse. but not now. for now, she has power and a new identity to fill.

years pass. the child picks the name solace, and when skulduggery pleasant meets china sorrows for the first time, he notices her eyes. they are beautiful, a pale blue, just like his wife's once were.

four hundred years later, china still finds herself looking at her husband for longer than she should.

I feel like Never is supposed to be the sassy best friend but he’s just straight up mean to Omen and it kinda makes me sad

The Excessively Detailed Headcanon Tumblr Meme

Send me some numbers and a character name and I will tell you:

What does their bedroom look like?

Do they have any daily rituals?

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

Eating habits and sample daily menu

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

Makeup?

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

Intellectual pursuits?

Favorite book genre?

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

Biggest and smallest short term goal?

Biggest and smallest long term goal?

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

Favorite beverage?

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

What is their biggest regret?

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

Most prized possession?

Thoughts on material possessions in general?

Concept of home and family?

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

What makes them feel guilty?

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

How misanthropic are they?

Hobbies?

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

Religion?

Superstitions or views on the occult?

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

How do they express love?

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

Can we talk about how Val brought sunglasses on an assassination mission?

valkyrie being afraid of penguins is so funny to me. penguins are like 95% fat with brains smaller than their eyeballs and all they do is fall of rocks and try to steal each other’s eggs. like, i understand that she was dropped in the penguin tank as a baby, but???? pls give her some therapy and make her watch happy feet

genuinely one of the worst things that’s happened to television in the last few years (exacerbated by streaming services) is death of Filler. going from 20 episodes to 8 because “we didn’t really need that episode where the main characters went to the beach right? it had no long lasting effect” but we DID!!! we needed to see how they act without the Big Bad Plot and to establish the dynamics between the characters and lay in the sun (do they forget sunscreen? how do they react to a thieving seagull? do they get buried in the sand or do they do the burying?). the plot isn’t everything. the action doesn’t hit as hard without the quiet moments. give us character development and our little scenes back

skulduggery pleasant - resurrection.

i’ve been way out of sorts with reading as of late. heavily. and recently, i’ve picked it up again. there’s a magic to it. the reading and all that..

and i’ve reread the skulduggery series to then start with resurrection and then midnight and then bedlam, the last three books i haven’t read. and so, i need to say.

fuck i love reading. i love this story, like other stories, and i love the characters.

it’s magical. it’s heartfelt and it lessens the burdens. ya know? makes you forget about your problems, but also shows you that anything and everything you encounter is something you can pull through.

so, ya, reading is just fantastic.

also, side-note, militsa and valkyrie (if it’s a possibility) i ship the crap out of them. i also want valkyrie to be safe and happy and for her to forgive herself. by God i want that so bad.

Reblog if you're a Slytherin.

gryffindor | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

I don’t ‘zone out’. Being zoned out is my default state, and I occasionally zone back in to check how things are going.