Swimming In The Seas Of My Thoughts, Wondering If The Still Waters Would Ease My Pain.

Swimming in the seas of my thoughts, wondering if the still waters would ease my pain.

I feel like I’m… constantly in a state of what if? Constantly in my mind, I’ll always be... yours, mine... hours... hours, it’s been hours since my last breath, hours since my last wish, hours and hours.

Oh, how I miss me. I miss me before that last breath, before that last hug, before that last declaration of our love, before the last goodbye.

Before I realized that we were standing in time.

And in the midst of our oracle, you would come in like a thief in the night and steal what was mine.

You were small, you were slow, you were tactful. You were always there, in the shadows of my mind, in the corners of our rooms, in the trash in the car, the lump that’s in my throat, the ache in my stomach, the chills in my spine, the tears that fall at night, the depressive mid-day naps. You foul, ignoble, silent incubus.

You took everything I once was and forced me to be what I never wanted. I’ve died on plenty of hills, but this hill was more than my life—it was my identity, it was my creation, it was all of me.

I have no words to rhyme in this agony, hoping my sorrow and my anguish meet at the crossroads and lead me where you are.

Where we both were once standing in time.

But until we meet again, I’ll always be drowning

Amber ♾️