The More I Try To Explain Gender To Cis People The More I Understand Plato's Allegory Of A Cave

Anyways when I was sixteen I wrote a story about a spaceship's communications officer (think Uhura) who was given a brain implant when he was a baby that automatically translates every language in the universe, but which interferes with his ability to perceive and process subtle changes in tone. He hears an emotionless automated translator voice inside his head rather than hearing the real voices being physically carried by air vibrations. So he has the ability to interpret every word in every language, but he can never interpret tone of voice. And the ultimate message of the story is that understanding every possible text isn't enough -- if you don't understand subtext, you'll be isolated. The "communications officer" actually struggles to communicate more than anyone else on the ship.

You'll never guess what they diagnosed me with a year later.

The Collective You

[one system's brief advice about accepting the idea of the collective you]

One of the best pieces of system advice started from a tumblr post and was elaborated by my DID specialist. I can't find the original tumblr post that started it, so I'm making a little post of my own <3 Share the knowledge. and also hope that someone can link the original post lol.

When I was REALLY going through it™ with my first diagnosis w/ DID, and a lack of integration, all of my alters felt like separate individuals, some of us feeling as distanced as a coworker or a stranger altogether. We were just getting a grasp on internal communication between all of our subsystems, and it was rough. We felt so entirely differentiated that we were our own people trapped in one body. While I don't really care about what language you use, all alters in CDDs are a part of one person [there's only one body and brain]- the collective you.

So obvs, I'm scrolling tumblr like the chronically online doomscroller that I am, and I see this post that goes along the line of not knowing who you are, but knowing you are 'you', regardless of who you are [referring to alters]. And it said something like "we're all me enough to pick up our meds"- something like that. iirc it was a half light hearted, half advice post, but that was really good advice for me. I kind of internalized it after I processed it in therapy. It's actually why I have started to love parts language lately tbh.

After further processing this idea in therapy, Identity Confusion stopped mattering in the grand scheme of things. I focused less on worrying about who I was, and just focused on the fact that I'm me. Just like the post I saw- We are all me. The example of all being me enough to pick up my medications just applied, like, everywhere. Even when it came down to the smallest things- with coping with other symptoms too.

Oh? I don't like coffee right now? I guess I should switch to something else. [differentiated alters]

Oh? I have barely any drawing skills right now? Okay, really sucks but I can work on something else and come back to it later. [skill variance between alters]

Oh? I have to go to a doctor's appointment? I know I'll forget that- Gotta write a list, and put it up on the board so I remember. [day to day amnesia]

You know what happened? My dissociation got better! Not immediately or entirely, obviously, and my memory [re amnesia] still sucks, but that's part of the disorder- plus other disorders that I have. This idea of the collective you is something that I think is really beneficial to all CDD systems, especially during the mid to later stages of recovery.

I, admittedly, credit most of my healing to conversations I have had with my DID specialist. Especially since, without her, I wouldn't have been able to process this idea of the collective me further, but the conversation wouldn't have been started if I hadn't seen that post on tumblr. This was a budding concept with us due to the separation we had. It helped with integration. GRANTED... Not every alter got the memo, obviously, but It's something that I'm still working on. Of course, being me comes with the prerequisite that I am a person with DID, and that I am made up of multiple parts.

Now for the piece of advice I got from my therapist- Though it requires a certain level of knowledge of your own system, such as a list of alters and some identifying info [fav drinks, fav colors, those type of things]. Look at the list of your alters wherever it may be. Just whatever you use for logging your system members. Look for the commonalities between alters. There will be at least some commonalities.

For example; A good 45% of us like bunnies, 45% like cats, and 10% have a liking for other kinds of animals. Using this information, I can pretty much deduce that 1. the collective me loves animals and 2. the collective me likes cats and bunnies especially.

Another example; I looked through our simplyplural, which has a favorite color thing [in ours at least]. By looking through the list, I figured out 1. wow I like literally all colors- my fav color is rainbows and 2. I especially like pink and light blue.

More examples; the list.. THE LIST... I looked through it and saw that a good 90% of us like MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS- of varying flavors, but the common denominator was Ultra Strawberry Dreams, but all of us like [or tolerate] water as a preferred drink. From there I can come to the conclusion that I prefer water over anything else and that I have a problem with monster [being light hearted but I genuinely do].

I hope you get the idea I'm going for. I used this process for nearly every aspect of our collective identity, though some had to genuinely be voted on, such as our LGBTQIA+ labels [offline, we just call ourself queer, but that's.. aside the point LMAO].

Obviously, there are going to be outliers- Having DID comes with the fun [/s] aspect of alters being differentiated from each other in some capacity. Example for the monster energy one- We have a handful of alters that HATE energy drinks- even just fizzy drinks in general. There's one guy who will only drink Black Coffee and water- nothing else. He's the guy who is always hiding away our monsters in the way back of the fridge, but guess what!! He's me!! The part of me that doesn't want me to ruin my health over energy drinks. The part of me that knows I deserve better than my unhealthy habits.

Getting to know the collective you is just like learning about your system! It is not inherently different than figuring out what an alters dislikes or likes are. The idea of The Collective You shouldn't feel scary or anxiety inducing- if it is, you may want to confront those feelings with a therapist if you have access to one. Every CDD system is the collective [or, well, system] of one fragmented individual- That is a studied and objective fact. I wanted to give advice from one recovering system to another.

No, this will not work for everyone, every system is different, but I'm hoping this post finds the right audience in knowing that it's worth a shot to try this!

Hi.

If you believe in narc abuse or constantly want to drag narcs down, get off of my page.

If you demonize disorders and refuse to understand them, get off of my page.

If you actively want to tell someone the way they identify is wrong, get off of my page.

If you are wanting to take away someone’s ability to love themselves in a world where there’s so much hate, get off of my page.

If you take someone’s kinks and shit and want to make fun of them or call them disgusting, get off of my page.

If you don’t want to be a place where people can actively be safe in, leave.

This is a safe space. Not for some people to come here and say shit to other living beings.

I do not support endos, pro endos, non-traumagenic “systems,” pro contact paraphiles, transID people, transrace people, and a lot more. Make sure to read my DNI.

I’m making this so people know that I’m dead serious on making sure this is a safe place.

:)

I’m also using the systempunk and syspunk tags because endos suck and keep wanting to be involved in places that don’t involve them.

to be honest, i would consider it to be very disrespectful and toxic of him. Willingly, knowingly dating a system and expecting them to perform a singlet role because apparently he doesn't give half a damn about other system members (that, mind you, help the system live and function) is straight up garbage. Consider confronting him about it, because subjecting yourself to, as you put it, straight up torture for the sake of his comfort is not something that should be done in a loving relationship

I (host of a p-did system) am in a relationship with my singlet bf. Some of my more active alters have been wanting to front more, or atleast co-front, but my bf wants to spend all day talking to me and me only. He’s not interested at all in even meeting my headmates. I’ve been fronting for over a week now and it feels like torture and I really just don’t wanna front ishdbsnakkeksz

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extremely common occurrence we have of listening to music and one of the people in the back getting weepy over it

Someone in an autism facebook group I'm in just asked "How am I supposed to earn enough to make a living without burning out?"

Someone replied: "You're not. Even neurotypicals can't right now in the system designed for them. We're the canaries in the coalmine. When we start failing, they know something is wrong."

My Punk Tips for a DIY Lifestyle:

Thrift some black fabric (or grab an old black shirt you don't care for anymore), get a white fabric marker, posca, sharpie, or paint and make a bunch of patches to sew onto your clothes.

If you're a digital artist this is your time to shine! Make stencils, posters, design clothes (there are free templates online), and if you don't own a printer libraries will let you print for cheap and sometimes free. My library card allows me to print 10 pages for free.

Reuse everything or if you don't want it anymore donate it or recycle it.

Trash is very punk. Soda can tabs for instance can make for cool jewlery. It's all about creativity.

Drug store makeup is your best friend and honestly they're sometimes better than the luxury name brand products. Or hell even make some of your own.

If you need to order something I suggest etsy. Yes, some of it's expensive but you're supporting small artists and buissnesses rather than a corportation. It's also easier to find poc, queer, and neurodivergent buissnesses and artists.

Overall punk is about being creative. Just get creative and have fun!

being a sysmed is like the least punk thing you could possibly do lmao, reminds me of that 'terf is the new punk' shit from a few months ago. embarrassing as fuck.

Did you know; multiple trans people say not to use the term sysmed cause it compares being trans to a disorder which are two vastly different things? Did you also know comparing being trans and a system implies being trans is a mental illness which is transphobic? Oh, of course you didn’t silly! I forgot you’re a pro-endo and don’t know anything! My bad!

-🥀

Endos are kind of like some guy showing up at a therapy circle and saying "I don't have trauma but sometimes I flinch at loud noises, and that's kind of like a trauma response, we have so much in common :)"

Ain't my circus but I would know my monkeys anywhere.