Welcome Back To My Ted Talk.

15 Points of a BDSM relationship!

1) Communicate- The importance of this can never be stressed enough. If you are a Dom, make sure your requirements and demands are clearly expressed. If you are sub, make sure you talk about what you need and want out of the relationship. Talk about issues that arise, joys and pleasure that you both experience, things that are going really well, and areas that need to be adjusted. 

2) Go Slow- When you are starting a new relationship, or trying a new aspect of a BDSM relationship, take things slow. Nothing good comes from rushing into anything. 

3) “A” sub, not “Your” sub- Just because someone is a sub, doesn’t mean they want to be YOUR sub. Calling yourself a Dom doesn’t give you the right to call subs names, or act dominate towards someone who has never given you their submission. Treat people with respect at all times. 

4) The BDSM Buffet- It’s ok to take different aspects of different BDSM dynamics and create something that is unique and works for you. Every relationship is different. If you want to be in a DD/lg relationship with pieces of pet play and a bit of Master/slave dynamic, then go ahead! Find what works for you. Experiment.

5) Don’t EVER kink shame- It’s ok to not like every kink. It’s ok to be confused as to why someone would enjoy a certain activity or dynamic. But it is NEVER ok to shame someone for what they like to do (so long as what they like to do is legal, consensual, and safe).

6) No two relationships are the same- You don’t have to try to be like every other relationship. If your rules are super strict, or really relaxed, that’s fine. If you live a 24/7 relationship, or only play once a month, that’s ok! If it works for you, and makes everyone involved happy, then that’s all that matters. Don’t compare your relationship to others, and don’t make other people feel bad for not doing things the same way that you do.

7) Aftercare is ESSENTIAL- After any scene it is vital for the Dom to look after the sub. Encourage them, tell them they are beautiful, hug, cuddle, massage, kiss, sing a lullaby…whatever the sub needs (as everyone is different). If the sub is crying, make sure they are consoled. If part of the scene requires humiliation or intense physical/mental exertion, then make sure you re-assure them and give them a chance to rest. Most importantly, make sure they know that you love them, care for them, and want only whats best for them! 

8) Keep going over/adjusting the rules- This goes along with the earlier communication point. Don’t be afraid to adjust the rules to meet current needs. As people grow, things change. A rule that once made sense, may no longer be required, or perhaps something that was once strict needs to become more lenient (or vice versa). This should be something that both Dom AND sub talk about, and all rule changes should be mutually agreed upon.

9) Try to switch- This isn’t a requirement, but it is a suggestion. It’s hard for a Dom to fully appreciate how beautiful and difficult submission is if they have never experienced it. Likewise, a sub who has never been dominant may not understand how hard it can be to constantly be in control. Try switching (even if it is just for a half hour play session). It gives both parties experience, and everyone will learn something! 

10) Stay Safe- This seems obvious, but it should always be said. If you don’t feel comfortable in a relationship/situation….LEAVE. If you need something to stop, use the safe word! It’s the subs responsibility to make sure they are communicating with the Dom (especially if things are starting to get uncomfortable), and it is the Dom’s HUGE responsibility to make sure they are respecting all limits, and respond to safewords. 

11) Explain punishments- Never punish for the sake of punishing. Don’t just create arbitrary rules just so you can punish the sub. If you are going to punish, make sure the sub knows exactly WHY they are being punished.

12) Submission is a gift- Never take the subs submission for granted. It’s a beautiful gift that needs to be respected at all times!

13) Make sure you give rewards- Don’t just be the Dom that only ever hands out punishments. Give your sub praise for a job well done, and make sure that you give them rewards as often as you can!

14) Don’t make a habit out of acting up just so you can get punished- I’m not saying to never do it…sometimes it can be a fun little game to play. However, if you (the sub) wants to get spanked or punished, it’s ok to just ASK for it! Trust me, very few Doms will turn down the opportunity to spank their sub.

15) Have Fun! BDSM should be fun. Enjoy it! Don’t take the relationship so seriously that you don’t ever enjoy yourself. Yes…a BDSM relationship is a big deal and a lot of work…but if it’s not enjoyable then whats the point? If you can’t laugh and smile with one another, play games (that aren’t always sexual), or just enjoy each others company, then you are either doing something wrong, or you are in the wrong relationship.

This is by no means a complete list. What other things should be added to the list?

I love doms that are normally so so sweet and soft and caring but deep down are perverts that love seeing you sob on their cock as they violate every bit of you, breaking you down. Show me what you've been hiding under that kind and sweet disguise and reveal how fucking perverted you really are

You’re handcuffed to the bed, spreading your legs for me. Letting me see that pretty little cunt. I rub your clit with the tip of my strap teasing you, up and down your pussy, getting you all ready for me. You buck your hips, desperate to be pounded but not yet. I trace your bottom lip with my finger and push it into your mouth, you take it without hesitation and I feel you moaning around it, driving me fucking crazy. You whimper as I take a nipple in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it and sucking. I kiss down your stomach, feeling you squirm under my lips, you groan in frustration as I pull away to look at you, whimpering away for me like a desperate little slut. I slap your swollen clit while looking you in the eye, that naughty look forcing me to line my strap up with your entrance. I shove it inside of you giving you what you want, you gasp and moan as your eyes roll back in to your head. I’ve got a firm grip on your thighs as I pound into your tight cunt. I fuck you hard, your breaths hitching in between moans. I can see you getting frustrated because you can’t touch me, I smirk at you and take my thumb to your clit rubbing small circles, you throw your head back, dirty words and ‘oh fucks’ falling out your mouth, I love how fucking dirty you get for me. Your legs are wrapped tightly around me as I pound into you till your body tenses, I force you to look me in the eye and with one hand around your throat and a few slaps to your clit, you’re cumming all over my strap like the good little slut you are

yes i have a praise kink. yes i get embarrassed about being praised. yes this means you should pin me down and hold my face in your hands so i can't get away when you praise me

why can’t a subby boy be making me a sandwich with nothing but an apron on rn ?? i wanna grope him while he’s making it 😕💔

Are you blushing, puppy? All because I called you a good toy? My good toy. You’re just a pretty fleshlight, barely have enough brains to be embarrassed. You like it when I pick you up and use your holes like a real toy? My hands tight around your waist, fucking you back and forth on my cock? Use your words, puppy. Good toy, thats it. Fuuck, sweet thing, you feel so incredible. Tightest little toy, oh my god, you were made to please me.

Casual cockwarming is so hot… just unzip at any time and slip your soft cock into my mouth like it belongs there. Teach me that if your cock isn’t in your pants, it should be in me. Doesn’t matter if i’m doing something at the moment, a hole should be available to warm you for as long as you want

eating a girl out for the first time? as someone with a couple of decades' experience (i started young, ok?), can i offer some advice?

take your time. your aim isn't to make her come as fast as possible, it's to make sure she enjoys every moment. slow down, revel in the process of finding out what she likes.

tell her how beautiful she is, how tempting her cunt looks, how intoxicating it smells, how sweet she tastes. she might be feeling vulnerable, especially if she's inexperienced too - it's your job to make her feel safe and adored.

enjoy the journey - i know you just want to feel your tongue on her clit NOW, but exploring her thighs, working your way slowly to her folds, trailing all the way up her cunt, drinking her juices, letting her feel your breath before she feels your touch...it'll be worth it. for both of you.

learn to read her body with all of your senses. she might be vocal but she might prefer to bite her lip or enjoy being gagged. you don't need to hear her words to know what to do. you'll feel her muscles twitch and relax - learn what it means when she lifts her hips, squirms or sinks into you. she might taste and smell differently when she is close to coming for you. pay close attention to her clit - if you're lucky and you've done a particularly good job, you might see it twitch as she recovers from the perfect orgasm. enjoy it.

you can be vocal though. moan into her. use every sensation you can. light flicks to determined, long, slow licks. blow gently on her wetness. how does she react to your lip piercing? your teeth?

build and add to the experience until she's completely overwhelmed. play with her nipples. run your nails over her skin. lift her legs and spank her.

chances are, she'll get to the point where she really needs you to fuck her. slip your tongue all the way down and inside her. if you can't breathe, you're doing it right. that means you probably won't be able to keep it up for hours, so save this move for when she's right on the edge and you're ready to let her tip over.

if you're especially lucky and she's a squirter, you will get absolutely soaked. enjoy it. show her you're enjoying it. moan into her cunt; she'll come even harder.

if she needs to be fucked harder, slip your fingers inside her cunt and curl them up towards your tongue as it circles her clit. all of her most sensitive nerves will be between your tongue and your fingers. you'll be able to feel every tiny twitch inside her; it's the most beautiful place in the world to be.

when she can truly take no more, stay close to her as you drift away from her cunt. kiss your way up her tummy and her chest, let her taste herself on your lips as you hold her and let her ride out the aftershocks. trail your fingertips over her back. whisper in her ear. tell her everything you loved about eating her out.

smart well dressed pretty boys who become all undone while getting fucked babbling nonsense about how good they feel

👆

I guard my collection like a pit full of snakes.