I Dont Care What Anyone Says, Jeremy Sumpter Is My Neil Josten 😌

The thing about writing is we’re taught to write in a very specific way as children that is deemed as the “correct” way. And it’s so important to have those fundamentals — to know how sentences are constructed and what is proper paragraph structure and to become familiar with grammar. Those are essential building blocks.

But because schools have to focus on essay writing and technicalities and whatever is needed for the latest standardized test, it’s often the only way we learn how to write when there’s so many ways to write. There’s technical writing, journalistic writing but also editorial writing, copywriting, letter writing, free writing … to infinity and beyond.

We often don’t explore creative writing in an academic setting until later in life when we seek it out (or never at all in most cases). And while there’s guides for these looser types of writing, as well, it’s important to know you can just say FUCK ALL and bastardize the rules that were beat into your brain by red pens all your life.

Make up words. A paragraph can be one sentence, one word, or a whole damn monologue. Run-on sentences can be a style choice. Make a chapter one line. Use capitalization however you see fit. Start sentences with conjunctions. Be abstract in imagery. Forget commas exist and keep using ‘and’ instead (<- my favorite). Fragments can be fire. Create your own voice in the remnants of a burned language.

Learning the rules also means knowing how and when to break them. So break them to tell your story the way you want.

I was rereading SBG and in chapter 39, Aiden says "you seem like the type of person to only get close to those who are special to you, and I dont know how to go about that" (paraphrased)

This man is literally telling her, TO HER FACE that he wants to be someone special to her. He is so clueless when it comes to emotional interactions and just relationships in general. He doesnt know what it is to truly have a friend, and he seems scared of messing it up. He blames himself for her getting hurt and he admits he was the problem and apologizes. He basically tells her 'I care about you and I want us to be close but I have no idea what Im doing, help me to be someone to you, help me learn how to be someone for you'

AHHHH Im probably reading too much into this but as someone who didnt have friends until I was like 14, I know how easy it is to desperately cling to someone and hope with everything in your heart that they care as much as you do. He definitely seems to be doing that here and it makes my heart hurt 😭

Ok I just made myself so sad. I'm sitting here listening to The Devil Wears Prada : Louder Than Thunder and I imagined Aiden laying in bed screaming this song into an empty house.

"Are we meant to be empty handed, I know I could, I could be better, I dont think I deserve it"

This kid probably so desperately wanted a house full of a family being obnoxious and annoying over all the things he dealt with in his head.

If he truly was s**cidal than I feel like he would have had a lot of those moments (I remember laying in bed crying to this song, maybe I'm just reflecting😅)

thinking about how Jeremy knows that Jean is afraid of water but not necessarily that he was waterboarded at evermore.

thinking about how Jean knows that Jeremy got clean off coke but not necessarily that he spent 5 weeks in rehab.

thinking about how Jeremy takes the stairs with Jean because Jean is claustrophobic but he doesn’t know Jean was locked in a box.

thinking about how Jean lets Jeremy nap instead of practicing because he’s tired but doesn’t know he’s fallen asleep driving.

thinking about how Jeremy knows Jean had feelings for Kevin but not how deep the pain of Kevin’s betrayal truly goes.

thinking about how Jean has no idea that Jeremy was left high and dry by the first man that was more than just a hookup to him.

thinking about how Jeremy doesn’t know Jean cried so hard he almost vomited after Grayson’s attacks back in the Nest.

thinking about how Jean doesn’t know that Bryson has threatened to plant drugs if Jeremy doesn’t fail the LSAT.

thinking about how Jeremy doesn’t know that Jean has had his life sworn away to a man who can and will use him as an income.

thinking about how Jean doesn’t know that Jeremy’s entire life and future are locked away somewhere that Jeremy doesn’t even know.

thinking about how Jeremy doesn’t know that Jean wouldn’t have lived in any other life.

thinking about how Jean doesn’t know that Jeremy would’ve been waiting forever for him.

just thinking about them and what they don’t know about each other.

also on a lighter note:

thinking about how Jeremy doesn’t know that Jean crushed hard on his photos.

thinking about how Jean doesn’t know that he is undeniably Jeremy’s exact type.

thinking about how Jeremy doesn’t know that Jean’s favorite color is brown because of his eyes.

thinking about how Jean doesn’t know that Jeremy saw gold peonies reflected in his eyes during the fireworks.

Half-time just ended. Everyone is retaking their positions on the court, Neil and Andrew lock eyes for a moment, just blankly staring at each other. Neil cracks a small smile, then winks at him before turning away. Andrew is immediately flustered, which means he's pissed. Hot red ears and furrowed eyebrows, he almost misses the sound of the buzzer, but he can't let anyone know that he is currently weak in the knees and deciding if he wants to punch him or kiss him. He watches Neil get body slammed before the ball comes hurling to the goal, Andrew snapping to its targeted location catching the ball. Instead of rebounding or passing, he launches it, letting out his bottled frustration and embarrassment. The buzzer sounds and the goal lights up red, leaving Andrew slightly suprized, he didn't even aim. Leaning on his racket, he takes a deep breath, fully calming himself and deciding he will kiss him when this is over. Neil gets off the ground with a smug expression, causing Andrew to ignore him, the game starting again.

IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS. Cat and Jean making dinner and Jean keeps getting annoyed that its in his face so Cat just kinda walks up to him and puts it up, so its kinda messy and the waves are all overlapping in that way they do when its unbrushed. Jean just giving a brief thank you before he continues cutting/seasoning food. Meanwhile Jeremy is just watching like 😳

Jean who’s still upset about his hair being ripped out in the nest, and lets his hair grow out super long just because he can.

Jeremy, who sees jean with his hair in a manbun for the first time and LOSES. HIS. SHIT.

There are too mamy itches in my brain. Andreil. Its a peaceful Saturday morning and they're sleeping in, sun just barely filtering through the window as they cuddle together. Neil's pressed against Andrews side and Andrew has an arm around him laying on his back. The phone rings waking them both and Andrew goes to turn it off but its a call from Aaron, a FaceTime. So he answers, groggy and half asleep. He wakes up more after noticing that Aarons been crying.

"You're still in bed" chuckles from the other end of the phone

"Its the weekend, you're crying?" Andrew cuts the small talk and Neil peaks open an eye out of curiosity.

"We have some news" Katelyn wiggles her way onto the screen standing behind Aaron. "We're pregnant" she give a small happy dance. Andrew stares blankly for a moment.

"Youre going to be an uncle." Aaron says, clearly a bit nervous but mostly proud.

"How long?" Is the only response he can think of.

"I'm currently eight weeks, so give or take another 32 weeks, but theres more."

"More?" Andrew sits up a bit dragging Neil with him.

"Twins" Aaron finishes. Neil muffles a laugh into Andrew's shoulder.

"Good luck with that. If they are anything like you, your hands will be full."

"Shut up" Andrew and Aaron say in sync. Neil just laughs again with a shrug.

"You're not saying much." Aaron presses, fiddling with a pen.

"He's excited" Neil says, looking up at him. Andrew scoff and pushes his face away "he's got that look in his eyes, he happy" Andrew shoves Neil off of him.

"If you ever need anything," Andrew mumbles grumpily to which Aaron nods.

"We will be posting updates on our socials, but we wanted you to know first" katelyn says before disappearing off screen.

"Yeah okay." They talk a bit more before hanging up. Andrew stares at the black screen, processing everything.

"Whats on your mind?" Neil whispers crawling back over to him.

"I'm going to be an uncle. He wants me to be apart of it. Of their lives."

"Of course he does, you're his brother."

"A year ago, I would have never gotten that phone call." He drops the phone on his chest, letting it lay face down. Neil lets him be lost in thought for a moment, then reaches out and brushes the hair from his face.

"You two fixed your relationship. Of course he wants you to know his kids."

"Have you ever thought about it?" Andrew picks at his nails, not looking at Neil.

"About what? Drew, what are you asking?"

"Kids. Have you thought about it?"

"I think I'd make a terrible father. I didn't think you were the type to want kids"

"We dont have to be parents. We could foster. Its just an idea, i dont know." Andrew sits up, tossing his legs over the bed. "I don't even think kids would like me." Neil sits up too, watching Andrew's back.

"Do you want to foster children?" Andrew just shrugs at the question, not facing him.

"We could, it would be one more good house in all of the bad ones. Kids might not like us but theyd have their own room. A warm bed and a safe place to be." His words are quiet, contemplating. "Its just a thought."

"We can always look into it. I wouldn't mind."

"An uncle. He wants me to be an uncle." Andrews thoughts go full circle and Neil cant help but smile. Their future seems bright, and possibly filled with young laughter and toys. Neil inches his way to him and whispers "yes or no" a mumbled yes and Neil trails little kisses down Andrews neck, hugging his back to him.

"This also technically makes me an uncle, think Aarons upset about that yet?" Andrew rolls his eyes at him, earning another laugh.

the fact that jean knew next to nothing about bryson but took one look at jeremy’s face and decided something had to be done about him is wild. the fact that he stood up calmly and yet waited for jeremy to react again, heard the panic in his voice, and acted, is telling.

“it is my place to assess and handle threats against you” is like the absolute best way of saying “I’ll protect you” that I’ve ever read.

and I know we all lost our minds over this scene because of what jean goes and does and APPROPRIATELY SO, but like…

I almost never see anyone talk about the fact that this is the first time jean has a protective instinct towards jeremy. and instead of something like “I’ll go talk to him” or “I’ll make him leave” . . . . .

nora really had jean pretty much go “cat, hold my monopoly money. I don’t want to get blood on it.” and then he went and THREW A MOTHERFUCKER OFF THE PORCH. and then held him against the windshield because bryson was too stupid to stay put. choked him.

again we all lost our ever-loving minds and squealed and screamed because HOW COULD YOU NOT? but nora set a wild standard for people everywhere because this was jean’s first time protecting jeremy and look at how extremely he reacted. raven or not, damn.

guys. peeps. that next book is gonna be gold.

I have so many random ideas of Andreil being found out by the media in the strangest ways. My personal fav so far is them going pro and being on different teams. They end up playing against each other and everyone starts to think their rivals because Andrew keeps launching the ball at Neils helmet. After like 7 headshots from across the court Neil swears at him in german something along the lines of "I know you're doing that on purpose quit being a bitch for the sake of your entertainment or I swear I will empty your candy drawer" and of course Andrew's just there with his blank expression leaning on his racket, knowing Neil will forget all about it when they're home. However, all the fans see is Andrew targeting Neil over and over no matter where he is on the court so everyone thinks they hate each other until some weeks later an article is released with pictures of them grocery shopping together. Andrew is in the cart eating candy he hasn't even bought yet while Neil scans the aisle with a hand in Andrews hair. Another picture of them loading everything into the car, Andrew with a hand on Neils waist as he opens the backdoor. The article is titled something like "rivals or lovers : a deep dive into their history" and it brings up points like Andrew protecting Neil from Riko and Neil getting Andrew to shut down the goal with just a few words (ones no one knows), but also points of them shoving each other and getting in each others faces (tbh they were just flirting but from an outside prospective it was violence because they are never normal) all of the fan theories come to a head when Neil gets interviewed.

"What is your thoughts on the rumors about you and Minyard?"

"Rumors?"

"Yes, the ones about you two being teammates turned rivals turned lovers. Many fans are speculating what your relationship is and several articles have become very popular over it."

"We were never rivals??" Neil is absolutely lost at this idea, complete confusion.

"Really? Never once over the years?"

"No? And what articles? I don't understand how this has anything to do with Exy."

"Its about your career in the sense that Andrew Minyard has been a challenge for you." Neil smiles at the idea of Andrew being a challenge. "There was a really big article that shared some photos of you two together at a grocery store. It's rather unusal to see you two in a domestic setting, can you tell us about that? Many are wondering why you shop together." The first photo is pulled up on the big screen and Neil just stares for a moment, unsure of when it was taken.

"1. Its creepy that that was taken without us knowing. 2. I don't know what you want me to tell you, Andrew's not allowed out of the cart because he's a mence to shop with or maybe he refuses to let me go alone because I constantly forget things. Its just normal every day life, same as everyone else. 3. Because we live together?? I still don't see the relevance any this has to Exy. Many spouses go against each others teams, it's a part of being pro's."

"Spouses? So you are confirming you and Minyard are married?"

"Not on paper. Fundamentally yes. I thought this interview was supposed to be about how our season is going?" Neil sits back, baffled but also slightly smug from the look of shock on the interviewers face.

Meanwhile Andrew is at home with the cats eating a tub of ice cream while watching the interview thinking to himself 'yeah, fucking tell her. Noisy ass drama seeker.'

They are so precious to me 🥲

I was thinking about how Jean has probably never heard the words "i love you" said to him before, or at least maybe not in a very long time (the only person i could think of who would have said it is Elodie)

So then I started thinking what if Jean has such a visceral reaction to hearing it from Jeremy for the first time that it actually makes him cry. Even more so because when Jeremy does say it, it kind of just slips out soft and gentle and so casually.

So like one day what if they're just sitting on Jean's bed making out very soft and sweetly. Jeremy smiles against Jean's lips and the words are out before he can really think about it. It's more like a breathy sigh, an exhalation of a confession that Jeremy doesn't even hesitate to reveal. But Jean freezes regardless. Jeremy pulls back instantly to find Jean staring at him a little lost, wild look in his eyes.

So very quietly, Jean asks, "What did you just say?"

Jeremy smiles lazily at him, more than happy to repeat the sentiment. "I said, I love you."

Jean swallows hard and clenches his eyes shut, holding tight to Jeremy's shirt he thinks 'This is a dream. I'll wake up. It'll just be another day and this is just another unrealistic impossible dream'. But when he opens his eyes Jeremy is still there in front of him, except now his mouth is turned down and there's a pinch between his brows.

"Jean? Something wrong?" he asks.

Jean shakes his head, his breath stuttering as he asks, again, "What did you say?" This time it sounds little more strangled and it feels like his throat is slowly closing up. Jeremy's so close and Jean is suddenly so hyper aware of every part of him - his warm tanned skin, his freckles, his soft t-shirt and shorts, his bare feet and ankles crossed in front of him, his messy hair, the shell necklace around his throat.

Jeremy's confused now as he repeats his words, "I asked if something is wrong."

Jean's grey eyes search his brown ones, frantically, desperately. "N-no. Before that," he chokes out.

"That I love you?" Jeremy says again. And Jean thinks, there's no air left. There's no air left in his lungs. How is he saying those words? Like that? Like it's easy.

It takes Jeremy a second to connect the dots between Jean's questioning and his now obvious slow decline into distress. But something shifts in his eyes and he says it again. "I love you, Jean."

Jean's breath hitches in his throat and his heart is now pounding mercilessly under his chest. There's something growing inside him. Something familiar and scary, that usually he'd grab hold of and rip out like a tenacious stubborn weed, so it can't grow back.

But it does.

And this thing inside him, this particular thing, he suspects has been burrowing itself down, digging roots deep into him for a while. So much so that he's not sure he can ever pull it out now. Or that he'll need to.

Then something wet drips down his chin, and it's only when Jeremy reaches up with hesitating fingers to swipe across his cheek that he realises he's crying. His eyes slip closed and he feels Jeremy move closer as he tries and fails to wipe Jean's unrelenting tears that keep spilling down his cheeks. It's as bad as when Cat makes him cut up onions. It just won't stop.

"Hey, hey what's wrong? Should I not have said it? I'm sorry. It just slipped out I won't say it again if-"

This thing growing inside him, whatever it is, bends towards Jeremy's voice like a flower in the sun.

"No," Jean chokes out, cutting Jeremy off. "Say it again. Please." The last word whispered, the sound torn desperately from his lips like a prayer.

Jeremy's quiet before he leans forward and presses his forehead to Jean's. His breath hitting Jean's cheek, he says "I love you." He kisses Jean's forehead. "I love you." Then his cheeks "I love you. I love you." His nose. "I love you." His temples. "I love you." He pauses at Jean's mouth and Jean tilts his own chin up so their lips are just brushing. His breath is still shaky, but each declaration from Jeremy is like a mouthful of air.

Jeremy says so quietly, only for the two of them to hear, "I love you, Jean Moreau." Then Jean is pressing their lips together, with a renewed burst of something. He kisses Jeremy fierce and deep and when he pulls away he whispers it against his mouth too. Finding himself unsurprised by how steadily the words leave his own lips.

That thing inside him, it seems to sag in relief. He's felt those three words for a while. A long while, but now he's secure in the knowledge that it's safe to say them back. "I love you too," he tells Jeremy. It's the first time Jean has heard it from anyone in a long long time, but he already knows he'll never tire from hearing it. It's also the first time he can remember saying it out loud too. And he finds he likes the way it sounds falling from his mouth.

(it's not long before he starts saying it in French. And when he does, he doesn't go back)