Yes, This Is The One Universe That Jean Lives In.

Gonna throw up If I can't talk about them-

Bunch of Aiden analysis under the cut because he's just SO OBSESSED CODED AND NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT 😭 (I will be very weird about it)

The way it's so doomed from the start. He's already so fascinated by her. It's in the little jump he does when she sits in front of him, like a secret they're both in on, like her sitting in front of him is some obscure way of her inviting him into a conversation.

Why is he like this (not positive but not negative either)

He has such a cocktail of personality traits and, most certainly, mental disorders, and his own history that makes it so, when he's in love, that it WILL blow up in his face.

The fact that he's been homeschooled for his entire life- he has no idea. HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW. He doesnt realize that its not normal. of course he doesn't :( His parents obviously leave him alone for long stretches of time and he doesn't seem to mind this. He hasn't had the chance to develop his social skills at all-

It's why he's so, let's be real, creepy. Ash makes it very clear she's not interested and he just keeps worming his way into her life. He plots so that she'll go on the field trip, he follows her around, he goes to her fucking house on the first day. LIKE, HELLO? RED FLAG?

He's having evil thoughts here I swear 💀

And already so quickly after meeting her he makes Ash his priority. He asks to sit next to her, he engages and makes an effort to talk to her. Tries to joke around with her. Gives her a nickname. Touches her. He's so touchy.

And defends her!!! When Tyler gets pissed at Ash, he honestly goes off on him even tho he KNOWS Ash can defend herself- and he's so...dark about it. There's a threat hidden behind his words. He's MAD here, right? Tell me I'm not crazy, please-

He also very clearly has violence on the forefront of his mind 💀 He's the first one to actively attack the phantoms; not to defend himself, not to defend somebody else (well, he pulls Ash out of the way), but for fun. And he's disappointed when they don't scream. He's sadistic, he likes causing pain, it's something he relishes in.

I mean look at how he smiles!!! None of the other kids have such an...active ENJOYMENT in fighting the phantoms, but for Aiden, it's almost like he finds relief in it, some way to vent out his frustrations. He's eager for a fight, for a thrill.

That's how Aiden sustains himself, he pretty much operates under "I'm here for a good time, not a long time." Everything he does gives him a boost of adrenaline, no matter the consequences. He got into a fight? Eh, who cares about all the bruises, at least it got his blood rushing. Broke a bone while doing parkour or smth? Whatever, the way his stomach dropped when he was falling as totally worth it.

It's a very dangerous mentality to live with, obviously. He's an adrenaline junkie. He's an addict. More than anything else, Aiden wants something that makes him feel alive.

And what makes you feel more alive than love?

Like not to minimise or anything but he's known her for like. 2-3 months- and he's already SO scared of losing her. Like I just don't think he would have had this type of reaction with anybody else besides Ben. He would have absolutely lost his shit if Ash 'died'.

He's a straight up love junkie. He's obsessive. Nothing beats the high love can give you. It overrules everything else. If Ash (or whoever he's interested in) feels bad because of smth, he's done with it.

He LIKED dying. He LIKED the adrenaline rush. But he won't do it again. Not because he had some realization that he didn't want to die, that he still wanted to live and do things, but because Ash was upset. Because this, this rush of care from her part, the way she was so scared of him dying that she was shaking, nothing could fill the hole in his heart better than that. And now that he has a taste for it, he won't let go easy. He will keep on living- if it means Ash will be by his side.

Which is a very dangerous position to put her in. Ash already feels responsible for her friends, and she doesn't even know that Aiden has "put" his life in her hands, not that it's her responsibility, because it isn't, but she will certainly feel responsible if Aiden does something FOR her.

Like He's so fucking obsessed and he doesn't even realize it- like look at how he sees her 😭 THE HEAVENLY GLOOOOOOW, LIKE SHES AN ANGEL AND HE THINKS SHE CAN SAVE HIM. BABY SHE CANT, YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF.

He could spiral so fucking bad. He could do some absolutely heinous things. Because he just doesn't know. He doesn't know how to love truly, yet. For him love really is that rush of adrenaline, the knife carving out his heart, he could be putty in her hands, or her executioner. This love that can be so obsessive, that he NEEDS it to function, like its water, like its the air he breathes. Its a compulsion, a fixation, a longing that burrows into your very soul. Ash doesn't even know what she's getting herself into-

Godddddd, it makes me so sick/ pos, it's SO FUCKING INTERESTINGGGGGG. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

I literally cannot function around this drawing 🫠

The. The hand. That way he's grabbing her. He's pulling her back. Towards HIM. like "this is mine. And I'm not sharing." And that little fucking look in his eyes, he just looks SO fucking pleased with himself. And Ash looks so...resigned. they're so doomed-coded, i love them so bad.

I don't know how I was supposed to NOT make a killer au, when he's just...like that around her.

Love is a wonderful thing. But love is also cruel, it is vicious, it is possessive and obsessive, and it will leave carnage in its wake.

Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You cannot stop thinking about another human being. -Helen Fisher

I need Jeremy knox to have a wild side. I have this image in my brain that he has a switch that flips every once in a while. A very rare one, one he tries to out grow and put behind him, but on really good days when he wants to be high on life, he lets it go. Im talking drifting down back roads, doing donuts in parking lots, throwing fireworks into the bonfires, high school redneck level wild side. I want to watch this man chug a beer and flirt a man into submission without even trying. I want to see Jean be amused, moritfied and jealous that Jeremy can be so in love with life to the point of being risky. I need Cat and Laila to have a "oh shit, here we go" moment right before it happens because my god he has that smile, that stupid glint he gets in his eyes before he dives in. I adore his gentle side and how he wants to help everyone and be a good team captain, but I want the nights where he sets that aside and needs to be reigned in before he hurts himself.

throws up

Take this man to get a tattoo. Take 👏 this👏 man 👏 to 👏 get 👏 a 👏 tattoo!! GAH theres nothing else that can make him reach peak hotness (big messy manbun 👀) like a tattoo can.

No but really, I can see him getting like blackberry flowers or maybe seashells in remembrance of Elodie. Something simple and sweet, very little coloring thats well shaded on his forearm or his bicep. Maybe even putting her name in fancy cursive (if he can bring himself to be so sentimental, I know he struggles to say/hear her name)

As much as I would really like to see him reunited with her (remains)

[ talked about here https://www.tumblr.com/smittenmeraki/778038352449601536/no-because-i-keep-thinking-of-neil-having-his?source=share ],

I dont think that will happen and this is a beautiful way for him to pay tribute and put her to rest.

at some point after tgr, the trojans sit cat down intervention-style

‘cat you CANNOT keep making jean hotter. you taught him how to cook. you taught him how to drive a motorcycle and helped him get his own. you’re getting him to show his soft boy side in public. you helped convince him to be a dog dad cat we CAN’T HANDLE ANY MORE the whole team is obsessed with him and jeremy is DYING can you have some CONSIDERATION cat’

I know that everyone wants Jeremy to help Jean get over his fear of water. I know cannonically thats what is most likely to happen, however hear my out on my hc's that I think are reasonable.

TGR spoliers big time:

Ten steps back, it has been hinted at that Jeremy might crash his car. I believe that this is completely within reason and I can see it happening in the next book. 1. He has fallen asleep at the wheel more than once. 2. They worried about his constant lack of sleep and how much he has on his plate. 3. The apartment being even further than before 4. He is doing even more than previous years Ex: learning french, studing for LSAT (is that the correct abbreviation?? Law!) And 5. Teaching Jean how to be a whole human being on so many levels. Man's exhusted. So I can definitely see him crashing. Now the severity of this may very, if its late or raining or a million other things to make it worse. My brain is stuck on him flipping over a guard rail, but any type of crash can cause major injury which leads us to where this post is supposed to be. Jeremy crashing the car and everyone going to pick him up from the hospital. Maybe he even is unconscious when they get there and has all these machines, stuff Jean has never seen, he doesnt know what any of this does, he never got real medical help. So of course hes worried, his partner is breathing through a tube. A day or two later they bring him home (after heavy convincing, his mother lets him stay with the girls for the sake of making it to classes on time) Jeremy is benched for at least 5 weeks, concussion, sprains, pulled mucsles, etc. Day three of being out of the hospital and he feels disgusting. Painstakingly making his way to the bathroom to shower, Jean follows him, hovering his hands out in case he stumbles. Jeremy lets him help, leaning on Jean as he hobbles into the bathroom, but Jean doesnt leave when Jeremy turns on the water. A moment of awkward staring at each other, Jean asks if he needs help. Of course Jeremy is embarrassed, a little ashamed and wanting to do it alone out of spite, but Jean insists he could fall, benching himself longer, so he lets him help. Its awkward and neither know where to put their hands, Jeremy tries to wash himself at first, letting Jean keep him steady, but the sore muscles make it hard to clean his hair, so they switch. Jeremy holds at Jeans shoulders as Jean scrubs soap into his scalp. Jean stays as far out of the spray as he can, occasionally wiping the water off his face, but hes focused on helping his partner get better. It doesnt matter that hes scared because Jeremy is hurt and its miserable watching him struggle. Of course some of the fear is stomped out by the adoration and hunger he gets from the way Jeremy closes his eyes and contently hums at how Jean rinses out the soap. How can he be scared when Jeremy is using him as a crutch, tan freckled skin and blonde hair under his hands. The need to help his partner override the fear.

RAH I am so temped to actually write a fanfiction about this because it could be at least 4 chapters. ANYWAY, not sorry for more JereJean posts :D

thinking about how Jeremy knows that Jean is afraid of water but not necessarily that he was waterboarded at evermore.

thinking about how Jean knows that Jeremy got clean off coke but not necessarily that he spent 5 weeks in rehab.

thinking about how Jeremy takes the stairs with Jean because Jean is claustrophobic but he doesn’t know Jean was locked in a box.

thinking about how Jean lets Jeremy nap instead of practicing because he’s tired but doesn’t know he’s fallen asleep driving.

thinking about how Jeremy knows Jean had feelings for Kevin but not how deep the pain of Kevin’s betrayal truly goes.

thinking about how Jean has no idea that Jeremy was left high and dry by the first man that was more than just a hookup to him.

thinking about how Jeremy doesn’t know Jean cried so hard he almost vomited after Grayson’s attacks back in the Nest.

thinking about how Jean doesn’t know that Bryson has threatened to plant drugs if Jeremy doesn’t fail the LSAT.

thinking about how Jeremy doesn’t know that Jean has had his life sworn away to a man who can and will use him as an income.

thinking about how Jean doesn’t know that Jeremy’s entire life and future are locked away somewhere that Jeremy doesn’t even know.

thinking about how Jeremy doesn’t know that Jean wouldn’t have lived in any other life.

thinking about how Jean doesn’t know that Jeremy would’ve been waiting forever for him.

just thinking about them and what they don’t know about each other.

also on a lighter note:

thinking about how Jeremy doesn’t know that Jean crushed hard on his photos.

thinking about how Jean doesn’t know that he is undeniably Jeremy’s exact type.

thinking about how Jeremy doesn’t know that Jean’s favorite color is brown because of his eyes.

thinking about how Jean doesn’t know that Jeremy saw gold peonies reflected in his eyes during the fireworks.

Half-time just ended. Everyone is retaking their positions on the court, Neil and Andrew lock eyes for a moment, just blankly staring at each other. Neil cracks a small smile, then winks at him before turning away. Andrew is immediately flustered, which means he's pissed. Hot red ears and furrowed eyebrows, he almost misses the sound of the buzzer, but he can't let anyone know that he is currently weak in the knees and deciding if he wants to punch him or kiss him. He watches Neil get body slammed before the ball comes hurling to the goal, Andrew snapping to its targeted location catching the ball. Instead of rebounding or passing, he launches it, letting out his bottled frustration and embarrassment. The buzzer sounds and the goal lights up red, leaving Andrew slightly suprized, he didn't even aim. Leaning on his racket, he takes a deep breath, fully calming himself and deciding he will kiss him when this is over. Neil gets off the ground with a smug expression, causing Andrew to ignore him, the game starting again.

Don't think about Aaron Minyard

Don't think about Aaron Minyard at the Foxes and Ravens match

Don't think about how he had to watch his brother be attacked

Don't think about how he only had enough time to shout

Don't think about how he wasn't fast enough

Don't think about him seeing someone swing a racquet at Andrew

Don't think about how he knows damn well that a racquet swung with enough force can kill a man

Don't think about how he remembers the weight of that racquet in his hands as he swung

Don't think about how he fought for his brother

Don't think about Aaron Minyard

I feel like I am the only one worried about this

Sbg spoliers

I am very relieved that everyone is, for the most part, okay. However, I feel like they are getting set up for something bad to happen. Not only do they have a long journey ahead of them but Logan is their long distance defense. He has saved them a number of times and now he can't see. Ben is their strongest (in debate 😂) and has a sprained wrist. They are all beat up, covered in bruises. (I think it was Tyler who said his ribs hurt) I just feel like they are going to get into a situation where they can't protect themselves because their usualdefenses have been weakened. Maybe I am just paranoid but Im not fully relieved yet.

Jeremy is trying so desperately to claw his way out of the hole his family has thrown him in, all the while his lifeline was cut, there is nothing to hold onto.

And yet, when it comes to his friends trying to climb through their struggles, he gives them tips and footholds, explains how to hold your weight without losing your grip because maybe he cant climb any higher, but they still are tethered to the top, to a bright future beyond all of this, so he smiles and hides the frayed, broken bits that are left of his lifeline, hoping to watch them make it to the top, knowing he wont.

Jean spent years at the bottom, unmoving, not knowing how to climb out, not willing to try. He never had a lifeline to begin with and the steep walls were an impossible feat. But Neil threw him a lifeline and he unwilling tangled into it, eventually realizing he can get out he can be free. And of course he notices the bright sunshine child, the man that radiates in the dark and he will linger as long as it takes for him to make him understand that they can do it together. Jeremy can latch into Jeans lifeline and they can climb out together. With Jeremys experience and Jeans unending determination, they can carve a future into a world that was against them.

Idk where I was going with this but we ended up here 🙃

what if when jean finds out about jeremy’s mother withholding his documents, the first thing he does is go and confront jeremy about it? “why did I not know before? I am your partner! why didn’t you tell me?”

he’s overrun by a sense of betrayal and that feeling is very quickly met head-on with jeremy’s own guilt, but also every other intense feeling that comes with knowing that your future isn’t really yours to have.

and this is how they have their first real, heated argument. getting in each other’s faces, one to demand answers because seriously how could jeremy not tell him? and the other to finally let their heart bleed out with things like “what would it matter? what could you change, jean? I don’t have a choice—“

and this is how we get jeremy crying in front of jean for the first time. they’re both hot with emotion and jeremy’s face is flushed while his hands shake and he just starts sobbing. and jean is so taken aback that all he can do is go quiet and stare.

jeremy’s eyes look almost black through his tears and jean listens as jeremy breaks down, spouting out every awful thought that’s been plaguing him all these months. how he doesn’t have a choice about law school, about how he doesn’t have a choice— he has to stay at home where they don’t love him.

jeremy breaks so sharply that jean can almost hear the jagged pieces of his heart as jeremy crumbles in on himself, and he doesn’t even think before he’s back in jeremy’s space again.

this is how we get jean hugging jeremy for the first time. he pulls jeremy close until jeremy has no choice but to cry into his shirt, and jean holds onto jeremy tighter than he ever has anything else in his life. he lets him cry, his own thoughts and emotions a tornado.

how quickly jean’s heart goes from “how could he not tell me?” to “what can I do?”

because he can’t leave jeremy alone in that darkness now— not knowing how deep it goes. he can’t let go of this sunshine man who has pulled him out of his own hell again and again.

jean can’t. he won’t. so what can he do—?