Imagine Being Gaspen Payne.

Imagine being Gaspen Payne.

You've got a high-profile court case about a courtroom bombing. On top of that, it's a slam dunk - solid evidence and an expert witness.

And then - what's this? Opposing counsel is the guy who humiliated your older brother three different times? Perfect, even better. You'll whip his ass and then maybe Winston will speak to you again.

Only.. the case goes poorly. Not only that, it ends with the true culprit threatening to set off another bomb. You run out of the courtroom, which, under the circumstances, is a pretty smart thing to do. But while you're evacuating, that punk-ass defense attorney gets your expert witness found guilty.

Afterwards, your courtroom manner and potential corruption get you drummed out of the public prosecutors' office in the aftermath of the end of the dark age of the law. In your shame, you flee the country, probably leaving behind a note that says something like "prosecutor Gaspen Payne chooses death", or maybe "come and get me, loser! Spankety spankety spankety."

After some time wandering listlessly around Asia, finding your family roots in Japan, trying a topknot toupee and realizing it doesn't work on you, you find your way into a tiny mountainous country. Religious, spiritual. That's fine. You can fake that stuff as necessary.

Then you find out that they've de facto banned defense attorneys. And they have a position open for chief prosecutor, a position you'd given up all hope of getting anywhere near.

It's the cushiest job you've ever had. All you need to do is stand there in your stupid gold suit and sparkle while the princess does some seance bullshit. No effort on your part, but even so your name gets attached to the win.

Then - one day - a *treason* case. Perfect. It'll be easy. You have unimpeachable evidence and a spotless witness.

The judge is about to hand down the verdict, thereby etching your name into the history books as the one who brought a traitor against the crown to justice. You'll finally have it all - fame, reputation, a crown, heck, maybe *this* is what'll get your brother to talk to you again.

The courtroom doors open.

You hear a familiar "Objection!".

God damnit.

God fucking dammit.

No wonder Winston never beat this guy - he's the cockroach of attorneys. How the fuck is he even here?

And - what? *He doesn't even remember you???*

GOD

DAMMIT

More Posts from Snakesrneat and Others

3 months ago
You Don't Need Context Just Look At This Miles You Should Add Your Lovely Additions To The Collection
You Don't Need Context Just Look At This Miles You Should Add Your Lovely Additions To The Collection
You Don't Need Context Just Look At This Miles You Should Add Your Lovely Additions To The Collection
You Don't Need Context Just Look At This Miles You Should Add Your Lovely Additions To The Collection
You Don't Need Context Just Look At This Miles You Should Add Your Lovely Additions To The Collection

you don't need context just look at this miles you should add your lovely additions to the collection [ADDITIONS IN REBLOGS. GO CHECK IT OUT!]


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3 months ago

The Investigations 4 in Badger onesies because I can

The Investigations 4 In Badger Onesies Because I Can
The Investigations 4 In Badger Onesies Because I Can
The Investigations 4 In Badger Onesies Because I Can
The Investigations 4 In Badger Onesies Because I Can

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3 months ago

Thinking abt Ace Attorney Social media HCs

Phoenix: Technologically illiterate, doesn’t really know what social media is or how to use it and refuses to learn because the longer he keeps up the bit the funnier it gets

Edgeworth: Doesn’t particularly care for social media, but found out about tumblr through Maya and now has an anonymous Steel Samurai account. His tagging system is meticulous and he has all notifications turned off. He treats it like he does office work. He and Maya are mutuals. Doesn’t have a personal account to speak of

Maya: Runs a semi-popular canon url pink princess and steel samurai fan tumblr. Also has a personal Instagram that’s mostly her eating burgers

Pearl: Didn’t have social media for a long time because of Morgan, but Maya introduced her and she has a very inactive private Instagram. She’s also in charge of the Kurain Village socials, which are very neat and professional

Mia: Was technologically illiterate and died before the social media boom was completely inescapable so nada

Diego: Socials weren’t as big before he fell into a coma and afterwards he doesn’t care too much about his image so he has nothing. HOWEVER, Maya started a twitter called “dead philosopher wisdom” that’s just random Diegoisms. He’s doing NUMBERS on there but is unaware of it because he doesn’t use twitter

Franziska: Knows how social media works because she needs it for her job but doesn’t use it very often. Her account has like 2 posts on it and she mostly uses it to keep track of targets and online paper trails

Kay: Runs an instagram account called “Edgeworth where he shouldn’t be” that’s nothing but silly and embarrassing candids of Edgeworth. Oldbag won’t stop messaging her asking who she is and how she’s getting these pictures

Apollo: Has a twitter with two followers that he uses to retweet and comment on legal academia news. He’s super active on all the law forums and legal advice columns and unfortunately has definitely posted on r/AskALawyer on mutliple occasions. His real claim to fame, though, is the anonymous Instagram he runs for his cat Mikeko. It’s called “The Pawsecutor’s Office” and he dresses up Mikeko like all the prosecutors (Miles Edgepurrth, Clawvier Gavin, Franziska Von Catma, etc) for photoshoots and silly skits. It’s wildly popular and Apollo would die if he were revealed to be behind it

Klavier: Super popular across all platforms and loves being silly online. If Edgeworth saw all the thirst traps he was posting he would prolly have a heart attack

Kristoph: Has a very minimal personal account for professional reasons but his REAL online footprint is the dozens of alternate accounts he uses to cyberstalk people and send his brother hate mail

Athena: Perfectly normal social media user. Has personal accounts that she posts to occasionally with cute photos of what she’s doing. The only person using it correctly

Trucy: Insanely popular on socials for her magic act. Knows how to market herself online better than anyone. She has a smaller personal account where she occasionally posts silly things about the WAA

Blackquill: Ran an edgy anime Tumblr for years before his incarceration and was posting on AO3 a lot. He comes back after his release explaining the break between chapters of his latest fanfiction was due to him being put on death row for seven years and continues posting normally with no mention of his prison sentence ever again. When he finally posts another AMV it’s a joyous day indeed


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3 months ago
A three-panel comic of Apollo Justice, Clay Terran, Solomon Starbuck, and Yuri Cosmos from Ace Attorney. It is drawn and colored digitally. Starbuck and Clay are in their flight suits, while Apollo wears Clay’s GYAXA jacket across his shoulders over a hoodie and t-shirt. Panel 1: Light blue background. In the foreground, Clay carries Starbuck, both seen from behind. Further in front of them, in the background, Apollo waits with an excited smile and fists clenched. Cosmos stands near him, expression stern. Apollo is saying, brightly, “nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early” (first part of screenshot of twitter user Dustinkcouch). Panel 2: Medium blue background with a cartoonish red-and-white rocket, which has a ramp down and an open entrance. The perspective is flipped so that Apollo and Cosmos are seen from behind, while Clay and Starbuck face the viewer. Starbuck is revealed to be unconscious, slumped in Clay’s hold. Clay’s oxygen meter shows “0,” while Starbuck’s shows “69.” Clay has a grim expression as he says, “astronaut: moon’s haunted” (second part of screenshot). In smaller handwriting, he mutters to Cosmos, “here, trade you.” Cosmos is reaching his right arm out to receive Starbuck, while his left arm and Clay’s right arm are obscured from view. Apollo jolts with shock, saying, “nasa employee: what?” (third part of screenshot). Panel 3: The background is a gradient from bright blue, to the left side where Apollo stands, to dark navy, to the right side where Clay stands. In the foreground, Clay strides away from Apollo and Cosmos, eyes shadowed by his visor as he scowls with grim determination. He cocks a pistol with both hands as he says, “astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s haunted” (fourth and final part of screenshot). In the background, Apollo’s shoulders are slumped and his expression is bewildered, although his fists are still clenched in front of his body. He mumbles, “wha…” Cosmos, now with Starbuck (barely visibly) tucked under one arm, salutes Clay’s retreating back.

happy US moon landing day o7 moons haunted tweet has a special place in my heart


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3 months ago

MLM: KLAPOLLLOOOO, SaiMota, Ryunosuke x Kazuma, Sholmes x Mikotoba, and Edgeworth x Lang to name a few!

MLM: KLAPOLLLOOOO, SaiMota, Ryunosuke X Kazuma, Sholmes X Mikotoba, And Edgeworth X Lang To Name A Few!

I have not drawn Klapollo in a year holy shittt so here they are!!!


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3 months ago
These Attorneys Sure Are Ace Or Smth Idk
These Attorneys Sure Are Ace Or Smth Idk
These Attorneys Sure Are Ace Or Smth Idk

These attorneys sure are ace or smth idk


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3 months ago
VO: Hey, Simon!
Athena: Regardez-moi! What do you think?
Apollo: I think you should focus on moving boxes
Athena: It was my moms, rightt? Do you know what it's called?
Simon: That was her Oshima t
Jinxie: (pops up) Wow, That haori is made of oshima tsugumi silk from Kagosima Prefecture, they dye the threads in the iron rich mud and (text trails off)
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
Flashback!Aura: My brother would like the plushie knife-hawk.
Flashback!Simon: Roseate Spoonbill.
Aura: My brother would like the Cup Swallow.
Simon: Spoonbill!
Aura: My brother would like the Fork-Footed Boobie.
Simon: SPOONBILL!!
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
Aura: I get that you're sad about your toy, but seriously- where is your backpack?
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
Aura: See? Spoony's fine, he's tough- he even has badass scars now!
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
Aura: You really hate SPoony now just because he looks rough? That's not very nice.
Simon: It's just a stupid doll.
Aura: Well, HE still loves YOU.
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again
Present!Athena: Simon, Check it!
Athena: Thworp!
Fan: brraap
Athena: Whatcya got over there?
Simon: ...it's just a stupid doll.
After Many Years Of Being Strong // May You Have The Chance To Be Gentle Again

after many years of being strong // may you have the chance to be gentle again


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3 months ago
Currently In The Middle Of Playing Thru Dual Destinies And Then I Got To This Line And Immediately Dropped
Currently In The Middle Of Playing Thru Dual Destinies And Then I Got To This Line And Immediately Dropped

currently in the middle of playing thru dual destinies and then i got to this line and immediately dropped everything to doodle this really quickly


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3 months ago
Apollo 5 Minutes From Now, Hugging A Weeping Klavier: The Fuck Did You Say To Him

apollo 5 minutes from now, hugging a weeping klavier: the fuck did you say to him

[Image ID: A two-panel comic with white figures on a green gradient background. Ema Skye from Ace Attorney is speaking to Klavier Gavin. In the first panel, Ema is seen from the front and Klavier is seen from the back; in the second, Klavier is seen from the front and Ema is seen from the back. Ema is “speaking” a text post by tumblr user jame7t, which reads “your boyfriend is too small he fell into the bong and died,” then as an addition, “We smoked him. Sorry”. In the first panel Ema looks slightly disgruntled. In the second panel, Klavier looks distraught. Apollo stands in the background of the second panel, glancing over at Klavier and Ema, looking confused.]


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