Murderbot, When Interacting With Anything: Thinks In A String Of Biting Asides And Sardonic Observations

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

I'm convinced if I suddenly gained the ability to swim like this it would fix all my problems. Just imagine...staying in my own (swimming) lane, vibing with my emotional support watermelon and putting in minimal effort. Perfection.

per anon’s request, i present to you THE best version of beatrice’s monologue in much ado about nothing. i thought about cropping this but decided this scene must be watched in its full glory

the shame of making a connection irl and them being like omg can i have your insta??? snapchat????? and having to be like sorry i live in a gap between two tree roots youre just going to have to normal text me like some kind of animal

Quiet Quitting is when you're not doing anything wrong but the vibes are off

pirating movies by seeing them in tumblr gifs and basing my own story around them

I absolutely think adults, especially parents, ascribe manipulative intent to children when they shouldn't and it's absolutely a problem but it's always kind of funny to me when people go online and proclaim that children are incapable of manipulation. When I was three I asked my mom to get my older sibling their favorite candy bar at the grocery story because I knew she'd get me mine too as a reward for being thoughtful and that was way more likely to succeed than if I just asked for a candy bar for me. And it worked. Children scheme at a developmentally appropriate level the trick is not assuming children scheme at an adult level.

Absolutely my vibes. Man, I need to get back into making Little Guys ™ (gender neutral) because they really bring such joy to life ☺️

New friends just dropped

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