I’m So Tired. They’re So Sorry.

Autism thing #476

People often think your favorites are strange. Not because of your choice, but because you’ve given it enough thought to have one.

There is a very specific and painful uncomfortable infuriating frustrating dreadful sad feeling of desire, when you care so much about something, and you just want to tell someone about it.

To take a character and make someone else care about them they way you do

To show someone how fascinating a topic is

To demonstrate how intricate a story is, how intertwined the world is

To bundle up the bright, overflowing bundle of care/excitement/intrigue and share it so someone else can experience it too

…

But sometimes, perhaps often, there is no one to tell.

No one you haven’t bothered recently. No one who has a similar interest. No one who will be willing to read the outpour. No one who would care. No one you haven’t already handed a new interest.

And that desire to share, give, offer, show, and tell someone sours. It melts into a charred mass of dread in your stomach that seeps into the subject itself, if only a little.

Writing when ur on the drug called exhaustion is a Time because you will be trying to write a normal or serious line like "As he walked away" and your brain interrupts you for its state mandated ad break to insert "As he waddled away, waddle waddle, and he waddled away waddle waddle waddle~"

Anyone else playing totk just feel like gesturing irritatedly at the sky any time someone insists you go check out the fake Zelda sightings or go find Zelda?

Like I know exactly where she is she’s right there why do I need to waste time checking out these “sightings”

I’ve gotta go plop down on the light dragon and toss silent princesses into her hair and rant about the dumb citizens every time a character asks.

… if you go back in time does that negate your current age? Like if u are ten, go back a hundred years, are you ten, zero, or negative ninety?

Sometimes u gotta scruff the ppl in a self blame all-way-stop and be like

“Yes yes, you’re all a little stupid, but together you make one big singular stupid so it’s ok”

Yet another place where something is /odd/

Climbed up this bugger to look inside and didn’t die 10/10 would again.

Me: I am comfy with being called a girl since I have history with it and am used to being referred to she/her.

Also me: *internal gremlin cackling when smol child can’t figure out my gender*

Autistic experience or everyone experience?

I was only diagnosed as an adult, so I’ve been thinking back and wondering if specific sensory experiences are more of an everyone experience or autistic experience. Let me know if you have felt these and whether or not y’all have/are autistic.

-vitamin filled drinks of any sort burn your throat

-honey in tea does not soothe the throat it makes it dry

-volume of public toilets flushing is unbearable

-there is not a single type of comfortable clothing tag. They are all evil

-squishy/slimy with chunks is an abominable food texture, which makes anything from porridge to pie to stew very hard to manage

-tennis shoes have to be tied the exact same tightness

-leaning against warm store deli cases and cars pleases the inner lizard greatly

-stuffing urself in a very small space where you are hidden and gently squished is Very Good (unless ur claustrophobic, which I am not)

-have to climb. I am in a tree. Wedged in the top of a doorway. On the roof. Somewhere I haven’t been told not to go.. anyway my parents tossed me at rock climbing gyms

-fridge is good hum. Lights are bad hum.

I could list more but I shan’t rn

I’ve been haikued

More sketches of tristamp. I can’t find the rest of my markers :’D

I did not feel like doing the pattern on Nai’s… shirt. Skin. I am still unclear on what his top is. I am not unclear on what a manipulative jerk he is tho