Hey So Am I The Only One Who Thinks It’s Weird That My Middle School Gym Teachers Used To Play Pumped

Excuse me these are some very good rocks thank you

Imagine a faerie as a retail employee - like -

"Hello would you like to join our rewards program?"

"Uuuh... sure!"

"Alright, can I have your name and number? :)"

My dudes. My pals. My homeslice bread slices.

Never have I experienced more gender stereotyping than in cake decorating. Please. Friends.

Interests, colors; these things have no gender.

As someone who grew up fem and whose favorite color has ALWAYS been blue/turquoise.

No.

*smack smack smack*

I smack you with newspaper.

“It’s for a boy/girl” is Not an aPpRopriaTE response to my questions abt the specifics on your cake

Autistic experience or everyone experience?

I was only diagnosed as an adult, so I’ve been thinking back and wondering if specific sensory experiences are more of an everyone experience or autistic experience. Let me know if you have felt these and whether or not y’all have/are autistic.

-vitamin filled drinks of any sort burn your throat

-honey in tea does not soothe the throat it makes it dry

-volume of public toilets flushing is unbearable

-there is not a single type of comfortable clothing tag. They are all evil

-squishy/slimy with chunks is an abominable food texture, which makes anything from porridge to pie to stew very hard to manage

-tennis shoes have to be tied the exact same tightness

-leaning against warm store deli cases and cars pleases the inner lizard greatly

-stuffing urself in a very small space where you are hidden and gently squished is Very Good (unless ur claustrophobic, which I am not)

-have to climb. I am in a tree. Wedged in the top of a doorway. On the roof. Somewhere I haven’t been told not to go.. anyway my parents tossed me at rock climbing gyms

-fridge is good hum. Lights are bad hum.

I could list more but I shan’t rn

Random stuff ppl moving to WA might wanna know (that I don’t hear ppl talk abt):

-if u live near a small river u will occasionally experience routine log-removal traffic

-Seattle gets visited by a pirate ship each year

-woods that are not connected to a park have a 70% chance of being overran by brambles

-the main natural disaster in western wa is trees. I am only kinda joking.

- school may close due to bear.

-most of our stuff isn’t built for extreme temps. Ice storms and heatwaves above like 105 tend to cause structural and travel issues.

-roadkill is kinda just an ever present background noise

-Umbrellas are used… but only for full-on storms. They’re kinda just a hassle when u only use them from the car to the building. So unless it’s gonna soak you in 30 seconds…

-people often either quite like or straight up hate Seattle

-Lots of trails, few sidewalks

-Historical references that ppl outside of WA might not know of: Oso, the Grand Coulee Dam, The Equator shipwreck, Marysville Pilchuck High School, the Denny regrade houses

Pro tip:

If you like smiling, do not get a scab on ur chinny chin chin

Do you ever feel like maybe thriving is impossible?

I refuse to find this cringey because it’s the kind of thing that helped when I felt like taking the big sleep.

I forgot to watermark this so nobody best be taking advantage (≖_≖ )

Enormous things that could potentially move/fall are bad I just thought everyone should know

It’s a beautiful day, and you are a horrible goose loose in the library