Spooperdooper1 - Kya!

I have an important story

I was walking out of the gym on campus and over to my bike to unlock it, and looked up just in time to see a goose attack a woman as she walked past. I’m talking grabbing at her jacket, flapping its wings, biting and honking. I’m no stranger to our aggressive campus geese but hot diggity damn. Then. Then the goose turned and looked at me and let out a horrifying honk and suddenly, it was like bullet time, suddenly this massive goose was flying towards me.

So I squared up.

I tried to protect my expensive headphones.

And I braced for Goose.

When that thing flew at me I kicked higher and harder than I ever have and landed a solid blow to its huge, boat like body. It was so much harder and heavier than I expected. No one expects to kick a goose. It let out this awful squeaky toy noise, tried to grab at my hat, and then flew up and landed on the roof of the gym, watching me. I couldn’t turn my back for fear it would attack.

The worst part? There was no one around. No one saw me kick this deranged goose.

For five minutes I stood there, terrified of this goose.

And then people started walking out of the gym.

“I saw you kick that goose.”

“Man, that was a mean goose.”

“Nice kick on the goose.”

Eventually it took off and I was able to resume my day but not after solidifying my identity as The One Who Kicked The Goose.

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spooperdooper1

7 years ago

Every Other Day I Must Drag My Body Past These Horrifying Fruit Effigies The Next Door Produce Shop Has

every other day i must drag my body past these horrifying fruit effigies the next door produce shop has put up in an effort to deter the harvest god from taking back the seasons fruit. again and again i must look into their wild eyes, see their many gnashing teeth and shudder - the apples inside remains fresh and crisp, but at what cost

98K notes View Post

spooperdooper1

7 years ago