Staifflmaoo - Sin Título

Steve, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Thor: Yeah, sure.

[A few minutes later]

Thor: Here you go.

Steve:

Thor:

Tony: Why am I here?

reading asoiaf with my bestie we laughed too hard at this joke

"harvey specter is so cool" wrong. he's actually a loser. he cries and has panic attacks at the idea of people leaving him and he has mommy issues and abandonment issues and claims he doesn't care (and winds up caring a lot). his boytoy associate gets a girlfriend and he actively glares at her like he's twelve years old or something. he won't give up on his crooked, corrupted mentor because he was my mentor he was my mentor he was my mentor. he has all these basketballs and baseballs in his office and he also boxes. he boxes. (kinda gay to box. why do u want to get in the ring with a sweaty man, harvey.) he wears a fucking vest. he wears a fucking vest. he uses fucking hair gel. hair gel. hair gel. he rent his ex's friend's mike's old apartment in the hopes that he'll finally come back. he looks like he's about to cry whenever someone mentions that mike might not be around. like come on. his middle name is fucking REGINALD

THERES NO FUCKING WAY

I’m just gonna leave this here.

(I watched Spider-Man: Homecoming last night.)

wyatt russell it seems ive grown quite fond of you though there are no sexual urges or desires you come to me as a long lost friend whom i once picked apples with in papas orchard

Bringing back something I wrote seven years ago back on Reddit:

Jon Snow and Baby Switcheroo

I have an appreciation for Jon's ability to manipulate and scheme. From his first scene in AGOT he showed a gift at manoeuvring a situation into his favor, but the baby switch cements this ability the best I think.

First, its important to note that Jon doesn't rush into his lie and swap out of nowhere, he lays the groundwork and plans meticulously.

“Sire, some claim that you mean to grant lands and castles to Rattleshirt and the Magnar of Thenn.”

“Who told you that?”

*The talk was all over Castle Black*. “If you must know, I had the tale from Gilly.” - Jon I ADWD

He says something of which he'd heard rumors of, but he assigns the blame to Gilly so as to alienate Stannis further from her. By doing this, he deliberately leads Stannis into the conversation where he can mention sending Gilly off without drawing any attention or reprimand from the king who practically controls Wildling lives on the Wall.

“The wet nurse,” said Lady Melisandre. “Your Grace gave her freedom of the castle.”

“Not for running tales. She’s wanted for her teats, not for her tongue. I’ll have more milk from her, and fewer messages.”

“Castle Black needs no useless mouths,” Jon agreed. “I am sending Gilly south on the next ship out of Eastwatch.”

Jon is very good at reading people, and he uses that to his advantage by associating Gilly more and more with the things he knows Stannis dislikes and he does it covertly.

The king was confused. “I thought the wet nurse was this man Craster’s daughter?”

“Wife and daughter both, Your Grace. Craster married all his daughters. Gilly’s boy was the fruit of their union.”

“Her own father got this child on her?” Stannis sounded shocked. “We are well rid of her, then. I will not suffer such abominations here. This is not King’s Landing.”

He plays on Stannis' prejudice to achieve his goal.

Finally-

Melisandre : “Gilly is giving suck to Dalla’s son as well as her own. It seems cruel of you to part our little prince from his milk brother, my lord.”

Careful now, careful. “Mother’s milk is all they share. Gilly’s son is larger and more robust. He kicks the prince and pinches him, and shoves him from the breast. Craster was his father, a cruel man and greedy, and blood tells.” - Jon I ADWD

The above is what he says but in the next chapter this is what he thinks:

Gilly’s boy was older, Dalla’s more robust, but they were close enough in age and size so that no one who did not know them well would be able to easily tell one from the other. - JON II ADWD

He will die at sea, he thought, despairing. He is too old to survive such a voyage. Gilly's little son may die as well, he's not as large and strong as Dalla's boy. Does Jon mean to kill us all? - SAM I AFFC

Jon even swaps the physiques of the babies when describing them to Stannis in order to confuse him further and eliminate a chance of them being identified correctly. He further uses that incorrect physique to push the rhetoric of Gilly's babe being an "abomination" covertly to Stannis. Jon hammers out the details of the lie meticulously, not leaving any scope for failure by being vague. He goes all the way.

I think its an aspect of Jon's character people don't notice or credit much because it isn't at the forefront the way it is for Tyrion, but he too is capable of playing the game. I don't understand when people dismiss Jon's abilities in manipulation or write him off. He's often navigated such situations masterfully and shows himself great at reading people and what moves them from the very first book.

the first time peter messes up badly enough that tony drops the full name ("peter benjamin parker!"), peter just freezes. he bluescreens for a solid thirty seconds, barely comprehending anything else that tony's saying.

and then he tackles tony in a hug.

and tony jumps 'cause he's obviously startled that they did a complete 180. and peter just starts shaking like a leaf, cause the only people who've ever called him by his full name using that particular tone were people like may, and people like ben, and people like his parents—

and peter knows that tony has no idea what he's just done, but it doesn't matter, because that's the moment when peter realizes that he wants tony to think of him as a son.

Dexter Morgan^

there’s something so special to me about the casual intimacy (both physical and emotional) of the stark family. robb carrying bran to his horse. bran holding robb’s hand to comfort him. jon ruffling arya’s hair and pushing her around and her laughing and pushing him right back. ned hugging sansa and arya in front of the entire king’s court. they’re always thinking about each other and missing each other. the kids cry and fight and play and are kids, and ned and catelyn are kind to one another, and it’s beautiful. it’s so warm, so human, in contrast with the coldness of other familial relationships in the book.