Note To Self… Do Not Listen To " You Matter To Me" From Waitress While Drawing Bloodweave ...

list of mundane things that feel like ancient human rituals

cleaning or wipe your bare feet

breaking off a piece of bread and handing it to someone

putting the weight of a basket on your hip or head

eating nuts or berries while hunched over close to the ground

seeing something startling just out of your line of sight and very quickly stepping or leaping on to a larger object to get a better view

cupping your hands into running water to wash your face

the unanimous protection of a baby or child in a public space where women are present

when an elderly woman laughs and grips your forearm tightly

ai artist pushing the two minute button and then start on their microwave: 'i feel bad for the people who arent learning prompts right now theyre gonna get left behind by us tech-forward chefs'

IMPORTANT!!!

that is all

A lot clicked for me when my mom said the reason she was so reactive towards me as a kid was that she assumed intent behind things I did, rather than recognizing my behaviors for being normal kid behaviors or normal autism behaviors. So I got treated as if I was an adult who was intentionally doing things to upset her. She'd react to me like I had the maturity and wherewithal to do things in a cruel or manipulative way, making her life harder, when I was just existing. Just trying to learn how to cope and be a person myself. When she told me this I stopped in my tracks trying to process. Why would anyone's default assumption be that a kid is trying to antagonize them instead of like, struggling with something they're experiencing? But she was also raised the exact same way, treated like everything she did carried the weight of adult responsibility, not seen as a kid.

PSA that's it's not just okay for you to not forgive the people that hurt you. It is actively a deeply fucked up thing for anyone to expect or advocate that you forgive someone that hurt you deeply. The choice whether or not to do so has no business being raised or influenced by anyone but you, and it has fuck all to do with healing and moving on. Not saying hold on to every grudge and resentment ever, but you also don't have to forgive them to simply not let it affect your future.

Fuck. Forgiveness. And fuck the culture of unthinking cruelty that insists on it, even when the people in question are still actively being impacted and abused. Prioritizing an end to discord over the tending of the wounded is unforgivably malevolent.

I was reading a book (about interjections, oddly enough) yesterday which included the phrase “In these days of political correctness…” talking about no longer making jokes that denigrated people for their culture or for the colour of their skin. And I thought, “That’s not actually anything to do with ‘political correctness’. That’s just treating other people with respect.”

Which made me oddly happy. I started imagining a world in which we replaced the phrase “politically correct” wherever we could with “treating other people with respect”, and it made me smile. 

You should try it. It’s peculiarly enlightening.

I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!”

Happy Valentine’s Day.

I see a lot of posts talking about how you’re not behind in life. And it’s true and a really great message. I’m not disagreeing.

I just want to take a moment to talk to those that feel behind because they’ve lost so many years to trauma, mental illness or any number of circumstances. It’s okay to grieve for the time you’ve lost.

It’s really valid that you feel it isn’t fair that you dealt with the obstacles you did. Because it isn’t fair. And while it’s important to not get hung up on that, it’s okay to feel it and grieve what you lost.