Jar (Our Greatest Enemy)

Would you absolve him of his crimes?

Abuser’s entire play doesn’t make sense when you take it that they mean what they say. They’ll call you selfish, heartless, too sensitive, worthless, a burden, and then turn around and  make sure that you cannot possibly leave their life. Just how is it possible that you are soo horrible and the worst person ever to have around, but they also make sure you have absolutely no way to get away from them? They’ll go and convince you that you’re lucky they tolerate you, that nobody else could possibly want you around or deal with your problems, but then they also do everything in their power to stop you from leaving or from even trying to find someone better to test that theory.

And if you go and call it out, if you say ‘if I’m so selfish and sensitive and awful then why don’t you find someone else to sell this shit to’, then suddenly their game changes, then they didn’t mean it, then their words suddenly have different, hidden meanings that you should have comprehended (even though in the moment they said it, it was 100% to make you feel like the worst human being possible), and you’re supposed to always assume they say horrid shit to you because they’re upset, or because they ‘care too much’.

Abusers give themselves the privilege to change the meaning of their behaviour daily, if it achieves a goal for them on one day, and then doesn’t on another, then it meant something else that will achieve the same goal (making you feel guilty and stupid and enable them to control you more easily). Whatever they said or promised or implied, in order to make you compliant and do what they say, is no longer valid as soon as you’ve done as they say.

You, however, need to be 100% clear with what you say and what it means, and you’ll be called out for saying something little to the left of the truth 3 years ago. You have to consider how your words make them feel, what situation it puts them in, how it affects their life. Their words, however, have absolutely nothing standing behind it, and if you call it out you’re stupid, if you assume they’re for real, you’re also stupid for assuming that. There’s no way to win. Their words are only there for the sake of manipulation, they don’t stand behind a single sentence the say.

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A friend sent this to me today and I feel attacked😅

I was reading a book (about interjections, oddly enough) yesterday which included the phrase “In these days of political correctness…” talking about no longer making jokes that denigrated people for their culture or for the colour of their skin. And I thought, “That’s not actually anything to do with ‘political correctness’. That’s just treating other people with respect.”

Which made me oddly happy. I started imagining a world in which we replaced the phrase “politically correct” wherever we could with “treating other people with respect”, and it made me smile. 

You should try it. It’s peculiarly enlightening.

I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!”

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Resources For Describing Physical Things

Setting

Abandoned Mine

Airplane

Airport Check-in

Alley

Amusement Park

Attic

Bakery

Bank

Basement

Bathroom (home)

Barn

*GE* Barn 2 (Dairy Focus)

Beach

Bedrooms

Birthday Party

Bonfire

Bowling Alley

Bridge

Bookstore

Cafeteria

Casino

*GE* Catacombs

Cave

Church

City Park

Classroom

Closet

Coffee House

Courtroom

Cruise Ship

*GE* Cryogenic Sleep Chamber

Daycare

Desert

Diner

Dragon’s Lair

Dungeon (Caution Graphic Description)

*GE* Egyptian Pyramids

Elevator

Farms

Forest

Frozen Tundra

Gallows

Garage

Garage Sale

Garden

Graveyard

*GE* GLOBAL WARMING (dystopian)

Grocery Store

Halloween Party

Haunted House

Herbalist Shop (fantasy)

High School Hallway

Hospital

Hotel Room

House Fire

House Party

Kitchen

*GE* Laboratory

*GE* Laboratory (secret genetic)

Lake

Library

Locker Room

Meadow

Medieval Castle Armory

Medieval Marketplace

Middle School Dance (informal)

*GE* Mindscape (Mind Magic)

Mountains

Movie Theatre

Night Club

Nursery

Ocean/Sea Bed

Old Pick-Up Truck

Pirate Ship

Playground

Pond

Pool Hall

Prison Cell

Pub

Public Pool (Outdoor)

Rainforest/Jungle

Ranch

Restaurant

River

School Bus

School Office

Shopping Mall

Sleep-Away Camp

*GE* Spaceport

*GE* Spaceship

Stands at a Sporting Event

Storm Sewer

Subway Station

Swamp

Taxi cab

Teacher’s Lounge

Toolshed

*GE* Trailer

Treehouse

*GE* Tropical Island City

Urban Street

Video Arcade

Waiting Room

Waterfall

Water Slide Park

Wedding Ceremony (Church)

Woods at Night

Zoo

Weather

Air Pollution

Avalanche

Blizzard

Breeze

Clouds

Dew

Drought

Dusk

Dust or Sand Storm

Earthquake

Eclipse

Fall

Falling Star

Flood

Forest Fire

Frost

Hailstorm

Heat Wave

Hurricane/Typhoon

Lightning

Mirage

Mist or Fog

Moonlight

Mudslide

Rain

Rainbow

Sky

Sleet

Snow

Spring

Summer

Sunrise

Sunshine

Sunset

Thunderstorm

Tornado

Vortex

Wind

Winter

Color, Texture, & Shape

Color

Black

Blue

Brown

Gray

Gold

Green

Orange

Pink

Purple

Red

Silver

Spotted

Striped

Transparent

White

Yellow

Texture

Bumpy

Barbed/Spined

Crackled

Crumbly

Crusty

Foamy/Spongy

Fuzzy

Gritty

Pitted

Powdery

Prickly

Saw-edged/Serrated

Slimy

Smooth

Sticky

Shape

Arch

Circular/Sphere

Crescent

Heart

Oval & Oval-like

Rectangle

Spiral

Star

Square

Triangular

Tube

Wavy

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Wyll being a terrible monster hunter is something that is so special actually. told to hunt heartless devil? immediately convinced of her goodness and humanity and without hesitation agrees to defy the devil who has his soul in custody and spare karlach at tremendous personal physical cost. vampire in camp? well hes handsome and funny and pretty polite about where he puts his teeth so it’s fine all things considered. finding out the person who ritualistically disemboweled a tiefling in front of him is a bhaalspawn like an unholy progeny of the god of murder that is culturally immediately reviled? no that’s his friend and he completely trusts in their ability to fight their nature with their own inner light. it doesn’t matter that they created the absolute they’re not that person anymore. Like Wyll. you are literally categorically not hunting the monsters. guy of all time